40ish - Hemlines, hair dye and I’m “fine”

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

This week on 40ish Nicole is bored with her hair and toying with the idea of going full  Kim K platinum blonde. Lauren has gone back to school to receive an award - and apologises to her geography teacher for the infamous ‘ordering pizzas to the classroom situation of 1993. A listener is in a wardrobe crisis - can you wear a mini skirt at 48? Meanwhile a brave husband asks - when your wife tells you she’s fine, is she really fine? We would love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Go to ZOE.com to find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. You can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 to get 10% off membership. As a ZOE member, you’ll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. Use 40ISH10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I was gonna say. I've got an issue with ageing myself but I don't judge others for ageing. I like playing cards, I have you know. Great! So you're not judging me for this? No I am. Hi ladies, when I ask my wife if she's okay and she says she's fine, she sounds fine, she looks fine, but is she actually fine? I've got a lot for you. I fuck around with my friend, twatting around, talking about like Jason Isaac's processing penis. And uh... Hello everybody.

Welcome to Fortyish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Laura Mishcon. This is the podcast that navigates the challenges, the absurdities, the fun of midlife. Yeah. Every episode we discuss your problems, issues, rants that you've kindly shared with us. And we also share our own issues, rants, problems about our own mess of navigating or trying to navigate midlife. Yeah, that we do. Can I just say at the top of the show that so many people say to me when they ask, I've been to a party this weekend, so I spoke to a lot of people and I say, Oh, I've got podcasts

called 40ish. They're like, Oh, I can't listen to it because I'm in my fifties. Oh, I can't listen to it because I'm in my thirties. No, everyone can listen. Yes. This is an inclusive space. It really is. We've got 26 year olds listening. We've got mid fifties listening. There are lots of 26 year olds. You don't know that. Loads.

We had one right into us and she said she was 26. Where she goes, the others follow. You always do this. You always do this. Telling you. If we hear from one person, you just think they are representing a whole community of people. She is. Yeah. Anyway, the point is, is that we don't care what age you are. Just come and listen. Yeah. We're not ageist either way. Are we? No, you're

I paused because I'm ageist against myself is what you were going to say. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what I've got an issue with aging myself, but I don't judge others for age. Oh, that's kind. Thank you. We all feel very relieved. I was invited to my old school yesterday because I was chosen to be an inspirational alumni. One of 150 old girls. Old, being the opposite word. So there were 150 girls that got recognized yesterday. Yeah, we're talking like from the 1900s.

150 girls from what years though? All years from the beginning of the school. Oh, it's the first time they've done it. Yes. You were one of 150 girls. You were recognized for? My work in the arts. Your work in the arts.

Yeah, my work. Tell me about the other people that were recognized. What were they recognized for? Well, Helena Bonham Carter, her work in the arts. Are you going to start laughing? No, because I think Helena Bonham Carter's ring of recognition is pretty valid. She was like, there's a Harry Potter for fuck's sake. Consultant endocrinologist. Oh, there's a film director. There are some politicians, scientists, many, many wonderful, inspiring. How many other people were there in the arts? I don't know. Cause I only kind of hung out with my friends.

Did you hang out with Helena Bonham Carter? No, she wasn't actually there. Oh, she didn't go. No, she wasn't there. Um, but I was with another girl from my year and I hadn't seen her basically. Well, I hadn't seen her since we left school. And she kind of thought it was just a, an annual tea and she couldn't really understand why there were only a handful of people from our year there. And of course I wasn't there

for the annual tea. I was there for this ring of recognition. Yeah. This ring of recognition unveiling it's like in one of the corridors and they're on the wall. These huge tree rings. Like if you cut a tree trunk and then each ring, there's like a different name with the year that you left the school. So they sort of unveiled them and then someone had made cakes that were tree trunks and they cut the cakes and it was a whole thing. And she couldn't really understand like why there was only a handful of people from our year there because it wasn't a big reunion year for us. And I

said, Oh, I'm here because of the ring of recognition. Now it turns out this woman is, it's like a leading obstetrician in East London, working with like in very difficult circumstances. And she also does a lot of public sector work. She's every minute of her working day is saving the lives of women and babies. She wasn't on the ring of. She wasn't on the ring, but I was, she was like, Oh, what do you do? What do you do now? This is amazing. I was like, what did you say? I was like, oh, oh, I'm all to blame for you. I fuck around with my friend, twatting around, talking about like Jason Isaac's processing penis.

