40ish - Menodivorce, Menstrual Cups And Jon Hamm’s Bulge

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Today on 40ish: Menodivorce is on the rise (and honestly, we get it). One poor woman goes twelve rounds with a rogue menstrual cup at a dinner party she will never forget. Meanwhile, Lauren is on an intense quest to source the perfect salt pig (don’t ask, just nod), and as for Nicole? She’s utterly undone after a listener sends in a photo of her forever crush, Jon Hamm, in jeans so tight they should come with a health warning: viewer discretion warning! But for all you nosey parkers…https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/660410732849086089/ Midlife, as always, is equal parts chaos, cravings, and crushes - and we are here for it. This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH To book tickets for our live show in October click here: https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Longbendy Twizzlers candy keeps the fun going. Keep the fun going. I probably shouldn't say this on a puppy forum, but here we are. I can't tell how much I would love to snort with John How. I mean, I would just, I would snogged on Ham. Sorry, Adam, but would. That fucks me off. That fucks me off.

The menopause is to blame for the downfall of their marriage. Oh, my fucking God. It's not that the menopause is to blame. John Ham's bulge is making you melt down. It is, has melted me down. That's literally melted me down. Hello, everybody, welcome back to a brand new season of 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman.

And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we tackle all the chaos of being 40-ish. Each week we dive into all things, midlife, the news, your stories, your dilemmas, and we bring our own stuff. Don't you worry, we are here with you too. about how we are navigating our own middle age. Mundane things, ridiculous things, rude things, funny things. We talk about it all.

We do. Please don't forget that you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts for early access, add free listening across both this show and self-care club and bonus content. And you can watch the video every week on Spotify or listen on any other podcast platform of your choosing who are we to dictate how you listen to the show. And if you've got something to share, we want to hear it. Big or small, mundane or hilarious. please send it in we want to hear from you because this show is what it is because of you

so come be part of the conversation and you can email us hello at 40ish.com.ukuk so come on oh am i going first this week why not i feel like i'm just going to disappoint you into a place where you've never felt so disappointed with me before more so than the raincoat oh it's a hundred times duller than the raincoat. How is that possible you may ask? I mean, I know I talked about compasses and rulers, so you know what? Oh, it's worse. I don't even think you're going to know what I'm talking about.

If I say to you a salt pig, do you know what that is? No. No, I knew you wouldn't. What is it? Okay. Is it like a brand of crisps that you get in a pub? No, no, no. It is, imagine, if you will, a tiny ceramic cave shaped object.

about so big with a cave and into it you put salt and it has a little spoon Oh I know exactly what you mean A salt pig Yeah yeah

I don't know why they're called pigs Because they're not shaped like pigs I know exactly what you mean Okay a salt pig Anyway Last week Because now my oldest is back from uni And he's back living at home

And he was like Mum I really think that two nights a week I want to do the cooking For the family Oh great go Max And I was like Okay great

But can we confer on the recipes So that we don't like Clash you know, we'll like decide our menus for the week and that's fine with me. And he said, by the way, mum, can I just say the salt container, it's not very easy to use. I was like, Max, I was thinking exactly the same thing. So we have like a pot with a lid on it. And every time you want to sprinkle some salt on something, you got to take this off and take the lid and da-da-da. And I said, you know what? We used to have a salt pig, but it broke. I'm going to find us a new salt pig.

I am not joking. I have spent, I would say the best part of three hours. trying to source the perfect salt pig for my kitchen I'm bidding on eBay I've got favourites on Vinted it has become my life

and as I was doing it I was thinking if I even said to Nicole the words salt pig A I don't think she'd know what I meant and B

she would probably just weep for me she would sit in a corner with a tissue and be like what happened to my dear friend

yeah well it's happened it's happened before we came on air we were talking about Carrie Bradshaw. Yeah. Won't me? And your words were, what's happened to her?

She used to be fabulous. Yeah. Now I just feel like she's just a sad, older woman. Living in a huge house alone. She doesn't even invite people over? She does. Yeah, but why didn't she host the Thanksgiving dinner? In her huge empty house.

