40ish - PIN Numbers, Prime Purchases and Padel

Episode Date: February 5, 2026

Today on 40ish, Lauren and Nicole debut a brand-new game: What’s the Most Middle-Aged Thing in Your Amazon Basket? Brace yourselves; there is nothing remotely sexy about it. Lauren is also celebrating a genuine midlife milestone: she remembered her PIN without having to lock her card. Growth. A listener writes in with a juicy dilemma as she weighs up her stale marriage against some unexpectedly flirty messages from an old flame, and in news that has personally offended us, Gen Z are listing items on Vinted as “Vintage Y2K.”Vintage?! We were there!  Get in touch! Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's time for Tims. Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we tackle 40-something life every week, diving into midlife, the news, your stories, your dilemmas, and bringing you our own mess and challenges of navigating midlife from the mundane to the ridiculous.

We figure out on this show, do we? Do we figure it out? We're not figuring anything out. How to survive midlife together. No, we're not, we're not doing that. But you know what? They can subscribe. Yes, they can to Apple Podcasts where you get early access,

ad free listening and bonus content across this show and self-care club. Don't say we don't, don't, don't spoil you. You can watch us, you can watch the whole thing on the YouTube now. YouTube. And Spotify. Stop it. And Spotify. You know it's not the YouTube.

I do know. And if you want to share something with us, big or small, we really, really, really, really get a kick out of hearing it. So email us hello at fortiethish.com. Or DM us on Instagram. Now in true, I've lost my words. Have you? Find them quick.

In true transparency, we've just started recording this episode. Yeah. And we're now re-recording the episode. Yeah, it was terrible. Nicole wasn't happy. Well, we... She wasn't happy with my lovely new segment called The Most Fortyish Things in your Amazon basket. Well, actually, I came up with that this morning.

We're not. We discussed it before. But it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, Man, let's try it again. Okay. Let's go through what's in our Amazon basket. I'm going to rattle on through. You ready?

Yeah. Pet Correcta Dog Spray. Yep. And the other sexy thing I bought was, you'll love this one. A laundry stain remover pen. It looks like a magic marker, but actually you just rub it on your clothes. If you're out and about and you have a little spillage, and it gets rid of the stain. Well, you carry it around with you?

Yep. You don't. Is it with you now? It's not here yet. It's coming. You bought like a travel stain from Uber. Yeah. You've bought a travel stain in your river.

Why? How much do you stain yourself? I really don't, but sometimes Olli has a little spill of something, so I think it's good to have it. You know, just get out like the cup of the shirt. Are you going to always put that in your handbag? Yeah. It's like an epipen.

It's my version of an epi pen. What? Yeah. But only when you're with Oli. They're not remotely handy. Imagine if you're on holiday. and you're in a hotel, you're away for the night, and you get a little stain, a bit of tomato sauce on a blouse,

then you can just get it out. But it does come out. A tomato sauce comes out. Not on the spot. Not right there and then. Just get the little pen out of your handbag, rub it on. I think that's really extra. Oh, I think you're going to boil that over as the day goes on.

And by tonight, you're going to be like, that is a fucking brilliant idea. By tomorrow, I'll be like, send us the link. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So moving on swiftly. What's the most fortunate thing that's happened to you this week? Well, yesterday, I'm just literally pretending none of that's just happened. Yesterday, I happened to be on a paddle court.

Surprise. What a novelty. I know, it's such a shock. So weird for you. I know, I know. I was playing with three women, obviously. And then on the court next to us, my husband was playing with three men. And we were all the husbands and the wives.

Cute. Coincidentally. How cute. You know what? It was quite cute. And then we all went for a coffee after. And I thought, that was really cute. And I thought, I feel so happy and fulfilled right now.

And then I thought, my God, it's a Sunday morning. I'm sat at the David Lloyd. I've just played a game of paddle. We're all sat together as couples. I am really, really middle-aged. You are living your best middle-aged life. Yeah. Yeah.