Yeah, I've been given an award, a ring of recognition for my work in the arts. I've been given an award, a ring of recognition for my work in the arts. That's how it is. That's how it goes down. I don't know what to say. I saw my old head mistress. So what did you say? You didn't say you twat about with me talking about Jason Arzul's penis. I said I actually, I heard some boggles and I wrote a book and I just left it. I just left it at that. Look, all of that is true. It's true. It's true. Factually true. You miss something out. You host an award winning podcast. No, I didn't want to say that because it was a bit too much of a flex when she's like saving babies all day long. But it's true. It's true. I

saw my headmistress who I haven't seen since I left school. Oh, tell me she doesn't listen to the podcast. I don't think so. She's in her nineties, but she was just fabulous. And she said, what are you doing now? I said, oh, I wrote a book. What's the name of it? I said, it's called, have you tried this?

Oh, I think I've heard of that. I was like, you totally have. Thank you for pretending. You know what? It is funny going back to school. I saw my old geography teacher who I am telling you was, she was like something out of Hogwarts, the most frightening woman I have ever come across in my life. She's very old now. She was quite old when she taught me. Now she's extremely old. She

was, she'd walk in a room and like the hairs of her arms would stand up. And she had a teacher that she was, she was my science teacher and she taught us geography. And she had a teacher. She was my science teacher. And she taught us geography and she said to us, girls, you'll wake up on your 50th birthday and you will remember the following. A contour line is a line which joins all places of the same height above sea level. And I repeated it back to her yesterday. I said, I really hope that's not the first thing you remember. I said, Miss Stack, I just want you to know a contour line is a line which joins all places of the same height above sea level. And she said, you see, I knew you'd remember it. I said, I said, firstly, you

were really scary and you terrified me. Secondly, I apologize that we ordered pizza in your geography lesson. And thirdly, I'm sorry. Did you order it from, did it have delivery then? No, there was a payphone, a payphone and we ordered it from Pizza Hut. She ended up paying for them because she didn't have a choice. I know. I said then thirdly, did you get in trouble for that? Massive trouble. I said then thirdly, I'm sorry that our class was so naughty that you actually quit as our form tutor and made another teacher come and teach us instead. Does she remember all of this? Yes. She was like, you were very lively. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, we were. Yes. But now look, now I'm a published author and an award winning podcaster talking about Jason Isaac's penis. And I saw my biology teacher, Dr. Paul. Also,

I can't even explain to you how frightening she was. She didn't look so frightening. I said, you know, you were very, very scary. And once you screamed at me in a lesson when you were demonstrating how to put carrot condoms on carrots, and I made a joke and you screamed at me and she said, I'm so sorry. Sounds like a stupid lesson anyway. And I said, Dr. Paul, it wasn't because I never got pregnant as a teenager. So thank you. See, you see, that's helpful. Yeah. So that was, that was my, that was my afternoon. We did it with a banana in an assembly. Yeah. It was an all girls school. Yeah. So it was mine. Yeah. Well, I mean, I remember it as an assembly. Maybe it wasn't.

Well, we definitely did it in biology with a carrot. She was not a fan of mine. She absolutely hated me. Yeah. But you know what? My kids always come and go, Oh, history teacher hates me. They don't. They just don't. Teachers don't hate their students. They don't. But it's funny when you see like the scariest teachers you've ever seen in your life. I'd love to go back to my school. It was such fun. Honestly, it was such fun. There was like a photo. Did the school look different?

