40ish - Unfiltered - Baristas, George Clooney and The Bubonic Plague

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Today on Unfiltered we are serving hormones, humiliation, Hollywood heartthrobs, and 14th-century pandemics. Lauren has forgotten where she parked the car and Nicole is speechless after hearing someone under 23 declare themselves “Old!” A doctor gets ambushed by a surprise period while wearing a white dress (because thank you perimenopause) and the ladies ponder how they'd react if George Clooney handed them a cappuccino (spoiler: they would have to check he had sweetener), and there's an unexpected history lesson on the bubonic plague. You're welcome. To buy tickets to our live show click here -  https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Get 10% off Daily30+ today. Go to zoe.com/daily30 and use promo code 40ISH10 We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everyone, welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcon. It's Tuesday. That means it's time for Unfiltered. It's where we dish the juicy feedback from the week's episode. We dive into your comments, what you thought of the dilemmas and what you're saying on social media if you want more 40ish in your life. And you do because everyone does. Please follow and become a subscriber exclusively on Apple podcasts. When you subscribe, you get early access, you get ad free across both this show and Self Care Fund and you get bonus content. And we would love to have you as part of our subscription. So pop over to that. And if you want to keep being part of the

conversation on 40ish, which we want you to, we would love you to, get your emails in to us. Hello at 40ish.co.uk or you can contact us via our socials at 40ish.podcast. Be in touch. Be in touch please, we really do love hearing from you. Let's kick it off with a midlife meltdown. What is yours of the week? It's been very hot. Had a lovely evening dinner outside with my friend. Wonderful, lovely. I was driving so I just had the one drink. I actually went for an iced tea with vodka. Never had one before. Delightful. It was delicious, but just one. Anyway, finished the meal. We both trot off back down to our cars. Where are you parked? She says, I said, just down here. Where are you parked? I'm just over here. Then she's like, where's your car? I said, it's just down there. So she goes off to her

car, walk all the way down the road. No, no, my car is not there. It's not there. Nor do I recognize any of the things that I've passed on the way down to my car. I'm thinking I didn't pass this shop when I was walking up to the restaurant. And I'm like, okay, perhaps I'm in the wrong street. This is the wrong street. Yeah. So I walk all the way back up the street to the restaurant. And I think when I came to the restaurant, what angle was I looking at the restaurant, realised completely different road, totally different. By the time I mean, it does happen. It does, but not to me. And By the time I... I mean, it does happen. It does, but not to me. And by the time I got to my car, it was 20 minutes later.

Why didn't you just go on your maps, your Google Maps? I know there is that thing, park car, and it automatically comes up on your maps. So I did that. It wasn't there. Then I thought I'm on the wrong app. I don't know what was going on. I was so confused. I finally get to my car with like great relief. I texted my friend. I was like, I've only just found my car. And she texted me back saying, up your estrogen mate. And then I drive home. Was this your doctor friend? Yeah. Perhaps you should listen to her. She's an endocrinologist. She knows what she's talking about. That was all she had to say. Yeah she would be correct. Anyway also this isn't a meltdown but I thought I'll throw it in because it's very middle-aged. We were talking about what books we were reading and I was telling her how I have my old lady clip

on light on my book so that Olly can turn the lights off and I can read without disturbing him. She was like oh my god that sounds amazing because you know Jonathan always is disturbed by my light. Anyway, when I was in the car finally, I had such relief about being in the car, I ordered her one on the spot to be sent to her house the next day. She was thrilled. Thrilled. I would be thrilled. She was like, this is why you are my friend. Yeah. What a gift. Yeah, I know it's old and I know it's not trendy She said but it's so useful. I don't think it's old or young. I don't think it's either one of those things I think it's a grandma light. I don't think so I think it's very neutral because it just saves you having the actual light on

I know but if you do feel I used to have a Kindle that had a backlight Yeah, but Kindles are cool, you know, it's like a trendy gadgety thing. This is not cool Kindles are not trendy or gadgety. They are. It's a book machine. The fact that you think it's trendy and gadgety is a worry. It's a book machine. It's a magic blank slate where books pop up. It's very clever. We all know what Kindles are. I think they're very magical.

