40ish - The Midweek Meltdown Show: 3am Anxiety, Kitten Heels & Midlife Chaos

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

Welcome to the Midweek Meltdown Show, where we're talking midlife meltdowns, 3am anxiety and the wildly irrational thoughts that hit in your 40s. Proper, deeply middle-aged meltdowns. Lauren wants to know why on earth she thought she needed a pair of white kitten heels. We get into the psychological damage social media does to women in midlife. And there's a double-bagging pillowcase situation that has become far more important than it should be. A primary school teacher shares one of the most spectacularly awkward moments we've ever heard. Another listener has developed a completely separate personality at 3am. At 7am? Completely normal again. If you've ever lain awake overthinking, you'll know exactly what she means. If you've ever had a midlife meltdown, a 3am anxiety spiral, an embarrassing social moment or a thought that seemed completely reasonable at the time, this episode is for you. What's your most ridiculous 40ish meltdown? Tell us in the comments. 💌 Send us your dilemmas and rants: [e-mail]📱 Follow: @40ish.podcast Try AG1 now at https://drinkag1.com/selfcare and get £20 off your first order + 5 AG1 Travel Packs for on the go, a bottle of Vitamin D3+K2, and the Welcome Kit for FREE. No risk with the 30- day money-back guarantee.  Find all details about the health benefits in the link. Study results are on file with AG1, 2023. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices #40ish #MidweekMeltdown #MidlifeMeltdown #WomenInTheir40s #Midlife #Perimenopause #3amThoughts #Anxiety #Overthinking #Sleep #MiddleAge #MidlifeWomen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Do either of you care if I hope I'm contoured? I don't know what to start. It's a sense of achievement that you have sourced it, found it, bought it. it, got it, then sent it back. It's a whole thing. Well, I did. Sourced it, bought it, got it, not sending it back. Oh. But it's... What for? What are you protecting it from? Sweat. Sweat. Mascara, tears of joy, rage and laughter. I don't know. Just standing there, holding the finger of a very serious man. He said nothing, but I have thought about it at least six times a day ever since.

Hello everybody and a big warm welcome to Thursday show on 40-ish. I'm Nicole Kipman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. Here we are again. Here we are again. We were here on Tuesday and we left you on a cliffhanger sort of. We said we're going to leave Tuesday show and we're going to do the meltdowns for Thursday because we have so many.

You seem to have quite a lot. Maybe you should kick us off. Well, I mean if you'd have asked me yesterday, I would have done it with a much more frustrated slash angry slash impatient

slash intolerant tone right today I feel more then okay but that's just how it rolls

what's going on though right I'm going to say something so obvious okay and everyone's going to be like

well yeah what social media okay that's enough is that it End of rant.

Yeah. Yeah. What specifically sparked you off? Because it was at some point yesterday. I was scrolling on Instagram, as you do, you go down a rabbit hole. And I put the, I sort of like yanked myself out of this social media hole. And I thought every single post that I have just seen for the past 10 slash maybe 15 minutes has been somebody or something. selling me something.

Which basically means that something or someone is asking something of me. They either want my money, they want my time, they want my attention. It's just take, take, take. And the whole of social media now is just advert after advert after advert after advert. And if you are lucky enough to see one of your close friends' updates about their kids gone to uni or they're on some gorgeous holiday or a friend of theirs has got married, whatever it is. You're so spent by the time you've seen it that you're kind of like, you're just in such a bad mood because I got sold. I actually wrote it down. Hold on.

I got sold either an app that I have to download, some makeup that I have to download, that I have to buy a supplement, a state of mind. It's now telling me how I should be thinking. And it's also selling me a dog toy. And very rarely I would get Real Housewives come up, which is just fun. But everyone's asking you of something that even like the Real Housewives bloggers, they're still asking you to follow or they're asking you to like something or they're asking you to review something. or they're asking you to, like, it takes so much of your fucking soul.

And the contouring, the contouring, like everything, everything is showing me how to make sure my face doesn't look like it's sagging slash aging. God forbid I go out in the world and I look like a 49 year old. I mean, that's just not allowed because I have to contour the shit out of my face. I have to put contour over my cheeks, my nose. my chin, I now have to contour my chin. I have to contour my chin. I've never contoured anything in my life. I have to contour my hairline. I don't even know how to. Well, I'll tell you exactly who to follow because I was so knee deep. I don't want to. I'd have time for that.

