40ish - Husband Tracking, Itchy Bottoms and The World Cup

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

On todays episode of 40ish: Nicole is losing her mind over losing absolutely everything she owns, while Lauren is deeply disturbed by the algorithm's insistence that she might be in the market for itchy anus remedies. We hear from a listener who has accidentally become a midlife music sensation, discuss why women in midlife are increasingly swapping big friendship groups for a handful of meaningful connections, and tackle a surprisingly divisive question: is tracking your husband's location perfectly normal... or just plain weird? Plus, a listener asks for help navigating the bewildering world of supplements for a neurodivergent perimenopausal brain, and Lauren and Nicole discover they share one deeply unfashionable opinion: complete and utter apathy towards the World Cup.Buy tickets to our Live Show on July 5th here: https://podlifeevents.com/event-details/40ish-live-show-5-jul-2026-ticketsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-laughing-our-way-through-midlife-perimenopause-menopause--6942825/support.We love to hear from you! Get in touch with your dilemmas and rants.DM & follow us on Instagram   TikTokOrder Our Book here

Hi, Quazas, guess what? We, finally, I've managed to talk Lauren into it, are doing a live show. It is Sunday, July 5th at 4pm. You can come, you can have tea and you can get home for an early dinner and bed. Or you can come for an early glass of wine and just hang out with us. It's going to be fun, it's going to be great, we're going to do the podcast, we're going to hear from you guys, you're going to be a part of the show, and we are so excited for it. tickets are in the link below.

Just click and get them while you can. Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we tackle 40-something life on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We dive into midlife, the news, your stories, your dilemmas, we give very average advice. And we bring our own mess, don't we? Our own stuff.

Our own stuff, our own 40ish moments, our own dilemmas, our own dilemmas, our own. own midlife meltdowns. We bring the lot. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now, the listeners seem to love it. Now, let's do the housekeeping. Okay.

Please remember that you can subscribe and Apple Podcast for early access and add free listening across this show and self-care club. And you can watch the video on YouTube. And if you've got something to share, big or small, we want to hear it all. So please email us hello at 40ish.com.

Dotco.com. And lastly, but not leastly. Leasley. Use it. Just go with it now. It's there. We would love you to make sure that you are subscribed or you're following the show. Just look for the tick at the top of the platform wherever you're on.

Or the plus. Or the plus wherever you're on. And just click that and then you will get access to all the shows and you'll get updated and all the things. And apparently it's really important. And please share this show with a friend or with someone that you think would love 40-ish too. Rolling off the tongue. What is your most 40-ish moment of the week? I actually can't with myself.

I can't. I cannot cope with myself. Oh. I'm not a scatty person. You are not. Well, I am. Why? Ordinarily I'm not, but now I am.

In what way? I am losing everything. Like, it is bordering. It's not even bordering. It is embarrassing. You've been stolen from? Are you actually losing? No, losing, leaving.

Just being scatty about everything. I have lost, this is the places where I have lost my car key in the last two months. Surrey. Surrey. Surrey. I live in London. Yes, remember that one. I live in North London.

Surrey. The woods. Yeah. And then I left them at the paddle courts, my car keys. Okay. And my house keys. Because you don't get very far when you leave your car keys somewhere. No, I do because my car key is on my phone.

Oh. So I go home and then I realize I can't open the door. And then I realize I've left it somewhere. Okay. Sorry was the worst. Yeah, so I get home from paddle the other day and I have lost, I basically nicked my sisters.

She's got a very nice, sweaty, betty, like raincoat. Yeah. And I kind of nicked it because it was raining and she left it at my house. She's your sister. And I left that. Uh-oh. Yep.

And I also left my bum bag, which I will tell you has my car key, my house key, my credit cards, my reading glasses, my sunglasses, my AirPods. cash. Not a lot of cash. It had like 20 quid in there. Where did you leave it? I left it at the paddle courts, along with my sister's sweaty betty coat.

Great. So then I put it on at the paddle group, which is like a thousand people. Hi everyone. Here's access to my keys, my phone, my airponds, my cash. Hi everyone. I'm very scatty. I've lost a load of really important things. Have you seen it?

