40ish - Unfiltered - Crazy Buggy Lady, Swimsuits and the Scent of Regret

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

This week on unfiltered hold onto your decorative cushions, folks! We've got a celebrity dropping (mildly paranoid) truth bombs about the great cushion debate, and let's just say, he’s not holding back. Meanwhile, Nicole fears her co-host may be on the turn after Lauren's sudden transformation into a bra-displaying, crazy dog-buggy lady during their walk. Plus, we're diving deep into the existential crisis of laundry that... just doesn't smell right. Tune in for chaos, cushions and the scent of regret.   We would love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The all-new all-electric Can-Am Pulse motorcycle is your cheat code for the city. Light, agile, and stylish for all you smart commuters. Find your Pulse today. Learn more at CanAmMotorcycles.com. Hello everyone, welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Laura Mishcon. This is the sidekick show, the little side hustle, the little feedback show where we chat about what you guys are saying about 40ish and being 40ish and what we're moaning about, about being middle-aged. We love your midlife meltdowns. We like your comments sometimes. I mean recently I haven't been enjoying the comments and we'll come to that later in the show. I haven't even looked at the comments. We're gonna share your DMs and what's happening on social media and if you want more 40ish in your life and of course

you do because who doesn't? You do. What do you have to do? You have to share the love, you have to share this show with everybody you know. Anyone you think is going to enjoy 40ish please please share the show because we want to grow it as big and as wide as possible. You really do. And then what was the other thing they have to grow it as big and as wide as possible. We really do. And then what was the other thing you can follow and subscribe? Oh, yeah. You can even leave us a review if you're feeling really extra. That would be amazing.

That was so kind. Yeah. You can do that on Apple podcast and you can be a subscriber on Apple. And then you get early access. Yeah. You get ad free. Yeah. Across both shows. Yes. And Self Care Club and bonus content.

So come on, join.. Yeah if you dare. What is your midlife meltdown of the week? Well I'm going to share it with the listeners you already know because you've joined me on this journey. You've been very supportive so thanks in advance. Have I? Yeah I am now a crazy buggy lady and And by crazy buggy lady, I mean I have a buggy for the dog. Why do I have a buggy for the dog? Not because I'm actually nuts, but because he is 16, he has very limited mobility, which means that our walks are approximately five minutes long. And you know, that's not good for a woman in her forties. I need the exercise and he needs the fresh air. Yeah.

So I purchased a dog buggy on Gumtree. I built the fucker myself and I pushed that. You couldn't get it out the door. I couldn't get it out the door frame because it's huge. And now I push that 25 kilogram elderly spaniel around my neighborhood. You do. And you came with me. I did.

With no judgment. It was very nice. And you came with me. I did. No judgment. It was very nice. And I'll just tell you, right, if the roles were reversed, I would rip the living piss out of you. You would have. I would. You would have. I know. I remember when Miley used to come back from her groom, that's my dog. Yeah. And she'd come back with a bow that they put on. You ripped that shit off of her and you're like, you can't dress up a dog. But it was all right when Barker wanted to wear a bandana. Bandanas are cool. It's all right for Barker to be dressed up, but not Miley. Yeah. Why is that Val? Anyway, I felt like a right twat, but I have to say, I was really waiting for people to be like mean or rude or judgy. All I've had is the

love. Like, do you remember that woman in the park? Yeah, I do. She was so sweet and she said, you are such a good dog, mum. She said, you're really loving to do that for your dog. That's really kind. Yeah. Which I thought was really gorgeous. And I was like, thank you, because I feel like a twat. But also, every one you pass, I noticed you were like, he's really old. Yeah, yeah. I'm not mad. I do know that dogs walk. I'm not mad. I'm not mad. Yeah. Yeah. You were telling everybody that we passed that he's really old. I'm not mad. I do know that dogs walk. I'm not mad. I'm not mad. Yeah. You were telling everybody that we passed that he's really old. Basically

