40ish - Tea, The Traitors and Rude Friends

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

This week on 40ish, Lauren and Nicole are living their best reality TV lives as they debate whether they’re Traitors or Faithfuls.  Plus, things get heated (in the most British way possible) as they argue the correct way to make a cup of tea. A listener wants to know if it’s rude to ask her friends to turn off the TV for a conversation... we say, obviously, but agree that Slow Horses is an addictive series. Oh, and is it really a sign of middle age if you ask for a cast iron pot for your birthday? Tune in for this episode of 40ish where wisdom, nonsense, and questionable gift requests collide. We would love to hear from you!  To share your dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Go to ZOE.com to find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. You can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 to get 10% off membership. As a ZOE member, you’ll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. Use 40ISH10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This winter, take a trip to Tampa on Porter Airlines. Enjoy the warm Tampa Bay temperatures and warm Porter hospitality on your way there. All Porter Fairs include beer, wine and snacks and free fast-streaming Wi-Fi on planes with no middle seats. And your Tampa Bay vacation includes good times, relaxation and great Gulf Coast weather. Visit flyporter.com and actually enjoy economy. This episode is sponsored by Zoe. could do with a laugh. We would be so grateful. Thank you so much. And also, if you're really loving it, please rate and review. That is really special. Why are you laughing? Because it's so middle-aged.

They didn't read it, really. I didn't have to put on a scarf with a crystal ball and then once I'd finished washing and rinsing their hair I was like, right, turn your teacup over. Her words are, her actual words were, pissy. Oh, pissy. Pissy. You make a pissy cup of tea, I'll have a coffee. When we got there, they were watching Slow Horses,

I love Slow Horses, and proceeded to watch an entire episode before they would speak to us. Hello everybody, welcome to 40ish, I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Lauren Mishcon. This is the podcast that navigates the challenges and absurdities of 40-something life and solves all of your dilemmas. You are very animated today.

Yeah, I'm ready. Animated and caffeinated. That's the one. Yeah. Every episode we discuss your problems, your issues, your rants that you have very kindly shared with us and we also divulge our own stories about the problems and the mess of navigating midlife. What mess are you navigating this week in midlife? Do you know what? Not my own mess, someone else's mess, but I had to bring it because

to me it's possibly the most middle-aged accident I've ever heard of. I had to go and visit my friend this weekend. I shall call her Susan. That's not her name, but to save her embarrassment, let's just call her that. She's broken her ankle. I know poor old Susan. So I trotted around with some flowers and I said, please pray tell how did you break your ankle? And she said, I swear to you, this is true. Picking up the post from my own doormat. How could you? I said, that is really, really special. But I, but I understand it's been icy and her, and she slipped and her stairs are tiled and there's two little steps down i said i

get it like you went out were you in your slippers you slipped she went no no you're not you're not really grasping this she said i was in my own hallway the front door was shut so i don't i don't understand so she literally bent down to pick up her post her ankle tipped it pulled the ligament and it snapped the bone I shouldn't laugh but also like that is really special why are you laughing because it's so middle-aged and she's in a boot and she can't drive for six weeks the thing is though yeah the main issue with that yeah there's no story but there's no peril that's what is that there's no story, but there's no peril. That's what I mean. There's no, there's no like, everyone will say,

what happened to your ankle? And then she's gonna have to repeat this really unexciting, unsexy story. Again, I basically just, I'm- I'm just 49. That's what happened to me. Well, I don't think that is what happens to you normally. Well, I'm sorry to say, like,

I just wanna now jump in with is she on HRT and has she got osteoporosis? Yes, she is on HRT. Good. She was also hobbling like more than she should be hobbling. And she was like this with her hand up. And I said, what what else is going on? The thing is, because I'm a bit unstable because of the broken ankle. I've now put my back out.

