40ish - Peter Andre, Doggy Dress Up and Fire Pit Flirtation

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

Today on 40ish: Nicole is nostalgic for Peter Andre (yes, mysterious girl, waterfall etc) and has officially lost patience with people who think we need their full autobiography before getting to the lasagna recipe. Meanwhile, Lauren is incandescent with rage over a dog in a velour tracksuit. (No, really. A DOG. IN VELOUR. Let that sink in.) And if that weren’t enough midlife madness, our listeners are bringing the drama too: one woman is wondering if she should cancel a holiday after someone else’s husband got a little too flirty around the fire pit. Honestly—this is middle age, not Love Island, dude. Grow up!  We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH To book tickets for our live show in October click here: https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have to say that your most 40-ish moment of the week is telling me that it was vibes. You don't even need to give me anything else. Are you going to tell me you snogged bubblorax at this party? That's a sentence you never thought you'd say. I haven't come on to this to learn about your life story. I don't care. I don't know you. I don't have time for this bollocks.

I don't have the headspace. for your holiday in Tuscany and what fucking lemons you chose. Hello everybody, welcome back to a brand new series of 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we tackle the chaos of being 40-something. Each and every week, in fact, twice a week. We dive into everything mid-life.

We do. Mid-like news, your stories, your dilemmas. And of course, we share our own feelings and feelings. Thoughts and experiences, a 40-something life. But we're not just diving into it twice a week. We're recording it twice a week. We're actually diving into it every single minute of every single day because we can't not be middle-aged.

No, we can't. We just can't. It's this or dead? Yeah. That's your choice. Yeah. I choose this. I also choose this currently.

No, always. Okay, always, always, always. And please don't forget that you can, can subscribe to this show on Apple podcast where you get early access, add free listening across both this show and Self Care Club, and you get bonus

content that you won't get anywhere else. Occasionally, we drop the odd episode that is just for our subscribers. That's on Apple Podcasts. So please come and join that. And you get to watch the video of this show every week on Spotify. Or you can listen on any other podcast platform.

And if you've got something to share big or small we would love to hear it, please email us. at hello at 40ish.com. Be in touch, be part of the conversation or you can DM us if you like. Yes, we don't mind how you contact us. We don't mind. Anyway, pigeon is fine, fax.

Pager. You can hit us up on a pageer. You know, it really wouldn't be a shock if you still had a fax. I mean, I'm sure my printer is also a fax. Did you ever have a fax? At home? Yeah.

Yeah, we definitely did. I mean, what a weird thing. So weird. That really burnt itself out quite quickly, didn't it? But it was so novel at the time. Yeah, and it was really handy when you worked in an office. I never worked in an office, so I was never part of the fax phenomenon. I was part of the faxed community.

Were you? Just fax it over. Yeah. Yeah. And it would still take like 10 minutes for the vax to come through, wouldn't it? It would. And then it was like, okay, email it over and you were like, email it over. Yeah.

What's as an attachment? That's very novel. Did you have a Blackberry? No. I had a pager. I'm watching all old episodes. Well, they're all old, of brothers and sisters. Oh, yeah.

And they've all got Blackberries. yeah it's really interesting yeah i was never into blackberry did you have one no i was a hairdresser what i need a blackberry for yeah i didn't need messenger did you have a phylifax did you it wasn't called messenger what was it called msmsm i didn't have any of that did you have a file of acts did you i did i had a mulberry file of facts my mom and dad bought it for me one this mulberry file of facts i never had one you never had a file of facts i know can you believe that. No, I actually can't. It's so brand for me to have one. Maybe I should get one now. I'm surprised you don't have one. Do you have one? No, I don't. Never had one. I think I might buy you

