40ish - Toxic Friends, Snoring and Dangermouse

Episode Date: January 9, 2025

This week on 40ish Lauren has bought an electric fabric shaver and she feels epic. Whilst Nicole’s brain fog means she forgets the word “stairs”. A listener is struggling with a toxic friend and another lady wonders if she should end her relationship because of her partner’s snoring.  We would love to hear from you!  To share your dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Go to ZOE.com to find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. You can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 to get 10% off membership. As a ZOE member, you’ll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. Use 40ISH10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This episode is sponsored by Zoe. Hello everyone, just a couple of things if we may. Please, if you are listening to the show and you have not followed, please hit the follow button at the top of the page now. 25% of you are already following this show and it makes such a huge difference to an independent pod like ours. So please, wherever you're listening, hit that follow button now. And also if you want more from us, please come over to our subscription on Apple Podcast

to get this show and self care Club ad free. And the other night he was snoring so loudly, I actually was having a dream about being run over by a lorry. I've got a wool setting. Yes, I have. A hand wash wool setting on my washing machine. I do too, but I don't trust it. I think by the time I'm 50, if I threw a party, there'll be no one there.

I hear you. Hello everybody, welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishclon. This is the podcast that navigates the challenges and absurdities of 40 something life and we solve all of your dilemmas. Or we do attempt to. Every episode we discuss your problems, issues and rants that you've kindly shared with us and we also divulge our own stories and our own rants about the mess of navigating midlife.

How are you this week? Your stomach is very noisy. It's really loud. I think you need to eat something. It's a lifelong issue. I'm a very noisy digester. Anyway, how am I this week? I bought something yesterday and I feel epic. You feel epic. I feel epic having bought it. Epically mid middle-aged?

Epically middle-aged. Should I tell you what it is? Should I guess? You'll never guess. Epically middle-aged. Well it won't be pots and pans because we've already done that. We've covered that. We've covered pots and pans. You feel epically middle-aged. It must be something to do with the kitchen. No, no. A new iron. It is clothing related. Oh, because my next guess was a new Hoover. Oh, not the handheld Dyson thing, which I've really got my arm, but it's way too expensive. No, not that. It's clothing related. Yes. I'm just going to tell you, because you're never going to guess it. It's an electric fabric shaver. Woo woo! Do you know what it does?

It shaves. Shaves your fabric. Shaves the bobbles off your woolies. You know when you've got a lovely wooly and it's bobbly or you have like a tracksuit, it's bobbly and then it just looks crap. It just, you just, it shaves it and it looks brand new again. Do you know, Daisy has a pair of tracksuit bottoms

that were really expensive and they have bobbled. Would you like to borrow my? You know I would. Would you? I really would. She would be so happy. Because Zach has already done the test run. Yeah. He has a tracksuit that was very expensive that he doesn't wear because it's a bit bubbly. He was like he opened the box. He was really into it. Put the batteries in, set it all up for me. When I say set it up, you put two batteries in and you press the switch. It's not that even for me, it wasn't that hard. And it's also not Bluetooth operated or anything like that. It doesn't need pairing with something. It didn't. And he shaved his tracksuit and he was just winning at life. And for clarity, Zach is 18.

18. 18. So maybe it's not just a middle-aged thing. Listen, I spent the 14.99 but we are all benefiting and I'm very happy to lend it to you for Daisy's tracksuit. You really are, aren't you? Yeah. You know what? I love this for you. Thanks. I do. I think it's almost more exciting than a new iron. I've got a plan this week that I'm going to take one or two jumpers a night and shave them while I watch TV. I'm going to rejuvenate my wardrobe. How bubbly is your wardrobe? What's going on with your woolies? They're so bubbly. And I thought binning all these jumpers and going to buy all new jumpers and I thought no I'm going to spend 14.99 and rejuvenate my own wardrobe. Save me the money. I have to tell you, it's a lot less fun than getting all your jumpers. But how are you

washing them? Mine are not bobbly. I don't really wash them that much. I think I just do too much in them. Maybe they're just dirty. No, no, they're not dirty. It's like in the armpits they rub. When it rubs on something else or you wear a coat and it rubs on the front of the jumper. I love that you've gone for the shaver rather than just a bit of like a bit of washing powder. No they're not dirty they're bubbly. You said you don't you don't wash them.

