40ish - From The Archives: Nipple Tassels, Top Gun & Frozen Shoulders

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

We are taking a break over the summer holidays . In the meantime, please enjoy this classic episode from the archives. This week on 40ish: Nicole has embarrassed her daughter, Lauren is dressing like an extra from Top Gun, a listener wants to make a raunchy dance video for her lover and a woman has a very unnerving situation with her shoulder surgeon.  We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch  Email [e-mail]  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast   TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Online, in branch or on the phone. AIB, for the life you're after. Alad-Arish Bank's PLC and AIB Mortgage Bank, UC, are regulated by the Central Bank of Ireland. Dear Nicole, already weird, because everyone calls us Lauren and Nicole. Already weird. No, they don't.

It is. It's like saying, dear Deccanant, who does that? I'll demonstrate later for you with a banana. I don't think I want you to. I don't know what that means. Throbbing. Let me just say that again. Don't.

You don't need to. I have to go to sleep with one navy nipple tassel stuck on my left. Is it still there? Yes, it is. Hello, everybody. Welcome to 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon.

This is the podcast that navigates the challenges and absurdities for 40-something life. And we're going to solve all of your dilemmas. Or at least we're going to attempt to. We have been. We have been. Have we? I think so. We can only ask the people if they have. And people have been sending their stuff in, haven't they? Every episode, if you've just tuned in to us, we basically discuss all of your problems, your issues, your rants that you have very kindly shared with us. And we also divulge our own stories about the absolute mess of navigating midlife. Sometimes it's a bit embarrassing. It's often embarrassing. In fact, oh my God, you don't know what happened yesterday. What? I haven't even told you this yet.

spill it I was on our TikTok don't dive shock I won't dive shock you'd dive shock if I was on our TikTok

anyway I was trying to find out because we had one reel blowing up and I wanted did we yes

do you know what that means yeah I totally know what that means and basically it was so I was trying

to find out the insights because we'd had quite a lot of new followers and you can on our self care club

you can tap into the reel and it gives you insight and analytics. So I was trying to find that. Right? And I couldn't find where

analytics was. So I kept saying to my eldest daughter who's 16, where are the analytics? Where are the analytics? She goes, I don't know. Anyway, it kept coming back onto the real. You know how it goes in a loop? Yeah. And it kept repeating the same bit of when I say, oh, I love morning sex. When your daughter's standing behind you? She was sitting behind me and she just looked at me and she basically did like the

puking emoji. I'm not surprised. No. 16 year old girl wants to hear their mum saying that. That is just so awful. So awful. So I am so sorry, Daisy. Anyway, it wasn't the real I needed blowing up because sometimes her friends see these things. I know.

Because Skibbidi-Riz Ohio toilet is still going strong. And let me tell you now, even my 11-year-old's friends are seeing this real. That's had nearly 4 million views. I know. I know. It's a big thing with Jen Alpha. Yeah, but it's not you sitting there talking about how you like morning sex, is it? I think that's less embarrassing than saying skibbidi-riss-Ohio toilet in your mid-40s, isn't it?

I don't think so. I don't think so. What do you think so if you're listening to home? What do you think? We want your answers on that, which is more embarrassing. Saying that you like morning sex in front of your 16-year-old, I mean, that is just, I was lying, but I haven't even told my husband because I was so... Well, he's probably aware that you like morning sex. Unless there's someone else in the picture, he's the only one you've been having it with for the last 20 plus years. Definitely not.

Actually, and I didn't want to tell him because I thought, oh, then he's going to want to have it in the morning. Then he'll put the idea in his head, won't you? How are you this week anyway? I've made an executive decision. For both of us or just for yourself? It's just for myself,

but you're welcome to copy and join if you like. I might. I might, go on. I have changed towel day changeover. Why are you laughing? This is a big deal. Why is it a big deal? Because towel change day

used to be a Monday. You know why I'm laughing? Why? So middle-aged. I'm laughing because it's just tragic. It's absolutely tragic. You can say that it is tragic, but I have changed towel day

from a Monday to a Sunday. And now, when I leave for the studio to meet you on a Monday morning, I know that I'm coming home to fresh, clean towels. And let me tell you the best thing about towel change day is that when you put those towels

in the washing machine, you know that they can go straight in the dryer And don't tell me there isn't a small sexual thrill of opening that tumble dryer and knowing that all you've got to fold is towels. You know, I will say that there is a hit of dopamine when I realise, oh, it's only towels. That is fantastic. Yes. But I don't always wash my towels solo. What?