Kindles. But you don't use one. No, I don't like them. I like a book. Yeah Do you travel with books cause so my suitcase is so heavy, why don't you just take a Kindle when you try that? It just wasn't the same vibe Look at me saying vibe this week. It doesn't give the same vibing over. It doesn't give the same book energy Mmm, I like the smell, the paper, the anyway. Anyway, couldn't find my car. That's my meltdown. It's special. Yes, new, new and special. I mean, I have had that many, many, many times before you say anything previous to the perimenopause. Okay. The thing is it was

the first sign that my grandma had early onset dementia. So it did worry me slightly on that front. She used to park her car and then not know where she'd parked it and then call the police and say it was stolen. But of course, she just couldn't remember. Every day when I come out the gym, I always have that moment of where did I park? But also because I'm in that gym every day and I'm in that car park every day, you could very easily mistake the parking spot that you had the day before for that day. That's very easily done. Yeah, it is.

But it's a horrible feeling when you can't find your car. But that's why you have Google Maps. It's always in there in parked car. Yeah, it normally always is, but it wasn't and I don't know why. Maybe you had the other car with you. Oh, maybe. Anyway, that's my meltdown. Okay, but just FYI, if you do lose your car, it's in parked cars.

What's your meltdown of the week? My meltdown of the week is buying bikinis, not for the reason that you think, because you had a whole meltdown, I think it was last week or the week before about swimsuit shopping. Yeah. It is now impossible to buy a bikini set.

What? Yeah. But they come as a set. No, they they, well they don't. This is what I'm saying. They don't anymore. They come as a bikini top and a bikini bottom. So you'll find the top and I've been buying loads of stuff on Brand Alley because they have FYI loads of Sea Foley bikinis. I get all my stuff on there for like 30 quid. Now, see Foley bikini is 100 plus. Wow. So they do see for us. Yeah, they do see. Okay. Bikinis. I mean, they'll be really old, old stock. Yeah, but who cares? And many, many, many, many websites sell like this.

They sell the top and then they sell the bottom. So you'll find the top, you put it in your basket and then you have to trawl through, hopefully trying to find the bikini bottoms. But when you put it in the basket and then you have to troll through, hopefully trying to find the bikini bottoms. But when you put it in the basket and then you scroll down, doesn't it say you may also like and then show you the matching bottoms? Well that's just a shit website then. No, it's not, but it's not just Brand Alley.

Asos do it too. That's ridiculous. And occasionally if you put in bikini sets with Asos, you'll get like 18 options. But is this because every bitch in England has complained because... Why is it with the word bitch? I mean, is this a new word in your vocabulary? You said it a lot last week and now it's here. Maybe it is. I don't know. Is this just like the perimenopausal rage that now you say bitch more? It might be. But I just remember this whole diatribe of women moaning, well I'm an eight on the top but I'm a twelve on the bottom and I can't live so whenever I buy

a bikini I know it's too big one way or too big the other way. What? Such a thing. I don't like the tone of your voice. Okay I'm not appreciative of this tone. Oh do you have the same problem? You want a different size? Yes I've always been one size or even two sizes bigger on the bottom than I am the top. Well it's your people that have started this problem because it never happened before your people started complaining about it. This is why I wear a swimsuit it's one size. That is not why you wear a swimsuit. It's one of the reasons why. No it isn't. That is a lie. Actually I actually know if I would be the same size top and bottom in a bikini or not.

I've got a clue. Because when I used to wear them... You must buy, you must occasionally buy a set of something. No. What? You must, you must do. Like what? I don't know.

I'm trying to think, but I'm often buying like... I don't. Okay. When you buy a t-shirt, when you buy bottoms, you're always the same size. Depends on the brand. Right. So sometimes you'll, I'm always bigger on the bottom. I'm usually bigger on the top. Interesting. Sometimes it depends what it is and what the brand is and also how big or small I want it to be. How loose or tight. The point is,

if you're going to sell a bikini, can you sell it as a set? Or if it's only going to be a top, that's fine. I've got these gorgeous green bikini bottoms. I have nothing to wear it with. Nothing. They came. I ordered them by mistake. They look great. They don't look great with my baps hanging out. Just go topless. I can't go topless. Just go topless. At what point do you stop going topless? Aren't you going to France? Everyone's topless there. It's chic. No one. Firstly, when was the last time you were in France? Secondly, no going to topless? Aren't you going to France? Everyone's topless there. It's chic. No one.