That's so middle-aged, isn't it? It really is. But it's quite good because it's the sort of thing that you can continue through until you're in your 80s. You can still be doing that. Exactly that. Nothing has to change about that situation. I know. But when I was 20, that would have looked a bit tragic to me. Of course it would have done. But now I'm 48, it's like, you know, one of my favourite things to do. Yeah. And there's something a bit tragic and also quite lovely about all of it, depending on which side I sit. Listen, I felt great success yesterday because I managed to read the entire Sunday Times and I mean the paper and all the supplements in one afternoon. That doesn't happen. Normally, I don't read the supplements until at least a Wednesday or Thursday and then I have a rule if they're not read by Friday morning, they go in the bin. Do you know how much a Sunday paper is now?

Do you have any idea? No. Have a guess. A paper, a newspaper. Four pounds. Four pound 50. I know, right? It's more expensive than gay.

Cales coffee. It's crazy. Yeah, but there's a lot of magazines in it. Three. I read the whole thing in one sitting. I'm just so pleased in myself. I just don't understand how we're friends. I know, but you know, if you'd ask me when I was 20,

will you get a small, middle-aged bit of joy, a bit of a buzz from having finished the papers on a Sunday in one go? All of them. Do you read every article? I don't read, for transparency, I don't read the sports section, and I really don't read business and money, because I have no interest, but I read all the other sections. Yeah, the whole thing.

It's sad. It's middle-aged. It's also something I can continue doing till I'm 80. At least I'll be informed. I don't know how I feel about that. You don't have to feel any way about it. You sat at home. How long did it take you? About an hour and a half.

Is that all? Yeah. And you sat there just reading a magazine? No, the paper in three magazines. And the travelling home section. Excuse me. Yeah. I don't read the bit about the cruises.

And I'm so pleased you picked up on that. Because that makes a big difference. Saying is, I would never, ever, ever, ever in my wildest dreams, it wouldn't even occur to me to sit down for an hour and a half and read the paper and three magazines. Never. It's quite normal.

Lots of people do do that on a Sunday. That's why they sell a lot of Sunday papers. because people like to read the paper on a Sunday. I know. It's very standard. It's very average. It's like... I would like a show of hands, please,

of how many of our listeners do that and how many don't. I would just like... I would like to just read the room. Did your parents not do that? Well, we always had Sunday papers, but I don't remember them sitting down reading them. Well, they must have done.

Otherwise... Very my family. Like, everyone in my family would get the paper every single morning, and then on the weekend, everyone would get the paper and you would sit and read the papers. My parents still get the paper. Yeah, so does my mum always.

get the paper. Yeah. We're a very like read the newspaper family. I think it's really normal. It's not my family. It just doesn't, it's not my household. No. I don't know anyone that does that.

Honestly, don't know anyone that does that. Nobody. Okay. We are like really, we've hit our stride with middle age, haven't we? Yeah, I think so. I also was debating this week. This is also very middle aged. I'm going out for dinner on Tuesday night.

Can I also go out for? dinner on Wednesday night. Or is that just too much in January? Is it just too much going out for one week? You know what I mean? Yeah, that is a lot. That is a lot. Where are you going? Have you got to go into town? Yeah, twice. I'm thinking, really, do I need that second night out? I know Traitors is finished so that is a wait off. But, you know, it is a weight off. I agree with the weight off. I thought that this morning. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so relaxed now. Maybe I was feeling a lot of tension. There was a lot of tension about having to stay up to date with Tracers because you can't really fall behind with it. No, you can't.

Otherwise, you've just got to avoid any social media. Your one scroll away from a meme that ruins everything. Yeah, so true. Maybe that's really what has helped with my state of mind is that I'm not carrying the tension of the Traders Tower with me anymore. I can just let it go. I'm watching Nightmanage and I don't really care. We finished Landman last night. How good was it?

Everyone said it was amazing. You know, the last two episodes were just amazing. Absolutely magic. I need to get on that. But it was a very slow season. But everything led up to the last two episodes. So they did come good in the end and the last episode was just magic. Okay.

