40ish - Unfiltered- Dropped Pins, Disappointed friends and Desperation

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

On today's unfiltered: Nicole is in need of directions - literally and Lauren’s attempt to rescue her using a dropped pin goes just about as well as you’d expect. Spoiler: it makes everything worse, mostly because she is too busy being chatted up by a stranger to assist. Elsewhere, Lauren is in full-on meltdown mode after trying (and, let’s be honest, failing) to install an automated watering system—aka a classic Blue Job gone rogue. Plus, we’ve got a listener’s meltdown as she involves herself in Lauren’s puppy raising. (Brave). It's emotional, it’s relatable, and it may or may not involve us Googling “how to use a dropped pin”  It’s another week of midlife mayhem, passive panic, and questionable decision-making.  To buy tickets to our live show click here -  https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Get 10% off Daily30+ today. Go to zoe.com/daily30 and use promo code 40ISH10 We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lauren, I know we're middle-aged, but have you heard about the fibre maxing trend? No, obviously not. But I do know that mid-lifers need fibre. Well, everyone's talking about it at the moment because it's flipping the script on food hacks. Instead of focusing on what to cut out, it's about what to add in. More plant, more texture, more variety. Well, that's what you get with today's sponsor, Daily 30 by Zoe. Every scoop of Daily 30 has five grams of fibre from over 30 plants. It's created by Zoe's scientists to help you get more fiber and plant diversity.

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Plus you'll get a free bright yellow Zoe tin and a magnetic scoop. That's 40ish10 at zoe.com forward slash daily 30. Hello everybody welcome to 40ish Unfiltered I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Laura Mishcon. It is Tuesday so it means we're dishing the feedback from Thursday's main show. Your comments, your emails, your DMs, your LinkedIn. No one talks about this show on LinkedIn. Well we finished the last show talking about LinkedIn and I threatened to talk about it on another show but... There's nothing to say. Unless you want to tell me about your promotion and your sideways move to another branch of your company. I just, I won't care.

People are looking for a job. Not everybody loves their job and they move around and it's, you know, it's the business. Is it a job hunting? I thought it was just like a networking place. Yeah, but there's a big recruitment element to it. Huge. How do you know that? What?

Were you looking for another job on LinkedIn? Because you know I'm not on there. Are you like, hi, I'm a podcaster, I'm sick of my podcast partner, she's a fucking nightmare. And also she's like dumped me for her puppy, so can you like... She has dumped me for her puppy and her million holidays that she's about to go on. Oh my million. Yeah.

So can you just find me another job? Yeah. Is that what you're doing? Not another job, just another partner because someone who is actually available to work would be really helpful. Thanks. Wow. She's got to have good pants.

Cruel. That's cool. Well, good luck finding that on LinkedIn. And she's got to play paddle. Oh, she's got to play paddle? Yeah, I might be doing a paddle podcast. You don't know. Anyway, if you want more Thoughtyish in your life listeners, and of course you do because

who doesn't, then please hit that follow button and we invite you to become a subscriber exclusively on Apple Podcasts. All you have to do is go over to Apple Podcasts, you will see our subscription and when you subscribe you get early access and you get ad free across both this show and Self Care Club. You lucky fuckers. You lucky fuckers and then you don't have to be interrupted every five seconds with adverts of LinkedIn. No, I don't think we do LinkedIn adverts do we? I don't know. You don't know what adverts we have on our show. Don't pretend, don't even pretend you do. There was one for like Lululemon leggings and I thought they must. I think it's the only advert you've ever heard. That's your algorithm. No, it's not my algorithm. It's it's that's not it. I mean, I don't wear. We're not talking about

how podcast advertising works on here now. No, we're not. Because the thing is you can get you don't have to have any. That's right. If you come over to our subscription, you have to listen to and we would love you to be part of the conversation. We want to hear from you, your emails, your messages, your rants, your midlife meltdowns, we want to hear all of it. You can email us hello at 40ish.co.uk. That's the one. So please come be part of the conversation. What's your midlife meltdown? Oh it's so annoying, so annoying. I had to do a blue job over the weekend because Odie's away. I don't like how you define the blue and pink jobs.

