40ish - Midlife Spring Style Special

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

Today on 40ish: Lauren ambushes Nicole with a Spring Style Special - a surprise absolutely nobody asked for (least of all Nicole), but like all good midlife crises, we commit and carry on anyway. Together they tackle the truly vital issues: are denim jackets officially mumsy now? And why someone calling Lauren “brave” for butter yellow nails is somehow both a compliment and an insult. They cover the reality of living in leggings, debating if New Look is no longer acceptable and wondering if co-ords are effortlessly chic or just giving pyjamas?  Also, Lauren has bought jelly shoes. Yes, really. No, we’re not okay. Expect tangents, mild outrage, and a cautionary tale from a listener of the “jelly bra” that promised lift, separation and miracles… and delivered absolutely none of the above.If you love it, share it with a friend who’s also standing in front of their wardrobe wondering what happened.Get in touch! Email [e-mail] a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-navigating-midlife-and-menopause--6942825/support.We love to hear from you! Get in touch with your dilemmas and rants.DM & follow us on Instagram   TikTokOrder Our Book hereBecome a supporter of this podcast https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-navigating-midlife-and-perimenopause--6942825/support?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rss

If you turned up to my door in gold, lame potplants, I would be like, everything okay? What if I was like, yeah, I love them. I agree. You look, it's too young for you at 44. I'm sorry, full stop. Actually, I'm not sorry. Just no.

These can we talk about co-words. There's a poker dot set in MNS that I have my eye on for a smart date from November. Every time I try this idea out, I never end up going for it, as I can't decide if it's style of basically particularly. Jarmas. Okay, here's my fashion meltdown. By the way, I don't have a fashion meltdown. And look, I'll have plenty to say about mine.

Don't worry. So everybody, welcome to 40. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Laura Michigan. This is the podcast tackling 40-something life diving into the news, your stories, your dilemmas, bringing our own mess and challenges of navigating mid-life. Don't forget you can subscribe on Apple Podcast for early access and ad-free listening across this show and self-case.

Club and you can watch the video every week on YouTube. Lucky, lucky you. And if you've got something to share big or small, we want to hear it. So please do email us hello at 40ish.com.com. Please be in touch and be part of the conversation. And if you're loving the show, we please ask you very kindly to share the show, share it with your friends, share it with your work colleagues, anyone that you think will enjoy this content. The more ears we reach, the more we can keep bringing 40-ish to you week on week.

This week is a special episode because it's the spring style special, mainly because I just loved the alliteration of it. Okay. So all the dilemmas, all the questions, everything is revolving around midlife women's dilemmas and things to do with style, beauty, fashion and where are we with jeans? That's it. You know? It's a big part of waking up in the morning. It's the, it's the fashion special. It's spring style special.

I went to the nail salon on Friday, Thursday. Friday, I can't remember. Friday, I think it was. And I had this colour. This colour. Yeah. It is a butter yellow. Yeah, butter yellow is huge.

It's all over the shops. I didn't know that. I did because I've taken both my girls shopping on separate occasions. It's everywhere. So the girl said, what should we do? Do you want to do a bright red? said, you know, for some weird reason, I really fancy the butter yellow. She said, oh, okay.

So we did the butter yellow. And the woman at the next chair looked over at me and she said, you're very brave. And I said, no, not brave, not going to war or the front line. So just nail polish. Just nail polish. And she was like, yeah, I guess so. And then it was finished and she looked at me and she went, and I said, you know, you're saying, mm, in a positive way,

but your face is saying something different. And she said, no, no, show me them. And I showed them. She went, actually, they're really nice. And brave. And I was like, okay, let's stop using the word brave because it's not even a tattoo. Just now polish. And in three weeks time, it'll change it for another colour.

Yeah. But really, is that where we are? It's definitely not the epitome of brave. Is that where we are now? Whether it's brave. And I thought, brave's just a polite word for disgusting, isn't it? No. That's really what she was trying to say.