Firstly, when was the last time you were in France? Secondly, no one is topless on the beach at all. What? No. Really? I see a lot of topless people on the beach. They don't. I do.

Where? Everywhere. Not in France. Not in the south of France. They are not topless. Really? Well, I'm going to go topless away with our friends, Jon and Sarah. I'm going to go topless with them. I think you just match those green bikini bottoms with a Marlboro light on the beach and you are set. That's

the outfit. That's the whole outfit. I love it. When you want to create an outfit, you always involve a cigarette. It's weird. Because it's part of the French look. Fag, bikini bottoms, maybe in the other hand a drink. That's the outfit. I think if I was going just in the green bikini bottoms, I would have more problems than the fucking fag. I don't think anyone would notice that. Well, it would distract from the baps, wouldn't it? It'd be like Nicole, why are you smoking? They didn't even notice you had your baps out. I promise you. I think my friend Sarah would take me to the side and ask me if I was okay.

Do you want to hear the feedback of the listeners meltdowns? Yeah. Okay. Do you remember the woman who wrote in to say that they had lost their friend to Jesus? They had this girl's gang and one of them had found religion and she didn't want them to drink when they were away and she wanted them to change the name of the WhatsApp group. Okay. So Mobile Maisie says, tell said friend she's welcome to still come, but that nothing will be changing and either she's on board with that or she doesn't have to come. I agree with that. I totally agree that although it's a very hard... Hard line. Yeah. Yeah. Ali says

it's difficult because you can't just change all of your group stuff for one person, but maybe see if the friend group are willing to change something if your newly religious friend is their true friend. That's a bit more measured, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's a similar sentiment. Someone else said it sounds typical of a brainwashed convert who feels more self-righteous and wants to ruin everyone's fun. Delete her from your group, she'll only get worse. Harsh man. That's a bit mean. Yeah. Respect her views. If she no longer fits in with your drinking club, find something different to do with her or separate with love. No, I mean I think it's down to her to deal with it because she's made the changes. You

guys haven't. Why should you all bend over backwards to accommodate her shift? You can you respect her shift and understand it and make space for it for sure. But I don't think you have to change your behavior just because she's now religious. Rob says I'm with Jesus on this one. Have we not heard any more of Philip? No, Philip's gone quiet this week. Philip? Where art thou Philip? Where art thou Philip?

Yeah. Talking to yourself, fly off to Paris. Yeah, to meet Philip and do a nude photo. So you don't need a bikini top there. It wasn't a photo, it was a portrait. Sorry, even worse, a portrait. Sorry even worse a portrait You are even worse dirty photos are much more rude than a painting No, yes, I

Mean the fact that some stranger on the internet has invited you to Paris You asked and asked you to pose nude for a painting. No, you're right. Again. You're right. It's not dirty. It hasn't actually. It's not. It's all above board. It's all fine. You should go. I encourage it. I support it. Again, what a good idea. He hasn't actually invited us. It was just a theoretical question. Okay. Anyway, you're going to France anyway, so you might as well go and see. I'm going to Paris. And you haven't got a bikini top, so you're already dressed. It's true. I am set up well. There you go. It's fine. It's meant to be. So we were talking about how I talk to myself in the supermarket and other places before you pipe in with that. And someone was talking to themselves in the banana aisle whilst I was there and we

bonded over that. Paul said, and really what I said is that he was flirting with you and you didn't realize. I don't think he was, but only he knows. Paul says, I talk to myself in the supermarket. I'm usually cursing someone and usually much louder than I think I'm doing it. Oops. Why is he cursing someone in the supermarket? Maybe they're like reaching over him in an aisle or they're when they you know when they... Well you know when they leave their trolley.

Oh yeah and they wander off. I hate that and FYI I do that. Do you? But I still hate it in other people. I'm allowed they're not. Oh I see. Okay. I'm alright with the double standard.

