40ish - Face Age, Neck Rage and Bladder Fails

Episode Date: June 5, 2025

This week on 40ish: Nicole discovers the scientifically calculated age of her face - and she's not thrilled. Meanwhile, Lauren sustains the most 40ish injury possible: she hurts her neck... in her sleep. A listener asks whether dating a man on two wheels is a red flag or just midlife logistics, and a 48-year-old gym-goer is left mortified (and damp)  after an unfortunate incident in front of her trainer. It’s midlife and it ain't glamourous.  To buy tickets for our live show in October click here: https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Get 10% off Daily30+ today. Go to zoe.com/daily30 and use promo code 40ISH10 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Basically we're obsessed with it and we use it on everything that we can. Ready to make Daily 30 your new healthy habit? Well head over to zoe.com forward slash daily 30 to start this week. All 40ish listeners will get 10% off plus you'll get a free Zoe tin and magnetic scoop with your order. Go to zoe.com forward slash daily 30 and use promo code 40ish10. That's zoe.com forward slash daily 30 and use promo code 40ish10. works. Halfway through a tiny bit of wheat came out. Well, yeah, it would. Well, it would. This is classic. We're going to do that. Playing Mario Kart with your own badge. Lovely. Lovely. Hello, everybody. Welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcon.

This is the podcast that navigates the challenges and absurdities of Fortisomething life in every episode. We discuss your problems and issues and rants and meltdowns that you've very, very kindly shared with us. And we also share our own stories about navigating midlife. And if you want more Fortish in your life, because of course you do, who the hell doesn't, then please come over to our subscription, which is on Apple podcasts, where you get ad free shows across this show and self care club. You get bonus content and you get early access. Lucky, lucky you. Yes. What's been going on Lauren? Um, I have managed to, I mean, it's better today. I can even look to the left.

Um, spasm, my whole neck completely froze, went into spasm, couldn't turn to the left, to the left, to the left. I was just about to sing that literally. Everything you own in a box to the left. Yeah. Couldn't do that. You put it on the right? To the right, to the right. Do you know how I did it? Go on. Sleeping. Sleeping. Woke up like that. That only happens in middle age, doesn't it? Surely. I mean, what is going to happen when we're not in middle age and we're in old age? God knows. You can do that shit whilst you sleep? I mean, I did nothing. Nothing went to bed. Fine. Woke up. Acne. Three days like that. You did also carry the puppy in a sling, but it was already bad. I mean, that helped. Didn't help. She's not small. She ain't small. No. I mean, beautiful. Don't shame her. Listen, my kids always say that

I'm body shaming my dog who's got to go on a diet. We got told by the vet. So I do body shame my dog. I'm not body shaming yours. She's perfection. Oh, she's perfect. But you can't carry around your neck. No, no, it didn't help. I've, I've renamed her Lady Diana Spencer. Yeah, because she does the thing with that Lady Diana used to do with the eyes. When she's been a bit naughty, she just does the downward glance. And also she is a natural blonde. So she's the same colouring as Lady Di. She is.

She's got your number that one. And she is a princess. She's not sleeping in the crate. She's doing exactly what she wants to do. Of course. And 16 years of having a dog who wasn't allowed on the sofa and knew he wasn't allowed on the sofa and never dreamt of getting on the sofa. This little madam, day three, climbs up the blanket to get on the sofa and that's where I sleep. But how is she allowed? Why have you allowed it? Because she's a princess. Yeah. You see what happens when you have girls.

Terrible. And even Ollie who's very strict, he sits there like straight. I'm like, you know, she's on the sofa. He's like, I mean, you know what? Life is too bloody short. Let them on the sofa. Let them in your bed. Just enjoy them.