Oh not often because if they've got if they if they've got cashmere you can't put that in the machine there is cashmere washable stuff but you know. I've got a wool setting. Yeah so. A hand wash wool setting on my washing machine. I do too but I don't trust it. Well interesting that this has come up because Adam has jumpers and he always says that they shrink in our washing machine. Anyway I have since put on these new jumpers that he's got on the hand wash wall setting. And I was a little nervous, I have to say, and I used a different fabric softener and

a different washing powder. I don't know why. I just felt that it needed it. And I even shoved in one of Daisy's very cheap sheen jumpers because I thought, God, that's going to shrink. You blow on it, it's going to shrink. They all came out and I even took them out of the washing machine and laid them flat. I know. Very good. Very good. Very impressive. That is our definition of a machine. And they haven't shrunk. Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a quick disclaimer, we are not doctors or healthcare professionals. This is just a fun space where we share our thoughts, which could be totally

wrong. So if there is an issue that you're seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. So our first question of the show came in from someone on Instagram. We're going to keep it anonymous. She DM'd us. Help, she says. I want to be petty, but my maturity and emotional intelligence won't let me. I have a friend in inverted commas. She's inconsistent with her emotions towards me, dismissive, uninterested in me. And after every interaction with her, I feel shit. Oh, I know. I slowly distance myself from her. And I know if I tell her anything of how I'm feeling, she simply won't

care. She sounds awful. She's terrible. The urge to be petty and passive aggressive is so strong. So was in capital letters, by the way, Lauren. I want to leave every WhatsApp group she's set up. I want to obviously leave her out of social events and say no to every invite she extends. But of course I won't do any of this because I'm better than that. And I know it's petty, but in capital letters,

the urge is real. Gosh. I don't think that she is alone in feeling this way. I think there are plenty of people who've got friends in inverted commas that they don't massively like, but I also don't really... But then that's not a friend. If you have a friend that you don't massively like, that is not a friend. But I also don't understand why she can't leave her out of social events and why she can't say no to invites that she extends if she is dismissive, disinterested and makes her feel shit. It sounds like, and this is an assumption, it sounds like they

are all part of a similar social circle. Doesn't it? I mean, you and I were having a discussion in the car on the way here about basically the sunk cost fallacy of friendship right? Explain what that is. It's when you've invested time, money or both into something it could be a business, a friendship, a relationship, anything and it's not really working anymore but because you've spent so much time or money investing in it you don't want to get out they call it a sunk cost fallacy. But that's not why she doesn't want to get out. And also, by the way, leaving her out of a social arrangement, I don't think is petty.

I think it's called boundaries. Yes. I think your term, listener, of what is petty and passive aggressive, I actually don't think that's quite right. I think what you're looking to do is protect yourself, protect your own space and your own energy because every time you're around this woman, she makes you feel like shit. So I think actually perhaps you should be around this woman a lot less. Or if it does happen, call it out.

But what the thing is with calling it out, it doesn't change it. As in what did you mean by that comment? Or you know, you could just say something as simple as ouch, like that wasn't very nice. Or you could just say nothing. Sometimes silence speaks volumes. You know, don't just let her treat you that way. But it sounds like she's being passive aggressive, right? And obviously, you know, being passive aggressive is never, it's obviously never the right thing to do, is it? And it never really gets you very far. No.

But what it sounds like this woman is saying is that she needs to protect her boundaries and she needs some self-preservation. This is a really toxic friendship. Because at the moment what's happening is you're sitting in this relationship and it sounds like it's all on her terms so your need to want to leave her out of a WhatsApp group or leave her out of a social interaction is just purely based on the fact that you're kind of just sat in this relationship a little bit powerless, but you're not powerless. No, she's not. It's a toxic friendship. And also you do have the autonomy to leave the friendship, end the friendship and not see her anymore. And I do think as you come into

your forties, that urge becomes stronger to just not tolerate the things you don't want to tolerate anymore. And as I'm heading towards the end of my 40s, it's like, I think by the time I'm 50, if I threw a party, there'll be no one there. I hear you. It'd basically be you, me, if I'm still invited and the dogs. And that's like it. Yeah. Yeah. And hopefully my husband, he's still around. I really hope he is. Tolerance reaches a zero.

But you know what, I'm actually alright with it. Yeah, I kind of am too. I feel so much more empowered by that lack of tolerance, because why should I tolerate something that is intolerable? Why are you, this is my question to the woman that's written in, why are you tolerating someone who makes you feel like shit? You don't have to and you shouldn't have to, by the way. It's like we all need permission to stop putting up with bullshit. Only women need the permission. Men never need permission. Yes.