And it's Billy Bob Thornton. Yeah. He's just mesmerizing on screen. Mesmerizing. He's such a good actor. I've always been in a little. amazing actor. But he is, this is the role of his life. I'm telling you. He deserves an Emmy for this. He'll probably get one, no? Did he win one? Don't know. Possibly.

Can I tell you some very exciting midlife news that I've just found out a few moments ago? Well, you shrieked in the studio. I don't think this is midlife news. It is because she's a midlife woman. All right. Prue Leith retired from Bake-off. I'm very invested in this show. Can I just say that's the second time you snapped at me in this recording I have got PMD

I mean like because a couple of days ago you were like and then I'm cool this is what PMT looks like now and now you've just snapped at me because I said magazine instead of paper

magazine yes she's a big life woman don't yuck on my yum I don't know what that means I'm very invested in Bakeoff it's like one of the highlights of the year for me so Prueleith has retired

She's 87. She's allowed. Guess who has taken over from Prue Leith on Bakeoff. It's just been announced this morning. Nigella Lawson. Nigella Lawson. I can't think of anyone. Camper, more fun, more into soggy bottoms. She is going to give that show so much new energy.

And I am so here for it. I'm very, very, very excited. It's actually making me want to apply for Bake Off more than I ever have in my life just to get to be with Nigella. And Paul in one room. My God, I'm going to have to start practicing my crem pat very soon. If you see me covered in flour for the next six months, you're going to know why. I don't know how we're friends.

I don't know how, I don't even know what a crem pat is. I don't want to know. Don't care. Don't go there. I don't want to know. How are we friends? How do we have so much fun together when we don't like doing any of the same things? Nothing.

We don't like doing any of the same things. Yet all we do is laugh. It's just the ying and the yang. It's weird though And also you might really love my bakes By the time I might get good I like your baking Yeah

I do like your baking It's not good enough for bake off though It's gonna have to really I want to really up my game If I want to do that How's your pastry coming on? Not good enough for Nigella Certainly not

I wouldn't get a Hollywood handshake for it I really need to lean into that The more this year Do you though Yeah I think I do I actually think I do Does it matter to you It actually matters to you

how good your pastry is. Yeah. Like you define yourself. What, my self-worth by my pastry. No, no, no. Not your whole self-worth, but part of. Yeah, yeah. Do you?

Yeah, yeah. I need to perfect double-crossed apple pie before the year is out. That is for sure. What will happen if you don't? I don't know. No, I'm asking, what will happen? I'd have to do it for 2027.

I'm going to have to. Can I ask a question, right? Yeah. You would actually feel a better sense of self if your pastry game was better. I would feel like I had achieved something hard. It's actually really hard. It was a skill, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. That's how I feel about a lot of paddle shots. To you, it just wouldn't even, you wouldn't give a fuck. Not a fuck. No, but I did see a really cool paddle racket in aforementioned Sunday supplements yesterday.

And I thought of you, it was leopard print. No. I thought, oh my God, I could so see you with that. There is this coach, Bushy. He is the nicest guy. And he keeps coming in with new rackets for me to try.

And every day he's coming in with a different racket, try this one. I think you're really going to like this one. And then today he came in and he's like, I know you haven't liked the last few. So I've got two for you to try. So I'm like literally swapping between rackets the whole time. And I don't, I didn't like any of them.

No. And I feel like the problem now is me. Not the rackets. A bit like with the outfits last week. Yeah. Right. And he is, when I tell you, the sweetest, kindest, most gentle soul. I barely know him. But why is he doing this? I know he wants me to buy a racket. But he's not even on commission. He's doing it because he wants me to have a racket that I love. I'm also not on commission, but I can really see you with a leopard print paddle racket. None of them are leopard print drop it. They're not, it's, it was in the magazine. No, no. A lot more goes into a racket than what it looks like. You see, already I don't care. Hit the ball, don't hit the ball,

whatever. I'd look like such a knob Would you? Would you? Yeah. And then he bought a racket the other day. I barely know this guy, but I bought, I've never even played with him.

