40ish - The Cult of Air Fryers & Bad Pillow Talk

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

This week on 40ish: Lauren has joined the cult of air fryer ownership and Nicole shows off about her ‘Megazone’. A listener is told something rather disturbing by the naked man lying next to her in bed and one woman is desperate for her sister and her lover to stop spamming her with their dance videos. We would love to hear from you!  To share your dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book “HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's topped with a sauce made from ghost peppers and oncho chilies. If that doesn't send a chill of anticipation down your spine, nothing will. Get your ghost pepper sandwich today at Popeyes before it ghosts you for another year. Chicken from Popeyes. What the actual? You don't think that would be weird? I don't think there'd be shockwaves through the universe. I think it would be like, wow, I didn't have them down

as actually like that was going to happen. I don't think they're doing ballroom dancing. Like Foxtrot off, mate. They're not doing ballroom dancing. They're probably doing like TikTok-y type stuff. Oh, I'm sorry. That is tragic in your 40s to be TikTok dancing with your new lover. I think we're in platonic love.

We do everything together apart from sex. Say it. We don't bath together. You said this the other day. We don't actually shower together. We don't shower. We are always dressed. Will that cover it?

We don't shower. We are always dressed. Will that cover it? Before we jump into the show, we're very excited and honoured to tell you that we are currently part of Spotlight. Spotlight is a project from Apple Podcasts which highlights a creator or creative team every couple of months. And they've chosen us for the month of September. Apple's editorial team believe that you will all want to be spending a lot more time with us and we definitely want to be spending more time with you. So they kindly put us together. Thank you so much to Apple Podcasts. We really hope you enjoyed this brand new show

and we hope you stick around to talk about all things midlife. Hello, everybody. Welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Laura Mishkin. This is the brand new podcast that navigates the challenges and absurdities of 40-something life and we're going to solve all your dilemmas. Or attempt to.

In the coming weeks, we're going to discuss your problems, issues and rants that you have kindly shared with us and also divulge some of our own stories and the mess of navigating midlife. and also divulge some of our own stories and the mess of navigating midlife. Basically, it's just to make us all feel better and not weird or worse about the mundane chaos that comes with middle age. What's been going on this week? I'm feeling quite smug. Smug? Yep, what are you smug about?

I've bought an air fryer. I've joined the cult. Smug? Yeah. I don't think you should feel smug. Do you know why I feel smug? Not because I've got an air fryer because they are 10 a penny,

but because... Now let me guess. Yeah. Let me guess. Firstly, let's just break this down. Yeah. Firstly, you've been against air fryers for a long time.

Deeply against. Almost protesting. Well, and almost quite cutting about mine, quite frankly. And also I did put out a little poll with my friends and the general consensus was, no, it's not for you, Lauren. Right. So why would you feel smug about buying one?

That doesn't make sense. Normally you would have felt like, oh, I can't believe I bought it. You would have felt ashamed of buying an air fryer, actually. Well, I sort of did it as a finishing A-level gift for my middle son because he was desperate for an air fryer in the house. Right. Because he really wanted to cook his chicken. Right.

And his air fryer chips. So you must have felt like, so the smugness must come from a place that you got a really good deal on an air fryer. I did get a good deal, but it's not about the deal. And also you wouldn't get an air fryer because you're very specific about your house and you're very house proud and everything's got a place. So to stick a massive air fryer in your kitchen feels,

it feels wrong to me. Something's not sitting right. So the smugness, it must be something like, I don't know, you've got something like matches like a piece of furniture or it's got to fit in with your, does it? Yes. You didn't, you didn't get, you've got something that matches a piece of furniture. It's got to fit in with your... Yes! You didn't. You didn't get.

You didn't. I have got a beautiful sky blue air fryer that blends so seamlessly with the wall, it almost renders it invisible. And it's small. It's perfectly on the counter. It renders it invisible. It won't be invisible. Nicole, it's an aesthetic delight.