Adam would never put up with bullshit. Neither would Ollie. He would call out the bullshit and then it would end. And also she made an interesting point where she said, I would talk to her about it, but she won't care. Well, maybe if you talked to her about it, it's not for her to care. It's to find some sort of peace and closure for yourself. It's not about her caring. It's about you speaking up for yourself. And by the way, if you do need permission, we're giving it to you right now. So I say either call her out on it like Lauren said, you can just do it in subtle ways. Like actually that wasn't a very kind thing to say. Why

did you say that? Or go out for coffee with her and say, you know, I always leave our interactions and I just feel a bit rubbish. By the way, we have done an episode on Self Care Club called How to Have a Difficult Conversation and it's got so a step-by-step guide in how to have these awkward conversations, haven't we? Yeah. And it's super, super helpful. Never easy. Never easy. But super helpful. So I think either call it out or maybe not leave her WhatsApp groups, but maybe you don't have to, no not maybe, you don't have to invite her to social arrangements. No, you don, but maybe you don't have to, no, not maybe, you don't have to invite her to social arrangements.

No, you don't. And you don't have to go to anything that she invites you to, and you don't have to chat with her on WhatsApp. Just bin her off. Bin her off. Or, make it work for you. Find a way that it works for you.

And if that's bin her off, then bin her off. But just do it in a way that is manageable and tolerable for you. Find a way that it works for you. And if that's been or off, then been or off. But just do it in a way that is manageable and tolerable for you. Not, don't just say yes to everything, all the scraps that she is feeding. You don't have to. We have also done a three-part mini series on female friendships on Self Care Club in September. So go and look for those shows because there was actually some very good advice about how to deal with toxic friendships and how to end them and cope with them. And it's an endless conversation, isn't it? Yeah. Toxic friendships. Yeah. In females. Yes, it is. Anyway, we wish you luck. Thank you so much for writing in. We really appreciate the message. Lauren, you know me and you know when it comes to answering the listener's dilemmas

and when it comes to food, I always trust my gut. And I also trust Zoe, the leading size and nutrition company. All the nutritionists that we've spoken to on Self Care Club have highlighted just how much misleading information is out there when it comes to food. Things like the claims that you see on packaging that say things like low sugar or nothing artificial. These are often assigned to actually avoid these foods. Ever noticed a health claim on fresh fruit? No, never. Right, well you get my point.

So it's completely understandable why there's so much distrust and wondering who you should turn to for accurate information. Well it's very simple. It's not a dilemma for us. We use Zoe. Backed by one of the world's largest microbiome databases and most scientifically advanced at-home gut health tests, Zoe gives you proven science whenever you need it. Go to zoe.com and find out what Zoe membership could do for you. And because you listen to 40ish, you can use the exclusive code 40ish10 at checkout to get 10% off membership.

As a Zoe member, you'll get an at-home test kit and personalised nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. That's z-o-e dot com, use code 40ish10 at checkout. Trust your gut, trust Zoe. This episode is brought to you by RBC Student Banking. Here's an RBC student offer that turns a feel-good moment into a feel-great moment. Students get $100 when you open a no monthly fee RBC Advantage Banking account and will give another $100 to a charity of your choice.

This great perk and more only at RBC. Visit rbc.com slash get 100 give 100 conditions apply. I forgot a word yesterday. Okay. And it was like a word that I shouldn't forget. Do you remember what it was now? I do now. And I was talking to my daughter, my 16 year old. I said, you know, the thing, Lily Rose has got one.

What's it called? And she said, what? I said, she's got it, it's in her bedroom. It's like a phone, but it's much bigger. So she's like a big phone. I'm like, no, it's not a phone. You can't make a phone with it, but it's like a phone, but bigger. She's like an iPad. I'm like, yes. She's like, what the hell is wrong with you?

Excuse me. I thought you were going to tell the story that was so much worse when last week you couldn't remember the name for those things that you walk up to go from downstairs to up stairs, even though the word is in the words downstairs up stairs. It wasn't downstairs up stairs, it was down to up. It was like you go from, yeah, or maybe it was that, I don't even know. It was the word stairs. I couldn't remember the word stairs.

That's really worrying. Thanks. You ever need support, just call my friend Laura to my right because she is super supportive. What's the line between brain fog and dementia? It's brain fog. No, stop it! It's so nice. Maybe a little more testosterone blob. No, I'm on, you know what?

Stairs was a good one. iPad isn't brilliant. Totally, I'm really brain foggy at the moment. Anyway, it wasn't by the way, the stairs thing wasn't last week. It was. It wasn't. When was it? I can't remember. You know what? When you've got brain fog, I will remember this moment. I take my mushrooms every morning.