He's too good for me. But he bought a racket the other day and she was white and bright pink. Like a bubble gum pink. Very you. And he pulled it out and he goes, this is like on the cheaper end, but give it a guy. I said, I love her.

And he laughed. he said her, I said, her pronouns are she her? This is not a non-binary racket. Yeah. Which he didn't massively get, but I thought was really funny. Do you think that him serving you different kinds of paddle rackets every day is like a really inept flirting technique? Are you going to tell me he's 87?

He's not 87. I cannot tell you how inappropriate is for you to even say that because you don't know him. I don't know him. I don't know him. I don't know him, but I'm just trying to imagine. No, stop me. He doesn't know I'm talking about him on the podcast. I don't even know.

He probably doesn't even know. I have a podcast. Because if I was trying to flirt with you as a middle-aged man. Stop it. That's what I would do. He's not, he is. Hey, Nicole, do you like this padderick? That's how I would try and get in your knickers.

Please. Nice. Now I've seen him every day. He's the nicest, nicest guy. Okay? Just stop. That is not, because now I'm going to be embarrassed for no reason when I see him tomorrow and he pulls out another sodding racket, which I won't like.

I bet when he pulls him out, he's thinking about which one would be best to spank you with. And I think the leopard print would be perfect for that. That is some 50 shades shit right there. Not so much as bubblegum pink. That's a bit more wholesome. This guy is like sweet and gentle natured. By day. Not by night.

God even. Don't. Don't. It's because it's not appropriate. It's not fair on him. What if someone said, I think they're talking about you on the podcast? Oh, that's okay.

And then he... Then he listens. Yeah. And then he's like going to be like, steer clear from her because she talks weird shit about everybody on the podcast. And then no one will talk to me. And then I'll be banished from my own paddle club. And then what are you going to do with me?

Because I'll be so depressed. You have to learn how to make pastry. I'll have you right where I want you in an apron. Tides my stay. Boating for flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes. Oh, what? Sounds like Ojo time Play Ojo, great idea

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Lounge is worldwide. So your experience before takeoff is a taste of what's to come. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. We have some feedback, you know, this week. Mid-aged injuries, says Katie. I have one, but I'm 33. My alarm went off and it startled me. I jumped up to turn it off and a muscle in my tummy popped out i wouldn't mind but i gym five days a week so that's put that in the bin put what in the bin going to the gym i jim she used that as a very strange sentence syntax i wouldn't mind but i jim five days a week do we say i jim is that a thing well you don't i think she says that because she's 33 so she can get away with that she can get away with the injury and that sentence i love that i love that i love that i love that i love it.

Like my joke more. You didn't like it. I did. I quite like it. Someone wanted to write in about the appointment. You know the woman who had the appointment with the bottom doctor who turned out to be her ex-boyfriend. That was terrible. The appointment with the ex-doctor.

My friend had an appointment. It turned out to be the chap from the village that we lived in. She opted not to have him perform the internal. He said it was okay to decline and he'd be okay to refer her to someone else for the best treatment. She said she didn't think she'd be able to look at him again when she was in the pub if he'd seen her downstairs. I think I would have been okay with it, but I have a kid and we all know that dignity is lost at that point. Should we get onto a dilemma? Yeah.

Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer, we're not doctors or healthcare professionals. If there is an issue you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Hi ladies, I'm 46 married for 12 years, kids mortgage the lot. I love my partner with solid, kind, best friend vibes. But the sex has quietly wandered off. Recently, a guy I knew just before things became serious with my husband got in touch by Instagram. That's never good. Nothing explicit, just nostalgic and flirty.

