40ish - Testosterone, Hormonal Rage & An ADHD Marriage Dilemma

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

This week on 40ish, Lauren discovers that Mah Jong, tea and cake might actually be peak midlife entertainment, while Nicole has an unexpected tantrum on the padel court. We hear from a listener who says finally being prescribed testosterone during menopause helped her feel like herself again, boosted her confidence, improved her libido and even made her like her husband again. We discuss testosterone for women, perimenopause, menopause symptoms and why hormones can have such a huge impact on how we feel. In Midlife News, we explore why so many women over 40 feel like they have nothing to wear. Is it really about clothes, or is it changing bodies, confidence, hormones and learning to dress the person we've become? Our listener dilemma sparks a lively conversation about ADHD in women, relationships and the mental load after one woman's husband comes home from a wedding convinced she has ADHD following a lengthy chat with his female best friend. Plus, Lauren's spectacular meltdown involves the dog throwing up a raw meat fountain onto the carpet, and we ask when exactly your neighbour's cat quietly becomes everyone else's responsibility. 40ish is the funny podcast for midlife women navigating menopause, perimenopause, hormones, relationships, confidence and everything else life throws at women over 40. Topics discussed:• Testosterone for women• Menopause and hormones• Perimenopause• Women's libido• ADHD in women• Midlife confidence• Body image after 40• Relationships and mental load• Women over 40• Menopause humour 💛 Follow us on Substack: The Midlife Club If you're enjoying 40ish, please follow, rate and review the podcast, and share it with a friend who'll laugh along with us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Spotify, it's Jay Shetty. are you one of those media strategy people, scrolling through spreadsheets, searching for an audience that pays twice as much attention to your ads than they do on social? Let me introduce you to fans. And they're here with me on Spotify. Trust me, I know fans.

They don't skip, they stay for hours. They don't move on, they manifest. They're not a demographic group, they're fans. Spotify advertising. You're among fans. panic. That's a great thing to do on Saturday night. He came home and formally asked me to sit down for a chat.

He told me at the wedding he and his friend spent hours discussing me. Apparently they decided that we don't communicate well in our marriage. Not only that. It's like estrogen makes me definitely more polite. I didn't realise how impolite. I was until I don't really care. That's also interesting. Because with estrogen, I do care.

Without estrogen, I don't. Hello everybody, welcome to 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast tackling the chaos of 40-something life. Every week, Tuesdays and Thursdays, we dive into all things midlife, the news, your stories, your dilemmas, and of course, bringing you our own mess. and challenges and wonders of this special, special decade. And you can watch the video every week on Spotify.

We are back on Spotify. You are welcome. We've actually had a few messages of people thanking us saying we've missed your faces on Spotify, so that was cute. Very. We are also on YouTube, so you can go and join the other 31 viewers on YouTube. Wow.

You could fill Wembley with those people. And you can listen on any other podcast platform. And if you've got something to share big or small, we want to hear it. So please email us. Hello at 40ish.com. UK, please do keep your messages coming in, be part of the conversation.

And if you're loving 40-ish, we would be so grateful if you could share this episode or this show in general with someone who you think would love it to. Right, come on. What's your 40-ish moment? It sounds very sweet.

Well, you know I do my Marjorne classes. Yeah. One of the ladies, she's bought her own set. So she invited us over. People not just have, it's not like buying a game of Scrabble. It's not because it's quite expensive. Okay. So she invited us over to her home to play a private game and christen the new set. She invited us at tea time. I made it cake. Oh my God. How sweet. And we went over four of us because you play, you can play three, but normally it's four. And it was the first time we'd use the set. You can't play two. No, can't play two. We started the game.

we were all a bit nervous because we worked with our teacher, so we had to like do it on our own. We managed very well. And then two of the ladies went off to like make some tea and cut the cake and get out some fruit. And the two of us who were left, my friend was like, this is so deeply middle age. In fact, I don't even know if it's middle aged. I feel like it's almost retirement age. So I know what you mean. She's like, we're, Saturday afternoon we're having tea and cake and playing marjeung.

middle-aged women together. And she's like, yeah. And she's like, you might as well, if you replace that with knitting. Honestly, yes. And she said the thing is, I don't hate it. Yeah.