Maybe Miranda wanted to do it because her son was cooking. But anyway. Yeah, fair enough. I hate her kitchen. Carries? Yeah. It's obviously not. In the house that size,

the kitchen's not going to be some shitty little kitchen. that's probably like the breakfast room there must be a proper kitchen where's the kitchen I don't know and also with the fabric curtain against like under the sink it's weird it's weird it's like gone like into country vibes when it's this beautiful townhouse in the on the upper east side carrie never cooked anyway she always used to put her sweat with the curtain I don't know the kitchen thing is an anomaly I don't get it kitchen was wrong yeah it was fucking me off me too anyway anyway anyway Anyway, yeah. Are you aligning me to Carrie Bradshaw now she's a sad, low-neill woman?

I'm just saying that the conversation we were having before we pressed record was, oh, Carrie Bradshaw, what's happened to her? She used to be fabulous. Yeah. Right back at you. Listen, I think a salt pig is quite a good idea because can I tell you something? I also, I know I like to take the piss and that seems to be our dynamic. But actually, in all fairness, I also have a bit of a problem with my salt seller. I thought you had the electric one.

I do. it's so you it's so like your brand in your house to have an electric grinder salt and pepper thing I just can't explain it but like you know how you would have that and I would never have that in my kitchen and you would so have that I think that just like really summarises you and I up I don't think it does it really does I don't think you can gauge anything from our sauce I think I can gauge everything like if I'd never been to your house it was like what kind of salt receptacle do you have I'd be like definitely that one where you press the button and it comes out electrically definitely it's so

or if you didn't know me and you came over for the first time and you see an electric salt and pepper mill would you think oh I understand who she is now I'd be like it's so you no no you wouldn't be it so because you don't know me but it doesn't tell you anything about who I am hmm you do you like a gadget

in your house no I don't yeah Adam has like the ring thing and the watch thing and there's always a thing and a gadget and a thing that's a tracker yeah oh come on you like a like a gadgety thing anyway

can I tell you my problem please please I am so here for it you can tell me all of your salt issues basically I can't seem to find the right salt that doesn't leak it just leaks and every time I go to it like we came home from holiday we were only away nine days and it was empty

because it had all leaked out I hadn't used it for nine days what are you putting in it? Sault what kind exactly So the big sea salt Maldon flakes Yeah That is the only salt I will use

But yeah That shouldn't leak Well it does I'm telling you it does So I'm a bit annoying And also how do you get The big sordin The big morden sea flakes

Out from the enormous tub That's as big as my head Into the tiny little salt cellar A funnel Back to the funnel again A funnel a small little funnel would be my answer to that. I actually didn't really want the answer.

I just wanted, you know. But do you know what your answer could be? A salt pig. I think if I went on Amazon, I would find a salt pig really easily. Of course you would, but I'm very, as you know, particularly and finicky about these things.

Because if it's going to sit on my counter, it has to be in line. Okay, so it needs to be either white or blue or grey. Yeah, but it has to be the right blue. And it has to be, anyway, I've got my own one. But it's, I mean, I didn't know the cost of these things.

What are they? Well, like, the La Cruzette one which would match the butter dish. Oh, for fuck say. They're 42 quid. They're 42 quid. I'm not spending that. I'm not spending that on a salt pig. I keep looking for you on eBay.

I actually, can I tell you what I've done this summer? Because we haven't seen each other a lot. What have you done? You know what I've done? What are going to be so proud of me. What? I have bought all the new pots and pans. Have you?

And I even bought a new La Cruzze dish. Wow. That's spennie. That is spenny. Yeah, I bought it on Brand Alley. So it was cheaper. Okay. It was like...

They are crazy expensive. But I use it two, three times a week. The other one had just had it. But also, did you know, they come with a lifetime warranty? I did know that because one of mine has a terrible crack in the bottom, but you've got to send it off. They've got to expect it. Oh, seeing. It's going to cost you 50 quids.

Because they're so heavy. Yeah. So I didn't bother. I just bought it. Oh. Anyway. So I bought new Lucruiser Ditch and all new pots and pans. And every time I open that drawer, I feel so happy with myself.

Do you? Yeah. I feel quite jealous. Aren't you proud of me? Because you hated my pots and pants. I really did. Yeah. Wow.

