40ish - HRT at the Pool, Menopause Questions & The Holiday Food Shop Fail

Episode Date: April 23, 2026

This week on 40ish, Lauren is feeling self conscious about rocking up to the pool with her HRT patch fully on display and Nicole has zero empathy. She’s too busy wondering what happens post-menopause. Who are you when you arrive? Do you get a badge? A certificate? A lie down? Anyone? Meanwhile; A listener has spent good money on a thoughtful, meaningful 40th birthday gift for her sister only to discover she has quietly flogged it. Rude? Practical or deeply offensive? This week’s meltdown is a masterclass in idiocy. Imagine smugly organising a full online food shop for your holiday only to discover you sent it to the wrong house. Somewhere in the UK, a very confused family is enjoying a fully stocked fridge, while you’re stranded with nine hangry people. Honestly, we need a moment for this. If you’re loving 40ish, share it with a friend. Get in touch! Email [e-mail] a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-navigating-midlife-and-perimenopause--6942825/support.Our website

Her perspective on being middle age changed, she said. Until then, she had worked in corporate jobs such as risk compliance and health and safety. Oh, God. No wonder she was having a bad time in life. Anyone, even a man, would be having a bad time in life dealing with risk compliance and health and safety. Is it done? I don't know. Sounds done.

I've done all this research and got all this information about the perimenopause. Guess what? What? I don't know about the menopause. You better start fucking researching it. Because fucking hell. Because I'll be like three years behind you, so hurry up, research it and then tell me. What happens now?

You don't listen. I do. I do. And I tried to talk to Adam about it. No. He was as helpful as you. I'm definitely going elsewhere. He doesn't even have a uterus that could be removed.

In fact, I think he was more helpful, if I'm honest. Hello, everybody. Welcome to 40. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast tackling the chaos of being 40-something. each and every week we dive into everything midlife. The news, your stories, your feedback, your dilemmas

and we bring you our own mess and marvellousness of navigating this special, special little decade. We're going to be out this decade. We've got to stop saying this decade. It's time of life. Because it's 40-ish. I'm like less than a year away from not being 40-ish. I'll be ish, not 40.

It's okay. You can be the ish and I'll be the 40. I'll be 40 and you can be is. Okay. Okay, I've been called worse. Don't forget you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts and there you get early access and ad free listening across this show and self-care club and you can watch the video every week on YouTube. And if you've got something to share big or small, we want to hear it. So please do email us.

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Don't ask me. Just make sure you're subscribed. So the episodes drop into your wherever you're listening very easily. And please do share the show. With someone that you think will love it, we need to get as many ears on this show as possible. We would be so grateful. What's your most 40-ish thing this week?

Nicole Goodman. In brackets, misses. Well, it's not really 40-ish, but can I just tell you something? completely obsessed by? Sure. Obsessed. Sure. I'm obsessed. I'm so obsessed. Like, I want them to, I want them to sponsor the show. Go on. Wonder skin. Oh, you had it on your lips this morning. You gave me a right fright when you opened the door. Oh, that's nice. No, I thought you were like going with some dark blue lipstick look. You were like, I was like, hi. No, you weren't like that.

I was like, no, this is new. Tried to be polite. Did you think it was actual lipstick? I wasn't sure quite what was going on. I thought maybe I've been away for one week and you've pulled off some new look. It's a new thing you're going for. I didn't know. It's a stain. Yes. I understand that now. If you have not come across WonderSkin, it's a makeup brand and they have like this new technology on so many products. And so it's a lip stain and you just, you put it on like a lipstick and it goes like purple and then you wipe it off and the color's underneath. And it's just gorgeous. I have bought, I have just bought my third lipstick. I don't think I've ever done that.

You're so into it. I am so into it. I've ordered the foundation. I've ordered the eyeliner. Wow. And I have ordered the gloss. You're sponsoring them yourself. I am so obsessed with this makeup.

