40ish - FOMO, HRT & Bin Bag Rage

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

Today on 40ish: Nicole is just one more day away from her HRT implant and her husband is bravely counting down the hours until he can exist, speak, or inhale oxygen without being informed he’s irritating. (Stay strong, Adam). Meanwhile, Lauren and her husband enjoy the most middle-aged date imaginable: a couples health scan. Meanwhile, a listener writes in with her dilemma: She desperately wants to go nowhere and do absolutely nothing, yet is deeply offended when she’s not invited. It’s advanced-level FOMO that only midlife can deliver. And then, naturally, we arrive at bin bag rage. Because bin bags have one job. Splitting open on the clean kitchen floor is just rage baiting in all it’s glory.  Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adobe Acrobat Studio your new foundation. Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation. Grab your docks, your permits, your moves. AI levels up your pitch, gets it in a groove. Choose a template with your timeless cool. Next those two. Drive, design, deliver, make it sing. AI builds the deck so you can build that thing.

Learn more at Adobe.com slash do that with Acrobat. He's going to come with the flag. He's going to like stand on the kitchen bar stools like he's on the, the barricades one more day before Nicole's nicer so everything like shine no sheen and no okay good shine it's an e-in it could be either way it's like don't you do an a year old it could be either yeah is this just part of getting older or am i accidentally ghosting my friends into forgetting me i think i'm fine but also am i thanks tanya So everybody, welcome to 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman.

And I'm Lauren Mishko. This is the podcast where we tackle the chaos of 40-something life, diving into the news, your stories, your dilemmas, and indeed divulging our own mess and challenges of this wonderful decade that we are currently experiencing. It is a wonderful decade. It is. Okay. It is. Okay. It is. What if this is the good part? This is what my friend has. Haley always says. Fucking hell. What if this is the good bit? You know?

Okay. Anyway, here is where we discuss mundane nonsense, ridiculous nonsense. We figure out how to survive midlife all together, one rant, crisis and all. Meltdown at a time depending on where you're at. Don't forget that you can subscribe

on Apple Podcasts. For this show and Self-Care Club, you get early access, ad-free listening, across both of the shows and bonus content you won't get anywhere else. And you can watch the video every week on Spotify and YouTube or you can listen on any other podcast platform. And the last thing, if you've got something to share, big or small, we want to hear it all. So please do email us, hello at 40ish, that's 40ish.com.com.

Lovely. Thank you. What's the most 40-something thing that's happening to you this week, Nicole Goodman? I have got one more day until my estrogen implant. One more day. One day more. One more day. I think my husband is then going to come in for the crescendo.

He's going to like stand on the kitchen barstools like he's on the barricades. One more day before Nicole's nicer. Before she starts screaming at me wearing jeans on the bed. Yeah. That. That is where we're at. Okay. It's fabulous.

I cannot 2.45. I'm going to be there at half-past two. Like, I'm not messing around that. I'm going to get your pants down before I even ask. Stick it in, stick it in. Don't be shy. Up the dose. I don't care.

We're all good. Give me one in each cheek. Because I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I am losing my mind. I'm losing my mind. Firstly, we had to go to Apple because I had to sort out my laptop. Yeah. made an appointment. I don't know why you left that in my hands, knowing. You literally said I'm going to make an appointment at Apple with your phone in your hand and I was like, great, okay.

Anyway, we both are you like, do you want me to meet you there? You were so sweet. I was like, yes, please, I can't be dealing with this on my own. So I met you there. And I thought, they haven't messaged me. They haven't reminded me. It doesn't seem quite right, does it? No. And he's like, let me see your appointment at the genius bar. Anyway, so I went to find it and then I realized as I was looking at this, but can't we just say very hot shop assistant in Apple. Oh, they don't hire them accidentally. Come on. Well, it was a shame that he was only dealing with the appointments, wasn't it? Because he passed us on pretty quickly to someone else. Less attractive and less useful. Well, I don't even know how useful the attractive one would have been,