No, what she's saying is, oh, you've gone for something different, that's brave. Do you know what? But she probably... Love it. She's probably the client who. who's having a French week on week on week on week. I just feel like it is... Sorry, my nail woman often tells me that I'm brave.

Really? Yeah. But isn't it the most easily changeable thing that you could do to yourself? It's not a haircut. And I also think like if there's one place that you can have a bit of fun, it is with your nails. I totally agree. And I always say that. And if I fancy the colour when I go in, I'm having the colour because I can change it a few weeks later.

Although I wouldn't say you were wacky with your nails. No. I don't do anything crazy No But I mean Why not express oneself In a small way? I don't think you express oneself

In your nails I think I do I don't think you do I think this is quite expressive It is I'm loving them Actually It is

It is They're bringing me spring joy But you only You only ever do like a colour One colour What about when I had Each nail In a different pastel colour

Last Easter That was very nice Like little cabbies Mini Egghans Yeah that was very nice They were cute Yeah they were cute I don't really

understand some of this feedback. I did ask, let me know about your style dilemmas and things and things that are going on for you as a midlife woman. And there was some, I'm just going to read you the responses. Maybe you can translate. Leggings 24-7, full stop. I want jeans, but none fit, full-stop, black bottoms, grab shirts. That makes total sense. Black bottoms grab shirts? Yeah. As in? She's wearing black leggings. Yeah. And she's just grabbing shirts. and sticking them on. Okay. Okay.

That's what she's saying. She wants to wear jeans. None of them fit her. She doesn't like any of the fits of jeans. So she's just sticking to her black leggings. And a shirt. Grab shirt. Grab a shirt.

Yeah. Okay. I mean, fine. Fine? That's fine. Well, it's not fine because obviously she's not expressing her style needs. She's just going for ease and comfort. Which is fine.

There's a lot to be said for ease and comfort. There is. and I'm definitely not. I'm in black leggings today. I mean, I haven't even bothered putting jeans on today. And this is literally the one hour of the week that I do put jeans on, but I haven't bothered. Because you can't see them anyway.

I mean, to be fair, you can't see them. If I had jeans on or I had black leggings on or I had a mini skirt on, you would be none the wiser. You could have Kylie's Gold Sequent Hot Pants and you're spinning around video on and no one would know. Could you imagine if I turned up? If I turns up to the show wearing those, you would be concerned, right?

I would wonder where you were going. after recording. Wouldn't you wonder what the fuck was going on? I would wonder. Yeah. Would you say something? Would I wonder out loud or wonder in my own head? I think you would need to wonder out loud because that would be quite concerning.

I mean, if you turned up to my door in gold, lame, hot pants, I would be like, is everything okay? What if I was like, yeah, I love them. I bought them on Vinted. They're a replica of Kylie's ones. 18 sizes large. I can see that. Yeah. Don't you love them on me?

It's very unusual that you are wearing gold lamey hot pants. Kylie wore them at 50. I can wear them. She wasn't 50, which is just spinning around. How old was she? Definitely in her 40s. Yeah. Yeah.

She's also Kylie Minogue. Yeah. I'd say Kylie wore them in her 40s so I can. I'd be like, okay. And I would keep a very close eye on you. You'll be like, okay, should put a coat on? be like, have you eaten? Have you slept?

Should I call Ollie? I would basically text Ollie. Is she all right? It's what I would do. What would you do? Would you not sort of say to Adam? No, I would not say anything to Adam because Adam has no say in what goes on in your wardrobe.

No, it's not about the wardrobe. It would be like obviously something is... I may make eyes at Adam in a way of like, have you seen your wife's outfit today. But then Adam would give me the eye roll of like, Like, yeah, that's what she's wearing. You know, I don't think Adam would pipe up about that. I think if I was wearing gold lame hot pants and I came down.

