40ish - Picky Bits, Adulting & the Memorial Bench

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

This week on 40ish, Lauren is installing a memorial bench (a bit pre-emptive for someone who is still living) whilst Nicole has a crash course in adulting when a youngster crashes into her car.  A listener is fed up being used as a free Uber service by her colleagues and a prawn ring turns into a boxing ring when angry words are exchanged after a nice “picky bits in the garden” afternoon goes horribly wrong. Grab your carrot sticks and hummus and tune in for a serving of midlife meltdowns.  We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I said this is what happens when you get to Lake Waters you get excited about this shit and then they just looked at me like that's never gonna happen to me and I thought well it is. It is. When she thought I was out of earshot I heard her say I know it's not very nice don't worry we'll stop at Nando's on the way back because I'm hungry too. And now she can go fuck herself and because, no she can! Listen I've got my period I can be a little bit more aggressive today and also... And also I've completely lost my train of thought. And he said oh I did ask Lauren to come, but she had a GP appointment. I said, what do you mean she had a GP appointment? I don't know about any GP appointment.

And then he looked at me like I was being weird. Hello everyone. Welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcombe. This is the podcast that navigates challenges and absurdities of 40 something life. And every episode we chat about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and

we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk about your podcast, and we talk Welcome to Fortyish, I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcon. This is the podcast that navigates challenges and absurdities of 40-something life. And every episode we chat about your problems, issues, rants and meltdowns that you have kindly shared with us. And we also share our own shit and mess of navigating midlife. That sounds delightful.

Well, that's the show. I know't sorry. That's the show. Probably could have done without the swearing, but that is the show. It doesn't sound that appealing on that premise, does it? Here's all the shit. Well, hold on. But that's no, I know. This is what's written down. This is the podcast navigators, the challenges and absurdities of 40 selling life. Every episode, we discuss your problems, issues and rants you've kindly shared with us and also divulge our own stories about the problems and mess of navigating midlife. You've actually written Problems twice. That's the script. I didn't go that far away from it.

No, it's just the more I hear it, the less appealing it sounds. Well, we get a lot of feedback telling people how telling us how great the show is. So let's just stick with it. Okay. Come on. Tell us what's going on your 40 ish life. Well, something pretty middle aged is going on. It has to be middle aged. It is because you are and you're going to take the piss and I'm just going to have to suck that up because I don't care. Maybe I won't take the piss. Maybe I'll surprise you. Maybe I will shock you. Maybe I will throw you through a loop and I won't take

the piss. Maybe I'll be very compassionate. You won't understanding. You won't. I might. You won't. I'm going to try. I don't know what you're going to say, but I'm going to try. I decided because it's coming up to the summer and it's quite warm that I would like a bench in my garden, a nice bench at the back where the sun shines in the late afternoon to sit and have a cup of tea and just be be middle aged in my garden. Okay. You're nodding, but I can tell already you're like, Oh Jesus. And then I thought, because I've had this plan for like quite a while as the winter has been going, be so nice because I'm going to make it a memorial bench for my dog. But the thing is he's not dead. You also don't have the bench. Well, I am getting the bench this week, but it feels a bit weird to put his name on

it while he's still like trotting around the garden. So I think what I'm going to do is just get the bench and then when the sad day comes, I'm going to find like, Oh yeah. I was about to say someone to carve, but that would be much harder to find than like a plaque you can do online and then screw it onto the bench. Also known as a carver. A carver. Or like a carpenter? Yeah.

Woodsman? Someone with big arms? I don't know. I don't know. Aiden. You need Aiden. I basically do want Aiden, but Aiden would build me the bench. Aiden from Sex and City.

He would make, he would actually make it into a love seat. Oh yeah. And he'd make it out of two types of imperfect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. And how the two imperfect was then meet in the middle and they become one. That's what he did for Carrie. It's so true. And yet look what she did to him. Well, they're back together. Aren't they sort of, are they? Aren't they? We don't know yet. Anyway, the plaque hadn't thought of that. Good call.

Good call. So what were you going to get carved? Just his name? I guess. Well, I hadn't really gone that far. You'd gone quite far. You've gone quite far. I mean, I can't ever do something nice without there being a morbid undertone because that

just seems to be how I roll. So, you know, it couldn't just be like the bench. But the thing is people do Memorial benches in parks so that other people can sort of think of their memory, like in memory of, yeah. And then people sit on the bench and they see the plaque. I have seen it has crossed my life. That's how, that's how they work. And then you sort of read it and it's like, you know, a message from the husband or the wife and it's like such a sweet thing. And then you have a moment for this older couple that are no longer together. And, and it's a lovely moment for a stranger.