I was so knee deep in this woman and she was amazing. I have to tell you, like she would transform her very beautiful, very young, very flawless face in no time. But the thing is they look very beautiful and flawless before they even put the makeup on. But they've got all the makeup on. They've already got all the makeup on. I know. It's so. mad. Also, who am I contouring for? You, the dog? Do either of you care if I'm contoured? I don't even know how. I don't know where to start. I don't want to. I don't want to put all the brown stuff all over my face. I don't want to. This is how it is. Deal with it. It just robs you of time, energy, self-worth, finances. It's everything, everyone's taking something from you on social media.

There's no connection. There's no room to see any of your old friends on there or connect with somebody that you saw 10 years ago and actually the only way that you know what's going on in their life is through social media. Like that all that shit gets. But used to be Facebook, but no longer. Because that's all ads now.

Facebook is better. Basically, basically, this is the point that I got to is that I think I prefer Facebook. And if that is not a clangor or a drop-the-mic moment in the mid-life space, I don't know. of what is? Well, I, because I write our substack and we've joined substack. And by the way, you can follow us on Substack. We're asking something of you. We are, but not a lot because it's a free subscription. It's called the Midlife Club. But I have discovered Substack and you know what?

There is no selling. You can obviously subscribe to publications that you prefer, but it is a genuinely very heartwarming, supportive community. I put a photo up of my newly arranged rainbow-ordered bookshelves with my little bar underneath. Oh, the love. I saw. The support. I saw. It's so cute. People loved your bar. They really did. They loved your bar. They loved the color coding. Yeah. But substack is a wholesome place. And you can read about any subject in the world. You can read about reality TV or you can read about Chaucer. You can read about music. What's Chaucer? He's a writer, a writer, an old writer. You can read about books. You can read about art. You can read about

about, I mean, any subject in the world people are writing essays about. It's such a nice place. I think this is why I'm so obsessed with reality TV, because it is total nonsense and total escapism. So like when I decompress from my day, I put on reality to Real Housewives or any Bravo show. And then when I walk the dog now, either I'm talking to a friend, or I listen to somebody recapping a Bravo show because it's nonsense. And there's no one who is wrong. robbing me of anything because I get just to listen to something that doesn't mean anything. Can I tell you something so exciting? Sorry, it's nothing to do with it, but it's a bit to do with social media a little bit. You know how we always talk about wanging on, Graham and Maria?

Oh, yeah. And how it's like a little bit like our show. Yeah. A little bit. It's exactly the same I was on wanging on this week. Go on. I was on an episode. As in you wrote in. Yes. What did you write in? I wrote in a comment about the dilemma. And they read it out. What did they say? Oh, well, it was basically about, it was a couple of gay guys who wrote in to say that their friend who just had a baby had to come over to their house and changed the baby's nappy on their, on a blanket, on a rug in their living room.

And then she'd given her the nappy bag and they weren't sure like what to make of this. And I wrote in and they read it out. And you know what was so funny. But what did you write in? I was like, get over it. It's a baby. I've changed my babies on like the bonnet of the car and on airplanes and like everywhere. Get over it.

She wasn't smearing shit in your living room, you know, it's all fine. I was so chuffed to be read out on someone else's podcast. It was so cool. Now you know how our listeners feel. It was such a meta moment. And as Maria started reading it, I was like, oh my God, that's my reply. It was very cool. So now you know.

Now I know. What our listeners feel like when we read their stuff about? I was my own Quazer. Oh. I was on the Zara website. Here we go again, consumerism. Scroll, squirrel, squirrel, squirrel. I don't need any outfits, as we know.

But the model in every single shot for autumn slash winter, 2026, she was wearing a pair of white pointed kitten heels. Now, because the Zara website is so irritating, when you scroll down, obviously it doesn't show you the shoes. Why doesn't it do that? The amount of times I've then got, why doesn't it just give you a buy-the-look? They do that on ASOS, but the thing is on ASOS,

when they say buy the look they always give you a slightly different item annoying anyway obviously i went on a search for them oh sold out in every single size gone did they even exist in the first place who knows they sent me down they must have existed i don't know sorry i'm sorry you want a white kitten hill i can't even explain to you is it a slingback no what is it caught you pointed i can't even explain to you how i can't even explain to you how much a hypocrite you are but i but Because you know what I'm, you know where I'm okay. No, no, they're not a mule. They're a court.

No, I understand. Yeah. And they're like white, white. White. And they're like an inch bit, an inch tall, an inch, right? I cannot tell you the rabbit hole upon which I went to try and find a replica pair of these shoes that I had. That you don't need that. And also don't wear heels.

That I have discussed that on Tuesday. That I have nowhere to wear that. I don't know. I had a whole conversation with my sister in her about it. I was like, what, what am I going to do with them? She's like, you can wear them when we go out for Christmas dinner. You can walk in them. It's not good for a night out.