you were telling everyone Barker's life story. Poor Barker. Barker doesn't love the buggy. Just to give you a bit of awareness that you might not. He tries to get out. He launched himself out of it. Yes. This weekend. He launched out of it, did a full body somersault and then insisted on walking home. He was like, fuck this buggy. I know I'm 112, but I've got legs woman. Let me use them. Less than we did. Yeah. And then you kind of did it up so he couldn't get out. Yeah. I strapped him in and then he was sort of looking all like forlorn and a bit like, I don't know why I'm in here and I'm not really very comfortable. Yeah.

Yeah. A very nice little toddler, white company duvet in there. You. I pimped his ride. I have. You actually have. It's really bougie. You actually have.

I mean, considering he's blind deafening continent, he doesn't care. No, he also doesn't like it. Miley wasn't having any truck with it, was she? I thought she'd be straight in there. Oh, she's so lazy. I thought she would be in there. So she was like, Oh no. But you know, the funny thing was, as I was pushing this giant contraption through the park, I was feeling really youthful again, because it was taking me back to being a young, a really young mom. But I, I. And you had the total opposite feeling.

I felt like we were with our grandchildren. I know. You were like, you're moving into a new stage. You're giving me grandma vibes. Yeah, it's grandma vibes. I was also, can we just add, wearing a Primark swimsuit and a pair of jeans. That was my look for the day. What the fuck? Hello, a Primark swimsuit and your whole bra was hanging out. In a cool way.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It wasn't in a cool way. You know, the more- And you were like, you are like the last person to have your underwear on display. To show a bra on display, yeah, so true. And like, we walked out and like, you can't wear that. You're like, you are like the last person to have your underwear on display. And like we walked out and like, you can't, you can't wear that.

You're like, why? And I'm like, because your whole bra's on display. So, well, I can't wear it without a bra. Well, how about you don't wear it then? I can't wear it without the bra. Nobody needs to see that. I'm like, but I also don't need to see your bra. Your whole bra.

Not my whole bra, only the back of my bra. Your whole bra. I didn't see the front of the bra. You could see the whole back of the bra and it really ruined the whole swimsuit. Now I'm like adding this up. I'm pushing a dog buggy and wearing a swimsuit down and you can see my bra. I probably did look like a crazy buggy lady. I wasn't helping myself. Now I think about it properly. And why didn't you say anything? Because you were sat in the chair.

I did, I did, I actually did. I think the words, your whole bra is out. You were like, well, I can't not wear a bra. I'm like, but you can't wear that. And you were like, it's fine, it's fine. And then you sort of like zhushed it down a bit as if that was gonna help. And I'm thinking it's still on display,

but let's just go with it. I think I was just feeling like real youthful. I'm pushing a buggy and I'm 28 Cause it was weird out there. It was a weird walk. The whole thing was weird. It was a weird walk. It was a weird walk. Yeah, it was weird. And I was like suddenly exhausted on this walk. You were like, I have to go home. I need to sleep. It's 3.30. I have to go. I can't walk. I'm exhausted. I don't know why I was so tired. Because you were playing paddle for like six in the morning, eight hours of paddle. Oh my God, I literally crashed. And then I did, I went home and went to sleep. Yeah, I know, because I got no WhatsApps for like two and a half hours. Nicole's napping.

When there's zero contact, it's either because you're in the gym talking to your gym friends, on a paddle court or asleep. Yeah, no, that's not true. No? I don't think that's fair or true. I don't think that's fair or true. It is true. It's true. So if there's no contact for me, I'm either on a paddle. Paddle I played for two weeks. You can't use paddle. It's taking up a lot of your time. It is. Yeah. But only since we're

on the hot school holidays. Yeah. Well, let's see what happens when time resumes. Talking of school holidays. Yeah. This is my midlife meltdown. I think we both had a bit of a menopausal moment. I actually didn't think that pushing the buggy was a midlife meltdown, but now I realize it was. Now I'm realizing the outfit, the buggy.