On a Monday morning. Yeah, and I came downstairs when you had rung the doorbell and Bieber ran in and Miley's having a growl at her and all the things that happened on a Monday morning. And I walk into the kitchen and I say good morning to you. And I'm wearing gold Lame hot pants with a t-shirt. I think one of you should be very, very concerned and should say, like, what's going on? Sometimes you order some stuff from the internet and it comes and then it's like, I ordered this amazing thing. Then you'll put it on and then you'll be like, oh, it's awful.

So I would maybe wonder if you'd ordered them as like a holiday evening outfit and you were just trying them out. Gold Lamey Hopperse. Maybe. Maybe. Post hysterectomy. I mean, it's just not a good look. You can't see the history. It's not the point.

It's very significant or it feels that way. You did say the other day that you were looking for a proper summer wardrobe. So I probably would have just remembered that comment and gone like, okay, that's the direction she's going in. You're fucking wouldn't. You are such a little fibber. You would be very concerned. I think I would want you to be very concerned. Because that would be concerning.

If you were wearing the hot pants, if you were wearing the hot pants, let me tell you something. I would say to you firstly, what's with the hot pants? And you would say, what, they're my summer look. Yeah, they're my summer. They're my summer, my spring, summer, 2026 look. And I would say, okay. And then I would see. Are you having a nervous breakdown?

I would secretly go off and call Ollie. Would you? Yeah. I mean a million percent. And if he'd be like, what? What's wrong with the hot pants? Then I would call Jackie. And Jackie, I would say to Jackie, don't tell me they're okay because this is not okay.

And I'm very, very, very worried. Jackie would say, listen, she's started on her HRT. She's a whole new woman now. This is the wardrobe. Jackie would not say that. This is the wardrobe. Jackie would not say that. Jackie would say, gosh, what would Jackie say about that?

What would Jackie say? Jackie would say something like, are you planning on going to the beach in them? Oh, she'd say something like, oh, they're sparkly. Are they for the beach? Like she'd try and find a reason why I was wearing them, make them appropriate. Anyway, you have turned up this morning in a nice wide leg gene. Actually, they're actually a straight leg, believe it or not.

They look like a wide leg. I agree, they do. They look good on you, I like them. And I have turned up in my black leggings because I'm going to play paddle after and I just can't be bothered to keep changing. But what we have both turned up in is red and white trainers.

Yes, we have. Yes, we jolly well have. And we haven't even mentioned it. Like, no one's mentioned it. James mentioned it. He was like, oh, twinning, cute. He said, oh, that's cute. Yeah.

But we haven't mentioned it. Because we often twin accidentally of a Monday morning. We do, we do. And actually, the jumper that you're wearing, I was wearing one very, very similar this morning to the gym in black. Well, there you go. See? Is it Lula Lemon?

No, it's not. It's just Zara. All right. Sorry. It's just plain. It's just an average three-quarter zip-up. But I felt like I needed it. So was mine.

It just felt like I needed a three-quarters zip-up in my life. So was mine. I've brought two recently. Have you? I've got a pink one as well. It's this colour. Mine's like a dusty pink. Oh, I think I prefer that. I don't love the colour, but it was on sale. Oh, okay. I was not on sale. I don't know if I'm going to keep it.

I'm going to see how feel about it. It came with some like wide-legged bottoms in a matching colour and they're not very flattering on me. The Zara ones never are. Not on you, on any one. They're not flattering on it. No, you can't wear Zara tracks your bottoms. That's a no-go. Yeah, I was thinking that this morning. but the colour is so pretty and they're much more suitable than a hot pant

anyway someone else said I'm seeing silk scarves worn always Lauren you're already cool remember when I had my silk scarf Where is she seeing this? I don't know I've seen silk scarves though Necks are a very big thing in midlife

and older What do you mean I never ever think about my neck Nora Ephron wrote a whole book about it Why I Hate My Neck and other stories And she only ever wore a polo neck to hide her neck She wrote a whole book about her neck Well, it was about being middle age, but that was the title of the book. But there are lots of women who get to a certain age who wear polo necks to hide their wrinkly necks.

