40ish - Midlife injuries, Feeling mumsy and Timothée Chalamet

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

Welcome back to the first episode of 40ish for 2026. Nicole returns from holiday feeling mumsy, while Lauren kicks off the new year by injuring her shoulder blade… in her sleep. Because apparently even resting is dangerous now. We dive into a listener dilemma after an awkward Christmas Day gift exchange leaves some lingering hurt, and 40ish listeners share their post-Christmas meltdowns - festive cheer fortyish style, Plus, we cover the truly important cultural questions of the month: Celebs turning 50, our thoughts on Timothée Chalamet, and how on earth Liz Hurley is looking that incredible at 60. It’s a very on-brand return to midlife chaos, honesty, and laughs. Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I think what's happened is over from 2025 to 2026, in that transition period, I've become mumsy. I don't know he went from looking like, oh my God, what a cool Christmas dress to like, I am my grandma. Yeah, she's wearing for her own New Year's Eve party on New Year's Eve. Just a white bikini? You're choking? on my life Hello everybody Welcome to a brand new season

of 40-ish And the beginning of 2026 I'm Nicole Goodman And I'm Lauren Michigan This is still the podcast Where we tackle the chaos Of being 40-something Every single week

We dive into all things mid-life The news, your stories, your dilemmas And of course, we bring you our own mess and challenges of navigating the beautiful, sexy decade that is our 40s. You know, I'm going to be in my 50s soon, like really, really, really soon. Okay, can we deal with that when it happens? But I'm just saying it's like one year away. Okay.

What are we going to do about the show? It's fine because I'll still be 40-ish. So we don't need to change anything. Do anything. It's going to be okay. Yeah, but I won't be 40-ish. You will. You'll be 40-adjacent.

It's okay. Anyway, happy new year, everybody. A big, big, happy new year. We hope you've had a gorgeous Christmas and a lovely new year and that you are so happy that we are back. We hope that you've missed us. How long have we been gone? Two weeks.

Yeah, two weeks. So, oh, I feel like we've been gone months. I know. But it's only been two weeks. So if you do have something to share, big, awesome, or we want to hear it. So please email us, hello, at 40ish.com.org, be in touch. be part of the conversation we love to hear from you we do and don't forget that we have a subscription over at apple podcast where you get early access you get the shows earlier than anybody

else that's this show and self-care club you get everything ad free that's this show and self-care club and you get bonus content that you won't get anywhere else so come and join that subscription and you can watch the video of this every week at Spotify or you can listen on any other podcast platform that is the housekeeping done and dusted, we can now get on with the show. Few. I haven't actually seen, Lauren, have I? This is the first time I've seen you since I got back from holiday.

This is the first time you've seen me since the 12th of December. Yeah. It's a long time. Come on. I haven't seen you for three weeks. Yeah. Got lots to catch up on. So much.

What is your most 40ish moment in the whole three weeks of Christmas and New Year? Let's go! I ripped something in my shoulder blade. Oh no. Yeah, ripped it. You ripped it? ripped really proper, so sore to the point where I couldn't really turn my neck one weight or the other, Ollie had to give me Tramadol. And I just took it because I was in so much pain.

How was the Tramadol? I was pretty much off my face. Lovely. And he was like, what are you talking about? I took it the whole holiday every day and I was totally fine. I was like, okay. I wasn't fine. Anyway, do you know how I did it? This rip that took osteopath visits and Tramadol and. quite a lot of pain. Just work up like that. Just work up like that. You've had that before.

Yeah. Haven't you? Like with your neck? Yeah. That's how 40-ish I am. Yeah. Just, what happened? Oh my God.

What happened to you? Did you fall over? No. You couldn't move your neck. You ripped a what? I don't know. I think it actually was from my neck, but the nerve traveled down into my shoulder blade.

So I felt like it was like a rip in my shoulder blade, but it was actually in my neck. it was really bad. I didn't think there was anything less dangerous you could do than lying in your bed still and being asleep

apparently very dangerous. What's the most 40-ish thing that's happened to you over the Christmas period? I really struggled to come up with something. Oh. But you were feeling

very youthful all Christmas? I've had the most amazing Christmas, I'm sorry to say, because I know that you've not had such great Christmas, but, you know, I've been in Thailand for three weeks and I've been travelling around with my family and then my sister met us in the last five days and it has just been utterly glorious. I mean, it's just been the best thing ever. But I will say, and so I was struggling to like come up with something pretty negative because all these 40-ish moments and our meltdowns and everything, it's always quite negative, isn't it? Yeah. That's not good.

