40ish - Unfiltered - Cuddles, Control Freaks & Competitive Chat

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

Today on unfiltered, Lauren is riding so high on the puppy cuddling oxytocin she can’t even muster up a midlife moan. Meanwhile, Nicole is... not quite as chipper. A listener poses the ultimate dilemma: who would make the better lunch date—Lauren or Nicole? Surely that’s like choosing between Ant or Dec? The competition is on as the ladies argue their case for who brings the most razzle dazzle to a social gathering. Plus, we hear from a listener who’s had enough of a bossy class WhatsApp mum—because haven’t we all been there?  To buy tickets to our live show click here -  https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Get 10% off Daily30+ today. Go to zoe.com/daily30 and use promo code 40ISH10 We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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it actually tastes great, unlike most supplements. And we use it to top it off our lunches. We put it on salads, scrambled eggs, on a bowl of yogurt and berries. And my favorite thing is to sprinkle it on poached eggs and avocado toast. Basically, we're obsessed with it, and we use it on everything that we can. Ready to make Daily 30 your new healthy habit? Well, head over to zoe.com forward slash Daily 30 to start this week.

All 40ish listeners will get 10% off plus you'll get a free Zoe tin and magnetic scoop with your order. Go to zoe.com forward slash daily 30 and use promo code 40ish10. That's zoe.com forward slash daily 30 and use promo code 40ish10. This episode is sponsored by Zoey. Hello everybody, welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Laura Mishcon. This is the Sidekick Show where we dish the feedback from 40ish. Every Tuesday we dive into your comments, your emails, your DMs and all the social media buzz about the latest 40ish dilemmas. And if you want more 40ish in your life, and of course you do because everyone does, then hit follow. And don't forget that we have got an exclusive subscription on Apple podcast where you can get early access and ad free shows across 40ish and Self Care Club. Wow lucky you. Wow. Go for it.

What's going on? What's your midlife moan of the week? I don't have any moans. I don't have any moans. I'm just so happy for my puppy brother. I have no moan. I'm happy every day. Oli keeps saying to me, you're so happy. He says it with a slight, like he loves it. He's like, you're so happy and I, and I, and it's wonderful but you're really happy. You're really happy, aren't you? I'm like, I'm so happy. I think what he's saying is like, you have no time for anyone else in this household anymore. Do you know I exist? And he's like, I know you love the puppy more than me. Like, well, temporarily, maybe.

It's very easy to love puppies more than more than anything. More than anything. I tell Miley that every day. I whisper sweet nothings into her ear. I mean, I do too. I like literally rocking her like a baby this morning, whispering, you're the most beautiful girl. I love you so much. And I could see Ollie looking at me like, this is lovely, but also hello. So I, last night, once she was asleep, I offered to watch a film with him and sit with him and spend time with him and you know, remember to be away. What film did you watch? We actually watched Conclave.

Oh, is it good? More enjoyable than I thought, but I did fall asleep because I've been up in the night. So I still don't know who is made pope. And it was my first thought this morning. Who was made pope? So we're going to have to finish it tonight. I haven't heard of it. Don't know anything about it. It was nominated for all the Oscars. It's Stanley Tucci.

Oh, you love Stanley Tucci. I love a bit of the tuch. Although he's not that sexy in a cassock. You know what I mean? It's not a look for me. He's not sexy. Oh no, he is. It is a vibe. When he's in like a really nicely pressed shirt and he's in Italy. I like Stanley Tucci. When he's in like a really nicely pressed shirt and he's in Italy. I like Stanley Tucci. And he's talking about cocktails and pasta and cooking and he's like, he's so sophisticated and elegant. Would you pick Stanley Tucci over John Hamm? No.