one for your birthday, not Marlbury. I want Marbury. It was so awesome. It was an Amazon one. I wish I could, I wish I could find that. I need your loft. Wherever, anyway, come on. Anywho. What's going on? Well, I mean, listen, I don't know when this show's going to go out, but 26th of September, the Icaro Christmas slots. opened. Do you put that in your diary and how do you? They send an email. Christmas slots opening tomorrow morning 8 a.m. So I woke up 8 a.m. I'm like today's the day. I booked the slot. Did you go on at 8 a.m? I went on at like 10 past 8. That is very shoddy. Got my slot the one I wanted

always December 23rd the morning of the 23rd because then you have a party on 24th. Yeah and then if I know if something isn't delivered I've got the day to go buy it person and then I do the other thing which is very kind of me. I message all my people who I know will appreciate knowing about the Accardo slot but might not have realized themselves. A Cardo slot open. Make sure you book. That's very sweet. Do you make sure that you have got your slot first? Yes. Yeah. And then I can't tell you the feedback I get from that. Thank you. You are my organizational queen. I got a lot of love back for sharing that. And you also even put it on Instagram. I did. Did you regurgitate the old video because you'd already made that?

I had made a video, yeah, a couple of years ago. Oh, so it was the same one? Yeah, I'm doubly impressed with this. It was like some two years ago. And you went and found it? Yeah, I did. You actually thought. I actually thought, a Cardo so it opens today.

I know I've made a video about this in the past. I'm going to find that video. And did you go, did you date it? Like, did you go back like 26th of September, 2024? It was actually the 24th of September that year. But is that what you did? Yeah, I found it. Very good.

Thank you. Thank you so much. That is a lot. That's a lot for me. that's gone on at 10 past 8 at the morning. It really is. You know, it's exactly the same as basically the club, the gym that I'm a member of, my home club, the paddle courts opened.

Now, it's been a long time coming, this paddle court's opening. I'm not going to bore you with the details very much. But it's opened. But it's opened. Great. And they did a party and it was a whole thing. A party? Yeah.

Is it an actual party? There was a lot of, whatever, doesn't matter. They have balloons, they had a DJ. That's a party. It's a whole thing. Balloons and a DJ is a party. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

There was no gin and tonics. Did anyone dance? No, they were playing paddle. Why do you need to DJ, though, to play paddle? Just give it some vibes. Wow. Did you hear that? Give it some vibes on the paddle court.

Fell out my mouth. Special. Anyway. I have set up the paddle WhatsApp group. I can't talk about this now. And there is so much material in this paddle WhatsApp group. And I've kind of even done it for the podcast. I swear to God, because I could do the whole podcast just on this

paddle WhatsApp group now. Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to for another day because I've got a lot to talk about today. Great. Okay. The paddle slots were supposed to open today.

Yeah. Monday. The, what day is it? It's the 29th today. 29th of September. They were supposed to open at 7.30 a.m. Anyway, my friend messaged me on Saturday and said,

the paddle slots are open. And I'm like, shut up. She goes, I thought they were opening Monday. Anyway, we basically went in. we started booking like maniacs because you just can't you're never going to so I said to her

are you done she said yeah I said do you have all your paddle courts for the week she said I do because you can only book nine days in advance I said okay shall I open it up now yes because I'm admin yeah oh you're admin well I put that on the group yeah did it come wild bookings are open was all I had to say three little words

and it went wild let me tell you something that group has not shut up has not shut up from that one Ollie told me on Saturday, he was like, oh, by the way, did you know the paddle courts have opened now at the David Lloyd? I was like, believe me. Believe me, I'm aware of the fact they have opened. And he's looking at me in the car like, why are you away? You don't even go to the fucking club. I was like, Nicole is the admin of the group. And he literally, he just gave me one glance. He was like, of course she is. And that was it. That was all he said. Look, I am not doing it to be like gracious and generous with my time. I am doing. doing it for one thing and one thing only.

