40ish - Making Female Friends in Your 40s & Becoming ‘Mumsy’

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

This week on 40ish, Lauren ponders whether becoming “mumsy” is actually contagious, whilst Nicole continues her impressive streak of losing dog leads, car keys and essentially any object not physically attached to her body. A listener shares an unexpectedly wholesome dream about meeting the ladies, which somehow sparks a fierce debate over who is actually more down to earth and honestly, the jury is still very much out. We also tackle this week’s dilemma from a listener who feels rubbish at making female friendships in her 40s. Why does building meaningful friendships as an adult woman sometimes feel harder than dating? Plus, an elite meltdown involving the correct way to say goodbye to someone in their 20s.As always, we absolutely love hearing from you lot. Your stories genuinely make the show. So please keep your dilemmas, meltdowns and most 40ish moments coming because you are the podcast.Come see us hosting in the Menopause tent at the Everywoman Festival on June 13th https://www.everywomanfest.com/tickets-londonBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-laughing-our-way-through-midlife-perimenopause-menopause--6942825/support.We love to hear from you! Get in touch with your dilemmas and rants.DM & follow us on Instagram   TikTokOrder Our Book here

Sometimes I wonder if the problem is me, but I don't want to force myself into friendships that feel superficial just for the sake of having a social life. I suppose I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way as an adult woman. Is it actually harder to find genuine female friendships when you're older, or am I just bad at navigating them? Thank you. What's your meltdown this week? Oh, that's a sigh from the heart.

I am so... It's not from heart. It's from rage. Okay, it's not about being mumsy. Good, good. I felt like I had some. I mean, I would bring that again. I just, it's going to change it up.

Yeah, great. I'm going to talk about the clearing up. Everybody, welcome to 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast tackling 40-something life and joy and wonder. Each and every week, twice weekly, we bring everything midlife to the show. The news, your stories, your dilemmas and up.

Your questions. Lots of questions this week. Oh, many, many gynecological questions. Basically, we are now, parimenopause, GPs and guineas apparently. I think we should train. Yeah, I think we are trained. I think we're there. I think proper doctors might disagree with that.

They should disagree with that. Yeah. Yeah. But we're going on us a lot. Anyway, we'll go into it in the show, but there's a lot. Please remember that you can subscribe to this show at Self Care Club on Apple Podcasts. you get early access and ad free listening across both of the shows. And you can watch the video every week on YouTube.

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What's your most 40ish moment of the week? I'm desperate to hear yours because it says, is mumsie catching? And I am, I'm ready for this. Okay. So it's been a big weekend full of celebrations. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of parties.

It really has been for both of us. Yeah. So Saturday night was my mother-in-law's 80th birthday party. Now, you may think, well, it's an 80th birthday party. One doesn't have to look cool. Yes, they do. Or trendy for that. You always have to look cool and trendy for everything.

But you know what? Yes, I did. want to. So I was like, what's the vibe? It's a dinner. It's indoors. It's nice. I know. I'll go with like a fuchsia pink satin maxi skirt with kind of lace detail. And then I'll do like a big sweater on the top and I'll go for that cozy cheek evening vibe. Can I just say? Yeah. It's May. It was pouring with rain. pouring and cold. I put it on. I was like, I literally look 65 years old. I look like someone's great aunt

going somewhere nice. Not just an aunt, a great aunt. Because I'm lots of people's aunts. It was, I was how much, God, it's so mumsy. It's like it's catching. I've caught it off her.

Now I'm also mussy. I have to tell you, the outfit does sound a bit mumsy. It was awful. If you were going to say, and I know what you mean, exactly what you mean and the influencers do it they look cool and chic and great yeah and so stylish yeah i put it on i look like i'm very religious yes that's how i look yeah it never works for me but the dresses the gorgeous summer dresses like the floaty sort of um shapeless summer dresses that you wear that you

pull off i always look very religious i can't pull that shit on yeah a maxie dress is not for you but it is for me so one would think i could do a maxi skirt and sweater i cannot anyway but if you'd have teamed it with like a denim shirt. I couldn't it was a big jumper like a big sloppy jumper. Forget the jumper. Right. Like away from the jumper. Okay. Reverse from the jumper. Yeah. Take the jumper off. Yeah. You put it back in your wardrobe. Yeah. You put on a denim shirt. Yeah. Tie it maybe. It wasn't feeling that. Never then you're getting a bit western and they, but then you could have put on your cowboy boots. I could. But anyway, I had about three minutes to leave the house. I stripped. I grabbed the first thing that came to me, which was my black tight. denim jumpsuit, put it on. Oh, you look great in that? Put it on.