Okay. Just checking. No. Yeah. But I would. Well, you would to have dinner with. I would love an elegant evening evening maybe in a restaurant in Paris or Milan anyway anyway so you don't have a midlife no I'm so I am so happy but that's not how this show works I'm sorry I can't add to the midlife chaos because I'm just loving everything this week

I'm just I'm full of love and joy. I've got so much of it to share. That is lovely. I am the absolute opposite. I know you are a grumpy Glenda. I really am. I really am. I'm sorry. I wish I could fix it for you. Then I said to my daughter last night went out for dinner and I said to her she hadn't spoke. This is my younger daughter. She hasn't spoken to me all day. She didn't want to speak to me all day. And then I said to my daughter last night, went out for dinner and I said to her, she hadn't spoke. This is my younger daughter. She hadn't spoke to me all day. And she didn't want to speak to me all day. And then I said to her at the dinner, I was asking her questions and what did we think of this? And what about this? And what about that? And she was just like giving me the glare, like just the 14 year old stare of just, just stop talking

to me. And I said, but she wasn't saying like, go into a hole and die. I hate you. You're so embarrassing with the look. It's the smearing. She has perfected the smearing. Anyway, she says to me, I said, you know, I am really 40th on Thursday you were saying how you were very very boring. You were so boring. Oh my god. I am so boring. Even my 14 year old thinks I'm boring. She's meant to think I'm boring. Philip asked a question to us. Who's Philip? He's a man on TikTok or Instagram. So you

know when we have allegedly, well, he looks like a man. He presents like a man. He says as a man. So I'm assuming he's a man. Remember when we had the question the other week about the over familiar friend who came over, ate the whole punnet of raspberries and like was just asking for toilet rolls and like was just asking for toilet rolls and like asking her friend to buy garden furniture. So Philip said, as a strictly platonic lunch date, who do you think would be more fun between you two lovelies? He's asking us. I think he's asking one of us on a lunch date. And then I was thinking, well, you said publicly you're so boring. So does that mean the answer is me? Or do you think you've still

got it in you to be a fun lunch date for Philip or indeed anyone? How many times you've been to lunch with me? More than I could count on two hands, five hands, many hands. But more than you can count? More than I can count because I can count a lot. You've been to lunch with me many, many times. Would you say I was a boring lunch date? No, I certainly wouldn't. Would you say you're a boring lunch date? That's more the point. Your self identifying is boring. Yeah. That's a good point. I would

say, no, you're right. Yeah. I like the line of questioning sort of it's making it's, it's a bit jarring, but I'm going to go with it. Yeah. I would say that being in hairdressing for 30 years, you get very used to kind of slapping on your hairdressing smile and being like Michael Barrymore as we've talked about on the show. Fun Bobby, whatever it is. The Ant and Deck of lunch. So I could definitely go on a lunch date and I would be perfectly entertaining. I mean, maybe not today.

Yeah, I don't think I could pull it today. Not today. And also I think if I went on a lunch date with you'd have to take the puppy. Well, I just all I would do was show him photos of the puppy. That's boring. He'd be like, Oh, sorry. I mean, she is a beauty. Yeah. But that would be boring on a lunch date. Well, I actually replied to Philip and I said to Philip, well, we come as a package deal. So if you want to have lunch, you have lunch with both of us. And also we're much more fun together than we are apart. So you'd have a much better lunch with both of us than you would individually. That's very sweet. What did Philip say? Did he ghost you? He's like, all right, it was

only rhetorical like back off woman. I was like, basically Philip, it's a buy one, get one free situation. So I don't know. Let's see if he offers to take us over. You see, he hasn't actually replied. Well, it was only recently this morning. It was only this morning. So, you know, give him a chance.

OK. You down for a platonic lunch with it? Not really. I've got to be honest. Well, some strange on TikTok, you know, I'm going to go with no. And then I'm going to go home and say to Adam, oh, funny story. Someone asked us for lunch. Some strange man that we've never met called Philip and he'll be like, is that my dad? Because that's his dad's name. I'll be like, no, he's not asked us for lunch. He's not a strange man. But some stranger, strange stranger has asked us to go to lunch.

To clarify, he hasn't actually asked us for lunch. He just asked as a strictly platonic lunch date, who do you think would be more fun? He hasn't actually offered the lunch date. I've just made that up. I'm just assuming. I think he just wants to know who's more fun. That's his question. But the thing is, he should make up his own mind. I agree. Good point. Like, you know what, Philip? You decide. I've got a lot to do. Okay. I've got two teenagers. I've got a dog. I've got a very busy household. It's half term. Like there is a lot going on. You know, I have a busy, busy life. I'm out all week. Like I don't have time to be figuring out for you who you would prefer to go on a platonic lunch date with.

