40ish - HRT Hack, Midlife Confidence and Padel is for Losers

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

This week on 40ish, the ladies embrace their latest career pivot as unofficial vaginal wellness influencers.  If anyone had “vaginal hydration gel ambassador” on their bingo card, congratulations. Lauren shares an HRT patch hack - if your arse looks like a patchwork quilt you will want to know! In Midlife News, there’s a breakthrough from Harvard researchers whose award-winning “vagina-on-a-chip” tech is helping transform women’s health research. The dilemma comes from a listener who feels she has spent so many years putting everyone else first that she’s slowly disappeared from her own life. The ladies discuss money, identity, self-care and why shrinking yourself to make room for others rarely ends well. There’s a Jeff update and Nicole is miffed after being told Padel is for losers.We are doing a live show! July 5th 4pm London. Book your tickets here: https://podlifeevents.com/event-details/40ish-live-show-5-jul-2026-ticketsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-laughing-our-way-through-midlife-perimenopause-menopause--6942825/support.We love to hear from you! Get in touch with your dilemmas and rants.DM & follow us on Instagram   TikTokOrder Our Book here

Hi, Quazas, guess what? We, finally, I've managed to talk Lauren Intu, are doing a live show. It is Sunday, July 5th at 4pm. You can come, you can have tea and you can get home for an early dinner and bed. Or you can come for an early glass of wine and just hang out with us. It's going to be fun, it's going to be great, we're going to do the podcast, we're going to hear from you guys, you're going to be a part of the show, and we are so excited for it. Tickets are.

in the link below. Just click and get them while you can. Hello everybody. Welcome to 40. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkan. This is the podcast where we tackle the trials and tribulations of 40-something life. Diving into news, stories, dilemmas, rants, meltdowns, Karen moments.

Our stuff, your stuff. Everyone's stuff. Anything and all the stuff that goes on in middle age. We are here for it. We talk about it. the more mundane, the better. Oh, yeah. The more times you clean your kitchen counters, we want to know.

I'm going to tell you about my IKEA laundry baskets. I'm going to tell you about yesterday I flew in from Spain. I walked into the kitchen. I put my suitcase down. Yeah. I hadn't even taken, well, I didn't have a coat on because it was warm. I walked into the kitchen. My suitcase hadn't even gone upstairs.

I said hello to the dog. Guess what I did then next. Detox, detox. I started wiping the kitchen counter. That was the first thing I did. Didn't even have, who was even in the house when you were away? Adam. Just Adam.

And did he not wipe that counter for five days? Not the way I like it. Not the way I like it. If he knew you, he would have detoxed a shit out of that an hour before you came home. Why would he do that? Because he would know that it would annoy you. He was on his own, right? Who really had the holiday?

I was away with the girls, my girls, my daughters. And he was in the house on his own because he had worked to so he couldn't come out. He had the holiday. Right. Right? He had the holiday. He totally did. There was one night odd holiday where my daughter's feet, when I tell you, they blew up, they were red raw.

She had this rash, I don't know, just on the top of her feet. And it was like, you couldn't touch it. It was so sore to the touch. But there wasn't, it wasn't lumpy. It was like a flat, it was the weirdest rash. Her feet looked like they were on fire. Oh. Right.

And I'm trying to sort it out. And I was trying to put ice packs on it. and the whole thing. And then my other daughter's coming in and she's like, why are we not going to the market tomorrow? You said we're not going to go to the market tomorrow. And I said, look, you're going to have to back off about the market. Right now I'm dealing with her feet.

And I just thought, and my sister was laughing. And she's like, honestly, she said it's like, I said it's like all the time. There's always like firefighting the emotions. Yes. And what they need. Yes. And I just thought, Adam is sat at home. He's on the couch.

Yeah, he's probably watching the football. He's so happy. He's eating whatever he wants and whatever time he's. He wants. Yeah. And he's not putting shit in the dishwasher. No. You're just leaving it out.

Yeah. Everything. Yeah. Yeah. At the best time. Yeah, bad. Did he walk the dog? He did.

