40ish - Family Feuds, Gym Friendships & Hangovers

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Today on 40ish, Nicole has become friends with ‘Hogman’ - the weight-hogging man at the gym. The man everyone silently judges while waiting for the dumbbells is now part of her social circle. Protein shake dates can't be far away. Meanwhile, Lauren fails to make the connection between half a bottle of champagne and her hangover whilst maintaining a full-blown rant about Steven Bartlett's obsession with optimisation. Must we really maximise every waking moment of our lives? A listener shares a powerful story about how hearing Nicole talk openly about her perimenopause journey encouraged her to finally seek help from her GP. In Midlife News, we discuss new research showing that more than 80% of women experiencing menopause symptoms never seek medical help, despite the huge impact on their wellbeing and daily lives. Plus, one listener is facing a tricky family dilemma. Her husband has cut ties with his family after a painful fallout, but she misses them (their BBQ’s and heated pool) terribly. Should she continue supporting her husband's decision, or is it okay to maintain those relationships herself? Friendship, family feuds, menopause, meltdowns and midlife hangovers. Just another week in your 40s.We are doing a live show! July 5th 4pm London. Book your tickets here: https://podlifeevents.com/event-details/40ish-live-show-5-jul-2026-ticketsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-laughing-our-way-through-midlife-perimenopause-menopause--6942825/support.We love to hear from you! Get in touch with your dilemmas and rants.DM & follow us on Instagram   TikTokOrder Our Book here

Hi, Quazas, guess what? We, finally, I've managed to talk Lauren Intu, are doing a live show. It is Sunday, July 5th at 4pm. You can come, you can have tea and you can get home for an early dinner and bed. Or you can come for an early glass of wine and just hang out with us. It's going to be fun, it's going to be great, we're going to do the podcast, we're going to hear from you guys, you're going to be a part of the show, and we are so excited for it. Tickets are.

in the link below, just click and get a while you can. Hello everybody, welcome to 40. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Laura Michigan. This is the podcast where we tackle the chaos of 40-something life every week, diving into midlife, the news, your stories, your dilemmas, and of course, our own midlife mess. Don't forget, you can subscribe and have a podcast for early access and add-free listening across this show and self-care club. It costs you $4.99 a month. So come over there.

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to your most fortage moment. Excuse me. It says here, Hogman. And I know exactly who you mean when you say hog man. You're talking about the man who hogs the four kilogram weights.

We are now friends. With friends. Shut up. Yep. What? We're friends. No. For context of people that don't know

who I'm talking about, I have said it many times on this show that there is a guy in the gym. He always seems to be using what I want. Always. But we are of very different builds. So I always find out.

it interesting that he is always lifting what I'm lifting because he's much bigger than me. So and he holds the weight and he has them for like the whole hour. He hogs them, which is why his name is Hogman. His name is Hogman. Yeah. I actually found out his name today but I'm not going to say it. No. Now you're friends.

Now we're sort of friends. We're sort of friends because I made a joke a couple of weeks ago. Because I can only use the 4KG at the moment because I'm still post up. And as I walked in, guess who had the bloody 4KG, Hogman had the 4KG. And I thought, it's just so ironic,

what the fuck are you doing with the 4KG? You can't even do a lateral raise with the 4KG and nor should you be. Is no one's business to be, unless you are rehabbing, you don't look like you are rehabbing. Like, what are you? So I went up and I said,

have you got the 4KG? Can I, how long are you going to be? He goes, well, I say, look, I can only use the 4KG. I am post, That is, well, he goes, but there's other weights over that. I said, I know, but why is it that you and I seem to always have a need the same thing? I find it really weird because we don't look the same.

Yeah. So what's that about? What do you say? And he was like, well, you know, it's not about how much you lift. It's about form. And I'm like, I know, but your form is fine with a 6KG, I'm sure. Anyway, we had a bit of a laugh, a bit of a joke. Yeah.

And he's like, do you want me to go see if there's four KGs over there? I'm like, no, I want the 4KG here. Anyway, so that broke the ice. Right. And then a couple of mornings, I've smiled at him and he's smiled back at me. And now we have contact. Maybe he'll start sharing with you. Anyway, this morning.