I was like, no, me neither. It's so civilized. It's so fun. Yeah. It was a deep midlife fun. Yeah, midlife fun. Yeah. But the thing is, right,

I think we need to rebrand the word fun. because we talk about it like briefly, but we never really unpick it because I always assume fun is having to go to a party or get dressed up or get really drunk. But actually I like doing those things very, very, very occasionally. But that's not what I do for fun anymore. Yeah.

And suddenly fun becomes this. Yeah. And we also, I'm actually the baby of the group. Oh, I'm the youngest. Nice. Yeah. But the other women were saying like, no one is interested in us on a Saturday afternoon. Everyone else in the house is doing their own thing.

Yeah. Out and about. Yeah. Busy with their stuff. Like, no one was missing us. And we realized that we were actually having our own Saturday afternoon fun. Yeah. Yeah.

Honestly, I mean, I know obviously we can't have a whole episode without me talking about paddle. No. All I've done all weekend is play paddle. And like all weekend. I've been in tournaments. I've hurt my hip. Anyway, it doesn't matter. That's a whole other thing.

But what I'm saying is, like, I can do this now because nobody wants to be hanging out with mum and everybody's got their own life and their own stuff to be getting along with. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a new phase. It is a new phase,

and I find it a little bit, like, I like it, but I still find it a little bit discombobulating. Oh, totally. It really is, just leaving the house at half-past two. like I'm going to play Marjean now. I'll be back in a few hours. Yeah.

No one cares. No. Maybe the dog. She'll miss me. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Okay.

Let's just go straight to your 40-ish moment. You've just written down here, hormonal rage. Yeah. I mean, do I actually need to say anymore? I don't think you do. Maybe it's best you don't. Frankly. Hormonal rage.

Okay. I am up to like the, like there's no breathing room for all the rage. Great. fun. I don't know what to tell you and I'm doing all the things. We're 36 hours away from the trip to the gynecologist so that's good. Yeah. And the thing is, is that he kind of got a little bit of my rage. Did he? Sort of, a little bit, just the secretary who's just so gorgeous and I was just so pushy.

Like I've actually got to sit. Like I'm not coping. I can't really be in public. Like I know he's told me my numbers are okay but I clearly am not. No. Last week you couldn't make salad. I had to actually go out and get us takeaway salad. It was a bad day. It was a bad day.

I'd have a massive panic attack. Yeah, it was a very, very bad day. And it was very, very hot. It's just, I can't cope with my, I can't cope with myself. I can't cope with myself. I don't even know how I'm going to do this show. I will. I'll just keep looking at you as a grounding force.

Mm-hmm. Do that. I'm just like, and then I went in to say goodbye to my husband before we left. Yeah. And I went, I just literally poked my head around. He goes, what, what have I done? I said, you've done anything? I'm just coming to say good morning.

Yeah, he was scared. I could see the fear in his eyes. He was terrified. He was. He goes. Well, you said it in a way of like, I said, I just said good morning. Did I just say good morning or no? I don't think you'd even said anything.

I think he just opened the door and he was like, what? What? You hadn't actually spoken. I have said to him a hundred times, look, it's just Tuesday. Okay? By Thursday, I'll be feeling a lot better. Yeah. How long does it actually take to him?

kick in. Well, about three days. Oh. So maybe Saturday. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. It must be really hard for you. It's really hard for you. It must be really hard for you because it's not, you know, it's a breeze for me. I love feeling. I love having the anxiety literally like, I'm going to be sick with it. I love it. It's just amazing. And also what I really like is when like, one of your best friends comes to give you a cuddle and you just want to scream. Like, it's horrible. It's horrible.