I know you don't but let me live in my 1950s paradise at home. Is it a paradise? Is it a paradise? I call it a paradise because that makes it easier to deal with the fact that I'm living in the 50s. But you don't have to live, you're choosing to live in the 50s. Okay but you don't have to live, you're choosing to live in the 50s. I set it up that way. We're 28 years in. It's too late to change the dinosaurs now. He could empty the dishwasher. He does empty the dishwasher. Okay. And he does other blue jobs but he wasn't here so I had to do the blue job and the blue job was a watering system. So we had this thing set up last summer where like the pike runs around

the garden and you just turn the garden tap on. It's called irrigation. That's the one. You just turn the tap on, set the timer in it. Anyway, the tap was leaking. The whole thing broke. They always leak. They always leak. So I thought, you know what? I'm an intelligent modern woman. I can deal with this shit myself. One minute she's living in the fifties, the next minute she's an intelligent modern woman. When I have to be.

So I ordered a new thing, a new system. I even got the right batteries, Nicole, and I did have to order the correct batteries. Did. Fitted them. Then set up the whole thing. What time do you want it to go on for? How long do you want it to water for? What time is it now? I did the whole thing.

It took me three minutes. It was so easy. Then I have to screw this thing onto the tap. Two days. Two days. What was? Trying to find the correct hose attachment. If there are any men listening to this show, I mean, honestly, hose attachments, are you born with an innate understanding of the correct hose attachment? Because it, it floored me. I had to stop on day one. Day two, I thought, come on, you've had a night's sleep, try again. I could not do this. I could not do this. It sent me round the twist everything leaked nothing fitted so you know what I'm doing now using a watering can had this whole thing fitted and I can't use it I'm so not surprised that you're using a watering can no one is surprised that you're using a watering can. No one is surprised that you're using a watering

can. I had to. Also it's raining today so. Good thank God it saves me a whole job. It's like a whole thing walking around the garden like watering everything every day and it's been hot. Oh God it honestly it sent me doodly. God, honestly, it sent me do sorry. Can I just say, I mean, there was no way that you were going to get this working. I was so nearly there. But you didn't. I was so nearly there. I did get it fitted, but it leaked.

It leaked. Then I got plump. I mean, I went on YouTube, I went on chat GPT, I even, and this will impress you more than anything you've ever heard come out of my mouth, took a photo, uploaded the photo into chat GPT and then it told me what to do. Step by step I used plumbers tape, excuse me, have you ever used plumbers tape? Bet you haven't, you've used tit tape but I bet you've never used plumbers tape. I've used tit tape. Right, I've never used tit tape but I used plumbers tape, I put in the rubber sit I did every single thing I was told to do still fucking leaked given up waiting for Ali to come home then he'll fix it in three minutes and I'll be really

annoyed and also really happy that he does blue jobs. It's a double-edged sword you know what I mean? Full circle moment yeah full circle moment yeah that's my meltdown it did send me into meltdown right and it was hot. Let me tell you my meltdown please which is to do with you. Oh no what have I done now? It's not what you've done. It's what you haven't done. Oh God. It's just endless. I mean I am so pleased that you just said that you use chat GPT because that gives me some hope that you are finally moving into the modern age. I tried to use Google, it didn't help me, so I thought I've got to try this chat GPT thing.

So I did. I was pleased. I am pleased. But you know, I was driving here, wasn't I? And you got here before me and there's very limited parking. And I tried to, it doesn't matter anyway, there's very limited parking. You took the space tried to, it doesn't matter. Anyway, there's very limited parking. You took the space. We're not in our normal studio, we should say.