You are so mean! I'm sorry I really love her but also I just couldn't believe it. I was like if this is it now what what happens in the future? Is she not so pissed off? She's really annoyed that she can't drive she said she's not in a terrible amount of pain it's just more like annoying than really painful. I mean what a pain in the arse! It't drive. She said she's not in a terrible amount of pain. It's just more like annoying than really painful. What a pain in the ass. It really is. It really isn't just like this. I hope it's not setting the tone for the year because what next? Like she brushes her teeth and she breaks. Where do you go? Well, most people aren't breaking their ankle by just bending over on their ankle. Poor thing. Special though, right? Special 40 something accident. It's it's more than special.

It's like tragic. It's tragic. I wish she's going to have to make up a story. She's going to have to make up a story. And I think yours is better. Oh, I went outside. I slipped on the stairs. I see I was going out to a really fancy dinner, I was wearing these massive heels and I, you know, had too much champagne and I tripped over a Benedict Cumberbatch, broke my ankle. You know, something like that. Yeah, I mean, something, or something believable.

Yeah, or something more believable, I don't know. Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer. Because we have to do this bit for legal reasons, don't we? Do we actually? Yeah, we do. Do we? Yeah. Well, who's going to sue us? Someone who takes our advice when they shouldn't.

Yeah, but what advice are we giving that would be so detrimental? I don't know, but we are not doctors or healthcare professionals and we have to make that statement. We are. We are just two middle-aged women with a lot of opinions. That's the one. That is it. That's why we did this podcast. That's right. So if you do have a problem or you are seriously struggling, you don't come to us, do you? No, you go and see. A special

professional. Yeah a qualified expert is the term we're looking for here. A qualified expert. That was a brain fog moment please excuse me I can have that dear. It's fine. What is our first question of the day? Oh I don't know. Today. Okay it says hi girls opinions please. Oh, always happy. No problem. This weekend, we drove 120 miles to see friends we hadn't seen for a year. When we got there, they were watching slow horses. I love slow horses and proceeded to watch an entire episode before they would speak to us. They have always been very normal, impeccably polite people.

I was and still am quite pissed off. What do you think? Wow. That's really weird. That's really. And I also want to ask at what point in the episode were they at? Because sometimes, well, often I walk into the living room

and Adam will be watching the TV and I say to him, right, come on, let's watch something that we're watching together. And he goes, let me finish this episode. So this actually happened, this actually happened yesterday. So I said, well, how long have you got left to the episode? And he said, he said 10 minutes. And I said, prove it.

This is a lovely trusting marriage you've got. No, because I've been duped so many times with this, oh, I've only got 10 minutes. And then he couldn't find the remote control and then he picked up the wrong control. And then, you know, and then he was getting really eggy. And then eventually I saw that it, there was actually 16 minutes left.

Now, at what point is the cutoff that I think you should just go over to the new episode that you're watching with your partner and I don't have to sit there for 16 minutes waiting for him to finish. Like what is the polite timeframe? Well can I just preface this by saying I'm presuming you didn't drive 120 miles to see Adam on the sofa, you probably just came from upstairs. So that's okay. I came from, I came from a dog walk.

Okay, so you'd come from outside Back to your own home. I had but I'm just saying that he does this a lot And I do often have to wait for an episode to finish and I hadn't driven 120 miles you are correct and they're not friends of mine and we live in the same house and It still fucks me off. You still thought it was rude. I think 16 minutes is okay. I think anything over half an hour, little bit of a chutzpah dip. I think anything over 16 minutes. Oh, is that your cutoff?

That's really specific. I think so. Yeah, I think so. Because then it's just like, well, now I've got to sit for 20 minutes. 20 minutes is a long time to wait for somebody to finish until you can get onto to the next activity. I'm basically want to be left alone for on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday evenings between

nine and 10 because I'm busy watching the traitors. No ad breaks. So you can't like go to the loo or anything. Just got to sit there for an hour. That's what's so dreamy about BBC one. So dreamy. But Ollie has like decided that that is the time when he wants to like have a cuddle. Well, has like decided that that is the time when he wants to like have a cuddle. Well come on the sofa like come come an actual cuddle yeah an actual cuddle come over here I'm watching traitors come over here does he watch traitors with you no he doesn't watch the traitors hold on sorry sorry at nine o'clock on a Wednesday Thursday and Friday Oli decides