It's like a moment of humanity, isn't it? A drop of humanity in the ocean. That's what it is. Yeah. But you're putting it in your garden. Yeah. Why don't you put it in the woods where he loved being? I don't think that you can just randomly drop a bench in the woods.

I think that's fly tipping. Also you have got garden furniture. You could just move it to the back in the afternoon. I mean we moved your garden furniture. Do me a favor. What do you mean do me a favor? We moved your garden furniture yesterday. It took about 12 seconds and it wasn't remotely heavy. Although I have to

say not the glass table, just the chair. They've got stools. And also yesterday when we were putting the glass on the table, you're like, I need help. Okay. And you lifted this glass up as if it was about four tons. It wasn't heavy. And I'm thinking, why is she like with the huffing and the puffing? Because I don't lift stuff. It wasn't it was like lifting like no more than a light shopping bag. All right. Incredible Hulk. I'm just saying your garden furniture is not particularly heavy. You can put it at the back. I don't want to. I want a bench. Okay. I want a bench. All right. You can have a bench. Have a bench. Yeah. I'm having one. Where'd you get benches from? The garden center of. Is that why you went yesterday for work? I've already had my eye on one and I just went to check that it was

still there and it is. How much are benches? And it rocks. Let me just say. It rocks! Yeah, it's a rocking bench. Well, Ollie was a bit not so sure about it. He was like, but what if you don't want to rock? What if you want to stay still? I was like, well, it's not very rocky. It's a very mild rock. I have tested it. He was like, I'm sure it's fine. I trust you. How much are benches? Well, they range. I can't imagine a rocking bench is very cheap. I reckon it's at least 500 quid. No, they range from like 100 quid up to about 300 quid, depending on the wood and the size. They're not that expensive. I mean, I'm not taking the piss.

I'm a bit bemused by the whole thing. Listen, I get it that it is not for you to want to sit on a bench in the back of your garden with a cup of tea in the late afternoon, but it is for me. Have you seen what's at the back of my garden? It's a large egg chair. It's like a hammer. I've never seen anyone sit in it. Doesn't anyone sit in it? Has anyone? Yeah. Do you sit in it? I don't like the way you said egg chair. That's actually the official name of that. It was the tone in which you said egg chair. It had a hint of judgment with an undertone of dislike. I like an egg chair. And actually, when Aldi had the egg chair in stock, I was scouting

that every half an hour on the website and the second it came in it was out gone again because they are very expensive and the Aldi one was about 100 quid. Well I don't need one because I've got one. But you know garden furniture. I didn't take the piss did I? You didn't but I can tell you're not really feeling it but it's okay. You know thanks for the plaque idea because that actually is a very good not really feeling it, but it's okay. Thanks for the plaque idea because that actually is a very good idea. You are welcome. And it's also not my vibe to sit at the back of my garden with a cup of tea and just stop for five minutes because if I was going to do that, I could do that with my own egg chair. I could lend you my egg chair. I don't know how you would

manage to do that. Maybe you could just carry it over because it's not that heavy. Yeah, it's heavier than the glass. Yeah. I have to say that I realized something quite profound this week. Oh yeah. I realized that I was a fully grown adult. You've just realized that this week? I did like proper adulting. Okay. Let's hear it.

And this woman pulled out of a, of a turning and she didn't see me as she went straight into the side of my car. Ouch. Wasn't amazing. She's done a lot of damage to my car and her car. Yeah. Anyway, I got out. I was fucked off because I was on my way to play paddle and I didn't want to miss my call. These calls are so hard to come by that if you miss that, it's just annoying. Right? Anyway, so I was obviously had to stop and the damage she'd like bashed in the whole side of my car and she's like, are you all right? Like, well, not really. You just driven into my car. She's like, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you. Anyway, she was young, I would say she was in her late 20s. And she was so upset and in such a terrible state of shock that what she done,

she basically just burst into tears. Oh, she's like, Is there anyone else in the car? I'm just so sorry. I'm just so sorry. Are you okay? And I'm like, Are you okay? I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm not hurt. I just I don't know what to do. And just, she just bawled her eyes out. So I thought, okay, well I'm supposed to be pissed off here. And didn't your dad always teach you like in an accident, like never admit to fall, never say sorry, never do anything, just always get all the details, get all the details, stay very stern and never admit to anything. Well, listen, it was categorically not my fault. Anyway, this poor woman, the young woman was in floods of tears. I had to give her a hug. I had to give her a hug.

