40ish - Unfiltered - Babybels in the bra and Bendover Tuesdays

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

Today on Unfiltered; Nicole is asked if she can really trust Lauren and has us all asking: What exactly are “Bendover Tuesdays?” Lauren is close to meltdown as she attempts to tackle paperwork at midnight. One woman cannot keep up with the ravenous appetites of her children who are ransacking the cupboards during the school holidays and the ladies report on a recent study showing that midlifers are really stepping it up in the bedroom - well, they try to, but they are interrupted by a teenager who really doesn't want to walk the dog. It’s parenting, paperwork, perimenopause... and a Babybel down your bra. Just another Tuesday. Enjoy!  To buy tickets to our live show click here -  https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Get 10% off Daily30+ today. Go to zoe.com/daily30 and use promo code 40ISH10 We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Summer is Tim's ice latte season. It's also hike season, pool season, picnic season, and yeah, I'm down season. So drink it up with Tim's ice lattes, now whipped for a smooth taste. Order yours on the Tim's app today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time. Hello everyone. Welcome to 40-ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcon. This is Tuesday's show where we are feeding back, feeding back your comments, your emails, your DMs, what you're saying on social media about the 40-ish dilemms that was shared last week. Yes. And if you want more 40-ish in your life, then I know that you do.

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we don't care as long as it's middle age we want to hear from you or if you have a question about being middle age and you're in your 20s and you want us to answer it honestly for you we are here for you hello at 40ish dot co dot UK wow rolled off the tongue it really did I know I'm really getting

the hang of that email good good for you thanks about time or you can DM us at 40 some of them are not fit for purpose which is not not fit for or broadcast no okay do you want to just had a mini meltdown with my daughter i've just said can you walk the dog like we're out recording all day yes i'm not going to get home until half-past six seven o'clock at night been working all day yeah she is currently off on her

school holidays this isn't my meltdown oh this isn't it's sounding like it's building to one well yeah okay here we are and i said can you walk the dog yeah she said no I don't want to. I don't care if you want to. I don't want to make dinner every night. Yeah. I don't want to do towel change day. I don't want to drive you here and there.

I don't want to pay a fortune every time your legs grow and I have to buy you a new pair of jeans. I don't want to have to buy you football boots every other week. I don't want to fill in forms, the school, about letting you go on a trip here, a trip there. I don't want to do any of these things, but I do them. Yeah. I do them all. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So just walk the dog. I don't want to pay for your nails. I didn't actually. But Adam did. That annoyed me. What? Anyway, it's part of a longer story.

It doesn't matter. I don't want to have to go and make your leg-waxing appointment. Make it yourself. My eldest daughter came in the elderly. Oh, can you just message the eyebrow woman and bab-b-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. And I said to her, no. She said, why not? I said, because she's 17.

She goes, I don't know how to book an appointment. I'm like, yes, you do. That's the time you fucking learned there, isn't it? Yeah. She's like, all right, just ask you to be a mum. Listen, you've mummed her for 17 years. She can make an appointment, I'm sure. she's very capable girl

anyway I made the appointment because I thought actually I need my eyebrows doing actually it's a good point and thank you for the reminder anyway you see what I mean I'm melting down all over the place

what was I even melting oh she won't walk the dog she won't walk the dog I said to you are my best mum voice yeah you really mummed I really mummed it didn't I this is my 14 year old who's very 14

very 14 she is so 14 she couldn't be more 14 and when she was 13 I said she is when people say oh how is she I said she's 13 that's all I have to say on the matter but now it's like no she's 14 but she is really rocking 14 like she is so in 14 I have I can't even imagine what 15's going to bring because 14 is is is 14 is 14 is a lot I don't know if we're ready for 15 we've got till November so we better buckle up anyway I'll get through the summer first yeah so it's a walk the dog

She's like, no, I don't want to. I'm like, I am telling you, you are going to walk that dog. And I will know if you haven't walked the dog. She'll tell you, that dog will tell you. I will know she has not been walked. And she goes, I don't want to. She was very firm. And I said, this is the last I want to hear about it.

Walk the dog. And I went to put the phone down. And in between the paws of walk the dog, me screaming, walk the dog. And the pausing of me putting the phone down, all I heard in the background was, no. Like this muffled, no. She's not walking that dog. Anyway, I said I phone my husband and I said she won't walk the dog. Tell her to walk the dog.