Ollie was like, really? Really? Really? Really? Really like, are you wearing that to my mom's 80th party? You look great in that? He was like, it's a bit casual. I was like, it's at your sister's house. It's like, hey. Anyway, I went, big earrings, big earrings. Yeah, big earrings. Jump suit.

Anyway, maybe that's the antidote to mom'sy big earrings because I'm wearing them today. All my nieces and nephews and there are 11 of them. And they're like aging from 23 down to, well, Josh is the youngest at 30. And they were like, Auntie Lauren, you look so cool. Auntie Lauren, I love your outfit. Auntie Lauren, you're like the coolest aunt. Yeah. And I was like, yeah.

I am. Yeah. But much better. Right, let's just discuss the mumsy thing again. Okay. Okay. Because I was, when I was editing the show, I was really laughing about you taking the piss out of me being mumsy. And then I realized, because some clips came up on socials.

I have been talking about being rumsy for weeks. Weeks. Basically since the hysterectomy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I get what you were saying. It's definitely an internal thing.

Yeah. But now what's happened is because I've said it so much, I've basically seeped into you. Well, that's always what happens. It's just osmosis, isn't it? You know what's happening with me? Jelly shoes. Because you've been going on and on about jelly shoes.

And I'm like, nah, I like, jelly shoes. It reminds me when I was four years old, forget jelly shoes. Yeah. But it's like, well, I don't know. I'm about to go on holiday. I've got some lovely trips planned for this summer. I cannot wear those fucking Birkenstocks any longer. So what am I wearing?

And the only other alternative seems to be jelly shoes. Correct. You found some. I found a few. They're everywhere. How could you not find some? And they're also cheap. So cheap.

Because they're made of jelly. You would love the neon orangey red ones from MNS. Oh, they're an MNS as well. There's a pair in Next. And they're bright pink. They're really cool, but they're quite high. Oh, okay. Hi.

As in like up to your ankle. Oh no. No. Like a fisherman's, no. I don't like that vibe. No, you don't seem to be getting on ball with any of my footwear recently. That's like a boot. That's like a boot.

It's not quite a boot. Have you tried them on? No. No. They're going to look really weird with shorts. Yeah. Anyway. So I understand that I'm basically, I'm finally rubbing off on you.

I don't think I've rubbed off on you at all. I don't want you. you to rub it off on me in the way that I become mumsy. I mean, that's not like... You told me I wasn't mumsy. You're not. It's like you've manifested this mummishiness and now it's happening. Anyway, so I blow down my hair slightly differently today, right?

So, right, can I just tell you what I've done? Yeah, please. The problem is the hair. The hair is like the root of all problems. So... I'd say the uterus is, but okay. I'm blaming the hair. Okay.

And I do tell my... I used to tell my clients this is like you've got all these things going on and the stress and this and that and basically what you're doing is putting all of that anxiety onto your hair. But I'm doing the same and I sort of sat down at the mirror and I said to myself, if you were a client, what would you tell yourself about your hair? Great question. I don't know. And you know, I would tell myself, you need a haircut. Listen, I told you last week the woman in the bakery, you left before me. I was buying the bread. She said to her colleague, that woman's got the most fabulous hair.

Fabulous. And I was like, she thinks she's mumsy. She's like, her hair is fabulous. Did you tell her that I felt monsie? I did. I was like, she doesn't like her hair. She was the most fabulous head of hair. Yeah, but maybe she was mumsy.

She was mumsy. She was older than us. She was older than us. The accent is like leaning me towards. That was how she spoke. She's from the bakery. That's how she spoke in the bakery. She liked your hair.

Do you know what I did with my hair? Last night, I had another party, a big party, and had to wear full evening dress, the lot, slapped on a ton of makeup, put my hair up, used a hairpiece, realized it was your hairpiece, wrapped it around. Lovely, I mean, we all wanted the same now. Wrapped it around, came downstairs and then sat to Ollie,

truth or a lie, my hair looks like a Gail Cinnamon bun. And he was like, it does. I said, but in a good way, he was like, if you like. And then I said, Josh, be honest. How's my hair? He was like, it's good. I was like, does it look like a gale cinnamon bun?

He was like, it does. I was like, but in a good way. And I went for it. And three people said to me, wow, who did your hair tonight? I was like, did it myself. I was so proud. Gale cinnamon bun. Do you know what I mean?