And I was like talking her down from the bloody ledge. Let me tell you. And I just thought to myself, that is such a grown up thing to do. Like I had to be the adult in this situation. I was a proper adult. Well done. I calmed her down. I told her it doesn't matter. It's only metal, which it is. I mean, she has bashed my fucking car up. I've seen it is a bit of a mess. And then I went to get an estimate on it today for the insurance. And he was like this and every five seconds he was like, Oh, look what she's done. Oh God. Look at the wheel. And oh, and then he opened the doors. Oh my God. And I don't even know what I'm going to find when I take

that panel off. And I was like, is this fixable? He's like, Oh yeah. But you know, I said, well, how long is it going to take us? Oh, I couldn't say. Like any, any idea. Yeah. By Christmas. I said, is it going to take a few weeks? Oh yeah, at least. Oh dear. So you got no car. I have got a car. Oh, you got a courtesy car.

I haven't got the courtesy car yet. Oh. They were just giving you a rough estimate. Which he didn't. Very rough by the sounds of it. And he didn't even give me a time frame. Anyway, it's booked in for next week. Okay.

Well, I wish it better. Thanks. Well done for adulting. Thanks. I really adulted. She really needed a hug. That poor girl. And I was thinking like, if that was my daughter, what would I want the stranger to do? You would want the stranger to be kind. You would. You don't need like verbal abuse at 20 to seven in the morning. She didn't mean it. It was an accident. And at the end of the day, it is only a bloody car. As long as both of us didn't have whiplash and nothing, you know, what difference does it make? I once was in the waitress car park of a weekend morning alone and I was on a weekend morning.

Yeah. Weird way to say a sentence. It was the morning and it was the weekend. It was a weekend morning and I was unpacking the shopping into the boot and I hadn't put the break. It's the weekend morning remotely relevant to this. No. And I hadn't put the break on the trolley and the trolley rolled. There's breaks on trolleys. Yeah. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Okay. Never put a break on the trolley. Never will. Got to tell you. You will after this. I didn't put the brake on the trolley and the trolley

rolled not at great speed, but it did roll across the car park a little bit into another car into a car. Anyway, this guy got out. Can I just, can I just stop you? Yeah. Right. For one second. Yeah. I know you're going to say he was very abusive. That's where we're going with this on the weekend morning. Yeah. Are you actually comparing your wageros trolley brushing up against somebody else's car versus my horrible, horrible car accident and my brand new car is completely smashed up. Is this what we're doing? Yeah. And I'll tell you why. Because he was really abused because this guy got out the car and like went for my fucking throat. That's my car. That's my new car. Fucking broken. Did it scratch it? I mean, it was

maybe a two centimeter mark. It was nothing. Unless you're looking with a microscope nothing anyway what did you say i was like i'm really sorry it was honestly an accident we exchanged numbers you exchanged numbers yes this guy started texting me like quite abusive text at six o'clock every morning for a week. When? When was this? Quite a few years ago until I basically paid him the money for the scratch. How much did you have to pay him? I can't remember. Oh, he got a... Oh no, I'll tell you what happened. I'll tell you what happened.

He said, I've taken the car to my mate in the garage and he's told me it's going to be £450 to replace it. So I want the money transfer. And I was like, well, I haven't actually seen a quote from your guy or a photo of the garage. I said, so perhaps you could supply me with a photo. I did take photos, some evidence, the quote from the garage and then I will speak to the garage and I'll sort it out. Never heard from him again. After that. So I never paid him. What a horrible, horrible, horrible man. So why I'm comparing it to your story is because I did really nothing and I got abused for a week and this girl smashed the crap out of your car and got a hug. So there you go. But just before we get on with the dilemmas, a quick disclaimer, we're not doctors, we're not health care professionals, we're not car mechanics,

we're not bench carvers, we don't make plaques. I don't think that's the thing. I don't actually think that's a draw. It might be. It might be a subsect of carpentry. I don't know. I reckon like a tattoo artist could dopentry. I don't know. I reckon like a tattoo artist could do it. Maybe. Do you know any? No. Okay. We're just middle

aged women answering your questions in a studio in London. Yeah. Of a weekend morning. That was the weirdest sentence I've ever heard you say. It's not a weekend morning. Yeah. Anyway, we could be totally wrong. So if there is an issue that you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Hi Lauren. Hi Nicole. I have a silly work dilemma and I was wondering what your advice would be. I work in a care home that supports people with mental health issues. I love my job, but as you can imagine, there are tough shifts to deal with. So here comes my ridiculous dilemma. On a few occasions, I've offered