but it didn't really matter. That's true. That's true. It didn't really matter. No, did it? No. Anyway, I'd booked it for the wrong day. You had. So we were there on Thursday and I booked it for the Friday. It doesn't matter. We still got the appointment. And also, can we just say that I'm sitting here with a blank with blank in front of me do you see how there's a void in front of me and in front of you there's a laptop why is that well put my laptop by the front door did I actually bring it to work

no why would I do that that would be crazy no one needs a laptop who needs a laptop when you're recording a podcast with scripts on it no one no one needs that so she's doing it on her phone yeah if you've got your contact lenses in of course otherwise I would not be able to drive or see or live anyway the other thing that has happened is that I said to Adam so after the Apple

thing and you know what i'm not even beating myself up about it now normally i would like feel really shit about it and just think oh what the matter what is wrong with you but it's like one day more well you know what's wrong with you so yeah yeah yeah so um and then i said to adam the other day i just said to him i just i we're in the car we were coming back from paddle and i said to him i cannot even begin to express how every syllable that is coming out of your mouth is driving me nuts. Oh my God. Because last week you had to just stop him speaking. You're like, I can't listen to you speak, don't speak. It says just driving me nuts. What was he saying? It didn't matter. It was just the tone, the breath. It was the whole presence of him. Wow. And then I said to him, and I am aware

that it's completely unreasonable and unfair, but I cannot stop it. Did you understand that? He is being so brilliant. He's being so brilliant. I mean, I'm not saying he's like, oh, do you need a hug or he's not being kind or anything, but he is. He's just tolerating you. He's ignoring most of it, which is lucky because if he was playing into it, we would have a big problem on our hands. And he knows the minute that implant takes shape, he'll have his wife back. Yeah. Yeah. God bless HRT. That's me. Okay. Well, we, Ollie and I went on what I think it constitutes the most middle age date ever, ever. Yeah. We went to Marlabone.

Lovely. I love Marlabone. Yep. Not for lunch. Or coffee or a wonder. For a full health checkup. Top to toe. Blood's heart. The lot. Moll mapping. I mean, talk about sexy. Yeah. Is it sexy? You didn't do it together, did you? No, we were in separate pods. So we weren't even together. We did have lunch afterwards. That's cute. It was cute.

We had coffee. Lunch in Marlabone. You can't go wrong with that. Oh, it was so yummy. Yeah. shared. We had a great time. Oh, it was lovely. So you had a nice date? Yeah, yeah. But anyway, that wasn't the point. The point was, firstly, it's a very middle-aged thing

to go and have a health scan together. And secondly, what, the results of my health scam, as soon as the doctor said it to me in the weird sci-fi pod with all my results on a screen, you know, like that film. Are you dressed? Are you naked? No, you're in a, well, like, at this point, I was dressed. You were in a robe, just a robe and knickers for the tests, because they've got to put

electrodes on your chest and all that and look at all your moles all over your body. But for the results you are fully clothed. It was like that film with Tom Cruise. You know when he touches the screen? What's it called? Mission Impossible. Not Mission Impossible.

The other one, they're like the really sci-fi one that's set in the future. I haven't seen it because I don't do sci-fi. Anyway, it was like that. It was like there was my body mapped out and there was the numbers and the screens and it was so weird. Anyway, they test your grip strength as part of this because it's a very good indicator of overall strength, muscle, health, blah, blah, blah. Oh my God. How many times have I told you that? I brought that to the show before about grip strength.

Right. Haven't I? So she said, let's talk about your... No, no. You had no time for it. No. You had no interest and no time for it. No, we did because we talked about how it's important because if you're older and you fall, you've got the strength to grip onto something.

We had a whole conversation about it. I remember. I remember. Because I said to you, why is it important? And then we were like, oh yeah, because if you fall... Not we were like. I was like. So anyway, she says to me, let's talk about your grip strength.

and I sort of lower my head because I'm waiting for it. She says, what exercise do you do? What do you do for movement? And you want the dog every day? I said, I want the dog every day. Why you get expensive? For like an hour because I'm waiting for it. And she was like, what else do you do?