good is it? We should be bringing something a bit more positive. I think you just have. What? Well, I think that that was positive. You just had a lovely time. No, I did have a lovely time. No, no, I have got something negative. Don't panic. Don't worry. I have brought something negative, everybody. Don't worry. I'm not going to make you all sick with how gorgeous my holiday was. I basically felt mumsy the entire holiday. I have decided, right, my summer wardrobe needs a spruce. that's the wrong word. I mean, it's the right word, but that's just a mumsy word anyway. But I didn't have outfits. No, there are no outfits. There were no like, oh, I'm just going to throw this on and we're going to go to this beach. It just didn't work like that. Everything I put on, I looked like

a mum in her late 40s. I know I am a mum in her late 40s and I realize that that's okay. I don't want to look mumsy. Nobody wants to look mumsy. Nobody goes out with the intention Right, today, my look is going to be mumsy. I hear all of that, but what is the alternative? Because also, you really don't want to look like someone where people are like, she's a mum in her late 40s, but she's wearing that. But there's a big difference between being mumsy and being sort of inappropriate dress-wise. There's definitely a line, but where that line is, I'm not sure.

Big spectrum. It's a big spectrum, yeah. Isn't it? And also, I'm not buying all of this. You've got plenty of outfits. You always give outfits. I don't. I don't.

I don't. I don't. I don't. Had some fancy fluorescent yellow skirt on. You had some of the scoop neck bits on. You had bits. What's scoopneck bits? I don't know.

You had some scoop neck top and a big yellow skirt. They were definitely outfits. There were a couple of outfits. I'm not saying there weren't, but everything I put on, I just felt old felt old felt old and there was one night

that we were going around Bangkok and most of it we're like travelling and we're sightseeing and we're doing and so I had to be comfortable and I put on a leopard print shorts and I do like my leopard print

as you can see I'm in leopard print now leopard print shorts and a black vest and some Birkenstocks right? I have never felt so fucking mumsy in my entire life

but I might even put the picture up If you're watching this on Spotify I just I was screaming mum vibes screaming I'm also travelling with these two like prime of their life teenagers I was about to say I think that's maybe more more the issue

who are just like full of youth right you know because if you were travelling with four other women in their late 40s you wouldn't be feeling I think I would have honestly think I would have I don't think so I think I think I think I think what's happened is over from 2025 to 2026, in that transition period, I've become mumsy.

This is what's happened. I feel like I need to sort out my style. Where are you going? What do you mean? Like, where is it? Where is it? What do you mean? That is a very good point.

I mean, I am going nowhere. The only place I go. It's to the gym and your house. I know. Oh, tomorrow I'm taking the dog to the groomers. I mean, not going anywhere. But I had this. Nowhere.

I had this same conversation with my son's girlfriend. She was like, oh my God, tell me what you got in the Zara sale. I was like, a scarf. She said, what do you mean? You just got a scarf. And I said, you know, I looked at all the sales and I looked at everything. And then Ollie said to me the next day, do you want to go into town to the sales? And I said, to be honest with you.

Because I basically go to the woods, to waitrose, and to Nicole's house. And that's basically it. So I don't really need clothes. We don't need clothes anymore. What I need is like... Yeah, my problem isn't the wardrobe. My problem isn't my life. So I think now you're bringing clarity to the situation because what's happened is I had a life over Christmas,

had this beautiful, vivacious, wonderful experience of a life. by traveling around the whole town. But I didn't have a wardrobe to match it. I think that's your issue. You're like, I'm going to a restaurant. I'm going to a beach bar. Yeah. I'm going to sightse in.

Yeah. I'm doing this. I'm going to the James Bond Island. I'm doing this. I'm doing that. And on one of the day trips, right? When we went to like, when you go around COPP and you do like six different stops. And in every different stop, there was like all these yachts and mega yachts. And we weren't on that.

We were on like, we'd hired this little speedboat for the day. and all these like influencer people were like standing up on like the back of the yacht and they were like draped over and they've got their outfits she's got the the crocheted bikini triangle bikini thing with the with the see-through crochet long skirt and you can see her butt through it and she's like draped on this mega yacht and they're taking photos of the background of like where they shot the beach and it's like I feel mumsy okay but that's where the line is drawn because if I saw you. She was like 25. Exactly. But I'm saying you can't, you can't compare.

