40ish - My Husband Has Money Secrets & Why I'm Done With "Sexy"

Episode Date: July 16, 2026

HRT and breast cancer fears — the real talk women are having about how hormone replacement therapy has genuinely changed their lives. Plus: a listener's husband won't explain a mysterious £600 missing from their joint account ("I can't say who it's for"), and Clare has an epiphany about being completely done wanting "sexy" on holiday — she just wants a spa, room service, and nobody touching her or asking where anything is. This week on 40ish, Lauren and Nicole talk perimenopause, menopause, midlife marriage secrets, financial infidelity, and why "sexy hotel" era is officially over for some of us. Also: 70 metres of medieval embroidery nearly ends a friendship (Lauren does NOT care about the Bayeux Tapestry, Nicole is obsessed). Tell us your most 40ish moment — you know you've got one. [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You never tell me that I look nice. And now that I've said it out loud, I can see where you went with that. Okay. You know, you never think about that. And I think it's the same with your pelvic floor. Like when it works and functions and you don't wee your pants and everything's fine, everything's fine. But when it's not fine, it's just not fine. I'm not wearing my pants just for clarity.

Thank you. Thank you for Clarify. Hi, ladies. It's from Claire, Fair Edge. Hi, ladies, my rant is as follows. I'm 49 and I am done with sexy. That's all I need to know. Hello, everybody.

Welcome to Fortage. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcon. This is the podcast tackling 40-something life. Every week, diving into midlife, the news. Your stories, your dilemmas, your meltdowns, our own meltdowns, what Nicole's managing to wear today, what she's not wearing today, how much salmon she's portioning up, if I'm being a diva, everything.

It all goes down in this podcast from the mundane to the ridiculous. We figure out how to survive midlife together. One rant and crisis and meltdown at a time. And don't forget you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts for $4.99 a month. There you get ad-free listening and early access to this show and self-care club. So please come along and join us there. And you can watch the video on Spotify every week. We are back on Spotify.

If you want to see our faces just because our voices are not enough, then please come and join us there. Or you can listen on any other podcast platform and please make sure that you are following the show and that you are subscribed wherever you are listening so the episodes just drop into the podcast platform of your choice. I'm going to tell you my most foolish moment of the week. I feel like you're going to agree with me,

but you might not agree with me. It's about the Beio Tapestry. Random. Okay, but I mean, you know the Beio Tapestry. I do. 1066, Harold, the arrow through the eye, blah, blah. You know that it has been transferred for the very first time ever to London, and it is now on display.

Oh, yes, I did know that. And it's the longest glass cabinet display, I believe, in history. Right. So the making of the glass cabinet, because it obviously has to be very sturdy, very safe, but it also has to have no glare on it so you can see the tapestry through it. This is like actually more complicated than the tapestry itself, because it's such a big deal, I just don't care.

I don't care. And I feel like I should care, but I don't care. And the other morning, well, he said to me, oh, the Beio Tapestry exhibition is opening soon. I was like, I don't care. I know I should.

I know I should be invested in this. I know I should be like clamouring on the internet to buy my tickets to see the Beio Tapestry. I don't want to see the Beio Tapestry. I actually do. Do you? Yeah, I think I do. You see, I am surprised.

I did not think you would want to see the Beautapestry. But if you had to like, if you had asked me, do you think Lauren wants to see it? You would be like, yeah, Lauren is invested in the Beotapestry. I am not. I'm not invested. But this is where we're always surprising each other. And I think that's a good thing. Yeah, it keeps our marriage fresh.

Stop calling it a marriage. Why did you keep calling it a marriage? You said yesterday that it was like, we're in a toxic marriage because I told you that you know, You never tell me that I look nice. And now that I've said it out loud, I can see where you went with that. Okay. But you don't ever tell me that I look nice. No, I know.

I don't tell anyone. Why? I don't know. But do you ever like sit there and think, I walk in, you think, oh, she looks nice. Yeah, I do think all the things, but I just don't say the things. Why? I don't know. Because I have a very loud internal monologue.