to sit on the sofa and wants to kiss you. Yeah, you know why? Because he's not getting my attention. You know, like with the dog, it's a similar thing. Right. You know, like when they're on the floor and they're like pushing their ball towards you and they're doing a little bit of barking, you know, like how Miley does, like, oh, play me, play me, it's like that. Because he knows that an hour of my attention is going to be diverted to Claudia Winkleman. He wants that attention back. Let me ask you another question then with that. Are you as

polite to Ollie as you are to Miley my dog when she starts doing that with you? It's about the same although Ollie doesn't have such a high pitch bark that perforates eardrums with its tone. herates eardrums with its tone. She's got a very female bark. Yes. It's very loud. It is very loud, but she lives in a very loud house. So she has to make herself loud. Yeah.

Yeah. No, he doesn't bark at me. But the thing is she always, always barks at you. She's not actually- She's not barking at me. She's barking like, plain. No, she's talking to you. Yeah, yeah.

I get it. I actually- I speak her language. I know you do, but she's not that bark me, she's barking like play. No, she's talking to you. Yeah, yeah, I get it. She's not that barky. I speak her language. I know you do, but she's not that barky. I just, in her defense, she's not that barkier dog. She just wants to play. No, I think she just really likes you. Yeah, yeah, and mutual. I like her too.

I'm just not into the barking, but I like her. I'm happy to play with her. So he wants you to kiss and cuddle. He basically just doesn't want my attention diverted for now to Claudia. I'm not even so sure how much he wants to kiss and cuddle. So he basically just doesn't want my attention diverted for an hour to Claudia. I'm not even so sure how much he wants to kiss and cuddle. I think it's more like, can he get me away from Claudia? I think it's just like that push and pull. But there must be other elements of your life where he doesn't have your attention.

There must be other parts and other times when you're not focusing on Ollie. There are, but I think also he doesn't have something to watch for that hour. So, you know, he's a bit bored. So what does he do? Why does he just watch the tra he, it's not for him. He's tried. I've leave me. I've tried to go.

Oh, I have dragged Adam in this season. And he is in good. He's in, but he doesn't do, he doesn't want to do the debrief. What? Like sometimes I say, right, who would you recruit? Yeah. Who are you going to merge next?

Yeah. And what are you thinking if they choose them and if they choose them, and I want to have a whole breakdown and conversation. You can text me about it. So he's like not into that. If you went in would you want to be a traitor or a faithful? I mean if you want to have the full experience I think you should go in as a traitor. If you can. You have to. You don't have to. Dude because then you have control of the game and you're running the narrative Otherwise you are passively playing the game awaiting murder because the banishment it could happen to anyone

You can't be murdered if you're a traitor So and you could do anything wrong to be murdered. You could be too popular too. Nice too kind Everyone likes it the other day someone said oh and then that suddenly she was a suspect. Yeah, it was amazing. Someone else had a glint in their eye. Yeah, yeah. Like it can be nothing. They smiled. Yeah, they smiled.

Or you get murdered because you know that you're never going to get banished. Yes. Right. Or you're too astute. Right. So murder can happen for any reason. So you have to be a traitor to take control of the game. I think. Although it's definitely more stressful to play it as a traitor.

Well you're living a double life. I don't know. The thing is you have to live a double life because then as you come into the breakfast room you just have to have a faithful hat on. You just have to. Yeah of course. And you have to be a faithful all day. Yeah. But I think you could get into the mindset where you just in your mind pretend you're a faithful. That's what I would do. But also as the seasons go on, they get more knowing, don't they? So everyone's getting-

Yeah, but then they change it up. Oh, okay. Anyway, what was the question? Oh, why, is that wrong? Yeah. How would you feel? How would you feel if you drove 120 miles and someone's, I mean, I like slow horses.

I get the slow horses thing. It's a great program. Agreed. Very addictive. But if someone's turning up to my door after driving 120 miles, A, they're going to be hungry. That's me being a Jewish mom. Yeah. They need to be fed.