Because if I saw you in a crochet bikini with your butt showing in the see-through skirt on a boat, I'd be like, Nicole, we need to rain it in a bit. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't wear that. Don't worry. I mean, I all mean, there has to be, there has to be something in between the crocheted see-through skirt and like the denim culots. I mean, there has to be something in between. I don't know. I don't know if there is.

There is. Listen, I actually really pushed the boat out and got myself some new track suit bottoms that weren't really disgusting. I was quite pleased with them. And then I spilled tomato sauce on them and it won't come out. Right. Okay. You're not helping. And I just thought, maybe it's a sign I need to stop wearing track suit bottoms.

And then I thought, no, I think I'm just going to rebuy them and buy them in loads of different colors. Okay. I think I'm now starting to understand what the problem is, and it's you? I think I'm just accepting of where I am. It's you. It's you. You're the problem. Yeah.

I mean, by all means, rejig the wardrobe, your hair, re-judge it all for the paddle court and the local dog walk. Honestly, walk that catwalk if it makes you feel better. I did, but I did make a purchase in the self-portrait sale. Yeah. And I bought a, a, it sounds disgusting. it isn't it's very gold yeah you like gold i love it a very gold shirt with a big pussy bow you've been looking for that shirt for a year have i yes well i found it anyway found it found it but what do you mean i've been looking for it we saw that shirt somewhere and then we were looking for it we couldn't

find it someone was wearing it in a book or something happened we were looking for it and looking for it I think someone came in who was a stylist and we were looking at her book and in the book she had this gold shirt with the big pussy bone you were like, oh my God, I love that shirt and then we looked for the shirt and we couldn't find the shirt.

Anyway, well it was in the self-portrait sale and I bought it and it came yesterday and my mum and dad were around the kids were downstairs, everyone was in the room, Adam, everyone was there and I opened it and I pulled out this you know very gold, very pussy bowed shirt and they were like, what the fuck?

Yeah, everyone's like, what is that? And I pulled it out and Daisy just went no, mum, no. No, straight away, no. And I'm like, fuck you all. I didn't say that. I'm like, this is totally fabulous with a high-wasted wide-leg gene. I'm telling you, this is going to work.

And there was just like tumbleweed. Yeah. I had a similar experience, actually. Now we're really going there on Christmas Eve. I had a dress that I'd bought for something else. I thought it's very Christmas Eve because we have a big Christmas Eve party. It was like velvet and it had little like silver studs all over it. It's quite cool.

So I put it on, because that was what I was planning to wear, immediately no. Why? Immediately no. Mumsy? Yeah. It's what I mean? It suddenly went from looking like, oh my God, what a cool Christmas dress to like, I am my grandma. Yeah.

This is what happened with the leopard print shorts, I'm telling you. I know what you mean. Last year they were fine. Honestly, at the party I wore them to, I wore it to cracking. Christmas Eve afternoon, I was like, this is literally like the worst dress. Okay, so you finally understand what I'm saying. I look, I'm out 62. Yeah.

Honestly, it's like if you invited your great aunt to a do and she wore a dress that was a bit sparkly and you'd have to say to her, oh, you look nice. Yeah. Auntie, in your dress, it was like that. Off. Off. So I went up to my wardrobe, look through, look through, look through, found on a hangar.

You've got so many clothes. I found on a hanger this jumpsuit. I actually didn't even know what I had. I'd bought so long ago and I'd still never worn it. Also, sounds fucking disgusting. it is red and pink leopard print silk jumpsuit. Okay. It's either fabulous or gross, but I'm going to go with fabulous.

Put it on, thought, I think I hate this, but literally people are coming in two minutes. I'm just going to wear it. And everyone came in and they were like, wow, great outfit, great jumpsuit. And I was like, really, I hate it. And I did that all day. You sure, you sure, you sure. And then Ollie looked at me and he was like, what is that? Anyway, should we go on to a dilemma?

Before we dive into our lemmas, a quick disclaimer, the first of 2026, believe it or not. Even though it's a new year, we're still not doctors or healthcare professionals. We can't even get dressed. So if there is an issue you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Okay, hi. I wanted to get your thoughts on something that happened at Christmas. because I can't quite decide how I feel about it. Okay, well, we can't decide how we feel about anything today, so you're in good company.

