40ish - Falling, Fibbing and Airing the Fanny

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

This week on 40ish. Things are looking up for Lauren in the laundry room, but the moment she steps outside? Down she goes. Did she fall over… or, at our age, has she officially “had a fall”? Nicole has a jolly trip to Costco (pick n’ mix for adults with no self control) and makes a shocking confession involving lying to Lauren. Could it be the end of a beautiful friendship? (Spoiler: probably not, but we milk the drama like pros.) Prosopagnosia makes another bewildering appearance raises its head again, one listener is sharing her HRT with her dog - yes, really. And we tackle the big questions bothering you this week - knickers under pyjamas yay or nay? Grab a cuppa, settle in, and prepare for midlife mayhem in all its weird, relatable, delightful glory. We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everybody, welcome back to 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we tackle the delicious, delictitious delights of being 40-ish. We share stories, dilemmas, news, rants, gripes, and our own loveliness. Yeah. That sort of thing, right? From the mundane to the ridiculous, we figure it out all here, don't we? And how to survive midlife, one-rank crisis or meltdown at the time or all of the above. And please remember, you can subscribe to this show on Apple Podcasts and over there you get early access on this show and self-care club.

You get everything ad-free on this show and self-care club. So if the adverts are annoying you, just come over there for 499 month and you don't have to hear any annoying adverts. and you get bonus content that you won't get anywhere else and that's over at Apple Podcasts and you can watch the video every week of this on Spotify or you can listen on any other podcast platform

and lastly if you've got something to share big or small we want to hear it all every rant every meltdown every dilemma email us hello at 40ish dotco.uk we have had so much feedback coming in and I am here for it me too we got one this morning that I'm actually going to say

for next week but it came with photo Oh, I mean, I love it. Yeah. Multimedia. Multimedia. I mean, I am loving it. I don't even think that term is used anymore. Yes, it is.

What's the most fortunate thing that's happened to you this week? Oh, what? I went to Costco. I know, because I saw on Instagram. Yeah, put it on our stories. That's how I found out that you were in Costco without me. It's not like I went to barbedos. And you went with your friend, Nina.

It didn't even tell me. I've started a new podcast without you and I just put it on Instagram None of those things have happened I went for coffee with my friend Nina And she said what you're doing now I said I've got to pop to Costco I said oh I love Costco

I said why don't you come with me And you know what we've been friends for 35 years She is great fun Nina She is a great fun And we have never been to Costco together And let me tell you something Going to Costco with Nina was really fun I can totally imagine that

I did have a bit of phoneway Because I was like I want to go to Costco with Nina I'd love to because I bet she's great fun I bet she likes all the Christmas tat what is wrong with that comment you and Nina I want to go to go with you and Nina

but you know what I find you I tell you why I find you a little over efficient in Costco we've been to Costco together hold on pause do you not find me a little

over efficient in most places yes but in Costco no you've got to get in you've got to get out I disagree you've got to go you've got a shm You've got to go up the aisle, down the aisle. You've got to look at this, look at that, put it in the trolley, take it out the trolley.

You're not going to go up the aisle with light bulbs and batteries, are you? You don't need to go up and shmai dry around that aisle. It's a boring aisle. You just, there's not enough lingering. We had to go to the world's most boring aisle because Adam, like the screwdrivers. Adam got involved in the Costco trip. He's like, can you get? What was it?

Tools. Light bulbs and batteries. And actually, as it turns out, they are in the same aisle. And as Nina and I was so depressed to go up this aisle. We'd done the cookies, we'd done the fresh food We'd done all the Christmassy stuff And as we walked in I said to her, right, you cannot get

Don't get into a Costco lull Okay, she's like, what does that mean? I said When you start seeing things and you think you need everything But actually you need nothing, it's a bit like prime mark Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And then you get it all home and you're like This is all utter tut and shit. This woman put a post up on Facebook yesterday

I don't know her, but it just said I just wanted, hello, I just came on here to boast that I went to Costco and I only spent 200 pounds. And all these people underneath were like, liar, what a flex. It's quite a lot money. It's impossible to go there without spending that. And then someone else was like, I went and I spent £11.40 and everyone said they were lying. Well, they must have just gone in and bought their lunch and gone out.