But in a good way. Yeah. It was like up. We need a, we need photographic evidence. Oh, I'll show you. I haven't really got a clear one of the hair, but it was like all up on top with a huge bun. It was great.

What's it great? Yeah. It was big earrings, massive earrings. Yeah. I'm telling you, the earrings, they saw everything out. But I'm in gym leggings today because fuck it, I'm going to Pilates after this and I just can't be getting changed 18 times. So you know what?

Just throw on a pair of massive earrings. But I have to tell you the weight, the weight of the hairpiece plus the big earrings. My head felt very. very heavy last night. I was a very great, finally enough. Do you know, I didn't realize that, but yeah, not great. Not great. My 40-ish man is this.

I went for a walk with two of my friends yesterday. Went into the woods, came out of the woods, or was coming out of the woods, and I had lost the dog's lead. Right. That's so annoying when that happens. I'd lost her lead. Right.

Well, that's a fucking stupid thing. It's really annoying. I've done that. Just drops. Just drops. But why would I not feel it drop? Because they're quite light. So then I lift her up, she's only little.

I mean, thank God I don't have a massive dog. And she was so delighted to be held. Of course she was. Why walk when you'll be carried? And then I got to the car, lost my car keys. No. Again. Did I tell you that I lost my car keys?

I left them in Surrey. Yes. Yes, I did know that. Yeah. Left them in Surrey and they had to ship them to me. I left them in Surrey. does that. Anyway, the point is, right? Then both of my friends, because I was with like my oldest friends. And they were like, what's going on with you? They were like, that is so

unlike you. You don't ever lose. You just don't ever lose stuff. And to lose the lead and so not noticed that it had dropped. And they were like, what the fuck? What the fuck? What's that about? What's that about? I said, I left them in Surrey. Can you believe they're like so on. I said, all right. It is unlike me. What do you want me to do? I'm menipors. I'm men, menibores. I don't know you've noticed. I don't have a uterus. Oh, we had this feedback. Make what you will. Dear Lauren and Nicole, I hope you're both well.

I've just woken up after having a dream about you both. Oh, this is great. Somehow. I loved it. Somehow, we were all at an amazing house with my ex and his fiancé. No idea how that happened. There were a few of us there, and it was an interesting night with a bit of drama. I remember sitting near you both and lightly chatting throughout the evening

and being pleased as punch to have met you. That's sweet. Near the end of the night, I found a bit of the night. I found myself sitting on the floor of the living room playing Jenga with Lauren. What does that mean? Nicole... I think it's because you've been talking about Marjean. Oh, yeah.

Maybe. Nicole, you were opposite us on the sofa. I leaned into Lauren. So it was the two of you and I was separate. Got it. Got it. Wait for it now. I leaned into Lauren and I whispered, so is any of this going to make it on the pod?

To which Lauren replied, No. So accurate. So accurate. I then gushed to you both about how much I love you and that I was the single mum working two jobs with ADHD and perimenopause just started HRT patches now, by the way, who left a comment on Spotify and was amazed you read it out, etc.

And you were both so pleased to meet me. And then my alarm went off and I woke up smiling. That really doesn't happen ever. So I have you two to thank for my good mood this morning. So sweet. P.S. Please don't think I'm a nutter because I dreamt of meeting you. I do realize it's a bit weird, but there you are.

I'm really interested in coming to see you at your live show. You are so welcome to come and see us at our live show, Sarah. I won't play Jenga with you, but I will be delighted to meet you. Then she says, P.S., if you think that dream was weird, this is amazing. Yesterday, I dropped a banana on the floor, by mistake, she says in brackets, and then apologised to it out loud and then felt slightly bad about eating it. But really, I'm not a nutter. No, she's like a fellow, she's like a fellow tribal member.

Do you think? We don't need security if she comes to the live show. You are so mean. You are so mean. I'm only joking, Sarah. Sarah, can I just tell you, if we're next on a couch, sit next to me because I'm much nicer. Excuse me, I'm sitting on the floor.

Do you know why? Do you know why I was sitting on the floor with her? Because I'm down to earth. That is, that was what came into her head. Yeah, Lauren's down to earth. She'll sit on a floor. Orrins the down-to-earth one. She'll sit on the floor.

You're like elevated on the sofa. No, I was separate on the sofa. No, you were opposite. Opposite. Yeah, separate. You two were together. She was whispering sweet nothings into your ear and I was separated from you both.

