40ish - Period necklaces, Parking & Homebase
Episode Date: May 8, 2025This week on 40ish a woman asks if it’s sweet or if it’s weird to give her daughter a necklace to celebrate her first period. Lauren is hoping the idea may inspire Nicole’s husband to buy her a ...very special wedding anniversary gift. Plus, a listener asks what happened to her rock n’roll husband who used to play the guitar but now the only bass he is interested in is Homebase. We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email hello@40ish.co.uk Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi there, I'm Ryan Reynolds and I have a list of things I like to have on set.
It's just little things like two freshly cracked eggs scrambled with crispy hash browns, sausage,
crumble and creamy chipotle sauce from Tim Hortons. From my rider to Tim's menu, try menu
scrambled eggs loaded breakfast box. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your
chance at the number one feeling, winning, which meets even the 27th best feeling saying I do.
Who wants his last parachute?
I do.
Enjoy the number one feeling.
Winning in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated.
19 plus and physically located in Ontario.
Gambling problem?
Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca.
Please play responsibly.
From commutes that become learning sessions
to dishwashing filled with laughs,
podcasts can help you make the most out of your everyday.
And when it comes to everyday spending,
you can count on the PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard
to help you earn the most PC Optimum Points
everywhere you shop.
The PC Insider's World Elite MasterCard,
the card for living unlimited.
Conditions apply to all benefits.
Visit pcfinancial.ca for details.
I'll tell you what I do think is weird.
The women who make necklaces out of their breast milk.
Have you heard about those?
You don't know those people.
I fucking do.
There's a doula for 16 years.
I know.
If you make a necklace out of breast milk.
Yup, they put it in resin.
He is now 48 and has developed an intense interest in our driveway.
You can make like a little special necklace or ring with a semen. That's special isn't
it? Would you like one of those? No one does that. No one does that. Would you like one
of those? No one... Oh yes please, it's my anniversary today. I'm hoping that's what
I get as my gift. Oh my god. I wish Adam got you a necklace or semen. Hello everyone, welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Good Goodman and I'm Lauren Mishcon. This is the
podcast that navigates the challenges and absurdities of 40 something life. And every
episode we discuss your problems, issues and rants that you have kindly shared with us.
And we share right back with you about what's going on in our own middle age lives. We do. So come on.
I mean, there's a lot going on with Lauren. I mean, I wish that we had, I wish we'd been recording
the conversation just before we came on air. I'm glad we weren't recording. There's a lot,
isn't there? Yeah, there's a lot going on. I mean, I was going to give you my most 40th moment
lot going on. I mean, I was going to give you my most 40th moment on Friday when I realized that I'd reached kind of peak middle age. I mean, kind of Pels in comparison with everything
that's happened since. But I did have that moment on Friday when I was the end of the
afternoon and I was feeling really content. I thought, why am I feeling so kind of content
and happy? And I realized I had spent my day with three delightful things,
pilates, cooking and gardening. And I thought I'm so happy and content. And yet this is so peak 40
something. Isn't it? I'm so proud that there was a piece of exercise in there. Thanks. That's great.
Thank you. And surprising. And you. Newish. Newish. No, but new that it's
bringing you such contentment that it's now part of your joy. So much so that I've even bought,
wait for it, Pilates grippy socks. Wow. Yep. I've invested. Did you go to Lululemon? No, I went to amazon.co.uk. Good because if
you'd have gone to amazon.com it would have been a problem. It would. Got three pairs,
baby pink, gray and black. They're set. Yes. Yeah. They've got little elastic across the
front there. Ever so nice. Yeah. They are. I was really proud of myself. I felt like a real like, yeah, I'm someone who does pilates now because I have
pilates socks. Yeah. You, but you are someone who does pilates. Yeah. Yeah. That could be
your 40 ish thing. I've never been so kind of proud. You do pilates. I, I am a woman
who does pilates and makes apple tarts and gardens. Yeah. I am for she something hear
me roar. Thank you for bringing the apple tart up. Oh, I'm so pleased you brought that
up. Okay. Because I said to Lauren, we were texting each other and you, you, you sent
me a message early one morning last week. Friday morning.
Oh, it was Friday morning.
Yeah.
On the same morning that you were feeling so contained,
you sent me a morning saying, this is my morning workout.