It's not that loud. No, it's loud internally. But why don't you just say? Because it's nice to give a compliment. Yeah, I know. It is nice. I think I think things not necessarily. about you but I often think things that are very nice and very horrible and I say neither of those

things which is probably better for the latter but not for the former oh do you do I ever walk here and you think fucking hell what is she wearing? I never think what the fuck is she wearing anything weird and to be honest if I was if you did think that you would say that you would you would say what's this I think the face would show it before the word said anything sometimes I walk in you go oh yeah that's a compliment No, it isn't. No, it isn't. It is in my head.

I don't know. I need to sort that out. It's not a good thing. You do. Yeah, I know. Even when we did our live show. Yeah. You didn't tell me I look nice.

You were like, do I look nice? Do I look nice? I was like, yeah. You were like, then it wouldn't hurt you to fucking say it. I know. But I said to you, you look great. You are thanks. Yeah.

I know. It's weird. Yeah, it's bad. It's bad. I'm not down with it. I don't rock with that. a personality floor, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. There's not many things that I'm not down with with you, but that is one of them. Yeah, I know, I know. You're not the only one. Like, let's say I do something at work. Yeah. That is nice. Yeah. That is good. Yeah. You would never say, I really love that. Well done. Like, if I do a funny piece of editing. Yeah. It's very... No, no, that's

not true. I did tell you. I have told you recently. Oh my God, you put that thing in and I noticed and then you put that little song in. Once. You've told me... Oh, I was... Oh, I've told you more than once. Twice at a push. And I've edited over 700 shows. 700 shows.

What I'm hearing is you'd like some more validation from me. That's what I'm hearing. I like verbal validation. Do you? I do. I do. Okay. Maybe it's not important to me and that's why I don't give it, take it or care about it.

Yes. It's a love language thing. Yeah. I just don't care. I don't need to hear it and I'm not interested in it. I remember one of my closest friends the first time she met you, her first words to me was, she's very confident. I think I'm just not that interested in other people's opinions.

Well, that's a, that's very self-assured. I just feel like, if you like me great, if you don't like me, fine. I can't really change that. But I don't really care if you think I look nice or horrible or what you think of me. I'm not really that interested in what you think of me. I'm really just fine to go through the way. world feeling how I feel about it. I'm actually not interested in what everybody thinks of me. I'm really not. Yeah. I really don't give a fuck. Yeah. But people in my inner circle,

and there's only a few, you are the one of them, you know, like Adam, you know, like my inner people, I care what they think. Okay. And I value their opinion. I think it's very good we've had this conversation. How healthy. How healthy in us? Are you coming to see the bare tapestry because I am not. My most forage thing is like proper footage. That wasn't very fordish. That was just a beautiful. You know, I think, well, the Beaudetistry, I feel is quite 40-ish. You could do a whole substack on that.

On the Beauda tapestry? Yeah, you should. I actually might. You should. I don't care. It's going to be called I don't care about the Beauda tapestry. Yeah, I think you should. I think that's a great article.

I'm going to write that. Okay. I'm going to read it. Okay. And you know what? I might even tell you well done. I'll be like, I don't care if you liked it or not. Yes, you do.

Actually, with your articles on Substack, you do care. I do care. You do can. You're like, can you read it? Can you read it? I'm like, have you watched my video editing? No. Well, it's the same thing. Also, come follow us on Substack. It's called the Midlife Club. It's free.

So just come, you can come and read the essays and join in and send this messages and stuff. It is fantastic. I haven't done one thing on there. It's all Lauren. Yeah, I know. I will get onto the Subtext place. But I'm very busy in Adobe world. I know.

I know you are. Right. Anyway, what's your 40-ish moment? I feel like you've saved this from last week Even the week before No, it happened this morning Oh, okay Happened this very morning

Yeah I spent this morning I didn't go to the gym this morning Because I was quite tired And I thought no, I'm just gonna have a chill morning I actually spent 10 minutes Doing my pelvic floor Good

We got gifted the Perry Fit Yes we did About a year ago to no longer. Looks like a dildo, isn't a dildo. That's a tiny dildo. That wouldn't do very much. It wouldn't be of much fun. And it's basically a little machine.

It looks like a mini dildo. Yes. That you put it up your vaj. Yeah. And you play games like Mario Kart games. With your vaj. With your vaj. With your pelvic floor.

It was quite fun. Anyway, I've been going to my woman's physio. She is so lovely, by the way. I actually think she listens, but she hasn't told me, but I think she listens because I say things and then she's like nodding. Okay. Yeah. It's slightly awkward but also not.