Okay. Splat says I talk to myself a lot mainly when I'm on my own at home, at work or in the car. My boyfriend talks to himself, but not when he's alone. I've worked out when it's an internal conversation or a shared one. I mean, I don't think I talk to myself. No, you don't. But you also know when you're with me when I'm talking to myself or when I'm talking to you.

But I'm also never on my own. So I've always got someone to talk to. You're on your own a lot? Yeah. I am so rarely on my own. Constantly on my own. You're constantly on your own? Yeah. How? How are you on your own? I'm so jealous. Like when are you on your own? All the time. When? In the daytime, in the evening, on the weekend. You're on your own in the evening? Sometimes, yeah. Once out, doing other stuff. Yeah, on my weekend. You're on your own in the evening? Sometimes yeah. Once out, doing other stuff. Yeah, on my own. It's okay, I've got a puppy now. She never leaves me on my own.

Ever. Not even for ten seconds. Aww. Aww. Is the honeymoon phase over? It might be. I remember for two weeks. Yeah. didn't have a midlife meltdown because you were in puppy bliss. Yeah I'm not in puppy bliss now, I'm in puppy bite now. Well she's a puppy. She is definitely a puppy. Yeah. Kelly says oh my god I talk to myself, I argue with myself, it's constant, I get more sense from myself. Yeah, yeah, sometimes you do get more sense from yourself. Sometimes you don't. Sometimes you don't. And sometimes when you think you're talking to yourself and you're making sense, that's the time when you should probably share it with somebody else.

What's going on? George and Amal Clooney have revealed that they have never ever had an argument. I mean, I just shut up. They described their marriage as the easiest thing in their lives by far. George Clooney is 63 and he said that he and his wife, she's 47, still haven't found anything to argue over and we're having a really great time in life. This is a lie. Good for them. It's not true. Good for them. It's not true. I feel so extraordinarily lucky to have met this incredible woman, he added. I feel as if I've hit the jackpot. He has hit the

jackpot. I mean she's pretty amazing. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think I'm the luckiest man in the world, so it's great. Do you think Adam and Ollie go through the day thinking that? Clooney was recently asked to update everyone on the matter and his response was we're trying to find something to fight about. Can I just say A they have twins so I would imagine that was quite full on. But also, B, the shit that most couples fight about is real mundane shit that George and Amal probably pay for other people to do. E.g. Detox the work surface, who's unloading the dishwasher, you haven't put the bin out, the domestic chores, the domestic shit that grates and irritates and causes minor resentment that then builds into medium-sized resentment that then just basically makes you hate your husband or wife for short periods.

When you are Georgina Malkluni, you're staffed up. And I think staffing up is the solution. You always think. You, to everything. I know you do. Staff up. I know you seem to think that if you have staff, everything's fine. Staff up. No. Yeah. It doesn't take away like everything. But you've got a lot less to moan and argue over, haven't you? Because someone else is doing all the grunts, so you can just enjoy the fun bits of marriage. There's a lot more to marriage than sharing the domestic load. Well there isn't, there isn't, but also you know the amount of time you waste in a marriage talking about things like, oh well we need to sort out this flight for holiday, we need

to sort out the insurance for the dog. When there's PAs, they've done all that shit for you so your marriage is freed up to just talk about you know what about your feelings and your fun and you have fun with your kids because the nanny does the boring pick up from this person. The cook is making their dinner so there's no mom what's for dinner because the cook's making dinner so you can just sit at a table with your kids with this meal that someone else has cooked that someone else is clearing up and just enjoy just enjoy your family. I mean great. Also you're married to George Clooney so what have you got to moan about?