Maybe he phoned me every day when he was walking her just to prove. Yeah. Prove that she would have complained. Otherwise, she would have told you when you got back. Yeah. Yeah. She would have. I would have known.

Anyway, we haven't finished the housekeeping. Oh yeah. If you've got something to share, big or small, we want to hear it all. So be in touch. Hello at 40ish.com. Don't forget you can subscribe on Apple Podcast. I think it's $4.99 a month and over there you get ad-free listening and you get early access to this show and our other show, Self Care Club. And if you love this show, please share it with a friend and please make sure that you follow and subscribe.

What's your most 40-ish moment, Laura Michigan? I've got a hack. I've got an HRT patch hack. Oh. Yep. Now look, if you're listening to this and you know this hack, don't be like, oh my God, it's too obvious. Because I'm realising what obvious do you need for the patch? Okay, well basically my ass looks like a patchwork quilt.

Yeah. Because, you know, not allowed to put the sticker on the same bit. And also leaves residue with the glue. Right. So I've got like glue residue all over my backside. Anyway, I read this hack where they basically say, take off the patch, the day that you take off the patch, rip it off. And then use the old patch, rub it on all the glue residue and it will all come straight off. Because everyone else was like, baby oil, use baby oil, use baby oil. And it's like, you can't use baby oil.

Why do they speak like that? They just do. They can't use baby oil because then you've got to, it won't, the new one won't stick. And I thought, oh, this has got to be rubbish. So on Sunday morning, ripped my patch off, turned around in the mirror, I thought I'm going to give this to go.

Oh my God, every single bit of glue residue came off. I've now got a completely glue-free butt. I cannot tell you. Is that a sentence you ever thought you'd say? But I must have had six, six glue squares all over. I used to have it. Now I have done. Yeah.

That is the hack. That is a good hack. Thank you. That's like with them when you wax your up a lit. I don't do that. I knew you were going to say that. But I knew you were going to say that. What happens when you waxes up a lip?

Well, sometimes there's wax residue. But then you get the strip and then you just sort of take it off. You see. Yeah, but you still do need to use baby oil afterwards to get rid of it. Oh, okay. Well, anyway, I'm just saying if any of you. That is a good hack. And it's like with the egg. Yes.

The only thing that gets the shell out if you drop some shell in. your egg mixture is the shell itself. It's so true. So if you're suffering from patchwork bum, then that is the hack. That is a good hack. You are welcome. I love that. What's yours?

Well, we're now, we are now vaj influencers. Oh, it's a dream come true. It really. I've really manifested that after 16 years in the vagina business. I should be a vaj influencer now. Yeah, you should. It's on brand for me. Yeah.

It's not on brand for me. I should be a hair. influencer. Shouldn't I? Yeah. Maybe I should need to do some like hair content. Well, that would help because we seem to mainly do vagina content and that's why we're now vagina influencers.

Right. The reason that I'm saying that is because we've got an email in the other day. I mean, we do get a lot of emails wanting to send us a lot of supplements and a lot of stuff. And sometimes we say yes. Often we say yes. And often we don't reply. But this one was fantastic.

We got offered. They really wanted to send us. Have you got the email? I have. Yeah, a hydration and comfort gel for your vagina. Yeah. Fast and long lasting relief from vaginal dryness, burning and itching, plus long lasting effect for up to five days,

as well as a multi-support capsule supplement. Sexy time. So I snapshoted it. I sent it over to you. I circled the vaginal dryness burning and itching. And I said to you, this is where we are now. I wrote back to them and I was like, yeah, send it. Because who knows?

Who knows what's around the corner? You know, the lady who wrote in about the itchy pubs and we were like, that could happen to anyone at any time. Yeah, yeah. You don't know. You never know what's happening. And I don't want to have to say to you in two weeks' time, oh my God, now I've got all this problems.

If I can just be sent this stuff proactively. So we're preventative. We're preventative now. Well, I'm just going to have it to hand. They want to send it. I'll say, yes. Final dryness burning and itching isn't next. I really hope it isn't next.