Listen, me and Jenny know each other quite well now. Well, she knows you a lot better than you know her. Yeah. I don't need to know Jenny in that way. No. And I'm sure she's fine with me not knowing her in that. No, she's absolutely divine. If I ever have to go to a woman's physio,

I never thought I didn't know, I didn't even know what women's physios do. I mean, I did because I come from the world of birth. Do you want to tell people that don't know? Well, they're basically, I don't want to say because I'm not going through it. They're basically what? They're basically helping women with their pelvic floor because lots of women after childbirth or after menopause or when they are going through the transitions of perimenopause

have problems with their pelvic floor muscles. So they're basically doing very direct work on the pelvic floor, internal work. Yeah. To help you strengthen it all up. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautifully done. Okay.

Beautifully, diplomatically done. Like a pro, that was. And she is just divine. She's so professional and so helpful. And I'm finding it really useful. And anyway, I got out the peri fit. Yeah. And I played my pelvic floor games this morning.

And my pelvic floor is shit. Okay. It is shit. But the more you play the games, the better it will get. I know. And I'm seeing her in like three weeks. And I really want to go back. and her say, oh my God, this has improved so much.

You can take it on holiday with you? Yes. Yes. Yes. She tests my pelvic floor. Okay. And so my endurance isn't very good. Yeah.

And it's like, she goes, you're not going to like this, but your endurance isn't very good. And I'm like, you know what, Jenny, my endurance isn't very good generally. It isn't in sport and stuff like that. Now, I don't do endurance training. I've never liked endurance training. But that bit, because I remember when we did the self-care club show on the Perry Fit, there was a game where you have to, well, all the games, but you have to jump up. and then like go through the rings at the top.

And that's when you have to really like hold it for really long time. So she said, so I've seen her a few times and she basically said this time that I went to her, you're not contracting enough. Yeah. And it's hard to know how much is enough. She goes, get a peri fit. And I said, oh, I've got one. So she said, please use it because it really tracks when you're holding it correctly.

Yes, it does. And then it makes you hold it. Yes. So it's really hard. And also your pelvic floor. it fatigues, mind fatigues really quickly. But it is like any other muscle. I do not need to tell you this.

Yes. And we use it. Yes. So like I'm on it. Yeah. It's very, very, very important. If you're listening to this and you are young, do your pelvic floor exercises. Keep it strong.

I actually can't even begin to tell you how much you need to do that. Yeah, yeah. I really can't. Yeah. Because you never think that it's going to be an issue. But when it is an issue, it's like it's a really unpleasant issue. I really believe that. Yeah, it must be.

Okay. No, but like, you need it. At the live show, I got people to put their hands up who are invested in their pelvic floor. They were. They were. There was a lot more women invested than I thought there would be. Yeah. Because this is all new territory to me.

You know, it's a bit like when you've got a cold, like a really thick, awful, disgusting cold, and you just can't think past remembering before you used to have a cold. But when you don't have a cold, you've never. think about having a cold. You never think about how it is to have a cold and be bummed up and miserable and constantly blowing your nose and your nose is soften the tissues. You know, you never think about that. And I think it's the same with your pelvic floor. Like when it works and functions and you don't we your pants and everything's fine, and everything's fine. But when it's not fine, it's just not fine. I'm not weeing my pants

just for clarity. Thank you. Thank you for Clarice. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ads sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. The Hulu original series Furious is coming to Disney Plus, starring Emmy Rossum, Furious follows FBI agent Alice Black on the hunt for a mysterious and calculating serial killer.

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Subaru dealer or visit Subaru.ca. I've had feedback on the breast cancer slash HRT misinformation thing on TikTok. Okay, but I feel like when did we last talk about that or do we just talk about it all the time? I think we talk about it quite a lot but we were talking about it on a show quite a few weeks ago when people was

when I think I said on the show that I was online and I had never seen in a week more people saying, oh I can't take HRT because my aunt's mother's sister's wife's cousin's dog sitter had breast cancer and I said to you like Everyone was saying the same thing in a week. And actually, Dame Leslie Regan, who came on Self Care Club,

had completely debunked this. And she herself has had breast cancer twice and she's still on HRT and how we were talking about it at the Every Woman Festival, how every woman can take HRT, apart from women with terminal liver cancer. And she said, even in those cases, some women would rather take it because the side effects of not taking it worse. Anyway, two women replied, and they said,

one of them said, I was suicidal without HRT. I have recently undergone biopsies for suspected breast cancer. I discussed with my consultant that even if it is cancer, I still need the HRT. Without it, I will not survive. It is that simple. Yeah. And then someone replied. I am with her.