And yet I was the one who rejected her being on the pod. So that's what I'm saying, Sarah. So now here she is on the pod. Yeah. Here we are discussing it. This is meta, isn't it? You're very jangly today, by the way.

That was a really... Am I? Is it my bangal? Yeah, you've only been podcasting for six years, but it's fine. Also, it's huge. Can we note? Huge. Okay, are we just doing oversized jewelry to make ourselves feel better?

Yes, for some reason. What is that? And look, I've got the most massive ring on. I'm telling you what it is. It's the antidote to Mumsy. Clearly. It's working, okay? When we do our live show and then it turns into a tour,

we can call it the Mumsie tour. You know? And then. Like blonde ambition, like, it's a blonde ambition. It will be exactly. like that. It will be just like that.

Do the Mumsy tour. Back to this being down to earth. Oh yeah. Yeah. I'm so down to earth. We're going to do a poll. I am. Who is,

Ariela? I think that is really unfair. I'm going to, she hasn't said anything yet. Who do you think is more down to earth? Lauren or myself. Who do you find more down to earth? Oh, she feels uncomfortable.

Oh, Ariel, I'm sorry. I think, I think, I think, Very kind. We didn't say kind. Down to Earth. We're both down to Earth. James. You know what James is going to say. James is going to say you because he always says you.

Because you're his favourite. Yeah, Jesse, who's more down to earth? Me or Lauren? He knows you better than me then. He doesn't know me. He knows. We met him at exactly the same time. Still my coffee, please. For what?

Exactly. You see? Huh? Why? Who do you find more down to earth? Look, I'm going to make this really easy for you. It's not Lauren. No, there's no.

It is me. You're not. You're not. I wouldn't describe you as down to earth. You're wonderful and you're one of my favorite people on this entire planet. But I don't, you're not particularly down to earth. Before we dive into your dilemma is a very quick disclaimer. We're not doctors or healthcare professionals.

Or down to her. We are down to her. I don't know if we are. We're going to ask the listeners. We should ask our husbands. Fuck the husbands. We're going to ask the listeners. Okay.

If there's an issue, you're seriously struggling. Please contact qualified ex-bats. I feel like I need to say this dilemma more and more and more as the gynecological questions pour in. The disclaimer, you mean? Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Hi, Nicole and Lauren.

I feel embarrassed to admit this. But I feel that I am crap. at making female friends and I barely have any. I'm 43. I have a best friend of 20 years. We talk weekly but we only see each other every few months due to distance. I have a couple of uni mates who I have coffee with or a walk regularly. I get on with the women at work but I don't socialise with them. I've tried things like exercise classes to meet people but everyone seems to keep to themselves or have their own mates and I really want meaningful friendships with women I can actually talk to and see often. I know that I've got a lot to give as a friend.

I love all the typical girly things and generally I get on well with women one to one, but I really struggle with cliquy dynamics and bitchiness. Well, I mean, don't we all? Yeah, we do. Sometimes I wonder if the problem is me, but I don't want to force myself into friendships that feel superficial just for the sake of having a social life. I suppose I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way as an adult woman. Is it actually harder to find genuine female friendships when you're older,

or am I just bad at navigating them? Thank you. It's quite hard to answer that because I don't know you. So I'm sure you're not bad at navigating them, but I can't tell you that because I haven't had any personal interaction with how you navigate friendships and meet people. So do you know what I mean? It's a bit of a tricky one. Also, I would like to say that navigating female friendships is tricky and it can be quite complex.

And there can be sort of hidden rules that you don't know until you find out if that makes sense. Yeah. So, you know, I've had the same friends forever. Me too. As have you. I mean, I've made new friends along the way, obviously. And there's always something happening. There's always something going on within our dynamic.

And the thing is, I'm used to it. And we all know each other back to front and inside out and upside. down so we're all used to it but it doesn't make it any less complicated um so i understand why she struggles if she doesn't have that crowd and she's never really had that sort of tribe of women around her sort of penetrating into that it is complicated yeah and i understand why she doesn't like the you know why she finds the dynamics difficult because they can be can we just hark on back to Dunbar's theory. Please.

We're so down to earth. I am. I mean, earthy. Earthy. Who's Dunbar? We know this because we wrote a book and in the book we talked about Dunbar's theory of friendship.

So you really, he says, you only need five close friends. And actually, you can only have a maximum of 150 people in your life. Yeah. Max, right. She says she's got a best friend. They speak weekly.