It's like a signpost to how scatty I am. It's so embarrassing. Everyone was absolutely lovely. It got found. someone took it to reception I picked out the next morning You were lucky I go in the next morning

I pick it up and because I didn't have a jacket I took another jacket get home You've left that jacket Out of the paddle courts Was so embarrassed Because on the way in

To the paddle Someone who was on the group The big group said Oh did you find everything Did you find it? I was like yeah yeah I found it back So you know I'm like really like

Standing myself out Like it's not cool Get home I've lost the jacket I've left it there too embarrassed to now put it back on the group. No, no, you can't put it back on the group. This bomber jacket, it's this one.

Yes. It's the green one. Yes. It's from the States. Yeah. It's about three years old. I'm never going to get it again. I love it.

I love it. Yeah. Message my friend. Yeah. Are you still at the club? Yeah. She's like, oh, I'm not there. So I had to put on the group. I had to put it on the group.

This is the last time because otherwise you're going to get a reputation. It's too late. It's too late. Again, someone found it. It took it to recess. I picked out the next time I was it. You're like a year six, basically. You just remembered this.

I get onto the court and by the side of the court was my paddle arm band thingy that I'd lost. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I'd even lost that or even amidst it. Pick it up, slip it in the pocket, walk off. Yeah, and then some sort of, oh, I wondered who's that was. I'm like, well, someone made a joke that they are going to build a lost property box

and just put my name on it. I actually don't think that's a bad shout. I mean, that was quite a good idea. So embarrassing. I took Josh to his friends yesterday. No, yesterday, day before. And, you know, he just got in the car and I dropped him off. And he got out of the car and he was like, oh, shit.

I don't have any shoes on. What? I mean, I'm not at that stage yet. I left the house. I said, but you're getting the bus home. He's like, right, I'll get the bus in my socks. No. I said, no, no, no.

Just take my shoes. Yeah. I'll drive home. Just take my shoes because we're with the same size. He's like, you can't. It's illegal to drive barefoot. I said, I, yeah. is actually he's like don't worry I just get the bus home in my socks no yeah no he did no he didn't

I can't believe who let him I let him see any way children learn a lesson is to let them learn the lesson when they stand on something really sharp and then they can't walk for the next three weeks yeah mine's worse I mean I know if it's worse but yeah I actually think it is worse in what way well it's just yeah you know it is okay it is you know how I got it is you know how I got sent the lovely box of um we we got sent but it got sent to my house no no can i just say yeah we have worked together for six and a half years yeah okay you still use the term i know but i still say my wedding do you know what i mean well it's a royal it's a it's a collective it's not a collective eye no there is no collective i it is we let me tell something fucks me off every time you do it

well i mean we no no you don't know we are i you don't know you don't know i i don't know i are we. That is a nonsense. You don't want to be a we in this situation. I know exactly what you're going to say because I saw the email. By the way, we W-E in capital letters underline share an email. It came to our O-U-R email. If you'd like the collective for the itchy, Bernie sore vagina, you are welcome to it.

It's unopened. It's unopened. You're welcome to it. Anyway, that's now obviously hit my algorithm. Not yours, mine, because all I get served now on my personal Instagram, not our collective joint one, is, you know the gummies? I'm not going to say the brand because I'm not actually going to advertise them, but they're a very, very current popular gummy for...

Did they message us? No. They never messaged us. No, they didn't. Right. But anyway, they're a popular gummy for many issues of midlife women, mainly sort of menopausal issues. And the ad that they keep serving me constantly.

daily, thrice daily, is it starts with do you do you have I don't know what you're going to say do you have an itchy anus at night and it do you

as a solution for a night time itchy arse I was like because there are someone listening that does have that issue. Okay firstly thankfully, no.

But also, isn't that worms? Isn't that what you have when you're like seven? Can you imagine having that as a menopausal symptom? I know I've lost my jacket, but I'll take it. That's what I'm saying is what. But is that a menopausal symptom? Because the gummy people are saying it is. There must be.

And also, why only at night? Why would your anus not be itchy in the 12 hours of daylight? Joking aside. I do get very itchy. Let me finish the sentence. I do get very itchy. I have to take a lot of antihistamine. But you're also allergic to like fake tan and hair dye and things like that.

Yeah, but like when, you know, the hay fever and stuff like that, I don't get like blocked sinuses. Yeah. I get very, very itchy. Yeah. I am so happy that it doesn't go there. Leak to my arson. But also, that's not just a night time.