You know what? It wasn't, it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't the buggy. It was the look. It was the outfit. Okay. The outfit was the meltdown. The outfit, it was like you were spiraling. We can cope with the buggy and the very, very elderly dog. Just about. But you know what?

Normal when you're pushing it. But as it turns out, maybe I'm not coping so well with the elderly dog because my outfit will just tell you everything you need to know. Okay, we've got a meltdown. Anyway, yes. What have you done with that swimsuit? Can I just make a suggestion? Just wear it on a beach.

Yeah, that's what I bought it for. Well, I know. Don't wear it in the local park. Yeah get that's what I bought it for. Well, I know. Don't wear it in the local park. It's also a bit too big. Anyway, what happened to you? No, us. Oh, what happened to us? So it's the Easter holidays currently.

And what normally happens is Lauren and I have a schedule that we kind of stick to, but we kind of don't. But what happens is, is Lauren makes up the schedule and then never tells me about it. I just make it up in my head. And just, you do this quite often and you think I just know. Yeah, I do. But I don't know. I know.

Okay. I'm aware. Well, this is, this is the meltdown. Right. So last week, for some reason you were around and I wasn't because I had assumed that you weren't around and you had assumed that I was around. Yes. And then the week before it was the opposite.

I had assumed you were around, you'd assumed I wasn't. So basically we haven't really done very much work together for two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. So my meltdown is this. Yeah. The lack of communication that is going on between two perimenopausal women is not working. We need a new system.

It's called like, try telling each other the days that you're free. Try sharing a schedule. Oh, and it brings me to the meltdown that I was going to bring because this is amazing. Yes. Oh, it's serendipitous this very moment now. Yeah. Because we could do a shared calendar, but we can't because you have still got a fucking paper diary and you can't do that shit on Google. But you know what? I think like when one of my kids moves out, because it's a five person diary,

I can just put you as one of the people and then I can share. And then every day I'll know like Nicole Paddle at three o'clock. I don't play paddle at three o'clock. Can I ask a question? Yeah. Max is 21. Yep. Zach is 19.

Yes. Why do you still need their diary? You don't need their diary. You don't need like what they're doing in a day. So what is it then? Well, like you don't need to drop them anywhere. If they're going to be on holiday or if they're coming home from uni or you know if I'm going out and I need one of them to babysit just so I generally know where they are in the world in my house or not. Not like I don't know when they're going to the dentist. I picked them

up from ballet. Yeah, changed their nappy. Yeah. So the paper diary. It's not working for you. It doesn't work for anybody. What about just the psychic ability of me thinking, you know, when I'm free and me as she main. Should we discuss it this week? Because it's now Monday. So, so what are you free this week? Are you not free this week? Who fucking knows?

So that's why I've now started paddle because just, what else am I going to do? I actually will have to go home and consult the paper diary in the kitchen before I can tell you. You're actually serious on you. Yeah. No, I do have some things on my iPhone calendar. I do try and do it on both now. It's a compromise because Ollie also tells me off for this is not just you. He's like, please, please leave the 1950s. Please, please, please. Like what's happening on Wednesday? I'll be like, I don't know.

I'm not in the kitchen. He'd be like, listen, you've got to start putting shit in your phone diary because that's what normal people do. You live in 2025. And also to have a shared diary because we are business partners and it would be really helpful that when someone says, Oh, can you do a call at one o'clock on Thursday? I don't have to wait for you to get home, get into the kitchen, check the paper diary, check whether Max is coming back from university, check whether Zach is able to babysit, you know, like you could just look at your phone there and then you see, and then we reply back to them and it becomes more efficient. It becomes a more efficient way of working. So your meltdown is that I have a paper diary. That's okay.