Yeah, because they, they raised it to the ground and rebuilt it from scratch. So now it's this modern glass, fabulous looking building. Yeah, it was a shame, but also it kind of needed doing, but now it is so state of the art and the new head, she's not that new, but she's a few years old. She's younger than us. That freaked me out. Well, look, I've got a best friend that runs, there's a head of two schools, haven't I? Two schools. It really freaked me out. And a lot of my friends are, oh no, sorry, I've got two friends that are two heads. It freaked me out. Yeah. She was like, when I, when I graduated the school of 2000 and whatever, I was like, Oh my God,

you're, you're younger than me. And I had a chat with her and she said, you know, it's really funny. Whenever I speak to the girls who graduated in 96, she said, you're the loudest women I've ever met. Yeah, we were, we were, we were a personality filled year group. You're not loud. No, the all year was very, uh, lots of personalities. Yeah. Well, look, you've been awarded for that now. The arts. I got home and I showed Dolly the pictures because I took some pictures of the rings and you know, for me standing with my friend in front of the rings and like our whole thing. And he said, but what, what, what, what actually have you got it for? I said, my contribution

to the arts. Anyway, he started laughing till he almost cried. And then he said, you know, that's not, that's for me. I know. And he said, you know, I love that. He said, but I'm just not quite sure how society has benefited from you podcasting about sunning your butthole. I mean, he's got a point. He has. But I'm very proud of you.

He said, I'm very proud of you. Thank you. Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer. We are not doctors. We are not healthcare professionals. This is just a fun space where we share our thoughts, which could be totally and utterly, completely inappropriate or wrong. So if there is an issue that you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified

expert. Hi ladies. When I ask my wife if she's okay and she says she's fine, she sounds fine, she looks fine, but is she's fine. She sounds fine. She looks fine. But is she actually fine? Has Adam written this? It feels like some test that I'm failing. Thank you from Mark. Okay. No, she's not fine. No woman who ever tells you she's fine is fine. She's not fine. And also you're married to her so you should just know from the intonation of those two words I'm fine. Let's roleplay it Nicole. Let's roleplay it. I think I said I'm fine this

morning. Were you fine? Yeah I was actually fine. Why did he ask if you were fine then? I don't know. I came in from the dog walk. Yeah. He was sat at the desk. Yeah. And he said, hi. I went hi. And he said, what's wrong? And I said, nothing. I'm fine. Okay. And I was fine. Okay. That, that, that tone, I would also infer you're fine. Now ask me. You're, what would you want to ask you? Well, like if I'm okay. Are you okay? I'm fine. No, that's different. That is obviously completely different. Yes, I'm fine. No, you're not fine.

Yeah, I'm not fine. No, both of those are not fine. Okay. Give me your actual fine. Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, that is fine. Okay. Mark, does that make any sense?

Okay. I would like to say to Mark. Should I do mine then? Yeah, go on. So you've heard my actual fine voice. Are you okay? I'm fine. Oh, you're not fine. But as a husband, you should know from just the two words, whether the fine is I am actually fine, or I am totally not fine, but I'm saying I'm fine. I think what he's really asking, because he knows she's not fine, what he's really asking is why do we say we're fine if we're not? Because men are much more

straightforward, aren't they? In the main. So they're much more like, well, if you're not fine, just give it to me as it is so I can deal with what's in front of me. But if you're not giving it to me as it is, then I'm going to take it on face value and then I'm going to get in trouble. Yeah, so don't come at me later. Yeah, no, but they are going to come at you later. We are going to come at them later and be like, I can't believe you didn't know. It's like, but you looked fine. I asked you, I asked you, are you okay? And you said you're fine, but you're not fine. So how am I supposed to know that? Because you're just supposed to know. Because I know when you're not fine. And I know when you're not fine. Right so why don't they know? I don't know. Because I've known Adam a lot longer than I've known you and you just get it.