I knew this was going to confuse you. Why is this confusing? Sometimes I put underwear in with it. Sometimes I might throw in a pair of jeans with towels. No. Why? Why? Because it's an exclusive towel wash. It's on a motherfucking high setting. Yeah. Yeah. It does. Yeah. High, high, high. Tumble dry. Fold back in the cupboard. I haven't noticed whether I wash my towels on a 40 degree wash or a 60 degree wash. It doesn't make any difference. Well, they're cleaner. They're not cleaner. They're not cleaner. They're not cleaner. They're not cleaner. They're just hotter. Why they're cleaner? And also, I reckon my towels are the least dirty thing in my whole house. because I don't put my gym clothes, which are sweaty and gross and a bit smelly. They're not on a high wash.

My towels effectively are on my body once it's clean. Yeah, that's true. But I'm talking about like the hand towel in the downstairs loo, the towels that the kids leave on their bedroom floor. No, they're not so clean, I don't think. Anyway, I'm just telling you, that's the most 40-ish thing I've done this week. I've made an executive decision to change it. No one in the house even knows.

No one even cares. no one would even notice if the towels stayed the same unwashed for a month. Yeah, but I know. Mine wouldn't either. But I know. But why have you changed it from Sunday, Monday to Sunday? What's the difference? Because it's such a low maintenance task.

It can just be done on a Sunday, almost on autopilot. And then on that Monday morning, you've got the fresh, lovely, scented towels, clean, fluffy. You need a Monday morning to start your week off right. I really do. I really do. It's like you need a fluffy towel. You know what I need on a Monday morning? What?

I need a leg day. Okay, what? Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer. We're not doctors or healthcare professionals. This is just a fun space where we share our thoughts. Which could be totally wrong. So if there is an issue that you're seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert.

The title of this question is, and it came in on an email, a long email, I should say. He's put up, should I? Question mark. up with what? Or put up what. Dear Nicole and Lauren, already weird because everyone calls us Lauren and Nicole. No, they don't. Already weird.

No, they don't. It is. It's like saying, dear deck and aunt. Who does that? It already threw me. It's like saying dear saunders and French. It's weird. No one ever calls us Nicole and Lauren.

It's already thrown me anyway. I don't think that's true because I tell you why. Why? Because we are not as well known as Ant and Decc, aka Deccanant. And it doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter. When we get as well known as Ant & Deck, which I don't even think I want to be as well known as A&Dick.

Anyway. No, thank you. No, thank you. Then we could decide whose name comes first. I don't know why you have decided that your name comes first. Because it's alphabetically. So what? It just is.

It's five years in. You can't change it out. French and Saunders is alphabetical. Antin-Decis out. Thank you. Dear Nicole and Lauren, Midlife dating. Dot, dot, dot.

help needed. Okay. We get a lot of dilemmas about midlife dating. I don't know why, because we haven't been on a date with anyone who isn't our husbands for over 20 years.

So, I know. It's weird. We're fucking useless at helping you. But anyway, I actually think I'm very good. I don't. Call yourself out on that one. I think I give very sound advice.

Well, let's see what you say to this lady. Dating has changed and precursory turn-on videos in inverted commas, seem to be part and parcel of these relationships. Do they? Good grief. Sounds awful.

You've got to make a video. Precursary. Yeah. She's saying like it's just standard. He started with an amazing video just teasing and sent it to me. Who's teasing? Is she teasing? Him.

He started with an amazing video just teasing. Oh, just teasing. A teasing video. And sent it to me. See, we don't even understand anything. I know. And sent it to me just as I was starting my show. Shift. Shift is what she doesn't say.