Is it? Yes. Where'd you get it from? Amazon.co.uk. A small little bespoke site that we're not sponsored by. Not yet. Hold on. You found an eggshell blue small, small air fryer just for one child.

Just for one child. So it's for one meal. Yeah. Right. Because I don't really need to use it. And you've matched it up to your kitchen and this is why you feel smug. Yeah. Okay.

Because I feel like I've made him happy. The kitchen doesn't have this monstrosity sitting on the counter. So rude. So mean. So rude about my airfare how very dare you it almost looks retro i actually i've got to be honest i've got the hump i've got the hump about the air fryer yeah i've got the hump are you just jealous my lovely lovely blue air fryer i'll make you some crispy chickpeas in it oh i do like your chickpeas no No, listen. No, no, no. No, I'll tell you why I've got the hump.

Firstly, I haven't seen it, so I don't know. Secondly, I've upgraded my air fryer, so we'll get to that in a minute. Sorry. I've upgraded. How does one upgrade? You get a different one. So what do you mean? This, right. I got like a cheapy one. It was about, I don't know, 40, 50 quid again off amazon yeah i thought well let's see and we have used it literally every day of my life it's very good for my kids my kids are 16 and 13 so they can make their own stuff in it as well like you said and we it was falling apart i can't even tell you i kept having to screw it back together and i thought oh wow you used it to death i did use it to death and so then me and my husband, we had like this naughty, liberated moment.

Like, should we get a new one or should we go really flashy? And we did. We got the Ninja. And you know what it's got on it? What? A megazone. What the fuck is a megazone? I actually don't know. But it sounds...

What do you mean a megazone? It's got like... So yours has got one drawer, I assume. A drawer, yes. So mine's got a very wide drawer yeah and it's got a really is this what we're talking about we are middle-aged this is the sort of shit that makes us happy so and it's got a separator in the middle right so you can put one drawer on at a time and then you can time it so that both drawers come on whenever you want them double oven basically so let's say you're cooking a jacket potato and a piece of salmon

obviously they cook at different times so you can time it so it all finishes at the same time but here's the beauty if you've just got a lot of food you can take out the divider you hit mega zone and that shit cooks everything wow i know it's big is it but it's not a monstrosity is it ugly I was about to say is it ugly let's get back to my hump oh the hump you have with me yep the hump I have with you

come on because I feel like I have been flying the flag of air fryers for quite a while and you have always been

quite dismissive if I'm honest quite degrading if I'm honest degrading yeah wow i'm honest degrading yeah you've been degrading about my air fryer okay yeah it's a bit much i'm sticking with it okay yeah yeah sticking no i'm thinking about it and you know what yeah i think that's the right word so you've been degrading dismissive and also have like shamed me a little bit about my air fryer right and it's always been like i just don't think i need one i just don't know why you need it i just don't know

it's been a lot of chat about the small oven about the fucking air fryer yeah no no no no you don't get to come in here and now quote me back to me. But it is just a small oven. Because I've been telling you that for a year. Yeah. That's all it is. It's not a small oven. It's a small quick oven. A small quick oven.

And you kept saying, I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't want anyone using it. All of it. Right. And now coming in here like lady fucking muck with the, I not only have I bought an air fryer,

I feel very smug about my air fryer. Like, like I haven't been trying to get you to get the air fryer. Like I don't even know about air fryers. I don't feel smug about owning the air fryer because I still, I'm not buying into the cult of air fryer. But what I feel smug about is I have managed to get one in the house for the kid that isn't an ugly eyesore in the kitchen. But you see now that feels very pointed. Or your mega zone.

But I don't want a mega zone in my kitchen. That feels very pointed at my new ninja. I've got to be honest. No offence to your ninja and I will still take lunch from it whenever you cook it

in the mega zone or the minor zone or any zone you choose. You wait till you see this mega zone you are definitely definitely you are gonna want to fucking upgrade to this mega zone shit i'm telling you now let's get on with the show just before we dive into your dilemmas a quick disclaimer we're not doctors or healthcare professionals this is a fun space where we share our thoughts, which could be totally wrong. So if there is an issue that

you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Okay, Nicole, what is our first dilemma today? The headline is my boyfriend made a devastating comment. Oh. Hi, ladies. Been dating a guy for three months. We are both early 40s. Last Sunday morning, the kids were all at their dad's and I'm lying in bed with him in my house. We have literally just finished having sex. Oh, morning sex.