Yeah totally. Sometimes I can have a conversation with a woman I've never spoken to before and I can say one thing and she gets it. Can I just say sometimes you send me a three word WhatsApp message and I know you're not fine sometimes you send me a three word whatsapp message and I know you're not fine and you're not even saying in the whatsapp message, I'm not fine. And I can send you a whatsapp message that is about like anything and you'll be like, oh my God, you've got such PMT. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm not even saying anything rude. And then I'll just reply with when are you getting your period? Yeah, exactly. So I understand how when we understand the intricacies of this,

why they don't know if we're fine or not. Poor Adam, because it's Mother's Day coming up. I think it might be, I think we might have just had it by the time this is released. So it's next week. And we're recording this six days before Mother's Day. And he basically, because I've been keep saying to him at the moment, right? I just, you know, I just want you to think of me and I just want to spend time with you and that's all I want. Right? So now what he, he wants to make a very nice Mother's Day. So, Oh, I love him. He sends out on the family group, I'm going to make Christmas lunch on March the 30th. On March the 30th. Let me give it context. We all love Adam's turkey

and he does a great turkey. Right. But obviously he only ever does it at Christmas time, but the last couple of years we've been away, he hasn't done it. Occasionally my daughter asked him to, can you make Christmas dinner? Right. And he just hasn't done it. So he's, this is him being thoughtful. Yeah. Right. So he wants to make a whole Christmas lunch on March the 30th for you or for his own mother. Cause you know, you're not his mother. For me, for me, for me, the kids are my parents. Oh, okay. Right. So it's lovely to celebrate you and your mom on mother's day. Yeah. Okay. Nice. Got it. Yeah. So all I'm thinking is, cause I saw it on the family group and I'm like,

what's this? I'm not fine. What happened to a bunch of tulips? Also the mess. Yeah. That's, that's where, that's where my head's gone to. Yeah. There's so, and it's that interesting, like most women's heads would go to, oh, everything's going to be greasy and there's going to be a load of washing up. And I said to him, this is very lovely because I know he's being lovely. Could you just book a restaurant? Yeah. Can you book it now because they're all going to be booked up if you don't do it quickly.

So I said, exactly. Could we just go to a restaurant? And he's like, okay, but the thing is if I just book a restaurant, I'm worried that you're going to think that I haven't been thoughtful. And I just want you to know that I am thinking of it. Who is this Adam? Where did she come from? But I'm a bit scared. Oh, I see. He's scared of disappointing me. But now you've given him the permission to book the restaurant. I said to him, I don't care where we go. There's a lovely Italian that we go to down the road.

It's local, it's great. The kids love it. Everyone's happy. That is totally gonna be booked up already from the other day. I'm just saying, that's gone. That's out the window. Right, well, he's gonna try and get it. But I said to him, I don't need a grand gesture.

I just need to be with you all. And I just need to not arrange it myself. He goes, okay, so if I booked the Italian down the road that everyone's happy with, I was like terrified. Are you going to be happy? Yeah. I said, yes, I'm fine with that. No. Then I said, I am fine with that. Yeah. You see the difference? I do. I hear the difference. Yeah. But me saying, yes, I'm fine with that is, you are not fine with that. But I am actually fine with that. Yeah, I would be totally fine with that. So there you go. Okay. Nice. Does that help you Mark? I don't know. Hello everybody. If you are enjoying this episode could we please request that you

share it with a friend who you think could do with a laugh. We would be so grateful, thank you so much and also if you're really loving it please rate and review it. Okay Martin let's try one. Remember big. You got it. The Ford It's a Big Deal event is on. How's that? A little bigger. Ahem. The Ford It's a Big Deal event. Nice. Now the offer?

Lease a 2025 Escape Active All-Wheel Drive from 198 bi-weekly at 1.99% APR for 36 months with $27.55 down. Wow, that's like $99 a week. Yeah, it's a big deal. The Ford It's a Big Deal event. Visit your Toronto area Ford store or ford.ca today. I am so bored of my hair. I don't have a big 40ish moment this week, but this is actually what is going on for me. And it feels very middle aged because I used to change my hair all the time, all the time. I would change the cut, I would

change the color all the time. I have not changed my hair in years. Well, definitely since I've known you. Well, that's five, at least five years. It was a bit longer than it was shorter. Yeah, but that was a lockdown thing because I couldn't get it cut. No, then you grew it specifically. Because it was locked down. Oh no, you're right. Then you cut it off again. Anyway, I'm so bored. That's interesting because twice this week we've had comments on TikTok. One which said, wasn't listening the first time, had to watch again, so distracted by the smart clothes and the shiny, shiny hair. Oh, that's nice.