We should, should we? Yeah, that would help. We are not in our normal studio, everybody. Yeah. So the parking is different. Yeah, the parking is different. No one cares where we are. I'm just saying, I thought it would be like,

what's wrong with her? She drives there every week, so why can't she figure out where to park? We don't, we walk there. Oh yeah, we walk there, yeah. Anyway. No one is thinking about how we get to the studio. No one gives a fuck. No one gives a fuck how we get to the studio. They've got their own

shit to worry about. They're not worrying about our commute. Just FYI. Anyway. we should say don't forget to say we should say that we're not in a normal studio. We should say. OK. So you took the parking space. So then I called you because I knew you were in reception and I said, can you ask them where I could park? They said, I'll park on the they've got like a courtyard. But I didn't know how to get into the court. It's complicated. Very complicated. I didn't know how to get there. So you said, Oh, just go to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I just I just need someone else on the phone like Lauren is never gonna Is never gonna sort this out. Anyway, so then you start I'm in my car Yeah, you start reading a map to me telling me so I'm a showing you know You just need this which this me you just need to drive out of there and then you need to look for the yellow door

And it's opposite. There's a big M M I'm like we're in the middle of King's Cross right I mean it's like finding a needle in a haystack in the middle of King's Cross you told me to go the wrong way did I you said toilet doesn't matter anyway then you said I know what I'm gonna do you were so sweet you were trying to be so helpful it was because I hate being lost here's my meltdown yeah I wasn't lost I wasn't lost anyway I was lost but hate being lost. Here's my meltdown. Yeah. I wasn't lost. I wasn't lost. No, you weren't lost but you couldn't find us. I didn't know how to get to the courtyard. Yeah. So you said, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to send you a pin of my location.

Now, bearing in mind about the hose and Lauren's ability with tech and the, you know, she did go on chat GPT, so there is some hope. And the minute you said, I'm going to send you a pin, I just thought, never going to find it. I'm never going to find it. But you were so keen. So keen. You said, in fact, I'm going to walk to the. I'm never going to find it. But you were so keen, so keen. You said, in fact, I'm going to walk to the front of the gate. So it pins my exact location. So I'm waiting in the car. I'm buying some traffic lights. I'm waiting in the car.

I'm waiting in the car. I'm in the middle of York Way, right? It's like a big one way system. I pull over. And I'm waiting for her to walk to the front of the gate. You get to the front of the gate. And she's chatting to me all the way to the front of the gate. You get to the front of the gate and she's chatting to me all the way to the front of the gate. You're like chat chat chat chat chat chat and then you get to the front of the gate and you're like how do I do the pin?

I said can you just put me on the phone to the other woman? Then you were like, press the cross, go into what? I was like, I don't know where it is. It's in WhatsApp. Press the cross. She goes, what cross? Do I go into Google Maps? I mean, you can and that won't help us right now. Press the cross. Like there was no cross. Then I pressed the cross and then you just gave me your phone number. And I was like, I don't know what to do with this now. It was the willingness which was so sweet but the utter incompetency on the other end of it was just like I just don't know how much more I could take of the lack of technical

ability. But can I just don't know how much more I could take of the lack of technical ability. But can I just say while... Why are you looking at me with your big doe eyes? I know. Then you kind of figured it out for yourself and while I was waiting for you... Because like, well, I'm going to wait in the middle of the one-way system of your way for the rest of my life. But while I was waiting for you to drive round, I got chatted up by this man who stopped his car and pulled his window down to say to me, What did he say?

Hello, hello, you are much more beautiful than my wife. That was what he said to me. Hello, how are you? You are much more beautiful than my wife. Which in retrospect is really rude and extremely disrespectful to a woman who has presumably dedicated her life to him, their home and their family. And I said, thanks. It was willing. Yeah. Should we get onto some feedback? Are you ready? Yeah. Okay, so you know the friend who was lying about being on his M-Pick? Oh yeah. Remember her? Well, we don't know if she was lying. It was an assumption. Yeah, it was an assumption. She

dropped like 10 pounds in a few months or something crazy, right? 10 pounds in like, yeah. Yeah. So Perrie and Ped, that's a great TikTok name, said, as somebody who actually cut carbs and- Perry and Pissed is a great name. Yeah. As someone who actually cut carbs and walked more and lost exactly zero pounds, I feel this deeply- Same, same!

The lying is the problem, not the jab. Yes. If she owned it she could empower other people but instead she's here acting like she's got abs from peppermint tea. Rude! I agree! I agree! Yeah. My friend dropped 10 pounds, it turned out she had cancer so I would say to this woman don't always assume that it's ozempic. Oh my god. Oh my god. HF says keep your mouth shut but raise your eyebrows loudly, repeatedly, every time she mentions green tea. You are not crazy, this is gaslighting. I don't know if this is gaslighting. What to say, oh I just had like a cold shower. That's not gaslighting.