Someone replied to her to say, I absolutely agree. I was suicidal before I went on it. I heard the scaremongering about breast cancer, but I thought, if I don't take it, I won't be alive anyway. Wow. Or it's just a life, not work. living. Like I wouldn't get out of bed without it. Look at how I was last week versus this week. Yeah. Don't you think there's a massive difference? Yeah. There is. I mean, I just couldn't bear

anything. And that wasn't even when my Eastern had run out. It was running out. Yeah. And I knew it hadn't run out because I wasn't getting the low mood yet. When the low mood sets in and I just start retreating to my bed, that is like, and I just don't see the point in anything. I don't. It is just the worst. Hi ladies, please help. I'm 44. I've been with my husband for 15 years and we've always had a pretty straightforward relationship.

We don't account for every pound we each spend, but we've always been honest with each other. A few weeks ago, I noticed £600 had gone out of our joint account. When I asked what it was for, he said he'd lent it to someone. I asked who? He said, I'd rather not say. Oh, it's a lot of money, £600 to not say. At first I thought he was joking.

he wasn't he insists there's nothing sinister about it he says someone was in a difficult position they asked him for help and he didn't want to portray their confidence by telling me who they were he also says he'll get the money back so it's not as though he's given it away but i can't get past the fact that he won't tell me who this mystery person is my mind has been filling in the blanks ever since is it a friend who's embarrassed a relative someone from work an ex a woman someone who's already borrowed money from other people i don't actually have any evidence to suspect anything but the less he says the more my imagination does the talking. The thing is that I don't even think I'd have objected

if he'd come to me first and said, so and so need £600, what do you think? We'd probably have agreed to help. Instead, I'm stuck wondering why the identity of this person is apparently more important to protect than my peace of mind. He says I should trust him. I say trust is exactly why I don't understand the secrecy. Now we're going round arguing in circles.

He thinks I'm making a mountain out of a molehill but I think refusing to answer a simple question about where £600 has gone is what turned a molehill into a mountain. Do you think him not telling me who it is and what it's for is okay or not? My gut feeling, based on nothing, because I don't know these people, is that if it was something truly bad slash suspicious slash he really shouldn't be doing it, I don't think he would have taken it out of their joint account. he would have found another way to get the money to this person.

Or he would have taken it out in drips of 50 pounds. Do you know what I mean? It's like it's gone. He probably knew that she'd notice. So my gut feeling is it's just something private that this person has asked him not to share. Why? And he's kind of being loyal to that person. But that's fine if he's taking it out of his own account with his own £600.

But he's asking her to go along with something. something that it's also her 600 pounds. Yeah. So she has a right to know who it is and what it's for and she has a right to make that decision whether she's okay with it too. If he wants to lend them 600 pounds, that's within his, that's absolutely fine, but it has to be of his money. Or maybe they don't have. They might not have separate accounts. Right. So Adam and I have separate accounts and a joint account. So we, you know, so it's a bit of both. So if that was the case, I would have said to Adam, if you don't want me to know, because it's so secretive, then take it out of your

stuff. But that's what I'm saying. I think if it was something, if there was malintent, I don't think he would have done that. I don't think there's malintent from his side and I'm sure it is exactly as he says it is. And if that was coming from Adam, I would trust that that is what it is. He wouldn't give me any reason to not believe that.

But also at the same time is, you're asking me to trust you, but then you should be able to trust me with it too. That's what she's saying. It's not actually for her about the money. It's about the fact that she feels hurt that he doesn't trust her enough to share this, whatever this is. But then, you know, then you're onto the conversation of do husbands and wives have to share everything? Is it okay to have secrets from each other? And, you know, where's the line with that?

Is there a line with that? Well, my answer to that is yes. And Adam and I have had this conversation many, many times. So if a friend confides something in me, I don't tell Adam. I don't tell anybody. I really don't. If they confide in me, they confide in me.