Let them be with you. I just want my dog attached to me, velcroed to me at all times. I don't mind her being with them. Very happy, but she's not yet toilet trained and she's chewing everything. So she's so sweet. That's why they get away with it. She wants. That's why they get away with it. So you say you've hurt your neck. I've hurt my neck. Yeah. Can I just say, yeah, the whole injury thing in midlife is just not fun. It's not fun. It's not cool. It's not

clever, but it's not fair. It's just not fair. I feel like I am always injured and not only that every time I get an injury, it just takes weeks. Like you, you wait not to be the voice of doom, but this injury in your neck will take weeks to sort out. It's not just like, Oh, I'll give it a little massage or I'll do a pilates class and it's gone. No, takes fucking weeks. But you do chuck yourself around a gym, a paddle core. You do a lot of movement.

I was just asleep. Imagine what would happen to me if I did stuff. Yeah, but there are other people on the paddle core or in the gym that do more than what I do or they're less fit and less strong than I am. And they are never injured. Why am I always, my arm is still, still bad. I know. Cause you were giving it a good old go with the massage yesterday. Have you?

Yeah. So we popped over to Lauren's Adam and I popped over to Lauren's yesterday. Adam wanted to meet the puppy and Ollie was sitting there with a massage gun on his tennis elbow, wasn't he? He was. I was like, come on, chuck it over. Share the flavor. Yeah. Yeah. So we were sat there. What an afternoon that was. What an afternoon. The puppy was falling asleep on my feet. That was amazing.

And we were just sharing the massage gun. Now I think about it. That is really tragic. And Adam came over, didn't he, in a holey t-shirt, as the actual holes. Yes. Yeah. Actual ripped. His shorts were filthy, like as if he was just lying on his own couch on a Sunday.

I'm like, you can't wear that t-shirt out. Why not? Why not? Why not? So he sat there in his holy t-shirt and his dirty shorts, falling asleep on your couch. Ollie's got the massage gun. Ollie also was doing some tennis warm-ups. He was doing like some lunges. Lunges. He just stood up, didn't he, in the middle of all of it. Started lunging. I was like, can you stop doing that? It's really weird. Adam's like snoring by this voice. Ollie's lunging.

I'm just warming up. Like, what is this? Warming up for what? We're singing and drinking coffee. He was going to play tennis. Yeah, but not for another hour. I know. It was a very premature warm-up. It really was. In the garden. It really was. Yeah. It involved a lot of walking up and down. I didn't even like particularly clock it or even find it that strange. But now you come to mention it. It's quite a middle aged afternoon. 40ish afternoon we had. Yeah. Comparing injuries, falling asleep. Yeah, the massage gun and that really, really buggered my arm up from that bloody massage gun. Is that your 40ish moment of the week?

No. What is yours? No, mine's coming later. Oh! You're going to have to wait for mine. Oh, I can't wait. You can't wait? You want it now? I want it now, yeah.

We got gifted a couple of treatments at this lovely aesthetics clinic in Notting Hill. Oh, so the well. Nice. Gorgeous there. Absolutely. What in the love? It's such a lovely place. Yeah. Like a tiny little cute muse and it's pretty. I mean the shots around there. I know. Troublesome. Very. Yeah. Very. Yeah. I literally had to shut my eyes while walking. So did I. Yeah. I'm not the trophy wife of a billionaire. So just keep walking. Just walk back to the tube. Blink. Don't look at the shops. It was so gorgeous around. You know what? I could see myself around there. I could see us around there.

A lot more. I bought an iced coffee. That was all I could afford. Did you? I didn't even do that. I didn't even do that. Anyway, so they gifted us some treatments. We went separately because you've been on Puppernity. Yeah, I was on Puppernity leave. And I got gifted a gorgeous, like one of their like flagship facials. I think it's called the Aqua Gold. And it was like micro needling. It was like, I can't even explain it. Like this little device that had, I think, like maybe 10 needles in it and she sort of pricks your skin all over and she's inserting all this like amazing product like hyaluronic acid and stuff like that.