Wow. What did you say to me this morning? You said, oh, what's the temperature? And I said, telling you about the weather. Yeah. You went, no, no, the emotional temperature. Yeah. And my comment to you was, well, I found that really annoying.

So that's the temperature. Just that sentence irritated me. Okay, well, that's the temperature then. We'll go with that. We had some feedback about, um, hormones from a non. She said, I'm just listening to the study about testosterone. That was on last week's show when we were talking about how it's not actually testosterone levels

that define middle-aged women's libido. It's actually like, have you lifted a finger to help me out today? Yeah. I have definitely benefited, she says, psychologically more than in any other way. I finally got prescribed it and it was the missing link for me. I feel like myself again. I've even really started to like my husband again and not just physically. I feel, oh, this is how and who I was before.

Yeah. I've remembered the person I used to be, but with the added knowledge that not giving a fuck is okay. I took Instagram off my phone for a while. I just had it on my iPad, but as an Android phone user, I find the iPad a bit more mentally taxing than I should. That's my 40-ish rant for the week.

The context switch between tech devices that once I would never have had a problem with. I was the go-to in the office for printer problems, photocopied problems, and network issues. So she's basically gone. from being this tech savvy woman to someone struggling with an iPad. With an iPad.

I don't even have an iPad. I don't either. I don't really get an iPad. It's a big phone. My husband has an iPad. But you can't make a phone call. He loves his iPad. Does he?

Yeah. He really, like he does wordle on it. He reads the paper on it. But I'm like, why can't you just use your laptop? It's different. It's a different experience. It's a different viewing experience. I just never got the iPad bug.

You know? It's so not a U bug to get. It isn't, is it? No. No. Did you ever have an iPod? No. What's an iPod?

So how did you listen to music at that time? You had a CD player? I just didn't bother. Oh. Did you used to have like a Walkman when you were? Yeah. Let's start up in the beginning. I had a Walkman.

Yeah. Yes. And then when I was about 11 or 12, my dad bought me a stereo system. Double cassette player. I had that. I used to record the top 40 on a Sunday. Obviously, you'd sit there with the blank tape and then you'd hold down the press and record.

Yeah, I had that and it was like so cool. It was on my shelves, my bedroom. I've never felt cooler. Then I believe I had a disc man. Do you have a disc man? Yeah, yeah. Yes, I did. Hello.

And then I gave it. That was it. What, and then you never listened to music again? Correct. Now you still can't get to Spotify. Correct. That was the end of music for me. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. That was it. I'll just listen to the radio. Interesting. Yeah, that's actually not that interesting. No, it's not really. It's actually not interesting at all.

I totally feel this woman, and I'm really pleased that she got the testosterone, and it was the missing link for her, and she feels like herself again. That must be nice. I am really, I am really looking forward to feeling like myself again, because I can't cope with it. No. No.

He wanted me to wait until the 18th of July. For context, it's the 29th of June. I can't wait another 18 minutes, let's go to the 18th of July. No. I'm not sure anyone in your house would be able to hear around. I don't think Adam would talk to me. I drove my 15-year-old so mad on Saturday night. It took one of my best friends saying to me, because we went around to our friends for a takeaway. And I was like stalking her and find my iPhone.

And she was like, what are you? you doing? What are you doing? I said, I'm just seeing where she is. She goes, she's at her friend's house and they've gone to the park, like, just stop. I'm like, oh, should I not be like, she's like, just, what the, what the fuck? I'm like, I don't know, I just felt like I needed to panic. That's a great thing to do on Saturday night when you're at a loss. You've got Mahjong, I've got anxiety. Panic. Reeses knows a thing or two about great combinations. Chocolate and peanut butter, obviously.