What? That's what? It's not a good meltdown? I mean, I don't know what to say. I have two meltdowns, but it all came beautifully together. It's the paper diary and it's the complete lack of communication about when you are not around. Also when you're not around. It's a two way process. Well, now I've only, I've started doing it

because I'm just like, well, fuck it. If you can't beat them, I'm not on there now. Also, now we're both just pretending to be psychic. That's handy. I'm just doing what you're doing, which is completely wrong. I shouldn't be doing that. No, we're both in the wrong. Well, you stop. Oh, give me some feedback. What's going on in the world of our listeners?

Oh, the decorative cushions. I saw that. Everyone's very invested in decorative cushions. George says, Ahri, the saga of bed slash sofa cushions. I realized there is such a thing as too many cushions when there were so many on the snuggle seats you could only perch on the end. Snuggle seat. That sounds nice. You know, like I have in my kitchen, it's bigger than an armchair, but smaller than

a sofa. A love seat is my chair. Miley's chair. Miley's sofa. Yes. So fucked up. But now you've given up. Now I've given up because it's so destroyed.

Not from her, just from life. I can't stand, oh this is interesting, I can't stand cushions on the bed. They have no purpose other than to prevent you getting into bed quickly. Then you put them on the floor which is never good, then you put them back on the bed the following morning bringing whatever dirt or debris they've picked up with them. So then you go to sleep in a dirty floor bed. You might as well sleep on the floor. As you can tell I have an issue about the subject Dominic. Now hold on what's on his floor? Now let me just tell you. I looked at this message I thought Dominic this is a little bit extra my friend and then clicked on Dominic's profile and I realized it's Dominic, the makeup artist, the one who does the big makeup show on BBC three that I've watched for years and years

and years and years. And I understood because I know how for nicety he is about an eyeliner. I don't know who she's talking to. Why he is for nicety about a cushion. So I started a conversation with him. I should actually find it for you. So this is Dominic Skinner we're talking about. He is the judge on glow up, which is the beam. Yeah. You know that show? Yeah. He's so fabulous. Right. So I said to him, I'm just questioning how dirty is your bedroom floor? Dominic. He said, look, floors are naturally filthy. Dogs shit on the pavement, drunks vomit on the pavement, rats piss on the pavement. Then you walk on the pavement. Even if you take your shoes off before walking through the door, not everyone who enters

your home does so. Then you have piss and shit and vomit on your floor and then your cushions pick it up and you put them on your pillows next to your face. And I know it sounds extreme, but this is why I hate cushions on the bed, especially in hotels. I mean, I was like, okay. I'm seeing his point of view. He said, I know I sound like a crazy person, but I don't care. Leave your piss soaked cushions away from my face. I said like, dude, okay, but strangers with filthy street shoes are presumably not walking in your bedroom and there are no strangers or shoes in my bedroom But I do agree with hotels gatta cushions. Like I really really do agree with that You know Is he following us now? Yeah, he is we need to get him on the show. I know I know he Really is very passionate about the decorative cushion issue. Basically who isn't well, he really is very passionate about the decorative cushion issue basically. Who isn't?

Well, he really is. Sandra said, Hi Lauren and Nicole, my friends and I discovered your podcast a few months ago and it's become a firm favourite, often discussed among our circle. Love it. I was listening the other day while out on a run. I'm training for a marathon in May and you guys often keep me company. Oh, love that. Lauren, she says, we went to the same school.

Suddenly halfway through my run while pounding the streets, eventually I found myself reciting a contour line as a line that joins all places above the same height above sea level and laughing out loud. It turns out that mindless repetition really does stick 30 plus years on. But how has it helped you in life? Thanks Sandra. Has it helped you in life? I've never had to discuss contour lines except when I saw the geography teacher at the school

reunion and recited it back to her. Yes but you've never ever used it. It's never been remotely useful in your life. It has a bit. She told me that during a GCSE exam that question came up what is a contour line and one of her students was able to recite it and therefore got full points. students was able to recite it and therefore got full points. So it could be helpful. But anyway, hi Sandra. Oh, that's so funny. I know it is, isn't it? That's so funny. Love that. Hi ladies. This is Sarah. Love both podcasts. Today's episode of Fortish has made me so cross for the awful TikTok comments from the men about the mum being harassed at the school gates. That was just, that was so awful.