Court time. That's it. That's it. Booking time and court time. That's it. Okay. Granted it's not paid off yet. Well, it actually has. It has. I have to say that your most 40-ish moment of the week is telling me that it was vibes. Okay? You don't even need to give me anything else because I think

that even trumps being smug about booking the Okado slot in September. It's nothing to do with Paddle and it's nothing to do with anything. Well, it's very 40-ish, I'm just saying. you've done it you've you've had the moment i actually think that is very gen z of me it really isn't the fact you the fact you think it is gen z of you is what makes it so gorgeous my kids thought i was a millennial on friday night and then when my when my youngest found out that i wasn't a millennial she thought that was utterly tragic she's like you're not even a millennial

because to her a millennial is old to me a millennial is young very young yeah anyway yeah can i tell you my most 40s thing please please i went to to a show. I went to the Staying Relevant show. Oh, the live podcast of staying relevant, yes? Yeah. Pete Wicks. At the O2. Sam Thompson. Yeah. If you're a fan of the show

I mean, we're always plugging other people's podcasts. I mean, why not? Why stop at Graham Norton? Yeah. Who still hasn't gotten back to us by the way. No, he hasn't. I keep tagging him. I keep seeing like with my hand over my eyes. What are you tagging him in? What are you tagging him in? Whenever we talk about him on the show and plug his.

show i always tag him on the social he doesn't care he's graham norton he doesn't care he doesn't need it anyway yep you went to see pete and sam saying relevant at the o two yeah firstly i got invited to the after party this is not my most fortieth thing was it was it vimes when i told you yeah that i was going to the after party it wasn't like you know your good friend saying oh that's so fun and i was going with my daughter and like have a gorgeous night i just i can't wait to hear about how it was for you what did i get back all i got back was not even have a nice time. It was like stony silence, then it was,

if you snog Pete Wicks, I'm going to kill you. If you snog Pete Wicks at the after party, I will kill you. That's what I believe I said. Yeah. I was convinced. I was convinced. Convinced. That you were going to meet him at the after party, a few bevvvvies down.

Beffies. And then you'd be in the corner, touching those neck tattoos. Firstly, I don't find Pete Wicks attractive. I know I'm like the only woman on the planet. I really don't. I don't think you're the only woman in the planet, but you're in the minority. Okay, I'm all right with that.

He's not for everyone. He doesn't do it for me. He does it for me. I know he does. I don't know why though. Secondly, I've been married for 18 years. Why would I suddenly go to an after party? I'd I suddenly go to an after party

a snog someone I don't even fancy. It's part of the strictly curse. I'm not in strictly. You were. And neither is he anymore. And he was too. So there's that. So there was a lot involved.

Yeah, yeah. Fidelity aside. Thirdly, Pete Wicks, Don't need to snog a 48-year-old mother of two teenagers, does he? You don't know that. I do know that. I'll put myself down. It's obvious.

Just because he's shacking up with Yovita. Yeah. You know, Eastern European in her 20s and a dancer. But, you know, whatever. But I'm not in competition. Good for her. Good for them. I'm happy for them.

I'm thrilled for them. Anyway. Anyway. Yeah. Peter Andre came on the show. On the stage? show. He came on stage and he sang a few songs.

He only has one song. Let me tell you something. He has a few songs. Let me tell you something. He was absolutely great. What relevance does he have to the staying relevant podcast? It's a show. At the O2. They also had Martin, what's his face? No, not Martin. Marvin. Marvin? From...

Marvin Humes. J.L. Hume from Jellis. Because apparently Samsung, I'm massive jealous. so he came on and he sang a song I have to say that's a lot padding in that show by the sounds of it they played

Shag Mary Kill with Pepper Pig Shrek and Elsa okay there was a lot of padding anyway the point is yeah is that Peter Andre yeah how old is Peter Andre now 45? 50

yeah ish pushing 50 pushing 50 he looks absolutely great good for him anyway do you remember the song mysterious girl Mysterious girl

I want to get close to you Anyway so they had the video behind him As he was singing the song And obviously he pretended he wasn't going to sing it He was in a waterfall, topless With his six pack It was iconic He was like 24 or something

When he did that video No he was much younger Was he? I mean it was iconic totally I remember it It was totally iconic wasn't it Yeah In fact I think I wrote down the year The year of Mysterious Girl

It was 2004 Okay. I was 27. Yeah. Anyway, so do you remember it? I'm just going to play a little bit to you. Go on.