Have you been super supportive? Where are your mushrooms? I know where they are. I take my mushrooms every morning. Have you been super supportive? Where are your mushrooms? I know where they are, they're in the top drawer of your desk, right hand side. Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are. Maybe you take them.

I will. Okay. It's so embarrassing though, especially if you're like in a meeting and then you have to go around the houses and anyone with Brainfog totally going to relate to this. Lauren isn't. Then you go around the houses to not use the word because you can't remember the word.

And then you're trying to explain the word. And then you just come out with this really weird, awkward sentence. And you're hoping and praying that nobody has noticed that you haven't actually remembered the word iPad or stairs. You're basically just completely trying to cover up your brain fog. When I should just say I'm sorry I've got terrible brain fog and I can't remember what that big phone is called. In a meeting. Can you imagine it's so embarrassing and especially, Bula shouldn't be embarrassing because it's very very natural and especially as a podcaster who speaks for a living. It like, I know you're laughing. I'm not laughing.

No, you are laughing. I'm not. You are. I'm slightly laughing because I'm going to say the wrong word for them. No, I'm not. I know the right words. The right word is air pods. Yeah. The little white things you put in your ears. What were you going to them, earpods? Well, I just never say the right word for them and the children find it so annoying.

I either call them iPods, normally call them iPods or earpods or headphones. But I- I think go with headphones. I rarely go with AirPods, which is the correct term. So I'm always shouting around the house, where are my earpods? Where are my iPods? Where am I? And then mom, mom, air pods, air pods. But that's just because it's like my mom always used to be new to me, you know,

there's still new tech to me. Can I tell you something that I have noticed that you have done that is new in the techie world? And I'm actually quite impressed with it. And you seem to be doing it a lot. When I send you a WhatsApp message, you now reply with an emoji, but not like in a separate message like you replied to the actual message with an emoji, usually a thumbs up. I'm getting a lot of thumbs up at the moment. What's that about? Is it like you've just learned that WhatsApp does this?

No, I haven't just learned it, but I feel like sometimes it doesn't require a whole message back. No, it doesn't. But I want to acknowledge that I have read the message, acknowledge the message, and I'm responding to the message, which can normally be summed up in a thumbs up. Yeah. Or a heart. Or a laughing. Those are like, I would say. You would never, ever reply with a heart or a laughing. Rare. No, no, laughing I would. No, you wouldn't. They're both rare. You don't. You're not a big emoji. You're not. Sometimes I am. To who? People. To who? Other people. To who? Name them. Name them. Name them. That's a Real Housewives joke. Other people. Who?

I'm looking through my phone now. I don't need you to look through your phone. You have never ever replied to anybody in your life with a heart emoji unless maybe I'm gonna go with Max who is your eldest son. Maybe he gets a heart because he doesn't live at home. He gets hearts all the time. Sometimes you know I can't be jealous of that. Throb. Not throb that's a horrible word. Pulse. Beat. Beat. Beat. Beat. You know the ones that beat. Yeah but I never know when it's going to beat or not. It's cute when they beat. No but you know when they, you never know. Sometimes it beats.

I did a really good one yesterday and then I sent it and then I had immediate regret because I wasn't sure if this woman was going to take it the way I intended it. Who was it and what did you say? A friend of my youngest, so So this another 11 year old boy? I'm laughing because he's okay, but he had a accident at rugby Rugby someone poked him in the eye and he ended up at the eye eye hospital a knee last night So we were we were texting. I basically I diagnosed it I basically, I diagnosed it from home. It sounds like a scratch cornea to me.

And so a few hours later, she texted back, she says, you were right. He's got two scratches in his cornea and he's in so much pain, poor thing. And he might have to wear an eye patch. And without thinking, I immediately sent her a gift of a danger mouse. And as I said, And then I wrote hashtag Danger Mouse. And

I thought, oh no, it might have been a bit too soon. She's been in A&E all evening with this lovely child who's got an eye injury and is in so much pain. And there I am on my sofa sending danger mouse gif. Anyway within half a millisecond of me sending it to her one arrived in and it was also a gif of danger mouse and I thought oh thank god. She sent it at the same time. I thought oh thank god. What a match made in heaven you both are. She got it. She got it. She's not going to be upset with me and think I'm a complete bitch. But it was for me. I'm surprised you didn't send Jack Sparrow. No, I tell you my second one would have been. Jack Sparrow? No, Gabrielle. I know who Gabrielle is. But why wouldn't you? Jack Sparrow, no, he doesn't wear an eye patch. He's a pirate.