So there you go. And then another one. Smart clothes. Yeah. I don't know what we were wearing in that, in that. And then someone else said, just said, totally here for the fringe. And I was like, great. Thanks. It's about your hair. No, no. The other one was definitely about your hair. Well, you have so shiny. He said, you don't know that. You don't know that. I do. I totally here for the fringe. No, that was about me. The other shiny. He said, you don't know that. You don't know that. I do. I totally hit for the fringe. No, that was about me. The other one.

I mean, could I just say, right? I said to you when we walked into the studio, Oh, I'm really hungover today. And you're like, Oh, I'm not. I went out on Saturday night and I'm not hungover. It's like, all right, we'll bully for you. Because it's a shock because I've been able to drink so little. I'm bored of my hair. And you've come back with, with a

story about how somebody has gone on about how nice your hair is. I said they were two comments. It was about your hair. The second one was about your hair. He was so distracted by your shiny, shiny hair and your fringe. That was a different, that was a different person. What are you going to do about this change? You know what? I actually, I think I want to go blonde, like blonde, blonde. What will you do with your eyebrows? I will keep them. What do you mean? What would I do with them? You can bleach them. No.

Well you'll have black eyebrows and blonde hair. Firstly they're not black. Well they're very dark. Everybody who has blonde, fake blonde hair doesn't dye their eyebrows. No, they don't. No, they don't. They lighten them. No, they don't.

No, they don't. No, they don't. Are you, are you actually doubting me on this? You're doubting me on this. I am. I worked in hair salons for 30 years. So I've watched women get their hair highlighted and lightened for 30 years. Can you do some AI thing first to see what it looks like? I tried. That's what I've been trying to do this weekend.

I just can't see you. That you have to pay for it all. I don't want to pay 3.99. I'd much rather take the risk. I can't see you as a blonde. I just can't see it. I've got to do something Lauren. It's either that or I'm going to get a tattoo or I've got to cut it off. I won't change your hair. I hate to tell you. I'm just bored. I'm going to get a tattoo or I've got to cut it off. I won't change your hair. I hate to tell you. I'm just bored. I'm bored. Okay. Don't do anything drastic.

Why? I bet you were someone that never changed your hair ever. I mean, I have. I've changed the color and I've had it very, very crop short and I've had it in a bob and I've had it long and I've also had extensions down to my waist. So I've actually changed it a lot over the years, but then I just can't change the color. Yeah. I've had it very dark black. I've had it red. I've had it cherry. I've had it highlighted. Had it all sorts. Okay. Okay. Okay. No, I believe you, but anyway, again, it's about my hair. So I just, and also

because I was a hairdresser for 30 years, nobody ever wants to talk to me about my hair. You know how you want to speak to your friend about their like, what do you think I should do with my hair? Like that kind of thing. Whenever I bring that subject up, someone always, always makes it back to their hair. Every time. So I'm just saying, I'm bored. I'm having it highlighted later today. I've told him I want to go blonde. He sent back that emoji, you know, when all the teeth are showing like that. Yeah, I, I, I, I'm with him there because obviously I'm actually really scared of seeing you blonde. I don't know why I think it was just completely freaking me out. I'm not going to like tint it blonde. I don't know what tint means. Are you going to look like Marilyn Monroe is what I'm asking. You know when like, and I know this is a bit of a stretch, know when Kim Kardashian went really

blonde? Yeah. What like platinum and she looked fantastic. Did she though? I don't think she did. I think she did. And by the way, she did bleach her brows. She probably did, but she's Kim Kardashian. I'm just saying the average woman who sits in a hair salon getting her hair lightened doesn't touch her eyebrows. Okay. She can because she's Kim K. Well, because she's always going platinum. No, I'm not going platinum. I want to. You'll ruin your hair. I know. But you'll trash it. I know. Why would you do that? I haven't done it.