Okay, this guy. Shaggy? It's shaggy, isn't it? No. It's not shaggy. I don't think so. Oh. Well, the reggae guy.

Yeah. Right. Do you remember him? the video? Also, a young, hot, very lean looking young man. I do not remember him. Anyway, he was on stage with Peter Andre. What? Singing. They were doing it together.

Nice. Bublarenx. James says he's bubble ranks. James. James, I love to you know that. Tell me you just asked chat GPD. Or did you know it? Fortunately, I actually introduced Peter Andre on MP.

in the year it was released I was DJing for singled out backstage. Oh, wow. James, you were a presenter on MTV. No, I had to intro him to the crowd. Oh, you introed him to the crowd. Well, you're the warm up guy.

Wow. James was the warm up guy. And what was his name, Bubbler ranks? Bublar ranks. Okay. So you're about to tell me a story. Do you remember Bubbler ranks? Yeah.

A hot. A hot guy. The pair of them, they were like 12 packs thrown in your face under the fountains in Jamaica or wherever they were. Are you going to tell me you snogged Bublaranks at the after party? That's a sentence you never thought you'd say. No. No.

I didn't go to the after party. Okay. Oh, I'm disappointed. Bobbleranks was on the stage doing baby girl and all this with Peter Andre. Peter Andre looks great. Good Andre looks like Peter Andre. Bubler ranks was unrecognisable.

And I said to my friend Sarah, it can't be the guy in the video. She goes, it is the guy in the video. They sound exactly the same. They still sound great. He is officially a middle-aged man. So time has not been kind. I'm sorry, Bubler ranks.

But Peter Andre looks like a middle-aged man, but he's been to the gym more than Bubler ranks, I would say. And I just suddenly thought, God, because Peter Andre has aged so well. He really has. Yeah, yeah. And it just made me realize how, by looking at Bublarenges, how many years ago, Mysterious Girl actually was.

Yeah. 21. 21 years ago. And I'm sure, listen, I look very different. 21 years ago. Yeah. And so does he. So Bubler Ranks, I am with you, but it was.

What are you saying? Stay off the Pies, Bublour Ranks. I'm saying he made me realize how long ago Mysterious Girl was released. Let's go on to a dilemma. But before we do, a very quick disclaimer, we are not doctors or healthcare professionals. So if there is an issue you are seriously struggling with, then please contact a qualified expert. Hello, ladies.

I love the podcast. Thanks for keeping me saying during the big wash. ferrying kids about and hiding from said kids in the car. I've deliberated long and hard about sending this in, which annoys me even more, the fact that this whole situation is taking up brain space, so here I am hoping you can clear up the brain baggage. We'll do our best.

Over the summer, we went on a big camping trip with a gang of school friends, loads of families, feral kids, sausages on sticks, joyful chaos. Oh, a lovely phrase, joyful chaos. One night, we were all sat around the fire, my husband had gone to bed and one of the other dads whose wife had just had their third baby came and sat next to me and told me I was beautiful. Oh, it's already not good, is it? I kind of froze, turned to my friend next to me, grabbed her hand, oh, did it in front of the friend, grabbed her hand and carried on the conversation, trying to ignore it and not make a scene,

but then he said it again and again. Eventually I made my excuses and went to bed. I told my husband the next morning, he took it better than I expected all things considered. The guy, looked suitably sheepish for the rest of the trip but never actually apologize. It was just awkward. Now is that time of year when we start planning the next trip and my husband's not exactly racing to sign up. I totally get it. But I'm also annoyed that we might miss out and massively disappoint the kids because one dad couldn't behave. I completely agree. So what would you do? Go anyway, say something, avoid it altogether. Help. Crocs and socks wearing mama. P.S. I recently dashed out of the house to get the kids to breakfast club