Okay. I'm obsessed. Okay. I think it is great. I think it is, well, I mean, I wouldn't say it was cheap, but it's reasonable. And they do really good offers, and they've always got offers on there. So always check for the offers. and I got three for the price of two

and I got free shipping and I got this and I got that and I was like having such a wonderful time You're living your best makeup life I'm living my best makeup life and I'm telling you I am so excited about that foundation I cannot wait

and I think we should manifest them sponsoring our show Let's do that right now Oh come on I would be so happy Can you imagine getting a gift box from WonderSkin Well I haven't tried it but I'm very happy to

Yeah you'd look great in their lipstick I love makeup Yeah So fun My most fultish thing is not that fun. In fact, it's a little bit sad and I feel a little bit sorry for myself. And don't laugh at me because it's quite a vulnerable moment. Oh my God, you're already laughing when I'm about to share my vulnerable moment with you.

What? There is no way it's going to be vulnerable. It is. Oh my God. It isn't. It isn't. It actually is. Unless you've had a personality transplant, which I don't think you have, you don't do vulnerable and you definitely don't do vulnerable on a public forum. I am sharing this with you for the sake of all other women. It won't be some deep dark thing. It actually is.

It won't. I'm just going to tell you, okay, then you can react however you like. I was at the pool, I was in my swimsuit. As we know, I am quite new to the HRT game. It's not yet been a month. It's only been three weeks. Oh, no. So I was at...

Oh no. Did it come off? I was at the pool and I got up to go and get in the pool with Josh and Olly. And I was walking to the pool and Olly said, I can see your eight. or tea patches. I'd put them on my bum and I thought I'd put them quite high. But my swimsuit was obviously a bit higher cut than I had anticipated.

And you could see them. And the thing is, it says don't stick the next one in exactly the same place as the other one. Yeah. So, you know, a bum is only a certain size. Mine isn't. It gets a bit tricky. My bum is quite small. You know, it doesn't have to be on your bum.

Well, Elaine said put it on a fleshy bit. don't put it on the front, put it on a flesh bit, put it on your thigh, your bum, and I thought I'm not going to have it on my thigh, I'm on a holiday. You could put it on your inner thigh, or sometimes I would put it on my lower stomach. On your pelvis, anyway. I was running out of spaces. You especially put it anywhere, not near your boobs. Yeah, and a bit under the waist, basically, anywhere under the waist.

But I was running out of spaces on my bum to put it, and for various ridiculous reasons I'm currently wearing two. So he could see them. And I was, I just, in that moment, I felt so self-conscious. I was so embarrassed. And I was like, I said, I can't believe you just said that to me. You've made me feel really self-conscious. I was like, I'm sorry I really didn't mean that. I just wanted you to know that I, that you can see them.

Then I had to like put some dark twisted secret. But then I had to like put a towel around me, go to the pool and then get in and then get out. I did because I felt really. But why? I'll tell you why, because I felt really exposed. I felt really like anyone who looked would know what it was. No, they wouldn't. I just felt really self-conscious about it.

Can I tell you, when I see women's patches in the gym changing room all the time, I know granted I'm in a woman's changing room. Yeah. So it's very different. Very different. But when I'm in the spa and I see women and I see their patches on there, you know what I think? Good for you, you think. Yeah. I don't think you men are pausal, stupid cow.

You shouldn't be putting that on display. That would be very cruel. That's an eyesore. I don't want to see that. Like all of this stuff that we wrap up around it, it's like, yeah, she's wearing a patch because she's a menopausal woman. And you know, like, around the pool and there were lots of young people there. And I just felt really like, shit. No.

I'm 48. I get it. You know what I mean? No, I do. But you've completely framed it incorrectly. There's a very uninspiring 40-something moment. What's wrong with that? That only way, why do we not?

Why are we not allowed to have it on display now? It's like not allowed to have, you know, you've got to shave your legs and shave your, all these things that we've got to do as women. All these things, in the ways that we should be showing up and what we're not allowed to show. And I'm so, honestly, I'm so sick of it. I'm so bored of it. I'm so tired of it. Honestly, I think that's post-menopause view.