I think that's right. Right. Yeah. And it's not Adam's business and it's nobody else's business. And if it then comes out at a later date, he would then say, well, why didn't you tell me? But it because there's nothing to do with you. But in this case, it is something to do with her because it's her money.

It's not separate. Yeah. Or if he could even just be a little, more specific. If he could just say, listen, it's a relative, they're really embarrassed because they've got themselves into whatever scrape it is and they need this money urgently. They really, really don't want me to say because they're worried that you'll feel differently about them, but that's all it is. Just something very broad that doesn't identify them, but just puts her mind at rest a little bit. Because when you don't know, you do fill in the blanks and that's

exactly what she's doing. She's like, is it another woman? Is it a this? Is it? It probably Well, I think if it was another woman, it wouldn't be coming out of that account. That's what I'm saying. He'd be more sly about it. I don't, as she said, they've been together 15 years. They've got a very straightforward relationship. And I think I really understand why she's put out by it. And I also really understand why he's not telling her. Yeah.

But I think there is a space for both of them to find the happy place where they both feel comfortable, where he's not betraying trust. And she doesn't feel like, well, hold on, you've just taken £600 of my money and I have a right to know where that's gone. Yeah. Which she does. Yeah. Or at least he could say...

It's not 50 quid. No. It's 600 pounds. At least he could say, listen, it will be back in the account by the end of next month. And then also she'll see when it goes back in the account. But I think she's still going to be left with the feeling of are there things he does that he doesn't tell me about? Listen, there are definitely not things I do that don't tell Adam, but there are definitely things that people confide in me that Adam would have absolutely no idea about. And because it's got nothing to do with him.

and maybe it's the same in reverse. But that's because it's not, it's their private business that they're sharing with you. They're not sharing it with both of you. But it's nothing to do with, that's what I'm saying. There's nothing to do with your marriage. It doesn't affect him in any way. But when £600 is coming out of the account,

if I was in that position, I would feel very uncomfortable not telling Adam. Yeah. Not because I want Adam or if they, but also I would think I would say to the person who's asking for the money, listen he's going to see it you can't put me in a position where he doesn't know it's his money too and i just have to run this by them that's just how we work or he could have had a conversation beforehand that was like listen i need to lend somebody 600 pounds because they're in trouble

i i i've promised them i can't say who i really hope you're okay with it please don't ask me to betray their trust it'll be back in the account by the end of next month if you notice it's gone that's why it's gone and I'm just telling you before I do it. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I mean. There has to be a little bit of give. A happy medium between the two. Yeah.

But I don't think she should go. I understand why she feels like that, but I don't think she should go to a bad place in her head with it. I agree. I agree. Well, I think that our meltdowns were that we were going to discuss the most ridiculous things that we've Googled and chat GPTed recently, right? But I don't think I can join in this conversation

because I don't really use chat GPT apart from when I had to ask chat GPT how to cancel chat GPT. We've already done that. Yeah, exactly. So, I don't know. Do you have a meltdown? Not really.

No. Do you? Yeah. Oh. I do have a meltdown. Okay. But you're not allowed to judge. Okay.

We listen and we don't judge. No, I mean it. Okay. Also, sit in silence. Also, what I don't want... Wait for you. What I also don't want is for you then to tell me

how this never happens in your house. There's a lot of preamble here. I'm just telling you. I'm not going to look at you. I'm going to look away and not sleep. Because I'm actually not interested in hearing how this doesn't happen to you. Pretend I'm not here.

No, no. I need you to be here. I just need you to not judge it, not tell me how this doesn't happen to you and for you to say, well, just put your foot down. I don't need any of that. Okay? I'll try really hard.

Are you ready? It's not a big thing. You'll be like, oh, is that it? I think we need a drum roll. My children's bedrooms are disgusting. The mess and the washing and the shit that is on the floor, it actually upsets me so much, right? I have done everything. I have like, because I don't go into either bedroom now. I can't. It gives me so much anxiety.