I'm not down for it. I feel like I've done. I'm done. I've done my bit. I've done my bit with the perimenopause and the menopause. Like, I'm done. Can I just settle now and just be stabilised within my menopause? Just leave me alone. I got the uterus removed.

I got the ovaries removed. I got the cervix removed. I've had every symptom under the sun. I've had anxiety. I've had depression. I've had low mood. I've had rage. I've had night sweats. I've had, what else have I had? I've had migraines. I've had brain fog. Brain fog. I've had anxiety. Did you say that already? Yeah. Yeah, you've had all of it. You've run the full gamut. I have run the full gamut. Like I do now not need. I do not need

vaginal dryness, burning or itching. Who does need that? Tell me who does need that. Tell me who wakes up in the wishing for that. But what I'm saying is, should it happen, we'll have the shit to hand. You know? Then maybe we will be influencers because maybe it will sort us out. Maybe we should ask them for giveaways

at our live show. Of this? Yeah. Yeah, lovely, charming. Come on. Just what you want in your goody bag, isn't it? Yeah. Well, maybe some women would want it

in their goody bag. Let's talk about our live show. Okay, what do you want to say? We are doing a live show on the 5th of July. I know we said it a few weeks ago. Because if any women were going to record at fucked up and double

book so we had to book another venue but it's still going to be on July 5th at 4pm in the afternoon because we asked you and you wanted

an afternoon show so you'll get it's cross yeah so you're getting one Kings Cross is the nearest station not near to the station it's near enough it's going to be July it's going to be a lovely

little warm walk all right you're all right with that yeah I felt like I couldn't change the venue again because Lauren was going to back out and you said if you change the

basically because you said if you change the venue again I'm going to back out I just won't turn up on the day. That will be really difficult. What would I do? What would I dance? A song and dance. I wouldn't do a song and dance. What would I do? Like a TED talk. Would you? About what? What would? What? You'd make up on the spot? Yeah, I'd have to. Fuck. It's all right. Ted talks are only like 14 minutes. Would you ever speak to me again? If it was like three o'clock. Yeah, I would. No, you wouldn't. Of course I would. It was like three o'clock. And then I just text to you and said, I'm not coming. That's it. That's the whole sentence. I'm not coming. Full stop. And then I just my phone off.

Would I ever speak to you again? Yes. Of course I would speak to you again because firstly I would be. You want to know why. I would want to know why. But firstly, I would be very, very worried about you because I'd be like that. It's so unlike her what is going on. I'm reading the Sunday Times.

I just can't be able to do the show. You just would never do that. It's just like it's totally, but would if that was the case, would I ever speak to you again? Yeah. I would be very upset with you. think you'd be allowed to be. Would you speak to me again if I did that? I'd be quite sad, but also I would not get on the stage and give a TED Talk. I would just go on the stage and

say Nicole Goldman has sent me this text and I would show them the text. I'm not coming full stop. And then we'd have to give a refund and then we'd owe the venue money. Yeah. Then we'd be out of pocket. Really bad. But I'd just make you pay for it. I think that's fair enough. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair right. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I would speak. I wouldn't throw away around to hire friendship over it. That's okay. I am going to show up. Good. Okay. Good. We're both showing up.

We're going to have a really good live show. We're just going to do what we do here. It's just going to be this podcast, but in live. In live? Yeah. Live. Live. Yeah.

It's going to be this show in the flesh. It's a bit scary. No editing. That's a bit scary because you don't realize what I edit. I do sometimes. But you don't realize. Like we are heavily edited by the way, Quazasas. Heavily edited.

We won't be heavily edited on the live show. There'll be no editing. If we fuck up, we fuck up. You'll have to forgive us. Sorry. Sorry in advance. It's going to be fun. I can't wait. I'm so excited. Come along, book your tickets.