It's not the point. It's a sense of achievement that you have sourced it, found it, bought it, got it, then sent it back. It's a whole thing. Well, I did. Sourced it, bought it, got it, not sending it back. Oh! Will they sit in my cupboard never worn? Possibly.

Where am I going to actually wear them to? Don't know. Well, let's book somewhere where you can wear them. Why don't we just do that? Do I even like them? I don't know. I like call them Tarts Trotters. No, because they're so low.

They're not tarty or trottery. That's the whole point of a kitten heel is they're so frumpy. I will be the one deciding that. If it's so frumpy to wear a one inch kitten heel, that's what I'm in a dilemma about. It's going to be like the Uniclo's slacks. You know what I mean? The girl in Zara is looking so cool.

They were not good. No. They were not good. But they're not going to look cool on me. They're going to look like, Why are you wearing a pair of one inch heels? What genes are you wearing them with? No. I can't wear them with a skinny gene.

No. Wide 83. No. I don't know what I'm wearing them with. Nothing at this point. The crotch should stickers that you'll buy me for Christmas. Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes.

While others follow the noise, We follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. What's your other meltdown? Right. My parents moved house about a thousand times this summer, right? So they moved out of their old house

into a rented bungalow whilst they did up their house and then they moved back in. So it's been a lot of moving backwards and forwards and backwards and forwards. And there's been the day that they were moving and I was on bed duty making the beds.

How annoying? It's like the word. That is so. job. My mum double bags her pillows. As in, she has two sets of pillow cases on each pillow. Yeah.

So when she takes one off to wash, she's already got a fresh set on. No, it's not it's not for that reason. What's the reason? Well, I don't know because I never really got a clear answer. Is it a pillow protector? Well, it doesn't look like a pillow protector. It looks like a pillow case on top of a pillowcase.

Right. How annoying is it putting on a pillowcase? Do you know how much more annoying it is putting a pillowcase on top of a pillowcase? It's less annoying than a duvet cover. But you wouldn't put a duvet cover on top of a duvet cover. I wouldn't, no. But you also wouldn't put a pillowcase on top of a pillowcase. I would only put a pillow case on top of a pillow protector, of which I am very passionate. When I then brought this forward and I said to both of my parents, why are we double bagging the pillows?

Yeah, I don't think we should say double bagging. It's other different connotation. know what you mean. Double protection. Why are we doing this? Someone was like, well, why, what do you mean? Yeah. You've got to go out and then you've got to still cry.

Okay. Please. Thank you. Bye-bye. Yeah. They, both of them had absolutely no idea that there was another way to not do. I'm sorry, I have to say double back because I don't know how us to double what? double case. So this has just been their norm for 50 years. But I don't think it's just their

norm for 50 years. I think this is a thing, right? It's not. It's not a thing. Unless it's a generational thing, but my mum doesn't do that. It protects the pillows. I'm like, from what? She's talking about a pillow protector. But it's not a pillow protector. So I said, but it's giving you double washing. Yeah. And double ironing, but they were all ironed. Oh. Right. Why are you doing that? Why? Anyway, my, my thought was, I then got worried. Like, I'm, I, underbagging my pillows. Are you? Do you use pillow protectors? Like my pillows were somehow less than. Do you use pillow protectors? No. What? That's not normal. What? No. When I wrote the uni list, the uni shopping list, and I handed it out to people who also as well. It had pillow protectors.

And a couple of people like, what's a pillow protector? I was like, what, apparently have you been living on? You have a pillow and then you have a pillow protector and then you have a pillow protector and then have a pillowcase. So you do the same thing. It's not double bagging though. It is. It doesn't look like a pillowcase. What does it look like? Well, you can get different types, but it's like a zip-up thing. It's much thinner or you can get padded ones that are much thicker. But it's for. What are you protecting it from? Sweat. Sweat. Mascarer, tears of joy, rage and laughter. I don't know. Life. Life. What do you mean? Like, you're lying on it all night. But you're not, Because you're lying on a pillow case.

That's the point of a pillow case. Yeah, but things can seep through. What mascara is going to see. Or let's say you had a nose bleed, a tooth problem, anything. Boogies. Things can see. You've got a terrible cold. Then your pillow's ruined.

You don't want to ruin your actual pillow. So it goes on. Ruin your pillow from having a cold. You're not. So you're basically double bag too. I knew this was, I knew this was something to bring to you. And also I said to my dad, I'm not sure I'm down with it. I think it's a waste of time and I think we need to discuss it.

