40ish - I told a huge lie, sex dreams & James Nesbitt

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

This week on 40ish we are diving into a listener’s crush that's ruining her life. We choose our middle age Spice Girl names. Nicole is asked out by Jimmy Nesbitt and is convinced Lauren is having sex dreams about her. Plus, one listener has her got herself in hot water after telling a whopping lie about her mother-in-law and she’s about to get caught out. We would love to hear from you! Please share your dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Go to ZOE.com to find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. You can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 to get 10% off membership. As a ZOE member, you’ll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. Use 40ISH10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello clubbers. Do you know that Self Care Club and 40ish, our other podcast, have a subscription? Well, we are here to tell you that we do. It's on Apple podcast and you can find it there. All you have to do is click on our show and just scroll down and you will see the subscription there. For $3.99 a month, you get early access access bonus episodes and everything ad free so please come along and join us and for the next two weeks only we have halved

the price of an annual subscription so if you want a real bargain go over now whilst the half price sale is still on What middle-aged Spice Girl would you be? Tupperware Spice. He's very charming. I've actually met James Norton before. Mine was about James Norton. He actually asked me out. James Norton?

Lesbic. I'm sorry to tell you, it wouldn't be that weird for you to have a sex dream about me. I'm sorry it wouldn't. I'm sorry it would. No, I'm sorry. Disagree. Hello everybody, welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcon. Can I tell you what's going on this week? I was on hold to the vet for a while, a lengthy amount of

time. They're obviously dealing with something. So they put me on hold and I had to listen to the hold music. Do you have hold music at your vet? You go to the vet a lot more than I do. Yeah. Well, the hold music is, it's a catchy little tune. What is it? That's the tune. What is that? Is that a song? I don't fucking know. It's the vet holding music. Anyway. Oh, it's not an actual song. No, it's when they say, hello vet. Can you just hold a moment please?

And then they play. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Anyway. So I was, you know, I've been listening to it for a long time. I speak to the vet eventually. I put the phone down and I'm driving somewhere and five minutes later I can hear, hello, hello, hello. And I'm thinking like who is

talking? I'm alone in the car. Who is talking to me? And I, I realized that I have hit a phone number on my phone. Someone else has answered it and I have been singing the vet theme, the vet theme tune music to them for I don't know how long and they've been listening to it. Were you sitting in the car singing to yourself? Singing it. Shit. It's a person so I just put the phone down really quickly. So you don't know who it was? I do know who it was. Who was it? I checked later.

Who was it? It was. Who was it? It was the lighting shop. The lighting shop? Yeah. there was a man in the lighting shop called Daniel. Why are you calling the lighting shop? Why have you got the lighting shop in your phone book? I had some issues with light that I bought from him. Some complications arose and I had to go and visit him twice and phone him quite a few times to fix this problem. So he was in my phone, but now I've sung to him so I can never ever, ever, ever go back and see Daniel. You are slowly working your way through all the local businesses that you can no longer visit. I

basically can't go to the dentist. I can't go to the dentist. I cannot go to the hygienist. I basically need to move. What happened though? You held her hand. That's right. You held her hand. That was last week. Let's go over that. You held the hygienist hand when she just wanted your bib. So now you can't go back there and now you can't go back to the lighting store. Okay. You know what? You've done worse. I have done worse. It's so true. So true. Well, I played a little game this weekend, which I really wanted to bring here because I think it's going to be really good fun. An actual game. Well, define game. I mean, I don't want to like build your hopes up, but to me it was a game. It might be a