I am like literally have not got the patience or the energy for it. Be who you are and be how you are. cares if you've got a patch on. So what? You are happier, better off for it. So we landed really late last night, like half ten. We were at Gatwick. It's a long way away, Gatwick.

So, you know, we're all a bit of knackered. And there were three of us, and there were three blue suitcases. So I manifested for them to come quickly because I wanted to go home. And Ollie laughed at me, but lo and behold, they actually did come off as one of the first ten suitcases. Did they? Yeah. I said I manifested for that.

Why can't you manifest things for us? I don't know. I seem to only be able to manifest really small insignificant things. No, no, I tell you why. Why? Because I've been listening to manifestation book. It's the belief. You have the belief in it because you believe it will happen.

Yeah. That's why. I said they're going to come off first. He was like, don't be ridiculous. I come off last. I said with that attitude, they will come off last. You have to manifest that they're coming right now. And then they just came.

Anyway, they came. Amazing. Even more amazing, the Uber was like right there when we got there. So we're in the car. We are on the motorway. We are going home. It's like 11.15 at night. The phone rings.

Ollie answers it. Hello, sir. Do you have all your luggage with you? And I can feel my stomach like drop. I'm like, I know we have all our luggage with us. I've got my handbag and there are three suitcases in the back. I know we have all of luggage. Nope, we did not have all our luggage.

What we had was two of our cases and one of somebody else's. that came off quickly. Yep. One suitcase, which was exactly the same as the other two suitcases, but in fact belonged to somebody else.

Whenever I go on holiday and I'm standing at that carousel, I always think to myself, oh, I wish I'd put like a yellow ribbon on it or I wish I'd put, we used to have like Goodman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

luggage belts. Yeah, luggage belts. I wish I'd put that on because I can never, They're so nondescript our suitcases. We always had luggage belts and Ollie was really fastidious about putting them on. And one year I was like, oh my God, you and the luggage belts. So we didn't have the luggage belts on.

But when three suitcases come out, they're all matching and they're all like together. You know, and it's 11 o'clock. It's so annoying. You didn't go back. We couldn't. We were like halfway down the motorway. Anyway, so that this, what happened was this guy or this family had been standing at the carousel waiting and waiting and waiting for their case.

It's in the Uber with you. Which never came. Which never came. Meanwhile, there's one lonely blue case going around, which obviously our case. Whose case was it? Well, that was the big question. So this guy, Ollie was like, put the guy on the phone. So this guy gets something, he's like, I am so, so sorry we took your case.

Have you got ours? And we'll swap. And he said, no, they won't let us take it. Like when you can unknowingly take someone's case, but you can knowingly knowingly take bare. That's fair. So then we get this form sent through from Gap. Gatwick saying, and thank God this guy doesn't live that far away from us.

I mean, at least he's in London. So Olly has had to deliver this, hand deliver this guy, his suitcase this morning. And then Gatwick have said, once the man has confirmed safe delivery of his case, we will release your case to you and send it home. Anyway, I'm praying. Is it the dirty washing case? No, we all had our own cases. I'm praying, I'm praying, it's not mine, it's not mine, it's not mine.

So we get home, I'm like, because anyone checked whose case it was, it was Ollie's. He said, I don't care. I don't need anything in it. It's perfectly fine if I don't have it for a few days. And I was really grateful that he was so cool about it because I wouldn't have been cool if it was mine. No, because it would have your makeup in it and everything else. We always put all the dirty washing in one case.

Right. So if there is a case that's not coming, I always wish it's that one. Yeah, yeah, totally. I don't know if I have a meltdown. No. No. You had a big enough one on Tuesday, so that's fine. I did.

And you know what? Sometimes you just have to acknowledge when life is good. And life is good. And I am in a manifestation place. And actually the only way that you can manifest things is through appreciation and gratitude. So that's kind of just where I am. All right, Dalai Lama. I'm telling you, I am the Dalai fucking llama.

In your little sunny yellow t-shirt. Like a little rare of sunshine today. Do you know what I've been doing? What? Every night when I've been falling asleep. What? I've been falling asleep to sound bards. Have you?