Nostalgia and flirty. But she's like nothing explicit, just nostalgic and flirty like as if that's okay. My problem is it's made me feel alive. Oh. I haven't crossed a physical line. I think about him more than I should I reread his messages I dress better on the days we chat

even though it's only on messenger I'm smiling at my phone like a teenager oh no part of me says this is harmless fantasy another part says I'm playing with fire and a third part thinks is this just what happens in your 40s when you realise you might never be desired like that again

Oh do I shut it down do I talk to my partner and risk blowing up a perfectly good life or do I not let it go any further but let myself have this one tiny thrilling thing in my very domestic life? Thank you. Oh. Can I ask a question?

She said, do I talk to my partner and risk blowing up a perfectly good life? If you talk to your partner, why would you be blowing up a perfectly good life? You're talking to your partner about your feeling that you're not feeling hugely fulfilled in certain areas of your marriage. I think that's a really important conversation to have. I think she means should I talk to my partner about the fact that I'm messaging with this man. No, don't do that. I think the messages are part of a much bigger issue. And I think maybe deal with the issue rather than the messages because they're just filling a void, aren't they?

But it's like with any, I know she's not having a physical affair. She sounds like she's on the verge of an emotional affair. But affairs are never really about the sex and the other person. They never come from a happy, fulfilled place, do they? No, but they're never really about that. They're always about what's lacking in your life. You've got in your life, right? I understand why she is getting this little teenage thrill from it

because it's probably taking her back to a time when she was younger and she was in this, whatever it was with this guy. And it's secretive and it's fun and it's sexy, but it's not real life. And it's definitely not healthy for her or her marriage. all her life. So what do you think she should do? Shut that shit down. Asa. And then what? And then tackle the issues with our own husband. Yeah. I mean, that's the issue, isn't it? That's the crux of all of it. Like, how can you spice things up again for you and your husband? You've probably just got a bit complacent with each other, a bit bored, and everything's just become a little bit mundane,

which it happens, but you just have to be aware of it and you have to work on it together. And also ask him how he's feeling And what's going on for him? I said to my husband the other day He's suddenly gotten into Grey's Anatomy Have he? There's like 25 seasons or however long Yeah

I feel like I've lost you to Grey's Anatomy And I feel like you're not going to speak to me again Until Grey's Anatomy finishes He literally said, okay, it's okay, I hear you I said, what I need you to do is ask me out on a date And then take me on a date And he was like, okay, got it.

But you know they can still do that And I got asked on a date and we went on the date, but he's still watching The Beast in Me. I'm like, oh my God, that show is so 2025. We all watched that in December. You're still watching it. The Beast in Me is the one with Claire Daines. Yeah. You know, he's always...

It's only a six-partter, though. Eight-parter, but he's always... Eight-parter. I've got 25 seasons. Yeah, I know. You forget it. He's always so far behind. Like, I can't talk to him about the shows because he's watching the shows like three months after I've watched the shows.

Yeah. I know in Adam's case like 25 years after the shows but you know No at least he's watching a land man with me That's good, that is good Yeah I'm I'm actually currently cheating on Ollie With Night Manager

He promised he'd start He promised he promised he promised me On the 31st of December That he was ready for the start For the start of it which was the 1st of January It is now recording date 26th of January He has not watched one episode

and I can't wait any longer. I'm binge cheating. It's not really the same as this woman on Instagram. It's exactly the same as this woman's problem. My point is you have to both work at keeping the marriage interesting and fun. A marriage is not a dead thing. Marriage doesn't end on the wedding day. It begins.

And it takes constant attention and it requires constant attention. From two people. From two people. It's a living, breathing, changing. entity. Yes. And also I think as you get to our age, as she says, does she say she's in her 40s? Yes, 46. Yeah. As you get to our age, things morph and move and change and feelings and hormones and life and everything. So you've got to change how you are, how you speak to each other, what you're doing, what you're saying, how you're being. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What a lovely speech.