Nurse, who knows. The timing was so funny and the video is just my all-time favourite. Oh, I wonder what he was doing with his teasing. We can make a good guess. At the time, I was a cute... My guess isn't a very nice thought. I feel like helicopters are involved, do you? No. I do.

It was like a hand and not much else involved. Oh, I see. What did you? Why a helicopter? Helicopters. Sorry? I'm sorry. I do have three sons. I have two daughters, so I'm in the dark here. I'll demonstrate later for you with a banana. I don't think I want you to. I don't know what that means. At the time, she says, I was acutely cognizant that I don't have anything to send back.

And at some point, he's probably going to want something. Because she was just about to start a shift as a nurse. We don't know she's an nurse. She could have been starting a shift at Greg's. So we've been at it. I don't feel like she's English. I'm not sure. Sorry.

So we've been at it. And he is an incredible lover. Great. Good for you. So basically. Where is this going? I don't know. So basically what we've been doing has been spilling across onto WhatsApp with more videos.

Okay. Of course, this is totally new territory for me. Right. I have sent him a body shot photo. Which she has... Which she has attached, by the way. She's actually sent us two versions of this body shot photo. Which my darling...

Love it. Yes. Love it. One of my darling friends in Pennsylvania has converted it into mosaics, which I also sent to him. He said he liked the sunsets, but the original is just the best. Oh, God. And he, wait for it, Nicole.

So she's, she's, she sent him a body shot photo. Her darling friend in Pennsylvania has converted it into mosaic. So every, like, pixelation is a tiny sunset, right? A sunset. Yeah. Yes. I'm sorry, I don't understand. I'll show you the photo.

Hundreds of sunsets, but when you put it together, it's her body. But when you look up really close, it's tiny pixelated images of sunsets. Isn't that like quite a big waste of time? He said. He likes the sunsets, but the original is just the best and admits to just staring at it, throbbing. Throbbing. Let me just say that again. Don't.

You don't need to. I kind of knew what was coming, she says. What we all do. We all know what's coming. And it's a tall order. Which is what? Right. Then she has sent us screenshots of their WhatsApp.

I know. She's basically, she's basically, she's a hot flash. She sent us screenshots of their conversation, right? Which I won't read you out the whole thing, but this is the bit of it that is relevant. He says on the WhatsApp chat.

She's shared a lot. I mean, she shared a lot with us. Bless that. Thank you for sharing all this. Sort of thank you. Maybe there's, he says, maybe there's a video you can make for me. You can keep it anonymous by keeping your face out of you,

just with the phone, filming it from a static position. or on a table. That would drive me wild, devil emoji. I mean, I feel like this guy, it's not his first rodeo. But he really knows how this is done. Sorry, I don't think this is anything out of the ordinary. I mean, they've just started dating.

They've obviously very attracted to each other. They're obviously having great sex. Isn't this palm parcel? But the details. You could film ecstatic or on a table or on a position or you could do it like this. Like, he knows what he's doing with this stuff. Good.

Someone needs to. so she says So this is the dilemma I am in Produce a raunchy video for him And I have no clue where to start I just couldn't know Now this is where it gets good Nicol Wait for it

If you would like to join me On this 40-ish First Into Multimedia Dating We could meet in a studio With someone who can teach us Provocative Dancing And get you Some epic and hilarious

Photos of Middle-Aged women trying to keep up with video dating trends. And she ends it with this. I am a size eight, eight and a half stone, a mum to 16 and 12-year-old boys. I'm 53 years old, but I look 40-ish and he's 38, and I need help. Okay, lady.

That is a lot. Right, lady. That is a lot. Let me just kick off by saying thanks, but no, no, no. That's a hard no. No. It's not even a soft no. No.

No. No. No. No. Oh. Just. Just wait. Just wait. Yeah. There's a lot here to unpick, isn't there? There's weeks' worth. Listen, obviously we're not saying her name. She's anonymous. She's anonymous. I mean, not only did she get, I'm not going to say it, but not only did she give us her name and her email address. She also provided her phone number so that we could set up this provocative dance thing. this woman sounds damn cool.