That's not gaslighting. Gaslighting is making you feel mad in the process and making you doubt yourself about what you think. That's gaslighting. That's not gaslighting. It's about her. She's just a liar. Gaslighting is when someone turns the light off and you say, why did you turn the light off? They go, I didn't turn the light off. You're mad. That's gaslighting. Okay. Thank you for the explanation. There's a whole lesson for all of you on what gas lighting is and is not. Lorna likes cheese says I lost eight pounds last year by accidentally getting food poisoning in Spain. Where's my award? Just saying. She's setting everyone up to feel

like failures when really she's got a pharmaceutical BFF. Lie about your age, not your meds. Okay. Lie about your age, not your meds. Okay. Okay. Fair enough, point taken. Feet, summer feet. People have things to say about feet. I'm 48 and I already have a bunion. Oh my God, as if perimenopause couldn't get any worse.

Do you know, sometimes I think perimenopause couldn't get any worse and then it does. So I've stopped saying as if perimenopause couldn't get any worse and then it does. So I've stopped saying as if perimenopause could get any worse because there's no depth to how much it can shift and change your physical everything. Mental, spiritual being. Yeah, everything. Everything's on the line. Everything's up for fucking grabs in the perimenopause. It's not funny. It's like a gladimenopause. It's not funny. It's like a gladiator war.

It's not funny and it's not fun. And it's not clever. I don't know what you're laughing at. Stop that behaviour right now! Yeah. With Lauren's M&S obsession, I'm amazed that she isn't actually looking forward to wearing the old lady foxglove shoe collection one day. I'm with her. I'm with her. No, you're not. Stop thinking about it. I was giving it a deep think. Am I looking forward to that? No, no. I went for dinner with some friends the other day and they refer to you as being like an old lady. Yeah. As in because of the because they're big listeners of the show. Yeah. And

I said she you know she's not really like an old lady. I said it she ramps it up. But yeah, there is nothing Old about her just so you know, yeah, I said she's actually very naughty. I Two conversations about you with people and the last week. It's very interesting One man. This was a man, this was his exact conversation. How are you? Fine. Does he listen to the show? How's the podcast going? Great. I've stopped listening to it. I was like, oh, okay.

Thanks for the support. And he went, it's funny you two, it's funny you two, you're funny together. Thank you. Have you known each other all your lives? No, we haven't known each other all our lives. It's like, you're the good cop and she's the bad cop. I was like really? Is that the vibe you get? He was like yeah. I was like okay. Anyway he stopped listening so he doesn't know who's the good cop and who's the bad cop. Good cop and bad cop in what respect? He didn't specify. That was it. Then he moved on to talking about Spain. Why has he stopped listening? Wanker. What's that about? I don't know. And then another conversation. He doesn't want to hear about my smear test.

How rude. Apparently not. In my kitchen where I don't know why, I don't know how we got onto this conversation, but this woman said to me, the thing is, she said, Nicole may look a bit more scary than you, but she's not scary. You're the scary one. I was like, Oh, she's like, if you met the two of you, you would think that she would be scary, but you're the scary one. I was like, okay, am I, am I scary? I'm not scared. They were like, yeah, definitely scarier than her. It's like, okay. Do you think that's true? I'm sorry I got really stuck on as she looks scary.

Yeah. I actually didn't hear. I could have met us both in a dark alley. I actually didn't hear much after that. Why do I look scary? Because I've got sharp haircuts. Scarier than me. I'm not scary. No, scarier than me. No, they said she looks scarier than you, which means I look scary.

No, just scarier than me. Like, if you had to pick which one of us was mean. But I'm the mean one. I don't think either one of us look mean. But I'm the mean one apparently. I don't think either one of us look mean and I don't think either one of us are mean. Who's scarier? I think me.

Don't you? I mean, I would naturally have assumed that. Well, I've got a shorter fuse than you, so there's that. But I think we're both pretty friendly, aren't we? I don't know. I think what she was saying was like inwardly, I'm much more mean. She knows you, she doesn't know me. That's true. Do I look scary? I don't know. Listeners, I would like your input.