I think you can have necklifts now. God, I'd be so upset if I had to wear a polo neck all the time to hide my neck. I wouldn't. I'd totally own that as a chic look. Maybe when I get to 60, I am just going to roll a polo neck every day or a silk scarf. I could see myself doing that, actually. Because I would never have a necklift. You'd have the necklift and be done with it, and I would just wear the polo necks.

Well, I probably wouldn't be done with it, would I. I'd have the necklift. I'm not going to have a necklift. No, don't have a necklift. I don't want, I literally. Where does the rest of it go? Like, what happens? They take it out.

Oh, no. I don't want, no. I don't want a necklift. No, I don't think you. I've never thought about my neck. There's nothing wrong with my neck. Like, leave my neck alone. Yeah, it's fine.

They're fine for now. They do age, though. We have got a lot to cover in these dilemmas. And I'm going to tell you from the top. Dilemmas, yeah, plural. We don't need. God, I really have come on prepared today. We don't need a disclaimer because there is absolutely nothing controversial or medical that we're going to cover.

It's just about fashion. So I'm not even doing the disclaimer this week. Wow. Here we go. I'm 44. I don't know what to wear. New look now feels too young for me. Send help.

Yes. New look. I agree. New look is too young for you at 44. I'm sorry. Full stop. Actually, I'm not sorry. Just no.

It's a new look. I'm 44. Just, just no. Don't you agree? No. Oh, okay. I don't agree. Would you go in New Look now?

No, I don't generally go into New Look. Firstly, they've closed all the New Look stores. So I don't go into New Look anyway. Okay. That's the first thing. Yeah. Secondly, actually, it's not a place of my kids' shop, New Look. Well, not if they're wearing Niles makeup.

Yeah. You can't wear New Look clothes, haven't you? No, no. But New Look, it just isn't, it just isn't aimed at them. I don't know who it's aimed at. But I don't think there's, you can always find pieces. It's like saying you're too old for henis.

H&M, you're not. I'm not. Half my wardrobe has been from H&M, my summer wardrobe. It's having a really good season. I love H&M. Right. So why is New Look?

You're too old for New Look, but not H&M is the same thing. I don't know. New Look feels just generally as a store very dated. Yeah, I think it is. I'm not sure if you get to an age where there are stores

that you cannot shop in anymore. I'm trying to think of, are there any shops? Like, I probably wouldn't go into Claire's accessories now. What are you going to get from Claire's accessories? I know, that's what I mean. I used to go in a lot with my kids when they were much younger, but even my kids don't. But I don't believe in this thing of like you get to an age

and then there's shops that you can't go in anymore. I just think you have to be much more choosing. You just said no to New Look at 44. But that's not because of the age. It's because it's just a very dated store. Yeah. But that's why they've shut all their stores. Yeah, because no one's shopping in there anymore.

more. But I don't think there's shops that you can't go into. You just got to be very choosy about what you wear from. What's interesting is going shopping with my teenagers. Yeah. And one is nearly 18 and one is 15. So the shops that they go into, like I'm still browsing when they're looking. Yeah. I mean, it's rare that I would, but you can find the odd piece. I mean, urban, let's say, for example, is a big store for them. But I would still buy the odd pair of trousers or the odd top from urban but I wouldn't like get my whole wardrobe from there. See I don't think I could wear stuff from there

because it's all very baggy oversized isn't it? No, no it's not. It's got a huge different array of stuff. It's all it's a lot of it is very distressed. Yeah and bohoy and yeah. I always feel like it looks like 80 people have worn it before you yet it still costs 150 people.

It's basically like shopping in a charity shop but at exorbitant prices. I don't get it. It's like it's also. a little bit like free people. Yes. But I love free people. Yeah. But then like what's one shop we all shop in is Zara.