Just haven't. Just haven't. That feels like too much. Okay. Okay. I think Philip, right now, it'll be me with the dog photos. How is Ollie going to feel about you going on this lunch date with Philip? Just to clarify again, he hasn't actually asked us for lunch. He just wants to know who would be more fun if we went out for lunch. Who cares? You know what? Today it's you. It's not me because I only want to be at home with the puppy. So I don't want to go out for lunch with anyone. I just want to do my work to be at home with the puppy. So I don't want to go out for lunch with anyone. I just want to do my work, go straight home to the baby.

And all I want to do is nap. In my own stupor. So you know what, Phillip? Phillip, really sorry, but we are standing you up. You know what, Phillip? Phillip, have lunch with your own wife. How are we married? He is married. How do we married? He is married.

How do you know? Because he's told us before. He's very happily married. He's told us. Who is he? I don't understand. Suddenly you've got some weird relationship with Philip. Who is he?

I have no relationship with Philip. He just often replies to our TikToks. That's all. And he said, I'm very happily married. But then why is he asking us for a lunch date? He is. He is. I don't even know if he lives in his country. So lunch might not even be on the table. He might be some like really weird catfish guy. He's not. He looks really normal. But he could be using like a stock image you don't know. He hasn't actually asked us that for lunch. So you don't have to worry about it. It's

going to be fine. Okay. And he won't be asking us again. That's for sure. I wonder if he listens to the show. I don't know. I'll tell you who the listeners do want to come back on the show and who they do want to hear again. Jackie. Jackie. Do they? Yeah.

What did they say about Jackie? Christine said, more Jackie, please. I agree. At fab said, Hello Jackie. Chris said Jackie was a baddie 50 years ago. 50 years ago. Well, yeah, she was 20. She was 22. She probably was a baddie. I reckon, excuse me, she's still a baddie. Yeah, she's still a baddie. Who said that? Who said that? Chris. Chris. Oh my God.

Sorry, Chris. Chris, tell you what, she's still a baddie. How very dare you. 50 years ago. Yeah. Come on. You just had to be in your 20s to be a baddie. I think he's in his 20s. Well, let me tell you something, Chris. Let me tell you something. Yeah. Right. Life does carry

on after 22. Doesn't it? Yeah. Listen, on today, it's not the best example of life carrying. It is because you can afford puppies. So it's fucking great. Yeah, you can afford puppies. Yeah, it's great. It's great. No Limits said, love her, love Jackie. We love Jackie. CEO of Winging It, great name, says, wow, copy and paste plus blonde. As in me and my mom look exactly the same except she's the blonde version.

Yes. Yes. Correct. They are exactly the same and also talking to her is like talking to Lauren. Yeah. Although your mom talks a lot more than you do. Really? And you talk a lot. Yeah. She's very chatty your mom. She is. In a really good way. Both my parents are very chatty. They are. They are chatty. You look chatty. She chatted all the way down to the studio. She chatted all the way back. She loves her chat. Yeah. My dad also loves her chat. Yeah. How do they ever have time to make children? They're so busy chatting all the time. Well, they did. They did. Raylan said, we all need her regime. She looks 50. All the love for Jackie. All the love for Jackie. Nice. She was great. She loved coming on this show. She keeps saying, by the way, if you

ever want me to come on again, I was like, it's fine, mom. I really enjoyed myself. I was like, I know. If you're ever looking for guests again, I'll come on again. Okay. Okay, mom. We've lost some lighting in here. What do you think is going on? I don't know. It's an electrical breakdown. Everything all right, James. The lights just went off. Behind us. Strip lights. Is that what they're called? Also the lights in the kitchen aren't working either. I don't know if it's on the same fuse box, but just FYI. Oh, James. I pissed James off, didn't I? You did. Last week. Because he bought us a gift and I wasn't grateful for it. I brought in our old shitty self-care club mugs because I was fed up drinking from the football podcast mugs while we record our show. I was fed up with it. So I brought in

our shitty old mugs with our old logo on from self-care club that had been too much dishwashed to death and James was like what the fuck are those? See I didn't do the voice James. You did. I did a normal voice. You did at the end. Oh my god I love him. I love him. Let me tell you something that was a very clever power move. It was well done It was beautiful. Thank you beautiful beautiful timing. Oh, that is so sweet. Anyway, so James I thought what the fuck are these so there are mugs and then he He sent us a photo that he'd made us new mugs. Oh

They're so lovely on me This with our new logo, they're so nice. Of our other show. So I said, 40, I said cute, 40-ish, question mark, and he got annoyed. And I said, love you, James. He actually used some profanities at me this morning as I walked in, didn't he?