What else do you do? And I said, fuck all. And she said, interesting. You are amazingly strong. And all I'm thinking in my head is Nicole's going to be so fucked off. I said, what do you mean? She said, your grip strength. is 80% better than your peer group.

So they do women between the ages of 40 and 50, and I'm 80% stronger than... Can I say that when we did on self-care club, we did a week, a month of exercise back in the day, like a long time ago. And you were always strong then. You're naturally, you've got a strong body. Naturally, you're very lucky.

It's just pure luck. Yes, luck. Yes. Yes. You're lucky. I'm not pissed off. I'm happy you're strong. I don't want you to be weak and fragile.

You do nothing and you're strong and you do nothing and I do nothing. And she said to me, you know, as we age, I love it this doctor. I'm like I have a podcast on self-care and well-being so yeah, you're preaching to the converted. As we age. Well, she's not preaching to the converted, is she? Well, she's preaching to palm new nose but doesn't do anything about it. Our muscles decrease and you know, it's good to do some strength conditioning. Definitely not preaching to the converted.

And I was like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, I know. She's like, you could do some like body weights. Can I tell you something? Pilates. I just had an epiphany. Yeah.

A total epiphany. Your relationship with exercise. Yeah. It's the same as your relationship with Hamilton. Is it? Do you think? Do I even need to explain that? No, no, I will explain it for the listener at home

because they'll be like, how is that the same? Yeah. But you get what I'm saying. I do, yeah. Right. Yeah. You have got such a bee in your fucking bonnet about. not exercising.

You're such a bee in your fucking bonnet about not going to Hamilton. I'm not doing homework. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing that to go see Hamilton. I'm not this. That you're so caught up in that story that actually,

I cannot tell you how much it bugs me that you haven't seen Hamilton. Cannot even coach. And I was actually, hold on, I'm finished. One more day. Just haven't finished.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. It bugs me so much because not only would I know that you would love it. Yeah. I also know you would never admit

that you love it. I would. I would. I would. I would. No, because you'd go with a face on. I wouldn't. I would never see Hamilton with you.

I was actually going to say for our birthday, I may even cave and go and see Hamilton. Because we're never going to agree on a show. And I haven't seen it. Well, like, just, right, before you tease me. I'm not. No, I just want to get this point across. Yeah.

Okay. You're so in your story about why you can't exercise. You're showing your story about why you can't see Hamilton. Then now it's just a thing. And you're so stubborn and so dead set and you're my set. And this is, I'm not doing this and I'm not doing that. that actually it's just the same it's the same part of your character

that is driving Hamilton and the exercise and by the way both are self-destructive there's my rant one more day never know you're lucky to do a free for all I never knew that had so many layers that song it has so many layers much like your personality

Sarah she says morning Lauren and Nicole just wanted to say I live for 40-ish and self-care club podcasts, especially in these cold, dark days, you really keep me going. I'm a single mom working two plus jobs, 43 years old and perimenopausal,

with recently diagnosed ADHD. Oh, in order to work... Sal law. If that is, it's a lot. Sarah. In order to work, I need to listen to something and your podcast are my chosen something. So sweet.

They make me feel lighter and they put a smile back on my face. Thank you for being my friends and helping more than you know. Oh, Sarah. Sarah, that's divine. We're happy to be your friends. So divine. We're delighted to be your friends.

We've had more feedback. Do you want to hear it? Yeah. Is it about how brilliant we are? No. No. Then I don't want to hear it. It's good though.

Hi ladies. I've just listened to the episode where Lauren talked about finding photos in the loft and how after 25 years of marriage nobody's exactly lurking around corners hoping to catch a glimpse of you naked. Well, allow me to respectfully disagree. Oh. After nearly. I know.

after nearly 20 years, my husband is absolutely still on active naked patrol. Every time I get changed and he capses a glimpse of my boobs, he gasps like a teenage boy who's just discovered the internet. Honestly, it's exhausting. He is 51. I am 46. There is zero indication that this behaviour will be stopping anytime soon. I know, I should be flattered and I am. But sometimes a woman just wants to remove her knickers without triggering a full scale, hormonal event.