Right. And he's like, what is there to discuss? I said, I'm actually going to discuss it on the podcast. But I don't wash the pillow protectors. Every time I wash the pillow cases, I may wash the pillow protectors once a month. But what I am doing is underneath the pillow protector, I've got lovely, clean, perfect pillows, not pillows that are stained with anything. My pillows are lovely and clean and fine.

Oh, that's great. And I have never put a pillow on, another bag on. Like, what is the... But what about when the kids are small and they're sick and they're revolting and they're full of germs and knits and hoagies. But they don't have pillows when they're really small. I'm talking like three, four, five, you know, always pillow protectors. I think this is a really normal thing.

By the way, my daughter is 18. Yeah. My other daughter is 15. Yeah. So that's not a thing anymore. Your eldest is 21? 22. Yeah.

It's going to be 23 in January. Yeah, but your girl's got my mascara, makeup eyeliner. Where do you do the scar is going? Like seeping through. Lip gloss like through the. the pillow case. Do you think my kids and I don't clean our faces before we go to sleep? Listen, teenagers lie around on their beds all day, probably in makeup. I don't know what teenage girls you've been talking to recently.

None. None. Well, apart from mine. Yeah. The teenage girls of nowadays, they are so into their skincare. There isn't a scrap or trace of makeup left on their beautiful, glowing, clean faces because they're using all the Korean fucking skincare to clean it all. Listen, this is going to divide the nation into pillow protector people and non-pillow protector people. And I reckon we are going to get emails on both sides of the debate. But you don't have young kids anymore.

No, but I also go to bed and I sleep with a man and we have pillow protector. He doesn't wear mascara and he doesn't have a cold that often. What is going on this pillow protect? Like when you take it off once a month, what's on there? Nothing, but I like to wash them. Sorry, sorry, what? I like to wash them. No, no.

When you take the pillow protectors off to wash, what is on it? Really nothing. No. No. But I still like the ceiling of a clean gel. No, I don't question it. It's how it is. I'm cool.

I knew. It's like a mattress protector. Do you have a mattress protector? Yes. Right. Same thing. It's not. It's exactly the same thing.

It's not. Why? Because a pillow you can actually shove in a washing machine. Yeah. You can't. Oh, well, no, not mine. their temper pillows well so am I

okay I mean I haven't shoved it in a washing machine nor will you because you're wearing it it's like a hundred pound pillow yeah don't do that don't do that but it's also not dirty I literally spend no time thinking about it is though they are full of dust mites

and God knows what they should really be washed my pillows all pillows all pillows not yours specifically but all pillows yeah I'm standing up for the people that don't double bag Like where are my people? They'll write to you, as will mine. I hope so because I'm just not down with this

because it's just more washing and it's more ironing and just no. It's not with the domestic load of the double bagging of the pillows. No. Okay, this is the listener meltdown. Are you ready for it? It's from Jen. Jen says,

Hi, ladies, I have a meltdown for you. It's a super embarrassing story. I am a teacher in a primary school in Newcastle. I'd emailed a member of SLT earlier that day about something. Oh, I know what SLT is because I have a friend who's teacher. What's a senior learning team? Okay. Okay.

I'm pretty sure that's right. I'd emailed a member of SLT earlier that day about something. At lunchtime, I saw him in the corridor and he said, Hi, Jen, I got your email while pointing at me. For some totally unknown reason, as I said, okay, thanks, that's great. my brain had me reach out and take hold of the end of his finger for a solid four or five seconds. I just held the end of his finger while making eye contact. Just standing there holding the finger of a very serious man.

He said nothing, but I have thought about it at least six times a day ever since. Why? Hi, Jen, I got your email. Why? I think she just, like a brain fart. It must have just been like her. He pointed his finger. Great, Jen, I've got your email.

And she just held. Oh, no, that's not okay. It's not at all okay. That's not okay. Do you think he thinks about it six times today? Or do you think that he just gets on with his job? I reckon he just gets on with his life. Yeah, he probably doesn't care.

Jen, just stop thinking, let it go. No, but you, the thing is, is it's so hard to let that shit go. It is. Because every time you think about it, you then just cringe. But like, why, why? Why did I, why did I do that? Yeah, why did you do that?

I don't know. Why did she do that? I don't know. She doesn't know. Jen, why did you do that? But also it doesn't matter. Oh, it's absolutely fantastic. Well done.