Now you would think listeners
that due to what we've been discussing,
she would have been sending me a photo
of her doing Pilates, but no.
No.
She actually sent me a photo of her apple tart.
Yeah.
It looked very gorgeous. It was really nice. I was
making that at 7.15. It's also not a workout but I very much appreciated you sending it to me because
you were proud of it and you wanted to share it with me and that means a lot to me. So thank you.
Thank you. And I wrote back and it spiraled. The whole thing spiraled in. In fact maybe I'll just
pull the messages up. My morning workout and there's a photo of, I've mentioned tart. Yeah. Beautiful. It's beautiful. I might
even put it up on Spotify in the middle of this video. That's what I'm going to do. And
I wrote yum. I just carried 64 kg for one minute. That's my workout. How we even friends. Lauren wrote, that's more than carrying me. Good
news. Rear fire. Yeah. Fire emoji. Yeah. I said there was a study done on women that
said the true definition of body strength was to be able to carry your own body weight
for one minute. So I wanted to check. You went good to know I can definitely do 25 kilos.
That's Barker. Then she wrote, uh, that was at 9 AM. Now at 3.21, you wrote,
it obviously been playing on your mind. What I'd said, you said, I just carried the memorial
bench, the bench that we were talking about in last week's show. It's just a bench, right?
At this point, it's not a memorial bench. It was bought as the memorial bench, but it's
not functioning as a memorial bench. He's still alive. The dog is still alive. I just carried the memorial bench from
the front garden to back garden. Minimum 40 kg. Now let me tell you something about Lauren.
When Lauren says something, you just automatically believe it.
Because it's true.
You say it was such conviction.
Also because it's true.
We haven't weighed it. You didn't weigh it.
Didn't need to.
You did. You do in order to clarify whether it is actually
40 kg. I wrote, I am very impressed. Then I wrote, this is where I think I lost Lauren
a bit. Is it actually 40 kg or did you make that up? Cause you struggled with the glass.
We carried some, the glass top to her table, her garden table. The other day she was worried
about it. There was a lot of huffing
and puffing. So I said, cause you struggle with the glass, which weighed about half a kilo. So
I'm finding it hard to believe you managed a 40 kilo bench by yourself four days later.
Or unnecessarily mean. It was unnecessarily mean. Also true. Also true. I just asked Zach to test. Zach is her
son. I mean, Zach, I mean, he's not a professional like, we're someone who goes to the gym and
lifts weights all the time. So he would know roughly what things weigh by picking them
up roughly. I said nothing. He said 40 kg. I said was I mean, you know,
we didn't we didn't witness it. So can't be true. You can phone him now. The glass was more fear
of it smashing than the weight, but it was at least eight kg. Anyway, anyway, my shoulder hurts
now. It does. I wrote it was not eight kg. It was at most two. We need to weigh everything. It's the only way. Oh, that sounds like an excellent use of time.
So
How would you like to weigh the guard the memorial bench and the glass on my table you want to get some sort of
Industrial scales in my garden and start weighing everything we could do that instead of recording show
I am very happy that you can lift this bench and lug it around your garden. I'm delighted to see you have destroyed me. That you saying well, because it's really bulky. It
would almost destroy anybody because it's a hard thing to carry on your own. Just just from the
shape of it. Yeah, carried it over. Like you're picking up a kettlebell, which is all in one
place. No, I carried it lengthways over one shoulder. So I've got a whopping bruise on my
shin and on my hip from it. This
was, it wasn't the best idea. Why did you do that? Wanted it in the garden in place. Why couldn't I've
waited for someone to come home and help me? Couldn't I reckon five years ago before you
met me, you would have waited probably, but now I just pick that up and carry it myself.
I was actually thinking more because my impatience has worn off on you. Oh, I see. I see. Yeah, maybe also just stubborn, stubborn that you can do it.
It's a hot thing to carry around the garden. I've got to be honest.
And then I put it down. Also, I feel like I somehow
inspired you because I said that I picked up 64 kilos and held it for a minute.
Yeah. Which we seem to have tripped over, which I have to say was quite impressive.
But what were you carrying that was 64?
I was carrying two 32 kilo kettlebells.
I mean, that sounds like hell.
For a minute, I wanted to check that I could carry it for a minute.
It was so hard.
Anyone listening that trains in the gym, honestly, carry your body weight for one minute.