Obviously. They need to be watered. Of course. They need a cup of coffee. Yeah. They probably need the loo. Yeah. I need to hostess. All of the above. Yeah. Presumably they're staying the night. And if they've driven 120 miles, I'll assume I've made a meal for them. But I also tell you this, if you had driven the, I believe it's like 2.2 miles, maybe less from

your house to my house, I also wouldn't not speak to you whilst watching an episode of Snow Horses. Like the mileage isn't really the issue here because I don't care if like you've popped over from 10 minutes away or 100 miles away, I'm still not going to ignore you and watch an episode of Telly when you arrive at my front door. It's a very odd way to behave. It really is and it would make you feel so awkward about being there and uncomfortable. Can I just put something else out there? Yeah Maybe they're neurodiverse

But I think that she would have said that Would she what she wouldn't be pissed off she'd be like my friends neurodiverse sometimes this is how they behave and it's okay I accept it or are you saying that they might be and she doesn't her friend doesn't know maybe no maybe no one knows. Maybe no one knows they're neurodiverse because it's a real social cue to miss, isn't it? Yeah, but she said normally they're very normal and very, very polite. So this was an anomaly. So something's going on. Maybe they're just really addicted to slow horses. How addicted can you possibly be? I mean, I've watched it. I was addicted. I loved it. Yeah. But I would be able to turn it off. Do you think that maybe this couple turned up too early?

Oh, yeah, but it'd be an hour too early. But if they've driven 120 miles, right? Maybe they've built in time to travel. And maybe it's like like you're here early. I'm punishing you now. I wasn't ready for you. You've interrupted our kind of day. This is what we're doing right now. I think whichever way you look at it, it is socially off. I'm trying to find an excuse to this people but I can't. I'm thinking that they're neurodiverse and they've missed this cue completely. I think that's a charitable angle. I live in a're neurodiverse and they've missed this queue completely. I think that's a charitable angle.

I live in a very neurodiverse house. I still think it's very charitable. Everyone in my house is neurodiverse. You're just assuming both of them are. I think it's just really quite rude. It's rude. It's rude. It is rude, but that's what I'm saying.

They've missed a social queue somewhere. They've missed something somewhere. I tell you, I wouldn't be driving the 120 miles again. I don't know if I'd want to stay the weekend. What are you going to do? Drive back? Well yeah. No. I'd stay. I don't think I'd be able to have a conversation about it because how orcs would that be? Because then you look petty. Yeah, really petty. And how do you even navigate that? You just, you let it go. You let it go.

I'm sorry, listener. I'm with you. I would also be pissed off. I think it was wrong. It's not okay. Don't behave like that. No. No.

But you can't even tell them. You can't even tell them. You could. You could. You could. You could be like, hello. I've driven 120 miles. You sound like such a twat.

Do you want to turn the telly off? It's taken me two hours to get here. Depends who it is. If it was my sister, I'd be like, what are you doing? Hello, I'm here. Can you turn that off? Yeah. It's so awkward. It's so awkward. So awkward. We can't solve it.

No. Hello everybody. If you are enjoying this episode, could we please request that you share it with a friend who you think could do with a laugh? We would be so grateful. Thank you so much. And also if you're really loving it, please rate and review. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. As a psychotherapist, one of the most powerful lessons I've learned is that we have the ability to rewrite our own stories. Each year gives us the chance to reflect, reset, and reimagine what we want our lives to be. And as we begin 2025, I encourage you to think about your story. Are there chapters you'd like to revisit

or perhaps ones you've been hesitant to write? Therapy can help you find clarity, discover tools to cope, and empower you to move forward with purpose. It's not about quick resolutions. It's about embracing the process of growth and becoming the best version of yourself. BetterHelp makes therapy accessible and convenient,

offering a network of over 30,000 therapists with a wide range of expertise. It's fully online so you can connect with a professional who meets your needs from the comfort of your own home. Write your story with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash therapy works today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash therapy works. What else is going on for you this week? Well, something very middle-aged happened to me this week and I think you're going to

be really, really, really upset. Oh gosh. I put it on Instagram. Right. A lot of people replied. They were also feeling me and they were upset. Oh. Are you sitting down? Are you prepared?