Yeah. He was on the Smith machine when I walked in. The what? The Smith. It's just a piece of machinery in the gym. Why is it called Smith? I have no idea. Like Smith, Jared from the sex of the city.

I don't know why it is called that, but it is. Okay. Anyway. So he was on it. Yeah. There's only one Smith machine in most gyms. So he was on it. And I just thought, oh, I'm no.

going to get on that, am I? So I went over and I sort of looked around and there were no dumbbells and he's like, what do you need? What do you need? What do you need? I said, well, nothing's here. There's not even a bench free. He's like, I know it's so busy and I just thought, just get up. Anyway, so I went and then I came back and he was still, guess where he was? Still on the Smith machine with the four KGs. So I said to him, how long are you going to be? Because I've got one more set. He said, but the guy over there has already asked if he can have it after me.

I said, oh, there's like a booking system now. He's like, I would have saved it for you had you have asked. He's like, what else do you want? What else do you want? And I'm like, I want those that you've got anyway. We had a whole chat. And he's like, you know, I am the gym helper. I'm here to help you.

Really? If you were here to help me, you'd stop fucking hogging everything. But now you know his name. I think so. Presumably he knows yours. Because there's somebody, one of my friends, she listens to the show. Right. And I said to her, you know the guy that I talk about who walks the weight? She's like, yeah.

I said, he's in this gym. She's like, which one is he? Yeah. She pointed him out. She said, you know, I'm not surprised. Oh. I said, really? She goes, I am not surprised.

He's always here. He's always on the same things. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. So we're now friends. Well, I'm interested to see how this develops over the coming month.

It's the gym helper he calls himself. Jim helper. And I'm wondering, like, Like, will it ever get to the point where we are on such good terms that I could tell him that he has become a big part of my podcast? I believe that day will come. But can you imagine, like, if someone says, oh, you know that girl, she's got a podcast?

He goes, I really, has she? Maybe I'll listen to him. And then he's like, I mean, it's possible, isn't it? Very possible. And then it'll be really embarrassing for you, yeah. But do you think he, I don't know if he's got any self-awareness? So I don't think he has got no idea that he hogs the weights as much as he does. So I don't think there's any way that he would know that it was him.

Who knows? Time will tell. Yeah. Time will tell. So that's not my fordish thing, but it's just, I just wanted our date everybody. Thank you for that. Pogman is actually quite friendly. Okay, good.

Good to know. You now just needs to drop the weights. Yeah. And let someone else have them. Okay. Sharing. What's your most 40ish thing? I just woke up on Saturday morning and Ollie was like, you look a bit weird.

You look a bit, you look a bit, you look a bit funny around the eyes. You feel okay. I was like, I don't know. I just don't feel a minute. amazing. I feel a bit spacey and a bit tired. He's like, have you eaten breakfast? I was like, no, but I'm not hungry. I just feel a bit weird. And then we walked the dog and I was like, oh, I drank half a bottle of champagne last night. Oh, dear. I think I'm hung over. How can you not know? Totally bypassed me. How can it not know? Because I didn't have a headache

and I hadn't felt drunk and it just wasn't very obvious. But then I was like, oh, Oh, I'm 48. I can't drink half a bottle of champagne without feeling something the next day. And then it kind of struck me like, I have to remember. Champagne is the worst. But I can't tell you how quickly that bottle went down. It was just two of us and it was empty within an hour of opening. Who are you with?

My friend. I don't know how, why we drank so far. drank so fast. That's okay. It was great. It was lovely. But champagne is the worst for a hangover. Sometimes it happens so quickly with me that when I'm, whilst I'm drinking it, I'm hung over.

I can't, I don't touch champagne anymore. Champagne is long gone. I mean, I'm okay with it. But I just, I just found it really funny that I had not sandwiched the two things together. At all. You had? Well, it took me most of the morning until about lunchtime to figure out what I was feeling like that. But anyway, yeah, I felt very in my 40s in that moment.