lift home to a couple of work colleagues. They live in the total opposite direction of where I live and adds at least an extra 30 plus minutes to my journey home. The issue is they are now expecting me to take them home every time. They don't even ask me anymore. They assume that I'm happy to do it and it's driving me mad. I admit I am a yes person. I find it very difficult to just say no without a good reason. But at the end of a shift, my social battery is dead and I need to get home to de-stress ASAP. I suffer with clinical depression and having just got through a very bad period of time my mental health is a priority for me. Yes, yes! I'm also on a tight budget and this costs me extra

petrol and they have never offered me a penny towards it. I know that the answer is to just tell them that I can't do it but I am a blooming wimp and I really struggle. Any thoughts? Love the show, literally laugh out loud, listening to you guys and I tell anyone I know to listen in, you've gotten me through some tough times. Oh. Well, firstly, thank you for your kind words and thank you for writing in.

There's something that Brene Brown always says. Yes. A moment of discomfort is better than six months of resentment or whatever it is. So a moment of discomfort is better than six months of resentment or whatever it is. So a moment of discomfort, which is in the telling saying, sorry, I can't is better than you then resenting them resenting yourself for such a long period of time and then having to do the thing that you don't want to do. Yeah. Because it is only going to be a moment of discomfort. And it is fair enough if you A don't have time and B don't want to. And you could just say, I'm sorry, I can't today.

But they're not even asking anymore. It's basically become a habit. They leave the shift and they just walk to the car with her, don't they? And they expect the lift home. I don't think there is any other way around it than putting your big boy pants on and saying and just being really brave and really uncomfortable and saying I can't take you home I don't have time I've got to get back and it's half an hour out of my way. And the other thing is as she says they are all care workers in a home for people with mental health issues so I think it is fair enough to be able to she doesn't have to say to them you know I've got my

own stuff going on and I, this is a very stressful job, as you know, because you do it too and I need to go home and decompress. But I am going to just make an assumption that they are caring, thoughtful, understanding human beings because of the job that they all do. So it would be easier to have this kind of difficult conversation with them than it would be maybe with other people. In IT, for example. In IT. Well, you know, they're in a caring job.

Well, we're gonna get trolled now with people that are in IT. Sorry IT people, I'm sure you're delightful. Yeah, she's generalizing, it was only a joke. Yeah, don't troll us for that IT people. The thing is the IT people can troll us like properly because they're in IT. So that was like a really bad thing to pick. They could like hack us. They could like create bots.

Oh they could do anything. Please don't. Their trolling could be worse than anybody's. Why did you pick the people in IT? It was such an error anyway. Listen, I think it is okay to say that I understand that it is really uncomfortable and really awkward. I just don't know if there's any other way around it. Also don't you and I always say like you don't have to say more than is necessary. So you don't have to give them all the answers of I really can't afford the petrol. It's also adding 30 minutes onto my journey. I'm also not feeling great in myself at the moment. So I'm feeling stressed and I need to get home. You can just say, I'm really sorry. I'm not able to give you a lift this week. I wouldn't even say I'm really sorry. I think you have to be very careful in the language.

What would you say if I just rock up at your passenger door? Well, no, I would front foot it at the beginning of the day. So you don't have to stress about it the whole time. Oh, that's a good idea. And say, I can't take you back tonight. I've got to get home. It's really, really simple. It's not rude. It's just direct. It's clear. I can't take you home today. I haven't got time. The problem is you're then going to have to have the problem the next time and then the next time and the next time. So I think the boundary is just going to need to be put up or you could just make a joke out of it and say, Oh, I was only offering that one time. It seems to become a bit of a habit, but actually I can't go 30 minutes

out of my way. Sorry. Yeah. Well, I've said sorry again. Well, you could say, listen on the Monday morning, listen, I'm not able to do any lifts this week. I've said sorry again. Well, you could say, listen, on the Monday morning, listen, I'm not able to do any lifts this week. It's a busy week for me. And then maybe by the Friday, it's the habits kind of dropped a bit by Monday, they might not ask anymore. And yeah, you know, maybe if it's a dark, cold, rainy night, and you really feel like it and you have got the bandwidth fine. I don't think so because they seem to then, she then gets herself into a situation that she can't seem to get herself out of. I think that's very good advice. Front footed first thing in the morning.

Definitely don't wait till they're rocking up to your car with you because then it's really awkward. And also it gives them a chance to figure out how they're going to get home. So it's the kind of thing to do for them. Although as adults, they already should be figuring out how they're gonna get home. So it's the kind of thing to do for them. Although as adults, they already should be figuring out how to get home from their own job. They have. It's with her.