It's your shiny, shiny hair. I've got two, possibly the most 40ish things I've ever expressed to you. I don't think that's... Oh, wait for it. Because you're not even going to say it's 40ish, you're going to say it's not even 40ish, it's 60ish. Apparently I don't need to be here anymore because you just finished my sentences. I've been invited to join a group to play

whist. Whist. A card group. And you know what? Oh, you haven't accepted. I have. I am absolutely buzzing. Isn't whist a bit like Rummy? I don't really know the rules yet. There's bidding and there's suits. Isn't that bridge? It's not bridge. It's much, much, much easier than bridge. Cause I'm definitely too young for bridge. Who invited you? My friend. Who?

My friend Kate. Kate Medlin. Yeah. She's invited you to- Are you name checking her on the show? Are you outing her as a whist player? Because she's proud. Listen, I like Kate. I'm a big fan of Kate. I don't know why she's inviting you to this group. How does she not know that you are busy with me?

It's not like a day job. It's kind of like a hobby thing. It's not like, can you play Monday to Friday, nine till five? Yeah. I'm just going to, I'm just going, I'm just going the once because I'm not in there as a whole. There's like a gang. I'm not in the gang yet. I don't know if I'll ever be in the gang. How many play Wist? Four? Four. Yeah. And they needed a fourth today. Well, yeah. Well, no, no one's dropping out, but like, let's say somebody's not well or someone goes on holiday. Oh, so you like the sub? Yeah. I'm not ready to be part of it yet because I don't really know sub? Yeah. I'm not ready to be part of it yet because I don't really know how to play and I don't want to like mess up their game because

that'd be really embarrassing. So you're the floater? Yeah. Well, no, I'm auditioning to be floater. Wow. I may not even get the job. You're not allowed to play in the real foursome and you're not even allowed just yet to even float around the foursome. Well not yet. Now you just got to... Because they have to be able to tolerate me because you know, if you've got to spend all those hours together and also...

What do you mean all those hours? What do you mean all... I don't know how many hours it takes. And also... How long does Whistplek take? I've no idea. It can't take that long. And also you've got to know how to play.

Hey Siri. Oh no, no, we're not starting on that. Anyway, that's quite 40ish, wouldn't you say? Been invited to play cards. Well, been invited to audition to play cards. I think that's quite worrying. No, I'm absolutely buzzing. Are you?

Yeah, I love playing cards. Do you? I love playing cards. Since when? Since I was about eight. Why you? I love playing cards. Since when? Since I was about eight. Why have we never played together? I don't know, you've never asked.

Neither have you. It never occurred to me you would do something so mundane. I like playing cards, I'll have you know. Great, so you're not judging me for this? No I am. Hi Lauren and Nicole. I feel like I'm in a wardrobe abyss. Oh, I've reached that age where I simultaneously have nothing to wear and a cupboard that's bursting with clothes.

I fear you. I fear you. 70% of it is going out tops from 2007. Yes. Yes. 20% of it is clothes that will fit again when I lose weight and 10% of it is stuff that look great online on the model but absolutely shit on me. I'm scared I'm about to turn into an anonymous leggings and sweatshirt lady until I'm old enough to genuinely not care anymore. I've got the same wardrobe.

Thanks for coming to us, but currently I'm in a sweatshirt that's about nine years old. Some cargo trousers that your husband asked me if I was off to Afghanistan when I turned up at the front door. Hi, are you off to Afghanistan? I was like, no, just the studio. Why? Why they like army pants? They're like cargoes. Yeah. Camo. Yeah. Cargos. And then I realized that he was, it was being funny. Yeah. He was trying to make a joke. He was. Yeah. A wardrobe joke. Yeah. So I don't know why you're coming to him. I don't feel fully equipped. Do you know what I, I feel like, and this is probably a continuation of the hair situation, I feel like my style used to be sharper and better. But actually, as I've gotten a bit older, I can't be bothered that much.