game to you. Okay. When you say an actual game. Yeah. Is it like a game you made up? It's a game we made up. Oh, okay. I was away this weekend on a girls trip. Yeah. And, um, we were at dinner and we do have a few cocktails and we played a game of if you had to be a Spice Girl, what Spice Girl would you be? Now it wasn't like, oh, I'll be Scary Spice, I'll be Posh Spice. You had to make up your own Spice Girl. Oh, I see. But it was like women in their 40s slash 50s, because we were away from my friend's 50th, that version of Spice Girl. So it was a middle-aged, what middle-aged Spice Girl would you be? Tupperware Spice. age spice girl would you be? Tupperware spice. No, I have to choose yours. Oh, I see. So we had, um, one was sweaty spice. Oh dear. Yeah. One was neurotic spice. She wasn't happy about that. One was vintage spice. Yeah. Nice. I know exactly who, which of your friends you're describing when you're saying this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was vintage spice. Yeah, nice. I know exactly who, which of your friends you're describing when you're saying this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was vintage spice. And

then my friend, Sarah was, well, we didn't quite define Sarah, but I think she was eventually, she kept calling herself sensible spice, but we were like, that's not sexy. You can't have sensible spice. Anyway, I now need to choose yours. I haven't actually thought about it. What was yours? I'm going to get there. Oh, I'm going to get there because I want to know what spice girl you would choose for me. Oh, wow. Talk about being put on the spot. Tupperware spice. Yeah. Hmm. Something like to do with how shit you are with tech. I'm actually getting really much better with tech. I think that's actually a bit of a slur. I was about to say it was a racial slur, but it's not a racial slur. I think

that's a tad dramatic. It's a technical slur. It's just a slur of my personality. You're not techie spice. I'm not techie spice. You're not techie spice. I'm not techie spice. No. Because we did this with our Top Gun call names. Yes. Yeah. That was a lot easier. What were you? Steadfast. Yeah. And I was H2O. H2O.

H2O was good. Yeah. So I was steadfast actually. It was really good. Yeah. Yeah. I know you could be steady spice. I like that.

I thought you might. You could be hydrated spice. Actually don't feel that hydrated today. You could be well hydrated spice. feel that hydrated today. Well hydrated spice. No, hydrated spice. It's not, it's not got a ring to it as it. No, you could be HRT expert spice.

I was hit. And that brings me onto what spice girl I was. Which one were you? Menopausal spice. Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer. Oh, we are not doctors or healthcare professionals. It's a fun space where we share our thoughts. Which could be totally and utterly wrong. And if there is an issue that you are seriously struggling with please contact a qualified expert. What is our first dilemma of the day? Dear Lauren and Nicole, okay so fluctuating hormones at 47 have apparently decided to spice up my life in a way I wasn't prepared for. Oh, you're never prepared, never prepared. I feel you. I've

got myself stuck in a situation called limerence, which in case you're not familiar, is just a fancy term for a crush, a psychological state of being obsessed with another person. It's basically an involuntary... Limerence, I've never heard of that. Neither had I. It's an involuntary, all-consuming romantic attachment to someone even when it's not reciprocated and it is the best description of what is happening to me. I am married, he's got a girlfriend and yet I'm spending my days obsessing over him. I've got the full package. Sex dreams, stomach flips and my brain replaying scenes all day long in and out of the office. It's basically like I'm 14 again, except now I have a weak pelvic floor and a mortgage.

Ah, sexy. I have absolutely zero intention of acting on this, but how the hell do I turn it off? We work in the same department, so avoiding him is impossible. Any tips on how to stop this without quitting my job or moving to a convent? Oh dear, that is unfortunate. I feel for her. I have had a crush on someone at work before previous to meeting Adam. In fact, it wasn't, it was just before I met Adam. I had such a crush on him and he was a fellow hairdresser and

I was working this hairdresser in town at the time. I would like rush my clients through if I saw that he was kind of hanging around reception waiting for his next client, just so I could get a couple of minutes with him, just to talk to him. I had such an infatuation with this guy. And then I don't know how it happened, which is probably not very helpful. I just went off him. I just went off him. Was he ever into you? Well, I don't think so. You never showed any interest. It was completely unrequited. I don't love and I don't think he wasn't love crush and I don't think he knew how wasn't love. Crush. And I don't think he knew how I felt. Okay. I was absolutely mad about him for about six weeks. But it's kind of okay because you

were single. Yes. But she is married and he has a girlfriend and she doesn't want a relationship with him. She's just obsessed with him. I wonder what that is about. My feeling is that it's not really about him. She said it's hormonal and it's more about her. Yeah. Yeah. And what's going on for her. And perhaps we've said this on the show before, perhaps she could put all of that pent up frustration and longing into her marriage and maybe spice up her sex life in her own marriage. If that's what it's about, it might be something really subconscious. She's having sex dreams. Yeah. I had one of those last week.