They bought a chicken and left. Yeah. It's so hard to do that in there. It's hard to get out of Costco under £100, I will say. But I go to Costco a lot now, so I'm quite good. Because you're very. Efficient. The Christmas shop there for me is not efficient.

It's looking at all the little statues and all the tacky stuff. But you love all that shit. I love it. So tacky. But that's what I'm saying. Nina would be down with that. She was down with it. Of course she was.

Anyway, we got in. Yeah. And you know they put the stands. There's always a new stand right at the front. Of course. Or the stand. Yeah. As we have talked about previously on this show, as we walked in, there was a whole massive stand.

of the heated blankets. That were in the catalogue that I sent you the screenshot of. Yeah. And they were a good price. And we spent a lot of time at the heated blankets. We hadn't even gotten into the store

and to the point that we were everybody, we got chatting to everybody around this heated blanket stand. Were you like selling them? I mean, we might as well of. Yeah. You know, I should be on commission for these heated blankets.

I should too. I've been promoting them for weeks. You haven't even got one. I haven't even got one. I've only got the catalogue. So anyway, get let's get out of Costco I came home with my heated blanket and on Saturday afternoon I had been running around since seven o'clock that morning I don't know what the fuck I've been doing but I was so busy

and I laid on my couch I put that heated blanket baby on is it battery operated or does it plug in plug in and it heats up within about a minute sounds dreamy and then the dog yeah came Of course, because it was warm. Oh, my God. She was right on top of me. And I was watching the new episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. You were like a pig and shit. Which you don't do, which you are missing out on.

And let me tell you something. I have never been happy. I sent you a photo. You did, yeah, you did. You did look happy. Well, you didn't see me in it. I saw the dog. I mean, who wouldn't be happy with the dog?

Heated blanket. This is what's coming to. Never been happier. I'm down with it. Well, let me tell you my most 40-ish thing. Things are looking up in the laundry. room slash my office. The dryer is fixed.

The same boy, and I say boy, because he's literally the same age as one of my sons, he returned. And I was like, Nabil, hi. Hi, hi again. This week I've got milk. And I know how you like your coffee. So I've already made the coffee because I already had the text. Nabil will be with you in the next 15 minutes.

I made him a coffee. I was like, you, I said to him, you and I both know that it wasn't the filter. We've been through that pantomime. so this week let's actually get to the root of the problem shall we because look at my laundry out here I haven't got a need I'm fixed can I just can I just please say right the beginning of this story but it's sort of I hope in the middle and I hope it's coming to an end I don't want to know what the problem was with Tom dry no one we're not going to tell you listening wants to know and Nabil if he's told you don't need back told me then he sent an email then Ollie read the email anyway it's fixed and let me tell you what else happened later that day I put a wash on took the laundry out, found 40 quid in the washing machine. Mine? I mean, obviously not mine, but mine now.

What do you mean? Obviously not yours. Well, I didn't put 40 quid in the washing machine. I never carry cash, but it's mine now. You know what's so good is now the notes are plastic. Actually, you can wash them in the washing machine and they're fine. Yeah. So I'm just, that's what I'm saying.

Things are looking up in the laundry room. I'm 40 quid up and my try is fixed. But Ollie's 40 quid down, I assume. Shh. Listen, we've got Costco feedback. Oh, it's from George. George says Costco is honestly like pick and mix for adults with no self-control. I have thought, oh Nicole's choking.

Swallow. I literally took a swig as he said that and then I couldn't laugh. I have thought of a great question. You've been given a thousand pounds to spend, but you have to spend it all in I, M&S or Costco, which would you pick? Oh, it's so easy. Which? Which?

Which? Costco. Every time. I'd pick M&S. Great. Because of the clothes? James says I'm a fool. Why am I a fool?

He is really turning on her today, can I just say. James? I'm here for it. Why? Why am I a fool? Why am I a fool? I could buy all the lovely jumples. You do what you like.