It is really, really difficult.
You have to walk around slowly with it.
But also if there's a fire, you can just drag me by my feet or my hair. You don't have to
actually pick me up.
Your hair?
Well just get me out.
That would really hurt.
It's better than burning to death.
I don't think I'd want to...
Just drag. Just drag me. You don't have to pick me up.
I don't think we need to worry about it.
You might. How do you know you don't need to worry about it?
Shall we go to the first dilemma? I don't even know where this conversation has gone.
Right, come on, let's get on to our first dilemma, but we need the disclaimer first. You want to do the disclaimer?
Sure.
Go for it.
We are not doctors. We are not healthcare professionals. We are not golden retriever
breeders, sadly. This is just a fun space where we share our thoughts, which could be
totally wrong. So if there is an issue that you are seriously
struggling with please contact a qualified expert.
Here's our first question. I'm very very interested in your response to this.
My responses are a bit slow today. I've been up since 20 past five. I'm just
saying I am now drinking a new Tropic coffee to try and like
perk myself up okay. Just saying it's 10 past 112 been up for a lot of hours.
Basically it's your evening now. Yeah. Ready for bed. Well, you've got to answer this question
first. Okay. I have a 10 year old daughter and I've been thinking that when she starts
her period, I might buy her a small piece of jewellery like a necklace to give her to mark her transition to womanhood and to take
her mind off the fact that she'll have hormonal shit going on for the next 40 years or so.
Am I being weird or is this a nice thing to do? That's her question.
Well, I think I've got two daughters and I think it is a absolutely gorgeous thing
to do. And I think it is something you should mark. We marked it with both our girls.
Daisy went out for dinner. We were on holiday and I remember that her sister was like messing
around. She's like, you're ruining my period dinner. That is amazing. I always told the girls that I would give them a day off school. Yeah.
And that we would go shopping for the day. We would always market like that. Like, cause
there's a real moment, isn't it? Like I remember we used to get a slap around the face. I was
about to say, yeah, in it is, I mean, it doesn't, it doesn't happen now, but it is kind of a
Jewish tradition that when you got your period, your mother would slap you around the face because it was such a special moment.
It was like, you must always remember it.
But that's a horrible way to remember it. Much rather trip to Westfield.
Coming to mom, I've got my period.
Well, here's a Tiffany necklace. Yeah.
Yeah. It's not done anymore, but it was in days gone by. It was a thing, right? Olden days.
Yeah.
Anyway, so with Daisy, we were actually on holiday.
So I would have totally given her the day off
and we would have gone shopping
because I just think it's so gorgeous and so sweet.
I am with her.
I think it's not weird at all.
I think it's absolutely gorgeous.
I think it's a moment that absolutely should be marked
in a young woman's life
and I think they should remember.
I mean, I have three sons.
So I can't be like, here's a special bracelet for your first wet
dream. I mean, like, I don't know what are you supposed to do?
What about a shave? Oh, the first shave.
Why you got to make it weird? The first shave. Well, anyway, they all had
their first shave, but didn't really seem like a celebration moment. It was more like,
dude, there's bum fluff going on. You can't walk around like that. Ask your dad to help you shave.
I don't feel that if you had girls, you would be the kind of mom that would do that though.
I would be more like here's some sanitary towels and some paracetamol. Yeah. Sorry,
this is going to happen to you every month. Always. You would be very pragmatic. Here's
the pouch. Keep it in your bag. Always have it with you. You never know. Off you go.
I've already bought a pack of period knickers and period swimwear.
In case this was going to happen this month, I'd be fully prepared.
I would have told you all about it and I'd have all the stuff, but I'm not sure how sentimental I would be about it.
No, you wouldn't be sentimental about it. I was also very prepared, by the way.
I'm sure you were.
They had the pouch in their bag months before it came.
Excellent. I was on holiday when mine
happened with my dad. Oh, I was at Disney World Florida. Oh, let me just say it wasn't
a magical moment. It wasn't magical at all. I was sharing a room with my brother. I went
to the loo and I was like, Oh my God, what on earth? I mean, I knew what it was, but
also like what this is bad timing. What did you do? Did you have to tell your dad?
I knocked on the interconnecting door. My dad brought his girlfriend at the time.
She was so sweet. I was like, Laura, I think I've got my period.