Was it about me? Because I'm the only other person you work with. Oh no, you work with James. No, it wasn't about either of you. That's weird. Put that thought away immediately. No, it's only because she said she works in the same department. You work in the same department as me.

I didn't say I had a sex dream about someone I work with. I just had a sex dream. And then a few nights later, I had another dream. I'm sorry to tell you, it wouldn't be that weird for you to have a sex dream about me. I'm sorry it wouldn't. I'm sorry it would. No, I disagree. I'm sorry, but it would.

Why? Why? Because I'm not it would. No I disagree. I'm sorry but it would. Why? Why? Don't be mean. Why? Because I'm not gay. So? I've never had... are we going here? We're here.

I've never had a sex dream about a woman or involving a woman. Not even subconsciously am I curious in that department. I'm just not. That's just how I'm built. I'm trying to think if I have. Have you? No I'm trying to think if I have. Have you? No, I'm trying to think. Have you had a sex dream about me?

And is this like some sort of transference? And this is your way of trying to tell me, but you don't really want to talk about it, but you clearly do. Have you? No. Okay, good. Not that I'm aware of.

I think you'd be aware. I think it would make things really awkward. Yeah. Anyway, I haven't. Okay, good. Because now we've gone into an area where we both might have a sex view of each other and that's not okay. I just don't think that's going to happen. And I do think it was going to happen.

It would have happened by now. Yeah. It's, it's okay. I'm just saying we have like, I've often said that we kind of fell like in plutonic love, didn't we? There's difference between platonic love and sex. They're not the same thing. No, I know. But it's like an infatuation.

Like you have a crush on someone. I really, really like you. But you can stay dressed at all times. But you probably without you even knowing about it, I don't even know what pushing this point. You probably had a crush on me without even realizing okay and I probably had a crush on you did you well like when you first met we got to know each other and yeah blah blah blah plutonic crush for sure for sure okay my it's really weird because normally out

the two of us are in the prude and here I'm pretty about it it's just I don't want to shag you I'm sorry I don't want to shag you. I'm sorry. I don't. You don't need to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're very attractive. I like you very much as a person. You're nice on the inside and the outside. Thanks. But it's your own business. You can keep all your bits and pieces to yourself. Good. Please. Thank you. Because then it might be, then we might have an issue like within the workplace. And then we would. Yeah.

We would. We would. My sex dream was about James Norton. Oh, he's hot. I mean, I don't really ever think about James Norton. At first I'd stopped for a minute because I was thinking Tommy. You were thinking. I was actually thinking James Nesbitt.

No, I love James Nesbitt. And he was in that shit thing on Netflix that you made me watch Missing You. He's all right. He's very charming. I've actually met James Nesbitt before. Mine was about James Norton. He actually asked me out. James Norton? Nesbitt. James Norton. Nesbit. James Nesbit asked you out. Okay, come on. Last week we were talking about Clooney and Pitt.

This week we're talking James Nesbit. My health story. There wasn't much of a story. He asked me out. Where did you see him? Well, I used to work in TV, didn't I? You forget. My world used to be around celebrities. I need context. Where were you see him? Well, I used to work in TV, didn't I? You forget, you forget. My world used to be around celebrities. I need context. Where were you? I was working. Where? On a TV show. Which one? He was a guest. Yeah. That came on. Was it Richard and Judy? It was. That's a random guest to get it right. I'm very, very sorry. Anyway, he was one of the guests and he asked me out. How did he ask you out? I can't really remember. Oh I

think he asked me out on the phone. Did he ask me out on the phone? How did he get your number? It was a very very long time ago. He came on Rich and Judy, sat on the sofa with Rich and Judy promoting his latest BBC drama, then he left the set and then he saw you. I think it was Cold Feet Days actually. Cold Feet Days. He saw you little hotie with your makeup tools in your hair dryer. Yeah. He asked for your number. Yeah. They rang you up. He said, you're on a call.