Please name and shame and block them. They are not welcome in our lovely, supportive, funny podcast bubble. Oh, we've got a lovely, supportive, funny podcast bubble. I love that. I know. I know. Let's all just stay in the bubble together forever. Chloe says, hi Lauren and Nicole. I just want to say how much I love your podcast. I know. Let's all just stay in the bubble together forever. Chloe says, Hi Lauren and Nicole. I just want to say how much I love your podcast. I don't know how I came across self care club, but I loved it. And then I saw this other one. I'm currently listening

to hemlines and hair dye and I laughed at the age comment as I'm 27 and I love your podcast. Keep doing what you're doing. Chloe. The age comment. Yeah. We were talking about people who are 20 who listened to the show. You said a lot of 26 year olds watched, listened to the show. Yeah. And I said to you, one person has messaged in, so just calm down. And now we've had loads of people in their twenties writing and saying, I'm 26 and I listen to the show. So it's so fantastic. Love it. I love it. I love that younger women and men want to listen to us. I love it when anyone wants to listen to us because fuck knows my children don't listen to this one.

I would like to give you my experience of being a dad at the school gates. You know, we had the dad who wrote in to say, I'm like completely shunned. Yeah. It's had so much feedback that comment. Like no one asked me for a coffee. I feel really excluded and lonely and loads and loads and loads of men replied to say, yup, totally my experience as well. This guy says, I'd like to give you my experience of being a dad at the school gates. I am a happily married dad of two, by the way, rather than being ignored and shunned like your listener. I found myself actually being sniffed by two of my daughter's friend's mothers one morning

because they really like my aftershave. They were both smelling me at the same time and my youngest was furious because she was convinced that I was having an affair with both of them. FYI, it's Le Labo, the Noir 29. I wear that. Do you? I do. Do you get sniffed at the school gates?

Is it appropriate to sniff someone else sniffed at the school gates? Is it appropriate to sniff someone else's husband at the school gates? Would you sniff a husband at the school gates? I have sniffed a husband like if we've gone out for dinner and they're wearing a nice aftershave, if they're a friend of mine. I have done that. Okay. And I often get asked how funny about Le Labo Noir 29. I walked into a dinner party the other night and someone said, Oh, someone smells nice. I'm like, yeah, it's me. And everyone's like, Oh, how do you know it's you? I'm like, because I know it's me. And then everyone was sniffing me. I mean, it was all my cousins and everything. So it reads and it was,

Oh yeah, it's you. I'm not told you. I smell like the hotels in Dubai. That's what it smells like. The hotels in Dubai. So this, this Le Labo Noir 29 is obviously giving. And it wafts. Oh, it wafts. And also, so you're saying they were just drawn to him like moths to a flame. They couldn't help but sniff him. It's an amazing smell. I mean, I wear it all the time and you're like, I never smell you. But is it appropriate, is what I'm asking you, to sniff a dad at the school gates? I think if it's done in an appropriate way, then what's wrong with that?

I mean, I have sniffed other men saying, oh, you smell nice. And then I sniffed them. Okay. But what's wrong with that? I did it to my brother-in-law a few weeks ago. Is that wrong? That's your brother-in-law. Well, okay.