He said, it's too hot to walk the dog. It's too hot to walk the dog. It's 22 degrees. It's not too hot to walk the dog. She's fine. She'd be fine. Poor dog. Poor little dog.

And before we came out, I did walk the dog. I walked her very, very quickly just round like a 20 minute walk. I came in my husband's like, that was quick. I'm like, I don't think you're in a position to start telling me about, it turns out I have a lot of meltdowns to start telling me about how long my dog walks up. Because I'm also working. You know, I also have a career. I also have things going on where I can't just spend my life walking the dog or washing your clothes. Don't be a ridiculous.

Don't be ridiculous. Or doing the Akado shop. Like, I have other things. Of course you don't. You only exist to serve everyone else in your house. Don't you know that? Get with a program. You're not allowed a life.

For a job. You're lucky you're allowed on the paddle court. I wouldn't be allowed on a paddle court. Why? What would happen? I've got too many forms to fill in. I'm in meltdown. I am in meltdown.

I've been repeating myself and I was beginning to think it was Alzheimer's or a lack of estrogen that you pointed out to me this morning that it was overwhelm. Cognitive overload, I said. And I think you're correct. You liked that, didn't you? You like that diagnosis.

It resonated hard. And also, I'm holding on to that, but dear life. It's a lot less awful than Alzheimer's. So let's stick with that one. Or even a lack of estrogen. Because that's not fun. That's not fun. but that could be rectified, okay.

Oh, yeah, but that's not a straight road either. I mean, I am trying to navigate a child going to become a student in America. Now, that may sound simple. It is not, there is nothing simple about a child emigrating. There is a lot of paperwork, forms, emails. Do you know what happens? Let me just tell you anyone whose child has just sat their GCSEs. When you receive those certificates, take them.

Take them. I actually don't know where daisers are. You better find them, lady. Lock them away and put a big, big folder with a big thing on saying child's GCSE certificates, because my son's lost his. But hold on. They sent them to us digitally. No, they are actual physical certificates.

You know, her school did email us a few times that you want to come pick them up. Well, they get disposed of after a few years if you don't pick them up. And I know this, I know this firsthand because it was the middle of lockdown. We don't know where these certificates went. I don't think they were ever collected. They are now gone and I've had to ask for them to be reissued. Who do you ask? You have to ask each individual board.

Oh, dear. It is forms. It is money. It is awful. Oh, Lauren. I feel quite stressed now. I was doing this at 11pm last night and then after that I had to fill in esters. You know, when you travel to the States, you've got to have an ester.

Anyway, I was so tired And then I had to upload a passport photo And then a scan of my passport Now you know me well enough That if someone asks me We all know where this is going How do you think I anyway The older children

For people new to the show Let's just give them a bit of context I'm a bit of background I'm technically backwards Well you're not backwards But you're not as No Technology is not Lauren's thing

But that's okay Because many things are your thing. This is not. I needed a selfie to upload for this Esther. And Max was sitting next to me because God bless him. He's a very helpful kid. He's a very helpful kid. He's not a kid.

He's not a kid. He was like, why don't I just take a photo of you now against a white wall and we can use that? Why did you need a selfie? From the ester, for my Esther. So I can go to the States. Oh, so you can go. Yeah. Got you.

And then he looked at me and I looked at him. She's cool. And he went, actually, forget it. because I looked so tired and awful. Yeah, but it was midnight. Yeah. I said, Max, can we just find one on my phone? And then I realized it had to be on a white background.

Yeah, yes, of course it. Anyway, he did it. He did it for me. And then I had to upload the passport and I just looked at him. She's calling me. Sorry. Yeah? Oh, you're walking her.

Well done. Right. Just pick her up and carry her down the road and just drag her. I'm serious. No, you just, no, just pick her up for a minute. She likes a bit of a cuddle and then just walk her down the road and then just carry on. Just carry on. Please, just, please, just deal with it.

Please. I really appreciate you trying. What? Pick her up. I just told you. Pick her up. Bye, love you, bye. Amazing.

Amazing. And actually, you should keep that in. I'm going to. This is so funny. She's not walking. That was Nicole's daughter ringing to say that the dog is refusing to walk. After all that. So the advice is pick her up, give her a cuddle, take her down to the end of the road and then drag her.