But if you're itchy, you're it's. If someone said to me today, oh, what are you doing the rest of the day? Oh, I'm going to work. Yeah. What are you doing? I'm going to work. He's a dentist, okay? He doesn't say things like leaked to my asshole.

At his job. He might. You don't know. I bet he doesn't and I'm not going to ask. But he's got an actual job. This is what my job is, leaked to my asshole. But when you're itchy, you're itchy in the day, right? You're not just itchy at night.

Yes, you are. Just at night? Yes. Yes. Really? My itching, again, I'm going to clarify. Doesn't leak to my arsehole. Right.

Well, I'm just saying. I didn't know that that was a problem for people. When I get itchy, often it is worse at night. Yes. Okay. Well, I'm just letting you know. There's a gummy for it. There's a gummy for it.

Apparently, and that is now what I'm being served. I wonder what is in the gummy that it only sorts out an itchy asshole and not anything else. I get very itchy legs. They're not like gummies for itchy anuses. They're gummies for menopausal symptoms. But that is... Oh! Oh! Yeah.

So they solve lots of things, lots of issues, but that is the one issue. They keep serving me. Oh, so the gummy is for things like... Everything, apparently. Sleepless nights or maybe headaches. Yeah, anxiety. Whatever.

It's a multi-purpose gummy. That sounds great. No, I'm not sure. I'm on the fence about these gummies. But that's the marketing campaign they're choosing to serve you. To serve to me. Yeah. Because I think you're assuming if I have an itching,

burning vagina. The whole area is inflamed. Anyway, I haven't bought the gummies and I haven't asked for any samples of the gummies. Anyway, we've got an email. What about the gummies? Yeah. Did we get? Didn't we get, we got an email.

Not from them. I'm sure we did. They're very popular brand, but they're not sponsoring us. And frankly, if that's the advert, I don't really want to be reading it. Okay. I'm just saying, imagine that host really. Hi, I suffer from an itchy anus, do you?

Then you'd have to say yes, I really do. But only at night. Hello, Lauren and Nicole, says DJ Penelope. DJ Penelope's email thus. Are you ready? I don't know who DJ Penelope is. You're about to. I'm a long-time listener of both 40-ish and self-care club

and a big fan of both shows. My first ever listen was the digital detox episode. I mean, you're going back. You're going back. That is an early episode. That's old school, yeah? When you tried to give up your phones for a few days. That was the first time we had a row.

Was it? Yeah. I love that you remember that. It's very monumental. Was it? Do you remember it with great fondness? Yeah. Do you?

Yeah. Okay. You both tried to give up your phones for a few days. Such a funny listen and I haven't looked back. Keep up the good work. Thank you. I was listening to your recent show with the lady who always did everything for everyone else and then no one did anything for her on her birthday.

I know. Awful. Awful. This is such a common issue. for women particularly in midlife. I have recently taken up a new hobby of making songs on Suno, an AI music generating platform where you come up with your own song ideas, design the style, write the lyrics,

and with a bit of AI magic, you make your own music. I mean, obviously our first song would be called Itchy Anus. Itchyness. This topic was so linked to the awesome. This topic was so on my mind that one of the songs I recently created is called What Do I Need? lifting soul track exactly about this. The songs are all free. They're just done for a bit of fun.

I thought you might find it a bit of an anthem. Women need to stop putting everyone else first and focus on what they need. Rant over. I am working on an album with the title may contain opinions. A title I thought you might like particularly Nicole focused on empowering tracks for women. That's very sweet. That's very sweet. The songs are on Spotify, Apple and YouTube.

Just Search DJ Penelope, which is my artist name. Ha ha. P.S. I am 58. I am not looking for any publicity. Please keep my real name anonymous. I just thought you would like the messages and the songs. Love the podcast.

Good luck with Jeff Lauren. All the best, DJ Penelope. Anyway. She wanted to stay anonymous. I went on to Spotify and I searched for DJ Penelope. Now, firstly, 10 points for managing to navigate Spotify and even find DJ Penelope. And I did.

And I listened to her songs. I have to tell you. 10 points for stuff. For fun. I have to tell you something. And I think that we are going to maybe. the outro the show with DJ Penelope's song, What Do I, it?