I'm 33 and single. I went to a family's house for Christmas dinner. I've known them for a few years, and we get on well. I'm vegetarian, so I brought some of my own food so I wouldn't be a hassle. Oh, that's so thoughtful. I used to do that when I was vegan. Also, there's loads of sides at Christmas lunch, so you could have just had, surely just not had the turkey and had everything else. I also bought Christmas presents for everyone, which felt like,

the normal thing to do. When it came to present time, they all exchanged gifts with each other. I didn't get anything at all. What made it worse was that no one even said thank you for the presents I brought. No, no, no. I just sort of sat there feeling really awkward and not knowing where to put myself. Part of me thinks inviting me for Christmas dinner was a kind thing to do. Maybe the presents I brought were just a thank you for that. But another part of me can't help feeling a bit hurt. Even just a card or a thank you so much would have gone a long way. Why being unreasonable to think that this was a bit mean, or should I just let it go? Thanks, Anonymous. I'm sorry, something doesn't sit right here. How can people not thank you

if you've given them gifts? Isn't it just a natural thing that if someone gives you a gift, you open it and you say thank you so much? But also, if you are invited, and she does say I'm just checking, I went to a family's, family's house for Christmas dinner. If you've invited someone... I went to a family's house for Christmas and I've known there for a few years. So it's not her family. Oh, it's not her family. I've known them for a few years and we get on well.

Okay. If you've invited this person who you know is single and coming on their own, personally speaking, I've done that. I would buy that person a present. Four. Wouldn't you? If I was giving... If we were doing the present thing, yes.

Well, just generally, if they were coming for Christmas Day, I would buy them a present. I don't know. You do the whole Christmas thing. I don't really do the Christmas thing. We're usually away for Christmas. So I don't really know what the etiquette is, and it wasn't until I was halfway through the holiday,

and I turned around to my eldest, and I said, I forgot to get her boyfriend a Christmas present. Oh. Yeah, but I don't do Christmas presents. I didn't buy my parents a Christmas present. I didn't buy my sister. Adam and I didn't do Christmas presents. We didn't get the girls.

Like, I did not... But you kind of bypass it if you're away for the whole period. It's just not, you're just not doing it. We just don't do it. Yeah.

We just don't do it. Okay, let me just say, for example, let's say you lost your passport and Adam had to go on holiday with the children and you were stuck at home for Christmas, okay? It was never going to happen.

And you came to me for Christmas Day and there are presents because everyone is exchanging presents. I would absolutely make sure that you had a present to open because I would feel a bit weird if you were there with everyone, everyone was exchanging gifts and you didn't have a present. Like that would be horrible.

It didn't have to be something big, but just so you had something to open. So a few years ago, I did Christmas lunch when we were here. I think it was COVID. Yeah. So no one was going anywhere. And I did invite my friend over, who is single. I don't think I bought her a present, but we weren't, but we had another family over, but there wasn't a present swapping thing. No.

Okay. So I didn't buy the gift. That's fine then. But if there was a present swapping thing, yes, of course I would buy a gift for everybody that was there. Yes. I wouldn't leave someone out. That's what I mean. And if you're aware this person's coming alone for Christmas Day and you're all going to have a moment after lunch where you're exchanging gifts, I would want them to have a gift.

100%. So I think that's not, it's just a bit thoughtless. And yes, it was nice to invite you over for Christmas dinner. It wasn't a kind thing to do. But if you're going to be making Christmas dinner and you're buying everyone in your household and family presents, buying one more present is not a big deal. And also saying thank you for the presents that you've bought them. See, that's not, I'm not down with that. I'm not down with that either. So I really understand, you know, I really do validate her feelings here. I would feel exactly the same way. What I would like to caveat that with is that people don't go out of their way to upset anybody. So there's no way that they've done this to hurt her or to upset her or to, you know, to give her any negative experience in any way. I think it's exactly as you said, it's just them being a bit thoughtless. I think that's a very valid point, actually.

Yeah. they have not gone okay she's coming for Christmas lunch let's not buy her present yeah and also when she gives a gift let's not say thank you like no one behaves that way yeah they want her there they want her to be part of it and I think they've just kind of they were just a bit thoughtless and considerate yeah no we we don't think you're being unreasonable should we cut to a break yes and then when we come back we've got a little article that I found that I want to bring to the show can't wait and some meltdowns great I found this article

In light of what we talked about at the top of the show that I am turning 50 soon, I wanted to give you the list of celebrities that are turning 50 in 2026. Which is not you because you're turning 50 in 2027. Okay. Well, I'm not a celebrity either. Not this year.