jumped on a train and only realized when I got to sew her that I was proudly rocking my crooks and socks, I think she should be loud and proud with this. It was a moment, but now I'm fully embracing the liberation. Good for you. Okay. Okay. There's a lot here. The fact that he didn't apologise the next day

in a way I think is sort of better because to then bring it up again and to make it into more of a thing is worse than actually just trying to pretend it didn't happen. I mean, was he drunk? It's not an excuse. He was definitely drunk. Oh, you don't know that.

She didn't say that. She didn't say that. But it was the fact that the next day, obviously his energy had shifted and he looked sheepish. He was probably regretting. I mean, listen, I'll tell you. He repeated it a few times. He probably was drunk.

But all he said was, you're beautiful. He didn't touch her. He didn't say anything rude. or smutty. If Adam repeatedly said to you, you're beautiful, would that make you comfortable or uncomfortable? Deeply uncomfortable.

There you go. And it would make me deeply uncomfortable with Ollie did the same. But if it was like a... No, no. And I'm thinking of all of my friends' husbands, if any of them repeatedly said it, it would make me really uncomfortable.

And it would be completely inappropriate. What about if they just said you look really beautiful tonight, once? Completely different. Is that okay? Completely different, don't you think? Yeah. Yeah.

That's just a really nice compliment from one friend to another. Yeah. But you look really beautiful. You are really beautiful. She said he said it again and again. No. No. I tell you why I think he was drunk.

He's coming onto her. He did it in public around a campfire with her friend sitting next to her and she's squeezing her hands. They're obviously all sitting very tightly together. And I think if you were really were trying, to make a pass or there was anything kind of more behind it. He would do it privately or when no one was around and maybe, listen, A, maybe she is very beautiful. B, maybe he holds a little candle for her.

C, maybe he was a bit pissed and it kind of slipped out. D, it's not maybe. He definitely holds a candle for her. Okay. Look. E, regardless of what his feelings are, he should not be doing that. His wife's just had a third baby. It's inappropriate. Whether she'd had no babies, one baby, five babies.

You still shouldn't be coming on to anyone. No. That was a come on. Yeah. And it's made her really uncomfortable. And now she's, you know, questioning whether or not she should go. They should definitely go. They should definitely go.

No way that you avoid a whole holiday because of this. No, and it's not fair on your kids. And also, you don't say anything. You don't say anything. You just don't sit next to him around the campfire. You just don't talk about it. And if he does do it again, then you say something. I'm sorry, that makes me feel uncomfortable.

or I don't really feel it's appropriate for you to call me beautiful. Thank you, but it's not appropriate. So what you're saying is give him one more chance. Definitely. I have to tell you. But the problem is, is that she's going to feel uncomfortable the whole time. And I'm just saying that if she potentially said something,

like as in, I know, I've remembered what you said to me, please don't ever say it again. It didn't wash well with me or whatever words to not support it. Then it shuts it down. It does, but then you're also maybe creating a bit of a stink at the start of the holiday. You know? No.

No. She, he created it. He's created it. I'm saying I wouldn't start off a holiday like that. I would just let it go. It's a whole year away. It's a whole year away. I wouldn't have, I wouldn't wait a year.