I think he was hurt. Oh, you hurt, James, I'm sorry. Do you need a hug? I think his feelings were hurt. Do you need a cuddle? I don't get hurt very often, but it's stung in his feelings were hurt. Do you need a cuddle? I don't think I've heard very often but it stung a little bit. Oh James! Give him a cuddle. When I tell you I was considering genuinely making a video with the golf club and you had a big cut.

No! I love the mug! A mental, like, you know that, it's not a surprise. Oh James. Listen, you and me together is a bad mix. I've got cuddles enough for both of you today. I have. I'm giving them out for free. Nicole can't stand cuddly Lauren. It's freaking her out so much.

She's like, where is that acerbic bitch that I've known for five years and loved and trust? Who is this woman? Who's offering hugs? I don't like it. I don't trust it. It's weird. It's like you're like a character from Toy Story. We had a message this morning from Louise. Yeah. What did she say? Oh my God. She says I just went into my local surgery, which is in the same area as Nicole and literally had to, and literally had to shout smear test three times and my date of birth, which again, I don't mind my age, well, a little bit of a lie. I'm still 26 in my head and it reminded me of your podcast. And I started laughing as it was so true to what you had both said about booking appointments. I had my diary

and pen at the ready old school and to my surprise they said you can come today. I mean, wow, she can't be in. We must be in different surgeries. That's for sure. I said sorry today and they said, yes, come back today for your smear test. Your podcast got me through that moment. Thank you, Louise. Love that Louise. Thank you, Louise. Love that Louise. Thank you Louise. That's absolutely brilliant. So if it's happening to us and it's happening to Louise, it must be happening everywhere. I guess so. Yeah. Also, like who wants it put upon them on that same day?

Well you just want to get it done and dusted, don't you? I know, but also like want a little bit of notice. I don't. I would like just to get it done over finished three years. Thank you very much. We're at the end of them now. Aren't we? How many people got left? Four. Four more. Yeah. Only four more. 64. Is that right? Maybe four or five more. Why 64? I don't know. Maybe it's because of the Beatles song. Maybe they just chose that. Yeah. Maybe the NHS just plucked it out the sky. Who knows? Why 64? Why not 65? It's just much more of a round number. Yeah. What happens between 60 and 64? I don't, I don't know. Anyone knows the answer to that? Please message in Yeah right. Have we got a listener meltdown? Yeah we have.

Hi ladies here is a little moan. Am I being unreasonable? She says. But this message from a mum in my child's class pissed me off so much. Then she sent a screenshot of this WhatsApp message and then she redacted some of the names in it which I thought was good because I wouldn't know how to do that. Hi everyone. So this is the message that she got sent. Hi everyone, hope that you had a good weekend. The end of year is approaching us soon and we need to think of a year of end gift for Mrs X, Mrs X and Mrs X. I've arranged the Christmas gift so if anyone's willing to take on the end of year gift it will be greatly appreciated. If anyone has any ideas, please mention it. There's not much time left to gather money and organize the gift." Then she goes on to say, this mum is a bit of a control freak. So that probably

is screamed of control. Yep. That probably influenced my irritation. But I feel that if you don't want to organize the gift, don't mention it. And if no one has started rallying the joint gift, either just do a personal gift yourself or take the lead and organize it. It's not her responsibility to remind or lecture other adults about something like this. We all know the end of year is approaching and that gifts need to be given. We don't need to do a joint gift and many parents do a personal gift anyway, so just chill the fuck out and let it be. M.A. Those are her initials. I mean, she does seem very irritated by this. I wouldn't be irritated by that because I feel like it happened every year of primary school for all three children. Yeah, but what she's saying is that she's not actually doing it because she's not offering