But there's more than one way to Rees's. From indulgent Rees' big cups with caramel to crunchy Rees' pieces and Reese's miniatures, there's a delicious Rees for every mood. It's the same combo you love, just with more ways to enjoy it. So whether you're snacking, sharing, or just treating yourself,

nothing else is Rees's. This is what's happening in Midlife News this week. Having nothing to wear means more than you think. Did you know this? Well, I'm all ears because I never have anything to wear. I never have anything to wear. Except you do. Like my wardrobes are bursting at the seams.

Okay. The phrase I have nothing to wear is often misunderstood, especially for middle-aged women. Rather than reflecting vanity or a lack of clothing, it can signal a deeper sense of discomfort with identity, body changes and self-presentation. A recent study published in, in the journal of macro marketing.

Wow, that sounds like a fun journal. I'll get right on to that this week. I'll get your subscription. Found that greater satisfaction with clothing is associated with higher well-being, partly because women who feel better about what they wear are less likely to avoid social situations. Challenges with size, fit and style

can increase self-consciousness, making social interactions daunting and in some cases leading women to withdraw from activities altogether. Yeah, I can believe that. Clothing in midlife is more than about fashion. It's about feeling authentic, confident and comfortable in public. Many women face conflicting cultural expectations to remain attractive

without appearing to try too hard, leaving them caught between feeling invisible and over-exposed. Disatisfaction with clothing often reflects limitations in the fashion industry rather than personal shortcomings because many available styles fail to accommodate changing bodies and identities. Ultimately, the right clothing can reduce self-consciousness, encourage social participation and help women feel ready to engage with the life they want to live. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that's true for any stage for a woman,

especially like postpartum. Yeah. As well. But that also, it goes along with your changing body and the big hormonal shifts in your life for sure. Because also you want to dress age appropriately, but you don't want to look. Mumsy Well you don't want to look mumsy Do you? Not really Nobody wants

Nobody's aiming for mumsy No No No Do you're going to be able to help With this week's dilemma I don't know I don't know

I mean it's a It's I think it's gonna make you quite cross I'm a bit scared To be honest Well you should be You should be I'm going to read it to you

Okay Hi ladies I am in an extremely uncomfortable situation. I've been married for 11 years. We have two kids. His best mate is a woman. They've known each other since school. Nothing romantic has ever happened between them.

But to be clear, I don't like her and I never have. Okay. She's very opinionated and I don't agree with a lot of what she has to say, but I've always made a huge effort because she means a lot to him. I'm like already uncomfortable about this. We had a baby around the same time and we hung out, but a year on, she stopped making any effort, ignored my texts and cancelled plans.

I see her about at parties, but we haven't spoken properly in about three years because I got fed up chasing her, but she still regularly goes out for drinks and meals with my husband. I don't like that either. Last week, they went to a mutual friend's wedding that I wasn't invited to. What?

Hang on. They've been married for 11 years. Okay. That's not the same. the point of this, but also not okay. He came home and formally asked me to sit down for a chat. Oh no. He told me at the wedding he and his friend spent hours discussing me.

Apparently, they decided that we don't communicate well in our marriage. Not only that, but this bitch, who hasn't even spoken to me in years, has apparently diagnosed me with ADHD based on whatever my husband has told her. My husband then tells me that she sent him information and thinks that he should encourage me to get assessed. Firstly, what the fuck has my husband been saying about me behind my back that someone feels comfortable diagnosing me from his version of events? And secondly, who the hell does she think she is? I am fuming that he's discussing me and our marriage with someone who doesn't even like me. I said very little because I didn't trust myself not to snap, but I am very angry at all of this.

Oh my God. Can I just ask a very quick question? Like if this friend was a man, I think a lot of this would land very differently. Yeah, I agree. I have to say I do completely agree with that. I mean, a lot of it wouldn't have escalated to the point like she wouldn't have made reference to the fact that they'd had a baby at the same time and, you know, and that he wasn't messaging her and things like that. I mean, it's weird that they had babies at the same time and they didn't sort of find a bond through that. I think that's the problem because they are both women and they are both obviously very fond of this husband and you would hope slash imagine

that they would have a friendship based on the bonding of being women, right? But clearly they don't. So one of my best friends, I have two very, very close friends. Let's just call them Emma and Caroline. Yeah. Okay?