Go be middle age and M&S. I'm going to be very happy in Costco. We're going to buy fucking reticery chickens. Yes, I would buy rotissory chicken what you turn your nose up for i would also buy the broccoli salad i would also buy another heated blanket 14 pounds 50 you're up to like 20 quid i would also buy they've got some very nice dog walking coats in there that i just think they're 79 pounds is a bit much right you still not even up to 250 quid what else you're buying it can i have to tell you now yeah

okay i will tell you what i'm buying go on i'd buy they had loads of lovely crockery in there crockery okay crockery hmm i don't think i'd buy crockery Costco. Well, I already have. No, you haven't. I have. I have. What have you bought? Well, wait and see. Oh my. Okay. Right. Crockerie. Have I got to spend the thousand pounds now? Yes. And then we're going to go through what you're going to spend in M&S. No, because I can't tell you now. Oh, but I have to tell you now. Could you buy one of those absolutely enormous, I'm talking like six foot, light up, reindeer's and I can have it in my front garden? You know, No.

Like something really tacky. No. Why? You know what? I would go to Costco and as you say I'm efficient, I reckon I could spend that £1,000 in under 10 minutes. Like a supermarket sweep. Under 10 minutes.

James, you're with me? Well, you could just buy booze. Yeah. You could buy champagne. I wouldn't even, you know what? I wouldn't even touch the alcohol. Okay, well, thank you, George. That was an insightful and thoughtful question.

It was, actually. We like those sorts of questions. You actually wrote back to George. I did. I said, we love you, George. We love you. He said thanks. Okay, here's another one. Hi, Lauren and Nicole. First off, absolutely love your pod. I discovered Self Care Club during the pandemic. I had to give 40 a try when it was launched. I think I like it even more. I'm a Brit living in sunny California. Good for her. Don't boast. But I love keeping in touch with home and hearing your British accent and the unmistakable British sense of humour, the Americans just don't get it. Anyway, I was listening to Lauren talking about facial blindness. on your last pod it is a thing and i have it too she says i always thought i just had a terrible memory because someone would say hi to me i didn't know who they were the worst was when i was at a president's club with my husband and i swear the wives all blended into one i had no idea who i'd met

who i hadn't it was truly orcs what's a president's club i think it's like a members club type thing in america in america i said nice to meet you after chatting to a lady who pointed out we'd been at the same table for dinner the night before and had chatted at length. Oh my God, I swear my toes shriveled an embarrassment. How does she not remember this? I totally understand this. I saw Joanna Lumley being interviewed on TV a few years ago. She was talking about this. It's called prosopagnosia. Prosopagnosia. And she has it too and it was a light bulb moment. It's not just bad memory. Plus, Brad Pitt has it. So we are in good company. It's more common than you think, listen to this.

Some people have it so severely. They cannot recognize themselves in photos. That's bad, right? I don't have that. But then, can I just say, she recognized Joanna Lumley? No, she saw her being interviewed on TV. Yes. I don't not recognize everyone.

I recognize you. I recognize James. I recognize my family. It's just some people. Don't go into whatever that deeper bit of the brain. is. Anyway, she said, I thought I'd share that info. I'm sure your listeners will have resonated.

Thanks for the great pod. I love listening when I'm walking my dog, an adorable English cocker spaniel, Emma. Thanks, Emma. I do feel like you've like fanned the flames, a little Emma. It is a thing. Look, I do recognise myself in photos.

But I totally resonate with like, you sat next to me at dinner last night and we talked and you don't know who I am today. I totally understand. No, you wouldn't be that bad. I mean I do point people out to you a lot Although I had an incident the other day in the gym Didn't I? Oh yeah, you did

Share with the group I don't know if I want to Okay, don't share with the group But no one's gonna like that Alright, I'll share with the group Thanks I can't because he said he listens to the show I can't

Oh, she can't Okay, he listens to the show Okay Basically someone came up to me And spoke to me like he was an old friend and I had absolutely not idea who this man was. Do you know who he is now? No.

You still don't know who he is? No. But he said he listens to the show. He said, oh, I listen to your podcast. I'm like, oh, thanks. Maybe the other one. Well, when someone says that to me, I was a little slightly panicked. Yeah, me too.

Because, like, what have you listened to? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What have I shared? Do you know about my period or not? I don't talk about my periods. I know. I've got to stop talking about it.

Okay, you still don't know who. I'd love to know who he was. How are you going to know? You wouldn't remember him anyway. When you're flying Emirates business class, enjoying a good night's rest in your lie flat seat. You'll see that your vacation isn't really over until your flight. is over. Fly Emirates. Fly better. Get no frills, delivered.