Okay. How's she inserting it? Because she's like pricking your skin with it. It doesn't hurt. She puts numbing cream on all over your skin. Okay. Because when I had that really hurt, you put, I know I such a baby. You're getting worse. Definitely getting worse. I had my nails done last week. And the girl was like, what is the matter with you? I mean,

she is she does. I've known her 20 years. She's like, what's the matter with you? Like, I don't like it. She's like, but I'm just taking the shadow. I don't like it. She got very sensitive. I don't like anyone touching me. She said that, but I'm just taking the shadow. I don't like it. She got very sensitive. I don't like anyone touching me. She said that must be nice for your husband. I was like, don't like that. He doesn't deal with it. He doesn't touch my cuticles. I hate it. I hate everything now. It's a weird conversation. It was to have with your manicure is very over familiar. She is quite familiar. Yeah. Yeah. Generally. I can tell. Anyway. Um, so she wanted to do this whole, she did do this whole like skin, like skin mapping and like puts your face

in like this machine and she like takes photos of it from all angles. And then she gives you a whole like consultation as to where your skin is at. Oh, that sounds awful. It was. Yeah. She like sun damage, aging wrinkles, sunspots. Was it all that? I would get that. Yes. Yeah. It was all that. And I kept saying, you know what? It's fine. And she's, she had to like reboot the machine. And I was like, no, no, you don't, you don't need to reboot it. I really actually don't want to know. So she's like, no, no, it's fine. Honestly, I know you think it sounds bad, but most of the time, more, more often than not, your skin is much better than you think it is. So I thought, oh, okay. And so she goes through this whole thing and she takes it from all angles and then she goes through like, and

then it like does like graphs of, you know, highlights in colors of where the damages and what you need to do. Yeah. All that shit. Yeah. Anyway, then you like working your way up to what age your skin actually is. Oh God. Yeah. And she's sort of pressing the button and pressing the button. I was like, you know what? I actually don't want to know. She goes, I promise you most of the time it is much better than you think it is. I'm like, all right then. So I'm 48 and my eight, my skin's age was 50. Oh, I mean, okay. I mean, no, not, not okay. Not okay. Not okay. So the same level of you pulling your neck in your sleep is not okay. It's not none of it's okay. So the same level of you pulling your neck in your sleep is not okay. None of it's okay.

It's not great. Then I thought, well, I went into a whole spiral of, oh my God, I like barely drink. I don't smoke. I really look after myself. And then I realized, you know, I don't really look after my skin. I don't. I barely wash it at night. I like, I do, I do minimal. And if I could be fucked up on some hyaluronic acid and some moisturiser before I go to sleep, but I do minimal. And this is why, well, just another whole load of shit that I've got to spend money on and deal with. Otherwise I'm just going to look like a haggard old trout. I still maintain that most of this stuff is genetic. I really do feel like that.

It's like it's like you can spend all the money and buy all the stuff and do all the things. But if you've got, you know, your grandma and your mom are very, very wrinkly people, you're going to be the same. No, I know. She looks like her age. My mom looks her age. It's fine. So you'll be all right then. I'm not all right. I'm two years older than she's sitting there telling me. I'm most all right am I? Because I'm two years older than I am. And she's sitting there telling me most people are much younger. So I'm thinking it's going to come in at like 35. Well we are children of the 80s. Our mothers put baby oil on us in the sun remember?

Remember they used to baste us like Christmas turkeys. We barely live in the sun. We're barely in the sun. I know but the damage was on when we were very young. No. Yeah. No. yeah. No, I didn't know about this stuff. I was thinking, oh, I don't live in a hot climate. It's fine. Well, I have actually started using SPF every day. I have. You have to. You don't. You don't. I do.

It's in my day cream. No, I think you need a separate SPF. That's what all dermatologists say. You need a separate SPF. I'm not going to find out how old my face is. It's as old as it is. It's as old as it is. How am I better off for knowing my skin is older and more haggard than I hoped it would be? How is that helping me in life? You know what it isn't? And it's cracked up in my mind. It's fucked up. Computer could say 36, computer say 66. Computer says no. It's a computer. Who cares what it says? Fucking computer. Well, I do care what it says. Stop caring. Stop caring.

It's a nice face and it belongs to you. It belongs to me and it's my face. What does she want me to do about it? My face is my fucking face. She just wants you to use SPF. That's all. That's does she want me to do about it? My face is my fucking face. She just wants you to use SPF. That's all. That's all she wants. I'm doing a disclaimer now so we don't get sued. Are you ready? Oh, are you just finishing the conversation? Yeah. I hadn't actually finished moaning.