It's a banging track, is it? I'm not going to lie. I'd be honest, I wasn't expecting much. I thought, oh, she's AI'd her own songs. Some of the AI music is amazing. This is going to be weird. It's amazing. Can I just say, right?

I don't know if it's her actual voice, but if it is her actual voice, DJ Penelope, she's cracking. But she said, I'm working on the title, I'm working on the album, May Contain Opinions, a title I thought you might like, particularly Nicole. Yeah. Let's talk about that. Because to be honest with it.

you. Yeah. Out of the two of us. Yeah. Who's more opinionated? You are. Yeah. I don't know why people assume that I am the more opinionated one because we've had comments like this before.

So just in FYI, DJ Penel and she is so fucking opinionated. It's actually completely true. But the thing is you get the rep for being that one. Why? And I don't. Why? I don't know. I think it's tone.

So are you. It's tone. Yeah. It's different. I don't know. But it is absolutely true. I'm much more opinionated. You really are.

And judgmental whilst you're out. I am. This is, this is, it's an, it's accurate. Yeah. There's some building work going on outside here. The door while we're recording this. Anyway, I'm just saying,

when you have a moment. Going on to Suno. You don't, very quickly. Oh my God. Should we try and make a track called, Leaked to my asshole? We'll make it later and we'll see if we can fit it into the show.

We should play at the live show. No. Yes. Yes. No. I'm not talking about itchy anuses. Yes, of course we are. To a theatre audience.

That's why everyone's coming. My God. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're doing. This is not very high brow. Are you joking? No.

Since when has it been high brow? I mean, never, but there's, you know, there's a line. And I think we've just crossed it. No. I think we crossed it a long time ago. Tell me about the midlife news. Psychology is that the magazine says that midlife women prefer one to one

to one friendships over large groups it's not burnout it's a socio-emotional selectivity theory love it that everything has a professional title now yeah of course it is didn't you know that yeah of course I talk about socio and emotional selectivity theory all the time there's a growing trend among women in midlife

many are finding greater satisfaction in close one-to-one friendships and in large social gatherings. Psychology research suggests that as women move through their 40s, 50s and beyond, they become more selective about where they invest their emotional energy. Rather than maintaining broad social circles, they often prioritise a few deep, meaningful relationships that offer trust, understanding and genuine emotional support. You can share all the problems of your burning itching.

Genuine emotional support. Genuine. Do we give each other genuine emotional support? No, we so do. Do we? Yes. Why are you even questioning that? Like I don't offer that to you freely.

Not always. Not always. Not always. Not always. The other day when I was feeling really anxious and I said to you, I think my hormones are off. And you were like, well, have you called the gynecologist? I said, I have. He's like, right, okay, we'll do it.

Do it soon. Do it soon. I'm like, well, he's not in clinic today. I said he's not in clinic until Tuesday. Go to his house. Yeah. That is what you said. Go to his up.

It's so emotional support. That was self-protection. Experts explain that this shift is partly driven by life experience and changing priorities. Midlife often brings increased self-awareness, caregiving responsibilities, career demands and a stronger appreciation of authentic connection. Yeah, sure. Close friendships provide validation, companionship and emotional resilience without the pressure or exhaustion that sometimes comes with larger social events. Totally.

I mean totally. The preference isn't the sign of becoming less social, rather it's about valuing quality over quantity and choosing relationships that feel most nourishing and rewarding. I mean, yeah, all of that. All of that. Absolutely. I agree with all of, I mean, I do like a large gathering every now and then. Yeah, but every so often.

Like, I don't want it five nights a week. Because you don't really connect at those things. You can have fun. have a few drinks and the conversation is quite top line, which is fine. You can have a laugh, which is also important. Yes. But that emotional bonding and connection only happens in one to ones. Yeah.

Yes, absolutely. And definitely the older I've got, the less people I like. This disclaimer really, really clearly today because it needs to be said. Okay. Okay. We, Nicole, nor I are not doctors. And we are not... You just did a double negative.

What? You just did a double negative. What do you mean? You just said, we are not doctors. And it doesn't matter. I'm going to say it even clearer. Yeah, go on. Neither Nicole nor I are doctors or healthcare professionals.

No, we're not. We are. lay people. That is people who are not medically trained. So if there is an issue, a medical issue especially that you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. I'm saying this because in the last couple of weeks we have had three very explicitly medical dilemmas. Yeah. Now we can't reply to these on the show because it would be completely irresponsible. Yeah. And also we could give advice because we're not trained doctors that could be dangerous or we could get sued if you took our advice and it was not accurate.