Do I look scary? Does Laura look scary? Who seems scarier? Why are we scary at all? I don't want to be scary. I would like to be scary. No. Really?

Yeah. Why? Just a bit. Why? Because I'm a pussy. You are not a pussy. You called me a pussy last week. I am a pussy. It's fine. I don't mind. You're not. But I need from the outside to look a little more like tough. You're not. Toughen up. You're tough enough. Do me a favour. I mean, you asked Oli or anyone that's seriously close to you. Oli does think I'm mean. Right. So anyone seriously close to you, myself and your husband. Both think I'm mean. I don't think you're mean, but I don't think you're tough. You're not a pushover. You just let certain things slide if there's a big difference. I think I am pushover some of the time when I shouldn't be.

And I really should have learned that lesson when I'm closer to the one F word than the other F word. By F word I mean 50 and 40. I just don't like to say it out loud. That was a weird sentence. Come on, let's get back to some more feedback. I'm going back to the feet. No excuse for minging feet. Just go to the salon. I mean, I kind of agree with that. No, I'm sorry. Well, you can't afford to go to the salon, but you can also... Then buy shit at home.

You can buy some very cheap feet kits on Amazon that will cost you like eight quid. And they do actually really do the job because I had that problem in Covid. Oh, yeah. And so I bought like an at home pedicure kit. It really wasn't expensive, I promise you. And it's lasted me all this time. What's in the kit? It had like an electric pumice, not pumice,

like an electric zzz thing. Like an electric sander. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It had like, I was going to say an emery board. I mean, is that not old? A nail file.

Yeah. Yeah. AKA an emery board. Wasn't the that not old? A nail file? Yeah, yeah. AKA an emery board. Wasn't the emery board like a metal one? Yes. I don't know, I just had shit in there. It was a long time ago. It was Covid, man. I can't remember. Fucking hell. You ask me difficult questions. I'm in the perimenopause now. Everything's changed. I can't remember Covid. Did it even happen? Did I dream it? Did we all dream it? Had estrogen then. Life was better. This is big. For the summer's biggest adventure. I think I just smurfed my pants. That's a little too excited. Sorry. Smurfs. Only in theaters July 18th. My off this is DB Suss says my so-called friend joked that my promotion must have been a diversity hire. We did not

stay friends for long after that. That is a terrible thing to say. That is a terrible thing to say. That's special. Book Babe says I used to engage, now I just nod and smile and let their comments fall into the void. Compete with me in kindness or not at all. Peace sign. It's so hard to do that again and again and again and again, it is for me anyway, it takes its toll. My friend and I always laugh that like

we've both got the same limit. Like you can push me and you can push me and you can push me and then you're like flick me and then I fucking explode. And she's exactly the same. Like a landmine. Little bit, but no well because you can like flick me and then I fucking explode and she's exactly the same. Like a landmine. Little bit. No well because you can stand on me quite a few times and I'm gonna let it go but then the final time I'm just I'm done. I'm feeling like Princess Diana when she visited the landmines and she was in all like the protective gear. I could see you in that outfit. It's like a white jumpsuit with a helmet. I could see you in that walking the landmines

of old Warsaw. I'm not, I'm the landmine. I know you're the landmine. You should be wearing the outfit. I don't know if I could pull that off. I feel like it needs structured underwear underneath it, you know? Well I don't need structured underwear. How dare you? I said if I'm wearing it I need structured underwear.

Why? I can't even remember what she was wearing. No, it was like a hazmat suit. I can't even remember what she was wearing. No it was like a hazmat suit. Very loose white thing with a helmet. Why do you need structured underwear then? Because you know otherwise you would just look like a blob or I would look like a blob. Like a Mr Blobby blob in like a big suit. You'd need like you know bra under it.