I don't know. I'm sitting. I don't know if I'm prepared. Remember a while ago we released an episode and you were like obsessed with my new washing line. Oh yeah completely. It was on fucking wheels. Yeah it was on wheels. It had wings. It had, it was extendable. I'm still obsessed with it. The whole the whole shebang. Yeah, it was on wheels. It had wings. It had, it was extendable. I'm still obsessed with it. The whole, the whole shebang. Yeah. Well, I walked in on Sunday morning.

Yeah. Into my utility room. Yeah. And it was on the floor in quite a few pieces. What? And all the washing that was hanging on it was also on the floor. Who is the perpetrator?

I don't know if it's a perpetrator. I think it just broke. Oh. I think it looked fancy. I always told you it wasn't fancy. Actually, it was a bit shit. Right. And it just couldn't cope with four shirts

hanging on it, obviously. And it fell over. Yeah. And all the beams came out of it. And then there was washing all over my floor. Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss. No, I fixed it. Oh, I'm also sorry I missed this whole drama on Instagram

because it sounds scintillating. Yeah, oh, it was, oh, we got messages of- Did we? Oh, we had so many sympathy, so much sympathy, you know, people were like, no, they weren't actually. Okay. And thirdly, are you going to replace it with a bougier version now? No, I've actually fixed it. You're trusting it to survive. Well, no, now the relationship has changed because I no longer trust this washing line. I agree. I understand. Because I don't know when I'm going to go back in and all the washing is going to be

on the floor and the beans will over the floor again. You know what the good news is, it's your birthday in like three, four weeks. So you could ask Adam for a special present. Do you know what I thought this morning? Actually, that brings me on to my next thing, which I wasn't even going to say. What I really want for my birthday, and this is so fucking sad. I'm a little aged, but they are so expensive. I want a bigger LaCruz. Oh my God. Me too. No one's surprised to hear that you want it. All he was washing hours last night. Yeah. Bear in mind, we got them from our wedding. Our wedding was 24 years ago. Right. And I got like a set, but my favorite

one, you got a set. Yes. But my favourite one that I was using last night he was like this thing is fucked. I said I know. What's wrong with it? It's got like a gouge out the bottom and the lid. A gouge out the bottom? Yeah. How? I don't know and the lid is cracked. Sorry how is there a gouge out the bottom? There is even though it's cast iron and the lid has got a crack all the way across to the middle. He said can't you get these things reconditioned? Can't we buy, can't we just buy a new one? I said do you know how much these things are? I said that's why they were wedding presents. We can't just buy a new one. I mean a new one's about what, 300 quid? Yeah they're hundreds of pounds. He's like can't you get it reconditioned?

They have them on brand Ali by the way. Do they? Yeah but they're none of the ones you want. He said I think, I think we need a new one. And in the back of my mind, I was thinking, Ooh, it's my birthday in March. I could get a new LaCruzette pot. We actually had the same thought. We have, but my biggest thought, and it will have been the same thought you've had. What color? No, that wasn't my biggest thought.

That's my biggest thought. My biggest thought was. How tragic am I? Yeah. My biggest thought was no, no, I'm Yeah, my biggest thought was no, no, I'm not gonna get a LaCruz-A dish for my fucking birthday. But it's so. I'm just no, I'm not doing it, it serves everybody.

I'm gonna get a present that serves only me. It's my birthday, that is for the household. That is not for me. I feel that, but also whatever you're gonna get for yourself, unless it is something also whatever you're going to get for yourself unless it is something absolutely classic you'll have forever. No why? Why don't you just get a fun gift? Because the thing is that dish keeps giving and giving and giving until it wears out. It gives and gives. It does but I just don't believe that I should have to give up my birthday

present. Maybe Adam should give up his birthday present for one. It serves him as much as it serves me. We feel differently on this. If I got gifted a sky blue or even better like the marine blue round cocotte dish 23 inches, I am very happy. My mum bought me that dish. It's fabulous. And I was so happy. Yeah, you should be. Not for my birthday just because she was being lovely. That's a nice mum. Or probably telling me that my pan's needed. Shit. All right. It's so quick to jump on the pan bandwagon, aren't we? Maybe we could. I've got a new pan, by the way.