So, so, but I think what we have to discuss is why women want to ask us and they want our opinion. And I think that kind, that stems from a place of feeling so bulldozed and not heard and ignored and neglected in healthcare. Yes. And I also think that they know that we will believe them. and we do believe you all of it, but we obviously cannot like read your blood test results, diagnose what might be going on with you. We can't do that because we're not doctors. So we love hearing from you.

And just to say, we have replied personally to all the people who've messaged us because we never ignore you and we want to acknowledge you and help you and, you know, we are very much invested, but we can't diagnose your medical issues. And I will say that a lot of the a lot of the questions that are coming in are from women that have been repeatedly to their GP

and have been repeatedly turned away or gaslit or dismissed. Or dismissed. Yeah. And that's not okay. None of that is okay. No. So we urge you to find a doctor that we'll listen. Yes.

And we're sending our love to you because we get it. We've been there. and it's a tough place to be when you are feeling so low. I had to have a long conversation with my friend this morning who was so confused about her options for HRT. She didn't understand it. She has been to the doctor maybe 20 times to try and get her HRT correct.

Okay? She's got a few complications that go alongside it, but it's not anything that can't be sorted out. And she was just saying to it, like she didn't know, she still didn't know what the coil did, She didn't know what the pills do. She didn't know why she needs to take the progesterone.

She doesn't even know if the estrogen is working and why she needs it. Like all of this stuff, which should be dealt with by a doctor, I sent her a few podcast episodes. I gave her all the information that I have. And I said, this is why and this is what you need to do in terms of, this is why you need progesterone. This is why you might go for testosterone. These are the reasons that they are prescribed.

And she was like, okay, I've got it now. Thank you. I think the bottom line of all of this is you have to educate yourself. You have to advocate for yourself. And if you don't think that your GP is being helpful, then please request to see a different GP at your surgery. But don't just go in, feel dismissed and go, oh well, never mind. I would like to signpost a few things.

There are certain doctors because obviously the research and the advice differs so wildly in the space and I think that is what is so confusing yeah so there are certain people that I follow and trust and Dr. Louise Newson is one of them she is an enormous menopause expert menopause advocate I mean it was thanks to her that we are even sitting here having this conversation in mainstream media now so please go and follow her work follow her on Instagram she's got a big social following she is on podcasts all the time and she is clearly and she gives very basic information of why you should be taking HRT.

And she is a trained GP and she knows exactly what she's talking about. And I really trust her. There was a panorama that held her in a terrible, terrible light last year. She nearly lost her practice over that. I know. And it was very dangerous and they nearly put her out of business. And she is helping thousands and thousands of women every single day, me being one of them.

So if you do need some signposting and you do need some advice and advice that you can trust, I point you over to her. Yeah. Good plan. What is the dilemma today? It is as follows. Hi ladies. I was at a girl's dinner with friends last night and at one point in the evening all the women had a jokey moment where they checked their husband's locations on their phones and compared notes. What? I was just wondering if you think it's normal or weird to use a tracking app to check on your husband. I'm 46, I don't and I never have

because I think it's a bit controlling and insecure but all my friends do and they think I'm crazy for not having one. My husband usually just tells me where he's going and then calls if he's running late and that's fine with me. Now I'm starting to wonder if I'm the weird one is using a tracking app on your spouse

really that common these days or are all my friends just making me feel insecure and old-fashioned. Love the pod, Amanda. Do you try to? Track your husband, Nicole Goodman. No. No. Actually, I tracked him yesterday because I wanted to see how far he was away from home.

So no, but yes. I don't track him because I don't trust him and I don't trust that he's where he says he is. I literally went on fire my iPhone. It was half past seven. I wanted to literally went to put the dinner in the oven. So if you wanted to, you have the ability to. Yes, but it would never, honestly, never occur to me that he is not where he says he is. so I don't.

I track my kids. I think that's from a safeguarding issue, especially since my eldest has started driving, I track her even more. But no to all of that. Just because you have the option to do so doesn't mean that you should and why are you not trusting that he is

where he says he is, and if he isn't where he says he is, there's an issue there. I'm not sure if they mean like they're tracking or if they just mean like they have him on, what is the thing, life 360 or find my, whatever. I think that's what they mean. They checked their husband's locations on their phones and compared the notes.