Well, I wouldn't wait a year. I think she's already waited too long because she should have said it on the spot. No, I don't agree. I actually don't agree because I think sometimes it takes time. a process, time to not be upset, time to just sort of come down, figure out how you want to approach it in a calm manner to get your point across. I think it's better that she's left it. But you would say something now. I mean, I wouldn't want to or maybe I would say to Adam, can you tell him not to say that again? But then you don't need like a, you need a man

projecting you? No. Is it for your husband to say it? I don't think it would, I don't think it's the wrong thing to do if adam turned around to him and said listen mate don't please don't speak to my wife like that and we're cool just don't do it again and that's it there doesn't need to be a whole thing i would simply say if anything happened again that made me feel really but why are you giving him the opportunity is what i'm saying like i don't think this guy i i don't want her to feel uncomfortable so whatever happens she does though yeah no exactly exactly so it's about her and it's about what is going to make her feel peaceful and her enjoy any time that she's around him

and the kids and everything else, right? The joyful chaos, just allow her to be present in the joyful chaos rather than worrying about whether he's going to say, I'm going inappropriate or not. And I think the only way to do that is to front foot it and say, look, I really didn't like what you said to me, please don't say it again. We don't need a whole conversation about it, let's just forget it.

And he won't do it again. She's putting a boundary in. It's firm, it's clear, it's not dramatic, and that's it. And then she can relax because it's about her. this email came in when I was driving and I had Josh in the car next to me he's 12 and it was open on my phone so he read it before I read it actually

and he read it and he went and I said what what read it to me so he read the whole thing to me and I was like oh and I was like what do you think about Josh and he said to me she should definitely go on the holiday it's not that deep and I was like okay and I agree with Josh it's not appropriate but it's not

that deep. He didn't do anything that bad. I think he was just pissed and he shouldn't have said it and it wasn't nice, but don't even consider not going on the holiday. Definitely don't consider not going on holiday, but I don't agree with that it's not that deep. I don't. It's a total overstep. It's a total overstep. And if it happened to me, I would feel so uncomfortable about it. And also, because what he's done in that moment is he's changed something because he's put something out on the table that just didn't need to be out there. And now, she has to deal with it and I wouldn't appreciate that I really wouldn't it's not it's really inappropriate and uncool of him but he's done it yeah so she needs I think in

in order for her to feel okay it needs to be dealt with good luck yeah horrible crock wearing mama yeah keep wearing your crocs here's a little bit of feedback we've had update it was from the lady who had been her marriage had been ended by email and she had been hooking up with a married man and simultaneously some guy at the gym yeah yeah yeah so she sent some an update oh yeah update i drove past the married man with his wife it broke me i ended it good what a fool to think that he would make me feel loved if only men knew the damage they cause time to start investing in myself and not in others I think

she also on the weekend sent us a three minute voice note did she? Yes Are we allowed to play it? No no no no we can't play it but because we were quite interested in the subdom relationship with the man at the gym so she was just kind of filling us in on a bit of detail about what was going on there

and with the maro man you tell us I didn't where was this on Instagram I can tell you that she said It's very enjoyable. She is not doing anything that she doesn't want to be doing. But that's not the point of it, though. And she is enjoying everything that she is doing with him. And it feels kind of fun and good for right now.

And very good for her self-esteem and, like, boosting her confidence and good for her sexuality. I was like, good for you. Good for you. I love that for her. Yeah, I do too. And I'm really pleased she's done to the married man. Yeah, me too. Because no one needs that.

No one needs that shit. Well done. Yeah. So she's like doing really well. Oh, I'm really pleased. Yeah. Yay. Yay.

Should we get on to our meltdowns? Go on. You know what? I'm really over this. What? Like, I'm so over it. What? You know when you look up a recipe?

Yeah. And then it gives you a whole life fucking story. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's like just literally give me the ingredients and the method. I did not think that you would be... I don't need to know that I... Why do we... Once you went to Tuscany.

Yeah, and you grew up and how it's inspired the spices that you're putting in and like seriously, why? Why are they doing this? I'm so pleased you're, I thought I was going to get roasted for this. No. It's so nice to know where everything came from.

To caveat it, in a cookbook, I really enjoy that because often, especially if it's Nigella Lawson or there are lots of authors who write cookbooks and its recipes combined with storytelling, history, family, whatever. But you're buying the book because you want those things, right?