Emma was friendly with Caroline's husband first. They've been friends for years and years. Yeah. Okay. Caroline came on the scene. Caroline did not get on with Emma. Emma did not get on with Caroline. Okay.

Because it was like another woman was in the space. Okay. Roll on 20 years later, Emma and Caroline are really good friends, as is Emma and the husband still. So the three of them coexist. beautifully. And so the women have a beautiful friendship alongside Emma and the husband. And they do do things independently, but so do the two women. Yes. I was just thinking I had friends who were men long before they had wives, but now they're married, they're all married, but I'm very friendly

with the wives and I have a separate friendship with the wives, like very happy to hang out with them and be with them without him. They're also happy to have him there. Yes. But very much, very fond of them. Yes. So I definitely think it can work. I think the problem is,

is that the two women haven't formed their own independent friendship. And what's that about? Well, they clearly do not like each other. She very openly says I don't like her. And I'm guessing it's mutual. Yeah. But that in itself feels problematic.

Like, why don't they like each other? other and what is it about his relationship with the best friend that feels somehow not inappropriate that's the wrong word but feels somehow it's over it's like it's overstepping a boundary somewhere yeah but it's murky well so who the fuck gets married and doesn't invite the wife of 11 years mother of the two children to the wedding they might have been having a really small wedding they might not have been able to afford it and maybe she doesn't have a relationship with the the bride or groom whatsoever. They've been together for 11 years with two, like, I find that I'd be really, really offended.

Right, but that she didn't, she hasn't made reference to that. I know she hasn't, but I'm a bit stuck on that. Right. But also, the thought of Adam sitting with another woman at a wedding that I'm not at, discussing me for hours on end, and then coming home with a list of things that I should do, i.e. get an assessment and we need to go to therapy because we don't communicate enough. Like, that is like an overstep. Or, or just playing devil's advocate,

do you think that he is, because he knows there's no love loss between these two women, do you think that he is kind of over-egged the pudding there? And actually, this is all his thoughts and feelings, but he's kind of using her. He's like saying, well, she said this and she said that, and she thinks you should get assessed because he's a bit too scared to say he feels and thinks that. So he's using her as like an excuse slash backup. Very, very possibly.

And actually you've hit on something really important that the issue is between the husband and wife. Absolutely. And that's where the dilemma is. That's where the issue is. That is what the piece that needs repairing. And this other woman who's in the mix is kind of a red herring. She's irrelevant, really. But she signifies something very important in the marriage.

Whereas the wife feels. second best or she feels like she's on a par with this woman. Like I wouldn't want to have another woman in my marriage. Absolutely not. And that's what this feels like. Because I'm the woman in his life. He's the man in my life. And that's it.

But I also think if this was another man, if this friend was a man, I don't think he would, the friend would be inserting himself into the marriage. Like, you know, they may have a completely different conversation. and he may say, oh, sounds like she's a bit ADHD. And she's been assessed, full stop, end of sentence. They wouldn't say that.

Well, I don't know what they would say. I mean, I say that all the time because I love diagnosing people's pure and diversities. Obviously, I'm not qualified to do that in any aspect, but I do do that. But you would not sit with someone else's husband for hours discussing his wife, giving him information. The only way that I would do that is if she was one of my best friends. But that's what I mean. If you were doing it out of a sense of love and protection for her. For her best interest.

And for the two of them to try and help bring them some sort of clarity. But it would always be because I'm on her side. This, the whole thing. Is she married? Is the other woman married? Oh yes. Well, she has a baby. I don't know if she's married.

But she doesn't mention a partner. She doesn't. Because that also changes things. Is she married? Is she happily married? Is she a single mum? Like, what's the deal here? Don't know.