Maybe in 2027. Not with my wardrobe as it currently is. Okay, Emma Bunton. Hello, baby spice is turning 50. Yes, even she ages. Baby Spice is turning 50. Well, I mean, I always felt like the Spice Girls were much older than me. But I didn't really appreciate it. But as you've gotten older, do you still think they're older than you, because I don't. I do. Oh, no. I always feel like, the same age as me. It never occurred to me at the time when they were pop stars, they were just a few years older than me. I thought they were much older. But they're not. Okay. But also.

So it does feel weird that she's turning 50, yes. It does, right? Yeah. Like this young woman who's still called baby spouse, I mean, she'll be called baby swice, which is turning 80. That's so creepy, though, isn't it? Is it creepy?

Yeah, it's weird. It's weird. Why is it weird? I don't know. What's creepy about it? It reminds me of like whatever happened to baby Jane, you know, when Betty Davis is still dressing up as the child star, even though she's in her 70s.

She's not dressing up. No, I know, I know, I know. Abundton's not. No, but, you know, then what's called a baby. Anyway, Isla Fisher. Ila Fisher. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't have thought she was turning 50. No, she looks good. Rashida Jones. She was in the office, Parks and Rec. She's a writer-produce and documentary creator.

Yeah. Ali Larta. Now, she is in Land-Band. She's the wife in Land-Man. She's 50? She was in Legally Blonde. Do you remember in Legally Blonde? I mean, she's 50 and fabulous.

If you have not seen Lamar, listening at home, listeners, you have got to just watch it for her because her body... Her body! ...is like something of a 20-year-old. Can I also say on Instagram the other day, there was a photo that Elizabeth Day posted of various photos of her at her New Year's Eve party, which was a James Bond-themed party

hosted by Liz Hurley and her son, Damien Hurley. Now everyone is in tuxes He's weird Damien Hurley There's something I need to do a dive into that Just I don't know what Yeah there's something going on there By what?

Basically he's just her Young 20 something but he looks Exactly like her I mean exactly like her Even with the long hair No no but I mean like with the long hair He looks like her

It's a whole thing Anyway Everyone's in like As you can imagine a Jamesborn party Black dresses Tuxes Everything else Liz Hurley

She would have made a good bon girl Liz Hurley Do you know what she's wearing for her own New Year's Eve. She's wearing for her own New Year's Eve party on New Year's Eve. Just a white bikini. You're choking.

On my life. Just a white bikini. That's her outfit. And then I begin to think, like, did she theme the party purposely so she could just wear an Ursula and dress white bikini? Yes.

Anyway, her body, I don't know how old she is. 57. Her body is to die for. Is it? Oh, my. I have to look at this. I'm going to Google. I'm Googling this now.

Look at Elizabeth Day, a recent post news. Liz Hurley, New Year's Eve. Here we go. I did not look like this on New Year's Eve. Are you sure? She does not look mumsy. She fucking knows of it. Jesus Christ.

I know. She's also got a fur coat on, which I'm absolutely loving. In the Elizabeth Day photos, there's no fur coat. It's just the white. Oh, she took it off a half a set. She looks. Right. Amazing.

I think she looks better then than she did in the black Vassarci dress on Hugh Grant's arm. Yeah. She's 60, Elizabeth Hurley. No way. Wow. Jesus Christ. She's 60. Okay, I see what you mean about her son.

Yeah. Something a bit off. A bit off centre. He's a funny looking fella. He looks like he's had a lot of work done. That's what I'm saying. What's he done to his face? She does not look like she's had work done, but there's no way that you can look like that at 60.

She's 60 years old. It's like her whole body's had a face live. But the thing is, is that she's a terrible actress. Terrible. She's not really acting anymore. Is she? No, but she... That's what she's famous for.

Or is she famous for being Hugh Grant's girlfriend? I think she's famous for wearing that Versacea dress with the safety pins. She wasn't famous before that, was she? Well, it was an iconic moment in fashion history. It really was. How can I create that moment? It won't be with those leather prints shorts. I could get the leopard shorts and then the crochet bikini.