She sounds like at the age of 53 she is finding her her mojo has been awakened and good for her. Good for you. You know? Good for you. That's what I say. Don't be so judgy, judgerson all the fucking time. It's not becoming of you.

Would you like to join her in a provocative dance lesson? Can I just say we have done some weird shit at self-carey. Club. Weirder than this in doing a dancing lesson. Have we? We did cuddle therapy. We did yoga with goats. We were whipped by Russian men in a sauna. We were whipped by Russian men in a sauna.

Wipped. And then they chucked ice cold buckets of water over our heads. That was fucking weird. Right? We've done some weird shit. I cannot understand why this is where your line is. You know? I never really know where your

line is. I'm surprised it's here. Let me just say, this is the line. And I'm not crossing it. Ollie, I think, would very much appreciate a raunchy dance from you. Can I just say, Ollie would still be reading the New York Times while I was performing. Why do you read the New York Times? He enjoys it. Do you know, I once went to a hen night.

And there was a burlesque teacher there. Great. And she did a burlesque performance. and then she invited one of the women from the audience to basically be taught how to do a short dance and she produced from her bag a pair of nipple tassels. Everyone in the room was all like very coy and a bit shy and a bit like didn't really want to do it.

This was like my best friend getting married and I thought, oh, whatever. Like I've already breastfed two or three children at this point. I don't care. Like it's a pair of tits, there's a pair of tits. You've seen one pair, you've seen them all. It's true. It's so true. So I was like, oh,

do it because you know they're a bunch of women most of them are my friends I have very little to be embarrassed about so I stuck on the nipple tassels and she take the top off well yeah otherwise it would be very pointless having a pair of nipple tassels on okay just checking and I did the for those of you that are listening and that can't see this she's doing like a circular movement with her four fingers yeah because you have to move in a certain way to make the tassels and she whistled at the same time make the tassels twirls anyway I thought this is This is fun. This is fun. So I kept them on, went home. Oh, he was already in bed, whipped my top off. Can I just say, like, the glue? Yes. It's a problem, Nicole. Because that, I would be allergic. You would be so allergic. I would be very allergic to that glue. And I just can't imagine that a rash on my nipples is any much fun. I mean, he, I'll just say, he wasn't into it. He continued. to read the paper.

And then when I got into bed, I could take one off, but the other one, I could not get that fucker off for love or money. So I had to go to sleep with one navy nipple tassel stuck on my left. Is it still there? Yes, it is. 13 years on. So I've been down the provocative dance route. I've even had a lesson from professional burlese dancer.

I've performed it in front of women. I've performed it in front of my husband. No one cared. And I certainly don't need that shit videoed. Let me tell you something. I would very much care and I think I would be heavily entertained not for the right reasons

for all the wrong ones. And to see you do a provocative dance with nipple dazzles. I mean, it would be a killer moment. But we were on holiday. I was on holiday, I think, in the summer. And I said to you, Are you missing me?

both on holiday. Oh yeah, we're both on holiday. And you were being a bit dry on text, which you can be sometimes. She was a bit dry. And I said to you, because I like to tease you a bit, because she's very unemotional. So I like to tease her, sometimes make her feel really uncomfortable with really emotional questions. So I said, are you missing me? Come on. Tell me that you are. I know that you are. And you said, oh, so much. And I said, I want to see an interpretive dance of how much you miss me. No, you said, tell me how much you're missing me. And I said, what do you want? a fucking song or an interpretive dance and you were like, yes, I would love that.

I said I would love a dance. Next thing I know, about three minutes later, Lauren Mishgon has sent you a video. I'm like, oh, I'm all over this. She had done a proper dance. Proper dance sat on her sunbed. Yeah.

We'd like how much she missed me. Yeah. It was amazing. Thank you. And then about an hour later, I got another notification on WhatsApp saying, Laura Michigan has sent you a video. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm getting two.