Yeah. Is it nice? I am telling you. It is really helping me. Look, the kids have been off school. I've had a lot of teenagers in my house. And they're going and they're coming and the in and the out. And sometimes talk.

Daisy had friends there the other night to help us three in the morning. And I want them there and I'm very happy for them to be there. But also no. No. But also hop us three in the morning, no. No, I don't have a problem with it. I don't have a problem. Why?

Three in the morning. Shut up. No. But I don't need them to shut up because I'm listening to a sound bath. Oh, I see. So it's fine. They had a great time. Good for them.

I have to fall asleep in silence, so I can't do the sandbar thing. Anyway, I'm telling you it's helping me. I'm telling you it's working for me. And do you know what I am now manifesting? What? Do you want to know? Should I just say it? Yeah.

Because that will really help with manifesting. You have to put it out into the universe. I am manifesting that we reach 200,000 downloads a week. Every week. Lovely. Yeah. Why not? Or we should have those.

Sounds wonderful. Doesn't it? Yeah. I love that for us. No, but I love it for us. You have to manifest it. I need you on board with that. Yeah, I can't even manifest the right suitcase.

No, you did. No, they came quickly, but it's never as you think it's going to be. I placed the order, but I wasn't specific enough. That's why I've been quite specific. But then sometimes they're like,

well, don't be too specific and don't give a deadline. I'm not giving a deadline. But just 200,000 downloads a week, I think is very manageable and very doable. Before Christmas. Can you just get on board with that? I'm getting,

On the train. I'm getting on the luggage carousel. Great. Of manifestation. Yes. The correct number of big downloads. Yes. Yeah.

On the BBC News, there's a women's network for midlife well-being has launched. What do you mean in a network? Well, I don't know. A woman who challenged herself to try 50 new things before turning 50 is building a community to change women's mindsets around being middle age. Are we all doing that? No, we're not all doing that. Why not?

She's doing that. Well, we are, we're supposed to be doing that. We are, yeah. I mean, not everyone is doing that. No, well, they should be. Lisa DeLown, L-A-U-N-E. I don't know how to. Lisa DeLown tried meditation, solo traveling, learning to salsa and eating oysters

as part of her efforts to take back control when her life became tough. She said the difficulties included a hysterectomy, which brought on the menopause as well as divorce and endometriosis. That sounds like a lot. How can you have a hysterectomy and endometriosis? No, she obviously had endometriosis and the solution. I'm a weird combo. And the solution to her endometriosis was to have a hysterectomy.

Because let me tell you something. If I get endometriosis now. With no inside. After my hysterectomy, I'm going to want my money back. I think they should maybe have edited that sentence so that it was clear that she had endometriosis that was then cured by the history. Well, anyway, she's now 52. She's from Western Super Bowl, in North Somerset, she's created a support network called women in wellness. I think we should get in touch with her.

Holder, why is this on the BBC News and why aren't we on the BBC News? I don't know, but carry on. The group meets monthly and is open to those working in the wellness industry as well as women simply interested in their own well-being. That's us. That's just us. It's us. We're both those things. She said the first three sessions would focus on issues such as menopause and endometriosis. Okay, excellent. Yeah. Member Amy Haynes, 39 from North Somerset, said it had been a positive having a group to connect with where she can say actually I'm not okay. De Lawn said that before she turned 50 she was going through all of these physical issues around health, all of the worries with

separation and changing jobs. It was hard. There was a lot of uncertainty. But I was determined to not look at it in that negative way, she said. I'm good for her. I wanted to go into that period of my life in a positive way and take back control after completing her challenge to try 50 things. I mean, that's self-care club. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Her perspective. on being middle age change, she said. Until then, she had worked in corporate jobs such as risk compliance and health and safety. Oh, God. No wonder she was having a bad time in life. Anyone, even a man, would be having a bad time in life dealing with risk compliance and health and safety. I mean, wow. Shocking. I don't think it was the endometriosis that was the

problem. No, that was the least of her worries. Her terrible health condition. It was a There's more having to deal with a health and safety of a whole fucking company. Risk compliance. What do you do for living? I'm in risk. Can you imagine? That is like the worst conversation ender at a dinner box. Do you know what would be amazing is if when she left that job and then they hired me?