Shop the same in-store prices online and enjoy unlimited delivery with PC Express Pass. Get your first year for $250 a month. Learn more at pceexpress.ca. Have you ever had a moment where you think, man, someone should really do something about this? Then you realize maybe that someone is you. Well, with the help of GoFundMe, you can change someone's life. You could start a go-fund me to help a friend pay for school, fund that new community space, or help a local kid finally get to that national competition. I've seen this myself. Last year, a friend of mine launched a go-fund me to help with medical bills after an unexpected surgery. It was incredible how fast the support rolled in. People want to help. They just need a way

to do it. And GoFundMe makes it easy. So do you have a dream, a person, or a cause in your life that could use some support, don't wait for someone else to bring change. You can be the one who makes a difference. GoFundMe is the world's number one fundraising platform, trusted by over 200 million people. Start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com. That's gofundme.com. Gofundme.com. Shall we move on to Midlife News? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. In a report this week, I am at In a report this week, more than 2,000 women, aged between 45 and 65, that's our demographic, including 222 divorcese were surveyed. Sorry, sorry, who was surveyed? 2,000 women, between 45 and 65 and 22 what?

Divorces, people who are divorced. No, no, I know. Why are you giving me that look? Over 2,000 women were at interview. Oh my God, this is not that complicated. 220 of them are divorced. right okay a third of them this is not that confusing right right go on what did you think i wouldn't mind i've sent you the article yeah that's a little worrying a third of them said they were happier than they

had ever been. Half of them, half of the divorced women said they instigated it. And in addition, 56% of the total number of women, that's 56% of the 2000 women, said that they would end their marriage if they were unhappy. Basically, what they're saying is there is relief and excitement after divorce. That's what the article's about, that women are enjoying being divorced. Yes, but it's women ages 45 to 65. So that's a very specific demographic, isn't it?

Yep, yep, yep. Many of them spoke about finally having a chance to become the woman they always wanted to be, setting themselves up for the next half of their life. This sense of moving into a better next chapter was often heady and exciting. The study observed that a higher life expectancy amongst women and improvements in health play a significant factor in older women's zest for life after they divorce. Basically because our life spans have pretty much doubled. so now we might live to 100.

Well, it's also basic biology. Yeah, because you don't physically need a mate to procreate with. They become biologically speaking null and void. So lots of women don't want to have sex and don't want to be tied to a particular man anymore because their nest is empty. The job is done and their lives are being lived just for them. I'm really sorry, but if women don't want to be having sex, then they need to go and get their own.

their hormones checked. Well, maybe not with that person, is what I mean. No, actually, I think what you've said is quite true that a lot of women don't want to have sex. Well, but actually, if you don't have a libido, then there is a slight issue. You need to get that check because you should have a libido, regardless of your age. You should. Regardless of your age? Yeah.

Yeah. But my point is, biologically speaking, once we're over 50, the job is done. the job is done so that's why I think this happens I don't think that's just why it happens I think yes that that plays a factor in it but I think all of the other demands and expectations

have freed up for women so they're able to focus on the things that they want for themselves and sometimes that doesn't involve their partner that they've been with for 20 years but 50 now is not what 50 is to be 50 was like the golden girls you're sailing into old age 50 isn't now like I remember my parents I remember my dad's 50th I mean he threw the most amazing 50th but women at 50 now are not what they used to be like they're not but you're going no but you're going back generations like

my mom and her friends at 50 were very active very sprightly very fashionable you know very much looking after themselves like you like you and I are they didn't they didn't look older or behave older that was a generation ago but we are living much longer so the like so another yes 40 years with these same husbands who maybe you're not really so into and also who you know you've now raised and finished raising the children with I understand I understand why this is happening I get it we've actually got two dilemmas I don't know which one we should talk about let's have a look What are the headlines?

I mean, one's very quick. Should we just sort it out for her? Just, okay. Hi ladies, please solve this dilemma that has caused much division between my group of girlfriends during a night out. Should you wear knickers under pyjamas or not? I don't think there's a should to that. Well, you know how I feel about these things.

You would say no. I would say no, air the nunny. Although the nunny isn't getting much air under pyjama bottom. So I would say absolutely not no. Unless you've got your period in which case, yes. I would always wear a pair of knickers. Under pyjama bottoms? Depends on the pyjama bottoms.