She's like, should I tell daddy? I was like, no, no, no.
Like it's shameful in some way.
She was like, do you want to ring your mom and tell her? I was like yeah I
want to. I really want my mom. My mom was like oh I knew it was going to happen while you were on
holiday with dad I'm so annoyed that I'm not there and then Laura, God bless her, she went down to
the hotel gift shop. This was the 90s. She bought me a Mickey Mouse bum bag and she filled it with sanitary towels.
What a woman! Isn't that so kind?
Let me tell you something about 13 year olds now. If you gave them a Mickey Mouse bum bag,
a Minnie Mouse fanny pack filled with sanitary towels.
Unless the gift is from Sephora, don't bother.
Look, it was the 90s, we were in Disney World.
But how kind is that?
It's so sweet.
I just think it's so gorgeous and there's something still so innocent and young about
it.
And 13 year olds have become a lot more sophisticated.
I was only 12, but I, it was like, I obviously didn't have a handbag and obviously didn't
want to walk around with them.
So, you know, she just found a way to get around it whilst also looking really on trend. And then, and then she was like, I'm going to
tell, I'm going to tell your dad, I think he should know. And then my dad just like
looked at me and gave me this very kind of awkward hug of like, well done, but also like,
like, you know, it was like, oh God, yeah. So I also don't think it's weird parenting. I think it's cute.
It is cute and it's such a lovely mark of her going from a child to a woman.
Yeah, I mean, are you even a woman? You're just women. Things are happening to you.
So you are well physically.
Physically. Yeah. Okay. And you're not weird. Don't think you're weird. Don't let anyone tell
you you're weird. It's not weird. It's nice.
Lovely. Yeah. And what a lucky young lady to have you as their mom.
I'll tell you what I do think is weird. The women who make necklaces out of their breast milk.
You heard about those? You don't know those people. I fucking do. I was a doula for 16 years.
I know. If you make a necklace out of breast milk. Yup. They put it in resin and they make like brands. It's like to commemorate and
celebrate their breastfeeding journey. And then they wear their own breast milk in a
necklace pendant thing. Okay. Weird. Also just to add to that, you can do it with semen.
You can make like a little special necklace or ring with the semen. That's special, isn't it? Would you like one of those? Would you like one of those?
Oh yes, please. It's my anniversary today. I'm hoping that's what I get as my gift.
I wish Adam got you a necklace of semen.
Can you imagine? You're like, well, I've been planning this a really long time.
And I know you know you have the certain years and you have like the certain metals.
Well, apparently for your 18.
18 years is jizz.
Breaking news. A brand new game is now live at Bet365.
Introducing Prize Matcher, a daily game that's never ordinary.
All you have to do is match as many tiles as you can, and the more you match, the better.
We also have top table games like our incredible super spin roulette, blackjack, and a huge
selection of slots.
So there you have it.
How can you match that?
Check out Prize Matcher and see why it's never ordinary at Bet365. So I have a question.
Yeah.
I want to talk about lip liner.
Okay.
Because I am missing something with lip liner. Talk. Right.
Apparently it's back in. Yeah. And I know it's back in because of all the shit reality
TV programs I watch, all the young, very trendy, cool women are suddenly wearing dark lip liner
with a lighter lipstick. That seems to be a thing. And all I can think is why is your
makeup so dated? And then I realized, oh no, no, no, no. It's like the skinny jean thing that
I totally fucking missed. It's not dated. It's come back around. I can't get past it.
When did lip liner come back in? I have missed it. And I also, I cannot, cannot get on board
with it because it looks like they're out of the 1990s. It's not okay.
But the thing is, as they say, if you're old enough to have done it the first time around,
you're too old the second time around. So it's fine for us to skip that trend. I've
seen it. I wouldn't do it. Good. Because I think it would look real weird.
It's just not right. I can't. And also because some of the Kardashians do it now. So it's
definitely a thing.
Yeah.
It probably started with Kylie Jenner's makeup range anyway.
It did.
When did this happen?
Also, I never knew to the point where I'm like read an article that skinny jeans had come back in.
Yeah, to the point where no, but no, but I barely knew they'd gone out.
Oh really?
No, did no.