to do the gift because she's done the Christmas. She's saying someone needs to do this. So I get why she's irritated. It's like, well, either do it or shut up either or. And I do prefer a joint gift because I would always forget that shit. And also it's so easy nowadays. There's like a link and you just put money in from this link. It's just brilliant. I had assumed maybe wrongly that this person sending the WhatsApp to her was the class rep and therefore it was their responsibility to do the gift. She's saying she's being controlling. She's not taking it on to say, oh, I'll sort it out, you know, transfer me the money. She's saying I'm telling you that the end of year is approaching and somebody needs to organize the end of year gift. I'm not

doing it because I did the Christmas one so chop chop everybody. I think that this school needs class reps because then that's their job is to do the presents and I know that because I've been class rep many a time and at some point I was class rep for two children at the same time. That's just a thankless task isn't it? I'll tell you the worst one of all because I was in charge of all the gifts and it was the days before you did like a nice, that linky thing and I decided rather than do a voucher because it felt a little anonymous I would actually buy gifts. So I bought gifts for the teacher and for the teaching assistants. And the teacher, one of the teaching assistants went to one

of the mothers and said, have I done something wrong? Because I don't understand why I didn't get a voucher. Basically complained about the gift. You know, when you said about the gift, I'm thinking you know that's that's an error. It's an error. What about just thanks so much to all the parents for spending money and buying me a nice gift. But also if you get them a voucher they can get what they want. I just I really didn't like that attitude. I thought it was really ungracious. It is ungracious but I do also understand why they would prefer a voucher. Wow. I wouldn't, if I was a teacher, I would be so grateful that, you know, they did that at all. I think that's not, it wasn't very nice, but yeah, I get it. Okay. Now you're telling me, now I understand this story more. So I understand why she's like, hello, chop chop, anybody there

Bula. She's a bit like that. Like, come on, someone deal with it. Yeah, it's annoying. And obviously, she's probably that kind of person. But she obviously gets under this woman's skin anyway. And that kind of person would get under my skin. And also like, seriously, like I'll either do my own thing or just leave it alone. Do you know what I really appreciated? And it took until the third child and you know, many different schools. But when the third child was at primary school, the class rep was like, okay, if anyone wishes to donate for the Christmas and the end of year present, here's the bank account, put it in. And you were like, oh my God, brilliant idea. It's

just done. Yeah. One go. Yeah. Put the money in. But she's like, but by the way, if anyone wants to do their own individual presence No pressure like whatever you want to do But I'm just telling you I'm gonna do one collection and I'm gonna do it this week and here's the bank account details I think that we did the same Dreaming how sensible yeah Done. Yeah, and also thank you so much for being the class rep and for sorting all that. I am so grateful to class reps Yeah, I can't even I there aren't enough out. I am so grateful to class reps. I can't even,

there aren't enough words about how grateful I am to class reps. All of you class reps out there, go you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your service. Thank you. Thank you. In the meantime, I mean, I can't even remember what my meltdown was. Oh, about my daughter telling me to leave it. Yeah. Please stop trying. I don't have a meltdown because I'm just happy and this woman is with the class rep. So I don't mind anyone. Well, you have to pick Mrs. Lovebug. You have to pick. You seem more annoyed than this woman. This woman seems irritated, but it's very specific. Your irritation is more of sort of a general grumble. That's why I think she should win. Oh, do you? Yeah. Why? Well, because it's very specific and I get it. And those people, they can really get under your skin

and it is very, very irritating. And I just feel like she should win. Okay you can win. M.A. M.A. you are the winner. Congratulations you are our midlifer. What is it our moaning midlifer. You win a mug. No you don't win a mug because this is mine and there's only one and also James and also James is upset is precious about the mugs. We love the mugs. Love you James. We love the mugs James. We love you James. We love Teddy. We love everyone. Can I go home now? Back to your puppy. Back to my puppy and my beautiful love nest. Thanks. You can come with if you want. Thanks I might. Be careful. We'll be back on Thursday with a brand new episode. Keep your emails coming in hello at 40ish.co.uk and we'll be back then. Bye.