Yeah. Like we can all get things from Zara. Yeah. But they're in TRF and I'm not. But it has good and bad seasons as well. Sometimes all the pieces are great and sometimes you have a whole season. You're like there's nothing I want to wear here. But the thing is bizarre. It's like you're either your whole wardrobe is from there or nothing. Yes. So this summer I have found nothing in Zara. But you've found good stuff in H&M.

Loads. I actually got some amazing summer evening dresses like if you've got a wedding or a party to me too. I have, I have. Oh, they've got some beautiful dresses in there. Which one? And they're like H&M, I don't know what it's called limited collection. The ones are a little bit, yeah, a little bit more expensive but really nice.

You need to show me. I'll show you. I'll show you. I'll show you. That was really nice. So I would just say, no, been off the new look. That's my answer to that. Do you have anything else to say on that?

I don't like New Look. No, agreed. We can't send help. Our help is stop shopping in New Look. Okay. Please, can we talk about co-words? There's a poker dot set in MNS that I have my eye on for a smart daytime event. But every time I try this idea out, I never end up going for it as I can't decide if it's stylish or basically pajamas.

Right. There's a lot in this. What's with all the poker dots? Everywhere. Everywhere. I don't like a polka dot. It reminds me of that scene at the horse racing in Pretty Woman. Yeah.

Yeah. Pocodots do resurface every few years, don't they? There was that viral dress from Zara, or was it M&S, one of them, that everyone wore and it sold out, and it was like the dress of the summer about three years ago? But the thing is, is that you're going to get it, and then you can't wear it the following season. That's the thing about Pocodots. They're either really in or they're really not. Yeah. Well, they're back. I know, but I don't love Pocodots. I don't think I have many feelings about them, but I'm not mad for them. Are you going to buy anything to poker toy?

I'm not because it just feels like it's going to date so quickly. I don't think I am. My daughter had poker dots on her nails. That's very cute. So cute, but she's 18. And also you can change it after a few weeks. Yeah, it just, it looked great. Yeah.

Like she had a very pink natural base and then black poker dots. It was gorgeous. It was cute. I like that. Yeah. How do you feel about cohorts? I like a cohort. Do you?

I really do, yeah. I bought a cohort, a yellow coad. shorts and t-shirt. It's for the summer. Okay. Obviously. So like just a daytime going out for lunch kind of thing? Not even.

It's more like going down to the beach or if you're going for a walk in the morning. It's very casual, but it's really nice. I saw a couple of co-weds sets actually in H&M. They were little short-sleeved shirts and little short, and they kind of had little cut-out lacy detail. I've seen them, yeah. They are pajamory. They were so pajamory.

Pajamarie stuff is very in. I can't get away with it. I look like I'm in pajamas. Let me tell you something. Yeah. So I went shopping with my daughter. And on one of the mannequins in H&M in Oxford Street, there was a, they were in a very wide leg gene. And then a like a lingerie top, like a long top.

It looked like a very sexy night dress. Yeah. Over the jeans. Yeah. Anyway, I thought, I love this. Yeah. So I tried it on. Yeah.

I thought it looked so fucking cool. Do you remember when we used to wear dresses over jeans? Of course. Do you remember that look? Well, it's very much back. Wow. I know. But it works.

And? I loved it. My daughter was like, what the fuck are you wearing? She didn't say, what the fuck. And I'm like, this works. This is cool. I look really stylish. She's like, no, mom, you cannot.

I'm like, no, I'm buying it anyway. I've got the wide jeans, so I didn't buy the jeans. But I bought the lingerie thingy, thingy, dress. I haven't worn it yet. Actually, where is it? Maybe it's with my number seven gazela. Maybe it is. Maybe she's nicked it.

No, she wouldn't nick it. She hated it. Oh, okay. What colour is it? It like a dusty pink. Nice. Nice. It'll be really nice over jeans.