Why? I don't like airing it. You don't like airing it. Okay. I say no, you say yes, so we're not, we haven't really, we're no clearer. I don't think there's a right or wrong. I don't think there's a should or a shouldn't, yeah. But often I would just wear knickers but not pajamas.

Yeah, same. I did that last night. I think I did that last night. Often I will just wear a pair of knickers. But would you not wear knickers, just sleep naked? I never do that. Yes. Most of the time I sleep naked.

Sometimes I sleep with just a t-shirt. Sometimes I sleep with just the knickers. No, I would never sleep with a t-shirt and no knickers. That's just wrong. Sometimes I sleep with pyjamas. So it's, you know... It has to be very cold for me to sleep with pyjamas. It's however I'm feeling when I get into bed.

There you go. Okay, solved. Is it? There is no, there is no shit or should. No. Do what you like. Do what you like. The next one.

Hi, Nicole and Lauren. There's a small group of us who hang. out. It's a random group. We all met as adults, but we've clicked and have hung out for coffees, drinks, for about four years. We're all in our 40s. We're not close, close friends. We're not close, close friends, but as far

as new friendship goes, there's warmth and support and laugh. Sounds dreaming. About six months ago, a new woman drifted into the group. She's a very big personality. Let's call her Linda. Linda has built bonds with everyone, but doesn't give me the time of day beyond nice it is. She's never rude.

It's just like I'm invisible to her. I've been friendly and open and I don't know if something happened to put her off me, but little things... But little things have added up and now I'm hyper-aware if I'm talking that sometimes she turns around and begins a new conversation. I think that's a bit rude.

It is very rude. She talks about herself all the time and every gathering is like the Linda show as she dominates it. The problem is everyone else thinks she's great. Now I'm wondering if maybe these aren't my people after all. I know I sound a bit jealous.

Maybe I am. It just makes me sad. I don't enjoy spending time with them all anymore. What would you do? Oh, I mean... That's hard. This is what happens when you meet a new group of people and you just get to know people, don't you?

And then you realize, oh, hold on a second. I didn't know this part of you. And it can always be a little bit disappointing, can't it? it's basically this woman has changed the dynamic of the group so the group functioned quite nicely for well for her for her but now linda's there everyone's all into linda or as my son would say everyone's glazing glazing what's this glazing thing i said to my daughter you look so pretty why you glazing me yeah if if josh has one of his friends around always saying oh hi la la la you know what you're one of my favorites like stop glazing him it's like bigging them up anyway everyone's

obviously glazing linda and linda sounds like linda sounds so annoying linda is probably just fun linda no and i think this woman's nose is out of joining a bit i don't think linda is fun linda i think linda is is is breathing too much oxygen in the space but they're all lapping it up okay but she doesn't like it so what does she do why should she have to leave her group of new friends she doesn't okay so what should she do i mean maybe just take a step back but then she's losing out Linda's like you know Fun Bobby Linda And everyone's having a good time

Apart from her Well maybe they'll all cotton on to the fact The Linda isn't so great Because all she does to talk about herself So let it play out I would say so Because those people do tire quite quickly Don't they

Yeah Well no Because now I'm like sitting here Secretly worrying that I'm Linda I mean not in this scenario But like am I a Linda What scenario would you be Linda? Like am I a Linda

Do I take up to much air and my two chatty m'chack pants but you're not in a group of women but when i'm in a group of women and my two chattie mitchat pants even when we did the traitors i was too friendly let me tell you something you fucked that right up I did you fucked it right up yeah whenever someone asked me about the traders I always say oh Lauren was a terrible terrible she would make a terrible traitor yeah I would you got voted off instantly yeah because you were gobby that's what I'm saying yeah but you were went round the table and introduced

and introduced yourself to go hi I'm Lauren yeah hi I'm Lauren yeah I was like what are you doing just stay fly under the radar I was being friendly so I didn't seem threatening traitorish but it backfired on me yeah you played the game really badly and I was really shocked I was really shocked disappointed I was a bit I was a bit because we went into the whole thing and you were like

I know you're going to be a traitor I know you're going to be a traitor I know you're going to be I know you're going to be chosen. I'm like, no, you're going to be. And I wasn't, but you were. I got recruited. Yeah, you take me on recruitment. So I naturally assumed that you were a traitor. And then when I found out who the traitors were and it wasn't you, I was like, what?