Get your tickets. The link is in the show notes. Hi, Quazas, guess what? We, finally, I've managed to talk Lauren into it, are doing a live show. It is Sunday, July 5th at 4pm. You can come, you can have tea and you can get home for an early dinner and bed. Or you can come for an early glass of wine.

and just hang out with us. It's going to be fun. It's going to be great. We're going to do the podcast. We're going to hear from you guys. You're going to be a part of the show. And we are so excited for it. Tickets are in the link below.

Just click and get them while you can. I've got midlife news for you. Harvard researchers have received recognition for their vagina on a chip breakthrough. It's all about the vaginas today. They have received. When is it not? It always is.

People ask me like, what's your show about? Depending on like... It's about vaginas. What's your show about? Yeah. Tax. What do you do for a living? Remember we asked this man, what was your show about?

We just done like the... Oh, don't. No, I'm saying it. No. We've done the stupidest show. Like, it was really, really... I don't know. We're talking about John Ham's Willie or whatever we were talking about.

It's a ridiculous show. And then we leave the studio. This guy's about to come in. He's like in a suit. He's like, oh, hi. He's so serious. He's so serious. he's like, hi, how are you fine?

You're great. How is your recording great? And we said, oh, what's your episode about? He's like, oh, well, I've got a tax expert in. And we're going to talk about, he's going to give, like, tips about tax. And Lauren goes, what's your podcast about? And he goes, tax. But like, so straight a phrase.

And I'm like, really, really trying not to laugh. And I can't look at it. You didn't. You were so good. We could look at each other. Because it was like, well, that's obviously what his podcast is about. Because why would he have a tax expert on otherwise? He gives us hot tax tips.

We didn't ask a guest on it. We didn't. And he goes, what's yours about? Yeah. He'd be like, Vaj. John Hams, Willie. Jacob, a Lordy. James saying which one of us is more down to her.

Okay, you can we talk about menopause symptoms. Viginal dry and spurning and itching. I wish that I now that I had said to him it's about vaginaldrient and burning and burying. and itching. If I see him again, I'm saying. Don't. That's not fair. No, that is not fair.

But then, this cool guy, this cool young guy, gorgeous looking. Gorgeous looking like champion ping pong player. Oh yes. He came in, like he looked like a boxer. He was hot. He was so hot.

And he was like 30. Yeah, he did not look like a ping pong player. I was expecting some Marty Supreme, weedy guy. This like big guy comes in. Yeah. He was, and he was hot. And we were like, Hi.

Hi. You're not. Are you a tax expert? No, he was on talking about, I don't know, I guess his earnings from ping pong and the tax man was going to give him his top tax tips. Say that again. Say that again. His top tax tips.

You know, there's a podcast for everyone. And that is what's wonderful about this whole community. Anyway, I don't know why I said it, but he walked in. I wasn't expecting. him. I wasn't expecting that aesthetic. So I was a bit, we were both a bit taken about and we were trying to, you know, we were trying to behave ourselves about the tax thing.

Yeah. And then he walked in and then like some Adonis walked in, which, you know, we're unprepared for in the studio. We don't normally see Adonis is here. No offense, James, but we don't. No. We don't. So when he walked in, he was young and hot, the whole thing,

sporty and I said, I don't know what I said. Paddle. You'd be, she said, oh, you'd be really. really good at paddle. And he was like, I don't play paddle. I don't like it. There was nowhere to go from there. No. No.

He'd like shut that shit down, didn't he? He's like, I don't need a 49 year old coming on to me. Like, go away. So I'm talking about a paddle. It's shit. I'm a champion ping pong player. Literally, literally. He was like, only losers play paddle.

Yeah. I went, oh, he goes, oh, do you play battle? Like, no. No. I've never played it in my life. Anyway, do you want to know what it is? Do you want to know what it is? A giant on a chip.

It's a lab-grown model made from human cells, and it's the size of a USB stick, and it mimics key features of the female reproductive tract. And basically now, the researchers can study how vaginal tissue responds to hormones and infections and medications and bacteria, and then it will be an alternative to animal testing. The reproductive tract. So I couldn't do it. No, you don't have any reproductive bits and pieces. I still have hormones.