Oh, really? Yeah. What else? I've had lots more moaning to do about it. Did you? Yeah, well you've cut me off now. I can't. I'd rather hear the listeners moaning now. Before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer.

That's not nice, is it? We're not doctors or healthcare professionals. This is a fun space where we share our thoughts, which could be totally wrong. So if there is an issue that you're seriously struggling with... Yes, I am seriously struggling with my face being older than what I thought it would be. And it could have at least just said 48. It didn't have to say 50. It was like massive letters. And then someone walked past at the same time. It was humiliating. Please contact a qualified expert. Are you ready to help someone else in need? I'll get my head, my haggard old face out of my ass to help somebody else.

Okay, here we go. Hi Lauren. Hi Nicole. I'm 44 and divorced. I'm now just going to sit here holding my face up. Great, good. I recently went on a second date with a guy that I met on Hinge. He's 46. First date went well. He was charming, funny and even recommended a decent wine which at our age is more erotic than a six pack. Agreed. No. Yes. Why is that more erotic? Because she can recommend a nice wine. She finds that sexy. I think that's sexy. If I had to choose between him being able to order a nice bottle of wine or a six pack. I'm taking the six pack. Really? Because the six pack tells you a lot about the person. A lot. I

think knowing your wine tells you a lot about the person. Isn't that interesting? But that is so you and me. The things that are more important to us. I would rather have someone kind of like cultured and intellectual who knows, oh yes, this son's hair is wonderful than someone who's like got great abs. Yeah, but I also know that a son's hair is nice or, you know, I know a nice wine. I mean, I'm not like an expert on wine that I don't drink, that I can't drink. Big difference. I do like a good wine, but I can't drink it now. That's, she says it's more erotic at her age than a six pack. I'm just saying about the six pack. It shows that he looks after himself. He works out.

Him and I can have a lot in common. Okay. Yeah. Right. For you, for you. That's a good match. We can go to the gym together. That's why I would pick the six pack. I get it. I get it. Tells me that we have a lot in common. I hear it. I have a six pack or or 44 year old hinge date or sorry, 46 year old face. You don't even have that. No, she's 40 46. She says I was genuinely excited for date two. We agreed to meet at a nice gastro pub. I put in some effort, hair done, proper bra, the works. The proper bra says it all. I was feeling good until he turned up. On an e-scooter. Not a Vespa or a moped, I mean one of those electric commuter scooters like the kind children or teenagers use or investment bros at lunchtime when they go to prep. He whizzed up, helmetless,

grinning and said, isn't this thing fun? I don't know what happened, but something in my soul shriveled. Oh, he gave her the ick. The e-scooter gave her the ick. Now I feel awful. He's lovely, but I can't unsee it. Am I being shallow? Yes. Is the scooter a symbol of freedom and eco consciousness or is he a man in midlife crisis? He doesn't sound like a man in midlife crisis. He sounds like a man who knows his wine and enjoys scooting around. I know how I feel about this, but I'm interested to know how you feel about it. I don't think it's impossible to say how I feel about this because A, I'm not dating. B, I don't know if this would give me the ick or not.

See, I've been married a very, very long time. If Adam turned up on an e-scooter, how would I feel about that? I'm not sure if he would ever turn up on an e-scooter. Ever. Never. He wouldn't. No, he wouldn't. But if he did, I'd wonder what was going on. But also she doesn't know him. No, this is only date two. on. But also she doesn't know him. No, this is only date two. I also, I don't think I'm sure what an e-scooter is. An electric scooter. You know like a scooter that children scoot on with an engine. Oh, I was thinking more of like a like a moped. No, she says not a moped or a Vespa, an actual e-scooter. Yes, Vespa, I was thinking Vespa. Yeah, an actual scooter. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it does change things. It's not for you, Nicole. It's not for you. Also, if he's on an electric scooter, that means he lives nearby. Well, you couldn't have walked. Maybe he doesn't live that nearby.