Well, I fixed my tumble dryer. Oh, well done. Did you use YouTube? Yes, yours is much more glamorous. I didn't. Oh, what did you use? I used my common sense. What was it?

Because I can't, I can't. I can't. Because no one gives a fuck about what the problem was with my tumble dryer. I'll tell you later, though. But I fixed it all on my own. I ordered the part that it needed. What? part it needed and I ordered it on Amazon. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And now it runs like a

dream. I'm really impressed with that. Yeah. So am I. But did you have to use screwdrivers and stuff? Nope. And you know, because I would have got a me Lee engineer over and he would have said, oh, I've got to order a part. And he'd be, oh, I won't be here for three weeks. And it'll be like, well, then you don't have prime. Yeah. He doesn't have prime. He has to go through like the manufacturing. Because sometimes it comes by 10pm that day, FYI. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I would have had to have waited three weeks without a working tumble dry, wouldn't I, because he wouldn't have had the pot. Well done. I got the pot.

I got the pot. Good. Thanks. That's really, uh, I'm so happy with myself. Every time I see it whirring around and just working itself on the, the, the, the extra dry program and it not beeping at me and telling me that it's stopping. It just goes. It's the beeping. It's the being told off by your own appliances.

I don't appreciate it. Yeah, you know what? I don't need it. We had some feedback. It's from B. She just says B, the letter B. It's a little lengthy, so we've only got time for one bit of feedback today. Okay.

Are you ready? Yeah. Hi, ladies. Hope you're both well. I've listened to Forteage from the start, and before then I was a self-care clubber. I hope you don't mind me saying, but Fortage is definitely my tribe. Well, you're welcome here. Oh.

I'm in my mid-40s, and after this week's show, I wanted to share my experience. The part where you were discussing the lady in the hair salon particularly resonated with me. This was when she, the lady that I saw in there, oh no. This was the question about the lady who had dumped her friend who was a hairdresser and now she wasn't speaking to her anymore and she was worried that she'd upset her by kind of doing it by WhatsApp. Especially when you said, where are her tribe? That was me and you were my tribe. I was going through a lot of similar perimenopal symptoms that Nicole was raising when she shared her journey. listening to her crazy on the podcast

just made me feel so seen and compelled to go to the doctor Hold on when was I crazy on the podcast I don't know I don't know that's for her to answer I need to know that I am very fortunate though and this is the important part that I wanted to share we hear a lot of bad stories about the NHS and GPs

and I was so worried about going because I didn't want them to tell me I needed antidepressants or that I needed to lose weight my mental health was in the toilet I was becoming withdrawn, damaging relationships and my home life. I was frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, lacked motivation, zero desire for my husband and couldn't sleep. And my kitchen worktop had a chip in it from when I slammed down a utensil in a fit of rage. However, this woman is my tribe.

I eventually got my act together and called my GP. After one phone call, she prescribed HRT and I still have a monthly check-in with her. Estre Dial has been life-changing, although I'm still on the journey and have continuous support. there was no conversation about being overweight or antidepressants other than just continuing to monitor your symptoms and if we need to we can see if there's other support to give. Although a good experience like mine isn't guaranteed, the fear of a bad one should not put anyone off from approaching their GP. And if you do have a bad experience, continue to advocate for yourself. Speak to other women.

Look at changing doctors. I fear my friends think I am now a stuck record. Yeah, me too. Because I'm a beat older than them. I'm going through this journey first and I just want to make sure I'm being honest about what I'm going through to make it less scary for anyone who will listen to me. For many women, you are their tribe. So please keep fighting the good fight. Stay honest but upfront and keep telling us to get our act together.

Take care of yourselves, B. Thank you, B. Thank you so much for taking the time to write that lovely email. We really, really appreciate it. And I know what she means about being a stuck record. because a few of my friends they don't want to take HRT for a number of reasons and so every time they give me a symptom of

oh I'm not sleeping or I just feel a bit low or my anxiety is through the roof today and I really don't know why and it's all a bit of a mystery to them and I keep saying look I don't want to sound like a broken record but it's the menopause and now they get it and now they hear it.