So underwear. Just basic underwear yeah. Hold on. I don't understand. I'm sorry. I don't have to Google it. No, I know what you're talking about. It was iconic. And then, yeah, it's Harry when yeah, exactly. Recently. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah. I'm what I'm lost on is the fact that I need the structured underwear, but you don't know. I said I would need the structured underwear. Why if it's loose? why do you need structured underwear? Because then it just all looks too loose. Then it all, like you need some shaping underneath it in such an outfit. My bet is... You're walking

landmines. My bet is Diana had a bra on. I actually couldn't Google an image of that to have a look later. But I bet she did. I bet Princess Diana had really nice bras. I bet Princess Diana always had good bras. I was actually thinking about bras the other day. What were you thinking? I was thinking that I really need some bras. I really, really need bras. I really resent buying bras. I find them quite expensive and I never know what bra to buy. I never know what size I am. I really resent buying bras. I find them quite expensive. And I never know what bra to buy. I never know what size I am. I'm just done with bras. I mean we did a whole self-care club on bras. I know and I look so much better in a bra. Well yeah, most people do. Most people do but they dig in, they cut in, they're so uncomfortable.

I feel like I can't breathe properly. I just want to take it off. I feel very restricted. they're so uncomfortable, I feel like I can't breathe properly, I just want to take it off. I feel very restricted. I didn't used to. This is a new, this is a new thing. I used to just put on a very much wired bra every day, sometimes a gossard wonder bra, all sorts of bras, and I would be fine with that, wouldn't even think about it. Now it's like a whole mental load. I know. What is that? I know. What's that about? I don't get it. And what if that happens in other areas of my life? Like what? Like niggas. Niggas or tops. Or like, oh I don't want to use a hairbrush anymore. Oh makeup's too much. You know, like what if you just slide into kind of bag lady territory but you don't notice because the slide is so

I think I'm sliding you're definitely not I think definitely not you're never without a full blow dry ever everything feels too much not the blow dry everything else but if you have the blow dry everything you can kind of forgive other things do do you know what I mean? Everything else feels like a lot. I mean can I tell you what I did with my hair this morning? Your hair looks very nice. Can I tell you what I did with my hair this morning? I overslept, I don't even know how I did but I did and I thought I just haven't got the time, the energy, the willpower, the mental capacity to wash and blow dry my hair.

I literally woke up, put in dry shampoo, did this and came to the studio. Yeah but you've got the look. You've got the look. But the look is hair that really probably should have been washed and dried. This is what I'm saying, it's a slow descent. But also I've got really greasy hair so I have to wash my hair every day. I've got really greasy, really short hair so it has to be done. I thought you weren't supposed to wash your hair every day. Oh I'm not having this conversation with you again. I don't have the patience. Is that true? Is it true or not?

Don't tell me the truth. I thought it was bad for your scalp. I have the patience for anything. To wash your hair every day. Who made that up? I don't know. It's like law. Who's law? Murphy's law. Hair law. LA law.

It's bollocks. Is it? It's bollocks. Look at my hair. Your hair always looks looks great but why do people say that then? Look at my hair. Look at the shine on my hair. Yeah, I know. Everyone loves your hair. And the health, the healthy, glossiness of my hair. But why do people say that then?

So does my hair look like it is not thriving? It is the only part of my body that is thriving, okay? And it gets washed every day. Okay, so it is okay to wash your hair. I mean, I can't be fucked washing my hair every day, but it is okay to wash your hair every day. It is okay to wash your hair every day. Like even Josh said to me,

I can only wash my hair three times a week. I'm like, where did you get that from? You're 12, how is this hair law? Where did you get that from? I don't know, I don't know. I need to ask him. I just was like, yeah, correct. But why is it correct? It's not correct. Who made up this law? I don't know, I don't know. I need to ask him. I just was like, yeah, correct. But why is it correct? Who made up this law?

And I've got greasy hair, so therefore I'm washing my hair every day. I'm not walking around with greasy hair, fuck that. I mean, you're lucky to have greasy hair because that means you've still got like hormones and stuff, I think, doesn't it? Doesn't everything get dry when you get older? You're saying that to me, you're saying that to me of all people. Oh, you're lucky to have greasy hair because you've got hormones. I mean, you tried to rub it in my fucking face. I mean, what is that? They say like, also if you have oily skin, it's better because you have less wrinkles.