I love this. Also, I love this woman. It gets even better. Oh, I actually feel her pain. That is just so annoying. Also, I'd never heard that Billy Elish song before you played it at the end of the show. And I am

100% with Lauren. What the actual fuck was she made for? Winy, I absolutely love your show. I relate to everything you say and I'm regularly found laughing out loud with my headphones on looking like an unhinged woman cackling to herself in public.

Nicole, oh her name's Nicole. Nicole, we're all unhinged women. We're all unhinged women at this point. We're just going to do it together. Thank God. Nicole, can I just say, I feel like I'm talking to myself, I'm not. That song, I'm going to say it again,

it won an Oscar. So it's not just me that thinks that this is an amazing song And then I swear to you, my daughter's been asked to be in some concert, she's a singer. And she said, I think I'm going to sing. I swear to you, I think I'm going to sing Billy Eilish. Oh, no. I was driving. And I literally stopped the car.

And I'm like, are you actually going to sing what was I made for? She's like, yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about it because she's a soprano. And I'm like, can you sing that sort of song? She says, Mom, she's a soprano. I'm like, if you sing that song, I don't think I'm ever going to recover. You better get that implant in before you see that song. That sounds all I'm saying. Because I have to go and scrape you off the floor.

That song already makes me cry. Watching her sing it, I'm never ever going. No, you'll never recover. I'll never go over it. No, you won't. Just before we dive into your dilemma is a quick disclaimer. We're not doctors or healthcare professionals. So if there is an issue, you're seriously struggling with.

Please contact a qualified expert. Hi, ladies. What are your thoughts on this? It's from Tanya. I've reached an age 45 where I want a calm, simple, life, but I also get deeply offended when no one invites me anywhere. I feel like you've written this in. I decline most plans, not because I don't like my friends, but because I'm tired, it's dark, parking sounds stressful and I've already taken my bra off. You sure you have not written this in? I'm not Tanya

secretly, no. I think you are. And it's all just such an effort. But then I'll see photos or hear about plans I wasn't invited to and suddenly I feel weird about it and I hate that it bothers me because half the time I wouldn't have gone anyway. Right. Okay. She's got a FOMO. It's, it's, it's layered. I want to stay home. I want to be invited. Okay. I want people to chase me just enough to prove I'm still socially relevant. I don't want a busy social life. I just want to know I could have one if I wanted. I want the invite, the option, the illusion of being popular and then the freedom to say no without

consequences. Is this just part of getting older or am I accidentally ghosting my friends into forgetting me. I think I'm fine, but also am I? Thanks, Tanya. Tanya, I'm fine, but also am I. I think I need to read that about 12 times to get to the bottom of everything. I think you're just every... Do you, do you not relate to this? Yeah. I mean, I don't. I don't feel this way, but I feel like you do. I do relate, but I don't feel like I'm ghosting my friends, because if I am given a social invitation, nine times out of ten, I will say yes. And I can't really think of a time where I've just gone, no, I'm refusing to go because I have to stay home and watch traitors,

even though obviously I want to stay home and watch traitors. But traitors will be over soon. Yeah, but I don't want to be out constantly. Oh, I don't either. And you know what? This weekend, my oldest, who's a teacher, I said, what are you doing on Saturday night? He said, nothing.

I said, why not? You're young, good looking. You should be out doing things. You're young and good looking. He said, mum. You're too good looking to be at home. Yeah, you're too good looking to be at home with your mother. He was like, mum, mum, mum, I just be out of your mother.

just need to recharge my social battery. I just feel like I've seen a lot of people. I've done a lot of things. I've done a lot of talking this week. And I just want to be at home. And I got that. And I thought, okay, it's not just middle age people. It's just people.

Sometimes people need a little quiet, introverted recharge. But Tanya, listen, the problem is with friendships is that you do need to invest in them in order to keep them running. Because if you put no time and no effort and no energy into it,

Yes, your friends are going to get fed up or they're just going to forget about you a bit. Like, you have to keep yourself socially relevant. It's not anybody else's job to do that. It's like soup. You only get out what you put in. Soup. Yeah. Soup.