We've even got to the point without. youngest where she's not allowed to go out until she tidies her room. But then literally the minute she goes back in her room, it is like, like something has exploded and everything has just settled again and she's just left it there. That is what it looks like constantly. And then I go in and I say to her, your room, how can you sit in this room? And she's like, what, it's tidy. So I also acknowledge that in her world, it's fine. She doesn't see it. Hmm. My other daughter is on the top floor of the house,

so I actually just don't go up there. I don't have to bypass it in any capacity. Nice. Yeah. But I went up there that yesterday, I can't remember why, because I was stupid. And I went up there, and I went to get her washing. Error, which I never do, but we're going on holiday,

and she's been away this weekend, and I didn't want her to come back and be stressed. There was so much stuff on the floor, I actually didn't know what was clean and what was dirty, because even in the clean washing bin, that she had taken upstairs, it was like had been sprawled out across the floor. And I just thought, no.

No. I think this is a girl thing. And I say that because I am a girl. And I do remember. And it doesn't happen in my house. I do remember being Daisy's age and my mother coming into my bedroom. Because I used to come home, take off an outfit,

leave it on the floor, find another outfit. Usually it was on the floor. I was a real messy slut. I know that is almost impossible to it. imagine now but I was and I remember being Daisy's age and my mum coming into my bedroom and saying if you don't clear this up I'll be putting it in a black bin liner

and leaving it out for the dustbin men ha ha ha I went out to the pub to a club to a whatever the hell I was doing came home learn behold my entire wardrobe was in black bin liners outside the front door waiting for the dustbin men the next day my mother did what did you do I took it back in and I

hung it all up so I remember coming home from a night out at like three in the morning. I must have been, well, it was just before I moved out. So I must have been about 18, 19, when I was going out, clubbing and stuff. Really tired.

It was really late. My dad had emptied every single drawer and cupboard in my entire bedroom and put it on the bed. Wow. Yeah. So I walked in, I'll never forget. Walking in at 3 o'clock in the morning and seeing every item I own on the bed.

Yeah. it was so brilliantly passive aggressive. Yeah, truly. Yeah. Yeah. I had no choice but to clear it up. Yeah. Yeah.

I've done that to my daughter before. Yeah. I have done it because I thought, well, it worked for me. I'm going to do that. Yeah. And I did it. Yeah. I emptied literally.

I was just so rageful, probably in a menopausal moment. I emptied her entire cupboards and I stuck it on her bed. Yeah. And you know what she did? What? She just pushed it on the floor and got into bed. Yeah. Yeah.

And then it sat on the floor. It sat on the floor It was nearly three weeks Fucking how And it was like Then it was a test of wills Yeah Who's going to break first

And she was like I, mum I don't care So either you clear it up Because you made the mess But I'm not doing it And also because I did make the mess Yeah yeah you did

So I can't argue with it I respect my mom following through on that though I respect her making the threat And then the follow through Because you're tucking away all her clothes Literally throwing away all my clothes clothes. Yeah. The thing is, I have a variety of tidiness. My eldest, messy slut. But he's not, he's not, he's not as messy as my kids. I don't know. I don't live in their bedrooms and you don't live in Maxes. I would like to see Maxes and I bet it's like pretty perfect.

There's like a few bits of clothing on the floor and like, and the old mug. Okay. And then maybe like a crisp packet. But what I've noticed is on a Thursday night, because he knows his girlfriend's coming over to stay for the weekend, it all gets to. tied it. And if I go in there on a Thursday or Friday, it's beautiful. His room's beautiful. So now I just zip it because I know once a week it's going to be beautiful. I remember when I went over to Adam's flat for the first time for the sleepover.

And I remember walking into his bedroom and the bed was made. Yeah. And I thought, okay, he's made the bed. Yeah. This is good. Yeah. And I was 27 at the time, so I was young. Yeah. That was the last time he made the bed. Amazing. Amazing. My child number two is a freakishly tidy child.

No, no, no. But I'm saying I do get it. I have a mix. The third one still does the thing where he takes his trousers and pants off as one and leaves them on the floor for me to separate. I remember he used to, when he was still coming into your bedroom at night, in the middle of the night, he used to make the bed. He doesn't do that anymore. Okay.

Okay, he doesn't do that anymore. He used to when he was like six, he would make his bed at four in the morning and then toddle up to my bed. No longer. These are the anecdotal stories that I don't need. No, no longer. And then I said to him once, you know what? Could you maybe, when you take off your trousers and pants, separate them, put the pants in the wash and the trousers and the... No, mum, why would I do that?