And you'd gone to a different point. In the lobby, you went to the lobby. Yeah. You put your phone against a wall and you did another dance. And then had a go at me that somebody saw you. Someone caught me in the middle of it. And I couldn't pretend I was doing anything else apart from being 46 doing an interpretive dance

in the middle of the law. I just had to like style it out and pretend I wasn't mortified. But why were you doing it in the lobby? Because it was like really empty. It was like a section of the hotel. It's still a public place. But you kind of know what walked through that section. So I thought I'd be safe.

And I was until this man and the look like the withering look he gave me. Like you are a middle-aged woman. Why are you dancing like this and videoing it on your own? own. You're not even with children. And I just gave him this look like, yeah. Yeah. This is what I do.

And then I just wanted to die. Going a hole and die. You know what? I've still got those videos. I have still got those videos. Have you? Can we release them? No, we fucking can't. Please. On the back of this show. That's like revenge. That's like your version of revenge porn.

I wouldn't do it without your permission. break up and you release them. That is like revenge porn. There's no nipple tassels. They are so cute. There is swimwear, I think. Anyway, we're going to tell this lovely listener that... No thanks.

And also, thanks for the photos of your body. It looks fucking great. I mean... And I am all for you having an awakened mojo. Good for you. That's what I say. But we are not going to join you because we are very much married. Not to each other.

You did that like with the version of like, we are very much married. We kind of are. I mean, we have a joint diary. We have a joint bank account. So true. Two things. I do have a joint bank account with my husband. You don't.

No. Only with you. Right. Okay. I mean, I'm not saying I would be fine if you wanted to film a provocative dance with this lady. I'm okay with it. I wouldn't be jealous.

But also, no, I wouldn't. Yes, you would. I wouldn't. She would. I'd be fine with it. You wouldn't. But I'd be fine with it. I just, I can't help you.

I'm sorry. I have no advice for you. Apart from, don't stick on nipple tassels unless you are prepared to wear them for at least 36 to 48 hours. I do have a piece of advice. Oh yeah. I do have a piece of advice. I know we should have ended it there, but I do.

I think actually whatever you've been doing is already driving him wild. Throbbing. So just. I mean, it's working my life. It's working. Just carry on. You don't need our advice. You're just doing great as you are.

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EAB 1,488 euro. Standing charge PSO levy and exit fee supply. Valid from April 26. Rates and standing charge may vary. Details and teas and seas at energya.e. So I bought a new jumpsuit. I'm actually wearing it today. Very nice.

I've got a good collection of jumpsuits. But anyway, I bought this one. And I came downstairs the other morning and Max, my 20-year-old, I just walked into the kitchen. He looked at me. He went, all right, Top Gun? I said, yeah. I said, what's the problem? And he went, eh.

I said, I don't know why you're taking the piss because I am a fantastic woman. And if I wanted to be a fighter pilot, I totally could. And he said, mum. That is like defensive much? He said, Mum, yesterday, I had to help you because you couldn't get on a Microsoft Teams call. So the likelihood of them letting you fly a plane is minimal. And then he just walked off. I mean, that is a drop the mic moment.

I just thought, wow, burn. Burn. Can I say it's also giving. I want to preface this with I really like it. Thanks. And I really like it on you. Thanks. But it is also giving ghostbuster vibes.

Funnily enough, I don't hate that. You should Don't know Sometimes I think we just make the podcast Just to amuse ourselves You don't hate that I don't know why But I don't hate that

I'm totally down with the whole top gun Ghostbusters thing The problem is with boiler suits Yeah Right is unless you are Gonna style it in a way That is very Very street

Yeah Which neither of us are To speak for yourself I am very, very street. Whatever that means. I am so street. I've got my own cul-de-sac. I'm going to wet myself, which doesn't take much these days.

Look, yeah, you are many wonderful things. You really are. Thank you. And if someone said to me, describe Lauren Mishgon, what is she like? The word street is no part of the next sentence. Dear 40ish ladies, I've heard Lauren mention her frozen shoulder a couple of times. She mentions it every 20 seconds during the day. And I just had to email you with my story.