Yes. Soup. Soup. S-O-U-P. You only get out what you put in. Soup. Yes. How many more times?

I don't get the analogy. Well, if you put in water and some rancid veg, you can get a shitty soup. You can say about cooking. You can say about cooking. You can say about any means. Okay, but it's just, that's the phrase. It's like, so this is, is, is that a phrase? Yeah, it is.

You only get out what you put in. It's the same with friendship. And also, you know there are always those friends in your friendship group who just never come to anything. Every coffee meet up, every dinner, every, hey guys, let's go and do this. And they never turn up. I know, I don't have those friends. Or sometimes they're like on the group chat and they'll say like, yeah, that sounds nice, but they never come. Eventually, eventually when that happens over and over and over, you don't expect them to come and then you do something else.

and then people forget to invite them because they're just not a part of anything. They're not keeping themselves socially relevant. That's what I'm saying to you. It's up to you to do that. Yeah, it is. And you have to put effort in with your friendships, especially your female friendships.

That's what I'm talking about anyway. And if you don't put the effort in, they are going to be affected. You can't do all this. You can't do all this and not have consequences. This is at any age. Can I just say, Tanya, that I don't know if you're on HRT. It sounds like you're not.

She's 45, she said. Isn't she? Or was that someone else? No, no, that was the other lady. No, no, she said 45. Oh, okay. She's 45. Yeah. You don't sound like you're fine.

Does she sound like she's fine? She's not fine. She doesn't want to do anything. She gets fucked off if no one's asking her. Like, it sounds all a bit of a conundrum. It sounds very layered and complicated. It doesn't sound like mentally she's in the world's best place. She does say I feel weird about it and I hate that it bothers me.

Okay. I would say, Tanya, that go to a select few things or maybe just, just do it once a week rather than zero times a week. And also, who's getting together once a week? Not with the same people, but with different people. Like, have a social arrangement once a week. Don't leave it a week where you're not doing anything that's fun for you and seeing one friend. And also, if it's too much for you to be in a group setting or that is uncomfortable,

if you have good enough female friendships, you could say to a good friend, listen, I'm not up for dinner for eight of us. Can we just see each other? She's 45. Why is it too much? it shouldn't really be too much is my point which is why I don't think when she says I think I'm fine but also am I we're laughing and we're joking about it and it is funny and she's written it

in a very lighthearted fine way but actually no I don't think she's fine I don't think you're fine I think you either need to go and talk to somebody or you need to go to the doctor I do understand a natural inclination to hibernate in January and I think a lot of people feel like that

but I also know that complete hibernation does not serve me so I'm going out this Thursday day I've got a nice plan I went out like I always make I always have a plan to see to be doing something seeing someone and that's at least once a week

so that I know I'm doing something if I'm doing that once a week but it's good for you yeah but you've got your like paddle group in the morning that's what I mean so you might not need to do that in the evening oh no I can't my day starts at six o'clock

right okay you know this morning it was so busy had a coffee with Olly Yeah, you see you're socialising with my husband in the morning. Yeah. That's very unusual. But like there's always someone I'm having a coffee with at some point. Yeah.

But I think it's important. And actually when we did the friendship, we did our friendship mini series, didn't we, on our other show Self Care Club? And I don't know if I said this on the show at the time. But I do always look at my diary and make sure that I've got a couple of things in. Because I know it's really good for me. A coffee here, a dinner out there.

Don't you want to see your friends? Of course I do. That's what I'm saying. If you don't want to see your friends, that's mildly problematic. Yeah. And the problem might be with you or might be with your friends. But there's something awry. Yeah, but I think it's quite common at our age to feel to get a bit of like social anxiety

or a kind of desire to be a bit more introverted. I think those things are quite normal. But then start to feed themselves in a self-destructive way. Like it's the line of what is the line between self-beautil, preservation and self-destruct. And I think that is a very fine line and you might miss it. And sometimes what's something that can be, you know, like you said, oh, I want to sit home watching traitors eating licorice.