He doesn't wear an eye patch. Doesn't matter. It totally does. You know what? You know what? I just get a fucking thumbs up on replying to a message. You can't even be bothered to send it in a separate message, right? And now, and now I hear that the mums from school get gifts. How many messages do you send me and I send you per day? Per day? 15? I wouldn't have time to do anything else in my life. What's wrong with that? Gifts! I've never had a gift from you. Alright, I'll bear that in mind. Or a throbbing heart. Hi 40 something ladies, help me. Oh dear. My new partner snores, no cure, separate bedrooms or end the relationship? Sleep is king. Oh babes. I feel you. This is very triggering for me. Me too. I feel you. I hear you. I am you. We are as one. We are as a three.

But we're a throuple. But you're not in a new relationship. It's not a new relationship but I feel like if it was a new relationship I may have maybe a little more tolerance. I think I have less tolerance. Really? How is it a new relationship? Yes. You're talking about the sunk host-fality. I've been with that for 20 years. And he's still snoring. And he's still snoring even worse but I'm not going to like throw it all away because of the snoring. But if I was with some guy for three months and he starts snoring I'm thinking you know what put up with it for 20 years. I don't need it from you, mate.

Now this thing of separate bedrooms, there is such a thing and we reported on it on Self Care Club as the sleep divorce. It's very popular now and it is for couples who are in perfectly happy and contented relationships, but they sleep in separate bedrooms. And normally the reason is snoring or one of them's up in the night and wandering around and it disturbs the other person. I also have quite a few friends who have a sleep divorce. They're in extremely happy, very functioning marriages but they sleep in separate rooms. Sorry, I don't buy that they are in extremely happy marriage. I don't buy it. I don't buy that. And I remember one of my friends, she was also in this very stable long-term relationship

and they slept in separate bedrooms and I used to question it. Why is he sleeping in separate bedrooms? Because he snores, because he snores. Don't pretend that you don't want your own bedroom. And I thought about it and then I thought, no, I really hate waking up and Adam is not there. Like sometimes I wake up and he's gotten up early or he's not sleeping well and he's not in the bed. I really hate it. I think it's very natural to want to be together in the same room in the same bed. I think it is for many but for some it isn't that important. Anyway the point is that they broke up. Oh okay. And I used to think you know what you always tried to sell it to me and I knew it wasn't right. Oh okay well I actually do know three couples who do that and they are absolutely

Well, I actually do know three couples who do that and they are absolutely and perfectly fine and I can't see any any dents in those marriages. You might not know. No, I would know. I would know. I'm telling you, it's all solid. So you could do a sleep divorce or I think you should end the relationship. Listen, I've managed 27 years and And if I can tolerate it for that long, you can tolerate it for a few months more. Although as we were walking in and you start telling me there's just things. I've got zero tolerance. Yes, literally those were the words

we've always read to record. I just got no tolerance for anything or anyone. The thing is, I also do. And now here you are with agony art saying, I think if I could tolerate it, you could tolerate it. Well, I kind of have to because what am I also do... And now here you are with agony art saying, I think if I could tolerate it, you could tolerate it. Well, I kind of have to because what am I going to do? I do want him in the bed, but I also do want him to stop snoring.

I want both those things. I want both those things can coexist. Yeah, but how can they? Because I don't know what the cure is for snoring. Also... Whatever it is, I haven't found it. Ollie, a message to Ollie, Lauren's husband, who doesn't listen to this show. He doesn't listen to it. You can say whatever you like to him.

He'll never hear it. When you have been up snoring all night and you keep Lauren awake, my life is very difficult the next day because she's immensely grumpy. Because I'm tired. I know. Sleep deprived. I know. So his snoring doesn't just affect you. Oh, it affects you. It also now affects me. Well, maybe you should tell him that.