I love the idea, the whole concept of a cohort set. Because it just feels like it takes all the boxes. It's like a jumpsuit, but it's not a jumpsuit. But whenever I put it on and I've tried a few times, I just look like I've rolled out of bed. I love that idea of like a set. satin shirt and like some wide satiny trousers and some heels. I can't do it. There's loads in Henna's with a print. They're very cool. I can't either. I can't either. I can't even. I can't. No,

me neither. But I tell you what I have got, haven't put it on yet. I have got a little like denim cord set. So they're very, very light jeans, very thin material, quite wide and then quite a wide kind of kimonoe denim shirt. I've got to try them all together. I feel like separately they're fine, but together they might be a bit weird. That's don't. thing with cohorts. That's the thing. I think it's very hit and miss. Hit and miss personal to the person.

Yeah. Yeah. Does any brand actually make a comfortable bra? I mean, that is such a good fucking question. Yes. I am so over bras. Yes, it does. I have found a brand.

I did say this on Self Care Club quite a while ago. Lemonade dolls. They're all non-wired. They are such nice bras. Like the colors are amazing. you can just get plain black, white, whatever. They are so comfortable, they are not too expensive, they are amazing bras. Am I wearing one today?

No, I'm not wearing an Eminet one today, but they are great bras. I can't cope with bras. I can't. I know, you felt like that for a long time. Okay, here's my fashion meltdown. It's either a meltdown or it's a meltdown. By the way, I don't have a fashion meltdown. And you'll have plenty to say about mine.

Don't worry. Just look at the title of it. Because you're already going to have things to say just by looking, at what I've written down there. She's written down jelly shoes. I've bought jelly shoes. Not one pair, but two pairs. Why? Different colours. Yes. One pair. No one needs two pairs of jelly shoes. One pair is chocolate brown. I reckon I can get away with those in London. One pair is neon orange. Oh, nice. I've actually got them in my car. I am so over my burqa stocks. I can't even. I can't even look at them anymore.

I know. They're like almost offensive. How many pairs of the rubber Birkenstocks do you and I both own? So many. So many. So many. I have, I'm not joking, I think, in nine pairs. And they're so comfortable. I've got nine pairs.

That's disgusting. Oh. It's got to tell you that I did the gene thing. Gene thing. When you were away, I counted how many pairs of jeans I had. And is it worse than mine? I can't remember what yours was. 27.

29. Oh! Oh, shocking. I know. Did you get rid of any? Yeah. How many? Not that many.

Like seven pairs. That's what I got rid of seven pairs. Something like that. Like there wasn't, it wasn't loads. It was like, oh, I forgot about you. Oh, I forgot about you. And I'm like, oh, my God, what are you? There were some in there that I hadn't even worn.

I've worn once. Wow. Okay. It's quite an interesting little project, isn't it, for half an hour to try and all your jeans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I actually still wear quite a lot of them. Not obviously 29 of them. No. But I would say at least 10 I would rotate with. I feel the same. That's why I don't want to get rid of them. And now I've got two pairs of dungarees that I haven't still haven't got rid of, but I need to get rid of those. I've got rid of all my dungarees.

But then Daisy said to me, I really fancy a pair of dungarees. I said I've got two pairs. God, I would have given her mind. Yeah, but the shape changes again. Yeah, that's true. I kind of, I'm sad that I got rid of my dungarees, but I knew it had to happen. But I'm still sad about it. I think we're too old for dungaries.

I know, I agree. We are. But I'm sad about it. that. Oh, I'm sad about it all. Okay. Right, so you've got jelly shoes. If we're not wearing our rubber Birkenstocks, I agree with you. I can't look at another pair. There's no more pairs that I can own, and I don't want to wear my Birkenstock Eva's any more this summer. I am over it. Yeah, me too. Okay. But no, you don't want to wear haviana. So what else are you going to wear? Jelly shoes. A jelly

shoe. But are they closed to jelly shoe? Yes. Because I think that's going to make me feel hot. Well, they're made of jelly, so they're not very hot. They're pretty much made of holes. You know? They're like a kind of sort of a ballerinery shape, but not really. I know what you mean. Yeah. I know what you mean. I have to say, I feel like I'm into it.