Yes, that sounds gorgeous and nourishing and lovely. Don't do it every day. But if you're doing that every single day for months on end, then it's not nourishing, is it? It's a problem. And you don't get any perspective. So it might be that you then go and see someone two weeks later and you have a coffee with them and they're like, you're okay.

Yeah. Because you're a bit, you see you're a bit off. And it's also good to do that. And also do that for your friends. Listen. Check in on them. Yeah. And if they're not okay,

I'd like to think that she's got good enough friends that they would be saying, are you all right, Tanya? Because you say you're fine, but are you? Yeah. Let them ask it back to you. I'm actually going to say it back to you, Tanya. You say you're okay and you say you're fine,

but are you actually fine? Because I don't think you are. And I'm saying that as your friend. Make a plan next week, Tanya, to see a friend and do something. It doesn't have to be like a big club night. Just do something. Like share it with them.

Yeah. And say, you know what? I'm not really feeling like going out and doing anything at the moment. And do you think that's some problem? And I'm struggling. How do you think I seem to you? Yeah. That sort of thing.

Yeah. My meltdown is this. Bring it. Right. I've been doing a lot of online shopping but you know like online browsing and not really buying very much. Love that. Put it in the basket. Forget about it.

It's it the next day like, oh my God, what was I thinking? Right. So basically, have you heard of this website comments? No. It's everywhere. It's all over my thing. It's all over everywhere, right? And it's like this looks like the best clothing ever and it's all quite reasonable price.

Is it like shine? No, sheen. And no. Okay, good. Shine. It's an E-I-N. It could be either way. It's like doing to an 80-old.

It could be either. E-I. E-I. N. It could be sheen or shine. Well, it's sheen. Okay, whatever. It's not.

a brand that I really need to be Ophay with. I know that. That is so middle age to get the name wrong, isn't it? I don't. How do you know you who haven't got the name wrong? Who's ever said it to you out loud? Do you know the owner of the company? Yes, I do. I know the owner. I know you don't. Yeah, I do. We're really good mates.

In China. Your best friend in China. He runs a really unethical business. I really like him. Your best mate in Hong Kong who you see it all the time. Anyway, what's it called again, your brand? She, no, comments. Comment.

Not my, it's not my brand. Comment. Comment. Comments. C-O-M-M-E-N-S-E. Comments. Oh, comments. Commence.

I thought you were saying, comments. Comments, like I'm making comments. Like, that is a fucking weird name for a clothing brand. Commence. That's also weird, but okay. Right. Also not the point. No.

Can we move on? Yeah. Okay. So, basically, Like they show you an outfit, right, on my Instagram. Shop now. I click shop now. And then they'll show me the jeans, but they're not showing me the top.

So then I got to trawl over this enormous website. And it was like, it was like a cardigan, a sleeveless cardigan. So is that in knitwear? Is that in vests? Is that in tank tops? Where is that? Search by colour. It's the only way to find this shit.

It comes in every colour. Oh, no. It's not on those websites. Everything comes in every colour. No, no. Right. So unhelpful. Right, 12 colours or something like that.

When you scroll to the bottom, does it say, style it with this? And then shows you? No. Oh, that's annoying. And then they just showed the jeans. So it's like, well, you're showing me something and it happens so often on so many websites that they, like, they, like you click into the, they'll show you an outfit. Let's say it's on Zara. It's a skirt and a top.

And you like, oh, I like that top and I like that skirt. And then they just show you the fucking top. It's like, now I've got a troll all over the Zara website, finding the skirt. It's so true. The skirt never exists. It never exists on Zara because. Zara is like some weird void of, I don't know, waste of time that you're never going to find that one item. And then once you've got it, it's never going to be in your size and it's sold out.

And I hate it. It is an online shopping error. Okay. That's your meltdown. Online shopping errors. No, because it's not good marketing. Because I would have bought both. Yeah.