Just to say, if you're raising a puppy, that's not official guy. sidelines into how to get your dog to walk. But it is in Miley's world because she's less dog, more madam. Not madam, princess. Princess madam. Come on. Come on. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Interesting. I'm sorry. I cut you off mid-flow. Anyway. So did Max do. He sorted out the selfie.

Then I had to upload a scan of my passport. And it was so bad. It was so bad. He did it for me. He did it for me. And he labeled it and he went. No, no, no. I'm going to stop you.

What? It was so bad. It was so awful. Because I feel like we're just going down a rabbit hole. It's never going to make it. With all the forms. I know it does. I know it does.

Also, how much do the listeners actually want to hear about all the ways in which it got worse? You can just tell us that it got worse and we will trust you. I'll just skip to the end. I got scammed. because I filled in my ester on the wrong website because I was so tired I didn't go through the official website. Were you getting an Esther for both of you and Ollie?

Does he not need one as well? He's got one. He's got one. So, you know. You got scammed. I'm so sorry. Well, no, don't be sorry. I was just so overtired.

I know. I'm sorry you were overtired and I'm sorry that you got scammed. I really am. It wasn't brilliant. It's not brilliant. Anyway, that's my meltdown. It's happening.

It's happening in real time. Oh, hello. My daughter just phoned me and mine is also happening in real time. Maybe by the time this show airs, I'll be less frantic. Is that possible? I don't know. You're not presenting as frantic.

You're just telling me that you're frantic, but you're not presenting that way. No, externally. Which is great. It's like the swan. Yeah. I stood on the scales and I thought, oh, no, the scales must be broken. And then I thought, oh, no, I'm just stressed.

Fucking hell. I never lose weight during stress. Never, never. I have never, ever, ever, ever, ever lost weight through stress. It fucks me off. That is annoying. And I've never, ever, ever lost my appetite. You know, people are like, oh, I couldn't possibly eat.

I'm like, I don't understand. Like, you know, I remember the build-up to my wedding. Yeah. When everyone's like, oh, no, you won't eat for two weeks before your wedding. and they'll have to take me your dress in. No. I was eating the very morning of my wedding. So I was I.

I had a massive breakfast. I never, ever not have an appetite. But I wasn't finding my wedding stressful. And everyone was like, oh, you'll have to have a last minute fitting because you're going to drop half. I didn't lose half a pound. No. Because I was happy. When you're happy, you eat.

But most brides are happy. Yeah, that's what I don't understand. Most brides are happy. Anyway, no, I also didn't lose anything before my wedding. Never, ever, ever. So how have you suddenly lost weight? I don't know. It's just stress.

Stress. The stress of this summer, it's a lot this summer. I know it's a lot. I know, I know. And we're here for you. Thank you. We are. Send.

Even though I'm not going to see you this summer. Send tech support. Not happy about. I know. We're going to be apart a lot, aren't we? Yeah. Nearly a whole month. Like I said to her yesterday because our kids are both going on the same camp.

They are. Right? So finally, Lauren has some parenting free time. Yeah. No, she's not around. Nope. She's busy every single solitary day that he is at camp. I am.

Yep. And I said to her, right, when are you around in August so we can do some work? She replies, I swear to you, the 12th and the 14th of August. I'm like, are you fucking joking? Like, we're actually, you're actually in the country. I'm in the country, but no. She's too busy for me this summer. I am.

Do you remember two years ago when you had a meltdown because I wasn't around at all? You were gone for like forever? I wasn't really. It was just a normal summer holiday, but you were just bored. You were lonely. You were lonely without me. I feel like this is what this summer's going to be. be for me. I was telling the children about how

sometimes when we're a part in the summer, like last year when I sent you a video of me dancing expressing my how much I missed you through the medium of dance. Yeah. And they were like, that's sweet but also weird, mum. Did she post it? I said she would never post it. We are sweet, but a bit weird.

Yeah. That's what they said, did she post it? I said Nicole would never do that. Someone asked me this morning, my gym friend, if I trust you. What did you say? And why was she asking? I can't remember why she asked.

She said, I know she's your person, but do you trust her? Wow. That's a deep question for morning, Jim. Oh, we get deep. Wow. Quick. In fact, the other morning, I just walked in. She is so funny.