You're on a call with me. And you said, no thanks. Well, I must have said no because we didn't go out, did we? Wow. Why would I say no to James Nesbitt? Because I do find him quite attractive. Because he's not James Norton. I do find James Nesbitt quite attractive. Do you? Well, you know, because

we, we, we had a moment. Yeah. We had a moment. We had a moment. I've never had a moment with Nesbitt or Norton, but I can tell you for some reason Norton and I were doing a play involved babies. We were some for some reason, putting them in cradles. Why? Why? I don't know. We were putting them in cradles why why I don't know we were putting them in cradles and patting them to sleep and then we sort of I can't tell you stop gonna stop you what there is really nothing nothing more boring than other people's dreams yeah I just say it was a really good kiss I know it's interesting to you it was a really good but it's not interesting to anyone else and let me tell you something because you've got a

step further you've actually brought it to the show I I know. It's just, it's not okay. But do you ever have that dream where it's like such a good kiss? It's not okay. And it's so real. I can't remember the last sex dream I had. Don't make me say those things. Oh, but it's all right to ask you if I've had a sex dream about you and if I secretly want to have sex with you.

I didn't ask you that. I didn't ask you that. I didn't. Did the words and if I secretly want to have sex with you. I didn't ask you that. I didn't ask you that. I didn't. Did the words do you secretly want to have sex with me come out my mouth? That is where you were headed. No, it wasn't. Because quite frankly, I don't want to know the answer. The answer is no. In case you're still in any doubt. I think we might need to go to therapy about this. I don't know why it got weird. It's got really weird. Yeah, okay.

Let's move on. Please. We haven't solved what we're doing with this one. This poor lady is like writing into us having this terrible limerence situation. I never heard that word. I haven't either. I had to look it up. I had to look up how to resonate. You can tell her that you had a limerence over me. It's fine. Tell her that you resonate. I'm joking. I'm doing it to wind you up.

Okay. Sorry. You know what? You'd have a real problem if I just took you out to the toilets now and tried to kiss you. Then you'd have a problem. So I just don't because I'll call your bluff and then they'll be in trouble. And then James will have to step in. We'll have to call HR. Who's HR? Who's HR?

You or me? Jessie, who's HR? You or me? We're the only people in our company so you choose which of us is HR. Listen, I don't want you to try and kiss me. Okay, good. Okay. Okay, good.

Because I'm not. Right, help this woman please. I don't think you would do that anyway. If I'm just saying I don't think I don't think you would take that role. I don't I think you would wait for it to happen. I think you would wait for the other person to make the first move. Do you? Yeah. Interesting. I do. I do. Well, maybe the hidden lesbian in you is more forthcoming. I don't know. It's got weird. You made it weird. Please help this woman. What does she ask? How

to get out of her limerence? Listen. How does she turn it off? Her crush? You just have to be a grown up about it. And you say it's a crush. It doesn't mean anything. There's something deeper going on for me. And he is just a reflection of what is going on within myself. I agree.

I think this is a hormone thing. I think she's going through a like midlife, hormonal, what does my perimenopause mean about my attractiveness, sexuality, fertility in the world and she's kind of putting it on this bellow. It's good that she's got such a strong libido. Go you, good for her. It's great. Because a lot of women at 47 that are very hormonal have zero libido. I did look into limerence, basically said it does fade. It fades. You just ignore it. You just leave it alone. It's like not scratching the itch. And then it just kind of eventually

fades. And then one day I reckon in about three months you'll look at him across the office and you'll be like, I absolutely smashed that. Did we? You smashed it. Did we? Hello everybody. If you are enjoying this episode, could we please request that you share it with a friend who you think could do with a laugh. We would be so grateful.