But because they didn't show me both, I had the fucking needle and I came out the website. Okay. I mean, that may have done your favour generally. generally. I'm not feeling like it's top quality for a woman of your calibre. You don't know anything about it? Just the name alone. Commence. And you said it's very reasonable in a way that makes me feel like it's It's not sheen reasonable. Okay. Just H&M reasonable.

Although sometimes H&M is weirdly expensive on random objects. Well, it depends on the brand. No, like sometimes it's an H&M. And they have like 99 pounds for a dress. You're like, really on H&M? Yeah. The other day there with these shoes. I thought, oh, they're quite an £84. What the fuck? This is H&M.

You can't charge £84 for a pair of shoes. But if I was on Netterport, you're like, oh my God, that's so cheap. It's so weird, isn't it? If I'm in Primark and something's $25,000, forget it. Forget it. But if I'm in some was Zara and it's $25 quid, I'm like, Oh, okay.

Yeah. That is weird, right? You're so right. What's that about? What's that about? True. Perspective. Yes. Yeah.

Stay in your lane. Each shop needs to stay in their own pricing lanes. Anyway. I would like to find this vest top. Okay. But it gave me the needle and I came out. It's just inefficient. I also got the needle this week.

Go on. I was queuing for bread. I was in a bakery and I normally, I park the car. I don't pay for the parking because I am in. Please can I have that loaf pay out with the whole thing under a minute. I go in, I don't know what the fuck is going on on this Friday morning. They're like four people standing there. Oh, and can I also have...

Anything else? Yeah. Can I also have like three. Some pickled cucumbers. Millian bagels. Anything else? Oh yeah. Actually, could I also have some of that cultural?

Anything else? And by this point I'm like, oh my God. And there's two other people. And for some reason the people behind the counter, one is serving. The other two are like, gossiping. Yeah. And buttering some bagels.

Yeah. And I'm looking at them thinking there is a queue of fuckers in your shop. Your job is to serve. them and you are busy anyway. So I never do this. You know I am really quite good and British. Compliant. Compliant. I stand in that queue. You are. I mean, excuse me.

Excuse me. Do you see that loaf? I said, I have to go. I cannot tell you. It's one of my favorite things in the world when you snap. And everyone turns. And I'm like, do you see that loaf of bread up there? Up there on the shelf? Far right. I said, what time do you shut? She said six o'clock. And it was like, I said,

I have to go to a meeting now on the tube. Can you put that aside from me with my name and I will come and collect it later because I cannot stand in this queue for one minute longer. And she did and she did. And I thought, oh my God, I never knew this was an option. I never knew. You could just do that. Just say that, save it and leave.

And I just left and I was on time because I didn't stand in the queue. I was really proud of myself, my little meltdown. And you know what? I did go back at half past four after my meeting and got it and it was all fine. There was no queue. I said to her, what the fuck was that earlier with all those people? It was just ridiculous. And she was like, I know, you're very busy.

I was pleased. Why are you? Because I can guarantee they're talking about you in the staff room. I don't think they are. They absolutely are. I think it's standard. They absolutely are talking about you in that starry. I think how I go there every single Friday.

I am a regular and good customer and it is very over. And you are now a Karen. I am a Karen. They just keep coming in thick and far. I have completely lost my shit over something so small and almost embarrassed to say it out loud. Oh yeah, but say it, please anyway. Her name's Petra.

The bin was full, but obviously not full enough for anyone else to deal with it. So I did, and it split onto the kitchen floor that I just mopped. Oh, I really, yes. I know you are supposed to let small things go. I did not let it go. I stood there with the fucking apple calls

and chicken bones and orange pill thinking this is why people snap. Oh my God, it's like the film over again. Why am I the only one who lives here who can see with their own eyes when things need doing? You know what, Petra? I don't know. But it's the same in my house. I don't want advice, she says. I don't want perspective.

Got it. I want to be right. I want validation. And I want whoever designed bin bags that split to sit quietly and think about what they've done. Do you know what? Petra is right. A bin bag has one job. And that job is to contain rubbish. Yeah.