I hadn't recruited you because I wasn't a traitor. Also, I also felt really disappointed that I didn't cotton on that you were a traitor. That really annoyed me. But also, you were next to me, so I couldn't see you because we were at a round table and you were seated right next to me. So I couldn't really look at your face. You wouldn't have known anyway. You wouldn't have known. Listen, I am very, very, very good with people.

I am. Although, I have to say, on my paddle group that I'm on, every time I put a message on there, I have flagged it to a couple of girls, no one ever replies to me. What does that mean? Am I the Linda? Well, I don't know. That's what I'm saying. Maybe I'm the Linda. Or maybe I'm this woman. Maybe they're all Linders and I'm this, no, they're not. But they never, ever, ever reply to me. Like, if I look for a game, do they hate you. Maybe they do. And maybe I just don't realize. And then I'm on it, don't laugh

That's not nice Like how happy you are You're like gleeful I'm not happy But you are so happy That's not true Because you play all the time So someone's obviously

replying to you It's not like it's like tumbleweed It is Should I put a message on the group now I'm telling you it's tumbleweed Hi can we play today at three o'clock No Bug off

No one will reply to me But you're playing every day So who are you playing with imaginary friends No I'm playing with other people People. We'll do a meltdown this week. Yeah. Well, meltdown's already?

We're here. I actually don't have a meltdown. Oh. I do have a confession. Oh. Though. Mm-hmm. Do you remember you sent me a message?

In fact, I'll try to put it up. We have so many messages. that's fine just tell me you started snooping around megaphone oh my god okay i think that you need to use another word it wasn't snooping around well we need to describe what megaphone we need to explain what megaphone is megaphone is the the platform that we use to upload shows insert ads organize the show the release of the shows basically right yeah yeah they distribute it out so this is how you're listening to it now so we input it into Megaphone. I don't touch Megaphone. Lauren doesn't let me tell you something right let me tell you about something about

Megaphone right it has every single piece of information that you need about this podcast in Megaphone so the fact that Lauren doesn't ever go into it is automatically problematic. I don't touch it's not my business it's not my place it's not my universe it is actually your whole business I know but I also your whole business is on Megaphone but I'm so scared of Megaphone why you scared of it's like if I touch something I could just delete our whole library you couldn't i could just like anything could happen but i had to go into megaphone because i was trying to calculate the number of shows we needed to record before our christmas break i have never ever known lauren to go into megaphone well anyway i went in to calculate she went into snoop that

was my snooping anyway what did you find when you went in when i went in i found that one show didn't have any ad break, mid-roll ad breaks, and another show looked like it was going out on a weird day. And I was like, I don't know what's going on here. I'm not touching it because I'm terrified to, but I need to tell Nicole because she's in charge of a megaphone. So I got automatically defensive, didn't I? Oh, yeah.

What are you doing it? What are you even doing in there? I'm literally like just trying to figure out our recording schedule, you know, so that we have shows that go out to our listeners. Don't touch it. I was in the middle of uploading, actually. I'm like, dude, how do I know that you're in the middle of uploading?

I'm just in my house, quietly trying to make sure that we have enough shows. What happens is you upload the show, right? And then it takes about, depending on how big the file is, sometimes it can take like 15 minutes to upload. So you can't put an outbreak in. Okay, well, I don't know this. No, no.

How would I know? Because we've been doing this for five years, like you should, nearly six years. Yeah, I still don't know. Amazing. It's just amazing. It's a miracle. What would you do without me?

I wouldn't be in podcasting, I imagine. I would hire James to do all that. Would you? Yeah. I would just come in and talk and James would deal with it. James would deal with everything. So, what was my point? Anyway, you were in the middle.

It took time to upload. So it takes, so it takes. So it takes 15, 20 minutes to upload, and then you can input the ads. Yeah. And sometimes I like go, I'm not going to sit there watching it for 15, 20 minutes. So I go come back to it. And in the midst of me uploading it and coming back to it, you'd gone in, had a little snoop. And then messaging me, like, you're checking up on me.