But it's taken a long time for us to have that open dialogue and that open conversation without them sort of getting fed up with me talking about it. And I respect their decision. And all I'm ever trying to do is educate them and help them and support them so that they know where it's coming from and why they feel that way. What they choose to do with it is up to them. Most midlife women with menopause symptoms don't seek care. New research.

More than 80% of women with menopause symptoms do not seek medical help despite the impact on daily life, according to new research. The study surveyed nearly 5,000 women aged 45 to 60, finding that more than three quarters had experienced symptoms affecting work productivity and overall well-being. Conducted by the Mayo Clinic, the research found that menopause symptoms remained underdiagnosed, under-treated and inadequately addressed within the healthcare system despite the availability of effective treatments. The researchers said menopause is universal for women at midlife. The symptoms are common and disruptive and yet few women are receiving care that could help them. This gap has real consequences for women's health and quality of life and it's time we address it more proactively. More than one third, that's 34%. The survey respondents reported moderate to very severe symptoms.

Only about one in four women were receiving treatment at the time of the survey, while some preferred to manage symptoms independently. said they were too busy or unaware that effective treatments existed. You see, this is the thing. You do feel a bit like a broken record and you do feel like you're banging the drama and everyone's a bit sick of hearing about it. But then you hear that all these women say they're unaware that effective treatments exist. So they're suffering, their work is suffering, their life is suffering and they actually

don't know that they could do something and take something to be able to help themselves. I know that sounds crazy and I know if you're listening you're like oh my god will they ever shut up about this but women still don't know even though it's unavoidable no one not one woman

can just bypass this or miss this or not have it happen to them it happens to 100% of us I know it's really crazy yeah it is isn't it I spoke to somebody I'm going back a couple of years and I was in the thick of everything.

And she was 52 at the time. And I said to her, I asked her, are you on HRT? And she's like, no. And I said, why not? She goes, because I don't want to take it. I said, but do you know about it? She goes, oh, my God, I feel like I'm being in our day. That's too much.

She goes, don't you think it's just too much? We need to shut up about it now. And I didn't really know her. But I was really taken aback by that response because it's, well, I mean, for all the reasons that we say every week, on the show, but it's like, well, no, I don't think we should shut up about it. Also, why aren't you on HRT? Let's discuss that. I would like to hear your reasons. Is it because that is an absolutely

active, informed, educated choice? Or is it because you just can't be bothered? Or is it because you just don't know any better? Like, what is making that decision for you? Because I'm really curious to know. And if it is because you don't have the information, but yet you're being inundated with information then that the wrong information is getting to you in the wrong way. Like how do you get the right information to the right people? But I also wonder if it's one of those things like if I was hearing all of this at 40, I think I would have been a bit fed up with it. She wasn't 40, she was 52. No, but she was in it. But I'm saying before I was in it. Oh, I would be so,

but would it be in your face at 40? That's what I wonder. Because it wasn't in my face at 40. It wasn't, but I was still kind of aware of a conversation that was happening. I wasn't. But I wasn't really involved with it. I wasn't. You weren't. No, not when I was 14, no. But nine years ago, the conversation versus what it is now is very different. Or is that because we're in the space so much now? No, I think even five years ago it was different. Do you remember when I first started going through it and I said you, I've bought DeVina's book? Yes, I do. What was it called? Menopauseing. Menopauseing. Yeah. And that was my first sort of brush with the menopause thinking, oh, I think I need to

figure out what's going on here. And I read it and I was like, I was phoning you every five seconds like, you're not going to believe this. Oh my God. And I was like snapshoting pages and sending it to you like I was gobsmacked. The stuff I didn't know. I bought this little book, tiny little book called Preparing for the Perimenibles. Yeah. And I read it all and then Olly found it in the kitchen. She was like, what is this? I'm like, I'm preparing. I'm preparing. Yeah. Because it's a good thing to know. Yeah. If you're expecting a baby, you would read some books. Yeah. If I'm going to go through this big life change, I want to prepare. Yeah. But I hope that. 40 year olds now are so much more in the no.