Oh do you know what? Have you seen pictures of Brad Pitt recently? He does not he is not aging well. What? He's had a facelift he should be aging very well. He looks terrible. Why? What's happened? The facelift? I just think he looks terrible. He just like, I actually

though it came up on one of my Instagram, I think we follow entertainment news. Oh yeah, we do. And it came out he was with his wife or girlfriend, whoever she is. Who? Who's his girlfriend? I don't know. Anyway, the point is I'm like, who's that old man? And then I looked again and it was Brad Pitt. And I was like, and I zoomed in to say, to see if he was still this beauty of a man. And he isn't. He was Brad Pitt and I was like and I zoomed in to say to see if he was still This beauty of a man and he isn't he looks very ordinary and old just saying I have to say apart from Thelma and Louise When he was like what 25 he's never been he's never done it for me. I Definitely prefer Clooney. Also. Have you seen Rob Lowe recently? I've seen him in Oceans 11

Yeah, but he's not he just doesn't do it for me Because he's next to George Clooney. I've said this many times. So I'm saying I prefer Clooney. Clooney is everything. What about Rob Lowe? He's had a facelift. Am I arguing with George Clooney? What are you arguing with? It's George Clooney. Oh George. I still don't believe it though. Oh George. You're so silly George. You forgot to do that because who cares, it's George, you just forgive him anything. Just make me another Nespresso George and it's all fine. You know, he doesn't even have to make the espresso if someone else makes the Nespresso. But he knows how. Imagine, I bet he does know how, imagine if you're married to George Clooney and you never have to use kitchen roll in your kitchen or a mop. Do you know what I mean?

You are living your best life. You just get to hang out with George. A George Clooney. No domestic load. Great. It sounds great. It does sound great. No wonder they don't argue. What have they got to argue about? She's gorgeous. He's gorgeous. They're both very clever. Yeah. I'm sure she's scintillating conversation. She's a very eminent lawyer. It's gorgeous. They're both very clever. Yeah. I'm sure she's scintillating conversation. She's a very eminent lawyer.

It's great. Good for them. I feel great. Right. Let's get onto Alistair's meltdown. Come on. Well, hang on, hang on. There's just one more thing to say. Oh yeah.

Tupperware theft. Yeah, what about it? Someone wanted to talk to us about it. Listen. Did they? They did. That's, listen, this show celebrates the mundane. It's fine.

It's fine. There's not anything more important going on in the world at all. No, there isn't. Apart from the Tupperware because you were going on about the fucking salmon dish. Yeah. Weren't you last week? And you confessed that you stole your mother-in-law's Tupperware and never gave it back. Yeah.

Just like the listener who wrote in to say that her mother-in-law stole her Tupperware. Yeah. Okay, so this woman says, hell no, there is a special place in hell for Tupperware thieves. Joking. You have written this. I swear. You little fibber. You have written this. I swear on my life I haven't. Joking aside, she says, I'd be pissed off. They are not cheap. The clicky lid ones. This was a clicky lid one. Especially not the glass clicky lid ones. I would be crossed too. And as for the salmon serving platter, Lauren, you need to investigate. Also, please

come I have your chicken soup recipe. No, it's a family secret. Sorry, you can't. My husband is useless with Tupperware. He chucks it away. Like, hello, crazy man. He chucks it away. That's a meltdown in and of itself. Whose husband chucks away the Tupperware? What? No. I bet George Clooney doesn't chuck away the Tupperware. He doesn't know where the Tupperware is. He doesn't even know what Tupperware is. Because he's starved up. He doesn't need to. You're right. He's never seen Tupperware. You know that Tupperware is actually a brand name. I do know that because when my mum lived in the States in her 20s, she used to be part

of a Tupperware party circuit. Did she? Yep. It was all the rage. We should go to one. I don't even know if they exist anymore. Of course they exist somewhere in Wisteria Lane. We should definitely go to one just to bring some amazing middle-aged content.

I want to host one. Never mind go to one You should host one shall I? Yeah What's the list of meltdown this week? Hi Lauren and Nicole. I had to share my midlife moment winner this week. I'm a doctor working in the NHS. I wore a new white shirt dress to work yesterday. Halfway through the day, one of my patients in the waiting room knocked on my door and told me I may want to go and check the back of my dress. She said, as another woman, I thought I had to tell you, oh my God, I had bled on it.

Perimenopause had randomized my period so I had no idea it was coming. I was really grateful for her kindness, but I had to go to the toilet, strip off and wash it with the hand soap, then use my cycling shorts as knickers for the rest of the day. Lucky she had cycling shorts on. It was a real midlife nightmare and all I could think was that my husband is not dealing with this shit during his working day. No he is not. Ah, that's not nice.