I don't know what the fuck I'm wearing them with, but I feel like I'm into it. Otherwise, I'm just going to wear my trainers, 12 months round. But you can't. You can't wear those on holiday. I've got so many holidays coming up. Good for you. You can wear. You can wear.

You can wear. All right. What else are you going to wear? Exactly. I don't know. A flip flop. Had I have been more prepared for this show, I might have come up with something.

Show or no show, you're still going to need shoes for holiday. Well, I would have thought about it. Would you wear a flip-flop? Yes. A normal flip-flop for the pool. For the pool, yes. I wouldn't wear a flip-flop like if I was anywhere else, apart from going to the beach or to the pool.

They're not comfortable. I actually do find them comfortable. I think this is, again, a middle-aged conundrum. What does one wear on one's feet in the summer? If you don't want to do a burkingstock and you don't want to do a trainer and you want to still be like relatively stylish.

Yeah. I'm going to show you these. I think you're going to be very reactive to them one way or the other. That either like very cool or like deeply sad. We're twinning without earrings as well. Are we? We've both got small gold hoops in. Yeah.

I put these on this morning and I just felt so fucking mumsy. It's your soul that's feeling messy. I know. That's how it, I know, I know, I know. What's going on. I know. It doesn't matter.

I could dress you in Diorcature and you would still say, I look mumsy in this. I know. I'm struggling. But you know, it's a shame that you don't like Doreet anymore because she would be a really good person to go shopping with and she never looks like. I hate Doreet. I know you do, but she would be an amazing guest to go shopping with. No, she wouldn't because it would all be about her.

She wouldn't. I don't like her style. I think she gets things really wrong. She gets things really right, but also really wrong. Yeah. I'd much rather go shopping with Erica Jane. She'd be much more fun. She would wear a gold lameholt hat.

And she is much more stylish than Dorit. Much, much more and much less try hard. She's quite extra. I love, I love Erica Jane. I've always liked Erica Jane. I've always been in her camp. She's a solid housewife. She is a solid housewife.

I agree. And once she's in your camp, she's in your camp. Yeah. You know, she's a loyal friend. She's a good soul that. one. I like her. She's also grafter. And she is so beautiful. She doesn't age.

It's probably Yes, I know, but whatever it is she does, she does it well. Yes, she looks good. She looks great. They all look good. No, they don't. Daisy came in and I was watching it and she was like, what is wrong with all of their faces? Well, that's interesting, isn't it?

Because, you know, seeing it with fresh eyes. Anyway, we digress. We have a listener out there. Would you like to read? You haven't even heard mine. Oh, you said you hadn't brought one. I hadn't brought one because I wasn't told about this show. Have you now got one? Yes.

Great. Please share. My meltdown is this. Yeah. I came to the show today expecting us to do a normal show. And guess what? My partner has arranged this whole new show with our listeners. You're all in cahoots with one another.

And I didn't know about it. That is my meltdown. Did you not see my socials? Did you not watch my videos? My socials. My videos. Yeah. My Instagram.

Did you not see them? It's like when Adam says, Adam comes to the dinner table with one Diet Coke. It's that. My videos, my social. I would bring you a Diet Coke. No, no. But what I'm saying is it's like, we're a partnership.

Where have you been? For those few days. Where have you been? What do you mean? This was all out there. This was all out there. You know where I've been. Do you want to know where I've been?

Tell me. I have played so much panel. Right. I mean, I'm like dreaming about balls in my sleep. That's also on my algorithm. So thank you for that. Every morning, top paddle tips.

I'm like, no, no, thanks. I don't see those. Scroll, scroll. Oh, that's... You don't see them. No, because you're scrolling past them. I need the top paddle tips. They're not coming.