I think so. I hope so. But according to this survey, they are not. Yeah. Just before we dive into your dilemma is a quick disclaimer. We're not doctors or healthcare professionals. If there's an issue you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Hi, Lauren and Nicole. I was wondering if you could help me with my dilemma.

My husband fell out with a close family member a few years ago and although they superficially made up, he no longer wants anything to do with her. He is also keeping the rest of his family at a distance as they provided this family member with more support than him and I think he was very hurt by the whole thing. My dilemma is that I miss his family. We were once closed and would have regular barbecues and gatherings. Also, one of them now has a heated swimming pool and I feel like we are missing out all the swimming pool fun because he is avoiding them.

My dilemma is whether I should continue to support my husband. and accept we will never be close with his family again, or ignore his wishes and spend time with them, I can't really talk to him about this because he shuts down and I think that's his way of coping badly, in verticomers, with feelings of anger and rejection. What would you advise? Thank you, A.G. I really thought about this question over the weekend.

I really gave it some thought about what I thought she should do. And I feel like he, we don't know what this row was about or whatever was going on there. But he obviously felt really unsupported. And hurt. By his family, right? So him just distancing himself from them is his self-protection, right? That's what he's doing to feel better about himself.

But also, she's now lost. Yeah, a community. Yeah, these people who she obviously enjoys spending time with and hanging out with. So that's really hard. But I do think that staying in the anger that he's in is probably an easier feeling to deal with than the hurt. Yeah. And easier to just be angry and just keep them shut out than kind of talk about the fact that he's very hurt by it.

Do you know what I mean? That was my first thought. And then I thought, what should she say to him? And I think she should say something like, I'm struggling with not seeing your family. I'm struggling with the loss of your family in my life because they were important to me and make it about you. and your feelings are not about him. You're being selfish, you're being unforgiving,

your right, that. And also, obviously you don't need anyone's permission to be in contact with anyone else, but I also don't think you should do anything behind his back, right? No, no. I think you need to support him and also help him to understand that you've lost something in this process.

That's my general feeling, it. Yeah, I think that's very solid. I mean, if Ollie or if Adam was to do that to you to me, like how would I feel if Adam, I'd had a massive row and falling out with my family and then Adam decided to go and use the swimming pool. Yeah, to go to a barbecue. The swimming pool is a bit of a red herring in all of this by the way. What she's saying is that they're all together and they're having fun and they're enjoying each other and she feels left out and she feels like she can't do that anymore and that is a big loss to her. I get it. She's lost her community. Yeah. So I understand that. But doing that behind his back. No. No way. It's a betrayal. I mean if Adam was going around for the

barbecue and the swim and you were not speaking to any of your family and he was around there having a good time. No, I think that's not okay. But I don't think she's going to. I think she just wants to know like how do I cope with my loss and help support him through his? And is there, is this just a period of time and maybe the hurt will subside? Maybe he needs to go speak to somebody about it so that he can find his way through it and maybe find a way to forgiveness. Not to forgive what they did, but forgiveness is always for yourself. It's not for the other person.

It doesn't condone what the other person has done to you. That's not really what forgiveness is. but when you're angry, it feels impossible. I'm not forgiving you. I'm not letting you get away with it. There's that narrative around it. But actually forgiveness is so that you can have some peace in your heart. Like I forgive what you did, and that makes me feel better

so that I can sleep at night, I can rest, and I can be around my family again because I'm sure there's certain family members that he would like to have a relationship with. He sounds very hurt and angry and betrayed. Yes. And I think that is the piece. that needs some support.

Yeah. And perhaps she is not equipped to deal with that. I don't know. I mean, I don't know how many conversations you two have had about it. Maybe you need to have more

and just listen. If I fell out with my whole family, yeah. I could not. I would not, could not be with that. I could, I just couldn't. Could you?