Thanks. Thanks. So yeah, shut that shit down. Stop talking to this fantasy man. on Instagram. He is just a fantasy. And you know what? If you did blow up your whole life and end up with him, he'll still snore and like not watch shows with you and not let the dishwasher. You're just swapping one for another. It's not worth it. Yeah. I know you were taking the Mickey like last week about the celebrations. Yeah. But come on. Give me something you're celebrating this week. Come on. It could be small. It could be big. Okay. It's a small celebration. But I did have one. I did have one. Go on. Olly and I went to Costco. That wasn't our date. by the way. We had a date in an actual cool restaurant, but we did then go on a date to Costco.

And he got quite excited at the price of the petrol, because he hasn't actually been for many years. My dad goes on and on about the price of petrol in Costco. And he tells me about it so often. And so often I say, Dad, I've got an electric car. I don't care. My dad actually put a post on Facebook about the Costco petrol this morning. He's obviously very invested in it as well. Anyway, Olly was quite invested. So we go to the pump and you have to do your membership card and everything. And then he said to me, you put the petrol in.

And he said to me, oh, my God. It's weird because you have to put your card in. And then you have to say how much you're going to spend before you've put the petrol in the car. Oh, I didn't know that because I was just in the passenger seat. And then it's like, okay, let's say you put 30 quiddle. Then you've got to get it exactly on 30. That's so much pressure. Anyway, he said to me,

oh my God, I haven't brought a card with me. I've only got Apple Pay on my phone. Have you got a card? Luckily, I did. So I gave it to him and he said, what's the pin? What's the pin? I know all my pins. I do not.

I do not. And if I can't remember my pin, I just have to use another card. Anyway, I felt so much pressure because I thought, oh my God, the petrol is in and I've got like 10 seconds to remember the pin and I actually had to sit, take a deep breath. And I remembered the pin. That was my source.

small celebration. I didn't even tell him that I, they're like, oh my God, I remembered the pin. I just took a deep breath, said the pin. And then just in my own mind, I was like, yay. Well done, Lauren. I'll take that. I'll take that for a Sunday morning.

Thank you. Thumbs up. I don't think I have one. Really? Not one of that magnitude anyway. Try topping up. Middle age. The listeners gave us some celebrations.

Go on. Okay, there's quite a few of them. I slept through the night without needing a weed. This is a true celebratory event. That's a good one. Today, I celebrated remembering a celebrity name without saying, you know, him from that thing on ITV. In brackets, it was John Simmons.

Who's John. John Simmons is a friend of mine. No, John Simmons. No, he is. Not with a D. Yours doesn't have a D. John Simmons. is that guy who always plays a detective

who looks exactly like my friend's husband, Steve. I mean, he looks so much like him that sometimes I think, oh my God, is that thief? No, it's John Simmons. They're so similar looking. You would recognise him if you saw him. Would I? Yeah, totally.

I am celebrating my phone battery lasting longer than I did today. It's still on 14% tonight. It's not really a middle-aged celebration, but I understand it. My phone battery, like I'm now on 51%. And it's... That's not great. Yeah, it's 130. Rubbish, hey?

I'm on 61%. That's not good either. I celebrated leaving the house today and not turning back for something I had forgotten. Oh, that's a good one. I am celebrating being home from dinner at 947pm. We've got a meltdown. Oh yeah? Have you got any meltdowns?

No. Say your time. It's debating whether I can count to some meltdown or not. What is it? I'm not going to say. Come on. It's just not that interesting. Come on.

But it's really driving me mad. It doesn't have to be sexy. It's really driving me mad. Come on, tell us. Share the love. Come on. My dog really stinks. And it's really driving me mad.

Of what? I don't know. Like, it's not her breath. And then I smell like all down her body. Like I smell the bits of her to see like, what is it? It's like fishy. It's just gross. And I wash her every single day and I've even bought her dry shampoo.

And she's just stinks. You know there is a dog perfume. But I think I'm just going to be masking the fishy ocean. Has she been to the groomers? No. Send her to the groomers. She's washed every day. Send her to the groomers.

I'm worried it's like an internal problem. I would send her to the groomers. Maybe she just needs a proper wash and the hair cart and... I don't know what it is, but it's really getting me down. I hate it when my dog stinks. I can't bond with her when she stinks. But my dog's like 18 times a size of your dog. Yeah.