That's what kept me busy over the summer. Okay. Well, I would say that that is, I'm not saying it's as boring as a salt pig, but I'm just saying it's as my name. Well, shall I tell you something a bit more interesting then? Yeah. I have a new. It's not actually that new, but I'm bringing it and I'm admitting it.

I have a girl crush. Oh. Is this a. middle age thing or just a thing? It's just what's happening in my life and I'm middle age so I'll call it a middle age thing. Is it me? No. Are you going to be jealous? I don't know. It depends who it is. Why would I suddenly develop a crush on you? Because you just might have missed me so much. Well, I did miss you very much but I don't have a crush on you. Okay. Who is it? Well, she's someone I follow on Instagram. Oh, okay. You are not going to be interested in her.

Is she the this woman lifts woman? She's not this woman lives, no, but she does lift. like a fucking beast. Okay. She is built like she just has the physique that I want. And she is, I love her. I love everything she says. I love everything she wears. I love everything she does.

I love everything she cooks. And you know what I did? I signed up to her subscription. What do you get? I've never done online anything. No. What do you get? You get all her workouts.

Oh. You get all of her recipes. Oh. And you get her like, not on tap, but like you're watching her workout whilst you're working out and I am live it's live it's not live she's pre-recorded everything but she's showing you the movements yeah but I'm just like watching her work out and then I'm like I'm gonna do that but because she's with me she's with me what's her name Alicia she is she is 52 and she is in the shape of her life yeah and she shows you all her before and afters and she is just so

fantastic and I am honestly I have a total girl crush on her did you see the pictures I think that's more interesting than the salt cell, salt pig. I mean, not to me, but to others, yes. Alicia E. is her name, the people that want to follow her. Did you see the recent pictures of Melsie, aka Sporty Spice, on a boat in a bikini this summer? Yes, we've already discussed this over at Self Care Club. Have we? Yeah.

Because she got absolutely slated for looking too fit. Yes. And I saw some extremely rude and misogynistic and quite frankly weird comments. about her body online and I just thought that's weird because if she was a

big fat heifer you'd be really rude but also if she was too skinny you'd be really rude but to be honest with you she's got like abs for days and she's really toned and slim and she looks

really fit and healthy and they're all slacking her off but her abs are bigger than her boobs she looks like she needs a hamburger she doesn't look like she needs a hamburger she looks like a woman who's like really taking care of her body

I found that very strange. What do men want? It's misogynistic. What do they want? Who fucking cares? I don't care, but I'm just saying. No, I know not. Who cares what they want?

What's wrong with that? But they'll slate you regardless of what shape you're in. That's just what they do. That's just what men do on the internet. I mean, Nelly Fetado, who was 20 and very skinny and very beautiful, has now had like three kids and is definitely larger than she was before. Also, she's like 25 years older than when she was first. 45 or something.

Right. She's been ripped a shreds. Yep. Like did that woman eat Nelly Fittardo, all of this? And then... Oh, she took the work. She took the song, man eater literally. Yeah, terrible.

So there's that end of it. And then there's Mel C's like, I don't know what it is. And then there's like, Davina who gets thin shamed all the time. Oh, yeah, too skinny. Yeah, but you can't, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. You can't win? No.

Can I just ask a question? Right. Do you remember that we've already had this conversation over at self-care club? I do remember talking about Nellie Fittado, but I don't remember talking about Nellie Fetado, But I don't remember talking about Mel C. Well, it was all the same pot. Okay. I mean, I just, yeah.

Because I was going to start to get concerned. No, no. It's because I saw it this morning and I was thinking, unnecessary and vicious. Mmm. Amosogynistic. Yeah, yeah. For she's, but weird.

Very weird. Anyway, I love her. Okay. Good for you. Thanks. Maybe you can test out one of her recipes on me in your new pots and pounds. That's a good idea. Okay.

we've had some feedback yep have we i think is it kind it's racy oh that's the second time you've used the word racy and i've never heard you use it before you used it last week oh maybe it's because of this come then Amanda she sent us a meme yeah as my children like to tease me me mom it's called meme I'm like I know it's a meme don't trick me. She sent us a meme of our true love, John Hamm. Yeah. Did you see it?

No. It's in our DMs. Yeah. Anyway, it's a photo of John Hamm. Yeah. He's in sunglasses. Is he topless? No, sadly not.