Because you know how I'm the antichrist of health and safety. And I do no risk compliance. I would be sacked within a day. Yeah, you would. I'd be like, no, it's absolutely fine. You're not going to die. It's fine. Bare flames everywhere.

No, why are you putting a fire? Hydezner going to be no fire. You'll either die or get better. Take your pick. What do you mean all the sharp knives should be put away? Leave them out. What's the worst that can happen? So you'll cut a finger off.

You've got nine more. You're not going to die. You wouldn't get the job. I could really fudge it and get the job. You would not get the job in risk complies. Stop it. I would go in bubble wrap and be like, I am very risked vows. But the thing is, you are.

That's the funny thing You wouldn't whiten your teeth Because you were scared I would They were going to be all sensitive I understand It's too risky But like

And then you're like Oh no it's fine I can park here It's a double yellow And it's Tuesday at 11am It's fine I think the words you're looking for Is inconsistent

Yeah You really are Anyway Yeah Risk and health and safety Yeah Thank God she left that job He already saved her life

She realized She wanted to inspire other women to change their mindset and look after their well being good for her well we're all doing well we're not all you me and her but not everyone some people are like doing other jobs we're a trio now she doesn't realize that so as well as the women in well-being network she launched a business called 50 firsts wellness yeah first it's plural you try saying that 50 firsts yeah okay wellness wellness I'm sorry, I don't know why. Dot com.

Say it again. Fifty firsts wellness. I'm not loving. It doesn't slide off the tongue. No. Offering services such as coaching. Yeah. Well, you could do that.

No, I can't. You can. You're a trained coach. I'm not training sessions and workshops. We can do that. We can do some workshops for her. The whole turmoil at that time, now that I've reflected. She's in Somerset, by the way.

Somerset's beautiful. I'm sure it is, but it's also not very near. That's okay. We can get on a train. we can have a lovely time. We get a press a monget sandwich and a coffee will be so happy. Yeah. I won't bring a magazine because you'll get offended.

If I can have a tuna baguette, I'm all yours. Now that I'm post-menopausal, like I don't really understand what's going to happen. In terms of what? Anything. Well, you've got no insides now because they've taken them out. So nothing's going to... I'm actually feeling a bit sad about that. Nothing's going to happen in that department.

There'll be no period. There'll be no endometriosis. That's for sure. There'll be no risk complies. There'll be no ovarian cysts. No. No. None of that. So none of that's going to happen.

What do you mean? What's going to happen? Nothing's going to happen. It's going to be the same. She's going to carry on living life. Am I? Am I going to be the same? What do you mean?

I don't know. What do you mean? How do you going to be the same? Well, I wasn't the same in peri menopause, but now I'm in menopause. So what is that going to look like? Well, maybe it's just that the peri shit's over and now you're just like there. You know, I don't think that's how it works. It is, isn't it?

No. I don't think so. What do you mean? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. More bad stuff can't happen, surely, once you've been through the war, now it's at the end. It's done. No, I don't think it is done.

Is it done? I don't know. Sounds done. I've done. I've got all this information about the perimenopause. But guess what? What? I don't know about the menopause.

You better start fucking researching it. Because fucking hell. Because I'll be like three years behind you, so hurry up, research it and then tell me. What happens now? Yeah, but you don't listen. I do. I'll just watch and wait. You only listen when you're on the fogging floor.

Then you start to listen and I have to tip to her around you and find the perfect time. I'll watch you and see what happens. I don't think anything's going to happen. It's going to be fine. Just going to carry on doing your weekcare do Cardo shop, come to work with me, play paddle. It's going to be fine. Let's just go with that. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be okay. You saw how I left the house this morning. It wasn't great. I think you just buy, you just say. let you just save that money that you would have spent on tab packs and you spend it on something else.