Thank you so much. And also if you're really loving it, please rate and review. Lauren, you know me and you know when it comes to answering the listeners' dilemmas and when it comes to food, I always trust my gut. And I also trust Zoe, the leading size and nutrition company. All the nutritionists that we've spoken to on Self Care Club have highlighted just how much misleading information is out there when it comes to food. Things like the claims that you see on packaging that say things like low sugar or nothing artificial. These are often assigned to actually avoid these foods. Ever noticed a health claim on fresh fruit?

No, never. Right, well you get my point. So it's completely understandable why there's so much distrust and wondering who you should turn to for accurate information. Well it's very simple, it's not a dilemma for us, we use Zoey. Backed by one of the world's largest microbiome databases and most scientifically advanced at-home gut health tests, Zoey gives you proven science whenever you need it. Go to Zoey.com and find out what Zoeyhip could do for you. And because you listen to 40ish, you can use the exclusive code 40ish10 at checkout to

get 10% off membership. As a Zoe Member, you'll get an at-home test kit and personalised nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. That's z-o-e dot com, use code ish ten at checkout. Trust your gut, trust Zoe. Fandual Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants his last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on

FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. So, Lauren, basically we write down, right, things that we're going to talk about, don't we? In between the dilemmas. And Lauren wrote down something and I saw it in the script and it basically said, she broke her zip on her jumpsuit. That is the topic everybody. So, settle in. We are up for a very exciting segment right now. Come on, give it to us. We are ready to hear about the story with your broken zip on your jumpsuit. You picked it up. I'm not sure. I'm not sure if there's any left mystery left in this story, but we've heard about her crap dream with James Norton.

And now we're going to hear about her broken zip on a jumpsuit. I went to have dinner in a very nice hotel in the countryside for my son's 21st. I had to come up on the train. I packed a very nice hotel in the countryside for my son's 21st. I had to come up on the train. I packed a very nice jumpsuit to wear for the dinner. I got there. It was dinner time. I ran to the room. Is everyone still on the edge of their seat deciding where this is going? Or it could go either way, couldn't it? I'm not telling you the story. I'm not telling you the story now. You don't deserve it.

You don't deserve it. It was a very... Nothing else interesting has happened this week apart from a broken fucking zip. Oh, I know. I've got a really interesting story because yesterday we left the studio because we were recording yesterday as well and I stopped by the dry cleaners to pick up my dry cleaning, and I asked them how much it would cost to replace my zip on a coat. Yes, you did. Well, Lauren was overcome with excitement, and did she dominate the conversation after that?

Because she started telling the dry cleaners about the broken zip on her jumpsuit. I was like, excuse me, I'm sure I was having a conversation with herers about the broken zip on her jumpsuit. I was like, excuse me. I sure I was having a conversation with her about my fucking broken zip. Anyway, the woman gave us both a quote and you trotted up that road. You were so happy with yourself, weren't you? So I had to hear the story about the broken zip. It's like, what, can I hear it again? Oh, I can't cope. I can't cope. My ribs hurt. I know we're supposed to talk about mundane stuff and make it funny.

It was mundane. But it's not particularly middle aged. Or, I mean, it's like, how are we supposed to make that remotely entertaining? Well, we managed actually. I don't know, but it did. I had to go to dinner in my train clothes, in my train outfit because I couldn't do it up and I had to, you know, it was. You know, I do know because I've now heard it twice. It was a whole mishigas. Was it? Yeah, it really was.

The whole thing. It was a whole thing. Yeah. Didn't need to make it to the show though, did it? Well, it really was. The whole thing. It was a whole thing. Yeah. Didn't need to make it to the show though, did it? Well it did! You seem very good about solving the dilemmas today. Really honest. Right, I'm going to read the next one. Come on then. Don't get distracted by my boobs. Why would I get distracted by your boobs? Because you secretly love me. Because you're secretly in limerence with me.