Within the first six minutes, she talked to me about something called, Bend Over Tuesdays. Oh, hello. And Dominatrix. And I said to her, I said to her, I've been here six minutes. Sorry? She goes, yeah, but you know, that's how I roll. What a bend over Tuesdays.

Please expand immediately. Do I need to? Who's bending over? Isn't it very self-explanatory? Who's bending over? Oh, her friend. Just her friend. Her friend has bend over Tuesdays.

Interesting. Every Tuesday? Probably. I just, I think the clue is in the name. Who's the dominatrix? That was a different friend. What? She'd really like her.

She's got an eclectic friend group. Firstly, she asked me if I trust you. And then she asked me, it was in a slightly different conversation, but part of the same conversation is if we talk about vaginas on the show, because she doesn't listen to the show, she doesn't listen to the show, Lauren is obsessed with vaginas. That's all she talks about.

And she said, that's because they are the source of life. I said, that's what she says. We can't both be wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Do you trust me well? As I said to you yesterday, whilst also crying in front of the laptop, I hate being the CFO of our company. But I am.

I sat there and you were like, what's the matter? What's with the face? I was like, I hate being the CFO. I hate this invoicing thing. And you were like, yeah, I'm really glad that I have to do that. But at the same time, to be fair to me, I was also doing something I hate. You were like, it's not fun or creative. I'm like, I'm up.

a host read into this really complicated campaign and I don't know if it's up or it's not up or I've just fucked up the whole thing. I promise you this isn't fun or creative either. I just decided to be really like straight about it and I just emailed the company and I was like, look, I have no understanding of this new platform that you have made me download. So can you please explain in very basic terms how to upload an invoice? And then he just sent an email back this morning that said, we haven't actually processed any invoices yet. So there's nothing for you to do. I was like, oh, okay. Then I felt very sad. It was just one step too far. Anyway, isn't everything one step too far? Do you trust me? I hold the bank accounts. You do, and I don't have access to it.

You do have access. You've just lost your pin. You do have access because it's a joint account. I know it's a joint account. Yeah, yeah. You're not answering the question. What was the question? Do you trust me?

I trust you completely. Do you trust me? Yeah. Like there's not one thing I don't trust you with. Same. Did you tell her that? Did you tell Bend Over Tuesday that? That's not enough.

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in PC optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at no-frails.ca. Should we go to some feedback? Yeah. Travelling with your own pillow. The lady who said that is she, her husband thinks she's unreasonable because she wants to travel with her own pillow.

He doesn't want to pay for the excess baggage. Stasia said, one less thing to annoy me in this myriad of perimenopal symptoms. My calmness and my happiness is a must. So she agrees. Travel with your own pillow. Oh, I think at this point in your life,

just do what the fuck you want to do, you know? Meg says, I'm with you, girl. Travel should be comfortable. A good night's sleep is worth its weight in gold wherever you are. Sorry, I'm still laughing about the advice I gave to my daughter about the dog. Pick her up, give her a cuddle, put her down and then drag her. Yeah. Yeah.

She doesn't walk with anybody else. That's not going to be on what's that show called Bad Dog Academy. The dog's behaving badly. Dogs behave me badly or so on. Do you remember? Do you know how many people ask me if I've seen that show? Take. You're not taking that as a hint.

No, I have taken it as a massive hint, but I think they can all just fuck off. Right. Me and the dog are very happy. Like, leave us alone. We're happy in our dysfunction. Okay. I mean, she's very grumpy. But yeah.

We had a difficult afternoon yesterday, didn't we? But we knew it was going to be difficult. We knew. We went in sort of half prepared. Miley is not really a dog. So she doesn't really a dog. really like other dogs. But I diagnose this as lockdown dog syndrome.

Yes. Because everyone was isolated, she missed her full week window as a puppy to socialise with other dogs. Then the window shuts at 16 weeks and then they just can't. So she's quite fearful and the fear presents as grump. Yeah. She's not just being a bitch. She's just actually frightened.

Even Josh said, look, she's really frightened. She's shaking. Yeah. But she's like showing her teeth and everything. But that's just fear. That's all it is. So we introduce Miley to Beber, they haven't met before. Firstly, Miley's very confused because Barker wasn't at my house.