They're definitely your fault. Do you see my Marjeon reels? No, you don't. Yes, I did see one. Did you? Did you? But I'm not as offended by your Marjong reels as you are about my paddle reels. The paddle wheels are endless.

Do you know what I was thinking? Of course they are. You know what I was thinking that I could do for my 50th? What? Have a paddle party. What am I going to do? You're going to drink at the bar. Okay.

Maybe I'll just come at the end. No. For the drink bit. No. I won't play paddle with you, but... Oh, wow. What a fun party. No, thanks.

I'm busy that day. I know it's next February, but already I'm busy. I thought, what do I like to do? Because Adam is driving me mad about my 50th year. We've got to organise. I mean, that's a lot of forward planning there on his behalf. Not really. It's a long way away.

Not really. Not if you want to go away or you want to do a trip or something. You do have to start thinking about it. Anyway, that was one thought. Okay. My paddle friends were quite up for the idea. You have that party with... I feel like I have that party every day.

Have that party with Ilana. This meltdown is from V. V says, Hi ladies, after listening to you since the start of self-care club laughing out loud regularly and nodding along like a special kind of crazy, I finally have a rant. I have scrolled video after video of those perky women in the newfangled jelly bras, not a wire or back bulge in sight.

Yes. Just the promise of lift and separation. It sounds amazing. Honestly, I am not a member of the Itty Bitty Saggy Titty. club. I am more in the Spaniel Ear snooker ball in a football sock gang where the girls don't get bigger. After feeding three beautiful children, they just seem to get longer. Yes, long boobs is a thing. After investing in so many different brands of these apparently wonderful new contraptions, I've been left disappointed, not a lot of lift, certainly no separation and a much lower bank

balance thanks to my algorithm. So now I've given up and gone back to the scaffolding that has held me up all these years. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for always being so honest, V. V, I have also been done by these rubbishy advert. I've seen them. I bought them for my girls. They look amazing. They're not. Okay. They're not. Okay. I mean, my girls took one look at them and they were like,

what is that? And I'm like, it's a bra, it's supposed to look fantastic under a T-shirt. They won't even try them on. Why? Because they are disgusting. They are disgusting. They're about as big as that your handbag. Oh. They're enormous. Right. I put them on. They were much too big for me.

My girls have got much bigger boobs, but... No? They don't do anything. Nothing. Because when I see those women in the ad... And they're jumping up and down. Also, the one I love is when they put on a t-shirt with no bra and then they draw a line with felt tip where their boobs are.

Oh, that's clever. And then they put the bra on and then the line is here and the boobs are up here. And you're like, oh. But you can say that about any bra. That's what a bra's function is. Yes. It is. It has one.

One function. Over the shoulder boulder holder. Yeah. That's the point. Beaches, you know that's coming to the theatre. No. They need to supply free tissues with every ticket. I don't know if I can cope with beaches.

I don't know. In the theatre. I don't think so. It's more of a private situation here. You know what I mean? You can just quietly... Daisy literally needed therapy after I watch beaches. And when we watched it, she's like, is it sad?

I'm like, well, and then there was a bit... Nothing had actually happened, but I had started. started crying before it happened. She's like, why are you crying? Why are you crying? And then it was like five and say, oh my God. Whenever Dr. Osir and I had a baby historically, and we saw each other throughout the whole pregnancies,

as soon as we saw each other, we would say to one another, Hillary, you've got so fat. We would always say it. Yeah. What a film. What a film. I love that film. It's really, it's coming to the theatre.

Who's going to play them both? I don't know. Daisy will know. Daisy will know everything. Are they going to do the song? Is it going to be a musical or a straight play? I would imagine it's a musical. Oh, I don't think I can cope.

I know. We could go together in dark glasses. But the show that she does, the over-the-shoulder holder, that would be amazing. Imagine that scene. That would be amazing. Yeah. We'll see you next week, everybody.

Bye.