I think that's a little. It's a bit exclusive. No, but I think this is wonderful because it means that they can test all this stuff and help improve women's health research and understandings about like the microbiome and reproductive health and chronic illness and they don't have to test it on animals. That's amazing. That's amazing. So clever.

So I'm glad they got the prize that they deserved it. Paddles for losers. That's what I said. It's all right. I wish I'd recorded it. Had some feedback. Yep. Frida, she says,

As a Brit living in New York, I listen to your podcast religiously. Please, can you live stream your show on July 5th? Why don't you just fly over to London for the weekend, Frida? Or if you can find 199 friends who want to listen to the show, we'll come to New York and do it there. How about that for an offer? Yeah, that's the deal.

I would definitely come to New York. My cousin lives in New York. Great. That's the deal, Frida. I'd be very happy to find an excuse to go and see my cousin. nine friends who want to see the podcast live and we'll come and do it for you. She says, I love every minute and keeping it in mind all, and keep it in mind all the info you've shared for when needed. Well, if you need to know about tax. My grandmother was called Frida.

Oh, she? It's a sign. It's a sign. It's a sign. It's a sign of what. We're going to go to New York and do our show there. I would love to go to New York and do our show there. Great. Then we have Friday night dinner with my cousins. Great. Love that. Yeah. We can go to Bathdard for brunch on Saturday. We can go to Bathsaw. We can go to Bathsart here. Let's go somewhere else. The Baths are shit. The one in your because of banging. What was the difference? It's completely different. I've been to both, yeah. We can go to Ross and Daughters, get really good bagels for lunch,

go shopping in the West Village. Okay, I'm down for this. We can go and see a Broadway show. No, they're so expensive. Okay. We'll do our own show. But we can figure out the idea of a later date. Do you mind if we just plan our trip whilst recording the show? Let's put it on chat, GPD right now.

Okay, we've had more feedback. So the Australian lady that emailed about her husband doing nothing for her birthday resonated. I rarely had my expectations of special occasions met. My husband's family rarely make a big deal of them. I think this is a thing. It's like if you're married to someone who does or doesn't make a big deal of birthdays. Do you know what I mean? You're married to the opposite.

This guy, though, he went out on her birthday with his mates. Yeah, and had beers and came home at 8.30. That was so unkind. I think it was unkind. She says it took me 25 years and lots of discussions to realize I either needed to change my expectations or make the plans myself. He is always happy to attend but seems incapable of doing the booking. He has so many other fabulous traits that I just accept this is the way it is.

The year we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, he booked us a meal out but was mystified by my disappointment. He took me to the curry house that he goes to with his football team. A bit unimaginative. I mean, I mean. Now I make sure that I'm doing something I, now I make sure I'm doing something I want to do. I don't wait for him. and if he wants to join me, it's a bonus.

In the past, I worried that not doing stuff together begs the question of why I even be together, but now I know that he puts a lot of value into the lunches that we make and eat together and the evenings watching TV cuddled on the sofa, things that I hadn't considered as being together. The short version is that communication is key and don't compare yourself to other people's marriages.

Also, you seem to have found a really nice, healthy solution to this issue. So well done. Yeah, but she's had to learn it as well. well. She has. And I would imagine that there's been learning it the hard way and there's been a lot of trial and tribulations within that. And also they've been married a long time, right? These things do take a long time to, like I accept Adam is not, he's just not romantic and he does his best. But also he shows up for me in so many different other ways. Yeah.

Yeah. So you just, you know, you take the good bits and you deal with the bits that aren't so great and you find the compromise. Hey, ho, that's marriage. Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer, we are not doctors or healthcare professionals, so if there is an issue that you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Hi girls, I'm 49, married to a lovely man for 19 years with two kids. I was mostly a stay-at-home mum by choice.