Maybe he lives like... How far could he live? How long... 25, maybe he's like a 45 minute walk, but it's 20 minutes on an e scooter. No one's going to go 20 minutes on an e scooter. You got to charge that shit. What happens? You got to charge that after the date. Like, is he going to put her on the back of the scooter and scoot home with her? Or is he going to tuck it under his arm? Or

like, or maybe he was just planning on having dinner with her and going home his separate ways. Yeah, clearly. Clearly. He was a problem. That's a problem. That's a problem. Why? I think it's very respectful if that's what he was assuming. Is it respectful? I don't know. I'm not dating. I don't know if that's respectful. I think because surely he'd think, well, you never know. You'd want him to be open minded about how the date is going to go. If he's coming on the scooter, he is not. He is leaving that date at the restaurant on his own. On the scooter. Maybe that's why he bought the scooter. I think what I want to know is does he have a car and an e-scooter? Because to me, I'm not a petrol head. I couldn't care less about cars. Nothing, nothing turns me on about a man in a Porsche,

a Land Rover, a Skoda, Hyundai, a Toyota. It's called a Hyundai. It's called a Hyundai. No, you, the adverts, they do it in a very different way. Hyundai. It's a whole thing. Schkoda. You can't say Schkoda. It's Schkoda. I don't give a fuck. Like whatever. It's a car. It doesn't do it for me. I'm not into like men who use Ferraris as extensions of their penises. I'm not interested. That would give me the ick. If he turned up in a Ferrari. With a Ferrari baseball cap. No, forget even without the Ferrari baseball cap.

If he turned up in a Ferrari that would give me the ick more than the e-scooter. It wouldn't give me the ick but it wouldn't get my juices flowing. It tells you so many things. I think some men have a thing that they think that their flash car, you know, turns women on. Maybe it does with young women. I don't give a shit. I think that is an age thing. Yeah, it probably is. I'm sure that is an age thing. I'm sure a 21 year old would love it.

Yeah. Ollie used to have a Vespa. Did he? Yeah. And he bought me a helmet. This was like before we were married. So we could like zip around London. And it really annoyed me because a helmet hair, B, but you can't really wear like a short skirt. You know, I was young, so I was wearing short skirts. You know, it affected the whole evening outfit vibe and then heels. Yeah, you can't really put heels on a Vespa. But you don't want to. And also then like at night when you were coming home from your date, it's cold. I wasn't loving it.

What if it's raining? Well, exactly. You know, we weren't living in like, Sicily. We were in London. So it just sounds very romantic. It sounds so like cute and romantic. It wasn't. And then one morning at 7 15, I got a call from an ambulance, from a paramedic saying saying, hello, you're I've got, I've got Ollie here. And then he snatched the phone. He's like, I told her not to ring you because you'd think I was dead. And basically he got knocked off it like in the rush hour. And I was like, that's it. It's going, it's going. He's going. He was absolutely fine. He he wasn't hurt but you know because someone knocked him they had to call the ambulance blah

blah blah anyway we're done this woman is saying is should she carry on seeing him and she should just get over it or not I think you should get over it if he's a nice guy and he knows his wines and you were looking forward to the day and you had a great time you cannot let this affect you but you know once you've got the ick you can't unget it. I think you can unget the ick. Do you? I do. I do. I really do. Cleanse all the icks over. I think I would need a broader picture of him. Like maybe he just uses it to go from place to place. If the e-scooter is his whole personality then it's a no. But you can't have a whole personality based on an e-scooter. You might, because he might take it everywhere. He might be really passionate about it. He

might be like, even if one day we get married and have kids, I'm always going to have an e-scooter and I'll, and also then I'll get a bike and I'll, and I'll put them in one of those like trolleys with a flag on and you know, I hate those. I hate those children in a wheelbarrow. I think you've taken it too far. But you know what I mean? No, I don't think it's like a whole non-negotiable that, you've taken it too far. But you know what I mean? No. I don't think it's like a whole non-negotiable that, you know, it's either her or the e-scooter.