I've got two teenage girls. Spend it on their tab packs. I am. Yeah, the leaving the house this morning was a bit special, in many respects. But you're not supposed to have brain fog anymore, are you? Done now. You've literally made that up. You've made that up.

Why would I not have brain fog anymore? Because we're not in very menopause. It's not just a perimenopause thing. It's about your hormones. But then once you're perimenopause, post or once you'll post you'll post forever. So what are you saying? Like this lasts forever till you're 80?

Well, if you don't have testosterone, which I don't because I don't take it, then I presume you're just going to have brain fog and... But then that's like every woman over 55 is permanently like, they're not. I think you just go on the up. I think you're just on the up. I think it all levels out. And then you're just told you that. I'm just looking at every woman I know over 55.

They're not all still in the throes of... Your mum is still. Still on HRT. Yeah, but that's for her osteoporosis. Sorry, her osteopenia. Not for brain. I know women that are on HRT still. They're in their 70s.

So just carry on taking it and don't think about it. Just shut up, basically. Shut up. We're done now. They've taken everything out. It's over. Son, you're fine. Everything's great.

I don't know. Why are you asking me? I don't know what happens after that. It's called a conversation. I can't have a conversation. help you. You don't have to help me. Use Google. You just have to, you just have to, you know, converse, share, be there. Stop telling me to shut up. That would be helpful, maybe. Why are you like, basically you've hit your limit with it. Yeah. Yeah. Because let me tell. I'm done. I'm done with it.

Oh, you're done with it. Yeah. So if you'd got your uterus removed, would we be done with it? No. We're still on the fucking patch. I've had a uterus removed. Just saying. just saying do you keep it in her jar? Did they show it to you afterwards? They showed my friend her ovaries. I'm feeling, they can fuck, I don't want to see my ovaries.

I'm feeling a bit sad about it all. I don't really know why. I haven't really got the language around it. I can't really figure out what's going on. I need to speak to somebody who's had a hysterectomy. It's not me. Well, believe for you, we know. No one likes a show off.

Like, what are you doing to me here? Stop. I'm not showing off. I just have a uterus. And he's showing off. That is the absolute definition of showing off. I'm just going to call somebody who's having this right to me. Somebody who's out of his threat to me.

Because I don't have the language for it, but I know something is like processing and I can't figure it out. Okay. All I know is that every time I go to talk about it, I start, I feel quite emotional. And I don't really know what that is. And I tried to talk to Adam about it. No.

And he was as helpful as you. No, right. I mean, definitely going elsewhere. He doesn't even have a uterus that could be removed. He is not the person I would talk to. In fact, I think he was more helpful, if I'm honest. Okay. Okay.

I hear what you're saying. Do you? No, I do now. I do now. I do now. What am I saying? Like, because I, I, you're saying that you're just having some emotional feelings about having had a hysterectomy and what that actually represents means to you as a woman.

Thank you. I think that's what you're saying. Thank you. Oh, you pulled it back from the brain. No, I do understand. I thought you were saying like, what happens now. I'm like, I don't know what happens now. I was saying what happens now.

I'm saying all of it. I don't know that. But I understand your feelings. Thank you. About it. Because it's the end of an era and the beginning of the new one. Yeah. Each stage of life takes a minute to get used to.

Yeah. This is just a new stage, so you have to take a minute. Yeah. You seem to be manifesting and going to sleep to sound baths. It's very worrying to me. Why is that worrying? Because it's very weird for you. you but I'm just going to go weird weird weird for you why is that weird

normally you just like lift shit and eat protein I'm not allowed to live I know so we're going in another direction and I'm here for it are you yeah I don't feel very supportive I am here for it it's good it's fine yeah you're allowed to take more than eight weeks to used to it, I think. Thanks. It's been seven, eight tomorrow. Not that we're counting. I'm just going to, I'm going to speak to other women.