That's a smell. And even my dad yesterday, he was like, oh my God, I love your dog. She's the prettiest girl and I absolutely love her, but she fucking stinks. And I'm like, oh my God. You know, it's really not on brand for you to have a Smelly dog. I know. That's why it's melting, making me meltdown. Although Barker's breath wasn't

amazing, but he was very old. God, bless him. And he used to like, on my leg whenever I started eating lunch. I would pay thousands to smell that breath again. That terrible breath. The hot breath on my thighs at lunch. Oh, I just love his hot breath. Anyway, this one, she doesn't have hot breath. She's just got baby breath, but she stinks. I don't want to be smelly dog. I think you should, I think you should book her into the groomers. I feel like, Phoebe from friends. Like, I really do, I'm getting that smelly cat vibe. Like, really. It's not on brand for me. No, it's not. No. No. She's going to the vet this week, so I might discuss it with the vet. It might be like an anal glands issue. It might be.

Yeah, in which case that's fixable. And that would be great. I think that was, that was a good one. Was it? Yeah. It doesn't feel good. It feels terrible. No, I'm sorry about that. Yeah. I don't really have one. I mean, well, I can't drink alcohol. whole. Oh. But that's not new. No, that is old news. I had half a glass of wine on Saturday night. Half a glass because it was a wine that I really love. It was a son-sere.

And it's a really good wine. Yeah. And when I tell you, I woke up with a hangover. I'm not exaggerate. I have not had a drink since Thailand, not one drink. So, what is that four weeks now? Yeah. Yeah. No, less than four weeks.

But I've also cut down so much. I mean, so much. I'm barely, barely drinking. And I had one cocktail with tequila on it on Friday. I thought shocking on the afternoon. And it really annoyed me. Yeah, it really annoyed me. The next time I'll be drinking will be at your mitzvah.

And that's fine because the next day I just won't be doing anything. I have to write the day off. You will have to write the day off. No, I'm going to. We're both going to be drinking. And James. And suffering. James is going to get drunk.

He's already told me. What meltdown have we got from the listeners today? It's from Joe. Yeah. She said, Dickheads are labelling items on vintage, vintage Y2K. Vintage, question mark, they can all just fuck off. Yeah.

Y2K is now considered vintage. Yeah. So we're now considered vintage. Have you not seen the thing on Instagram? I don't know how they've, like, cut together this video where they talk to different people and they say, what year were you born? and if they say 19 and then they just cut the video to someone else

because if you're born in 19 anything you're old but I feel like when someone says what year were you born 2000 I'm like you're still in a buggy you're in a buggy but it's the same principle isn't it even though I know the year 2000

they are now 26 years old they're not they're in a buggy yeah I completely agree so you're automatically not really listening no because whatever Whatever starts with the 2000. You're not interested. You're not a human being yet.

You're not. I don't feel like we're old. I don't. I've been to a funeral this weekend and, you know, he was 88. And then someone else passed away. He was 99. Like, we are not old. That is old.

So is 88. It's quite old. But like, we've got a lot of life in us. I tell you what does make me feel old. When you have to put your birthday in online and then you have to scroll back for the year. And I find now like I'm scrolling for quite a long. time. I'm like, oh shit. Yeah. That's not good. And also, I'm going to be out of the 45 to 50 range soon. I'm not into that.

Oh, no, that's bad. Yeah. I don't even like being in the over 45 range. Not really. Who does? No. And I always want to lie. I'm like, but I'm only lying to myself. And then I always have to give myself a pet talk like, it's okay. It's you are where you are in life and you should feel it's a privilege to get older, all that shit. Yeah, all of that shit. It is a privilege to get older. But it is annoying that this stuff is vintage because I've still got some of it in my wardrobe. No, you have not. I must do.