You don't know. I really don't think. I think we're blowing this totally out of proportion as is she. Give him a third date. Yes, give him a third date. Unless they snogged and he was a terrible kisser. I totally agree with all of that. Because that is a non-negotiable. Yeah.

Okay. The second question. I'm ready. I'm 49 and recently started seeing a personal trainer because apparently my metabolism has left the building. Oh, I thought she meant dating, but she's saying like as in hired a personal trainer. Yeah. Anyway, my trainer is this very enthusiastic 26 year old New Zealander who keeps calling me Queen Queen while making me do things my knees haven't done since the late 1990s. Okay. This week towards the end of the session, he introduced me to a move called the burpee tuck jump. I don't know what that is. I do.

What is it? I wouldn't be able to do it these days. What is it? I'm not gonna show you. No, explain it though. You do a burpee, and then as you jump- So squat down, put your legs out behind you, put them back in.

You do a burpee. Yeah. Most people- Jump up. Jump up, and as you jump up, you tuck your knees in. You do a burpee. Yeah. Most people. Jump up. Jump up and as you jump up, you tuck your knees in. Oh, okay. It's hideous. Sounds awful. Yeah, but you wouldn't just do one.

You'd have to do like 20. That sounds awful. Yeah, you'd hate it. Yeah, I would. Halfway through, see, this is what I mean. She's 49, you can't get 49 year old women to do this. It's not fair. Halfway through, a tiny bit of wee came out. Well, yeah, it would. Well, it would. This is classic.

That's why I don't do shit like this anymore. I was hyper aware that I was in pale pink leggings and terrified that he saw it. Now I have to go back tomorrow and I'm considering faking an injury so I can cancel or moving gyms or just buying tenner lady Which makes me want to crawl in a hole and die. What would you do? I? Wouldn't be doing the burpee tuck jump things in the first place that I maintain Don't go to the gym and don't hire personal trainers and I don't think she's gonna need to fake an injury because she's 49 She's probably gonna wake up with one anyway. So it'll probably just be real. You know what I mean? She'll probably get out the shower and she'll be like, oh, oh no,

I got out the shower and now I can't move my shoulder. So she can just genuinely say. Listen, I think the burpee tuck jump is going to cause more issues than a little bit of weed coming out. I out. God be honest. Yeah. Since my back surgery, I can't do burps anymore. And you know what? I don't miss them. I'm not sorry for it. I'm sure they are not missing from my life. I don't think I've ever done them and I still don't miss them. They're revolting. They sound dreadful. There's no point in them. There is actually no point. I don't want to do a little bit of we in front of a 26 year old New Zealand, Zealand personal trainer man. That'd be really, really embarrassing. Nobody does. No, nobody does. No, no one needs that.

I would. I wouldn't lie about it. I would just I would lie about it. I would very much. I would go back and say I'm not doing burpee tuck jumps. They're not for me. It'll be like queen. You can do them. You're so fabulous. Come on. I really, I really want to give my opinion, but I think it's going to go down like a lump of lead. Well, just give it, just give it. Anyway, see me burn? Yeah. Yeah. I want to see you burn on the internet. Make a nice change from you. Yeah, it would actually. I don't think.

Come on. Oh God, what are you going to say? I don't think this 26 year old knows what they're doing with a menopausal woman because no menopausal woman needs to be doing burpee tuck knee jumps, whatever. You don't need to do it. What you need to be doing with your personal trainer is strength training and building muscle. That is what you need to be doing. Finished this fucking throwing yourself around in a burpee or doing plyometric work. So waste a fucking time. It's a waste of time. You need to do that.

And in order to get your cardio in, get your steps in, go for a walk or go for a very, very light jog a couple of times a week. And that's it. You don't need any of this bullshit. So she should get a new trainer. Suck him off. That's what you're saying. I'm saying she should, she should say to him, this is not working for me. This is not the program I need. Listen, she's trusting his expertise. So he should know. Yeah. But he's a 26 year old and perhaps some of his, you know, his clientele isn't that age group. And he's also a man. So he may not understand the pelvic floor workings of a 49 year old. But generally the workings of a 49 year old woman, she doesn't need that. She shouldn't be training like that.