With her car. So the weather's warmer. It is, we're in t-shirts. We are, and we walked to the studio without coats or anything. So the weather's warmer. It is. We're in t-shirts. We are. And we walked to the studio without coats or anything. It was great. And on Sunday morning, I was so excited that the weather was warmer, that Lily Rose had a friend over and I was doing the washing.

Of course. Of course. On a Sunday morning. What else would I be doing? Of a weekend morning. You could have added it in there and that would have actually been fine. Oh, I totally missed the opportunity, but it's still a weird sentence. Okay. Anyway, I was doing the washing of a weekend morning. Yeah. How's that? Great. The weather was, the sun was shining. Yeah. Um, and I was so excited to get out my portable washing line, the one on wheels and put it in the garden. And I think the words were, Oh, I can get the washing line out and put

it in the garden. Did you hear yourself say it? I didn't until the two 14 year olds sat in the kitchen, looked at me and just burst out laughing. Like you are the most tragic person to ever have lived. And I basically turn around to them and said, am I like totally tragic? They were like, yeah. And I said, this is what happens when you get to your late 40s. You get excited about this shit. And then they just looked at me like that's never going to happen to me. And I thought, well, it is. It is. You think it won't, but it will. and I thought, well, it is. It is. You think it won't, but it will. I had a similar, very short moment of that this morning, which really caught me by surprise. Josh, because it's the summer term, they play cricket and they do it in cricket whites. And

obviously they play on the grass. So you get the white, the white trousers with the bright green grass stains on the knees on the knees. I was by the washing machine putting on the vanish spray and like soaking the stains and thinking to myself momentarily there is a part of me that's really enjoying this and putting like the glow bright in the washing machine and thinking like I can't wait for them to come out and they're going to be like clean and then I thought oh my god oh my god happened to me? I think I used to be cool. And you know, you know, you never see it coming. You never see it coming. What has happened? If someone had said to me when I was in my 20s, one morning, one weekday morning,

one weekend morning, one morning of a weekend. Was it one morning on a weekend? No, what was the weird sentence? One weekday morning. One weekend morning. One morning you're going to be in a laundry room with vanished spray, feeling quite happy. I mean, what would I have done? You can't run away from your future, but I would

have tried. I'm sorry to tell you, I think that's also happened to you in your thirties. For me, it's new. I'm just saying. I've only just started to relate to it. For you, I feel like this has been around for a long, long time. Would you agree? I'd say it's gone worse. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Oh my God. I know. Oh my God. I know. That combined with the bench. Oh my God. Yeah. The bench, and then I was gonna give my example, which I can't even

fucking remember what I said in the first segment. What did I even talk about? What did I even talk about? Hold on. Don't tell me. I mean, to say I've drawn a blank. I don't know what I talked about. Oh, the car accident. Well done. Thanks. Should we get on to our second question? Yeah. I'm interested to know your opinion on this. Hi ladies. I wanted to know if you two would be offended by this situation that happened to me on the weekend. She doesn't specify if it's the morning. We hosted my friend, her husband and their two kids on Sunday. The weather was great so we agreed in advance to picky bits in the garden.

Picky bits. Picky bits in the garden. I love picky bits in the garden. Yeah. I served mini sausages, mini pizzas, chips, chicken nuggets, and some Chinese starter spring roll type things all from Iceland. Sorry, is this for the kids or for everyone? I think for everyone. Right. Okay. I could tell my friend's daughter wasn't very happy when she saw the spread and she pulled a yuck face to my friend when she tried something. My friend also didn't eat and when she thought I was out of earshot

I heard her say, I know it's not very nice, don't worry we'll stop at Nando's on the way back because I'm hungry too. When she came inside I said, sorry if you don't like the food and she said that they would have just eaten before if they'd known what it was going to be. I feel like she's being really snobby and ungrateful. It's not like Nando's chips are any better or any healthier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I was going to say first of all, before you threw the Nando's curveball in, I was going to say, you know what, I like to eat healthy and so if I was going somewhere somewhere was it for dinner?

No it was like a tea lunch I think she just said Sunday afternoon. So it's like a tea it's not really a meal it's a non-meal. What's going on James? We never like you sneaking in we always like you to be part of the show, James. Hi James. He's a bit moody today. I asked him if he wanted a hug. He was very clear that he didn't. In fact, I don't have time. I don't have time for hugs today. It's not going to take that long, James. We weren't going to like hold you. I wasn't going to caress you.