He's in sunglasses. He's in a baseball cap, and he's in some beige jeans. And the caption at the top reads, Hollywood actor, Lifelong Democrat John Hamm has great jeans. The joke being... Yes, I get the joke. The jeans are... Very tight.

Right. And... But it's also a twist on the advert that everyone was up in arms about with Chloe Savini. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. The jeans are tight, Nicole.

Really tight. I don't know if I like him in tight jeans. No, that's not the point. The point is... I like him in a... The point is there's a very clear preview of what could be to come should you be... Interesting. I am very interested.

In an intimate relationship. Who's going to be in an intimate situation with John Hamm, not us? So this is what I had to tell you. I then remembered, because I saw the bulge, that there is six degrees of separation, less than six degrees of separation between me and John Hamm. I know a girl, and I've known her a long time, but I didn't know until recently

that she has had a rummage in those trousers. I know, and I'm really sorry I've told you this before, but the information only came to. me recently and I was like oh my god I know her she's had a rummage that's like two degrees define rummage literally a rummage and I

and the person once just the ones yeah and the person and Welsh absolutely enormous no forget the size how was he everything was great so my question was so happy my question was like so upset if he was a bad lover like why just the rummage why just the rummage

why just the rummage why what do you mean If you've got the opportunity Oh she didn't I'm saying literally just a rummage Oh she didn't No I thought that's what you meant by rummage No I mean literally a rummage around

Oh Oh so she doesn't know if he's a good lover No Is he a good kisser Or does she just have a rummage I don't know but I have so many questions I'm sorry to say And I probably shouldn't say this on a public forum

But here we are I can't tell you how much I would love to snortge on I mean, I would just, I would snog John Hamm. I'm sorry Adam, but would. Do you think he'd let you off the hurt? Well, he'd have to because I would have to. He's your hall pass.

I think so. I find it hard to watch him on screen. I know you do. I know you do. Have a look at this DM. You'll have a very, very good idea of what you could be in for. Does she, does she DM us on 40-ish? On 40-ish.

Was it recent? It was recent. It was like yesterday or the day before. I'm going now. And I'm looking now. Okay. Fucking hell. Yeah.

I wasn't joking, was I? I wasn't joking. It's like, it's like. It's like God said, you know what I'm going to do? I'll just make one. I'll just make one. And you can all look at him, but he can't have him. Yeah.

Is he married? I have no idea. I haven't got clear about his personal life. One of my best friends, we were on holiday with them, and he asked me, we were walking back from dinner, and he said to me, if you could have one guy, like, who would the guy be? And I said immediately, John Hamm, John Hamm, he's like, really? I'm like, yeah. He's like, why John Hamm? I'm like, I can't tell you why.

I mean, you're not going to find him attractive. It's just every single part of his everything is just perfection. No one with eyes asks the question why John Hammond. It's not even like he's not the best looking man on the planet. There's something so sexy about him. You know that he's really into Bravo. Did you know that? I didn't know that.

The real housewives. That only makes me like him more. He was on Watch What Happens Live. Was he? Yes. Yes he fucking was. So he's also a little bit shallow. I mean, I couldn't love him more.

He was on Watch What Happens Live and he gave a whole rundown on what was happening on all the Bravo shows to Andy Cohen. And he was so spot on. It was like, be still my beating heart. I actually replied to it. I just couldn't cope with it. I mean, imagine you could just be at home with John Hamm, obviously make him take his top off at all times, sit on the sofa. Smelling him.

He could watch more housewives. I'll be fine. And you're watching our housewives. Yeah. It's like perfection, right? And then I asked my friend and I said, well, who was yours for him? Yeah. He said, he really thought about it.

Yeah. He said, oh, God, go on. Helen Mirren. Fuck, she's nearly 80. I mean, she's very attractive and lovely, but Helen, I'm presuming your friend isn't in his 70s. He's our age. Helen Mirren.

I'm like, why? He said, because she's just so accomplished and she's so amazing. She's done this, just that. Hold on, hold on. We're talking about accomplishments, okay? I thought you meant like your whole parts of who you'd want to sleep with. I wasn't sure. We never got to the bottom of that.