No, but I mean the same as you have, like they can see where they are. I don't mean like they've got a tracking device in the car like a bug. Yeah. They don't need one now. No, no. No one needs one now. No one needs one. My husband usually just tells me where he is and calls if he's running late.

Yes. That's it. Mine does the same. I mean, do you track your husband? I do not. No. I do not. No, well, you wouldn't.

Let's be honest Say why You wouldn't know how to We did kind of try once Because he was going somewhere And I was like You know I really should know We should like do this thing

And so I tried And then I said I'm going to share my location with you So you know if anything ever happens And then you know Then he's like you're not sharing with me I am I am look It just didn't So no

We don't I've actually recently put my parents On Find my iPhone Have you? Yeah, I have. Because my dad, quite a while ago now, about three, four months ago, had a fall. Oh, yeah. And I was actually four days post-stop.

So it was about three months ago. And I got a notification on my phone. Basically, his watch messaged me to say Tony Singer, hard fall, SOS. I mean, that is actually, it is amazing that that technology even exists. So I went on to it and it had. a pin of where he was. I could see exactly where he was. I wasn't driving. So I called my sister. I'm like, you've got to get here. Dad's, she said, yes, I know. I've also had the notification because we're his emergency contact. Okay. So when something happens like that,

the phone, yes. That's really clever. Or if like, God forbid, one of them has like a heart attack or something like that, it will inform me. That's so clever. Yeah. And actually, these track, these, these trackers, they are amazing. And the Apple Watch notified my friend's mum when she was having a stroke. Oh yes, I remember. They are really amazing pieces of equipment if they're used correctly, right? So after that, I was suddenly like,

well, you're not on fire my iPhone. I can't just see you. So we now share each other's locations. Just for safety. You know, they're getting older. They're coming into the 80s, my parents. They're really mobile and really, you know, all of it. But I still need to be aware of what's going on.

My mom doesn't wear an Apple Watch. So I was like, mom, I'm putting you on. She's like, okay, fine. I don't want to track my parents. Because my mom is like walking most of the heath most of the day. And my dad is like, buzzing around Soho, doing this, doing that. I would be like exhausted looking at my dad's movements. I don't sit there watching it.

I don't sit there watching it. But if something like that happens, I can go on straight away and know where they are. That's very sensible. Right. With husbands, that's a different thing. No, because that's not a safeguarding thing. Like when I track my kids, it's not. I don't actually, I don't track the kids because,

when the first two first got a phone, there wasn't a thing. There wasn't a thing. So you couldn't do it. So I just never did. And you know what? They managed to get to their 20s and they're fine. The little one, I do share a location with him because often I'm picking him up. So I want to see where he is. And I also want him to see where I am. So that's just a safety thing.

But Ollie and I don't have find my iPhone on each other. The thing is, if it's kind of... But also where am I? I'm either with him or I'm with you. My husband asks me every single solitary morning when I get up at 6th, o'clock every single morning where are you going yeah i go to the same place you're either at the gym playing paddle with him or with me yeah so that's it right literally it yeah i know i actually don't think i go anywhere else no i don't either i mean sometimes i go to the post office i mean i might go and get my nails and i go to waitrose literally um if it's coming from it depends what's behind it if you're

doing it because you don't trust him that's a problem yeah if you're doing it because you just share each other's occasions okay who cares yeah but i would know never think to track Adam because I don't trust where he's told me he is. Never. The only thing it would be handy for is if all he's like, I'm leaving soon and then I like put the pastor on, but he's not 12 minutes away. That would be handy. But apart from that, no. That's exactly, that's exactly it. Yeah. That is exactly it. And also I checked his location last night. He was in town. Oh, yeah. What was he doing? He was working. I knew he was working and I knew he was in town. And I was so happy he was still in town because it meant, oh, I've got a whole hour to watch my program.

If that's not middle-aged, I don't know what is. Amanda, I don't think that you're... I'm with you, Amanda. I don't think you're old-fashioned and I do think your friends are making you insecure. Probably not on purpose, but I don't think you need to start tracking your husband because they track theirs. I think it's fine. And if you trust your husband and it's like... Just no.