I was only offering. We weren't going to hold you. I wasn't gonna crack your back. I was only offering weren't gonna rock a bye baby. Yeah. 15 minutes fucking hell. Anyway, he then said no, well, I still don't have time. Okay, I'll send you one. He's like, what? Send me what? I'm like, you know what? Don't worry about it. Never mind. He said people are taking chunks out of him today. He said, well, we're just getting on with our business. Aren't we said people are taking chunks out of him today. He said, well, we're just getting on with our business. Aren't we? Are we taking chunks out? I don't think so. I think he thinks we always take chunks out of him. It's only because we love him. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you like to eat healthy. Yes. This is I think it's love. This would

have. This would have been a problematic spread for me too, but I certainly wouldn't have mauled things or said anything to my kids or I would have kept it totally to myself. And that was the end of it. That's what she wants to put out. I'm sure she did it very nicely. It's just not the kind of food that I like to eat. But then when you said they're going to go to Nando's after, okay, so it's not a healthy thing. What difference does it make? It's rude. I think first off, I would like to say you are not being in any way unreasonable. And I would also be quite offended. It is snobby and it is rude. But does she know? I want to know. Does she know if she does the friend know that she heard her say it? Well, she did say I'm sorry if you don't like the food when she came inside. So she must know that something she saw.

Well, I mean, she's lucky that that's all you said, because you could have said something like, you know what, your attitude isn't particularly polite and I've gone to a lot of trouble. And if you don't like it, then. But now can we move on to the much more interesting conversation of picky bits in the garden. I do feel having looked at this list of food there are some gaping errors here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not saying she wasn't, she was very rude and she was very ungrateful but if you're going to Iceland where is the prawn ring? Where is it? It's a big ring of prawns with mayo in the middle. Delicious. Why have you missed that out? If it's good enough for Caricatona, it's good enough for you. Plus, what is picky bits in the garden without cucumber and carrot sticks?

They are an absolute must have. Surely. And a bit of fruit. Yeah. And a bit of fruit. Cut up an of fruit cut up an apple shove out some strawberries yeah right and for me i know not for you but for me gotta have a bowl of olives oh bowl of olives and let me tell you what is missing from all of this that would have just brought the whole piggy bits in the garden together and no one would complain a grazing table no crisps A grazing table. No. Crisps. A grazing table. Crisps. A grazing table. She doesn't want to do a grazing table. She wants to pop to Iceland and put out some picky bits in the garden

and relax. Let me tell you something. Back to the grazing table. The grazing table is the easiest thing to do in the whole wide world because if you'd have just thrown some crisps, thrown some grapes, thrown some pizza bits, thrown some chicken nuggets, whatever she threw, you throw it all on a grazing table. I promise you, everyone's eating that shit. Yeah. I'm sorry, but when you say to me, picky bits in the garden,

I can't imagine it without the carrots and the cucumber sticks. There are children, therefore, there are carrots and cucumber sticks. Even without the jar there? I love carrots and cucumber sticks with a bit of hummus. Never been happier with that. But how isn't that on a picky bits in the garden table?

This is not about what was on the table. For me it is. No it isn't. I'm in agreement with everything else. I'm in agreement with her a hundred percent, but I'm sorry her picky bits in the garden spread. It needs a little bit of refinement. It does. Get it all from Iceland, but also get a fucking cucumber from Iceland. I won't get cucumber from Iceland. Excuse me, you can get fresh food from Iceland, but also get a fucking cucumber from Iceland. I can't get cucumber from Iceland. Excuse me, you can get fresh fruit in Iceland.

This isn't about what was on the table for the pickabits. It isn't. It isn't. It isn't. And I think it's unfair. And we have both picked its pieces because I said I wouldn't want that spread either. And I wouldn't want to eat like that. But it's not about that. It's about how rude her friend was and what's she going to do about her friend. I would not be able to let that go. That friend would

not get a fucking invite back to my house. She can go fuck herself and because she can listen, I've got my period. I can be a little bit more aggressive today. And also, and also I've completely lost my train of thought because I might have my period like a cool 20 something, but I'm actually 48. And my brain fog is on fire today. I don't know, but I'm still angry about it. Whatever it is. She's not your friend. What the fuck was I going to say? You were saying she can go fuck herself and also, and then you forgot because I got so angry.