But John Hamm. Okay, we've had some other feedback. I think I'm going to put this photo up on the Spotify video. Do it. We've also had some more feedback saying, Hi, can I talk to you about the dilemma of being 40 and single and how hard dating is in London? Maybe you should do a singles event. I'm sure you have a lot of single listeners and what a great way to help the 30 to 40 year olds.

What do you think of that? Sorry, I'm very busy cropping John Han. John Hans jeans. Okay. What do I think about that? Yeah. I think, I can't think. She is so mesmer.

by the bulge in John Ham's jeans. She cannot function. Is that going to be the title John Ham's bulge? I think it might be. Like, my hands are a bit sweaty. Okay. Stop now. Calm down.

Wanted a singles event? And what the fuck do we know about being single? I've been married 24 years next week. Next week? Yeah, I know nothing about being single. No, neither do I do. What do you know about being single? I don't.

I've been married 18 years. is bring with Adam for 21. I don't think there's much point us hosting a singles event, do you? No. But we do need to host an event. Yeah, but not for people to date. I mean, I'm not adverse to the concept of it, but I think we are weird hosts for that. Because we're not really living, living it, are we?

Definitely not. No, definitely not. Okay, well, thank you for your feedback and for writing. Yeah, I mean, if we get like 200 DMs from single men and women who are like, yeah, please. we love a single then we'll do it yeah because if you're all out there yeah want to meet then great we'll we'll be the glue that holds it all together yeah but yeah but we can't just help one person and I'm sure it is very difficult being 14 single in dating in London but I'm not the woman to assist you in that um I've totally lost my train of thought I'm really sorry

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But we must do our disclaimer. Go for it. I can't see it again still this week. I wonder if I can do it for memory. Go on. I don't have any memory of anything. Come on. Before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer.

We are not doctors or healthcare professionals. So if there is something that you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Word perfect. Get me. Congrats. Thanks. Thanks. Brain fog who?

This is the dilemma. It's from Laura. She says, Hi ladies. Is it just me? Are all middle-aged women subconsciously programmed to spend money on shit they don't need but can't help buying?

I mean, I can already answer this, was it yes. Are they programmed to buy shit they don't need but are already buying? Are middle-aged women subconsciously programmed to spend money on shit they don't need but they can't help buying. Then she's giving an example. I popped out to the high street on Saturday to get some bits.

One loaf of artisanal bread and a coffee later and I was already into my overdraft. Oh my God, I know. The price of fucking sourdow downstairs under this studio. From Gales. From Gales. By the time I got back into the car, I'd spent nearly 50 quid because apparently I also needed a candle that smells like Scandinavian rain,

some olives that will sit in my fridge till I'm 60, and yet another lip gloss. Thank you, Laura. Listen, we've been shopping this morning. We haven't actually bought anything. We haven't. We've been browsing. Well, we've been putting things into our virtual basket. But we don't need.

We do not need them. At all. But we want. But it's a brand that we really love and it's having a really good sale. Like a really good sell. But that doesn't mean it's cheap. It's still expensive. It is.

Not in comparison to the full price, but it's still expensive. You know what? It's a brand that I can't even afford the sale. that's really fucking annoying isn't it yeah but then like on one hand I'm thinking but then I can get this item for like a third of the price it's still expensive but it's such a nice piece I may wear it forever should I invest and I'm thinking I don't actually need to spend that money yeah there are clothes in my wardrobe that I can wear so I'm with this woman I am totally with you Laura all the time all the time all the time there's a whole thing like sometimes you just go out to get literally literally a pint of milk and maybe one other thing you need, like some eggs and you've spent 30 quid. But when is that? When do you ever go in for the pint of milk and just come out with the pint of milk and

that's it? Never. Never. In fact, we both said, I need to get some armour milk and you need normal milk. Yeah. We're going to go into Tesco's on the way home and that's what we're going to come out with and that's it. Okay.

Deal. Deal. Deal. I'm making the deal now. Okay. But I totally hear you, Laura. Yes. I do this all at the time.