She doesn't say. There's just a lot in here that. makes me feel very uncomfortable. I agree. I agree. And that stuff needs working out. Because if you're telling your woes about their marriage to somebody else, another woman, that's a big problem.

Yeah. I completely understand why she is so angry about this. And I would think very carefully about how to address it. Because he's not going to stop being friends with her. Their friendship proceeds their relationship. But then that's a problem. that's a big problem I'd really feel for you

I do too and thank you for the dilemma and I wish you well I don't really think we've solved it well we seem to be on a theme this week your meltdown is having a tantrum on the paddle court no right

excuse me I'm about to have a tantrum about this now because I didn't write that down you wrote it down I did yeah maybe maybe maybe I don't want to bring that today is that your meltdown What?

Maybe you don't want to bring that to that. You're forcing me to bring meltdowns. I mean, I could have a meltdown over absolutely anything right about now. I literally could have a meltdown over that can. Oh no, don't do that. I can have a meltdown about anything. I could. I mean, call it a gift.

A special talent? Listen. Could you go and Britain's got talent and have a meltdown? Would anyone press the golden buzzet for you? They might. Do you think? They might. I did have a tantrum on the paddle court.

I did. Did you throw your racket? No, I didn't throw my racket. I would have loved it if you'd thrown your racket. Well, I would have hurt my racket and I love my racket. No, what happened was I was in a tournament. You really want to know it? Yeah, yeah, I do.

Do you really? Yeah, I do. I've done a lot of tournaments recently. Yes. Is it like tournament season? Is it like Wimbledon in the pedal world? Must be. Because I've just got every week, I've been at a different tournament.

I guess it's the summer and anyway. So there's certain ways of doing tournaments when you're on multiple courts, okay? And the guy, the place where I was doing, I don't love him anyway. He rubs me up the wrong way. You know when you see somebody and you just instantly don't like them?

He runs the place. He's one of the coaches there. So you know, you just instantly, yeah. That's this guy. He's just, I find him abrasive and I find him, I don't know. He just winds me up. So when I have literally no estrogen in my body, he is not the guy I need to see because he's just going to be on the receiving end of it, right?

It's like, estrogen makes me definitely more polite. I didn't realize how impolite I was until the menopause. And also, don't really care. that's also interesting because with estrogen I do care without estrogen I don't okay you know yeah that's like kind of what's happening here

also I don't care that don't care okay I don't even care about that really don't care and I thought this morning really I should have woken up with some sort of like rage remorse but I didn't okay I sort of said the words to my friend because I felt like I should say that I felt a little bit remorseful over my rage

but I don't Okay. Anyway, he basically ran at this tournament really badly. And what happened was, it ended up that I was on a court with three men for the entire duration of the tournament. Right. So I'm always going to lose because it's set up that way.

I can't win against two other men. So whoever was on my team, no matter how we rotated, I was always the only woman on the court. Yeah. Okay. Then he kept coming over for the score, and I kept saying, no, no, we've lost.

And after like the third time, he came in, what's the score? the score, I said, it's 5-2, he goes to who? I said, to them, because I'm the only woman on the court, because it's set up so that I lose. I couldn't believe I even said that. So he goes, I haven't set you up, which I can't even tell you. Literally, was that a red rag to a ball. What are you getting defensive for? I said, I didn't say you set me up. I said, it's been set up. Now, at this point, everyone was coming off the court. So there's 12 other people there. I said, it has been set up so that I lose.

He goes, well, I just pulled it around him. It was the only fair way to do it. I said, stop saying it's fair because it's not fair. I said, it's fair for everybody else here. Everyone could hear it. Now everyone's watching me. It's fair for every single other person here. The only person it's not fair on is me.