Just no to all of it. I don't like it. Yeah. Leave it alone. It's fine. Yeah. Okay. My meltdown is it's twofold.

One, I mean, it's very short. I'm just going to make it so short. Number one, vet fees and bills. Oh my God, I swear my dog's hysterectomy is going to cost more than yours. Like, it is, my jaw dropped to the floor when I was sent to the quote. She didn't have to have, she won't have to have two repairs. She won't have to have any repairs. She won't be on HRT.

I just need her to not be pregnant. She won't go on HRT. No, don't go on HRT. She's going to be immediately menopausal next month. And you know what, she's going to be fine. I just have to reduce her food a little. That's why Miley was so moody this morning with Bieber. Why? Because she's still got her uterus.

No, she hasn't got her uterus. No, because Bieber's still got her uterus. You think she was jealous. Go fuck yourself. Yeah. I don't feel like that. You're still so fertile. Well, I don't feel like that with you.

I'm not still so fertile. I don't want to break it to you. The kids said the other day something about having another baby and I said, are you being funny. Do you know how old I am right? They were like, yeah, I went kids. I don't mean to be, I don't mean to like upset you, but I'm too old to have a baby now.

I'm 48. You're like, no. You're not too old. I mean, you could have a baby. I think it'd be quite difficult. Yeah, it would be. Right. I was like, I definitely couldn't have a baby now.

It would be hard for you, yeah. And I'm not carrying one for you. I'm just saying. I'm not asking, by the way. So vets bills, that's number one. Number two, I'm just, I just don't care about the World Cup. I don't either. I don't care.

I don't either. And I have three football watching. And it's all going to be, it's all I'm going to hear. Just don't care. I don't care who wins. I don't care who loses. I don't care who's in it. I don't care who's out.

I don't want to watch it. I don't want to see every crisp packet covered in for every single item, every advert, every diet Coke. Yeah. Everything is World Cup branded. I don't care. Yeah. That's it.

Do you care? So I said to me to say something about the World Cup starts tomorrow. It does. Eight o'clock. Apparently. Yeah. And he was like, oh, I've had to arrange my pad, because it was on the paddle court, obviously. Yeah.

I've had to rearrange my paddle game because of the World Cup. Yeah. And I said to him, I, if I couldn't care less if I tried. Like, I'm going to try to care less, but it's not possible to care even less than I already do about the World Cup. No. It doesn't even reach my, it just. No. But you're also in a girl household.

So. I mean, there's more conversation about Love Island than there is about the World Cup. It doesn't touch your house. I've had all, oh, it's something to my night. Oh, 8 o'clock, I'm like, it's just all that's going to happen is you're going to invade my living room. Yeah. All the programs are going to be on at the wrong times because World Cup this and overrunning this and penalty shootout and this. I don't like, I don't like the drinking culture.

I don't like the fact that domestic violence goes up when it's the World Cup. When England lose. Yeah. It's terrible. I don't like the culture. I just, I don't care. Yeah, I know. I know.

We sound like we care, but we don't care. We're just getting irate about how little we care. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then Adam said to me, oh, should we invite some friends around to watch the World Cup? I'm not sure. Who?

Who? Who are you inviting around? His friends. He has friends. Do they love football? Well, I assume. I mean, I can't think of anything. I would enjoy less than a World Cup party.

If he wants invite his friends round for a pizza and to watch the World Cup and have a beer, go for it. You can come to my house while if he does that. I will sit. Upstairs and happily watch Bravo. Yeah, totally. Totally. I just don't care. I don't even know who's playing.

I don't care who's playing. Oh, I get told. When we're playing? When are we playing? Don't tell me. I don't care. I actually don't know what we're playing. I don't know.

I just don't care. And also when you say when are we playing, it's like you've put yourself, you're invested. I'm not invested. I wouldn't even say we. I would still say we're in England. Listen to meltdown. Hello.

Hello, ladies. Long time listener to both pods, first time messenger, wondered if you and all your listeners could help. I am nearly 42, extremely neurodivergent. I have OCD, ADHD and autism, and I am definitely perimenopausal.

Oh my God, that is a right salad there. I want to start taking some kind of vitamin mineral supplement to help me with my very chaotic brain and overall health. I recently visited boots and my God, aisles and aisles of magic, powders, pills and the like, all claiming to be miracle workers. Of course, I became.

very overwhelmed and left empty handed. I'm not surprised. So my question is, what should I be taking any recommendations? Help! Love to you both wonderful humans, Jay. Okay, right. Go on.