We are comfortable enough, and I've always been okay making some sacrifices to make up for not having a salary. I do work part-time now and earn enough for a third. few treats. But for the past few years, I've been feeling like I'm losing myself. Recently, we went shopping together. We went into a lot of menswear shops. And even though he says that I should look too, we just didn't seem to. I did see some trainers I liked, but I mentioned that they weren't in the sale, so we moved on. Meanwhile, my husband bought a full-price designer shirt when his wardrobe is full of nice clothes. I have lost two stone recently,

but I feel crappy as nothing fits well. I'd love to get my hair cut coloured, but I don't feel confident enough to spend the money as I know it's expensive. Oh, oh, it is expensive. I know. As time goes on, I'm feeling like I need to shrink myself more and more. I buy the bare minimum for myself so my husband and children can have nice things, but they don't notice or care. I'm hurt that I seem to now just be someone who cooks and cleans, but my appearance and confidence don't seem to matter. I have brought it up. My husband says it shouldn't be that way, but nothing actually changes. I know it sounds silly but this is where my self-worth and confidence are. He says I look nice but when I look in the mirror I see a sad sack of potatoes.

Oh my God. That is very sad. I'm sorry that you feel this way. I really am and there is so much that there is so much that you can do in order to feel better about yourself. And the first thing I want to say is that it's not your husband's responsibility to take the initiative for your appearance, to put like time and effort and finances into your appearance, you kind of have to do that yourself? I think she doesn't really make it clear, but I guess my question is, and this is just what I'm reading into it, it doesn't sound to me like he's limiting you. It sounds to me like you're limiting yourself.

Agree. I completely agree. You haven't said in your email, that he's like, I'm buying this designer shirt, you're not allowed. You can't have anything. Yeah. I feel like you've put this thing on yourself, that I don't work as much as him, and as much as him I don't deserve.

Yes. So I'm skrimping and I won't get my hair cut, but he's getting there. So you're resentful, but you're restricting yourself. Yes. I think. Yes. Unless I've read that wrong.

I have read it exactly the same way. I would love to get my hair cut and color, but I don't feel confident enough to spend the money as I know as expensive. I mean, and there's loads of obviously examples in here. But you're also feeling like a sack of potatoes, as you say, but maybe if you did have your hair cut and coloured and you did buy those trainers and you did invest in yourself a little bit, you might feel a little bit better about yourself. And when she says, I brought it up, my husband says it shouldn't be that way, but nothing actually changes, but you're not doing anything to change it. Right?

So you should not be walking around feeling like a sad sack of potatoes. No one should. I don't believe that anybody should walk around feeling like that. I think there's so many different places to buy some cheap clothes that you can get so many things that are so reasonable now that you don't have to spend a fortune. The high street stuff is brilliant. You know, there's loads of, you'll find loads of stuff on ASOS or Bershka or Zara or...

MNF. M&S. And the sales will be on soon. So, I mean, I'm always buying stuff in sales. And I always look for sales all the time. Yeah, me too. And I really don't spend a fortune on my clothes because I like to shop a lot.

Yeah. Also, Vinted, do not forget Vinted. Yeah. You get the most amazing bargains. Yeah. And I think proper good stuff. You put a budget aside. Let's say you want to spend £200 and get yourself a new wardrobe.

Like, that is manageable. and that is totally doable. Also, the wanting to get your hair cut and coloured, but it's expensive, but it is going to make, I mean, you're focused on how much it's going to cost, but what you're not focused on is how it's going to make you feel about yourself.

And that is kind of priceless. So if you can afford to do it, I say do it, just book the appointment. And sometimes if you can't afford to do it, then a lot of salons, They have model nights where they're teaching the juniors. That's a good idea.

Yeah. So sometimes you can get a haircut for free. Or you can get a haircut and you pay like something minimal like 10 pounds and you're still getting your haircut. I do feel like you say he's a lovely husband. I also do feel like if you actually had a conversation with him where you said, listen, I feel like shit. I've lost this weight. My clothes look awful. Can we please go shopping and can we buy some stuff?