What's the difference? It's a family member. Because I'm not going to flirt with my brother-in-law. It It's a family member. I'm not doing it to flirt with them. I'm just, as we determined today, like my sense of smell is on always on high alert. I just can't see myself dropping off at the school gates and then seeing some dad married dad friend of Josh's and then smelling him. And then being like, Oh, let me underestimate the power of the lab. Well, I clearly, clearly also it doesn't sound like if we went out for dinner, the four of us, you, me, Adam and Ollie and Ollie smelt nice. I said to Ollie, Oh, you smell nice and I smelt him. How would you feel about that? Totally fine. Right. So what's the difference

because he's not a random dad at the school gates. If you... I wouldn't do it to a random. Right! It's a random... No, I wouldn't do it to a random. Okay, it's totally different if it's your friend or family member. That's what I'm saying, I've only done it to my friends. That's fine. It's not like a rando dad.

Rando dad? Like, that's weird. Mmm. You smell great. No, not appropriate. Imagine if a man did that to a woman at school gates. They'd be all hell to pay. Well, if you're wearing a labo, I'm just saying watch out.

Well, you better watch out because you're wearing it. Fandual Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling winning in an exciting live dealer studio exclusively on Fandual Casino where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly.

Okay do you remember your issue with the gym and the wall and then what was it called? Hello wall, wall sit. Hello wall, a wall sit. And that rude man at the gym. He wasn't rude. He wasn't rude. He was just odd. It was just odd. He wasn't rude. He asked if the wall was strong enough to take my weight. Yeah. Well the men on TikTok have not enjoyed that. Why? What did they say? Five of them, five of them, commented all separately. Yeah. Oh, another episode of Things That Never Happened?

It's like, no, it did happen. We didn't make it up. What a weird thing to make up. I'm sick of listening to podcasts where people just make stuff up that never happened. I was like, no, it did happen. Like, it is true. What a weird thing to say. Five, five men said that. Paul said five. Five, five. So more than five thought it. Yeah. Also like, why would I make it up?

Also, like if you were going to make shit up, you'd probably make up something better than that. I mean, it wasn't a particularly good story. That's what I'm saying. Was it? Like you'd make up something better. Well, you would if you were going to make it up. You would because you make something up that is hilarious. We're not here to create stuff. We're here bringing the real dross from our real lives. This isn't some fantasy. I have to tell you, I've never seen him again in the gym. Maybe he was. Maybe he was a fantasy. Maybe he was a class parser. Whatevs. Good riddance.

Paul said, perhaps he was trying to make conversation but clearly not very good at it. However, he is not a structural engineer. You don't know. Sexy Chocolate says, on behalf of all decent men out there, please accept our apologies. Oh sexy chocolate that is very nice thank you I do. Seriously though was it a partition wall or a supporting wall because this can make all the difference? Oh um another man how would I know I don't know another man asks sorry but we do need to verify the wall. Why don't you all just come to my gym and everyone can check it out? How am I supposed to know whether that's a supporting wall or a structural wall? Yeah. How would I know? Was it like the corner of a building or was it like a wall in the middle of the room?

It's not in the middle of the room. It's at the end of the room. I mean, but the other side of it is a studio. Also not a structural wall, a supporting wall. How do you know? Because it's not the end of a building, is it? I mean, were there joists above it? Do you know? Did you look into the ceiling? Should I take a picture of the fucking wall? I think you should.

The lonely father says, bloody hell, how embarrassing for the guy. He sounds like a really intelligent person. I do apologize for his ignorance. Not all men are like that. P.S. I'm a structural engineer. Ask him, can the wall take my weight? Yeah, okay. Can any wall supporting all structural take the weight of a very small person? Maybe he hasn't been back to the gym because he saw it on TikTok. Maybe. Who knows? Who knows? I reckon people are going to

be scared to talk to me at the gym now. They might be. Well, they are because I bring it to the show, don't I? Do you want to share our listener meltdown of the week? Oh, OK. I mean, she has got, or he has got, a lot to come up against with the paper diary, Moan. And the swimsuit bra gate. Swimsuit bra buggy gate. Hello, please can I have them