I'm 49 and a few years ago during COVID time I had the most horrendous frozen shoulder. The pain was the worst I have ever experienced. I should also mention at this point that I am completely. phobic of needles. I went to see a shoulder specialist. I had to go on my own because of the COVID restrictions, so my husband waited in the car outside. The doctor turned out to be a very religious man,

who told me that it was a very bad case and that his advice was to give me a cortisone injection, which he could do now. I told the doctor about my fear of needles, and I asked him if my husband could come in to hold my hand. he wasn't allowed but the doctor reassured me that he had many years of experience

and had performed this procedure hundreds of times I was terrified but because I was in such agony I agreed to go ahead Yeah good You ever had a cortisone injection? Yes in my shoulder Okay I've never had one

I know I'm scared I know this lady I know you know I've had injections and the MRIs and all of it I just chuck it all at me I don't care You're very brave

Street some might say I sat on the edge of the bed with the doctor behind me so I couldn't see what was going on or what he was doing. I was wearing a pair of dark green parachute trousers. I felt the needle go in and then suddenly, without warning, the doctor made a really strange noise and I felt a warm trickle on my thigh. I looked down and to my horror I could see a white patch of liquid on my trousers.

I completely froze because I was momentarily convinced the doctor had ejaculated on me. He told me that in 15 years of practice this had never happened before, but my muscles were so tight and tense that the needle had backfired and the contents had spilled out. And breathe. I knew he hadn't ejaculated because that would be really creepy. but wow okay okay he couldn't call anyone in to help because it was COVID because he was alone in clinic because of the restrictions I'm surprised they were allowed to be alone in clinic yeah I am too because normally you can have a chaperone he said he had to leave me to go to the medical storeroom to get more of the cortisone unfortunately he added

the needle is still stuck in your shoulder so I can either remove it and have to start all over again or I can leave it in. This poor lady! I told him to run, not walk to the medical supply room and get back as quickly as was humanly possible. In the meantime, I sat alone in the room with wet trousers and a needle stuck in me. Oh my goodness.

Feeling like I was in the middle of my worst nightmare. He returned and successfully carried out the procedure. I left the hospital and I walked out to the car. I was white as a sheet and totally traumatised. My husband looked at me, opened the car door and said, Why have you got jizz all over your trousers? Not are you okay? No.

Thank you for sharing that. And I'm really sorry. But can I just say that is a horror story, right? For every reason. No, but look at your little eyes. You're like, Bambi now. I'm scared. Because that doesn't ever happen.

Well, it did. But in 15 years, it doesn't ever happen. I've had a cortisone injection in my back many times, and I've had one in my shoulder. And if it gets worse, just know that an injection is a good option. I also feel like they really might not let me fly a fighter plane with a frozen plane. Could really set me back. Listen, I know you bought the jump. suit, ready to fly the fighter plane.

Where did you get the jumpsuit? MNS. Where'd you get it? Emines. MNS are not making fighter plane pilot outfits. They fucking are. Who else? If you were making for the British Air Force. Yeah, British Air Force, yeah. Then totally

MNS should be making. What, you'd go to MNS. Burberry. If you were working... It should be a British brand for the... For the Air Force. Yeah. That's fine. Yeager. Not Yeager. Not Yeager. Not Yeager.

Why? It's old. And also, you'd want someone to... Can I just say Winkleman is fronting the new campaign for Yeager? So it's like back in. Because they're trying to make it more hip. Well, it's worked. That is very...

Only on you. It's totally worked. Only on you. I've got the fringe and then I'm going to get the outfits. Then I'm done. Done with what? Well, then I just need the strictly... Can I just...

One second. Yeah. If M&S or if Jaeger is going to start... designing for the British Air Force. I feel like they would need to do a collab with some, like a Stella McCartney, you know,

some cool designer that can add an edge to it. I don't think fighter pilots need an edge. If Stella McCartney did arrange for fighter pilots, I'm in. You're going to go fly a plane? I'd wear the outfits. I reckon she'd do, oh, I've got it. Go on.

Stella McCartney and Adidas, they have a long-term collab going. And their stuff is amazing. Done. They can do it. Stella McCartney added us for the British Air Force. Yeah. I mean, you've got the British designer.