That's my opinion. I don't think you're going to get burnt on the internet for that. I'm sure it's very sensible to me. I know nothing, but I'm not a trainer. No, but it sounds sounds like common sense. I'm not a trainer, but I've been training for a long time and I am very invested and very intentional about how I train and what I need as a medical woman.

And it is not that if you had done a little bit of wee wee during your session, what would you do? Apart from want to die in a hole, which I understand. I mean, I totally get it. What would I do? I'd wash the leggings for a start. Well, that's the first thing, but it depends if you've paid up for sessions. If you you've paid up for sessions. If you haven't paid up for sessions, honestly, forget the wee bit for a minute. Let's put a pin in that. I don't think this is the right trainer for you. That's my opinion because he's getting you to do things you don't need to be doing. There's no good for your back and it is not going to be a pelvic floor and it is just, it's just not good for you. It's just not good for your back and it is not good for your pelvic floor and it is just it's just not good for you it's just not good for your body at this stage so yeah but the

wee thing doesn't help. I'd like to add in as someone who was previously in the vagina business I think she may also want to concentrate a little bit on strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. How do we do that? Well there are many ways you do your pelvic floor exercises which you can just squeeze sit and squeeze I'm doing it now just, hold up in the lift, up, up, up a floor and then relax. You can do it. It's very easy. Up in the lift, up, up, up a floor. Yes. Squeeze, go up a floor, go up another floor, go up another floor, hold and then relax. Do you see? It's fine. And then you can do quick ones. Is that it? Yeah, go on. Quick. Hold, loosen, hold, relax, hold, relax. You can do 10 of those. This is great. Yeah, they're very good for you. Or you can get one of those little

devices that we tested out on Self Care Club. Pelvic floor trainers. You can also go to like physios. Yes, they have women's special physios. Also someone told me that they do these new devices now, which are like pelvic floor trainers that you insert, but then you play a game. It links to your phone. So then you can play a game like imagine a kind of Mario Kart game. Yeah. Well, basically you move the figures on in the game using your pelvic floor muscles. It's like you squeeze, it jumps, you squeeze, it jumps. Clever. Got to get ourselves some of those. You'd love that because it would be all about like getting to the next level. Oh, James says we should do it live. I mean, James is so desperate for us to do live. Now he's just trying to talk our language. Maybe not the insertion bit, but we could try it. We could for sure. Try it.

What? Put the game on the big screens behind us. Yes. And then see who wins. That would actually be amazing. We should do that. Okay. I don't know what the company's called, but we'll find it out. We should do that. You know, I won't be able to link it to my phone. You know, then change is going to have to come in and link it to your phone. It's going to be so embarrassing.

What are we talking about? Squeeze, squeeze. Is it on? I don't know. Let me check. No, go away. Take it out. James will get all annoyed.

I'll get some gloves. Take it out. I need to check if it's working. Have you put batteries in it? Have you switched to Bluetooth? Take it out. What are we trying to explain? And I'll be some gloves, take it out, I need to check if it's working. Have you put batteries in it? Have you switched to Bluetooth? Take it out! What are we trying to explain?

And I'll be sitting there winning the game. Squeezing, squeezing. Oh, I'm on level five! We should invite this lady to play with us. We're going to do that. Playing Mario Kart with your own vag. Lovely. Lovely. Okay. Menopause is so fun. Menopause is so fun.

Let's play Mario Kart with our own vag. Now there is something I never thought I'd say especially on my podcast and yet we have only on my I would only say it on my podcast I would say at home to who anyone you've got all boys now you can say it's a lady die she'll understand she's got a nanny she gets it yeah sort of she doesn't understand much she's only nine weeks old. Oh she's so delicious. I've got to go home to her now. Lucky you. I know. Should we sign off?

Yeah. We will see you on Tuesday for Unfiltered. If you want to keep your emails coming in please do hello at 40ish.co.uk we'll be back on Tuesday. Bye bye.