I saw this article about a year and a half ago they were coming
back and making a return. At this point I was thinking I'm still wearing mine like what
is going on here. So what lip liner and skinny jeans. I used to be cool. I used to be like
on the front lines of making women look cool and trendy. On the front lines. Yeah the front
lines. I used to honestly I was so ahead of it. It was always up on the front line. Yeah. The front lines. I used, honestly, I
was so ahead of it. It was always up on the coolest hairstyles. I don't reckon I'd know
now, but that's okay because you don't want to be a 48 year old who's like really cool.
Not like really cool because then you're like Katherine Hahn in the studio where you're
in your late forties. No, she's not cool. She's wearing like a Dior Burberry bikini top to work. No, it
is cool, but also tragic. She's not cool. She's tragic. But that's because she's trying
to be so relevant. But she's too old to be that relevant. Okay. So you're saying is it's
okay that I didn't know the lip liner was back in. Yeah. I also think it's okay that
like not to dress like Rihanna when you're 48. I think it's like not to dress like Rihanna when you're 48.
I think it's okay not to dress like Rihanna if you're not Rihanna.
Yeah, but you can get away with it when you're young.
Rihanna? Yeah.
When was the last time you saw Rihanna?
This morning.
Where?
Because she announced her pregnancy at the Met Gala last night.
Oh, I haven't caught up with the Met Gala stuff yet.
Well, I've looked at all the Met Gala outfits. I looked at Rihanna and I thought, this is me. She looks like
she's expecting again. And again, again, I didn't know Rihanna had a baby. You see what
I mean? This is the third. Right. Well, I didn't know with ASAP Rocky. I don't know
who that is. He's a rapper. It all starts with lip liner. And now look, I don't know
about Rihanna's family. I don't know who she's married to. I don't know anything. I've never even heard of it. I'm not sure
they are married, but they're very much together. You're missing the point. She also has a makeup
brand and I believe she does that with her lip liner Fenty. Fenty. And she is very on
it, right? But what I'm saying is I think when you're trying to be relevant at our age,
it's a bit sad. Like being relevant
is awful. You don't want to be relevant. You just want to have your own midlife style that
suits you. Otherwise, it's a bit try hard.
Excuse me, speak for yourself. I would still like to be relevant. Not not in a 20 year
old way or in a lip liner way or in a Kylie Jenner like Fenty Rihanna Burberry bikini top way,
just relevant in my own lane in my own way.
I'll tell you what else is a thing. I mean, this is so a thing now. When you're wearing
any like sweatshirt or jumper, you have to have a white t-shirt, the neck of the white
t-shirt peeking out through the sweatshirt or jumper.
Because if you don't, that is not cool.
And now I know this fact.
I can no longer wear sweatshirts or jumpers without the perfect white neck t-shirt thing
poking out because I feel just like so tragic.
J. Where did you hear that?
Who told you this?
C. Oh, it was like a total style thing.
J. How do you wear this?
C. Online, online, online.
And then there was a whole article.
Online wear?
No, I probably went down a fashion rabbit hole,
starting from like.
And when did you find this out?
Couple of weeks ago.
And when did you think of telling me?
So I'm now walking around with jumpers
without the white t-shirt looking.
Well, don't.
Was a bit late.
And also you can't wear that.
I like a v-neck t-shirt, can't wear that.. And also you can't wear that. I like a v-neck
t-shirt. Can't wear that. Oh no you can't wear a v-neck. It's to the point that my sister's
given me two of her v-neck t-shirts. It's got to be crew now. Got to be crew. I don't like
crew on me because I always have big boobs. It doesn't work. Oh wow. That's the look.
So I'm saying you can do tiny relevant tweaks where you don't look like you're 22 because
anyone can wear a white crew t-shirt. But I'm not saying I want to be 22. I just want to be up to date and what the fuck is
going on.
Well, that's what's going on. A lot apparently. A lot. A lot. No, if you turned up with some
dark lip liner and like a white lipstick Claudia Winkleman style, I'd be really like what's
going on here with the face? What's this look? You said to me today what's going on with
your face. No, in a good way I said it. You didn't. You just said I did. I actually different. I had
to ask. Do I look different? You're like, what have you? What have you done to your
face? I haven't done anything to my face. And you were like, no, no, you look different.
Like you actually asked me if I'd had a tooth removed. I know you said have you got a toothache.
No, it's had something round your mouth.
Which, correct me if I'm wrong, I didn't think was a compliment.