I can see it. And then you've got the sporting element. It's perfect. I'd like a Vivian Westwood twist. There's some sort of shoulder pad of that. You know what I mean? Hers is a bit more structured though. You could nip it in at the waist for the lady fighter pilot.

And then have like the really like pointy boobs. Yeah. No. No. that could get in the way of the steering wheel. Anyway, this poor woman, I do wonder if the injection actually worked. She doesn't say. Because it wasn't the point of the story.

She also didn't send photos of the shoulder. She didn't send any nudes. She didn't leave her phone number. She didn't want us to go and do some provocative dance class with her. No, she didn't want us to go to some needlephobic help therapy class with her. You see the other woman? Yeah, she was really bringing it. She's set a president now.

She has. She was full 360. She has changed the landscape. Was she fully immersed us in her dating world? Photos. WhatsApp screenshots. All of it. Her phone number.

All of it. I mean, I feel very immersed in her life. And I feel like the standard has now been set for what you're going to write into us. Let's not put that out there because, you know, there's a limit to what I want to receive. I'm here for it. Okay, you don't. You're, I'm the prudish one. Don't regret that.

I'm the prudish one. Okay. Well, when we get sent dick pics, don't say I don't tell you so. I don't want, I don't want dick pics. Okay, good, I really don't. I don't understand dick picks. I don't understand, but that is because I'm 47. I don't understand why anyone would want a picture of a dick.

I understand. I just don't get it. I do understand if you're a gay man, I really get it. Like, I can see how that would be appealing. Because it's appealing to you. Hold on, but I'm a straight woman. But no straight woman finds just an eyes. Why is it different for a gay man?

It just is. It just is. Because men are visual creatures, whereas women are more imaginative creatures. But no straight woman wants an isolated photo of a sausage coming in on her phone. No one wants it. There's nothing sexy about that. They are neither sexy flaccid nor erect. So why would a gay man want that?

They wouldn't want that either. Because they are turned on by a visual image. That is men like. I can be turned on by a visual image. Can you? Yeah. Of an isolated sausage on your phone. Not an isolated sausage on my phone, but I mean, I do like, I am a visual creature.

I like to look at something beautiful. If it's the whole man, including a face and a torso, and the sausage is there, I understand that more. But just the isolated image of a cock and balls. No. It's not doing anything for me. It's not an attractive image in itself. That's what I'm saying to you. No, no.

I'm agreeing with you. What man is sending that and going, hmm, she'll like this. No, but what woman is getting it saying, oh, I can't wait to have a bit of that tonight. I don't know. They're obviously some. I think we're too old for dickpigs.

They haven't changed, you know, since we were 25. There's just a sound bite. I think we are. I think we are too old for dickpigs. Maybe. I don't know. Do you know what? I don't need to find it.

I don't. We're not going to me. No. Okay. Please don't send us any. Just for reference. That is our show on 40-ish. Yeah.

Isn't it? Yep. We got a lot covered today. We've got provocative dance. Wow, we covered a lot of ground. Ghostbusters. The British Air Force. Who's going to do the collab?

Nipple tassels. I need a rest. I need a lie down. Yeah. I mean, I need a cup of coffee. Let's go and get one. If you want to be in touch, hello at 40ish.com.

dot UK please come and send all of your dilemmas or you can find us on our socials at 40ish dot podcast we are on instagram we're on ticot we're on youtube we're on facebook because we're so street we are on not we are everywhere yeah we're not on x twitter and we're not on x yeah x yeah and we're not on that other and we can't be shagged with threads so Bored. So boring. So boring. And what's Twitch?

Titch? Twitch? You're asking the wrong person. Twitch? You're asking the wrong person. Why is it? I don't fucking know. No, because we were with someone the other day and he's like some major celebrity on Twitch.

Oh, it's a gaming platform. Gaming. I don't think it's called Twitch. Don't know. Doesn't matter. We're not on it. He's like got millions of followers on Twitch, but we didn't know that. We're not honest, doesn't like.

See you next week. Bye.