And then I could put blue tack, like, down the middle of it. and you could wear that out like to maybe Gail's Bakery and I can pat you You can wear your sparkly dress Oh God, I don't want to wear that sparkly dress Maybe it'll make me look better

No, but anyone look better It's going on vintage that dress Oh, okay Well she's not turning 50, Liz Hurley No She looks amazing Freddie Prince Jr is turning 50 Wow, okay

Yeah I mean Freddie Prince Jr., surely he's still 22 Well isn't Zach Effron also So he's still 22, but no, he's not. Zach Efron, no, let's not. Zach Efron is not. He looks awful now. Treadful. He's also had too much work done. Reese Witherspoon? Yeah, I believe she's 50. She's a solid 50. She really feels deeply 50 to me now. Oh, that's mean. I don't mean that in a mean way, but she feels very 50 to me. She feels very 50. She feels very 50. Solid 50. I mean, please God, by me when I'm 50, but I'm just saying she feels a solid

50 but she doesn't she's not playing a 50 year old in the morning show no is she I think she's still playing a like a woman in her 30s she looks 50 in a good way I don't think she looks 50 she doesn't look 50 she does she's achieved a lot for a 50 year old I'm saying it's great it's great but Melissa Joan Hart wow yes who's that she was in the she was like Clarissa explains it was Sabrina the teenage witch she's definitely not a teenage witch anymore. Sabrina, the middle-aged witch. Sillian Murphy

from Oppenheimer and Peeky Blinders. I believe that. Colin Farrell. Yeah. That's a bit of a shame. I feel like Colin Farrell's been 50 for a long time. He hasn't. He hasn't.

Benedict Cumberbatch? Yeah. Oh, so none of this is coming as a surprise for you. No, none of these people have particularly, they're not really surprised. Jar rule. Jar rule. Now, I don't know who he is, but I can't picture him in my mind. Okay.

You know, Timothy. Shalame, or if you're really pretentious, Timitay Shalame. Yeah, you know who I mean? Yeah, yeah. How old do you think he is? He's 30 years old. Okay. I went to see Marcy Supreme in the holidays, and he is a tiny, scrawny little thing.

And I don't get it, because all the girls are cuckoo over him. No. I don't get it either. I don't get it. Do you not think he's just, he's just like the hottest actor around? I don't know. And I said to Max, like, why are all the girls so crazy cuckoo for Timothy Shalame? He's like a scrawny little boy, or is it just that I'm really, really old?

Max was like, he's so sexy. Why are you asking Max? Because Max is 22. Yeah, but he's also a boy and he's straight. Why wouldn't you ask like Zach's girlfriend? I did ask her as well, but I wanted to know like what the vibe was around. He was like, no, mum, you don't get it. He's like so sexy.

I'm like, why is he sexy? He said because it used to be the thing to be like really buff and have these big arms and have everything else. But now he said it's like this thing to be kind of lithe and like, you know, very little, very slim. I was like, no. He looks like, I could snap him. Is that what's trendy for boys now then? I don't know. It's like an anti-buff vibe.

Like, I'm so cool and rich and famous. I don't need to have big arms. I can just be really skinny and cool. No. And then I asked my son's girlfriend, I was like, do you get this Timothy Shalameh thing? Because to me, like, no. She was like, yeah, yeah.

He's cool. He's like, yeah, he's good. I'm like, is he good looking? She's like, yeah, I'm like, I think I'm just really old then. Because to me, he's also very young. I feel like I need to, like, make him a pat lunch. Meltdowns, had any? Well, I didn't.

Good. Oh. You look good. Come on, you want me to bring a meltdown, don't you? Sure. Why not? It's the new year, after all. And I thought, I haven't got any meltdowns.

I've been in Thailand for three weeks. Why would I have any meltdowns? It would be rude of me to bring a meltdown and to bring something negative to this show. That's just not my vibe right now. I've been flip-flops on a beach and sunshine in my heart. That's where I'm at.

But then I remembered. So whilst I was away, I've got a bit of a problem with like waxing. In what respect? Like, like, like, I went away for three weeks. Yeah. Okay, hair grows in three weeks.

Okay. Yeah. So, I mean, your legs, you can shave. I'm lazed, so it doesn't grow. So am I, so it wasn't a problem, but I'm not lasered on my face. Oh. And as I become more menopausal, my head, my face, my face, yeah. My face becomes hairier.

Don't you just travel with a pair of tweezers at all times? I do travel with tweezers, but you're not going to, like, pluck it out of your upper lip. Oh. You need to laser that shit. I know. Okay. Now I know. Maybe that's her 2026.

It is. I had a mental message her this morning. Anyway, the point is, is that I took little waxing strips, you know, like the facial waxing strips. You didn't just do the full magnum pi on holiday. No, I thought about it. Anyway, Timothy Shalame has a moustache. But Timothy Shalame, it's the whole thing, it's a whole multi-supreme vibe. Timothy Shalame is a man. He is, yeah. And he identifies as a man. Yeah. So that's accepted. That's more acceptable in society to have a moustache. And also, moustaches are very trendy with young men. So I'm saying, you could have just said, don't mock me.