Like, why isn't this ad break in here? And why is this going out on a rock shirt? It's not what she said at all. And I got really to fend it's like, fucking hell, just leave it alone. Like I was in the middle of doing it. it yeah okay that so what's your confession my confession is i wasn't in the middle of doing it i'd completely forgotten about it and the fact that you had seen that it was going out on the wrong day is because i'd uploaded it for the wrong day so thank you oh my god now it comes out

and i knew it at the time i'm not sure i can actually forgive you for that i'm really going to have to think about it that is terrible you like proper told me off oh what am i God, you're a terrible person. And do you know what else? You didn't even bother to upload self-care club. But today... Yeah, no. I went into Megaphone again.

Yeah. I went back. It's a regular. She's on megaphone on the rake. No, because I was ticked off. I came out of Megaphone. Tiped off. Because I was told off.

I came out. And then I was like, I actually do need to know how many shows we need to record. So I went back in yesterday. And I was like, hang on. We haven't got a self-care club going out on Monday. And I was like, I don't really want it was today. I don't really want to tell her. Why?

Because I'll get told off again. I've already uploaded it and it's in a different file. You just don't know about it because you know nothing about megaphone. So get out of megaphone. They're snooping in my business. But actually, you just haven't done your job. I'm sorry. Listen, I'm not sure I can.

But I was doing it. Can I just say? No, you can't. You have no excuse. No. You have. You have lied. You have betrayed me.

You have gaslit me. And it's all down to your own incompetence. Shall I tell you my meltdown? Yeah, your friend lied to you. Yeah, I thought I had a friend. Let's call her Nicola. Linda. I fell over.

I fell over on Saturday night. I fell. Now, I wasn't trying. drunk before you ask. I'd had one Diet Coke. I wasn't even in heels. I was in trainers. I was out for a local meal with Ollie and it was very, very, very rainy and I slipped when we were walking up the curve and I felt I properly fell. And he was like, oh my God. He was really shocked and he was like, oh my God, are you okay? I thought, I actually don't know if I'm okay. I actually don't know. I had banged my chin and I had banged like an R

I was like, no, I actually am okay. But it was very weird. And then I said to him, did I fall over? Or did I have a fall? And he looked at me and he was like, I think, I think we can say you fell over. I was like, okay. Okay, let's say that. And what is the difference?

Just age. Age. Because there becomes an age where you say, you have a fall. You know, she had a fall. whereas hopefully at our age you'd say, you know, she fell over. No, no, because at our age you don't really say it. No. I wouldn't feel the need to say to your mum, did you know that she fell over?

But it is weird. Falling over as an adult is horrible. It's weird. So horrible. But it also quite unusual because as a kid you fall over every day. Yeah. Three times a day. Yeah.

As an adult, you rarely fall over. I have actually still got a bruise on my chin. But the week before, Ollie had a fall. but well he's a lot older than you he was he's in his late 50s he was standing he was standing on a broken chair

in one of the kids' bedrooms getting a big thing of clothes out and he's only got himself to play but it was like did he tumble back literally the thing came out the chair tipped and he landed on the floor and then I was like

oh my God are you okay and then he started laughing I said why are you laughing are you hurt and he was like I'm not hurt I'm just embarrassed I said to be fair it was quite funny he said well maybe you could hold the chair and then I wouldn't fall over maybe just no I did hold the chair stand on a non-broken one luckily he was okay and so was I but anyway that was my moment it's 40-ish you fell over meltdown you had a fool you had a fool I fell over I didn't have a

fool I fell over okay was it quite shocking no it was Okay, it was, it wasn't, you know, as far as fools go, I've had worse. So you did have a fool? Because I fell off a bike once, that was much worse. That's not having a fool, is it? That's pulling off. I'm sorry, it's come to this. It's okay.

At least you didn't break anything. My God, but I thought, my God, I did this, like, in flat shoes whilst sober. What did you trip on? Upper curb. I was crossing the road, and I went up. upper curb and it was really slippery was it was it really slippery

the curb was slippery yeah the curb was slippery the pavement was it was all leaves and rain it was very slippery why are you laughing at my fault I don't know you laughed about my paddle group ignoring me

now I know why okay the listener meltdown are you ready for it hi ladies a true midlife fell for you i changed my hr t last year from a patch to a gel after i switched after i switched to the gel our male dog cooper who sleeps with us started to grow these really huge nipples i was so worried thinking he had some kind of cancer and it cost me a fortune back and forth to the vet having loads of tests only to be told eventually that i just needed to be careful with my hrt gel which had been rubbing off on him, Marina.