Well, what I was going to say is, over at self-care club, we talk to a lot of doctors. We do. It sounds dry, but it's not. It's actually very, very interesting. It's very juicy. Oh, don't say wet.

G cheesy. Do they make it weird? Why did you just make it weird? It's not dry. There's a queen for that. I've got it at home. That's Anna Gummy. It's not dry or itchy.

Anyway. Right. I'm actually going to give some actual feedback here. Okay? We speak to a lot of doctors. We do. Now, whether they are in gynaecology, E&T, cardiology, sports recovery,

like whatever field they are in, the advice is the same. it is lifestyle first. Before you prescribe anything, take anything, and go for that magic pill that is going to sort everything out, you have to make sure that your lifestyle is aiding your challenges. And that starts with sleep, that starts with exercise, what you're eating, how you're hydrating,

and how stressed you are. And if you're socialising. And if you're socialising. Like these things are really, really, really important to you feeling calmer and better and have more well-being in your space. Yes. Also, Jay, you do not say if you're taking any medications for your OCD or for your ADHD. So anything that you should choose to take in boot, you need to check in case it's contraindicated with your medication.

So don't take anything. What a word. Thanks. Don't take anything unless you know that first. Also, are you on HRT? You said you've got perimenopause or symptoms. Because ADHD and the like can get worse with menopause. So are you?

I mean, there is someone in my life that has really bad ADHD. But her ADHD has like quadrupled in terms of the impact that it's having on her life through her perimenopause. We are going to do a show on this on self-care club. We are. Yes. There are three things you can take. But I'm saying this because they're not harmful things. But how do you know this?

because vitamin D doesn't harm anyone on anything and also so many people in the UK are deficient in vitamin D because we don't get enough sunshine so you could just take vitamin D you can take magnesium which is really good for neurodivergent perimenopausal brains and can help with sleep and you could take an amigamiga three fish oil

for brain function and that might also help with mood regulation but you might not need any of those things no but I like the mushrooms as well Ah, okay, so I also like neutropics and the mushrooms, and I also like aschwaganda, but they are not always a great idea if you are neurodiverse. Lions main, I mean, I find that a real focus.

Because I did look into it, and with some neurodiverse issues, it's not always recommended to take neutropics or aschwaganda. Can I just say, though, well, it's very beautiful and thank you so much for bringing that, Laura Mish, on. You are. And doing the research and looking into that properly. Welcome. But I would definitely encourage you to look at your sleep, look at your diet. I agree. I mean, those two things, they kind of go hand in hand, don't they?

I agree. Look at your alcohol intake, whether you're smoking or not. Like your lifestyle and maybe tweaking that is going to help you and aid you so much more than probably any supplement or anything you can buy at boots. The thing is there are aisles and aisles of this stuff and it does feel endless and the truth is none of them are a miracle and none of them are going to like magically fix anything. You know and it's really only if you are actually deficient. Like if you are actually deficient in iron and you're exhausted, you need iron. But most of us don't need that. But there's not one thing like the magnesium is not, if you're not doing anything else around it. Yeah.

The magnesium isn't going to be able to cut through all of that. Of course not. sleep deprived and you're completely stressed out or you've eaten chocolate bars and you haven't eaten a piece of fruit for two days like it's just not going to help yeah so all of those things they can aid your lifestyle and they can help you but not on their own yeah yeah yeah so steer clear from boots and do the free stuff yeah that's what we've learned after six and a half years on self-care club haven't we we really have yeah okay that's it I feel exhausted it's a good show maybe you need magnesium.

Maybe it needs my iron. Maybe I need to make an AI song. Maybe you need to eat. Maybe you need to sleep. I've done both of those things. I'm in tip top shape. Right, let's go. Okay.

See you soon. See you soon. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for writing in and being such an enormous part of this show. We appreciate every single one of you. We. I said we. No, I know.

We. We. We, W-E. appreciate every single one of you on our O-U-R show. I appreciate every single one of you on my show. Me and me too. You see how that lands? It lands very differently.

I appreciate every single one of you on my show. Yeah. We appreciate every single one of you on our show. Thank you for having me on. You're not welcome.