Well, she's never been to your house. Since he died. Since he died. And as we pulled into your road, she normally is like crying and screaming. She can't wait to get out. She runs to the front door. So she did, it was heartbreaking. So she did all that.

And the tail's going. She's expecting to see her friend. And then she is met with a brand new puppy who's jumping all over her. Yeah. Because Barker just would stand there still. not able to see or here. They'd have a little snob. She'd try and kiss him and she jump up and like lick his nose.

Yeah. She adored him. And she doesn't like many dogs. No, she doesn't. But now she's this new puppies in that house. So first she goes looking for Barker's food, which isn't there anymore. Yeah. And then this puppy's like, hi, hi, hi, hi, play with me.

Hi, hi, hi. She's like, fuck off. She literally told her to fuck off about. For about two hours. For about 40 times. And then we tried to have a Zoom meeting. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Eventually we had to pick up both dogs so they would stop having a go with each other. And then they started having a go with each other on our laps. And then the woman on the Zoom, we couldn't hear her, Mabel again. Mabel thinks we're nuts. Mabel does think we're nuts. It was not great. Mabel is the woman who's helping us put together our live show.

Yes. And we've already had a very funny interaction with Mabel because for some reason we were talking about Bill Sikes. Yeah. Anyway, it was a very difficult afternoon. Then they had a punch up over like a toy on the floor. But then at the end we did catch them with their noses together. Yeah. There's hope.

But then Bieber thought that she was in. So she then jumped on Miley to see, oh, okay, we're friends now. Let's play. And Miley was like, no, fuck off. No, we're not friends. I've just tolerated you for two seconds. Now I hate you again. So we're going to have to try it again.

Many times. Yep. Yeah. Many, many times until they're friends. Yeah. Basically. Do you remember the lady the other week who went to Ibiza and her bosom fell out in the pool? Yeah, poor woman.

And it was seen by her friend's dad and this teenage boy. Oh, the teenage boy, that was hideous. TSD said, I'm 21. The teenage boy's unreadable expression was 100% do I delete or do I go viral. If he posts it, he might get famous AF. If he deletes it, TikTok loses a legend. No, he cannot post that. I'm sorry.

I don't think he was even filming it. Completely inappropriate. And I don't think, I still stand by what I said. I don't think any teenage boy would want that absolute, well, I was going to say something rude. And I don't mean it rude. I don't think he'd want that on his phone. I agree. Peppy says tequila plus Haltinick swimsuit equals a bad combo.

You're old enough to know better. Yep. True. Bit, judgy. But also true. Yeah. Confidence Cork says, let it go. It's iconic.

You just upgraded your party status from guest to headline act. Own the moment. That's brilliant. That is true. It is true. And Delta said, I would totally ask your friend, better safe than viral forever, but also, if the video's out, you'll know. She will know because people will be like your tits on the internet. I said that.

I said she'll find out very, very, very quickly. The dad who shared his colonoscopy report and photos on the family WhatsApp group. Tom says the cousin's thumbs up is peak. I think peak means good. He does me. Okay. Like cold. Cold.

Femmy says every family has that one person where there is just no filter. And Kells says, my auntie shared an ultrasound of my cousin's baby on our family WhatsApp. She hadn't even told us she was pregnant yet. She was fuming at her mom. Oh. That is an error. Yeah.

That's overstepping. Yeah. Big time. And also like completely. robbed her of the opportunity of all of it. Should we go to a break? Yeah, I need one. Yeah, I do too.

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August 29th get tickets now come on let's let's do the midlife news Science says, and if science says you know it's true, science says middle-aged folks are stepping up their game in the bedroom. A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Health found that couples in their 40s and 50s reported high levels of satisfaction, better communication and more adventurous sex lives than their younger counterparts. Oh, really?