But now you're saying it, saying it like it was a fucking compliment. This is what I'm dealing
with everybody. This is what I'm dealing with. This is this is Laura's version
of a fucking compliment. Have you got a toothache? It's not okay. It's not okay. And I'm only
out finding out now we had the conversation about an hour ago. I'm only now finding out
that you meant it in a good way. And I said to you, what does my face look worse or better?
And you were like, it just looks different.
Yeah.
So I said, what, swollen?
You had no, the opposite.
Yeah.
Why would you think I had a toothache?
I did.
For those of you not watching the video, Lauren can't get herself together. I'm crying now. I don't know, you look normal now.
I look normal now. So then I went upstairs, my husband's upstairs and I said, does my
face look different?
He's like, what? Go away! I'm wrapping your jeizz necklace for tonight.
Oh, should we get on to our second dilemma?
Yes, please.
Oh, gather oneself.
Gather oneself.
I met my husband at a music festival when we were 30. He was a guitarist and he was pretty cool. Okay. I bet she knows about lip liner. She might.
I don't know why. Why is she does? I don't know because her husband's a guitarist. It's
not based on much. I'm just feeling sorry for myself. Okay. He is now 48 and has developed an intense interest in our driveway.
We live opposite a park and apparently people sometimes park a teeny bit over the edge of our drive.
I barely noticed, but it has become an obsession for him.
On the bank holiday weekend he announced that he's popping out to Homebase. He came back with not
one not two but four orange traffic cones, a large piece of white MDF and a marker pen. He put the
cones across the driveway and he wrote a sign on the MDF saying strictly no parking or traffic
enforcement officers will be called. It's like we've got our own little personal road
management scheme going on and I am mortified. He is now talking about
getting a camera fitted to note number plates. Who is this man and what happened
to my husband? I want to know, right? Is he still playing the guitar?
On the drive.
No, well, because my feeling is he probably isn't and he probably needs to because it sounds like
he needs an outlet. Does it not?
Yeah. Yeah. But you know, men of a certain age, they do get into neighborhood petty stuff. It becomes
a thing. You know what I mean?
This guy needs a hobby. He needs a hobby.
Sounds like the driveway is his hobby.
It's not a hobby. It's not a good hobby. And I don't think it's working for her.
It's definitely not, I would say doing it for her in an attraction kind of way.
No.
And also because everyone that's now driving by, he's probably like got his binoculars
out ready to like rid the front down the number plate, ready to ridicule them if they park
in the wrong place.
But you know what?
They shouldn't let the driveway is rude.
It is rude.
You know, I have to say, right, I live on a road. It's a very narrow road. So you can't
park two cars either side of the pavement because you will block the road. That's how
narrow the road is. Now I live on right on the corner at the end of the road. So it doesn't
really affect me so much. But this WhatsApp group goes on all day. Can such as such outside
number 44 please move the car. It's been there for two hours and 33 minutes
and I can't move all that shit.
What if an ambulance needed to get through?
There's always one of those every day.
So there's a lot of people getting very worked up
about the fact that they can't get through.
So I get it.
It is annoying.
But also it takes up an enormous amount of energy,
doesn't it?
It does, but I live in a cul-de-sac,
also very narrow, same problem,
you can only park on one side of the road,
you can't park on both, because no one would get through.
And loads-
No one would park on both sides in Europe.
Some assholes do.
And loads of people in my clothes
are having building work done.
So the other week, two vans-
Can I just say-
Over my whole time.
Loads of people in her clothes, right.
This close, there's about six houses.
17 houses, 17 houses. Since 17? Yeah. Okay. It's very small. Yeah. So it can't be loads of people having worked on.
Three of the houses are having full building work, scaffolding extensions, everything.
Two vans parked, not just block, like not a bit of my drive, but actually fully over the drive. So
I could not get out. I was trapped and it happened three times in the same day. And by the third time, I'd lost the plot.
So I just went into the house opposite
because the door was open.
And I was like, is that your van?
Yes.
I said, you are parked directly across my driveway.
I am trapped in my home.
I told him you were trapped.
And I have to leave my house.
And he came and he was like, Oh, normally I parked around
the corner and did it. I was like, I am not interested in your parking story. Move your
van now. I was so rude because I had it. I snapped. So I'm kind of feeling this guy.