Thank you, Jen. Jen, I absolutely love that story. That's special. Yeah, special. Abby, oh, sorry. I really like your nails. Oh, I really like your nails. don't. Oh, they're like a glazed donut. Yeah, they're like a cappuccino. I love it. And you've got

the chrome on top. I have. Yeah, I've got, no, I'm not enjoying them. I'm waiting for the three weeks to be over so I can change it. I'm not, it's not giving me joy. Oh, I think they look great. Thank you. I appreciate that because they're not, they're not doing it for me. I wish I had them on mine. I wish I had red on mine. And I hate the fact that I got rid of my red because the red was giving me pure 80s power bitch. They look great red. I know. I'm going back to the red. Anyway, this is from Abby. She says, Hi, girls. I have a rant. For various reasons, I'm sleeping really, really badly at the moment, and I seem to have

developed a completely separate personality who comes alive at 3am. Daytime me is quite sensible. Nighttime me is a fucking lunatic. Last night, I woke up at 3.17 a.m. and remembered an email I'd forgotten to reply to that day, which I then sent. Then I started worrying that I'm, not sleeping, which obviously made me even less likely to sleep. Then my husband was breathing too loudly. By 4.30 a.m. Oh, I think just breathing. Just breathing. By 4.30 a.m. I had mentally resigned from my job, divorced my husband, wondered if I should retrain as a florist, asked chat GPT to plan my boxing day lunch, bought six cocktail glasses from Vinted, and decided that I definitely

needed to move to France. At 7 a.m. You don't need to move to France. At 7 a.m. At 7.m. You don't need to move to France. At 7 a.m. my alarm went off and I'm back to normal and none of it ever happened. I feel deeply middle aged love Abby. I mean, I don't wake in the night, but I can understand the nighttime ruminations of madness, the thoughts you have in the night that by the morning it's like, I don't even know what that was, but it's fine. I had a night's sleep last night when you know when you wake up and you think, I actually don't think I've been to sleep. I actually haven't. There's no way I've been to sleep. You know when you have like a sort of, but you have been to sleep, but it's so, like, top-level sleep.

Yeah. What is it? You can't reach the REM state. Yeah. There was no REM going on yesterday. I don't know what it was. The dog was up, she was down, she was up, she was down. She was so unsettled last night.

I can't even tell you. And then at like about 420, I was just literally talking to my husband as if he was away. I bet he loved that. I'm sure he really appreciated that. You know, he never replied. He actually got up at one point, it went to the loo and then came back, and I was still chatting to him and he still didn't reply. What were you chatting to him about for a... The dog.

Oh, the dog. The dog. Oh, she's so restless. I wonder if it's because Daisy's gone. Why is she so restless? Oh, she's barking again. Why don't we do this? Why don't we do that?

Oh, I've had the worst night's sleep. I wanted to have a whole cat up. He's like, shut up. He didn't even stay sharp. He just literally as if I didn't exist. You've just reminded me that we also didn't sleep well last night because our smoke alarm went off twice in the dead of night. And the first time it went off, I thought it was the alarm. So I was sure there was a burglar in the house.

So I just sort of gave all of the elbow. I was like, the alarm, the alarm. As in like, please get up and deal with the burglars because I won't. Yeah. And he did, got up, put on pants and a t-shirt. And then it stopped. And then he was like, it's the smoke alarm. And then it stopped.

So he went back to bed. And I thought, well, I can't smell smoke. Nothing's on. We're not on fire. I'm going back to sleep. Then it happened again an hour later. And then we had a whole conversation. What is it?

And I remember saying in this. depths of sleep, it's a spider. And he went, oh, okay. And then we both went back to sleep. It probably is a spider though. In my like dead of night state, I thought a spider must have crawled over and it set it off. And also it's September, September spiders. But it was the way he just went, yeah, okay. That sounds great. Yeah, great. Good. Let's not deal with the fire in our house. Yeah. You came downstairs. It was nothing. No, no, nothing. It just, I'm sure it actually was a spider. But my God, it was annoying. I mean, that is horrible because then doesn't it like catch you in quite a fright?

Yeah, it really did in the middle of a dream. Yeah, it was actually annoying. But what's also annoying is when there is actual smoke, it doesn't seem to go off. Yet when a spide crawls across it, it does. I might need to have that looked at it. That's our show. That's our meltdown show. Yeah.

Please send in yours. Yeah. We really love them. We really love them. I might bring more than one because sometimes I do have more than one. Do you? Yeah. Share with us.

The more embarrassing, the happier makes us. The single one is fantastic. The single one is special. Yes. That's my favourite one of the day. I love it. Me too. Thanks for listening.

Thanks for tuning in. We'll be back on Tuesday with a brand new episode. If you want to be in touch, all of our details are below in the show notes. But it's hello at 40ish.com.com. See you then. We're some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some, the future of money to others.

We see crypto's trillion dollar swings, the end of jobs, or the end of human struggle. We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com.