Jamie Oliver does not do that. No, he doesn't. And I'm here for it. Jamie Oliver is also massively dyslexic. So for him to write a cookbook has always been a big struggle. I'm not buying Jamie Oliver's book to hear about his fucking holiday in Tuscany. I'm buying it because I want the five ingredients that I need to make the filo fucking pastry. Like that's it.

But when I'm buying some cookbooks, like, oh my God, Rose, I can't remember it's going to do my head in now that I can't remember the name of the book. But there are a few, especially like the nine. Nigel Slater ones, Nigella's ones as stories. I'm talking about online. But what I'm saying is when I'm in the book, I want the story in the background. When I'm looking for recipe online,

I want the list. That's it. And suddenly you have to scroll all the way down. And it says jump to recipe. That's very helpful. But then it doesn't jump to recipe. And I'm still having to scroll down. And then it's giving me the difference in Fahrenheit

and Celsius or the difference in the different type of fucking lemons I've got to use. I've got one lemon in my fridge. That's what's being used. I don't need to know that this lemon is better or this kind of salt is better. Like, it's not relevant to me. It's Saxa, that's it, finished.

Don't judge. It's molden. I don't use that to cook. Saksa. I don't use that to cook with. You should. And a lot of people like kosher salt. I used to have kosher salt.

What was the difference? It's just more salty. You need less mulden because it's more salty. Look. I'm part of the problem. part of the solution. Exactly. That's my meltdown.

I don't have time. I'm a busy woman. If I have gone to the trouble of trying to find a fucking recipe, don't give me a life story. I really, really. I do understand. To the point where I'm now getting

a lot of my recipes from TikTok. I don't like that. I know you don't. But some of the recipes are fantastic. Fantastic. I hear that. I hear that. They're all just food bloggers.

It doesn't matter where they're putting the content. I don't like the way it feels very bite-sized I love it I love that yeah and also then you scroll down your snapshot there's your list of ingredients finish I know what you mean I get it it needs to be efficient it's not efficient

that's my meltdown okay what's yours my meltdown is a headline dogs as accessories dogs as accessories I just can't what do you mean dogs as accessories I was I was outside someone's house the other day it was a Sunday this woman walked past

she had the coiled and facelift as in you know like ponytail on top of her head and she was in a burgundy that's what they call it coiled and facelift and she was in a burgundy um velour track suit she's walking her dog her dog also had its hair up in a high coydden facelift and the dog i shit you not it wasn't wearing a dog coat or a dog one of those fleece onesie things that stops them getting muddy it was wearing a two-piece burgundy velour track suit separate track suit bottoms separate

zip up hoodie hoodie it it was revolting it was revolt I'm sorry

it was the tackiest thing I have ever seen I couldn't stop staring I was like staring what breed was it I don't know some little thing

no it wasn't pomerani because it had long hair because it was on top of top of its head. I don't know. It was a small thing. Anyway, I couldn't stop looking at it. And she walked past and she could see. I was staring at the dog and I thought, I can't say what I want to say, right. It's Georgie. I don't care. It's judgy. I said to her, oh, he's in his Sunday best today. And she said, hmm, I thought she doesn't even know what I mean. I just, it made me like, it's very it made me want to go and like, wash my, wash myself. I can't, but it was just, it was. Can I just tell you who else does that?

Someone who you love. Harris Hilton. No. I don't love her. Who? Lisa Vanderpump. Her dog was hairless. So?

That's why he had to because it was very bad because of the sun. He wasn't in a two-piece valour. Come on. What was his name? Jiggy. Jiggy. Jiggy. Jiggy had a terrible skin condition.

I can't with you. Because your judgments are so weird and all over the place. Because I remember once when Miley came back from the groomers and they'd put a flower. what on her collar and you were Mrs. Judging Judgeson. See? See? Listen. In her hair.

See? She hated it. Anyway, she slapped that thing out of her hair. You were like, she can't wear this. This is not okay. I'm like, oh, okay. Dogs are not accessories. Right. Yeah. But when Barker turned up in a bandana that is different. Why? Because it's like a collar.