I must have stuff in my wardrobe still. I have. I have. I've got a Zara dress that I wore for a very special party in the year 2001 and I've still got it in my wardrobe. It still fits. I tried it on the other day. I wouldn't wear it now because it's very dated.

Is it very dated? It kind of is. But also I could see someone who's 20, two wearing it. Yeah, but they do it in like an ironic way. Wouldn't even be ironic, it would be like a vintagey kind of way. Yeah, but they do it for like in these parties like, Y2K party, that's how they do it.

But I've kept it because it was a special night. Well, you showed me a hairstyle that you wanted for this per mitzvah. Oh yeah. You showed it to me. And I was showing, I was sending you all these photos and then you sent one to me. And it was like, why are you showing me this? Yeah. It was of you.

Yeah. And you were like, because that. That's the hairstyle that I had for Max's Bermitza. Yeah. And I really liked it. Well, Max is about to be 22. So like nine years ago.

Yeah. No. You're like, oh, I like that. Like, no. That's not, it wasn't, it's not, no. Not vintage. We moved away from that. Just checking in on that.

Because I know we've sorted the bra. We've moved, we haven't moved away, have we? No. No. No, no. No, no. Do you want to come and do my hair? Because at this point, that is what's happening.

No I'll wear a shower cap No I'll wear a hat I'll shave my head You can't I'm gonna wear a scrunchy It was a bit boof

I'm gonna wear That Diomonte hair clip The hair claw That you took the piss out of When did I say the piss out of I'm like oh what that Dimonte hair claw That's very not you

It isn't you I'm just gonna put it in that No you not because I will come into that party I will yank that shit out of your head like, you don't hang that. You wouldn't. You wouldn't.

I'm going to wear like a Charlotte York type big Alice band velvet. Oh. You are taking the piss but a friend of mine you have spies told me that they saw you and you were wearing a very big hairband.

And I said that doesn't sound right. They're like, no, no, she had a big hairband on. What, out and about? Like a shirt. Charlotte York hairband. Out and about? Yes. Yes.

And I thought... No, I don't think that was me. Yes, it was you. It was you. It was you. You were in synagogue. What? Yeah.

What? Yeah. So don't joke, because you do have one and you do wear it. Definitely, definitely have not worn one since 2019. The last time I wore one. a hairband. I know, because I have a photo of me wearing it.

Honestly, that is the last time I wore one. No. We'll have to discuss this later. That is very weird. Should we sign off? Yeah. I feel like I need some food. I need carbs.

You know, I've worked very hard today. Work very hard. You know, the problem is that this job makes me think we're working hard, but we're not. No, we're not really. No. Most people actually go to work. I sit and chat to you.

Imagine if you had to work in Gap and fold all those t-shirts. over and over and over and over again all day you go mad. Yeah, but they have a gadget to help them, you know. No, they do. You see them walking around, refolding, refolding, refolding, refolding. Yes, they do. They have like that foldy thing. Can you imagine if I worked in Gap, if anyone came near the stores, I'd be like,

because there's so many piles of T-shirts and sweatshirts and all I see is them. They're not, don't exist anymore, but, you know, folding. And I always think if I work there, I'd be like, don't touch them. I've just folded this. I'd go mad. So would I. Imagine that was like on a roll all day long, eight hours a day. And then you're like, you've just folded them as someone comes up and...

Yeah, messes them up. Yeah. You can for some size, not caring about the fact you've just spent half an hour foot. What a pointless task. What's a pointless task? It's like the job equivalent of kitchen surface wiping. Yes. Isn't it?

Yes. So that's much harder than what we do. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Everyone works harder than we do. It's so true. We do nothing.

So how do you monetize it? I'll get asked all the time, don't you? Yeah, all the time. How did you get, how does this podcast actually? How does the podcast actually work? Do you actually earn money from it? Oh, that one, that one's brilliant. Actually, yeah, believe it or not, we actually do.

We actually do. People pay us. It's a job. People pay us to talk to each other. I know. Ridiculous, isn't it? Yeah. It is a bit.

Bye, everyone.