Well, you say that, but today's get up, it's a proper outfit. It's like an outfit. It looks like, although you're not, it looks like you're wearing a full leopard print. Like, onesie. Well, I don't want to say onesie, because it's not like some fluffy number. It's like you're wearing a full leopard print. Like onesie. Well, I want to say onesie. It's not like some fluffy number. It's like a lycra number. Yep. Like a very, like a skin tight leopard all in one lycra jumpsuit. With a very, very baggy denim shirt over it.

No, because it's actually leggings on the top. It is. But they're the same print. So it looks like a kind of cat suit. It's supposed to look like that. Oh, looks like a kind of it's a set cat suit It's supposed to look like that. Oh, I see. Well, it does. What do you mean? Oh, I see it does It does look like that You like my outfit then today, I like no you don't just be honest I really do like it. This is your way of complimenting me. Is it I like it

Did everybody hear that? Did everybody hear how shit she is giving me a compliment? This is you liking it. I like it. Right. Normally, when you like what someone wears, you say, I like your outfit. I had to do this to my daughter. Like I said to this morning, I went out last night and had a party and she came down this morning. I said, how was your evening? Yeah, it was fine. I said, this is the point where you say, how was your party, mom? What did you wear to the party? Well, I had the same thing. So I was looking through, I didn't want to buy anything new. I've got so many clothes and nothing to wear. And I

know that that is actually factually incorrect because I have cupboards bursting of clothes to the point I've had to buy another rail to go in the spare room. Oh, okay. So you've got a lot of clothes. But nothing to wear. So what did you wear? I will. You're not, you're not allowed to say anything.

Okay. It's difficult on a podcast. Quite boring, but okay. We'll just sit in silence because last week I told you I couldn't fit into these trousers. I couldn't fit into anything. It wasn't last week. That was three weeks ago because you said I've got three weeks to get into these trousers for the party. Oh yeah. I wore the trousers. Great. There you go. That's what I wore. I wore a pair of sparkly trousers and this really, really nice vest

top that I like. That's what I wore. Well, that sounds like a good outfit. It was a good outfit, but you know, I still don't really have much to wear. So I feel this woman. Anyway, the point is, is that she's saying, you're saying why is she asking us? I'm saying I think I used to be quite stylish. I think you're still quite stylish. I think I've definitely, my edge has definitely softened. Okay.

Anyway, what's she asking? Like what should she be wearing? Firstly- Firstly she doesn't know what's age appropriate. She asks, can you wear a mini skirt at 48? Depends on the legs. I hate to say these things because wear what the fuck you want to wear, right?

And if you feel great and you look great, not even if you look great, if you feel great in it, wear it, rock it, who cares? Who is making up these rules? I personally wouldn't wear a miniskirt, but that's because I don't like my legs. I never have done. So it's just not my go-to. I just wouldn't bother.

I've only just started wearing shorts on holiday. I mean, I just also like wear what the hell you want. There are women in their fifties, mid fifties wearing miniskirts and they look absolutely amazing, but I feel at 47, I feel too old to be wearing that it doesn't feel To me you're about to play whisk. So you can't answer this question. I'm ready for the housecoat Right. I just licked the microphone. That's nice Really nice nice for the next person that causes Nice for all the people that comes into the studio. Also nice thinking about all the people who chat into this. Nice for all the people that lick it.

Mmm. Yummy. Delish. How does she update her wardrobe without licking? Also, and the clothes that she's keeping because until she goes on a diet and loses the weight, get rid of those. Get rid of those. Because every time you see them and look at them, they make you feel shit about yourself.