And sometimes I think. oh you know what my mind just wondered no no my mind just wanted to i wonder if i can get a different sort in desks there you go see that's already another three quick this is the part of the problem yeah this is the problem yeah this is the funnel but is this a middle i'll give you a funnel i've got but is this a middle age thing no i think this is the female thing is it just that we are like little magpies or is it advertising or is it just that we like shopping God, that's a big question. Because like if you sent Adam out, like Adam, we need some butter and some strawberries.

But Adam would he just come back with like three massive tubs of butter and like a million strawberries. I'm like, there's just the two of us like, who's eating all this? Yes, Ollie does that too. It's very hunter-gatherer. It is, isn't it? And then also, I don't know if Adam does this, but Ollie does this and he's always done it as long as I've known him. he'll come back with the bag he'll unpack the bag but then he'll line it all up on the kitchen counter like a sort of display here are the three butters and here are the four and they're in a line

but god forbid they would never go they wouldn't go in a fridge or cupboard because it's like here look hunted here produce it's so male it's extraordinary so when the online shop comes yeah when it's delivered adam if he's there he helps me and what he does is he likes to take everything out of the bags and put it on the worktop and I have told him

so many times that I can't say it kindly anymore but also it's not even the freezer first but it's not even one back of course freezer first but the bags are split into fridge freezer cupboard

so you don't need to do that so what you're actually doing is messing up the fucking system and also it It takes time to take it out the bag, put it on the worktop, and then you've got to put it away. You're creating two more steps that you don't need to. It's inefficient. Agreed. And he still does it.

Agreed. I said to him, it's in the fridge bags. Just take the fridge bag. Open the fridge, unpack the bag, then do another one. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I get it.

But he's like, well, but you always do that. Like, I'm helping you and know you're telling me how you don't want my help. I'm like, but you're not helping me. You're just picking the shopping away. You also eat the food. It's like, it's not my job first and you're second. Yeah. Yeah.

And we're in full agreement with you, Laura, is basically our summary. Yes. Okay. Yes. And thank you for sharing. Thank you so much for being in touch, Laura. Like the fucking Scandinavian rain candle and eat the olives while you're smelling it. Because if you're going to waste the money, at least enjoy the stuff.

I could not agree more. Yeah. Someone bought me this amazing candle so long ago And I cannot light it Oh, I have the same It was like a £60 pound candle Someone bought me a neon one They're like 45 pounds

And I just can't light it I just can't, I want my waiting for I might die But what else am I going to do with it? Yeah, so true It's got no other purpose You can't be lit You can't enjoy it, not lit

You know what I mean? It's sitting in a fucking cupboard Yeah I say we like those candles We like those candles And we are only Bye, Okay, what are we coming back with?

Midlife news. Come on, what's going on? I mean, you are not going to be surprised. In fact, it kind of follows on from what we were saying last week when you were saying that divorced women are the happiest of all people. So apparently, it's a thing. And it's called meno divorce. Oh.

Meno divorce is on the rise. middle-aged women leave marriages at record rates as menopause unleashes built up resentment says the New York Post so it must be true The change The change, who the fuck calls it the change anymore? Anyway, the change is causing big changes in marriages

while a decreasing number of marriages generally This is not news It is, it is, it is now But it isn't because this has been going on for a very, very long time This is not just sudden No, but the difference is, is that marriages in general, divorce rates in general are on the decline, but the rates are climbing amongst adults who are 50 and older.

And they're basically saying that we spend women, spend their entire adult lives taking care of their husbands and partners and children, giving so much of themselves to other people as nurturers that they lose themselves in the process. One 44-year-old recently divorced women said it wasn't a midlife crisis, it was an awakening. am wide awake to the possibility of what my life could be and it doesn't include you she told him she ended her marriage three years ago and says that she has never been happier many women in midlife experience similar feelings as their hormones recalibrate around the same time as their personal professional circumstances are changing and menopause and perimenopause can prompt a wise range of symptoms although many women admit they struggle with carrying the majority of the mental load

enter the menno divorce. These are often the factors that ultimately lead to divorce, but many women admit that perimenopause has made them unable to tolerate things they had previously brushed off. Seven in ten say that the menopause is to blame for the downfall of their marriage. That fucks me off. That fucks me off. The menopause is to blame for the downfall of their marriage.