Yeah. Yeah, good idea. Maybe let's join Lisa's club. Lisa's had a history to me. Lisa's had an history to me. She will understand. She's now got endometriosis. Just before we dive in, a very quick disclaimer, we're not doctors or healthcare

professionals. If there is an issue you are seriously struggling with, please, contact a qualified expert. If you're loving 40-ish, we would be so grateful if you could subscribe to this show and share this episode or the show in general with a friend. The more ears we reach, the more we can keep bringing 40-ish to all the brilliant midlife women who need to hear it. Hi, Lauren and Nicole.

I'm feeling a bit weird about something that's happened with my sister, and I don't know if I'm being oversensitive or not. A while back, I spent quite a lot of money on a 40th birthday gift. for her. I really put thought into it because I wanted it to be something special that she'd keep and enjoy for years. Recently, I found out not from her from someone else that she sold it. Oh, no. Apparently, she just didn't really use it and decided to sell it on and use the money for something else. I know technically, once you give someone a gift, it's theirs to do with, it's theirs to do what they want with. And she hasn't done anything wrong as such, but I can't

help feeling a bit hurt. It feels a bit like the thought and effort I put into choosing it didn't really matter and I'm now wondering if I was a bit of an idiot for spending so much in the first place. Part of me wants to say something in a calm. I wish you told me it hurt my feelings a bit way, but the other part of me thinks it will just make things awkward and petty and I should keep quiet and move on. For context we get on well, there's no big dramas between us, which is why I'm hesitant to rock the boat over a present. Would you say something or just chalk it up? up to experience and spend less next time. Thank you, Leanne. I mean, I don't, I don't, I have a sister. So I don't, I don't even understand the question of it. I mean, I can't, if it's

on my lung, it's on my tongue with my sister. There's not one thing that doesn't come out of my mouth with her. And same with her to you. Yes. Okay. Well, I hope so. But yeah, we have an extremely open relationship. So if she'd have done that, I would be like, what the actual fuck? Would you phone her up immediately and ask her? No, I don't know if I'd phone her up immediately, but I see my sister quite often, so I would probably just bring it up when I thought of it or when I next saw her and just say, what was that about?

Would it upset you if she did that? If she's like, listen, do you know what? But who's she even heard it from? I'm guessing a mutual friend. To me, to me, this is a bit odd because if that happened with me and my sister, she would be like, look, I thank you, but I don't love it. I'm going to sell it.

So we would have had that dialogue anyway. And it's weird that she's heard it through a friend and now she's obviously asked us what we think and now what she should do about her own sister. I mean, maybe a sister is a sister. I don't have a sister I know but you do understand what I'm saying

I'm struggling with the obviously there's a dynamic there that I'm not quite understanding because me and my sister just there are no holds barred that's the beauty of a sister and I see it with my girls

like there's just no holds bald I think if it was me if I was the receiver of the present I would probably say I know you've spent a lot of money on and I really appreciate it but I'm just, I don't think I'm going to use it. I'd rather, would it be okay

if you returned it and chose something else? I think my, if I was the receiver of the gift and I didn't love it, I'd be able to say it to your brother? Yeah, I would, but I think I would front foot it because I'd be so uncomfortable with the money being spent on me for something that I knew I didn't like and use, and I wouldn't want to sell it. That would feel wrong to me.

So I would want to say, I really appreciate it, but could, if you're going to spend this money on me, could it be something that I like? In the politest way, I could possibly say that. By the way, I understand why she's upset. Yeah, yeah, I do too. Completely understand. And I would also feel very hurt and very upset that she had sold it,

not told me that she'd sold it, and then I had to hear it from somebody else. I mean, that's just another layer on top of it of why it would upset me so much. She was obviously embarrassed about the fact she'd sold it. But regardless, it's not a great way to handle it. Is it? It's not very kind and it's not very compassionate. No, it's not.

Especially for someone that's spent a lot of money and gone to a lot of effort to buy such a lovely gift. And it's not just the money. It's also the fact that she put a lot of thought into it. Obviously thinking her sister would love it. Yes. And she didn't.