That actually grew bosoms. He grew bums. Oh, Cooper. God, that couldn't have been very good. Because I remember when my mum started on H.R.T. Well, he was licking her. Well, he must have just been in bed and it must have just rubbed on him on his fur.

I remember when my mum started on H.R.T. And she had the patches. And she said that some mornings she'd wake up and it was stuck to my stepfather. And the doctor was like, you know, you do need to be careful because that's not great for men. And also, because with that gel, you've not used the gel before, but it's very wet. And it does take, I used to put a hair dryer on my body. Right.

Because also when you're using like four pumps of the stuff, it takes ages to dry. Poor old Cooper. Poor Cooper. Okay. So that's just, I guess, a warning to anyone else who sleeps with their dog with gel. Be careful. Yeah. Or husband, be careful.

It's the same with testosterone. Is it? Yeah. What happens? Well, if you don't want that to, it's hormones. You don't want it rubbing off on anyone else. They would like start growing a moustache. And it won't be Movember for much longer.

I actually went up to someone in the gym the other day. I don't know why I said this. I don't know why I said this. Young men are so bad. All young men have moustaches now. All young men have moustaches. Like Benton Boone. They all have a llama hair and a moustache.

It's a look. Yeah. But I wanted to know whether he had grown it for Movember or it was actually his moustache. Why? Why did you want to know? Why is it your business? You know, now I can't do think that. I don't know.

Okay. Young guy. He was making me a coffee. Yeah. Let's call him the barista. What do you mean he was making you a coffee? He was a barista. Oh, okay.

He wasn't like just someone in the gym who you were like, make me a coffee. No. Where's he going to make me a coffee? He actually worked behind the bar. He worked at the gym. Fine. That's very, that's perfectly acceptable then that he was making you a coffee because that's his job to make coffees.

But it's also about his moustache. Okay. What did you say to him? I said to him, oh, is your moustache from November? He goes, actually, it's not. I'm like, oh. Oh, I have no. Oh, I have a life choice.

Oh, I can't finish that sentence. Oh, I have nowhere to go with it. No, and then I said, oh, I do see a lot of young men, because he was only about 20, all with, with a moustache. And he goes, you know, it's not for everyone. No. I'm like, no, no, I actually quite like it. Do you, though?

hate it it's it's trendy yeah but it's not for me and also what i kept thinking was would you like ollie to grow a mustache i would fucking hate it my grandpa had a moustache and i loved him weird thing i love both my grandfathers had moustaches but no beard i love them and i love their mustaches but definitely not it's a weird it's so weird think about it yeah it's weird like a hairy lip what is that the only man in the whole world that's ever been able to have The moustache is Tom Selleck. Magnum P.I. I know.

He looks better with a moustache than without. Agreed, but he's the, you're right. He is the only man. The only man in the world. With an acceptable mustache. Yeah. Not acceptable, sexy. Sexy.

Great moustache. He's not sexy in blue bloods because he's much older. Much older. But yeah, in like friends. Friends, I mean, just, just just just. Just. Just. Gorgeous.

Gorgeous. Yeah. Agreed. No, I love a beard, but not a moustache. I'm not into these young boys with the tash. I don't get it. or and if we were that age all our boyfriends would look like that

my daughter's boyfriend does not have a moustache no he doesn't does he neither to any of your boys you know why because they can't yet grow one why they grow loads of stubble on their face but they don't grow a lot of upper lip hair but I do wonder like if they

could if they would have moustache ask them I will they are the demographic ask them I'm going to ask them we have easy access to this you're right I'm going to ask That question tonight. Thank you. When I go home and reconsider my partner, my job, my life choices, my falling, my upper lip.

Thankfully, that's not an issue. I'm very glad to say because also, you know what? If you want to go into megaphone, just go into megaphone. Thank you. I mean, can I say I really don't want to go into megaphone? Sometimes you should. Should I? Well, now I've scared you.

Just to check up on you. Yeah. Please do. No. I feel like we've survived nearly six years with me not touching it and I don't want to start touching it now. It's your domain. Enjoy it. Knock yourself out. We will be back next week with a brand new episode of 40-ish. Please keep your messages, your DMs, everything coming in. We love hearing from you. Hello at 40ish.com.com.uk. And we'll be back next week. Bye-bye. Thank you.