She can go fuck herself. I've got my period. Then you forgot. She can go fuck herself. It was really good. Well, anyway, I agree. She's, that is really, just dropped out of my head. Interesting. Is it? Is it interesting? Dropped out of my head. Oh dear. She can go fuck herself though. That's not okay. It's very, very, very, she wouldn't get an invite back. It's very, very good. I know what it was. Okay. Also, because I named myself and crowned myself hostess with the mostess hostess of the year. Universe. I think it was really 2025 hostess of the universe is all I said. Wow. I really went for it. Um, my God, Stop distracting me. It doesn't matter. Okay. Doesn't matter. The friend's wrong. The friend is wrong. And this

lovely woman has gone to, you know, every, everyone hostesses in a different way. Okay. You and I pride ourselves on our hostessing skills. Not everybody. Everyone just, you don't know how busy she is. She could have been working that whole morning then ran to Iceland and just picked up whatever she could grab and stuck it on the table. And you know, even that was like a bit of an ask because she had so much going on that morning. You don't know. Don't know. So we shouldn't judge. But you know, the friend is an asshole. The friend is an asshole but also teaching her daughter to be an asshole. Agreed. But also please don't

invite me to your garden. You can literally give me a glass of wine and just some crisps and I'll be so happy. You know, like that's it. That's all I need. You know, any crisps but not cheese and onion. We've got it. Yeah, we've got it. OK, I'm going to give you crisps for lunch. How do you feel about that? I've actually had lunch already, but I would be so funny. You've had lunch already. What do you mean?

What do you mean? What do I mean? I mean, what do you mean? I had lunch already. Why? Because it was lunchtime and I was hungry. And it wasn't 12 o'clock. That's not lunchtime. That is not lunchtime. It is if you're two and a half. It is if you're two and a half but you happen to be 47. Why have you had lunch so early?

We're supposed to have lunch together. I was... Where's that rule come from? I was hungry. I'll tell you the thought process. I was hungry. I knew that we were starting recording in the studio at half past 12 and I thought by half past one I'll be a bit over hungry and not able to do my show very well. So I'll have a little bit of lunch and then I'll feel you know like I've eaten in my brain works and everything else. What did you have? I had some leftover salmon that I had made last night and some broccoli that was in the fridge. I made a whole chicken thing last night just with some roasted vegetables, some chicken

breasts, some onion and peppers and tomatoes and I just stuck it in the air fryer, put some seasoning on it was delicious, had that for my dinner and there was loads left over and I thought oh Lauren and I can have this and I'll make it up into a salad. I'll put pomegranate seeds on seeds. It will be a whole gorgeous like roasted vegetables slash chicken salad. Oh, now I'm having it on my own, but you could just give me a glass of wine and some crisps. You're not going to have a glass of wine at two o'clock in the afternoon, are you? What, on a Tuesday? Oh, what would happen? The wine, please come. What do you mean what would happen?

Would the weekday wine please come? You're not supposed to be drinking. Why? You said, you said you weren't drinking. What do you mean I'm not supposed to be? You said, you said, you said it on this show. Oh, I don't drink anymore. I've basically given up drinking, you said.

I basically started again. We got sent some mixes from Fiji. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm I don't drink anymore. I've basically given up drinking. You said basically started again. We got sent some mixes from fever tree. Yeah, sponsoring. Yes. They looked amazing. That limey margarita. Margaritas and home mojitos. And basically, I thought I'm going to test this out. So I said to only right. It doesn't stop your hangover. You said you felt dreadful in the mornings. I'm feeling okay now. But as the advert that I wrote says you can like make a whole cocktail doesn't feel like you made a cocktail because the mix is made for you. I was like,

listen, you can make me a margarita. All you got to do is pour it and add that and put some ice in and make me a spicy margarita. And was like okay is it spicy no i bought the special tajin that goes around the rim so i was like go on even you know it's like two-step process put an ice cube in it done so i had one i was like has to be so he was like i don't i don't understand how do you put the salt or the sugar on the thing on the rim i was like you wet the rim of the glass and with some lime up wet it with some lime. And just put it upside down. He couldn't. I did that. It was great. It was not really a two step process is it? It's like you with the piggy bits. You haven't got to like do the limes and then you

just pour, pour. No and then you've got to wet. You've got to do that first. Oh yeah you do. You know what I especially like in a bar when they do it on one side? Yes. I love it when it's on one side. Because then you get. Yeah. Yeah. You can pick.

But what I'm saying was that was like Sunday night. I can't remember what night it was, but it was definitely not a drinking night. But I was like, I'm going to have a margarita. It's here. It wasn't two o'clock on a Tuesday though. It wasn't, but I'm not going to have a Margarita. It's here. It wasn't two o'clock on a Tuesday though. It wasn't, but I'm not going to be. If you, if you started opening some wine at two o'clock on a Tuesday, I would be concerned. I would once as a one-off. Would you be phoning? Well, it was not a one-off because we went out for lunch last week and you had a glass of wine

and that was like, get me a sponsor. That was like one o'clock on a Wednesday. I'm just saying. Yeah. That was day drinking. That was medicinal. If day drinking, if day drinking becomes a bit of a habit, then that is going to be a problem, isn't it? Well, it is, but it's not. So it's okay. Well, it is. If we go home and I have to give you Christmas and a glass of wine, I've also got the mixers. You can ask for a margarita now to a Tuesday. That is too early. Although it's sunny Just Rosie will be fine Listen, I'm gonna keep an eye on this. Okay. Well, I will keep a close eye if it's over weekend morning Of a weekend morning. Of a weekend morning? No. Morning drinking.