It's so much more efficient to take them both off at the same time. Like, yeah, because you've got some mug. My kids aren't doing anything to be efficient, okay? No, no efficiency. No, no, it's efficient for him. It's efficient for me. She's coming home today from a weekend away, okay? She's going to go up to her room.

She's going to need to pack a suitcase because she's going into railing. in this place and that place and doing all the things, right? And she's going to have a whole stress because everything is everywhere. And that stress is then going to come onto me because she'll be like, Mom, I need some help. And I don't want to go up there. No, I don't want to help. I don't want to go up there. Should I just say no?

Just say no. You're 18. Yeah. Pack. Yeah. Bring your suitcase down. If it's too heavy, daddy will bring it down. Yeah.

But no. Yeah. You pack. And if you don't have any clean washing, then that's on you. Yeah. You on. not the only one living in mess. We have a listener meltdown.

Here it is. Hi ladies. It's from Claire. Claire H. Hi ladies. My rant is as follows. I am 49 and I am done with sexy. That is all I need to know.

She does follow on. Why is it assumed that every woman is still desperate for a dirty weekend away? My husband keeps dropping hints about taking me away just the two of us. He says it'll be romantic. I know exactly what he means by romantic and I am tired just thinking about it. It is not that I don't love him, I do. It's just that if someone offered me a weekend in a nice hotel with zero expectation of sex, I would be packing fast.

What I want is a lion on a good mattress, a nice meal or two that I have not cooked, a spa, a book and to wake up without someone nudging me hopefully because we're away. Basically, I just want to be left the fuck alone and not have to have to. do anything or cater to anyone. I think that men, imagine women are lying around waiting to be swept off to a boutique hotel where everything ends in passionate sex. Am I the only

woman who would rather have room service than foreplay? No. You are not the only woman. Claire, you know perfectly well you're not the only woman. Come on. Speak your friends about that. Come on now, Claire. You know. I thought she meant, I thought she was going to go with sexy as a general

I think she rule as in like dressing sexy feeling sexy having to be sexy like all that shit I think that is also implied it's attached to it yeah like I can't be bothered to like yeah there are no stockings and suspenders

happening anymore I don't even mean stocking and suspenders I just mean like like men don't get dressed thinking I have to be sexy maybe Timothy Shalamee does do you reckon John Ham does I reckon he gets, I am in the midst of friends and neighbours, right?

And he's just worn the white suit on the boat. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. The white suit on the boat. I don't really like a man in a white suit. All I do. Very man from Del Monte. Oh, come on. The white suit on the boat.

Stop it now. All I thought was, all I thought was, oh, all I thought was. Well, we all know what all I thought was. You thought you, I am ready for sex. And then he has sex with someone on the boat. He does, yeah. I cannot. I cannot with this man.

I just thought, he must be in his dressing room before he goes on set to go on the boat. And he must look at himself in the mirror and he must think, damn, I look fucking good. But that in itself is very unattractive. Do you know what I mean? He looked. He was like Bond. He was like a middle-aged bond. But do you like a man in a white suit?

I like John Hamm in a white suit on a fucking boat. But John Hamm can wear whatever he likes. No, he can't though. He can't. He actually looks sexier and certain things. I can't even tell you what that white suit did to me. On that boat, having sex with that woman, I can't. I hope Adam's taking notes.

I can not. He does look better dressed up than dressed down. I agree. I agree. Well, now that he's gone back into like the finance world And he's suited and booted him I can't cope with him But I'm also into him in tracksuit bottoms

I can't cope with him at all I know He's a problem for you It's a good thing he lives far Far away and he's married to a woman who's 35 The wise suit on the boat I just I've never seen anything like it And alright with the woman 35

Okay He's married Happily Well I don't know happily But he's married Because, I bet she's done with sexy. No. Do you think she'd rather have full plate or room service?

Listen. She's probably getting both. But she's also probably getting nudged in the back hoping that he's going to have sex. It's the same thing. It's John Hamm nudging you in the back. Yeah, but it's not John Hamm in Friends and Neighbors on the boat in the white suit, is it? It's John Hamm, he's just done a poo.

He's probably just busy on his emails. He hasn't brushed his teeth yet that morning. You're making much notice of her, you know. All right. Bye, everybody. Nicole needs a long, cool drink of something. He is so good in that white suit. Okay.

Have a lovely week, everyone. Bye, everyone. Hey, y'all. It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair.

With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home.