She's got a couple of uni mates she has coffee with and she walks regularly. And she gets on with the women at work. So she actually does have, I would say, five people. But what she's saying that she doesn't have is a community. Yes. That's what's missing. Get it.

But I don't think you are crap at making friends. And I don't think I would say you barely have any. What you have is from what you're saying here, three really good, really close friends who you keep regular contact with and you see and you like. So I'm guessing you want more and to widen every. everything out, but what you have is more than some people have. And actually what a lot of women would love to have would be three really great women in their lives. You know, it's what they say about who would you phone at three o'clock in the morning

in an emergency. How many people could you do that with? And even if that's three people, that's more than enough people. My daughter had a situation yesterday and it was about nine o'clock on a Sunday night. And she called her best friend and said, come over. and that was all she said. Yeah. And then she sort of dropped off line, my daughter.

And this friend turned up. She's like, I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know what had happened. Doesn't matter. It's her best friend. Yeah. Yeah. She just came over.

Yeah. She stayed the night. She's still at my house now. Like, it's so special. Yeah. But she's got these separate friends. Yes. They're not a gang.

Yeah. Which is impacting her social life. Yeah. So she's missing a tribe. She wants meaningful friendships, she says. With women, she can actually talk to and see often. I think it is harder and harder as you get older. I agree.

And what I find is that I sort of zone in more and more as I get older. And I have less friends. Yeah. But I invest a lot more time into said friendships. And COVID really helped me with that. Yeah. It was a real. Yeah.

It really set the bar, right? And also I find because I hang out with you so much and I talk. to you so much. So I get that fix of friendship. So sometimes I might not have spoken to my friends all week. And obviously it's always nice to speak to them if I haven't spoken to them for a week or so. But because I'm getting that female friendship fix every day, I guess we don't have to put the effort in elsewhere as much. Obviously same. Well, yeah. Yeah. So it's, yeah. I get it. And also I do think I know that everyone always says things like try going to a thing that you like and find a group of people but it's very easy to say but you can go to a million of these things and you might

meet one person who then becomes your friend which actually makes it worth while going but I think it's unlikely in your 40s to go to like a Pilates class and find five women there who are going to become your best friends that you speak to every day you know paddle friends though yeah I have But if you do something regularly enough at the same time each week, you do tend to find your people. Or find people within that. And if you're all doing the same thing that you enjoy, maybe not a Pilates class so much,

but like, you know, the gym. Mahjong. Yeah. Yeah. But that's sociable. A Pilate's class isn't necessarily sociable. Paddle is sociable. You have to talk to people.

Marjong, you have to talk to people. Bridge, for example, you would have to talk to people. Like anything like that. Yeah. You know, a book. You have to talk to people. A running club. Yeah.

You know, I think there's certain places and certain things that you can do that push you to socialise. You have to socialise. But I think it has to be things that you genuinely enjoy doing. Not that you're just doing to get out the house and meet people. Because I think if you're genuinely enjoying it, you're going to find like-minded people who are also genuine. And then you have actual stuff in common. So maybe find two things. that you really, really are into

and get into them and just see what happens. But it is hard. She mentioned about exercise, didn't she? Yeah, she said, I've tried exercise classes to meet people. But I think things like the high rocks,

for example, it has such a community feel to it. Things like CrossFit or a sport, football, tennis, paddle. Like anything where you're having to do it with people, I think that's where I would sort of signpost her to

that would help. Yeah, I agree. I was just thinking it was so sweet on the weekend with my mother-in-law's 80th and she goes to this aquarobics class quite a few times a week. And obviously she's made friends there because she's been going for years

and they made this very special book of photos and messages from all her friends and family. And her aquarobics friends secretly had been taking pictures of her in the pool and then like secret pictures of her swim bag and things and it was so cute Because they're like very dear friends to her now. I mean, my dad's having his 80th on, in August.

Yeah. And we're having a party at my house. And he was like, I'm going to invite this one, that one and that one from the gym. And I was like, okay, he's like, I see them every day. Yeah. Yeah. They do become very good friends. Yeah.

Well, I mean, all he's made loads of friends playing tennis. Yeah. Loads. Like people he didn't know two years ago. Now he sees them every day. So it's. Yeah. It happens very quickly.

Yeah. If you're in the right place. Yeah. I don't know if that's helpful, but I hope it's helpful. What's your meltdown this week? Oh, that's a sigh from the heart. I am so... It's not from the heart.

Oh. It's from rage. Oh. Okay, and it's not about being mumsy. Good, good. I felt like I had to... I mean, I would bring that again, but I just... It gets repetitive.