Has that ever happened to you? What, a surprise period? Yeah, like bleeding through your clothes. Yes. It's awful. Yes, it has happened to me. In public? It is awful. In public? I was at work. Oh, so embarrassing. But not for a long time. Not for a long time. Yeah. But I always get a surprise period. I mean, even though I had periods for how many years? 35 years. Yeah yeah they were always as fucking surprised

but you know there's so few surprises in life isn't it fun to have one every month or so or not once a month but every just so often now they're a surprise ding here I am anytime you need to go and get your perimenopausal blood stun yeah they always say oh we need to do it three three to five of your cycle so i'm in the perimenopause i don't know when the fucking when i'm a fine my fucking cycle yeah and they're like oh well when what was the day of your last period i said i don't know the end of never like i can't remember oh i've just come on like i don't know it's literally that random yeah yeah they need

to work that out so it's better like we need to go at certain days in your cycle? But the whole point of me coming to get my blood stun is that I haven't had a period Oh poor woman, I'm sorry Fuck the perimenopause, fuck the perimenopause Do you know just fuck it, fuck it Oh we're back there We never left there When did we leave?

Sorry, I wasn't aware that we went somewhere else. Okay. We never left. Okay. Okay. It's just every week is a different level of fuck the perimenopause. So you sneezed on it. It must be true. Excuse me. Must be true. Must be true. If you're saying it, then it's true.

My mom's friend always used to say, bless you, it's true. Really? Yeah. My grandfather used to say, bless you, it's true. Really? Yeah. My grandfather used to say, bless you, God's spare you. What? Because like, where am I going? What am I being spared for? Death, spared from death.

Like, you know, I don't know. God bless you, my darling. That is, every time. That is, no, God bless you. Yeah. Well, it is bless you, isn't it? It is God bless you. Bless you, God's spare you, my darling. And he would always say that. Stop. Yeah. Now you know is bless you, isn't it? It's bless you. Bless you. God spare you, my darling.

He would say that. Yeah. Now you know where it comes from. It's dark. Well, that is why you say bless you and people sneeze because of the plague. It was one of the first signs that you had the bubonic plague was sneezing. So people would bless you when you sneeze so that you don't die. It's like the COVID when you couldn't taste anything. A bit like that. A little bit like that. Or you'd start coughing. Or you heard someone cough. Do you remember those dark days? That wasn't cool. That's why people, that's why children sing that song, ring a ring a roses, a pocket full

of posies, a tissue, a tissue, we all fall down. Because the smell of all the bodies from the plague, people used to wear a little posy so it smelt better and then a tissue, we all fall down because the smell of all the bodies from the plague, people used to wear a little posy so it smelt better and then a tissue, a tissue, then they'd all die. I know a lot about the bubonic plague, it's one of my favourite subjects. It's funny because it's never come up in all the years I've known you. It has now. I'm thinking as you're sitting here telling us and educating us all about the bubonic plague, like this is a fun space. What are you saying? The plague wasn't much fun. telling us and educating us all about the bubonic plague. Like, this is a fun space.

What are you saying? The plague wasn't much fun. This is a fun space. There is so, like, don't ever, don't listen to the news, watch the news, like, you know, shit is dark at the moment. People are coming onto 40ish to laugh, be silly, have a bit of a joke and a bit of fun about all their shitty menopausal symptoms. Like, that's what we're here to do. No one is actually coming here to talk about the fucking plague. What about

the fact that Primrose Hill is only really a hill because it's on top of the bodies of the buried from the plague. I'm not actually sure if that's true but I was always taught that. I mean how true does that actually sound? It doesn't sound that true but it was like a fact. Considering that whole area is quite hilly. Yeah, I was always like told that fact was true as a kid. You know, I go to Primrose Hill quite a lot. I need to Google that shit because is that true or not? No. Are you sure? What it's a graveyard, is that what you're saying? It's a hill of a graveyard. I'm gonna Google it. It's a graveyard hill. Yeah. Is Primrose Hill a hill because of the bodies from the plague? If it is, if it is.