Like you'd had a massive falling out with your mom. No, I would be devastated. I wouldn't get, I wouldn't be able to rest. I wouldn't be able to rest. sleep like it would affect every part of my being no i would want to find the peace and the solution in the way through it but but i think maybe he doesn't feel like that he just feels like no

he's angry he's cut himself off that's that's how he's coping with it but is he coping with it i think everyone does things in their own ways yes but i i can see it from both angles but i don't think there's a situation here where you can be going around being mates with them all when he's feeling the way that he's feeling. Oh, not if you want to keep your marriage intact. But I also have empathy that you've lost this, this, his family as your community. You know, I have empathy for that I do too. It's like these things are so devastating. They have such, do such collateral damage, don't they? I would really advise to maybe go to some couples counseling and figure it out. Yeah, maybe. Oh no. I don't, I think these things get so,

they're so complicated and they're so murky and there's so many feelings and emotions involved that it's very hard to cut through all of that and see whose is what. Well, she says he doesn't want to talk about it, he shuts down. But that's why they're... I would say keep all the conversations about how you're feeling and then hopefully he might open up a little bit if he's not feeling kind of put in a corner about it. And your meltdown looks fantastic and I am desperate to jump in. into this.

Okay. My meltdown is Stephen Bartlett. Is it about the three glasses of wine? Yes, it is. And not being fully optimised. Yes, it is. And how it ruined three days of his life. It's precisely about that.

Let me just quote to you what he said, right? Oh, I know what he said. It has been all over. I mean, you'd have to live under a rock to not know this story. He ruined an inadvertent commercial commas three days of his life after drinking a few glasses of wine. He's given up booze. He indulged once and then unfeld a litany of horrific

knock on effects. I got worse sleep that night. Then because I got worse sleep, I ate more poorly the next day because my dopamine system or whatever, the cortisol system was all messed up. I didn't go to the gym that day or the day after because I felt bad.

Then I slept worse. And then the worst bit, I podcasted worse. Is podcasted an adverb now? A verb? Is that a thing? I podcasted worse. Is that?

I mean, I would like to say, so I did the half bottle of champagne that was on Friday. Last night I was at a very big party and I drank. Yes, I drank and I danced and I had fun and I laughed and I was with all my family and my feet hurt from the dancing and I've got a random bruise on my hand from a big bangle clonking against me and it was sweaty and hot and I danced with my kids and I had the best fun. and am I fully optimized today? Probably not. But also, fuck off, Stephen Bartlett.

You're such a cockwumble. Like, what is his problem? This man, has he ever, like, had the flu, made a pat lunch, sent a kid on a school trip, had to go to work, worried if the school uniforms are dry, worried about what's in the fridge for dinner. Has he finished? This guy, he's not married, he has no children, he only has to think about his. himself, just fuck off. Like, it's so, there's something so desperately sad and tragically boring about self-optimising

every fucking second of your life. That is my rant. You know the guy who takes the platelets from his own son and injects them into his body so that he can stay young forever? Do you know that guy? No. He's like the self-optimizing king. of the world. He also, I'm not

joking and I haven't made this up, measures his penis during the night in the morning to see if it's still like doing things at night to check his optimization. These people are not living life. They're not living. They're looking at their aura ring to check if everything's

optimized. Life isn't about self-optimization. It's about living. Well, it is to them. But that's not living. In your opinion. It's not living. Why? Why? Because it's pathetic. There's no joy.

It is the most joyless existence. Not to you. Where's the joy? In tracking your life, where's the joy? But if that brings someone happiness and joy knowing about the data of how their body works and what's the problem? Tell me if that's bringing him happiness. I don't know him. It can't be.

Why is it winding you up? Why is it winding you up so much? Because I find it so. nose-gazingly, self-obsessively, narcissistically, dull. And no one's life is ruined from a few glasses of wine. No one's. He's not an alcoholic. By the way, he's been completely trolled for this.