Oh, my fucking God. It's not that the menopause is to blame. It's that actually, like she says, said she's woken up to the things that she refuses to tolerate anymore. It's got nothing to do with the blaming the fucking menopause. Cause it's the woman's fault. No, well they're saying this is an obstetrician gynecologist. She says, I hear this for patients every week. They may still love their husbands, but they also hate them and they can no longer put up with things they've been putting up with. Yes. Our hormones give us protection to accommodate other people. When they

start shifting, there's a lot of built up resentment. Women have been busy taking care of everyone and now they have to take care of themselves and this is a time when they may decide the relationship is no longer worth it. Men will often blame divorce on irrationality as a result of menopause with the narrative of my wife is crazy. But this is, this is not the case. Women are gaining clarity in perimenopause and the clarity tells them to leave. Oh, I mean, it's exactly like she said. I think it was beautiful how she summarized that by saying, I'm not having a midlife crisis. I'm having an awakening. There is a big difference.

But it's also just biology. Like we are pumped full of estrogen. Yeah. We are full of it. So that we can reproduce, right? And nurture, mother and care. And then the estrogen declines and you're like, fuck this shit.

Yeah. Yeah. The nurturing declines. The irritability rises. It's like a graph. So I understand the menno divorce phenomenon. I do too but blaming it on the menopause

I'm not I'm not down with that I'm just saying maybe women just find empowerment as they age They do I'd prefer that twist on the tail It's not a tail But yeah It's much more empowering

Right than to say oh But a man can walk around saying Oh she's irrational She's gone crazy She's nuts And it's the menopause The menopause is to blame I'm so manipulative

It's like how about all the fucking shit that you've been doing for 20 years or not doing for 20 years how about we talk about that now that I'm not busy changing nappies yeah yeah I get it I get it they become much more visible and much more vocal and I love that for women I really do I don't think the men love it so much I've always been

quite visible and vocal so that's not been I haven't noticed that been being a massive change for me yeah but I do like watching it in the women around me I get it it. But it's disruptive, right?

Yeah, of course it is. And it causes such huge disruption. But some things need to be disrupted. I am. We've got a meltdown from the list for my listener. Do you have any meltdowns? You're having one right now. I am. Having one right now. I'll tell you mine it's really quick. Go on. Um, TikTok recipes, okay? I love a TikTok recipe.

It has made me feel 75 years old. Why? I'll tell you why, because I watched one the other day, some person doing some air fryer shit with eggs. They crack the eggs in, three eggs, and they left. Oh, no, no, they're wrong ones. No, you don't know what I'm going to say. No, because they all, then comes out in some fucking tortilla thing and it never does.

The point of the recipe wasn't the recipe. The point was, he or she, whoever it was, none, cracked the eggs into the air fry, and all the eggshells are in there. Then they carry on with the recipe and do-da-da-da-da, and it comes out. And I mean the eggshells are in there. The eggshells were in the mixture and then they just put the air-friar on. And I was like, what the fuck? Anyway, then I look at the comments and I don't realize,

but I should have realized that this is what made me feel 75 years old, is that they do that on purpose so that all the twats comment, oh, you pet eggshells in your recipe. Oh, you idiot. Why are the eggshells? It's a thing. And then it gets comments. And then it gets the views.

Yes, it's an on-purpose thing. Did you know that? Please tell me you didn't know that. Of course I didn't know that. Okay, but it's like a really common. You know what, hi, I'm 48, nice to meet you. I'm not on TikTok a lot, although I do like a TikTok recipe. Well, if you see this happening, just know that it's an on-purpose for attention thing.

And I saw that and I thought, is this what the world's come to? Yeah. I don't need, I shouldn't be on this platform. No. That's my mouth. you are but I'm too old to be shall I read you the listeners meltdown can I tell you my meltdown oh you've got one well no I don't have one

it is that's it William Bulls John Ham's William Bulls John Ham's Bulge John Ham's bulge John Ham's bulge is making you melt down is has melted me down has literally

melted me down I'm never going to get over that never I can't believe you missed that. It's like going to the Oasis concert. I came out there and I thought, I'm never going to be the same again. I am forever moved, forever changed.

It was a religious experience. It was the most wondrous evening. And I knew that I was never going to be the same again. And this is how I feel about this photo. Wow, Amanda, you've really rocked Nicole's world today. I mean, thank you. I can't believe you missed that in the DMs. I can't believe it.