I'm just going to change it up. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to talk about the clearing up. Oh, my God. Okay, yeah. I have used the word drudgery, about 18. times this weekend. I just cannot. I can't.

You've had a very big party though on Friday. So there would have been a lot of clearing up. Post. No. No, it's been before that. No, it's been before that. It wasn't the party. The party was actually no problem at all. I had two waiters there who were just amazing and they literally did everything. And by 1130 on Friday night, there was no trace of party.

Wow. It was unbelievable. Wow. No, it is, it is constant. It's constant. The constant, constantness of it. I just can't. It makes me feel depressed and angry.

Depressed is a bit strong. It makes, I cannot, I just cannot keep clearing this house up. It is the most thankless, pointless, fucking task. Nobody, nobody, nobody, fix anything up. No. They know that it winds me up. They know that I physically cannot be in a room that is dirty and messy. I just cannot. So I spend my life clearing up. I have to clear up before I start cooking. I'm over it. And then the washing, oh, I haven't finished. The washing this weekend. It was like, has everybody like suddenly bred other people? Because I have never seen so much

washing my dog. I have done. That wash machine has been on, I've never folded so much, I'm so fucking bored of it. And then Adam, he just goes upstairs to bed, goes upstairs to bed at like 9.30 last night. And then I'm downstairs with the dishwasher and the washing and the clearing up and the dog and bringing the waters up and sorting her laptop out and doing this and that. And it's like, I've got 26 jobs before I could come upstairs, but you could just go upstairs. So then I come up and I explain that to him. He doesn't know or care or have to do it. He definitely knows. He knows now. He doesn't care. Of course doesn't care. I timed it this weekend. Why do I care? Because it's fucking annoying to live in a mess and like messy house, messy mind. Yes. Messy life. Yes. Messy mess. Yes.

Yes. It's between an hour and a half and two hours every morning for me now. And remember, I've gone from having like one kid at home to all three boys at home plus a girlfriend, plus an extra dog. But your boys are quite tidy. Some are, some aren't. There's mugs everywhere. There's acy bowls. There's Kit Kat wrappers. There's a crisp packet. There's, I know, I finished a box of crackers, but I'll just leave the box in the cupboard because why would I throw it in the bin?

That would be mad. Yeah. There is washing galore. There is double dog floof. So I am now washing. Oh, the floof. Oh, the floof. I am now dust busting and mopping twice a day, not even once a day, twice a day.

It's a lot. And also throughout all of this, and I've done it for two hours. Saturday, Sunday and this morning Ollie has a pile of trousers that's been there since Thursday and every day he says I'm just going upstairs to deal with the trousers but the trousers never get dealt with

he never get dealt with and today he actually said I'm going to do the school run then I'm going to come home and deal with the trousers and do some work from home and I just thought he's actually taking a morning off and I thought okay I'm going to spend two hours doing every single room in this house

plus laundry plus dog walk plus everything whilst you deal with the trousers. But okay, do you know what? Good. I don't have to deal with them. I went upstairs at 12 o'clock. The trousers are still there.

I don't know why it's a four-day affair to put trousers away. Because he's got ADHD. That's what I was thinking. I went upstairs to my daughter's room, which I never normally do, my 18-year-old. Yeah. I went upstairs.

I went there. That was a mistake. Yeah. Big arrow. And I'm like, what's with the room? She's like, what, this is tidy? I'm like, I, I, and we were having quite

like an important conversation so I had to sit in there and I kept looking around she's like Stop looking at my message Yeah she's like She's like you're not coping with the room are you I'm like no she goes

Do you need to leave? I said yes I need to leave She's like it's okay mum You can leave I'm like but you know what At some point this week We're going to tackle this room

Because I just can't with this room The trousers are in my room This is also my bedroom And I don't want to see The trousers anymore Also my oldest son He's 22 years old 22 years old, so I still do the laundry, all his laundry, his socks and pants and everything else.

You don't have to. I don't, but I do because, you know, I'm not going to discard his. Then I fold everything beautifully. I put it on his bed and then, you know what he does? He throws it off the bed. He comes home from work. He throws it off the bed. Yes, of course he does. Every morning, I put it back on the bed. Every morning he throws it off the bed. Why are you taking it off the bed? Why are you putting it back on the bed more for you? No. Why do you care what's on his floor? I can't, because, for the same reason you do. No. I don't go into my children's bedrooms. I don't do their bedrooms. I tidy every them every one. Why? Because I like a tidy house. No, I don't do that. No, no, I don't do that. Oh, I don't do that. I just can't cope with the, like, the living area and the kitchen and my bedroom.