only? Yes you can. On the weekend I headed to Tesco to grab the necessary bits and pieces needed when you have three kids and a husband who uses a mixing bowl to eat cereal. Love that. Right. I remembered I needed some more fabric softener, riveting I know. Normally I buy Lenore gold orchid, love the detail, or fairy Outdoorable. Oh I don't I don't know fairy adorable I ping pong between them so I don't get nose blind anyway I saw the fairy adorable other brands available bought it fab done home okay did a wash load and went to hang it outside in the Sun what was that smell it wasn't what our washing smells like nope I bought a different rogue fragrance. Since Sunday, I have been sniffing my clothes and repeating it doesn't smell right. This isn't a

smell. My husband thinks I've lost the plot and tells me they all smell the same. They do not. Anyway, do I ditch the offending fabric softener and buy what I usually do or do I suck it up and just deal with the fragrance? Sorry for a weird ramble but here we are Katie. Katie Elizabeth. Katie Elizabeth I don't think that is a weird ramble. I totally understand. You are literally, this is like porn for Lauren. This is like nectar for me. This is like Christmas has come early for Lauren. Laundry is a big deal. The smell of laundry is a big deal. If your laundry smells like someone else's laundry, totally understand it's not your smell. It's not your smell. Well, I have had a bit of a predicament re-laundry. Okay. And I'm pleased that it has come

up. Smells are coming up a lot today. What with the La Labo and the smelling at the school gates. It's a theme. And I kept talking about the smell in here and I made, and I made James spray off to shave round. Yeah. You did. What's going on today? What is going on today? Hang on. You are the smell queen. As you always say, you have a very heightened sense of smell. You smell everything. So how is the smell of laundry not an important smell to you? I didn't say it isn't. Oh, okay. But you said this is my porn thing. Like, Well, I mean, I wouldn't get off on it.

You would. I don't actually. I would, I would like just like figure it out and I wouldn't really discuss it with anyone ever again. But you would, this would be a big topic of conversation. I mean, spoiler alert, I don't actually use fabric softener because it's not great for the clothes. It actually shortens the lifespan of towels. Fact does. How do you soften your towels? Put them in the tumble dryer and they come out soft. They do. But I'm very particular. So do you think we're just being miss sold fabric conditioner? Yeah, I really do. But I'm very particular about my washing powder. That's such a Lauren Mishcon-ism. Yeah, it is. But I'm very particular.

Fabric conditioner, not a thing. No, not a thing. I use Fairy Non Bio capsules and I like the smell and I don't like any other smell. The problem with fairy non-biocapsules is sometimes, sometimes they hit it like by the door and then as you're pulling all the clothes out, it leaves a whole fucking residue on your clothes and that fucks me off. Well. Because then it dries and it goes crispy and then you have to go back in the wash again. That's because you haven't put it right at the back. put it at the back before you put the load in, which is how to do laundry correctly. Sorry, but it is Stacy Solomon taught me that and she's not wrong when it comes to laundry. Can I just tell you, I'm a 48 year old, very capable woman. Well, you're not, if you've got laundry capsules, plastics smearing all over your clothes.

I hate that. Hate it. Hate it when you take out like a jumper and it's like stuck to the... Thank you. Yeah. Hold on. But you were othering me a minute ago about this. I learned the hard way. Yeah. Okay. I've been in the trenches. I suffered. Well, you could have brought that earlier because when you said it about five minutes ago about how I don't know how to do laundry properly and only Stacey Solomon's has taught you that and you got to put it in the drum first. You left that bit out that this has happened to you and you've been in the trenches and you're with us.

You othered all of us. Sorry. Sorry for that. All of us. I had to go through the pain before I learned. Her question is, should she been off the rest of the bottom of the fabric? Yes. Life is too fucking short to be using fabric conditioner that you don't want to be using. Her question is, should she bin off the rest of the bottle of fabric? Yes, yes, yes. Listen, listen. Life is too fucking short to be using fabric conditioner that you don't want to be using.