Deservedly so. And I have been saying for years that that guy has been drinking his own Kool-Aid for much too long. And now it's like everyone else noticed. I noticed a really long time ago. this is not a man that I am learning things I mean I haven't listened to his podcast in so long because it's just all the same bollocks

it's all the same clickbait shit and it scares you they're lying to you about blah blah blah or did you know that if you walk outside you're going to get cancer or did you know that you know or you were wrong about

nature like it is scaremongering the constant scaremongering and actually he's got something like 12 million subscribers on YouTube he has got the most enormous platform on every platform and he has such a responsibility like I would hate to have that level of following

because you have got so much on your shoulders and I'm not sure he's very responsible with it. I agree. And I also don't think that he has really like lived a life yet. He's very young. He's very, very young. And there's been some amazing, amazing. Like self-optimized, don't self-optimized. I couldn't give a fuck. It doesn't

rile me up. It doesn't make me want to rant because I don't care. And actually I just find it interesting how people do want to like bring out the very best in themselves and all of that. Yes, has it gone to an extreme level? Sure, I don't want to live like that. It doesn't, it's obsessive to me and I have time. But he also, you're right. He only, he only, has to worry about himself and there are so many posts from like these working mums who have their startups or starting their own business who and they're like saying things like have you ever changed a nappy whilst you're on a work call whilst you're working to a deadline and then you've got to do the 3pm pickup and you've still got to do the work call once the toddler's in

the back seat and they're crying because they want a snack like no and you're breastfeeding through the night yeah like we're not fucking self-optimizing we're just living we're just living we're Well, we're surviving and getting through and making, you know, and helping a lot of other people that we're supporting get through the day too. But we can all, all of us, if we wish to. And we don't have a problem with alcohol, have a couple of glasses of wine and actually get on with life. But I think that this is like kind of the point of. It's the tipping point. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. second. Yeah. Hold on.

Like, as you said, it's so beautifully, you are drinking your own Kool-Aid now. It's enough. It's ridiculous. It's enough. Now, by the way, if I have three glasses of wine, I do feel shit for the next two days. You know I do. But you're 49. He's like 29.

Well, I think he's like 33 or something. But regardless, I will still have it. I don't say it ruins my life. But I also know, I'm just going to feel a bit shit for a few days. But why is that ruining his life? That's what I'm saying. My life is not ruined today. I'm probably not at 100%

but I'm totally functioning on every cylinder today. And I enjoyed myself. Good. And that adds to my life. But the thing is, is that if this self-optimization is something that he enjoys and that brings him joy,

that's fine. I don't think it does. I don't think he enjoys it. I don't think enjoys the word because it's not an enjoyable experience to look at your life like that. For you? For who?

For who? No one. For you. It's not living. No, no. It's not living. I'm sorry. You can't comprehend it because it's not living to you.

I'm not saying I want to live like that. I don't want to live like that. But you couldn't because you have other shit to do. I do have other shit to do. But also, if that's how he wants to live and he says that he enjoys that and especially is this platelet guy, if that's something that they enjoy, then who are we to say whether that's joy or not? That's up to them.

I still think he's a cock, And I stand by it. I had a day on Saturday where I was so anxious and so overwhelmed. Oh, was it Friday? I can't remember. I was on the phone to you. And I was walking the dog. And I bumped into my friend Haley.

Friday. Was it Friday? I was not okay. Anyway, so I've got to go. Haley's here. And you're like, all right, good luck Haley. So, and I saw Haley. And she's like, are you all right?

everything all right where where are we at today like she was taking the piss i said i'll tell you exactly where i'm at today i nearly burst into tears at the royal mail hub where you send a package back because the printer wasn't working that's where i'm at today okay i literally because you know what it takes for me to send a fucking package packages are a bit of a thing for you you're not a package send a backer i am no you hate it i hate it yeah you hate it every time i send one back it's like oh good big fat tick for me. And so when I was stood there and there's this royal male like locker thing

right by the park where I walked the dog and it wasn't printings and I have to oh it's just like it was that. There is no listener meltdown this week. Okay. Well we're going to go maybe drink some Zen Epictogenic coffee.

Yeah. We'll be back on next week. Yes, we will. Have a good weekend, everybody, and make sure you keep sending all of your stuff into us. Hello at 40ish.com.com.