Why is she asking permission? Well, I mean, in case she hasn't got on her part. time salary in case she did want him to treat her. I feel like he would. Like for what she's saying, I feel he'd be like, yeah, great, let's go. She's waiting for his permission. Yeah. I don't know why. You're a partnership. You're a marriage. I'm, okay, I don't know how it works within your relationship, but it's not that he gets everything he needs and you get nothing. That doesn't work. That's unworkable. Yeah. So stop with that narrative because that's not healthy. I agree. And it doesn't sound like it's coming from him. It sounds like it's coming from. It sounds like it's

from her. And you don't need the bare minimum so they can have. You can all have things. Yes. All of you. Yes. Yeah. You don't need to shrink yourself and want for less. Like it's not working for you and it's actually making you feel like a sad sack of potatoes. We want you

to feel like a glorious goddess. Aim for that. Yeah. Much better. Yeah. And the first thing, can I just say the first thing that you should do is book that hair appointment and you want to know what my next hack is? which changes everything.

Fake tan. I've never bothered with fake tan. I know. You have once. I've made you. We did it for the show. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Still have bothered with it. Yeah. I think it is an absolute game changer. When you are feeling totally shit, you know, Dove, the moisturiser, I think it's like, actually I don't know how much it. It's five, six quid. Yeah, there's one that has a, like a gradual tan in it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's really inexpensive. Stick some of that on and you wake up the next morning feeling so much better and so much brighter. I have used that actually. Dove. It's brilliant. It is good. I think it's like six, about six quid.

And you get, I mean, you probably get about, it's a huge bottle. Ten. Yeah. Ten applications in there. Yeah. Jeff Update. Because lots of people have written in about Jeff.

People are so invested in Jeff. Even my friends have asked me about Jeff. Jeff, for the record, is a, is a golden retriever who we have been fostering for the last month and he's been living with me and I'm very happy to say that as of yesterday Jeff was adopted by his forever family. It's for ever family. And he has gone to live a lovely life and he's going to live yappily ever after. And you know what? Godspeed Jeff and I hope he is not rejected for the third time but I think this is it. I think this is it. I also think that if anyone else had come up with those dog puns you'd think it was tragic. It would but I've come

up them so it's fine no i know but you would have found that like that would have given you the i don't mind a dog pun oh okay for the record anyway jeff jeff has left everyone in the house is a little sad but i know that jeff has gone to a lovely new life anyway and you're not sad because you feel like i feel like i've done a good thing yeah you have done a great yeah and i loved having him and it was great and now he's got his family anyway the morning the very morning that jeff was being adopted the front door was opened so that Olly and Josh could leave for school and some dimwit just decided to put their bags in the car and not close the front door and Jeff, Lord love him,

even after a month, did a runner, didn't he? And I just knew, I was like, where's Jeff? And I just knew Jeff's done a runner. I am in a 90. I say 90, it's not even a 90. It's an M&S long T-shirt to the knees. I have on no bra. I have no contact lenses in.

My hair is, I can't even explain to you my hair. And they got in the car and they went to school. So I grabbed. Do you know where Jeff was? I knew he'd run to the woods because when he's done a runner before, that's where he's running to him. And I grabbed my keys and a lead and I put on some crocs and I run to the woods. And this, this is my look in it. I'm a mad woman running through the woods.

No bra. Screaming the name Jeff with my bosoms bouncing. around and an MNS 90 in my glasses and crooks like a lunatic. Jeff is just standing in the middle of a field, 10 minutes away, just barking at nothing, barking at nothing. But then quite pleased to see me and trotted over and I put his lead on it. I did not need this shit. 10 minutes away.

10 minutes away. 10 minutes away. You took you 10 minutes to find him. I didn't know it's of running, of running in this outfit, not even an outfit, barely dressed. At 7.30 in the morning. She had niggas on. I did have knickers. Thank God.

Because there was no time to go upstairs and get knickers. Absolutely no time. And all I could think was they are coming to pick up Jeff to adopt him. And I am going to have to say to them, I'm sorry. I don't have a dog. I'm sorry, I lost him. Sorry, he's gone. He'd also managed to lose his tag a few days ago.