Maybe that would be the catalyst. I'm not going to do that. Please. I feel like that would be an overstep. Maybe you should be like, I have a work partner who is constantly deprived of sleep because of your snoring, so maybe sort it out. Well, I've only got one work partner,

so it wouldn't take a mathematician to figure out who I'm talking about. And only you figure out who I'm talking about. He's a smart guy I think he would. Listen I also have a husband that snores and the other night he was snoring so loudly I actually was having a dream about being run over by a lorry right and then I woke up and realized it was him snoring. Oh my God. Yeah. What do you do when he snores? What's your modus operandi? I used to give him a hit, but he doesn't like that. He gets really upset. So now I just like, oh, that's all I can manage in the middle of the night. And it does shut him up for

about two minutes. And within those two minutes, I have to get to sleep. Yes. Otherwise, the rhythm starts again. And it's normally just like a little... but here's the interesting thing. Our dog usually, I would say nine times out of ten, sleeps on our bed. She doesn't always, she didn't last night, don't know where she went. She sleeps on our bed, she snores and I find it the sweetest noise I've ever heard. Yeah, ditto. It's almost like... It's not annoying when the dog snores but also it's not annoying when the dog crunches something loudly and chews. But it's very annoying when the husband do that. The dog, I mean she could walk all over me in the

middle of the night and I would find it cute. Sometimes I give Barker a bit of a poppadom because I've never heard a noise. It's like a cave in there. It's the loudest thing you've ever heard and I find it hilarious. But when Ollie eats a poppadom, I have to leave the room because I find it so annoying how loud it is. What's that? What is that about? Dogs aren't annoying. Husbands can be. So I start with the shush. Shush, shush, shush. And the children tell me, even though we're a floor above them, that my shushing is so loud that it's not the snoring that wakes them. It's my shushing.

Then when I get really cross, I go with an elbow, an elbow, and then he will stop immediately turn over. Then it starts again. And then when I get really cross, I will say, Oh, for goodness sake, shut up. And then he'll wake up and say say I wasn't snoring. Yeah. Always, always. Oh then... Why are you waking me up? I wasn't snoring. You were... and then the next morning I'm like, you do know that I'm not some masochist that sets an alarm for 3am so that I can wake up and then deliberately wake you up to tell you you've been snoring but I've made that all up. That would be a really weird thing to do.

Adam gets annoyed if I wake him up. He's like, I can't believe you woke me up. It's all right for you to wake me up. But I've been awake since 1am. Anyway, do you want to know what he did a few weeks ago? Yeah. Basically, we were in the car and we'd had a few nights in a row where he was snoring loads and loads and loads and Adam doesn't like to be wrong. And he's always trying to

prove the point that I snore too. And I'm like, well, I- You don't snore. I've slept with you quite a few times and you've never snored. And I also know I don't snore. But he says that I do. You don't.

Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, the four of us, me and the kids, we were going somewhere, me, Adam and the kids, we get in the car. Adam goes, I'm gonna put a song on. He'd basically recorded me in the car, Adam goes, I'm going to put a song on. He'd basically recorded me in the middle of the night and played it through the loudspeaker in the car.

I would go mental. The kids found it so funny. Of course they did. I didn't. What were you doing? Were you snoring? Yeah. How loudly? Well, it was on loudspeaker in the the car so it sounded quite loud. What kind

of revenge is this? It's like you snored once so it gets recorded and you're shamed for it but he snores every single night and that's just to be tolerated. Fuck that. Yeah! Fuck that. Yeah! You know what lady and the relationship it's going nowhere. You're going to live with the snorer for the rest of your life so either put up with it now or just bit him off. Yeah. Find a man who doesn't snore. I agree. But the thing is, okay, let's say we just ended our marriages today because of the snoring alone and then they met someone new and then the new woman said to both Ollie and Adam,

do you by the way, do you snore? Do you snore? They both say no. I don't know. That is our show on 40 years. Thank you so much for listening. Now, the important part, if you want to be part of the show, which we really want you to be, please you can email us, email your rants, your stories, anything you want to share, your dilemmas, your questions, anything that you want to be spoken about and you want our really crap advice on, please email us hello at 40ish, that's 40ish, dot co dot uk, that's hello at 40ish dot co dot uk, or you can DM us on Instagram at 40ish dot podcast. Wow. I know,

I sound like a proper broadcaster. You say you've lost your words but you've got a lot of words out there. Well done. That's just memory isn't it? That's just muscle memory that is because I've said it so many times. I've said it so many times on Self Care Club. I've always done the ending of these shows. Why? I know. Why do I always finish it off? Because that's how we set it up and that's how it rolls. Well done. I remember the first time I did it. Do you? Yeah, I do.

It was such a day. It was and I was like, oh my God, because we didn't know each other. Yeah. And we'd recorded this first podcast and I just did the ending. And I was like, oh my God, I hope she doesn't think that I'm, you know,

taking over or I'm being too pushy. Yeah, I wrote that in my journal that night. Whatever. See you that night. Whatever. See you next week. Bye.