Listen, I was being facetious to try and get the joke in. After 11am actually that's okay. Which you've missed. No, it's okay. Don't worry. I'm not an alcoholic. I know. If I am I'll let you know. I just thought you'd stopped. I've started again.

Okay. Well, if you could tell me these things like, you know, when you're drinking and when you're having lunch. And then I bumped into Ollie, right? I bumped into Ollie on Saturday at the David Lloyd and he sits down with me and my dad and we're having a coffee and it's all very nice. Normally when Ollie speaks, I know every single thing that's coming out of his mouth because I speak to you 1200 times a day. Do you pretend that you don't know? No, no, I can't. You don't even do that social nice to you. Like, oh. Do you pretend that you don't know? No. No I can't. You don't

even do that social nice to you. Like oh really? Did you go for dinner there? No. I didn't know that. You're like she told me. I know. Yeah. Yeah. She had the fish. Yeah it was a very nice. Then you didn't like the dessert. Yeah. Right that's fun. Yeah not for Ollie. No. It's fun for me. Yeah. Anyway he said, I asked Lauren to come here. He wasn't playing tennis because of his injury, which I knew about. And so then he came to have a swim and go to the gym and he couldn't be bothered to go to the gym. So he kept sitting down and talking to us and he was totally procrastinating about the fact that he had to go and work out. And I kept going, Ollie, he's like, I know, but

I don't want to go. And he said, Oh, I did ask Lauren to come, but she had a GP appointment. I said, what do you mean she had a GP appointment? I don't know about any GP appointment. And then he looked at me like I was being weird. I don't, I didn't know what time she had lunch. And it was a Tuesday and she had a drink and she booked a GP appointment. I need the info. I need it. So I said, what do you mean a GP a boy? But he goes, I don't know. She just had a Jeep like a call with the GP. I'm like, well about what he's like, well, I don't really know. And then I, and then he didn't know. And then, well, I'm not going to, you know, announce it. Am I? It wasn't rude. I'm just saying I didn't

know. You didn't know. I didn't know. Okay. Did I? You know, now that so much shit has dropped out my head this, in this particular episode, I might have known. It wasn't that scintillating or embarrassing or rude. Now I feel like I'm making it out like I've gone with like some gentle warts or something. She's gone to discuss her drinking problem. Yeah. Anyway, he didn't get it. He didn't get it. Like when I said, I didn't know about the GP appointment,

he just looked at me very blankly, like, why would you know? It's like, why wouldn't I? Like looking at each other, having this whole non-conversation. I think he does assume that basically every time I breathe, you're aware. I don't think he thinks that anything goes on in or outside the house that you're not privy to. He just naturally assumes you know. Great. Yeah. So it's fine. Well, as it turns out, I don't. I didn't know you'd stopped drinking and I didn't know about

the GP appointment and I also didn't know you'd had lunch. So let me just say, we're on a slippery slope. You're how shit goes down. Right. I'll put all my, I'll log all my meals in our shared Google calendar in the future. And if I have a drink, I'll note it. And then you can tally it at the end of the week. And you can tell me if I've got a drinking problem or not. Okay. Great. How does that sound to you?

That sounds awful. Anyway, I think that's our show this week. Should we just sign off? Let's sign off. Let's sign off. Lauren needs a drink. She's had lunch, but I need to eat. We will be back on Tuesday with an unfiltered where we can discuss your feedback. Please keep your feedback coming in. We absolutely love it. Please keep your dilemmas coming in. Hello at 40ish.co dot UK. That is correct. You always think it's not, but it is. Because it feels so short.

It's correct though. I know. Hello at 40 ish dot co dot UK. It's a great email address. I know. We're so lucky. We're so lucky. We never felt luckier. We also pay for it. We do. We'll be back on Tuesday. Have a great weekend everybody. See you then.

Welcome to Suddenly Single, the podcast where we dive deep into the wild world of love, romance and everything dating. That's right. I'm Siobhan and alongside Tim each week we're joined by celebrity guests who share their unique dating story. Whether you're navigating the ups and downs of dating sites or just looking for some love inspiration we've got you covered. Remember you're not alone when it comes to dating, sometimes it's sad, but it's always funny and that's just him on his first dates. So join us every week on Suddenly Single.