But you know why? They've probably got a bit more time. Well, they bend over Tuesdays apparently. Oh, didn't that tie in very beautifully? research just suggests And dominatrix Whatever that is When she just said dominatrix There was no context

She was telling me something Is she the dominatrix No Someone else She wasn't telling me anything to do with her It was nothing to do with her Okay Just someone else she knows who is a dominatrix

The conversations move very quickly You need to pay more attention to it I want the info No you don't understand I walk into the gym Yeah Right and if she's there Which she usually is

Because we normally meet there About 730 every morning we're always so happy to see each other there's three of us it's like three musketeers there's I'm not going to name names anyway and the two her and I do not come up for air

in fact she is so distracting that sometimes I have to tell her to not talk to me just ignore me because I've got to work she's impossible to work out with because she doesn't stop talking and I don't stop talking and we don't stop talking together

and we're totally into what each other is saying clearly and then the other girl that's there she brings us into line she's always like right come on focus so she's really good for us interesting dynamic but today she was doing something completely different to us because she's injured so she couldn't do anything with us so we were left to our own devices and that's not good i see i see interesting okay should i carry on what are you saying that research oh yes yes yes yes researchers suggest that by midlife people have a better understanding of their

bodies, clearer communication with partners and less pressure to perform, which leads to more genuine pleasure. Couples say they're more focused on quality over quantity, safering the moments rather than rushing through them. One expert commented, midlife sex is often richer, more relaxed and more fulfilling. It's like upgrading from instant coffee to a perfectly brewed espresso. Interesting. But I think that would depend on whom you are doing it with. Absolutely. If everything's working in both departments. How much you hate them that week.

You know, there's a lot of factors before you get to the actual sex bit. My God, agreed. And there's a lot of things that can go wrong. So there you go. That's the report. But I also think because when you're in your 30s, you've got usually, if you're like a married couple with a, you know 2.4 family style set up you've got young children and so you're distracted and like your

sex life is kind of it takes a bit of a back seat doesn't it but when you're in your 40s and 50s and your kids are older and maybe they're at uni or they've moved out then you've got more time together well and the other thing is you're not doing it to procreate anymore I had many years of baby making stuff oh yeah but I did I didn't do all that yeah I did for like 11 years yeah I didn't do all that so for me that wasn't it's quite different to go from like it's a great day to do it

to just recreational sex that's a whole new thing I haven't done that since I was young really young Josh is 12 yeah don't tell me Josh is 12 but there were many

years no I know but before that but you've had 12 years of recreational sex well I know but I don't know if that was all recreational Maybe another one might have happened I don't know I don't know Sorry what do you mean

I'm just saying What are you saying That now it's recreational Now it's definitely recreational Not procreational But that's a different vibe right And we're older I would say

It was probably only sort of a year Of our married life That it was about babies One year? I got pregnant straight away With Daisy Yeah And then with Lily Rose

I got pregnant again straight away, miscarried, tried again and got pregnant straight away. I really got, I got pregnant very, very quickly. I had 10 years of baby making. But also you had the two quite easily, right? No. Oh no, you didn't. So there was a lot.

There was a lot going on there. So I like this. Upgrading from instant coffee to perfectly brewed espresso, although you know what? Sometimes instant coffee is great. No. Completely disagree with you. It was wrong. It's not wrong.

It is wrong. It is wrong. It's like cheap shampoo. You just don't do it. You don't do it. I'm sorry, don't. Really? Listen, I'm very snobby about coffee and shampoo.

And sex, obviously. I'm actually talking about coffee. Okay. I am actually talking about coffee. Sometimes I actually really want just like a nest cafe. Are you talking about coffee or sex? What are we actually talking about? I'm actually talking about coffee, but also sex.

I don't mind aness cafe if we're talking about sex. The odd time. I don't care. Yeah, the odd time. But coffee, no. Okay. Do we clear that up? Crystal clear.

Clear as mud. Anyway, bend over Tuesdays are great. Bend over Tuesdays. Can you please get more information about that the next week? Let's listen to this meltdown. I'm already feeling her. Go on. Ladies, it's official.

Day four of the summer holidays and I am already in Meltdown. Yeah, we know. We understand. My kids just demolished lunch and now they are hungry again. I cannot seem to keep them full. My youngest just asked if she can snack until dinner. Snack until dinner. I've resorted to hiding the snacks in with my laundry.

like a hoarder just so I don't run out of crisps the same day that I do the shopping. The downside of this is that I found a baby bell in the cup of a bra in the laundry pile this morning. At least it didn't go into the tumble dryer. That would be really gross. I'm not even kidding. Somewhere along the line I have crossed over into feral parenting. Is this normal? Please tell me it is.