Were they getting their popcorn out at this point? Adam was like, what's going on? And then my friend Sharon came over. She's like, what's going on? Get off the court. Listen, I wasn't wrong in what I was saying because it was a really ass-upward way of organising it and what we should have done

is just kept rotating so that... There were two women. There were two women, he said, but there weren't enough women and I can't do this and I can't do that. But you could have done a round robin so that we're all changing courts every round. Yeah. So that everyone's playing with different people.

That's how I've always done it. But he sort of went off and I went off and then I had to get back on the court with three more men. And they were lovely the guys. I mean, you know, and I think, you know, no one wanted to play with just me against two other guys because they were going to lose.

Yeah, it's just how the game's set up. But then I'd already throw in the tantrum. And then embarrassingly, I ended up in the semi-final. I ended up in the final. Oh! So he goes, you see, you see, you ended up in the final anyway. I was like, okay, I said it wasn't about the winning

or the losing. And then someone apparently said, oh, I'm sure if she was winning, she wouldn't have caused such a fuss. And then Adam said, you're missing her point. it's not that she was winning or losing, she's saying that it's unbalanced, which it was.

So I was right in what I was saying, but the way I went about it was completely an assy rule. You still got to the final as it gets to the final. Did you win? No. No, because I was playing against Adam. And my friend Sharon, who's an amazing player, I normally play with Adam or with Sharon.

Yeah. And then the guy who I was in the final with, he's like, oh yeah, let's do it. First, she's my friend. He's my husband. I said, I'm telling you now we're not winning. I'm telling you now I know how they play. So, yeah, so that was my tantrum.

Okay. You lost your own husband and friend. I don't know if that's better or worse. It's kind of better. I didn't. It's kind of better. At that point, literally, because when it was the semi-finals, I was about to leave. And Sharon said, you can't leave.

I said, I actually can leave because I just need to get off this court. And he's like, you're in the semi-viles. I had to stay. Yeah, you did. Well done for staying. And giving everyone else five minutes of amusement in their day. Now everyone will be talking about me as the Karen. at the David Lloyd. I mean, they might be. No, they will be. They will be. Because I would be.

Like I said, I was right in what I was saying. Yeah. I was wrong in how I went about it. But you have no remorse. But I had, but I also had no way of stopping it. It was just pouring out of me. Yeah. Now, I do believe that when I have my implant tomorrow, yeah, by next week, that wouldn't be happening. So what is it about? Well, it's like PMT, isn't it? It's like when you're in the full throws of PMT and you know deep inside somewhere you know that you're being a little bit unreasonable irrational

snappy bad tempered whatever it is your being but you also can't stop it it's like you have a vague insight somewhere in the middle of the rant I think I'm being a bit of a unreasonable bitch but also I can't not be I can't stop this train it is in motion that is how I feel and then my gorgeous friend Sharon she's like should we sit she's so calm

She's so calming. And she's like, should we just sit down for a minute? And I was like, okay. And I sat down and I said to, I know I'm really hormonal. I know I am. I am aware of it. I said, I just can't turn it off. And he really, which winds me up.

She goes, I think maybe you shouldn't do his sessions again. I think that's a really good idea. Good plan. What's your amount now? Just make it juicy. Make it juicy. I don't know if it's juicy, but it. Just make it, make it up.

No, it's true. I went to the theatre on Saturday night. It was very warm. I wore a new dress. Another new dress. Another new dress. It was just a little like cottony dress. You know, it was quite cute.

Anyway, you know, first time wearing it. Come home and as we're pulling into the driveway, I get a WhatsApp on the family group from Josh, accompanied by a photo that just says, who the fuck? fed Bieber, she's just vomited up everything all over the house. I just thought, oh, really? Because I fed her four hours ago.

Really, like, I'm sure it's fine. I'm sure it's fine. What do you mean? I'm sure it's fine. I'm like, you know, children like to exaggerate things. I come home. Can I just say, before you go on this story, you are such a mix of deeply dramatic and deeply flippant.