It's like reading a crap book. Just stop reading the book. I know Cosi lives and like all that, but maybe are you allowed to donate like an opened bottle of fabric softener to the food bank? No. You're not. It has to be sealed and new and everything else. I don't know.

I don't work for the food bank. I don't like to like chuck shit away, but also don't chuck it away. Just leave it as reserves because occasionally. Yeah. I think for the sake of three quid, like have the clothes that smell like your clothes. And, and I think this is a totally legit problem. And I think her husband's in the wrong because there's nothing weird with them clothes that smell like the wrong clothes. This could go on. I feel like we're losing the listeners at this point. Like, let's just maybe asleep. They may be in a coma. They'd be like, you know, whoever

was, what was her name? Who was training for the marathon? Oh, Sandra. Sandra. Yeah. Sandra will be like, I used to really like that. I'm actually gonna have to stop training for the marathon. I can't listen to this. I'm on mile 22 and I'm falling asleep. Yeah. I'm not going to have to stop trying for the marathon. I can't listen to this shit. I'm on mile 22 and I'm falling asleep. Yeah. I can't be listening about the fairy out doorable any longer. Katie Elizabeth, get rid of it. Go back to the fairy. Very adorable. Sandra's still running praying for us to move on. Imagine what the men who are upset about the supporting wall have got to say about this supporting wall. Hopefully they'll all go away now because we'll have bored them to tears. Oh god you better edit this shit down. Let's just, let's just, let's just, I'm the winner.

Let's just go, let's just finish the show and I- You're the winner? Yeah. I think so. You're the winner moaning about me? Yeah. Wow. Or maybe your moment with the swimsuit wasn't amazing. Maybe you're the winner. What's great is it is taking me like a full week to realize that I was in a meltdown. Without actually melting down. Without actually knowing. Having no self-awareness.

None whatsoever. I did try to tell you. You were a little bit too subtle there. I said your whole bra is hanging out. I don't know how much more direct I could be. What was I supposed to say? Put a normal top on, why are you wearing a swimsuit to the park you weirdo? Well I wouldn't have called you a weirdo because that's not kind but I mean I was a bit like no because I'd seen you on Zoom earlier that day because we did an interview and you were very proud of the swimsuit and you actually opened the Zoom with, look at my swimsuit. Don't you just love it?

I'm wearing it as a top. And I thought then at that moment, something's a bit off. Whereas I just would have said to you, you know, that buggy with the dog and it makes you look mad enough, don't match it with a mad outfit. I just would have said to you, you know, that buggy with the dog in it makes you look mad enough. Don't match it with a mad outfit. I just would have said that to you. I wouldn't really have considered your feelings. Like I did with the loafers. Yeah. Be less considerate. So are you the winner? I don't mind if I win or not. I think you actually won it by that slight. I don't think I'm win or not. I think you're the, I think, I think you've actually won it by that slight.

I don't think I'm proud of that, but that's how it is. That's our show. We're just going to wrap this up because it's going to go on and on and Paul Sandra needs proper content to run her marathons with. We will be back next week. Yeah. No, we're going to be back on Thursday. Oh yeah, this Thursday.

Yeah. We come back every Tuesday and Thursday. This is Tuesday. Yeah, this is Tuesday. Yeah. We come back every Tuesday and Thursday. This is Tuesday. Yeah, this is Tuesday. Yeah, we've recorded a lot of content today so I think we need some lunch. So excuse us, we need some calories. Yeah, we'll be back. At some point we'll be back. Welcome to Suddenly Single, the podcast where we dive deep into the wild world of love, romance and everything dating.

That's right, I'm Siobhan and alongside Tim each week we're joined by celebrity guests who share their unique dating story. Whether you're navigating the ups and downs of dating sites or just looking for some love inspiration we've got you covered. Remember you're not alone when it comes to dating, sometimes it's sad, but it's always funny and that's just him on his first dates. So join us every week on Suddenly Single.