Love morning. I love morning sex. Oh, I do not like to even speak in the morning. I know you don't. We'll get on to that. He put his arm around me and said, you know I'm never going to fall in love with you, right? I didn't know what to say. So I sort of shrugged it off.

But now I'm feeling like, what the fuck was that? And what should I do? Whoa. There's no way you're having morning sex because the other morning when I texted you, I had been up since six. It was now like nine o'clock. And, you know, I've been like working for like two hours and I had a million things to do. Like even when I don't speak to you for 10 minutes, I've got lots to tell you. So I had a lot to tell you. So I think I messaged you

what did I say are you awake are you are you awake and it went straight to blue ticking you know about blue ticks don't you yes thank you I I'm 46 not 96 yeah I just have to check because there's some very basic things that you don't know I noticed that you that you answered to one of our listeners yesterday in Instagram and you were giving all of this like technical reason and advice. And I was thinking it's all wrong. She shouldn't be. She shouldn't. She shouldn't. She shouldn't. OK, so I'm just checking. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I do know what blue tick means. So I said, are you awake? It went blue tick straight away. You wrote back barely. I said yes, awake it went blue ticked straight away you wrote back barely I said yes

but not speaking oh yeah yeah so I'm like well when can you have a conversation yeah not yet

you're like ghosted ghosted then you came back about an hour later yeah okay I'm ready for a conversation

I don't know what it was now I can't remember now what it was there's no way you're having morning sex. You can barely send a message. I'm not into the morning.

I'm not into anything in the morning. Anyway, this poor woman, this is absolutely awful. I mean, his timing. Let's just talk about what he said first. But the thing is, is that I am never, you know, I'm never going to fall in love with you. Right? So it's not even a question.

It's just like a statement. Here are my feelings. Here is what I feel about the relationship and its future. After we've just been really intimate, I thought I'd just dump this on you. And I'm in your house, in your bed, naked. I mean, it's awful. It's awful. Aw awful awful awful awful and also we don't know how into him she is because she doesn't say so she might not have been thinking that i'm going to

fall in love with him she might be just as non-committal about it well it's been three months they're probably in that really fun beginning stage but also the stage of where it's a bit like okay so we've dated for a while. We kind of know each other. We obviously like each other. Now what are we going to do? It's that phase, isn't it? A decent human being have a conversation of like,

where are you at? Yeah, this is where I'm at. I'm just wondering where you're at. It's been three months. Or, you know, I really like you, but I don't want a serious relationship right now yeah or something along those lines well any of the above would have been much more preferable this is just mean and a bit stupid and i really feel like he's taking advantage of her while she's

naked and vulnerable in her own bed and they've just had sex. Ow, I'm nasty. No, I don't like it. I don't either. I don't either. And actually, I think if she tells her girlfriends, they would be like, no, he needs to go.

So what would you do? Honestly, put yourself in her position. What do you, I know it's very hard because we've been married for so long, but what would you do? I mean, I did have a not so dissimilar situation. I did have a boyfriend once who directly after sex looked at me and said,

you know I'm never going to marry you, right? Oh, so you've had, she had this happen to you? Yeah. And what did you say? How old were you? Really young, like 19. it's like well i wasn't really like looking to get married now anyway at this age but it was like what the was that what the was that it puts a very weird underline on everything that perhaps wasn't necessary.

Right? Yes. It underlines something that perhaps wasn't even in the space. Like, here's my statement. Suck it up. Yeah. But also the timing. I would recommend she stops sucking anything at this point.

I agree. If I was her, I would digest it. I would go away and think about it. I would discuss it with all of my girlfriends. And on a podcast. Right into us, let us discuss it, bring it into a public forum. And I would really take my time with it.

And then I would say when I was comfortable and I was very together about what I wanted to say, I would say, you know comfortable and I was very together about what I wanted to say I would say you know that wasn't okay and for you to assume that I was going to fall in love with you and let's just have a let's have an adult they're in their 40s right yes let's have an adult conversation about this but don't come in my bed and in my house after we've just been intimate and just blanket statement, something that's actually quite hurtful, regardless of where I'm at, it's a hurtful thing to say. And it's a real assumption. Yes. Like, I know you're obsessed with me and obviously madly in love with me, but you know, I don't feel the same way.

There's so much assumption in it. It's quite arrogant. Very arrogant. I agree completely. Very arrogant. This is not the guy for you that's the that's my general feeling i'm getting look but it depends right it depends how he manages the next bit so if he then says to her oh my god i've thought about it and i'm so sorry and i cannot believe it slipped out my mouth and i really i really do apologize my delivery was terrible then you can work with that also like please deal with your post-sex pillow talk because that's that's not it okay that's not it

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learn how to become a better investor. From placing your first trade to setting up customized stock alerts, we're always by your side. Just a few of the reasons why we are Canada's number one rated online broker by MoneySense. Get started today at Questrade.com. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what? Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin?

Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip. My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Uh, nope. You're on your own there. Could have skipped it. Should have skipped it.

Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals and more delivered right to your door on Skip. Okay, Nicole, before we go into our next dilemma, I've got a little quiz for you. You know, we don't do so well with quizzes. What do you mean? Well, every time we did one at Self-Care Club podcast, it just landed very flat. We had a row or something went wrong always. We won't have a row. It's fine.

It's called, How Middle-Aged Are You? I found it online. We might have a row. You will score one point for every yes answer okay is the aim to score as many points as possible or as few points as possible i need to know what the goal is i'm not telling you it's just to find out how middle-aged you are it'll be very obvious are we going for very middle-aged or very not we'reaged. We're just going with the truth. Oh, okay. I reckon if the goal is to be as middle-aged as possible,

you are going to win by a landslide. Okay, that's quite rude. Let's begin and see what happens. Question number one. You can't sleep past 9am. Yes. No. I mean, what time can you sleep till?

10? 10. Easily. I don't understand that. Does your bladder not, like, get you up? No. So you wake up at 10 and you don't need a wee? I will need a wee when I wake up.

You're not desperate. I'm like, okay, I need a wee, but I'm not, like, dying. Do you not get woken up at like six by your bladder? No. So if I get woken up at like six, it's an annoying time because then I'm just awake and I can't get back to sleep. Oh, God, no. If I was to be woken up at six by my bladder,

I would just go back to sleep. Would you? Yeah. No, because I would at five. Okay. But not at six. One nil. Question two. God. You can't start a movie past 9 p.m absolutely not yes yes yes a big fat who would what sort of person would start a movie at

quarter past nine it's too late i would start a movie at 10 because 11 30 is totally fine for me on a school night yeah you'd start a movie at 10 on a school night? Totally. Yes. Would Ollie watch a film with you at 10? Or no way is he doing that. Of course not. He loves to go to bed early and I love to stay up late. I'm an owl and he is a lark.

Okay, 2-0. 2-0. God. Three. You call your children for tech support. Absolutely not, no. Absolutely yes. And to be fair, you call me for tech support. You'll call anyone for tech support absolutely not no absolutely yes and to be fair you call me

for text you'll call anyone for text you are a tech support slut i would call my dog for tech support because he would be more able to use stuff than me i'm technically you could call your mom for tech support oh don't push it come on now that's very unfair it's true no i would never know absolutely not no okay four you understand what it means to fix typos with tipex yes yeah so is it three one now yeah no three two three two three two number five doctors and police look too young can i just say sorry to interrupt you but i think my daughter both my daughters because i remember when you know you have to get your pencil case list yeah and when it comes through those few days before term and you've got to go to do the smith's run that awful awful smith's run and they look forward to it the whole summer

holiday there's always tippex in that list no you're not allowed to buy it now because i think the children could sniff it no no no they there's definitely tippex and there's definitely pritt stick in both of their lists okay no so they would they would say yes to that as well so i feel like that was an unfair 100 they would feel like that's an unfair question okay tip hex five doctors and police look too young and you've called a 30 year old a kid yeah I do feel like that a lot of the time you know I'm ashamed to say yes because I think I said it a couple of days ago and I said well he's really young isn't he and you said I can't remember who we're talking about you said well he's 30 years old yeah Yeah, that's really young.

Yeah. You know, I'm a whole person older than him. I feel like that's a yes for both of us. So that's four, three. Six. You swap physical ailment stories with your friends. Yeah. Yeah.

Doesn't everyone do that? Standard. I don't think when you're like 22. You don't have any physical ailments. You're talking about your tennis elbow and your sore back. You don't have any. You might have some. It's an unfair question. You might have some physical ailments.

It's an unfair question. You could have physical ailments at 22, but like they're different kinds of physical ailments. I was a terrible migraine sufferer in my early 20s. But you didn't have like, it wasn't a general phone call like, how are you? And rather than just go,

yeah, fine, how are you? I have a list. I have a list. I call it my worry list. A list of people that I need to check in with most days to see how they're feeling. Yeah, that's what I mean. Whether it's they've just had a surgery or whether they're about to have a surgery or whether they've done their back in or, you know, something awful's happened in their life. Like, worry list.

Precisely. That's very middle-aged. That's a yes for both of us. So it's 5-4 now. Yeah. Seven, you write appointments on a paper calendar. Absolutely not, no. Absolutely, yes.

I have my family kitchen calendar and I utilise it. Yippee, you're saying it like you're so super proud of it. I am. Let me tell you something about your paper you're so super proud of it. I am. Let me tell you something about your paper calendar. Don't slag off my paper calendar. I buy it from M&S at the beginning of every December, ready for January. And I love it.

And I own it. And I'm proud of it. You're not proud of it. I am. Okay, well, if I'm not allowed to slag it off, we might as well move on. Okay, so we're five all now. Yeah.

Number eight, you prefer John Lewis to Calvin Harris. Oh, of course I do. Can I just say? That's amazing. John Lewis is my homeboy. I love him much more than Calvin. So, yeah. Well, I think I get a lot more use out of John Lewis than I do for Calvin Harris.

Same. Same. So, six all now. Yeah. Nine. You would rather go to the local farmer's market than clubbing yes what sort of freak in their mid-40s wants to go clubbing i'm really sorry but that i personally think if you are in your well i'm now in my late 40s fyi so are you well you're sort of you're teetering mid to late i'm late because i'm 47

you're 46 there seems to be a big divide between 46 and 47 you're not going to cope well when you turn 47 by the way you're really not i might just boycott that whole birthday i'm going to are you yeah totally okay because you're not she's not good with aging by the way she's just not not my thing so who in their late 40s wants to go clubbing i'd although i do see actually there's something i would like to do these sober raves they look quite fun and you get like things like kombucha and mushroom tea and shit like that there that sounds real that looks great that's that's the most middle-aged thing that's ever come out of your mouth.

You know, I'll tell you something. What? I've never been to a farmer's market in my entire life. What? Yeah. So who's middle-aged now? I'm going to take you to a farmer's market. You're going to love it.

And you better bring a lot of money. Very expensive. A lot of money i'm not funding it i'll take you but i'm not you're not even gonna you're not even gonna give me a i might treat you to like a homemade i bet the sourdoughs are like six quid yeah cool sale everything's a complete rip-off can we move on what's the score number 10 you're winning you're losing yeah 10 you enjoy gardening and or home improvement tv shows oh that is so you did you make this up no i swear this was in the online quiz and i would like to know from me and a yes from you i enjoy gardening and home improvement tv shows i know i think you need two yeses for that and I need two noes for that. I am totally here for Stacey Solomon's Sorts Your Life Out.

I'm so down for that show. I think the score is like 9-7. Do you love a hoarding show? No. I love a hoarding show. I love to see a disgusting house full of hoarded items that is then cleared out and redecorated. Why? Oh my God redecorated. Why? Oh my God, the satisfaction.

What? But you're not doing it. I'm obsessed with hoarding. It's a big thing for me. I know. Because I'm so allergic to even the concept. I know. You would go through my drawers and think that it's appropriate to tell me what I should chuck away.

But FYI, it never is appropriate. I still want to go through your medicine cabinets. You know what? What? You can't. Why? Because it's my home and you need to have some, we need to have some boundaries. It never is appropriate. I still wanna go through your medicine. You know what? What? You can't. Why? Because it's my home and you need to have some,

we need to have some boundaries. Do we need some? Just some. Do we need decluttering boundaries? Do we need a decluttering contract? No, we don't because I just say no and you do back off. Then I stop. Yeah.

Then I stop. Okay, question, I think it's question 11. Do you still call it ecstasy? That's what we're talking about. I think it's question 11. Do you still call it ecstasy? That's what we're talking about. I think they mean the drug. I know. What is it called? Okay, I could be wrong and I could get slated for this,

but I believe they now call it Molly. I think. No. Yeah. Is that what it is now? I think so. I thought it was a different thing. I could be wrong.

I could be wrong. Likely. It's highly likely I'm wrong. I don be wrong. I could be wrong. I'm just saying. It's highly likely I'm wrong. I don't know. You're not actually normally wrong about such things. But, you know, I think it's okay and really, really appropriate that we don't know what it's called. Can I just say, even when it was called ecstasy, I never even took it then. Well, I didn't call it ecstasy then.

What did you call it? You used to say, oh, you would drop an E. Oh, wow. You were cool. I was cool. e oh wow you were cool i was cool the tide has turned but i was cool i never dropped to nothing i'm not saying i did i might have dropped a marlboro light once in the street but i never dropped no e's why are you speaking like that because i never dropped no e's even when i was at glastonbury i didn't go to glastonbury i went twice.

I think I get a point for that. Don't. It's not on the fucking quiz. Come on. Okay, that's the end of the quiz. Well, I think I won and you lost. I'm not so sure, you know. It was like the score at the end was something like 10-7.

I think we're fairly even, Stephen. We're not because this quiz has shown that you had more yeses than me. So that's not even Stevens. If it was even Stevens, it would have been 10. Oh, which it was not. It was 10, 7. Regardless, we're both still middle-aged. But I am more okay with it than you are.

That wasn't the quiz. What do you mean? The quiz wasn't who's more okay with being middle-aged. I'm sorry. Don't just make up your own title of the quiz. I'll just make up that we're Eve and Stephen's. That's okay. When we're actually not.

I'm tossing it up and I'm coming back with the score at the end of this show. Okay. What's our second question from our listener? I'm being spammed by my sister. Okay, I've got a sister. So this is going to be interesting.

I don't have a sister. My sister has recently and suddenly left her husband for another woman. Okay. The other woman was also married and between them there are five kids who are just as shocked as their respective husbands. That's a lot for the kids, right? Yeah, that's a lot. It's a lot of kids and it's a lot for the kids.

The new girlfriend is her daughter's dance teacher. The new girlfriend is her daughter's... Oh, okay, dance teacher. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Okay. Wow. I couldn't care less if she's a lesbian. But what is really pissing me off is the new YouTube channel they've set up sharing their choreographed dance routines.

Oh dear. Oh, it's cringe. Oh, it's cringe. Oh, it's cringe. My sister spams me with these cringey videos up to six a day and then gets annoyed with me if I don't send a gushing response. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's awful. No, that's awful. That's awful.

I want to tell her that I think the way she's conducted herself is appalling and her videos are fucking tragic. Help. Oh, there's a lot. Okay. Oh, there's a lot. That's a big email. I want to preface this whole thing. Yes. Before I say anything. With? With. I have a sister. Uh-huh. Before I say anything. With? With. I have a sister.

Uh-huh. We are very, very close. Yes. We spend a lot of time together. We are the best of friends. And we have one of those relationships that is absolutely brutally honest about everything. Okay. I am brutally honest with my sister.

She's brutally honest with me. Uh-huh. There is no one else in the world that i could say the things that i say to my sister to anyone else and get away with it and vice versa if you left adam and i left ollie and we ended up together and we started a youtube dance it's not that weird it's not that weird sorry it's not that weird no the bit of us ending up together isn't the weird bit. No. The weird bit is the choreographed dance videos. No. No. I was saying the weird, the thing that wouldn't be weird would be the YouTube channel.

I think us doing choreographed dances on YouTube is weirder. Let's just backtrack. Yeah. You think. Yeah. That it's not that weird. Yeah. Okay. Feeling quite nervous you think it's not that

weird if we both left our husbands and ended up together i'm saying i don't do i at this point have to say to you that you know i'm not gonna fall in love with you right wow we've just had sex i can't believe you're saying that now your timing's awful what the actual you don't think that would be weird i don't think there'd be shockwaves through the universe. I think it would be like, wow, I didn't have them down as actually like that was going to happen. But what I'm saying is, how would Lisa respond to you spamming her with choreographed dance videos of you and your new lover six times a day? And then she's like, actually, Nicole, I'm at work. I don't have time to do seven.

You know? and then she's like actually Nicole I'm at work I don't have time to do seven you know the issue isn't that she's left her husband and she's with this woman that's not the issue I don't give a shit that she's a lesbian I get it

the issue is the spamming yeah honestly I would literally just say I know you don't want to hear this but I don't have time to see all your videos

it's very nice what you're doing I'm very supportive of whatever it is you want to do stop fucking sending them it's enough that's what i would say i think that she wants um validation and witnesses to this love affair you know it's like everybody look at our love but but don't you think that comes from a place of validation because they've done such a 180 on their life yes it's like i need you to see that i've made the right decision yeah and look how happy we are and here is video

evidence of the way that we choreograph love life and dance it's very trite it's a lot you can imagine i would have no truck with this if i was spammed with these videos you you wouldn't but you also have a really big problem with saying what you think sometimes sometimes i do but i i reckon on maybe i would just start like doing the full strictly judging thing on it i would be like that paso wasn't as good as last week's, I felt you really could have lifted her better. Would you say, would you say anything? I mean, I definitely would. I think I would either completely play the game

where I would like pretend to be Shirley Ballas. You wouldn't watch them all anyway. No, I wouldn't. But I would just like pull a Shirley Ballas, give it a number out of 10 and make some sort of comment if I was playing. Or I would just say to her, listen, I've actually like got a life and a job and I don't have time to be watching 45 minutes of your flamenco this morning.

I don't think they're doing ballroom dancing. Like Foxtrot off, mate. They're not doing ballroom dancing. They're probably doing like TikTok-y type stuff. Oh, I'm sorry. That is tragic in your 40s to be tiktok dancing with your new lover it's tragic i'm just sitting here thinking is it any difference to what we do because people we're not in love i reckon just highlighting that

what okay oh now you're backtracking before you were like oh it wouldn't be weird if we left each other and ended up together and started a youtube channel it wouldn't be the most shocking thing that's ever happened in the world we do spend a lot of time together i think we're in plutonic love we do everything together apart from sex say it we don't we don't bath together you said this the other day we don't actually shower together shower we are we are always dressed will that cover it we don't train in the gym together no we don't train in the gym together i didn't go to the gym but if i did go to the gym i probably would only go with you wouldn't i who else am i gonna go with on my own i don't know another lesbian lover that you've met don I don't have any lesbian lovers that I've met so far.

Say it. What do you want me to say? I'm in platonic love with you. Oh my God, why do you need the validation? What are you gonna start doing now? Do you want to carry a key night to me? You know what, I don't need the validation because I know that you are,

but I just like how it's making you really uncomfortable. Yeah, it's making me really uncomfortable. We are in platonic love. Okay. We are. Okay. We have had our own kind of love affair we have we met yeah we didn't meet that long ago no we actually really didn't we met four and a half years no you know what's coming up do you know it's coming up to our anniversary is it november november no no no no you came to record the first

podcast with me just before you were going off on your summer holidays do you remember are you saying it's our five-year anniversary it's coming up because then you moaned on the whole podcast about packing packing i'm still moaning about packing are are you sending me flowers are you taking me out for dinner what's going on are we marking the date no because you you won't even admit that we've had a platonic love affair. I might not admit it on the pod. Listen, if you're listening, she ain't admitting it anyway. She is. I might send you a card. There is no fluff with Lauren. I might send you a token of my affection.

Occasionally I get a little bit of fluff. Like occasionally she'll write me the most gorgeous birthday card or the most gorgeous birthday post. I'm like, oh my God, she actually really loves me. Secretly. But she doesn't ever let anything go. She would never say.

She would never be like, oh, after we see each other after a holiday, I missed you. How are you? Nothing. I do tell you sometimes I missed you. Only when you are literally crumbling without me. Remember last summer? Last summer you were crumbling without me. last summer summer

last summer you were crumbling without me you were in a terrible fucking state yeah even my husband was like when is Nicole

coming home when is she back and then you were like and I hadn't texted you for like a week because I thought I'd just leave you alone you know we spend

a lot of time together and sometimes I think I get on your nerves and I got this message just that the hand wave she's like testing the waters she misses me she cracked first anyway with the sister yeah i would be very honest and i would

say mate stop fucking sending this shit i'm not watching it i'm very happy for you and i trust that you're happy and that you're you've made the right decision that works for you and that's amazing but I just I haven't I don't want to see it it's weird

stop it you want to do it do it I would do similar but don't expect validation from me six times a day it's not going to happen

I'd be like babe I don't have the bandwidth sorry would you actually say that I don't have a sister so it's all hypothetical for me. No, but let's say it was your best friend, Catherine, who'd left her husband for a woman and was spamming me.

Yeah. I mean, I have to say, if it was her, I would absolutely love to watch those videos. I'd actually have them on fucking repeat. And I'd probably spend all my time in bed just watching. So have you tosses up the schools? Yeah. Come on then.

As I said, fairly even Stevens. You have scored eight out of 11. Right. And I have scored nine out of 11. Okay. You know what? It is even Stevens. But I do believe

that in a more macro view of middle age of who's more middle age you or me it's definitely you. Thanks. It just is. Would you agree with that statement?

No, but I think if it makes you feel better about yourself I'll just take the hit. I don't need you to take the hit. Like you don't need to take one for the fucking team. Apparently I do.

You don't. If you need me to fucking team apparently i do you don't if you need me to be more middle-aged to make you still young and cool no i'll suck that up no i don't care because you're the i'm all right with being middle-aged i am middle-aged i'm hosting a podcast about middle age clearly i'm all right with it you're the one that struggles on your birthday yeah i don't it's true's true. I'm just saying that I think I should come with another quiz that is more biased towards me.

That is our show on 40ish. We hope you enjoyed it. If you want to be a part of the show and you want to write in your dilemma, please do. It's hello at 40ish.co.uk. That's 40ish.co.uk. And come and follow us on all of our socials.

We're everywhere. We're on TikTok, YouTube, Facebook for people of our age. Instagram. Oh, Instagram. We can do Instagram in our 40s. Yeah. We're down with Instagram.

I mean, how sad is that to say we're down with Instagram I mean the how sad is that to say we're down with Instagram you can't say that I can't you just did we're on Instagram don't say again I just we're on Insta we're on IS hit us up on the old IS and we'll DM us and we'll reply with like riz. How's that? I don't think the abbreviation of Instagram is IS. Yes, it is. I think it's just Insta. I think it's IS.

Is it? I've never seen that. You might be right. I'm 46. I'm not 47, so I definitely don't have a clue. Anyway. Anyway, come and find us come and find us

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