And I never know which one is you're going to be. Switch is it? It can be both. It can be both. But not at the same time. No, not at the same time. Just for clarity, Beba eats for dinner, like a 500 gram sausage of a mix of raw meat, bone and awful, right?

Yeah, it's raw. She has vomited up the whole thing in its entirety, but at the top of the carpeted stairs, And the raw meat, bone, offal and gristle has cascaded down in like a raw meat dog sick fountain down the stairs. And that is what I came. Like a fondant. Like a chocolate fountain. Like a fountain of raw meat sick.

And that is what I came home to. So because you're your dress. So I go into the under the kitchen sink. Obviously, of course, my carpet cleaner scrubber with the scrubber. thing on the end. No, no, it's finished. It's gone. Don't have one. So I'm now having to use anything and everything that I can find, like old dishcloths, a bucket of water, banish spray. And I tuck my new dress into my knickers, because I do not want the sick on the dress. And I am bent over on the stairs, like scraping this. And all I can think is I'm going to have

maggots in my carpet because it's hot and there's raw meat that's been full. And I must have been there 15 minutes and then I turn around I hear Ollie behind me says, nice view and I turn around and he is standing at the bottom of the stairs watching me in with my

dress tucked in my knickers eating a magnum that's his only comment nice view I can tell you is that he is lucky that wasn't me because can you imagine

I can't. I don't think he'd still be breathing this morning. No, he, I would have lunged for him. I, I just didn't. All I could say was, we're going to have maggots in our carpet. I was obsessed with waking up the next morning to find maggots from the meat. I can't, it was, it was the most unpleasant ending to a Saturday night. It was fucking gross.

And then I called the dog a fucking bitch and then he got really upset with me. Don't say that to her. I'm like, excuse me, while you're eating your mask. Yeah. You clear up the sick. Yeah. All her bad. She wasn't well.

No, she, I don't know what it was, but it was, she was sick. I know, but like, do it in one place. She's a doll. It couldn't have been a worse place to do it. That is my meltdown. It was special. It's so gross. Yeah, it was gross.

It was fucking gross. Right, you can read the listener meltdown. I think you might enjoy it. Reading out someone's rant that isn't your own. You know what? I think I will. Hold on. Hi ladies, rant incoming. Last night, my neighbours stopped my son on his way out and asked him if he'd feed and look after her cat twice a day for two weeks while she's away.

Her cat sitter cancelled and now she may have to cancel her holiday. He politely said, no. He's going to festivals and wants to enjoy his freedom over the summer. He told me and I felt sorry for her, so I texted. our dog sitter to see if she had any availability. They replied saying they could only cover the second week. I passed on the details anyway, thinking it was better than nothing.

She replied, this is no good, what am I meant to do for the first week? Then ask me if I could put something on my school WhatsApp group, which I did. She does not have kids who are at school anymore. I didn't get any replies. She then texted again tonight asking me to ask my son to reconsider.

I haven't replied because why has her fucking cat become my problem? I have my own life and my own pets sort out. I mean... That is a bit of a chutzpidik, isn't it? If a neighbour did that to me this week. You would probably go and strangle the couch. Well, I wouldn't. No, I'm not aggressive. I'm not like aggressive and violent.

I just feel it. I don't act on it. I'm not. I literally just can't turn my words off. Yeah, it is a good thing she hasn't asked you that. Like, I would literally tell her where to go. Do you know what though? Has she offered to pay the son? Because it's not like that hard to look after a cat. You just got to go in and put some food down. He's not there. He's at festivals. He's away.

Yeah. And also I'm surprised the neighbour didn't ask her to do it. Yeah. Well, maybe that's what she was fishing for. I mean there must be, anyway, whatever. Her cat is not my fucking problem either. And I really don't have his food. It's also not my problem.

Right, come on. Let's just go. Okay, let's go. Let's go. So let's just get implanted. Should we get you a caramel tea and an implant? No. I just need some estrogen and everything will be okay.

I can't supply that, but you know, roll on tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah.