40ish - Unfiltered - Calf strain, retail shame and where did I put that bike?

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

This week on unfiltered, Nicole has sustained a middle aged accident whilst playing the most middle aged of sports. Lauren obtains short lived retail glory after obtaining the “it” pair of loafers at M&S only to realise that she hates them and a listener questions if she is in perimenopause after an accidental bike sale. (Spoiler alert, yes)  We would love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everybody, welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Laura Mishkund. This is the sidekick show, the junior counterpart to 40ish, isn't it? I thought about junior. You know what, it's not the younger version. It's the kind of accessory. It's like a handbag charm. Yeah, no, it's more than a handbag charm. It's like a side dish? It's more than a side dish. I would say it's coming on par with 40ish. True. Why can't it just be like, it's even more than a wallet. Is it like a premium patty? Is it like the first, the pasta course before the main course? Yeah, but it's off. It's the dessert. Oh, the dessert. You see, I feel like it's more of an amuse-bouche. You feel it's more of a no because we're feeding back. Okay. On shows past. Okay. It's the dessert. Yeah. Okay. I like the dessert show version of the main show of 40 ish. It's like a dessert trolley because it's full of everything. Well, that makes it sound very dated. Remember dessert trolleys? Yeah. Totally remember dessert trolleys. I never really understood dessert trolleys because they're so like how long have they been sat there? You know, well I

would assume only for that evening. But I don't know. I just, it always, I was worried if things were stale. Oh really? I think just the idea of a dessert trolley is stale in itself. Isn't it? It's very dated. Yeah. Look, I'm not a massive one for desserts, but the thought of a dessert trolley does excite me because of the choice. Yeah. And it's all out there, isn't it? And you can see what you're getting. I mean, if I came to your house and you presented me with a dessert trolley, I'd be very happy. I'd also think we'd gone back to the nineties.

Nineties? Seventies? Sixties or seventies? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you weren't around in the sixties. But they definitely had hostess dessert trollies. Did your mum ever have the trolley with the hot plate on top? Yes. Yes. Okay. Yes. To be honest though, and I know this is true, of anyone's house that you know, and you went around and they had a dessert trolley, it's most likely to be my house. Yes. Yeah. But you don't. I don't. But that's not to say I don't wish. No, I think that's untrue. Who? Like your aunt?

Not my aunt. I'll tell you why it's untrue for you to have a dessert trolley. Because you're a very modern contemporary cook and you make from all different cuisines and you're very up to date with your cooking. I would say you are a very trendy cook. Thank you. But I-

So if you pulled out a dessert trolley, that would be completely wrong. You're not like a classic cook You're experimental and you cook from a whole different range of cuisines. But the idea does appeal to me I think it's because you can like, you know sometimes you have a whole menu with all the desserts on and you're like I do fancy the apple pie, but also that chocolate fudge thing looks nice, but you can't see it But if you actually saw them one would be so obviously better looking than the other and you'd know what you wanted.

But with the dessert trolley, it's all out there for you to see. What about what happened the other night? You say that you're not a dessert trolley kind of person. Yeah. But we went out for dinner. Yeah. We went to a beautiful networking evening, didn't we? Oh, we had such a good night.

We had such a good night. Yeah. You nicked my dessert. I did. You actually didn't even ask me if you could have it. I just put my, I just put a hand out for it. I just gave it to you. You did. But that's because you're not having sugar. And also be honest, how big was the dessert? It was one bite. It was like, you know, not even like it was the size of like a Ferrero Rocher. Yes, it was that small. Yeah. So to say I

ate mine and yours, that's like, yeah, I did. But it's like saying I had two Ferrero Rocher's. It was that size. Yeah. It was. And they gave it to you to eat with a toothpick. That's how small the dessert was. I don't either. Because the rest of the dinner was flawless. Yeah. No, it was tasty.

But also I was trashed by that point. So I probably would have eaten nine. I was quite drunk. It was, you know, it was the tequila cocktail at the end. You hadn't had that yet. You know, you would know you were talking very, you were talking very loudly. It was basically, it was a networking event for one of our sponsors that we've worked with many times over the years. Yeah. And they very kindly invited us to like this annual dinner that they put on and it was very elegant and it was in a beautiful restaurant in the middle of London. Davina McCall was there

and we had lovely chats. Davina McCall was hosting it and Dame Leslie Regal was hosting it and it was, it was, it was very highbrow. And when they were speaking to the panelists, cause it was all about healthcare and what was happening in healthcare and there were like four, five, six different panelists. And when they were speaking, you decided to just have a gossip to the girl next door to you very loudly. What was I talking about? Maybe you can't even say, I don't know what you were talking about, but it was too loud. Oh no. And it's so unlike you. Yeah, that is unlike me. And even the girl that was sat next to you told you to shush. That's so bad. Yeah.

It's quite 40. She couldn't really hear. Couldn't really hear yourself. You couldn't really hear yourself. I'm sure I could hear myself. I think I just have too much to drink. My God. That's so bad. I haven't been drinking as you know, it was so funny. It was a bit of an anomaly for me to just free flow with the wine. Yeah. But you know what? Why not? I haven't been drinking for weeks and weeks and weeks. Still. Yeah. Still. That night was just a one off in a good way. But you would drink with dinner every night. Would you normally? I'd have one glass of wine, maybe one and a half. Okay. Yeah, I would. Right. But and you've just stopped that. Is Ollie having it? I know he's not been there. But no, he stopped in the week as well. Okay. Was it a conscious decision? Because

I feel like it's just happened out of the blue. It's well, I just didn't do it for a bit because I was feeling so shocking in the mornings. And then when I didn't have a glass of wine, I didn't feel shocking in the morning. So at night I was like, why am I going to have this glass of wine? Cause I never feel terrible the next day. Hi, perimenopause, another fun symptom. It is, that is a very real symptom of perimenopause. Have one glass of wine, wake up the next day, feel like you've had half a bottle. Right. What's going on with our listeners this week? Okay. What have they been feeding back on? Alexa Chung.

They've been feeding back on Alexa Chung. This lovely lady wrote in to us, her very tall, handsome boyfriend was walking her to the bus stop when Alexa Chung walked in the other direction and her boyfriend and Alexa locked eyes and she was feeling very... She went into a whole spin about it. Insecure, right? Rae-Lynn said, when someone looks at us like that, he's a man by the way, we just look back because we assume they know us. So we're trying to figure it out and not be rude. Focus on the fact that he's walking you to the bus stop. Lovely.

Oh, that's cute. But I don't think if someone looked at my husband, I don't think he would assume that they're looking at him because they know him. He would assume they're looking at him because they're checking him out. Well, he would. Splat said, if she, if she asked him, he probably didn't even notice. They're often so oblivious. Just focus on the fact that he was walking her to the bus stop and not that Alexa is a racehorse.

Yeah. A thoroughb a racehorse. Yeah. A thoroughbred. Yeah. Yeah. LS Walker said men, they're like buses. There's always another one coming. Oh, oh, no. No, she likes this guy.

She likes him. Listen, I don't think she had anything wrong. I think it just threw her for a loop and let's hope she's feeling a bit more centered in herself now. Yeah, I get it though. I get it. I do get it. But it was it was much it said much more about her than it did the situation. Of course. There was also feedback on the smear test. No, not really about what happened at the smear test, but more about the question, which actually I'd like your answer on this too. What do you do with your knickers? Because people, people have, you know, like their thing that they do with their knickers.

So at Shell said, do you cling onto your knickers in your hand for dear life or do you hide them in your shoe? I actually do neither. I hide them under my, well, I'm hiding them like, you know, like we all know we're wearing knickers. I put them in between life. I'm wearing leggings or trousers. I put them in between that. Yeah. Like a sandwich. Okay. And you, I, I fold them very neatly and fold your knickers. Yup. And I put them under the trousers. So I'll have sweet. Isn't it? Neither one of us would leave them on top. Why? Why pathetic? It is pathetic and weird because Adam wouldn't even pick that. They'd probably be on the floor. Yeah. I expect the doctor to pick them up and wash them and dry them and fold them and put them back in his pant drawer.

But it is a kind of weird universal thing that all women going for a smear test have to hide their knickers. No, I know you know I'm wearing knickers because I've come in in trousers and knickers and you know I've got to take the knickers off. But God forbid you should see in the room evidence of the knickers. It's the most embarrassing thing I haven't seen the other day about this. When we spoke about smear tests, it was in the same episode as when I was talking about paddle.

Now I can't remember the title of the show, it was last week, paddle something. Paddle and pap smears. Something like that. Anyway, my friend, we're on this paddle group with the four of us, the people I play paddle with. Oh, it's extended to a WhatsApp group already? No, no, it already had. Oh. no, no. It wasn't a paddle group.

Right. Initially, it's just the four of us. It's just with another couple. Oh, I see. Okay. Okay. But have you changed the icon to a paddle bat? You better. Actually, I think Toby has changed it to Toby is the husband of the other couple. Yeah. I think he's changed the name to like paddle wankers or something. Okay. Good. Excellent. I was hoping for that. Right. Right. So, um, so she put a picture, the show had just flashed up in her library. So she snapshot it and then put it on the group and said, I'm so excited to hear this because it said paddle. So she knew I was going to be talking about the fact that we play paddle. Um, anyway, so Toby's like, Oh great. I'm

going to have a listen. And about 15 minutes later, he writes back, he's never listened to my show before, he writes back, well, I've just been educated all about smear tests. Oh, sorry, but only mine. Did you talk about yours? Yes. Oh, okay. I've got my results, by the way, all clear.

Oh, yay. We're all clear. Both of us don't need it for another three years. Isn't it sweet how we've synced? It's so sweet. It's delightful. Because we don't have periods anymore, so we have to sync our smears.

I do have periods, excuse me. Speak for yourself. Yeah, but I don't, so our periods aren't gonna, they're not gonna. No, they're not gonna sync anymore. That's true. That's true, we've passed that phase now. Anyway, so Toby knows all't going to, they're not going to sink anymore. That's true. That's true. We've passed that phase now. Anyway, so Toby knows all about your smear now. Okay. That's fine. You know when you

have this moment of, I forget people actually listen. I have that moment all the time. All the time. Yeah. All the time. I mostly assume I'm just sitting here talking to you. You are. Well, you're not. But I'm not. But I am. Well, I had it on Saturday night when they were both like, yeah, yeah, I've heard about that. Yeah, yeah, I've heard about that. Maybe we should just make stuff up that isn't true at all. And then see if people are like, oh my God, I can't believe la la la happened to you. It didn't, but let me tell you about something real and boring that did. Let's go to a break. And then we're coming back with all the meltdown beginning of the show, but we forgot because

we were talking other shit. Yeah, I don't even know what we're talking about. Never mind. Dessert Trollies. Yeah, that feels vaguely familiar. We can do them now. Do you know what? There's no rule. No, because it's our show. Yeah. There's also no like midlife meltdown boss that's going to come in and be like, you should have done that at the top of the show. And also we don't have any bosses. No, no bosses. And also we've been nominated for three awards.

We could do whatever we like. Okay. And hopefully in a few weeks we'll be award winning. We'll be an award winning show. Award winning comedy podcasters. That's a joke in itself, right? Oh, poor James. He's sneezing. He's snufflinguffling, got terrible hay fever. Poor James.

What's your moan of the week? My moan of the week. Yep. Oh, God. It's a big one coming. It is a big one. I can feel it brewing. It is a big one. I'm really, really, really unhappy about it. Oh, bless you, James. Oh, poor James.

He sounds like he's dying in there. My midlife mode. Yeah. So, you know, I said that I had gotten into paddle. Yes. Oh, can you hear him blowing, sneezing, groaning? If it wasn't a middle-aged podcast, we'd have to edit that out. I'm just going to leave it in. Yeah. So I'm now utterly obsessed with paddle. That didn't take long. And it's escalated. What do you mean? It's escalated.

You bought an outfit. I haven't bought an outfit. Do you know someone on Instagram has offered you paddle accessories? If you missed this message. No, I replied. You did not. I did. Okay. Double check. I thought I did

reply. No. Oh, but someone else offered us paddle. They said they just set up a paddle company and can they send us some stuff? And I said, I've just started playing paddle. Yes. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. It must be the same. Yeah. Um, anyway, yes is the answer. Yes. We want paddle accessories. Well, I don't you do. about. Yeah. It must be the same. Yeah. Anyway. Yes. Is the answer. Yes. We want paddle accessories. Well, I don't you do. Anyway. Yeah. I bought myself a paddle racket. Do you need your own racket? They lend them to you. Why are you giving me a quizzical look? Why are you quizzical about that? It's like playing tennis. No, it's not. No, no, no. Yes, it is. No, it is not. No, yes, it is. No, yes, it is not.

I'm not a tennis player, but I live with two of them. The tennis racket, the weight, the strings, no, no, no, I'm not saying it's very personal paddle rackets, a paddle racket. No, it isn't. What do you mean? There's all like there's a million different types of tennis rackets. There's a million different types of paddle rackets. Okay. So you can't just like borrow one at the club. Yeah, you can. Right. Well, but it's no good. Well, I don't know. Oh, okay. I just felt like we're going down this road. We seem to be on this road. Here we are. I need to, I need to, you need the right. I need the gear. Okay. Need the gear. Color is it? It's gray. Thanks for trying to say I really appreciate the question, but that isn't what my meltdown is.

All right. Anyway, so think I'm just giving you context. Yeah. So I played on the Sunday. Yeah. I then went and played on Thursday. Yeah. Bless you, James. He says, please stop acknowledging it. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Sorry for being kind. And then played at, I then played on Friday. So I played, yeah, Sunday, Thursday, Friday. This week I'm playing Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. It's quite extra. And it's also escalated to tennis. Right. So we're now into tennis. Okay. I've used to play tennis, so this isn't brand new, but now I just feel like I can't not be on a paddle court or a tennis court.

You know me, I love to throw myself in. So on Friday morning, I go to play paddle. I'm playing my club, a different branch. I don't know anyone there. Bear in mind, I don't know anybody in this whole paddle world. It is a whole paddle scene. It's a whole cult. It's a whole cult. Yeah. It's a scene and it makes you feel a little bit insecure at first when you first walk on a paddle court, because I'm not a good player and you don't know how these women play. Are they all women? Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm in a woman's group. Oh, okay. I'm not going to play against. They're

not a tennis tennis. I played with men yesterday and I won. You have to move down courts and I ended on the first court. Well done. Thank you. Very good. Thank you. Um, anyway, Friday. Yeah. So I'm feeling quite sure of myself because I played on Thursday and I played really well. Yeah. We're just warming up, just knocking up with one of the women and then we start playing. The coach comes in and goes like, okay, just start match play now. We start playing. I ran for the first ball, tore my fucking calf, had to hobble off. That is very middle-aged. Well, because I'm playing a middle-aged sport, no disrespect with middle-aged women. And then I have a middle-aged injury just to match the whole middle-agedness of all of it. And then I stood there for about

half an hour trying to stretch my calf out. And then I went back on the court. I couldn't really move properly. And then I had to hobble off the paddle court. And then I was right at the end of the club. I had to hobble all the way back to my car, which took me about 10 minutes. That's bad. Not one person asked me if I was okay. Not one fucking person. They sound like mega bitches. Are you sure you want to be playing that? Not one. No, on the paddle court they did, but I mean on the hobble out, you know, the walk of shame out. And it's still really swollen. Is it? Yeah. Oh dear. What's that going to do for your week?

I don't know. I don't know. I've booked a physio appointment and everything. Oh my goodness. So my midlife mode is I've started a middle-aged sport and I'm already injured. and your body's already injured. Brilliant. Mine is that sometimes when I'm in bed, I like to scroll about two things. The first thing is puppy porn. Yup. It's my dark and secret thing that I scroll at night. It's not a secret because you send me a lot of them. I'm sending, I mean, and now I'm saying it on the podcast, but I look at litters that have been born. I look at the moms and dads. I look at the lineage. I look at the puppies.

You're never ever going to buy a puppy off of Instagram. No, no, they're not on Instagram. I subscribe to quite a few rescue sites. Oh, I see. So if rescue dogs come up, I get a notification and I have a look. They're often not puppies. They're dogs who need a new home. So I scroll through the rescue sites and then I have alerts set up on various breeding sites for when litters are born.

And I look at it. So that's what I do in bed. Puppy porn, I call it. And then I also read the news. But my algorithm, because of this podcast, basically just serves me M&S. M&S everything. If anything's happening in M&S, it is hitting my algorithm. What's happening in M&S?

I mean, apart from the viral genes, what is happening in M&S, it is hitting my algorithm. What's happening in M&S? I mean, okay, firstly, Olivia Von Hall is doing a collab. She's a designer of very expensive silky patterned pajamas. Oh, I know. I know. They've got like the animals on it. Yes. Yeah. She's doing collab with M&S. That's fun. It actually drops today. Well today, this will be next week, so it will already have dropped. It's probably already sold out by the time this is released, but that is fun. And I also got served this pair of tan suede viral loafers. Okay. Every single influencer is wearing these tan suede loafers. They're not.

Every single influencer. They are. They're not. They're not. Not on my algorithm, they're not. And they are sold out. Not on your algorithm, but on mine. No, I mean the influencers.

Well, they are on mine. And they're young, by the way. They're not middle-aged people. These are young, trendy girls, looking very cool. What are they wearing these brown spade loafers with? With like a cream sock and then a slightly cropped trouser and usually a trench coat. So it's very preppy.

Very preppy, cool. And like sunglasses and a bob, you know, like a whole city look. Yeah, a city going to work look. It's very preppy. Yeah, very preppy. I can see we are twin sit doing this very well. I became obsessed with these tan, swayed M&S loafers. I know, I know.

They are completely sold out, forget it. You can't get them and they're not restocking them. So it's done. In fact, they were so sold out that the next morning when I looked again on M&S, they'd just taken them off the website completely because there was no point anyone looking even if you had size two feet. I go to M&S to buy, I had to buy a bra and I just... You had to buy a bra? Yeah, I had to buy a bra. What's so surprising

about that? I can't remember the last time I bought a bra. I have one bra that I absolutely love and I thought why do I only have one when it's my favorite bra? I need the same bra in another color. So I went and I bought it. Good for you. I really need some bras. Right. Anyway, I'm in the shoe section. I'm like, I know this is pointless, but I'll just have a look. Lo and behold at the very bottom at the very back behind some other shitty loafers is one pair of the tan suede loafers and they're in my size. It was like God himself had delivered them to me. I was with Josh.

He was a little bit bemused at how excited I was. I was like, Josh, you don't understand. You don't understand because he's a very smart kid. He was like, mom, buy them, sell them for double on vintage, which was actually a very good idea because I did look on Vinted, they were selling for double the price. Serious. Serious, but not even in my size, so I still couldn't get them.

Bought them, took them home. Put them on Instagram. Put them on Instagram, what a flex, found the last pair in London, la la la la la. And then what did you have to say about them? You slagged them off. When we were at this talk, this evening, this networking evening that we were talking about, were we talking about on this show? I don't know. We've talked about it. Yeah. Went to this gorgeous evening. You were quite drunk and we were in and you had gone on and on about them. From when I met you at the station, from the walk to the station to the venue.

I was so excited, right? And then during the evening you were telling the girl next to you about them and that's when she told you to shush. And then in the lift again on the way back as we were coming out of the venue you were talking about them and I just had enough. The face, the face said it all. We were in a really busy lift with other people. I was sober, you were drunk and I said to you, I'm going to be really honest with you. I don't love the loafers. I just don't like them. You're like, I just don't like them. And then the woman looked at you, this random woman, she goes, Oh, don't worry. She's only joking. And you said, no, she's not. She's not. She's not. Anyway, the next day, the next morning sober and then can I tell you, I got a phone call from my friend Lauren, Lauren Morris slash

Rogers. That's her name. She called me up and she said, uh, can we just discuss the loafers? What? Yeah. No, she called me up and she said, uh, can we just discuss the loafers? What? Yeah. No, she's very stylish. She's Lauren. Okay. And uh, Miami Lauren. No, no. Um, Lauren, all your friends are called Lauren. It's really confusing. She's got a sample sale company. Oh yes. And she's been in luxury goods for many, many years. Yeah. Um, and she's always been in fashion. Yeah. And she said, can we just discuss the loafers? I'm like, what? She goes, did you buy the loafers? I said, Lauren, how? And I have known her forever. I said, how well do you know me? Cause she

saw them on self care club. And she said, I just don't, they're just not you. I'm like, cause they're not mine. They're Lauren's and I don't like them. She goes, okay, good. I thought something was going on with you. So I wanted to check. Amazing. Amazing. Yeah. So the next morning sober, I put on some jeans and a shirt. No socks. I put on the loafers and I'm like ready to rock the day and I look in the mirror, I know, I want to be this person, but I'm not this person. I want to identify as a woman who wears tan suede loafers and a whole chic look. Why? Because I like that as a look for me, but it's not my look. And they were awful. And basically I just looked really square

and really middle-aged, which is why the 20 year old girls look so cute in them because they're 20, so they can cosplay middle-aged, but I can't cosplay. And they wear them sometimes with like a palazzo pant and it just fucking works. Why can't I cosplay middle-aged? Because I am it. So you know what can't I cosplay middle age? Cause I am it.

So you know what happened? I took them back. I returned them. Still had the labels on. I hadn't worn them outside the home. Why didn't you sell them? As Josh said. I thought about it,

but you know the whole fucking faff of it. I just returned them. Could I tell you something? Yeah. Right. I've had a similar experience, right? And it's not with the loafers. And I am really sorry, but I am really also very pleased. Can I just say you slagging them off also didn't help. It didn't help the situation. Okay. But you were right. You were right. You were right. You slagged them off for a reason. You are welcome. I mean, look, you are the most unimpressible person I know.

I am. I am. It's true. So I can't even believe you listened to me. Well, it's just, you know, it's seeded. Even though I was drunk in the lift, the word seeded. I didn't think it would. I thought you would. You would love them. And I wouldn't. I don't. I'm pleased they've gone back. I hated them. I can't even tell you how much I hated them. Me too. Okay.

Me too. And now I'll be honest about what Lauren actually said about them. What did she say? Should they really square? She's like, they're just horrible. I like, I know I said, but Lauren likes them. You know, they're like a copy of the YSL one. Whatever.

Well, that's what we spoke about in the lift. And I said, I'm only interested in the backless Gucci ones. You're like, well, they don't do it in the backless Gucci ones. They actually do do a backless one, but they were even worse. Oh, that's what you said. It's all coming back to me now. Anyway. Yeah. I've had a similar experience. Yeah. Okay. This should have been my meltdown. Yeah. You know, when you see the young girls, right. And they do it on the color. Wow. Color. Wow. It's like a range of products. Okay. Hair products. Hair products. And what they do is they get this, and it usually just comes up in my stories or wherever, and they get this really like gorgeous, cool, there's some guy hairdresser, he looks like he's Italian,

or he definitely looks like he should speak with an accent, and he's very handsome. And what he does is she'll be sat there with hair like this, like mine, like just a straight bob, you know, and then he'll like spray something in her hair. And then he does this whole like thing and he like ruffles it up and she's got like a quiff and it's all like this. Oh, I've seen them. I've seen them. And she's got like big bouncy gorgeous hair. She looks sexy as hell.

Yeah. Yeah. Seen that. The whole advert is so sexy. Yeah. Anyway, I tried to do my hair like that. Cause I thought I'm a hairdresser. I can do that. I can, I can do, I don't need the color. Wow. I can do that. I could just do that. So I know what's coming.

Everyone knows what's coming. So I did it. Yeah. So I did the whole thing and had a poke with and it was like a whole Crystal Carrington thing. You know, remember Crystal Carrington? But her hair was all like coming up at the sides and it was all like this and it was all big. And it's like, it's back in fashion. But when I do it, you look like Auntie Val, age 69. Yeah. Or I fucking look like Crystal Carrington. I don't want to look like Crystal Carrington. Again, it's the same thing. It's the same thing. You can only cosplay middle-aged. When you're here, it looks shit. Okay. It looks like what it is on the tin. A middle-aged woman with big sprayed hair in suede loafers. Yeah, the beauty's in the youth.

It is. The trick is... The trick is be young. If you want to wear middle-aged shit or have middle-aged hair, you have to do it when you're 20. That's right. Yeah, that's right. We've all learnt a lesson here, I think. I have learnt a big lesson in life this week. Are we dropping the loafer thing now? Yeah, I've dropped it completely. There's nothing in my wardrobe goes with the loafer.

Nothing. I had this whole fantasy about- Because you're not prepping. I know, but then I had this whole fantasy about in the summer, I'll wear them with a skirt. I don't own any skirts. What skirt are you gonna wear? I don't own any skirts. What skirt would even work with a loafer? I don't know. A midi skirt? A long skirt? What sort of shape skirt? I have no clue but I don't own any skirts so what skirt am I wearing with my imaginary skirts? You do own a skirt. You wore a skirt at this dinner.

You wore a lovely skirt. Oh my god, you're right. That's the only skirt I own. Is it? Yeah. You look very nice in that skirt. You should get more. It's leather. You wouldn't wear it with a loafer. I'm saying you look nice in a skirt. Thank you.

You could wear it with a loafer. I don't know what you wear with loafers. Loafers are... No, I've dropped it. It's gone. Okay, it's over. It's finished. Thank fuck for that. Take your time.

So we do have a meltdown from a listener. Okay. I mean, she's got some hard competition this week. She actually has. She actually has. Okay. We've got my sports injury and I can't have big hair. Yeah.

And yours is the loafers. Yeah. Okay. Here it is. Hi. I recently started listening to 40ish. I love it. Great. And I can't listen when I'm on the train because I laugh too much. A lot of people, a lot of people have said that. That's good. That means we might win a comedy award if people actually laugh. In fact, my friend, Jo said that she was listening to us as she was walking in the park the other day and she was giggling and a woman walked

past her and she said, and the woman sort of stopped her like I said, Oh, something funny. She said, Oh, sorry, you're listening to something. She said, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm listening to this podcast 40. It really makes me laugh. She goes, Oh, I listened to that. Yeah. Yeah. And she said, I didn't want to say that you were my friend because I wanted her to think that I was listening to it. Not because you were my friend, but because I was just listening to it. That's like the coolest thing I've heard all week. I know. Why don't you share this information, Suna? Because I forget this shit. Okay.

Anyway, I thought you'd like to hear my experience slash meltdown of selling my kids' bikes on Facebook marketplace. Yes, we totally do want to hear that. My 11 year old daughter's bike, black with white flowers, needed selling and the brakes weren't working properly. I listed it and someone came to see it. When they looked at it, they said it was smaller than listed. I checked and realised that it was. So I amended the listing and had another person come to look at it. Miraculously, the brakes had mended themselves.

The person bought it. Happy days. Brakes don't mend themselves. I mean I'm no mechanic. But I reckon they don't. You're about as much of a mechanic as Scott from Neighbours was. That is how much of a mechanic you are. Scott from Neighbours. Was he a mechanic? Actually hang on wasn't she the mechanic? Wasn't Kylie the mechanic? Someone in the opening credits used to come out under the car. I think it was Kylie. She was in a boiler suit. Yeah, I think you're right. Kylie was. She was because when she first came on the scene, do you remember? She was in the hat

and then she took the hat down and she was like this gorgeous girl, but you thought she was a boy. That was very forward thinking to have a small, petite pop vixen who was a mechanic. Well, she wasn't a pop vixen then. She hadn't released I should be so lucky. Amazing. About three weeks later I looked in our garage and imagine my astonishment when I saw my daughter's bike in the garage. I realized that I had sold my eight-year-old son's bike, just black, I realized that I had sold my eight year old son's bike just black, no flowers by accident. Hence it being smaller with working breaks. I still

haven't told my son I'm 47. I don't know if I'm perimenopausal yet, but is this a sign? Cheers, Ruth. Ruth, it's a sign. It's, it's, I'm sorry to tell you as someone who is also 47, I'd say, and in denial about being in perimenopause, I'd say it's a sign. Yeah. Would you, would you agree? I would say get your bloods done. And also you owe your son a bike. Yeah. Yeah. We'll take the flowers off and mend the brakes. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll take the flowers off and mend the brakes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So now she's discovered that she's in perimenopause.

That's a hard and expensive way to learn. What was your actual meltdown about the loafer's loafer? I think that like in my mind, I was a person who could rock a loafer, but in fact, I am not. You know what? I think all three are very strong this week. They are, they are, it's really true. Yeah can we all win? I mean why not we make the rules.

Yeah. We're all winners. We're all winners. Or losers depending on which way. With my stupid middle aged injury. I feel more like a loser than a winner. Trust me when I had to hobble back to my car so did I. Ruth is about to go spend 200 quid on a bike so she also feels like a loser.

Okay it's a triple lose. Yeah. Thank you very much that's our show thanks for being in touch please keep all of your feedback coming in your emails coming in we love hearing from you hello at 40ish.co.uk or come hit us up on our socials. I cannot believe I just said that. Please let it go at 40ish.podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Yeah, we're on YouTube. Yeah, we are.

I don't look on YouTube unless I need to like fix something. Actually, we have got more subscribers on YouTube, have we? Yeah. I only look on YouTube if I've got an error code on Fix something. Actually, we have got more subscribers on YouTube. Have we? Yeah. I only look on YouTube if I've got an error code on my Washington Street. Same. What is error code E32? On a mealy...

Yeah. YouTube. That's what YouTube is for, isn't it? To fix appliances. I think so. We'll be back next week. Bye! We'll be back next week. Bye. story. Whether you're navigating the ups and downs of dating sites or just looking for some love inspiration, we've got you covered. Remember you're not alone when it comes to dating, sometimes it's sad, but it's always funny and that's just him on his first dates. So join us every week on Suddenly Single.