OK, maybe we should go on a hunt for some. Oh, oh, oh. They've got a shop in Bista. Let's go. Outletista. Let's go. Outlet store. Let's go on a birthday outing. I think that... You know, a couple of years ago,

we went to Parlebone High Street and you bought yourself a lovely coat on your birthday. We're not... But you know, the coat cost a lot of money. I've worn it four times. If I'd bought the pan, I would have used it every day. You could have worn the coat today. Could, but it's a bit smart for the studio.

Isn't it? But this is the problem, you're saving it. I'm not saving it, I just don't think of it as an everyday coat. Anyway, the point is I'm not getting a washing line for my birthday and I'm also not going to get a LaCruzze dish. Okay. You do you boo. Here's our second question. Are you ready? Oh dear. I can see the tone of today's show. The tone is pettiness. Oh, oh, it was better than the usual tone. Petty. Hi. Hi. A new woman has started work in my department. She's younger and keen to

please and three days and three days a week. What's her number? I could work with someone like that. Three days a week at 11am. She makes a round of tea for the four of us at our large shared desk. The tea looks and tastes like shit. It's grey. It's weak. And yesterday as I walked past the kitchen I saw that she puts the milk in first. Is she a psychopath? Is this some young person TikTok trend? Can I say anything? There is a lot in that. Let's start with the most important bit. The tea. The tea. Right. No, let's go bit by bit. Okay. Okay. There's a new young woman who started working there. Yeah. Who's very nice and eager to please. Yes. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely. Super. Right. So then she willingly goes and makes everyone a cup of tea at three o'clock. Yes. 11 o'clock morning tea. 11 o'clock

morning break. Nice. Yeah. How much would you like someone to just come in and make you a cup of tea at 11 o'clock? Oh, it would be a fucking dream. Right. But then when they send, when they give you the tea and it's undrinkable, that's just not helpful, is it? No, no, no, no, no. The thing is, I think that it is a very, very, very important skill to be able to make a cup of tea in life.

A proper cup of English tea. And in your opinion, would you be putting the milk in first? You can't put the milk in first. It's illegal. Agreed. It's illegal to tea, because what happens is something to do

with how the hot water hits the bag and how it permeates, and then it's something to do with the flavor in the hits the bag and how it permeates and then it's something to do with the flavor in the water. If you put the milk in, it changes the chemistry. Did you know that? I didn't know about changing the chemistry, but I would consider myself in non-psychopathic territory when it comes to making a cup of tea and I would do bag, sweetener, same time. Water, let it brew three minutes, then milk. Three minutes is a long time.

I do like it strong. I made you a cup of tea the other day. How was it? Rate it. It was good, your tea is always good. Is it? I've never noted it to be anything other than good. Oh, well, I have an aunt. She won't drink my tea.

Why? She thinks it's shit. Her words are, her actual words were, pissy. Oh, pissy. Pissy. Yeah. You make a pissy cup of tea, I'll have a coffee. I think that's because maybe the brew time's not long enough. Anyway, I then tried to trick her once and just make a cup of tea of how she liked it

and I put so much love into it she was she was not fooled. No. No. So she won't drink tea in my house. Okay, fair enough. I did have a woman who used to live next door come around once and she told me that the cup of tea I made was the worst cup of tea she'd ever drunk in her life. Bear in mind she'd never met me before that morning.

Oh. I'd moved in, she knocked on my door, she said, Hi, my name's Marcia. I live next door. Invited herself in for a cup of tea, which I duly made her because frankly, I was terrified. She sounds terrified. Much older than me. And she said to me, this is the worst cup of tea I've ever had in my life. And I knew in that moment that I loved her.

Yeah. Yeah. And I just loved her. Yeah. Loved her until the day she died. Yeah. Loved her. Yeah. It was great. She sounds great. She was great. Yeah. Fabulous nails. Did she, what did you do with the tea though? I felt like I made it in my normal way, but I don't know. Obviously it wasn't to her standards. It's a big question, isn't it? Yeah. Milk in first, milk in after. Milk in after. I don't think it's even a debate. Milk in after. I was actually somewhere, where was I, the other day, and they were making me a peppermint tea

and they asked me if I had milk in it. What? Yeah. No. No, no, no, no. Can you imagine a tea? Who, who, who? It must have been someone under the age of 14. I can't remember, no, I don't think it was.