That's enough. It's enough. You think I'm tackling my 15 year old's bedroom. It makes me want to, no. I'll tell you what else I'd like to bring to the rant whilst we're ranting. I cannot, whatever I do, keep up with the food demand. Now there are three boys plus one girlfriend, plus one extra dog in the house. I can't explain to you. I spent £80 on Saturday. I still had to go back to the supermarket on Sunday. The £80, that was just a top-up shop.

Yeah, yeah. They are like fucking locusts. The eggs, gone, the bread, gone. And then yesterday all he said to me, by the way, there's no butter. I said, you know that you've got a car and then wallet. And you could, if you want butter, you could go to the shop and buy some.

He's like, okay, don't have to be aggressive. I'm not being aggressive. Yes, you are. Buck it. You know what? You're not a baby. Don't inform me there's a lack of butter. Go and deal with the lack of butter situation.

It's not hard. I'm not asking you to milk the cow and churn it. Just go and buy it. Go to the local Tesco. Or don't do that. Go to the corner shop. They have butter. It's not hard.

But it's like as fast as I shop, they consume. And I, and I, don't know why they're so thin. They eat so much food and fruit. The kitchen roll holder has been barren all weekend. Oh, that's so sad. I would hate to see that.

I'd have hated to see it. I thought it was like the empty kitchen roll holder. Right. So then last... Does it have the cardboard tube still on it? Yeah. Oh, no. So then last night, it said as in, oh, can you pass me some kitchen roll?

I saw the gout, right? Yeah. Because I thought, this will sort that out. Yeah. I thought, oh, he's going to be so annoyed when he sits at the house. Yeah. Anyway, there was no, oh, bogginole. There was none of that.

Yeah. And he just handed me a piece of kitchen roll. What? I know. So I looked at it. Yeah. So I thought, I'm not going to say anything. No.

But then as I, like, sort of wipe my mouth, I could tell it was the absolute dregs of said roll. It was like the last piece. Yeah. But you know, it was like hard of piece. Yeah. It was that. See, like, he picked it off. He actually sat there.

Yeah. Rather than just go to the utility room. Get another thing. Oh, my God. You haven't even run out. It's just no one could be bothered to change it. No, no, he haven't run out. Oh, okay.

I was just waiting to see if he would actually go to make the four steps to the cupboard. Because the thing is, is that someone other than me last night. Since Saturday must have needed some kitchen roll. Yeah, of course. But how it's still a team. Because what happens is they all live without the thing until mum gets the thing. Like they'll all say, oh my God, there's no eggs. They want to make eggs.

But no one, let's bear in mind. They all drive. They're in their 20s. They have jobs. They have money. They can spend two quid on a box of eggs. But no one will get eggs till mum gets eggs. It's the same with the kitchen roll.

No one's going to change the kitchen roll till mum does it. But what are they using? Their sleeve. the dog the sofa who knows what are they using how's anybody else coped without kitchen roll since saturday anyway this morning i caved i caved you should have seen how long it sat there empty until someone else changed no one was going to count the days i did i was counting days it's been since saturday okay no in fact i think it's been since friday night yes it's been since friday night we're now on monday how many more days because i need the kitchen roll yeah the people need the

kitchen roll i don't understand no one else is using it Maybe you should just have your own one like under the sink but not put it on the roll. No, you see, you do that under the sink thing and I think that's weird. What? I do. Why? Because I think that's weird. But I keep my kitchen wall under the sink.

I don't want it on the counter. I might buy a kitchen roll. No, I don't want one. Thank you. I don't find it aesthetically pleasing. And I don't like a cluttered surface. So like as little on the surface. You do have things on the surface.

Yeah, but things I can't put it away like the Vitamix, the Magic Mix, the KitchenAid. I can't, them big and hair. heavy but I don't want kitchen roll out it's not pleasing to the eye mine is fine it's next to the toaster it doesn't hurt anybody it doesn't hurt anybody I haven't got room I got the coffee froth a thing and the you know it's fucking listen how often do you if you need kitchen well I'll give you a bit no no I know I know where it is it's under the sink every time I go and get it in your house I think it's it's you want it out I want it out I think you're either an out out out tea or an iny no one's in any I think most people have it out I think some some do no I think

I think most. My mum doesn't have it out. No. So that's probably why I don't. That tracks. Yeah. Yeah. If Jackie was an outy, I'd be an outty too, but I'm in any.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we've got a good listener meltdown today. Do you remember handshakes of today? Do you remember the handshakes? Yeah. For some reason, that really tickled us, the handshakes of today. It was a very early show.