I'm just doing a Timothy channel. I didn't want to. I was already feeling mumsy. I didn't need to make the situation any worse. Anyway, so I waxed it, but they didn't come out. Because now that I'm menopausal, they're now like really resistant. Maybe they just melted the, maybe the wax strips melted in the feet. They hadn't melted.

The wax strips were fine. Anyway, so I went over and over and over the same bit. Oh, that was very silly. Can you see here? Now you've really pointed it out to me, I can see. I literally ripped skin off of my upper lip. So not only have I come home jet lagged up to my eyeballs after this beautiful three-week trip,

I've got a stinking cold, and I also have a nice scab on my upper lip. At least you have a moustache. No, I was too scared to do the other side, so I do. You have half a moustache. Brilliant. And now I've come back. I just don't care. Okay. Well, I mean, if you want to go with Momsie, that does definitely adds to the look.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it wasn't the shorts that were the problem. No, I was just thinking. The leper print denim shorts sound quite cool. The moustache not so much. Right, come on, what's your meltdown? Oh, okay. So it is a twixtman. those ridiculous it's the days between Christmas

and New Year which are just nothing no one knows what day it is no one knows what time it is no one knows anything

there's just cheese in the fridge and it's a weekend every day so it's Twixmas and Why is it called Twixmas because it makes me

want a Twix Time betwixt Christmas and New Year Twixmas Silly I'm driving past my

vet which is about 15, 20 minutes from my house towards home and the phone rings and it's Zach, my 19 year old. Mum, the dog's just eaten raisins. This is the puppy, the nine-month puppy.

I'm like, what do you mean she's eaten raisins? How did she get raisins? How many raisins? One raisins. I said, how does she get a raisin? Max fed it to her. Let's bear in mind Max is about to turn 22. He's had a dog all his life.

Like, sorry, pardon me. I think he gets naughtier as he gets older. Max has fed the dog a rat. Why? He forgot. Oh. Okay. They're allergic to them.

They're a toxin. Right. I'm like, she's quite big, one raisin? Yeah, I was like, okay, you know what? She's a 23 kilogram dog. It's one raisin. I'm not thrilled because that is a really stupid thing to do, but it's fine.

No, no, no, no, mum. You don't understand. I've chat, GPTed it and it says you have to call the vet. Right. Okay, I'll call the vet. I'll just do the right thing. So I call the vet. Hi, the dog's eating a raisin.

when did she eat the raisin? 15 minutes ago. She has to be in within 40 minutes. I'm like, well, I'm actually passing you, but I don't have the dog with me, so I'm going to have to go home, get the dog. I was like, listen, be serious with me. One raisin, 23 kilogram dog.

If it was chocolate, we could weigh the chocolate and then we could weigh the dog, but it's raisins. One raisin that could shut down her kidneys and you won't even know today, but tomorrow she could die. Shut up. And I was like, what?

Don't be ridiculous. I used to like feed my old dog dairy milk in the 80s. I swear I fed my dog dairy milk. Anyway, in chocolate, it's not the same thing. You know, that's why I don't, this is a vet. I don't even keep grapes in the house. I'm like, why not? Dogs aren't toddlers. They can't open the fridge. What's that about? Anyway, so we're shutting at seven. And if you don't get her in here, this is a Friday night. And if you don't get in here by seven, you have to take her to the animal hospital. I'm like, fuck that. It's like a thousand pounds. So I go home. I said, Max, get in the car.

pick up the dog, put her in the car, and get in the car. We are going to the vet. Was she all right at the dog? Perfectly fine. But obviously an imminent kidney failure. So we drive to the vet. I see the vet. I'm like, listen, come on.

Let's not be silly here. Yeah, yeah. No, Lauren, I'm sorry. Do you want to take the risk? Do you want to? She's right. It's not worth. And I was like, do I?

Because I thought if he was Barker, who ate an entire metal tube of liver paste, including the metal tube and was fine, I would have been like, it's a razor. I'm not even calling the vet. Max was like, Mom, I don't want the dead puppy on my hands over Christmas because you'll all go on and on forever how I killed the dog. So can we just do it? Fine. So they take her in the back room, they give her an injection to make her sick. Oh, Marley's had this before. For half an hour.

She's throwing up, throwing up, throwing up. And then they have to give her another injection to stop her being sick before dog. So she comes back in, the vets like, oh my gosh, she was lying in my arms just vomiting and vomiting. That comes back with a bucket, with the sick in the bucket. In the bucket is a load of just clear saliva. No, wait for it. Two whole dog treats. There's no raisin.