Oh, okay. It isn't. It actually isn't, but there were proposals to use it as a burial ground. I was always told that it was, but London does have many plague pits and some are near Primrose Hill. So there you go. Excellent. Who knew that you were coming here to learn a history lesson about the Vibhonic Plague? Love it. Okay, with that, we can't finish our bubonic plague. We can't. But we have. I mean, we go to some weird places. Last week we were talking about Michael Bolton, I think. Oh, Michael Bolton. Michael Bolton. And this

week we were talking about the bubonic plague. I talk so much shit with you. I mean, it is like a fucking talent. Imagine if you worked in too, you'd never get to sit here over weekday and chat to me about the plague and George Clooney and Nespresso. What does he advertise? Nespresso. Or is it Nescafe? It's Sun Coffee. Because he, I think it's an espresso I don't care I don't care what he's serving I drink it oh I'm definitely drinking from that Kool-Aid yeah yeah whatever he offers me up even at 63 he is he is the ultimate but I do have the feeling if you serve me a coffee I'd be like George has I got a sweetener in it and it would put him straight off. I don't think you'd be noticing the sweetener. I think I would. If George Clooney suddenly appears on a rooftop in Italy. You always got to make it unrealistic. It's got to be

a rooftop in Italy and he's got to be in like a linen suit. Very specific. I don't care what he's wearing. Okay. I do. No you don't. No you don't. I can't. What a lie. Anyway, he's suddenly, hi Lauren, let me make you a coffee and you're like in front of George Clooney. You're like, actually George Clooney. Where's Ollie though? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. He's actually making you a coffee. He's actually like putting on the coffee machine and he's stirring the coffee. What time of day is it? What am I wearing? It doesn't matter, none of this is relevant. George Clooney is making you a coffee. There is no way. You are so starstruck and awestruck and in like total disbelief that there is this godly man in front of you giving you this coffee, making

you this coffee. You don't give a fuck about the coffee. You're like, George, have you got any hand seizures? I would. He wouldn't. I don't know. You wouldn't. I just don't think you'd be focused on the sweetener. You just wouldn't. If it ever happens, I'll let you know. I know you will let me know. I'll text you under the table. George, just make me a coffee. Do me a favour. No sweet now. Do me a favour. What an arsehole. No linen suit. Do me a favour. Yeah. If that ever happens to either one of us, let's make a pact. Okay. We don't have to text each other in the moment. Just enjoy the moment. No, I have to text you one of us. Let's make a pact. Okay, we don't have to text each other in the moment Just enjoy the moment. No, I have to text you in the moment. I have to

Obviously have to I don't think I'd cope with the moment. You would you'd be great. You'd be really good in that moment Do you think so? Yeah Thank you. I think you'd really give it some charm. You think I'd really rise to the challenge. I do do you yeah. Yeah I would probably talk to him about the plague. You would be like, George, where's your suit from? It's absolutely charming. And this is a wonderful place you've got here in Italy. bridle have the bodies of the plague? It's a real turn on to chat about the black death. I told you you wouldn't be worrying about the swine huh? I think it's safe to say we're both out of practice. God help anyone who had to go on a date with me now! I feel so sorry for them! I wouldn't want to wear a bra! You'd be moan you wouldn't be able to find your car!

You'd be moaning about the parking! You'd be like, you'd be such a fucking Karen! They wouldn't mind about the bra by the way, that's the least of your problems. You've got nice boobs. I've got great boobs but they're better in a bra. Okay, I need to go now. Okay. We are going to be back on Thursday with a brand new episode. Oh, my ribs hurt.

That's because I did a hundred Russian twists today. What? I'm saving the Russian twists for next week. I don't even know what that is. And to be honest, you could have made it up and I still wouldn't. Oh dear. Bye everybody. affecting teens now and then. This is Lesson Advice Pod, more of an audio panic room. Join us every Monday for the main ep and Wednesday for your turn where we hear your teen tales, past and present.

Teen Commandments, find us where you get your podcasts. P.S. teenagers, pick up your wet towels. And don't call us bruh.