Of all the things you didn't see, that's the one thing. Well, you've seen it now. You can't unsee it. You know there's going to be people Googling this photo now. John Hamm, beige jeans. We're going to put it up. We'll put it up on our socials. We've got to.

Shall I read you the listener meltdown? They are anonymous. They're just going by the initials N.H. Okay. Hi, Nicole and Lauren. I'm sharing my meltdown in the hope that my misery makes someone else smile. Since I hit 47, my periods have gone haywire. I hear you.

N.H. They either come every month, skip a month just for laughs, or, and this is my favourite, I have four. flooding. Yeah, this is standard. This is standard peri-menopausal shit. I decided to get a menstrual cup as I am so sick of buying and using a million tan packs. Very stupidly, I decided to wear it for the first time that day.

And in the evening, we went to a dinner party with a group of school parents. Couples I know, but not that well. I know where this is going. Halfway through dinner, I thought, where could it possibly go? It's sucked to the lining of your vagina. where does it don't go anywhere halfway through dinner i thought i would pop to the loo and empty it i didn't reckon on it being a very petite understairs loo and basically physics betrayed me i could it is hard to unsuck that fucker i could not get the fucker out no and i did happen and i found myself

performing what can only be described as a one woman circ de solace routine like I was in a YouTube meditation video. I was obviously gone forever as my partner knocked on the door and asked, are you okay in there? And I yelled back at him, I'm fine! This is just who I am now.

I did get it out, but I was too scared to reinsert it and deal with the drama again. So I just wadded a load of loo roll in my knickers and we left very soon after dessert. Who ever said Midlife was not a glamorous time. But to be honest, the menstrual carp is that could happen any age.

Yeah, yeah. We did a whole show on menstrual cups. We did. I mean, one of our early, early shows over at Cell Care Club. It was a cracking episode from what I remember. Yeah. Go and have a listen to that. You'll quite enjoy that.

Yeah, the menstrual cup thing, I haven't used it for a long time, but it does, as I said, it really, that fucker sucks. I mean, practice makes perfect. That's all I'll say. The more you use it. You have to, you have to get your finger around. Yeah, it's a bit like when you have to unlatch a baby from your breast. You have to break the seal.

You have to break the suction. Very similar. Or like, you know, when you're like undoing a tin of tuna. That is a very unfortunate. You know what? I had a very blunt tin opener for a lot of time. Oh, I see when you're like prising it open. So I was constantly with a knife trying to prize it open.

It's not the same because it's not a suction. It's like when you stick your little finger in the baby's mouth, get that baby off and then you can yeah it's that you have to break the seal but i would just say the more you use it the easier it becomes i can't be bothered with with i can't be bothered okay i can't be bothered i can't be bothered with tan packs i can't be bothered with menstrual are you just free bleeding now well i barely bleed so it's not a problem you are free bleeding now wow cool cool is it cool yeah i don't free bleed don't put that out on the internet i don't do that I don't.

Please say you're one of those really odd women who just sits with nothing on from the top down on a towel. I don't even put a towel on. I just let myself flood all over the place. I don't flood because I have a coil so I don't bleed a lot. Okay. We're really going into some lovely TMI today, aren't we? I think we should go home. If there's anything to take away, just take home his bulge.

I mean, that's all you need to know. Okay, I never knew you were so penis-centric. Neither did I. Wow. I'm not normally. That has rocked my... Throwing you for a loop. It's rocked my...

She can't speak. We have to end the episode. Wow. Amanda, you don't know what you've done. I told you I can't watch him on the screen. I can't watch him. I can't watch him. You've ruined my partner.

The morning show's coming back soon, by the way. And I wonder if he's in it. He'd better be. He'll definitely be in it in his helicopter, shagging Jennifer Aniston. I know. We're all jealous. It's okay. It's okay

It is Jennifer Anderson Yeah I once went out with a guy And his next girlfriend Artemy was Jennifer Aniston There's your degrees Separation To John Hamm

Well done Yeah but It was Mortify Anyway Should we go Yeah Yeah

Yeah Okay we'll go We'll see you next week Everybody Bye Bye Thank you.