This is on a similar vein. It's about goodbyes. Oh. Right. It's from Amy. Hi, Amy. Hi, Amy. Oh my God, ladies, I'm dying. I went to a 60th birthday party yesterday with lots of extended family members who I see once a decade. As we were leaving, I went to say goodbye to my

cousin's son-in-law, who I've met twice. Okay. I'm in my early 50s. He is early 20s. So I wasn't quite sure what the best goodbye protocol was. And in a moment of panic, my body decided to combine all possible goodbye options at once. Did she throw herself at him? I put my hand out and he shook it, but simultaneously I had also leaned in too far and committed to a hug because I'd just hugged his wife goodbye. Unfortunately, he is approximately seven foot tall. So instead of a graceful cheek kiss slash hug situation, I somehow ended up gently pressing the side of my face against the lapel of his suit jacket like I was in a 1940s film sending him off to war. then I just stayed there for a full few seconds. Why?

Why? Silently attached to this poor man's blazer while he continued holding my hand. Eventually, I peeled myself away, stood upright, mumbled goodbye and walked off pretending none of it have happened, but then I cringed internally we playing it another 400 times before bed. There genuinely needs to be an official age-appropriate rulebook for saying goodbye to people. I mean How do you say goodbye Depending on

Who it is Okay well let's say It's a person in their 20s Who you see twice a decade I would give them a kiss goodbye Yeah I think I would too You'd just give them a cheek kiss goodbye Yeah like a normal

I'd be done with it Yeah But sometimes like with people that we work with If we're having lunch with them or something It's hard to know whether to shake the hand Because they're actually a work person Yeah Or kiss them

Depends if it's a man or woman Well no because we meet men No, I'm saying With the women I'd be much more inclined To give them a kiss and hug Hello, goodbye With a man I'd be less inclined

To naturally do that No, I don't agree with that It depends on the man And how many times We've met him And how good looking he is Ten times Ten times

Yeah, if you've met him ten times Then I'd kiss him hello And give him a hug? Yeah You don't hug anybody I won't hug anyone Right Are you suddenly hugging him

I'm sorry to a question. This is really bothering me. What? When we do our live show, do I have to hug people? Because I just don't want to have to hug everyone. It's like, you know, it's like worrying me. What? It's not really worried.

No, it actually is. I'm actually thinking about it. Who are you hugging? I don't really like everyone. Like, everyone. Like, do we have to hug all the audience? It would be really weird. It will also take up a lot of the night.

And ruin the show. It's like bothering me. What are you going to do? Go around all hundred people hugging them. No, I don't want to do that. I'm just saying. Good. We're going to come out.

You mean after? Yeah, after. Do I have to hug everyone? Because I'm not a hugger. Can you do the hugging? And I'll just wave. Because I'm really down to her. Yeah, it's, thank you.

Thank you. I think that's just proved the whole point of all of it. It's not a hugger. I am down to earth. Just not a hugger. I hug dogs. I like the hugging dogs. I'm down to earth, aren't I?

I am, aren't I? Are you? Have I not? Do you think you are? Yeah. Okay. That's all the matters. Although somebody did tell me that I intimidated somebody the other day

and that's really bothered me. Really? Yeah. Okay. I'm not intimidating. Yeah, you're really intimidating. I'm not intimidating. You are.

See, the thing is, there's this perception that you're much scarier than me, but the truth is I'm actually scarier. Like, truthfully, I'm scarier than you are. Who said I'm scarier than you? You're definitely, no, you, I think if you like, saw us. Like on the periphery you'd be like, she's the scarier one but I'm actually the scarier. Scarier. I'm scarier. As in like

don't want to meet her in a dog, early at night. Scarier. No. Yeah. The more intimidating. The more intimidating. I look more threatening. It's the hair. What the fucking hair? That's great. I can't be intimidating and down to earth. And mumsy. And mumsy.

No, you can't be. You can't be. Those three things, Cozy, you must be so hot. I'm so hot. We have to go. So I can strip. Okay, Quazas, we are going to be back next week with a brand new episode.

Please keep your messages coming in. Hello at 40-ish.com.com. Okay. And have a great weekend. Bye-bye.