Anyway, I've got to go. I've just heard the freezer door beeping and that sound means war. Pray for me. It's funny she mentioned about the freezer door beeping. Last night I was making dinner Or was I putting the shopping away I think I was putting the shopping away And making dinner

Of course you were Yes The microwave was beeping And the fridge door was open Both beep And it wasn't bothering me Because I was so busy making dinner And putting the shopping away

Right And Adam was like Can you not hear the beeping I'm like I can hear it Yeah But I don't care He's like No I couldn't deal with that either

He can't cope with it at all. No. He's like, could you turn it off? I'm like, I'm making dinner and putting the shopping away. Here's a thought. Why don't you turn it off? You don't what I mean? Why doesn't he shut the freezer door and shut the microwave? Shut the fridge door, turn the microwave off.

Like, you know, you do it? It's easier to ask you, though, isn't it? But it isn't because then I... Let me tell you about multitasking. My friend gave birth to her third child whilst unpacking her Elkado shopping. No, she didn't. Yes, she did. Well, she's an idiot.

On her own kitchen floor. Sorry. She's an idiot. It wasn't on purpose. It wasn't on purpose. Well, it just fell out as she was putting the bananas away. She had two kids. Her older two were in bed. This is not a real story.

I swear on my life. Cairra. I knew you were going to say sorry, because she does everything. I knew you were going to say Sarah. She has four babies. Baby number three. Just fell out. She was unpacking the Akado.

She was like, she could feel the contraction starting. She thought, I've got so long. I'm going to have ages and ages and ages. I'm going to put the shopping away. and then deal with the fact that I'll need to put my bad together and then we'll go to the hospital get my mom around to look after the kids sort it all out but I'll have a long time

so she's in the middle of unpacking the shopping and then she was like oh shit I need to push so she just called her husband she was like the baby is coming he was like okay we'll get going she's like no no no the baby is coming here yeah so she just got on the kitchen floor and the baby was born and he caught the baby and then the paramedics came and she said what really fucked her off was for the next two weeks

everybody the whole family all their friends and all the paramedics were like oh to her husband you did a wonderful job well done well done she was like hello I was the one on the kitchen floor giving birth he literally put his hands out caught the baby and he gets all the congrats

for doing such a great job that is not okay that is what happened true story that is not okay that is that is multitasking tell him he is not allowed bend over Tuesdays What's the bell down? All the children, the snacks, the holidays, the baby bell in her bra, the locusts in the cupboards, the never being able to fill the children up.

Yeah, we know it, we're living it. Well, we're all, it's all, everything's part of the same thing, which is just summer holidays, isn't it? You know, the walking, the dog, she's at home, she's not doing anything today. Like, I think I win. And then the dog won't walk. I mean, I know I don't win. I don't win.

But I just feel like I should because I'm so irritated by it. You're not winning. I'm having a quiet nervous breakdown over here. You're not winning with a dog walk. Lack of dog walk. I've been scammed. You have been scammed. I've been up till midnight.

I look so terrible. My son refused to even take a passport photo of me. Like, you know, I'm in a bad way. Okay, you win. Thank you. Because this woman, we're all dealing. I'm not saying I don't have empathy, but we're all dealing with what she's dealing with.

Yeah, we are. I don't have baby bells in my bra. my fridge. But I can see how that... But I can see... It's week one. I might not even get to the point where I can wear a bra, but I see where she's going. Are you wearing a bra today? Yep. Good.

Well done. Thank you. Winning. And knickers. Are you going to call this episode Bend Over Tuesdays? Oh my God. Of course I am. And I look forward to all the information about that. Next week. Okay. I shall bring it. We will be back. next week with a brand new episode of not the self-care club you see you see it rolls off the time we have two podcasts it's confusing it time but we will be back next week it's an episode of 40-ish we're going to be back this week because this is tuesday shows so we're going to be back on Thursday so we're going to be back in 48 hours time with a brand new episode of 40-ish you haven't got very long to get this information then that's that don't put me under pressure you're under pressure well I'm going to have to wait to see her at the gym tomorrow that's fine and I'm not working out with her tomorrow

We could just drive around to her house with a notebook and pen. Okay. Okay. Thanks. I'll message her. Thank you. What's the deal with Bend over Tuesdays? But that is a weird text message.

I don't think it is. It sounds like that's very normal in the context of your relationship. She's going to love it. We'll be back on Thursday. Please keep your messages coming in. Hello at 40ish.com. You can DM us 40ish dot podcast over Instagram and we'll be back on Thursday. See you then.