I can't remember who it was. I mean, that only happened once when I thought, okay, Josh is now 11, old enough to make a cup of tea. I said, Josh, make me a peppermint tea. And he brought it in. God bless him with milk and a sweetener. Oh, that's so sweet. I know. It's so sweet. And yet possibly one of the most revolting things I've ever sipped. So it went straight down the sink. I didn't tell him. Next time. I just said, Josh, next

time peppermint tea, just the bag and the water. Nothing else. But he's not to know that, is he? He's not. him. Next time I just said Josh, next time, peppermint tea, just the bag and the water, nothing else. But he's not to know that, is he? He's not to know that. Anyway. But you know what, couldn't she do the same thing with this intern in the office? Couldn't she say, darling, sweetheart, whatever your name is, lovely girl, thank you so much for the tea. Maybe just call her by her name. Well I don't know what her name is and she hasn't said. Let's say her name is Emma. Emma it is absolutely delightful that you make me a cup of tea at 11 a.m every day but I'm going to show you how to make a proper cup of tea. Come on let's go and make a proper cup of tea together. Yeah. I mean is it mildly patronizing? Yes. Is it a little bit rude? Yes but when you then get a good cup. Yes I don't think it's rude. I don't think it's rude. I think she is doing her a solid,

a total solid because you've got to know how to make a nice cup of tea. Listen, my career started out with me just making tea and coffee. That was my job. Me too. When I was 15, I worked in a hairdresser. I used to make Turkish coffees. What's a Turkish coffee? It was a Greek hairdresser. So he only made Turkish coffee. Like the stuff that's like mud. Oh, and then they like read it. They didn't read it, really. I didn't have to put on a scarf with a crystal ball

and then once I'd finished washing and rinsing their hair, I was like, right, turn your teacup over, let's see what haircut your future has in store for you. I think it's a bob with a few layers. What I'm getting is, layers, layers. Does that mean anything to you? Are you so sarky? I actually didn't mean you would read it. Oh right, someone else. Well, they brought in a fortune teller to the hair salon.

Maybe, maybe. May be. How would that go? I don't know. Okay. No, no. All right. So you're saying tell her. 100% tell her. You don't have to be rude or demeaning or condescending. You just tell her. Or just say no thanks to the tea at 11am. You could also do that. No, but if you like a nice cup of tea at 11am.

It's not a nice cup of tea. It's a shit cup of tea. It has to be set very clearly. You've got to tell her. I think it's okay. What are we so afraid of? Don't let it drag on. Why is it dragging on? Because she feels like she's a sweet girl. She's doing a nice thing. She wants to people please and she doesn't want to like upset her or be rude or seem ungrateful. I don't think you could avoid all of those things because none of those things are in the space. You're not ungrateful. You're not rude. You're just telling her, you know, when someone

told you, you didn't mind. When someone told me, I didn't mind. I laughed my head off. There you go. Because I couldn't believe the chutzpah. Yeah, there you go. And same, but she was my aunt, is my aunt. Okay. So just, we're just going to say to this listener, say it. Say it. Don't be scared of it. And you're actually doing her a favour, because she is actually going to go through life

making this crappy tea. That's not good. So like, see it, say it, sorted. Well, we sorted that. They don't need to see a prof... They don't need to see a professional for that, do they? No, no, no. No, they don't need to see a qualified expert.

A qualified expert, that's the one. The tea advice, no, no. They don't need to see a qualified expert. A qualified expert, that's the one. The tea advisor, I think it's easier. Unless she gets really upset. Or poisoned. If you do, that's not our fault. Just saying. Because we're not qualified experts.

I'm just kidding, I'm not that. We're just tea middle-aged women with a lot of opinions. Yeah, if there's arsenic bromide or strychnine put into your tea, that's not on us, that's on you babes.