I'm your secret limerence crush. Not so secret now. I'm in secret crush with you. It's not so secret now you've said it. It's fine. Right. You know what? Apparently it's just gonna fade.

Okay. So we're all good. Good. Okay. We don't know who this is from. It's anonymous. They always are. They're not always.

Mostly. Hello. I'm in my 30s, but love your show and I have a big dilemma. Oh, spill it. I have been working in marketing for a drinks company for five years. Early on I was desperate to go away with my new boyfriend who had planned a romantic trip to Florence. I told my boss that his mother had died and I needed two days of compassionate leave at short notice to attend the funeral. Oh, I don't like this.

I never think you should lie about things like this. Okay. Anyway, fast forward to now. And this same boyfriend and I getting married. Congratulations. The invites have gone out. It was only, Oh, I know where this is going. It was only recently when we were thinking about a honeymoon destination that I remembered what I had done and that both my boss and my future mother in law, who is very much alive, will be at the wedding. What do I do? Okay, I've got an, I feel like I've got an immediate solution to this because you know I always have a six second plan for everything. I would just completely avoid the conversation and the topic and then if at any juncture they should meet at the wedding or afterwards at the

office. But they don't have to meet for the boss to know that the mother-in-law is there. No, I know. But obviously she'll be there and she'll be quite prominent because she's the groom's mother. But I'm saying should they meet at the wedding or afterwards when they're back at the office, he's like, oh, I met your husband's dead mother. I would just say, I would just build on the lie and I would say, Oh no, no, no, that's not his mother. That's his stepmother. He remarried. Okay. I have, because it's been five years. He could have remarried. So unless he does a whole thing in his groom speech where he's like, I'm my mother over here. She looks so beautiful today. And then, you

know, groom speech, they do normally mention all the parents that are there. And they do also mention parents that have passed. Oh, my God, of course, because he would say like, I'm so sad. She's looking down on us and blah, blah, blah. I'm so sad. I wish my mum was here today to see our special day. OK, I would have to tell my fiancee, listen, I told the lie, we had the Florence trip, so you cannot mention your mum in our wedding speech. And then there'll be a whole beef with the mum and the new bride and that is not how she needs

to start her new relationship with her mother-in-law. She's really fucked, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry listening, but you have fucked yourself. Yeah, I mean, that's really fucked. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry listener, but you have fucked yourself. Yeah. I mean, that's not amazing. No. Also, I thought that was a good get out, but it's actually not. Can I just also say that I would never, ever, ever suggest that you lie about being ill or about someone dying? Totes. And I always say that to the children. Because I think it's bad karma. Yeah, I agree. I agree. I agree. I always say that to children, never lie about being ill. Same. Why? Why do we do that? Why do we say that? Because I don't think you should tempt fate. And I think if you've got your health, you should be grateful enough

and not lie about it. Well, she was just lying about her mother-in-law's health, not her own. Yeah, but that's not amazing. But she understands that it was a mistake. It's a mistake now. I have got the best idea. Go on. She could tell the truth. How many times do we have to have this conversation? Never tell the truth. No, this is the only way out of it without looking like a total idiot. What does she say? Let's roleplay that. She says... I'll be the boss. Hi Nicole, how's your Wednesday going? I can't wait to come to your wedding. You're a peppy boss.

I've even bought a new suit. Oh, I'm so pleased. We're so excited to have you. Funny story. Oh yeah? You know when I said about five years ago that I was going to Florence for my mother-in-law's funeral? Turns out I lied because actually what I wanted to do was go away for a couple of days with my new boyfriend at the time who's now going

to be my husband. You're fired. He's not going to fire her. I'm not going to fire her five years later. Nicole, I took you on. Hold on, hold on. I've just had an absolute, just a moment. Yeah. If he's coming to her wedding, yeah, they must be friendly. Well, yeah, they must socialize. Yeah. They must. They must. So when you're out having a few drinks, that's when you say it. By the way, Richard, my mother-in-law's not dead. She's sitting over there. By the way, you're going to meet my mother-in-law and I know I told you a little white lie. When I started the job, I was on a shagging fest in Florence with my new boyfriend. Yeah, maybe leave the word shagging out, but yeah, because he's still a boss.