And that she went and then told somebody else. Yeah. Well, maybe the other friend was like, why aren't you using the blah, blah, blah. And she said, oh, I actually sold it. I didn't like it. I don't know. Yeah.

I do understand why she's upset. I totally get it. But also it depends how much. time has passed because if it's been a while do you really want to bring it up now and then it's your sister sorry no you can bring it up oh there's no time there's no time limit I mean it's your sister okay it's your sister I have to take your word for it like your sister's not going anywhere so unless you have a tumultuous relationship or a volatile relationship where you don't want to rock the boat because something has happened in the past which I'm sensing it has

Oh, God, I don't know. Otherwise, why would she feel so reluctant to say something? I just don't, I wouldn't have that reluctance. I don't think my girls would have that reluctance unless they'd had a falling out and they didn't speak for a period of time or something. Unless it's a difficult relationship. She said we get on well, but I don't want to rock the boat. Like that to me doesn't feel very sister Lee.

Okay. So say something. Just be honest. Well, in a nice way. I'm saying that with my own relationship in mind with my own sister. but what I'm sensing is that it isn't that dynamic. I think if she doesn't say something, the next big birthday is just going to be really awkward.

Do you know what I mean? Because she's going to be like, well, I'm not going to go and just do that again. Look, I am not a believer in holding things that have really hurt you or rocked you in a close relationship. I don't think that's healthy because it builds and builds resentment

and then that turns into other things and then that just leaks into other areas and I just don't think it's healthy so I think if you can have a conversation and just be really honest and up front and calm about it and just say look I would have preferred it if you'd have told me

because I would have replaced it for something that you really wanted but it did really upset me that you sold it I don't think there's anything when we're saying that no I don't either I'm sorry you're upset and I do understand why I have to read you Julie's Meltdown You know what's going to happen, don't you?

We're going to get like a reel that hits 200,000. Yeah. Because it never comes as you expected to. You have to place the order specifically. Julie. Julie, we went away for the Easter holidays and rented a house in the UK with another family. Trying to be organised, a week before we left, I thought I'd order an online food shop for us all to arrive the evening that we got there. Future me would be relaxed, wine in hand, cupboard, stocked.

Honestly, I was so pleased with myself. I spent ages picking everything out, breakfast bits, snacks, milk, bread, wine, easy dinners, little treats, the works. Oh, good, it sounds like you just like going from home to home, what is the point? Fast forward to us arriving at the place, tired, hungry, slightly grumpy from the drive, the kids already arguing after four hours in the car, we unpack

and by 7pm no food has arrived. I check the order and delivery time and then notice the address. It was for the same house number, same road, but 300 miles away. Somewhere, the other side of the UK, a delivery driver had

cheerfully delivered complete to strangers and entire week's shopping for nine people. I went through all the stages of grief in about 45 seconds. Then I realized that we now had absolutely no food, no milk, no breakfast, nothing. And it was getting late and the nearest shop was a good 25 minute drive away. And my brain fog is out of control. I couldn't bring myself to tell everyone how stupid I had been. So I just lied and said they had cancelled the order. I'm with her.

I am with her. Anyway, if anyone needs tips on how to efficiently plan a trip away, don't ask me, Julie. Julie. Oh, Julie. Oh, I also would have lied. I could never, ever have admitted that. Yes, I've just spent all that money and the order's gone 300 miles away. I could never admit that.

Also, how much must that have cost? For nine people for a week. I mean, that is like hundreds of pounds. So bad. Yeah. Would you secretly ring the delivery company the next day and say, well, I've got some wrong address. I would have had to have found. out who got it.

Who's eating my fucking Cheerios? Like, where are they? Oh, Julie. I feel so sorry for her. Poor Julie. We will be back. Next week. Tuesday.

I remember the days. Well, actually, it's Wednesday. We are reporting on a Wednesday. We'll break the fourth wall, shall we? No, never. We just have. We're recording on a Wednesday. So excuse me if I can't remember. When this is going in. She's so mean to post-menopausal women, everybody.

I'm just saying, just saying, just because she's got her uterus. She thinks she's all clever. Bye.