So I mean, anyway, I got the bastard and I brought him home. I was like, right, time for you to go, Jeff. Right, okay, Jeff. Adoption days here. Anyway, I had an accident and I, like, tripped on this stone and I ripped my toe. And I cannot tell you it is the smallest thing and it is so painful. I have not been able.

Oh, that's why you're limping. Yes, and I've not been able to wear shoes for two days. She said, yes, I'm limping, yes, I'm in crocs. I'm like, okay. Yeah, the only thing I can wear is flip flops or crooks. It's not good. Well, it's summer. Yeah, but my toe is mashed.

Yeah, but it won't be forever. It won't be forever. But it's so small yet so painful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So impactful. The legacy of Jeff. Yeah. Anyway, bye bye, Jeff.

Bye bye bye Jeff. Love you. Good for Jeff. Good for Jeff. What's your meltdown? Well, it's not really a meltdown. It's a post that I saw on Instagram that I really wanted to bring to the show. Okay.

Because I think it is so poignant and beautiful. Okay. Okay. Yep. Ready. It says, perimenopause will drag every unhealed part of you to the surface. Hot flashes and irregular periods, maybe some mood swings. Take some supplements, maybe try HRT, and you'll be fine. But nobody warns you about the emotional reference.

that's coming. The rage from decades of people pleasing, the anxiety from ignoring your needs for years, the exhaustion that finally forces you to set boundaries, the relationships that drain you become unbearable, the job that doesn't fulfill you feels suffocating, the version of yourself you've been performing starts to crack. Perimenopause isn't just a hormonal shift, it's a nervous system recalibration, your body is done tolerating what it used to tolerate, it's giving you permission to finally be yourself to stop hiding, to stop shrinking, to stop swallowing things down. I mean, did you hard resonate? This post just, I don't know, just something, it landed so heavily for me.

Because I've been saying to you, haven't I, since I have my hysterectomy, that something has shifted and I couldn't figure out what it was, but I knew that something felt seismically different, and I don't mean just the removal of my uterus. It felt emotionally different. And everything that this post said, it's just that. It's like all of the things that we swallow, that we tolerate, that we put up with, that we just shrug off became unmanageable. Like I couldn't, I just can't do that anymore.

And that's quite a tricky place to be. Yeah. Because it unsettles, it unsettles things in your life. unsettles relationships and dynamics in relationships. Yeah. And that's not really massively good for other people around me. It's also not good for me because it needs to settle again. But that piece of like the things that you've been tolerating become absolutely unbearable.

What is that? And I just think it's so common and so hard to articulate yet so palpable. agreed that was it thank you for sharing we've got a listener meltdown it's from Demi she says please can we discuss the cruelty

of combining half term with a heat wave the children are somehow simultaneously bored overstimulated hungry thirsty hot sticky and arguing every activity is extortionate and also rammed because apparently every other parent

in the country has the same idea as you never go to pepper pig world never. I will never go again. You won't have a need to. No, I've spent the week carrying water bottles, applying sun cream to moving targets, searching for lost hats and listening to complaints that it's too hot outside but also that staying indoors is boring.

My kitchen is a constant mess and I'm counting the days until they go back to school and rain returns. Send hope and prayers, Demi. Well, the rain has returned and it's no longer half term, so hopefully you're feeling less stressed. Oh, so fucking depressing with the rain. I was playing paddle this morning in the absolute pouring rain. And I was feeling acutely middle-aged as my only thought was, oh, it's so good for the garden.

That's what I was thinking. I was so relieved not to have to water it. I mean, that heat was absolutely unbearable. There's no doubt about it. But why have we got to go from one extreme to another? Oh, this is the country. We live in. We can't now make this show about the weather. No, we can't because literally I would go on and on for hours.

We should just end it here. You love talking about the weather. That's what I'm saying. It could go on for hours. We'll be back on Thursday for another episode. Please keep your messages coming in. Hello at 40ish.com.com. See you then.