There's no raisin. The raisin's not there. The vet's like, where's the raisin? I said, Max, are you sure you fed the dog a raisin? He's like, I was eating some panitone. I hate raisins. I chucked the raisin on the floor. The dog ate the raisin.

was gone from the floor and then Zach said what the fuck have you done just fed the dog a raisin so I phoned Zach I said that if I get home and I find a raisin on the kitchen floor and then the dog eats that raisin I am going to lose my shit anyway 183 pounds for an imaginary raisin. That's my meltdown. Nice, right? Did you find the raisin? No. Okay.

Well, that's... This is not worth the risk. It isn't 183 power. Poor B, but that's so mean. But she also... I don't think she'd even eat it anyway. Anyway, that's my meltdown. There are some listeners...

We asked the listeners to write in with their Christmas meltdowns. Oh, yeah. Like what had happened to their... them over Christmas and they delivered. Oh, come on. Thank you. Thank you. I ate all the chocolate coins that I bought for the kid's stockings. Happens every fucking year. Yeah, standard.

I lost a 45 pound present for my daughter. It's got to be in the house somewhere, but we've searched high and low and it's nowhere to be seen. I'm blaming my brain fog, but finances are tight at the moment so we could do without having to re-buy it. Yep, understand that one. My husband spent Christmas Day night at the emergency vet. Oh!

Oh, as our dog had snaffled up a whole box of celebrations, including the rappers. That is something to make the dog sick for. Yeah, but in 1985, that was just normal Christmas behaviour. My mum used to buy chocolate buttons for the dog. And every time we went to English, she goes, no, no, no, they're for the dog. I swear. She claims she didn't, but my sister and I are both convinced of it. This woman this morning on a dog walk told me that in the 80s, when they had a dog,

they used to buy her a packet of mortisers every week and give her Maltisers. And they say, here's your Maltese. And it was like, completely standard. They all lived these dogs. And what's happened to these new dogs? They can't eat one raisin. Well, it's like now everyone's got like a peanut allergy. A gluten allergy.

Oh yeah. And no one ever used to have one in the 80s. Did you ever hear of anyone in the 80s that was allergic to gluten? Nobody. I didn't even know what gluten was in the 80s. No, nobody did. Also, you drank milk. Nobody gave a shit.

No, everyone drank milk and ate cheese and everyone was also fine with the old lactose. They weren't milking squirrels in the 80s either, were they? Or an almond. No, no one was milking an almond. He said the waiting room was like a suspect's line-up of guilty-looking dogs who had stolen chocolates, Christmas puddings and Christmas cake, all waiting for charcoal and tummies emptying a very, very costly Christmas day. Yep, I hear you.

I bought my son, who is at uni, a slow cooker, because he said his girlfriend had told him that he needed one. She got him one too. Nobody wants two slow-cookers for Christmas. You know? I actually need a slow-go-go-guer. So if it's going to sell on the cheap, I might take that. Look, I'm Vinted.

Also, I love the fact that it was girlfriend's... If you say one more thing about Vintage. What? Oh, because you're still locked out. I'm still locked out. And now my daughter has clogged on to the fact that she... I can't even talk about Vinted. I think I'm outing my mother-in-law here,

but she sent a message saying that we're doing a family photo shoot on Boxing Day. Everybody had to be dressed in white. Ah, like this but early. Like an E-17 music video. I replied to the message, what the actual fuck, this is fucking tragic, but it was intended to my husband, not my mill. Oh, that's so awkward. And also you can't backtrack on that.

You can't. So hideous. And also, if you don't have that relationship with your mother-in-law, like if I said my mother-in-law that, it's just, that would not go down well. And rightly so. Would you all? No. I wouldn't even say that to my parents.

Although, to be honest, there's no way that my parents or my in-laws would want a family photo shoot with everybody dressed in white. I mean, it's unlikely. That would never happen. It's unlikely. Okay, that is our first show back, the 40-ish. We hope that you're pleased to have us back. We're delighted to be back.

We are. A big, happy new year to all of you. We're going to be back on Tuesdays and Thursdays. From now on, I know that we were only releasing once a week, but we are now back to twice a week, so don't worry. All systems are now resuming as normal now that it is. is January. Yep.

We will be back on Thursday with a brand new episode. And we shall speak to you then. If you want to keep in touch, which we love you to be hello at 40ish.com.com. Okay, please keep messages coming in and we'll speak to you soon. Bye-bye.