So that's tip one. Subconsciously. and also we've done a show on this. I can't remember what the show was over itself. It was minimalism. And that was tip one about decluttering and minimalism. It was like anything that you also there's a great tip. Oh my God. I've got a great tip for a great tip. There's this thing where you put all your clothes if they're hanging on a hanger facing one way and every time you wear it and put it back in the cupboard you face the hanger the other way and after like six

months a year anything that's still facing the same way goes because it means you never ever ever wear it so it's like a very I've got tops in my wardrobe that I have not worn in 15 years and every time I declutter my wardrobe I can't get rid of them why Why? Because I like them, but I obviously don't because I don't wear them. Right. Or it's like that sunk cost fallacy. They were very expensive. No, they weren't. There's a couple of Zara tops in there. I don't even know why I'm so attached to them. It's weird. They do say if you haven't worn it for a full year, get rid. By the way, most people are not organized enough on and remember which way the hangers like people just don't do that. You would, I know. I don't need to have a

whole discussion about it. Just saying that no, that's not a thing in my wardrobe. I just can't be that organized. So the simpler one is if you haven't worn it for a year, get rid of it, get rid of everything that doesn't fit you because it's probably not going to fit you. Let's also your clothes fit around you. You don't fit around your clothes. I say, as I went on a diet for three weeks because I couldn't get into a pair of trousers. So I realized I'm being a total hypocrite. I'm just saying that would be a much nicer way to approach it. Right. Let your clothes fit around you. Finished. Also, we are victims of the jeans and a nice top generation. We are. That was a Saturday night. Yeah, we are. Wasn't it? Isn't that what people wear anyway? My kids wear that. Jeans and a nice top. Yeah. But when you say to someone, oh, well you've got something

coming up, we go, what are you wearing? They go jeans and a nice top. It's not helpful, is it? It's so not helpful. And also I just, I don't feel like I am jeans in a nice top person anymore. I'm not, not that person. That's okay. Yeah it is okay. That's okay. You could wear jeans in a nice top to play wist though. I probably will. I don't know what the dress coat is for wist, I haven't asked. I hope it's house coats. I wonder what it is. Housecoats and a martini. And a cigarette holder. Don't tell me that doesn't sound absolutely dreamy. There better be a marble ashtray and some twiglets.

Joan Collins is the third person playing Whist with you. In my dreams. This is sounding great already. Are we helping this woman at all? I think we've given her some solid tips. We have! The hanger thing. No, the hangers. If you haven't worn it in a year, throw it away. Throw away anything

that doesn't fit you. Probably don't wear the mini skirt, but maybe if you've got great legs. Or not even if you've got great legs. Forget it. You don't have to look a certain way to wear a certain thing. If you feel great in it, wear it. Seriously. Okay. Okay. If you feel great and you are rocking it, wear it. And it gives you confidence and I'm all for it.

It, I would feel awful in a mini skirt, so I wouldn't wear it. But you look and feel great in a leopard print catsuit with a denim shirt on the top. So go you! Go you! Go you! Oh, that's brilliant. Okay, we're done. So that's our episode. Yeah. On being middle-aged.

Yup. I'm off to play cards. You're off to go blonde. Oh yeah! Wow, I mean by next week I could be, you know, feeling 85 and you could be feeling like Kim Kardashian. With broken hair. With broken split. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna dye my eyebrows.

Okay, don't. I don't think that's necessary. Okay, I'm scared. Why? I don't know, I just am. I just need to do something. Okay, you know, jump out of plane. Really?

I don't know. Wouldn't You prefer me to go blonde? No. Why? Because that's permanent. My hair is shiny. He is right. If you want to be in touch, hello at 40ish.co.uk. That is it, isn't it? Yeah. Hello at 40ish.co.uk, that's 40ish.co.uk. Please be in touch, we love hearing from you and we will be back next Tuesday with an Unfiltered. Hi I'm Grace, host of Redrum True Crime podcast. These cases focus on the true victims of crime. Why not jump in at episode 114, The Tragic Murder of Jasmine and Aliyah. The main suspect in this case gave an extremely bizarre interview to a number of press reporters whilst he was drunk and reportedly high. He speaks about an awful lot on camera and has

this completely inappropriate laughing and chuckling response when talking about the case. He may even have thought he was going to get away with the double murder he'd been accused of, but what he didn't know was that two undercover officers were on their way to catch him out and he easily and willingly took the bait. You can find us wherever you get your podcasts. Just search Red Rum True Crime. That's Red Rum, Murder Backwards, R-E-D-R-U-M True Crime.