So the fact that they make ones that split that are thin. Should be ashamed of themselves. She's right. They are not fit for purpose. They should be ashamed of themselves. You know, sometimes you have to buy a rogue brand because your favorite brand isn't in stock. Or sometimes I have weeks where I'm like, I refuse to spend that money on Brabantia. Because I know that.

You buy Brabantia. You see what I mean? Some weeks I'm like, I can't bring myself to buy Brabantia. Bramantea. That's ridiculous. Because all I'm doing is paying money for literal rubbish. That's ridiculous. But then you buy a generic brand and then they split and you're like,

now I know why I spend the extra one pound on the Brabantia. I buy generic brands all the time and they don't split and it's fine. Some are better than others. Some do split. Yeah. But it depends if you put a sharp object in there, it's going to split. Doesn't it give you full rage when they split? I can't stand that.

I really hate it. I get it. Petra. Petra. Tanya. Lauren Mishgon. Nicole Goodman, I think the rage is nothing to do with the bin bag, okay? There's nothing to do with it.

It does a bit. Do I need to point this out? If you were 25 in the bin bag split, would you care as much? I'd still care. I'd still be pissed off about it. I would if I'd just mopped the floor. Yeah. Yeah.

Can't blame it all on 40-something life. Sometimes things are annoying. Things are annoying. In time of this case, maybe we can't blame it on midlife. But, you know, rage. Rage over a bin bag Rage Come on

We don't need rage over it No I'm just pointing out Listen I also have rage Look what I said to my husband this week That's not okay He can't even breathe That poor man

He can't He can't No God imagine if he had a cold He had to blow his nose He has got a cold Oh yeah Another cold I cannot tell you how annoying

This cold is I'm so annoyed That he has a cold It's so annoyed Even though you gave him the cold I didn't give him the cold Of course you did You had a cold

the week. How very dare you? What did you? I gave him the cold. Well, he should man up with it. Quite frankly, because I got on with it. I got on with my life when I had a cold.

I'm amazed that he has even dared to mention that he has a cold. He has mentioned it. One day more. He has mentioned it. Okay. He's mentioned it. Numerous times he's getting, when I tell you,

zero sympathy from me because I just do not have the capacity. I do not have the capacity for his car. This morning. This is absolutely brilliant. He says to me, you'll love this. He goes, I come in from the gym, or the dog walks, one or the other,

and he goes, oh, he got off his, got off his call, he goes, you know, he's speaking through his nose. And he says, where's the parasitamil? So I said, right, well, you know,

where the paracetamol. Same place it's been the last 15 years. One day more, okay? I'm just saying, it's one day more. I am rage for. I can't bear it. I have open my, you know, it's not rational. It is happening. Where the paracetismol, you just don't know where it is. He's not even asked me where the paracetismol is. All what he's actually saying is, will you please get me some and then make a

comment about how you feel sorry for me and how I'm just a baby because I've got a cold. Right. Yeah, of course. Obviously, all I don't know that. But then you go, I said, you know where the paracetistma is. It's in the same place it always is. And all I'm going to do is go into the cupboard and look for it in the same place that you would look for it. That's where it is. poor Adam so he says it's okay I've taken

some neuribol he's already taken the paracetamore I said so you've taken some parricet so I said you can't take any more he goes

I know I found that so annoying that's so annoying sympathy he's looking for you to say would you like me

to make you a cup of tea oh you look so oh you look full of cold would you like a cup of tea that's enough that would give you

that will buy you at least six hours I just call Maybe tomorrow From like 315 onwards I probably will be able to But right now I cannot No

Call Adam I hope that a tissue boxes in your house Don't have sharp corners Because I can feel you hurling one at his head Later today It's just you know The cold Colds are irritating though

In other people especially sniffing But I just got on with my cold Yeah you did You did Also you're not a sniffer And that can give me rage Yeah I think you should play us out

with one day more. Consider it done. And we'll be back. Rageful as ever. No, I won't be rageful with me next week. I'm going to be luscious and full of estrogen. Let's see how that recording goes. I can't wait. Hi everybody.