It's not a fucking track suit. Sorry. You know what you call that? that hypocritical. It's cool. Dogs in bandanas are cool. Dogs in two-piece I walked into her house, listeners, I walked into her house.

And it was done within like two months later after she dragged the flower out of my beautiful princess's hair. She didn't even know what had gone on. It's not hair, it's fur. Because they're dogs, yeah? So they don't need hair bands, hair clips. You call it hair cuts.

You don't call it a fur cuts. They should call it hair cut. Faircut. But they don't. It's called a hair cut. They're fucking shirt. You should trademark that. But they don't. So we can call it hair if we want to. I often ask Miley what it's like to have a furry face. She never answers. Anyway, so I walked into your house and he's in the bandana. Yeah. And I'm like, excuse me, I thought we weren't allowed to put accessories on dogs.

And you went, what can I tell you? He was feeling bougie. Yeah. It's different. No. It's not the only difference is you've done it. You would not put Miley in a two-piece velour hoodie, tractsuit and bottoms. Of course I wouldn't. No, you wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. But I also wouldn't have a visceral reaction to someone doing it. I would burn it.

I would. You see what I mean? I can't explain. It was one of the most revolting things I've ever seen. I understand. This is a dog. I'm telling you now. The dog was looking at me like, why?

Is she dressing me like I'm a fucking cabbage patch kid? Like I'm a dog. You put Barker in accessories. It was just a bandana. It's like a collar. It's different. It's an accessory. It was Kath Kitson.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Her tracksuit might have been juicy for all you know. Her track suit was minging. Okay, we don't have a listener by Lema. So who's going to win? Let's ask, get James to decide. Yeah.

No, he'll choose you because you're his favourite. James. He also doesn't make recipes. Wait for this, listeners. James! No, he's gone, he's left the building. We'll have to decide between us. Maybe we'll just have a moratorium this week.

I don't think that yours is just an opinion. It's not really a meltdown, it's an opinion. Mine's just being a judgy bitch. Yeah. Well, no, it's an opinion. It gave me rage. I'm just telling you it gave me some rage. But I own it.

That it was very judgmental. What makes me laugh is that we've just recorded a self-care club podcast. And it's all about our October wellness roundup show. We talk about all the products we've been using and what our recommendations are and TV and books and everything else. It's a lovely episode. And Lauren has been cracking on about Ashwaganda and how it's so good for her mood.

I fucking love it. And she doesn't have any PMT and she's so even tempered and she's so this and she said that she has been raving on about it. Yeah. And now here we are in a meltdown about a velour track suit on a dog. To be fair, I had just like come back from a funeral. I saw the dog on the way back. So I think I was already in a state of heightened emotion.

But it pushed me right over the edge. Heightened emotion? Yeah, it pushed me right over the edge. I'm also annoyed by the recipe thing. I do feel that. I get it. So I don't mind giving you the win because I do understand how irritating that is. It's just annoying.

I haven't come on to this to learn about your life story. I don't care. I don't know you. I don't have time for this bollocks. I don't have the headspers. for your holiday in Tuscany and what fucking lemons you chose. I don't fucking care.

If it says one lemon, done. Okay. You can win. Thanks. You're welcome. I think mine's more relatable. I think people will relate to mine. Because you relate to it,

and I really didn't think you were going to. I do, I do relate to it. Thank you. Yeah. That is our episode on 40-ish. We'll be back on Thursday. We will be back on. No, Tuesday.

Tuesday. We don't know, we've lost track, you see, because what happened was, we started recording. Yeah. We're ahead of ourselves. We're ahead of the game. So we don't know when this is going out. It's going out either on a Thursday or a Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed it.

You will know that, listeners, because whenever you're listening to it, you'll know the day of the week. Oh, you know what? Listen to it on a Wednesday. We don't mind. We're not judging. Are we, Lauren? Not at all. We'll be back soon.

Bye. Thank you.