I'm a bit feeling him. Do you know what I find amazing about you is you go from this
intense people pleaser to like, fuck you. Yeah. There is literally no in between.
There really isn't. But by the third time I've had it, I was like, it's so rude. I would
never dream of parking my van directly across. So someone couldn't get out of their own driveway.
It's rude. It's thoughtless. It's inconsiderate. It is all of those things. I do understand
why this guy has bought the traffic cones. I'm amazed you can buy traffic cones from where did you go? Homebase. Have
you ever seen traffic cones at home base? To be honest, never looked for them. I don't
know if that's even a thing. I don't even know why I want some, but I do. Like for no
reason. Is this a middle age problem? Driveways? It is a thing. I'll tell you what
my husband was doing over the bank holiday weekend and he was very invested in it. Very.
And this only happens twice a year, but every year without fail. Jet washing the patio.
Men love to jet wash the patio. Oh, so he did the other half, did he? He did. Because
the weekend before he'd only done half of the, yes. And he'd like stacked up all the
furniture hadn't he? Yeah. Hence why we had to move the done half of the. Yes. And he'd like stacked up all the furniture hadn't he?
Yeah.
Hence why we had to move the glass from the table.
Yeah.
It was a bit of a half a job Bob.
But the following weekend he did the other half.
He completed it.
Yeah.
Well done.
He loves a jet wash.
It's a big thing.
I think it's like the power of the water, the noise, the testosterone flying around.
It sounds like you like the jet wash.
I try not to be home with the jet wash.
Also, Adam splashes all the back doors. I can't stand it.
Then I have to wipe all the back doors.
And he always does it when we've got people coming over because you want the patio to look nice.
And then you've got to wipe all the doors.
Also, there was a terrible accident.
My little ladder with all my newly potted flowers from my Friday gardening session.
The hose smashed the ladder over. Loads of my pots got broken.
He looked very, very concerned that I was going to be cross.
I am not surprised. I just sort of walked out.
Was this on the same day as the driveway?
No, it wasn't.
Anyway, this poor listener is asking us what about her husband who she's lost and where's
he gone?
He's 48. That and where's he gone? I think she needs to get that guitar out the fucking loft, stick a duster over it and shove
it in his hands. I reckon that would solve a lot of problems. I mean it is a good solution but also
he is 48. Driveway obsessions happen. What do you want me to say? Sorry he's 48 it's only gonna get worse suck it up lovely so she comes here for some
support lovely it's nice isn't it we're gonna get worse we're living with given the guitar
give him the guitar seriously or a racket of some sort like he needs a hobby buy him a new guitar
buy him a new guitar take him to denmark street take him to the guitar shop, say hey. I know, rather
than sitting there. How do you know where the guitar shop is? I know. I've had dealings
with musicians in the past. Okay. Say hey. You are being so weird today. Can I tell you?
She is being so weird. Am I? Is it very disconcerting? I said to Laura
before we came on air look my most favorite thing about you is how stable you are. You can't start
going off the boil now. It's just we're not going to work if you do that. Are you going to take away
my Top Gun cool name if I if I have a breakdown. Your top gun call name was steadfast.
Yeah.
You're not so steadfast today.
Maybe it's just today.
Maybe maybe it's just the trend.
You know what? Now that I come to think of it, it's actually been a few weeks.
Yeah. It's happening.
It is, isn't it? Yeah.
I'm on the turn.
I'm on the turn.
As Ariella, who one of the girls who works in the studio today, she made
Lauren a coffee with off milk she
bought it to Laura she goes I don't know what's happened but once I put the milk
in it it went a bit funky we looked at each other like I'm not gonna drink the
milk why we are you checked well I don't drink milk will you check so maybe you're
just a bit funky today yeah maybe today and maybe all the day let's let's sign
off okay let's go bye Bye everybody. Listen, I hope
she's back on Tuesday. I'll do my best to get her back here for our unfiltered but we
will be back. Just watch this space. If you want to be in touch, hello at 40ish.co.uk.
We love your emails and everything, all your feedback coming in. So please, please keep
emailing us and we'll be back next week. Bye. dating story. Whether you're navigating the ups and downs of dating sites or just looking for some love
inspiration, we've got you covered.
Remember you're not alone when it comes to dating. Sometimes it's sad, but it's always
funny and that's just him on his first dates.
So join us every week on Suddenly Single.