It's really risky. The whole thing is really risky. I don't know why she invited him. Well, you're right. They obviously must be have a relationship to be inviting him. Is it the whole department that know that he's... Well, she wouldn't have had to tell the whole department. She just needed the two days off. She didn't need to tell her boss. She wouldn't need to like announce it in the department. Hi everyone, my boyfriend's mother's died. I actually just think this is a cautionary tale to all that are listening. Don't lie about death. Don't lie about illness. It's a cautionary tale. I mean, I feel like most people should know

that. She didn't. She does now. What are we just saying? I bet she tells her kids, her future kids, not to lie about health or death now. Are we just going to say to her, listen, sorry, you've made your bed now lie in it? Basically. No, I've given very good advice. Yours was ridiculous. I would just say concoct a story. You would say tell the truth. What story? He was told the mother-in-law was dead. She's now going to be sat at the wedding and in the speeches.

I was just going to say, listen, it's a really... Lauren, she's going to be walking him down the aisle. Yeah, she totally is. Right? Okay. You know what I would say? I'd be like, Richard, this is a really, this is really funny. But do you remember five years ago when I needed that time off, um, for my mother-in-law's funeral? Well, she just made this miraculous recovery. They thought she was going to die, but she didn't die. No, no, because she was in a coma. She said funeral.

She'd already died. No, she'd already died. Well, I thought she was dying. Or she could say Richard. Do you remember when I went for my mother-in-law's funeral? Well, it turns out I completely lied because I wanted two days off. Well, it turns out we went to the funeral and as we were in the church, we heard a knocking on the coffin and she wasn't dead. I know it's unbelievable. Whoever's listening to this, whoever is still with us, please write in over whose idea is better. Or if you've actually got a solution for this woman. And hurry up, it sounds like the wedding's soon.

We have a solution. We have a solution. She must be shitting herself. Yeah. That's a show. I'm 40ish. Oh God, and my ribs hurt from the laughing. Do they?

Oh good. That's a good show. Is it? Well it is for us. Yeah, I had the same problem with my ribs when I was trying to do up the jumpsuit. Yeah, I can't listen. If I have to listen to this jumpsuit for a third time. We're about to pass the dry cleaner again. Are you going to go back in? Did you bring the jumpsuit? Now I forgot. Yeah. Okay. I don't think this is going to be the end of the fucking jumpsuit. We'll

be back on Tuesday. We'll be back on Tuesday. Thank you so much for listening. If you want to be in touch, hello at 40 ish, that's 40ish.co.uk. Please send us any dilemmas. Oh my God. Lauren just stopped me from saying our email address because she said we don't have an email. We do have an email. Hello at 40ish.co.uk. That's 40ish.co.uk. So please email us just to prove to Lauren that we do have an email. Yes. Okay. That's great. I thought people just DM'd us on Instagram 40ish.podcast. No, no, they email us. Oh, that's great. DM thought people just DM'd us on Instagram 40ish.podcast. No, no, they email us.

Oh, that's great. And DM us. You can get hold of us however you like. Okay, because I... Again, I'm head of tech. You are head of tech, but these dilemmas, they came in on a DM. Just saying. So that's why I thought it. And then I sent you one that came in from the email the other day and I said, did you see this? You said yes.

Oh yeah, you're so right. Yeah, I'm just losing my mind. Wow. Wow. We don't have time for you to lose your mind. No, we don't. I'll fix that. I've only just got mine back. So I really don't need you to lose yours. I'll fix that over the weekend. Thank you. Thank you so much.