Yeah, I have heard that. Yeah, so probably same for hair, right? Maybe it keeps your hair, like maybe it's good for you. Maybe it's like, gives you good, thriving, glossy, good hair. No one wants dry, shit hair. No one wants dry shit hair. No one wants dry shit hair. No, a lot of people have dry shit hair. No one wants it. No one wants it. What were we talking about? I feel like it's been Lamite. Her bra collection. I don't know how we do this, but we seem to do it.

And when we submitted for the podcast awards I'll say it at the top. Can I read it out? Please. It's from Vicky. Lauren and the puppy are my listener meltdown. You're going to give the puppy separation anxiety if you don't leave her. To be fair, she hasn't written it in capital letters, but I just thought I'd read it out that way. I have so many anxious lockdown dogs because they were never left as puppies. I'm just jealous as I'm without a dog of my own at the moment for the first time in my 50 years on this earth. I get the pleasure of other people's

dogs five days a week though. Vicky. Vicky is a dog walker for clarity. She must be. No, she has written into us before to tell us that she's a dog walker. Let me just say Vicki, I have had dogs in my life for 40 years, so I am fully aware of how to raise puppies, of separation anxiety. My mother had a lockdown dog, she has separation anxiety. I do leave. I've got a lockdown dog. She has separation anxiety. I do leave the dog. She is left and actually sometimes I leave her on purpose just to like go to the post office just so she learns that it's okay to be away from me. The post office? Yeah. What I'm just saying I like will run errands like un- urgent non-urgent errands just to leave her just so she's on her own. I do it on purpose. She

sleeps in the kitchen alone at night. It's okay, Vicki. Like, it's all right. I have separated from her and it's fine. To be honest, I think at first you had separation anxiety. Well, she was very new. And also, there is, I mean, this hasn't happened to me before because all my dogs before Barker were like family dogs. Barker's the first one that I raised, you know, on my own. Raised, birthed and raised. And then when they die, there is this thing of like, fuck, dogs die. And then you get a new puppy and you feel suddenly this like thing of like, okay, I've seen one die. I

know he was very, very, very ancient and had a very, very long life. But you do have this need to like keep them alive because you've just seen one die. You know, do you know what I'm saying? There's like a slight trauma. It's called, is it? Is that what it is? Yeah. I mean, you know what? It's okay. We all understand why you would have a bit of trauma over losing your dog. I mean, he didn't die prematurely or in an accident. He was 16, he was very old, it was his time to go. So it's like it was normal and natural that he died. But then a puppy comes along and you're like, shit, I've just seen the death of a dog and I don't want that again. So I feel quite like focused on keeping this puppy alive and healthy.

And responsible. Very responsible, yeah. And also she was very young. She was eight weeks. They're tiny. She's 12 now. She's, you know, coming into her own. Well she's been doing that for four weeks. She's certainly got a personality. She has. I'm so happy. She's a confident girl. I'm so happy she's got a personality. She's a strong independent woman now. I'm so happy you finally have a strong independent woman in your household. Thank fuck for that, it's about time. I mean and wow they are smart those girls. They are smart. Girl dogs aren't they? They watch you, they clock you, they read your body language. Did you see my story yesterday? I saw your story and I thought it was hilarious and it's absolutely true. I put up that look Miley

is the judges dog in North London. But it was then that you did a close up, like closing in on her giving you the side eye in your own bedroom. She does what she does. And sometimes I've noticed she does it from the couch now when I'm in the kitchen and she just puts her little paws up and all I can see is her head and she's just watching me. It's like, you know what?

Let me, leave me be. Yeah. I don't need the judgment for you. For someone who doesn't speak English, communicates very clearly speak English how fucking dare you speak English with her eyes she speaks English and sometimes with her bark you know like I even I know what is she wants yep it's weird that isn't it it is weird yeah it is weird and even with mine I'm learning now. She's a very good communicator. She is a very clear communicator and mine as well in the morning now. She, I'm not joking, Josh has taught her to say hello. So every just when you come down in the morning. It's

hilarious. She talks. I'm going to teach her to say all the things. Like what? I'm going to teach her to podcast. Then I'll never have to be without her. What you got to say about that Vicky? Yeah Vicky! Don't think you're like that right? We will be back on Thursday with a brand new episode of 40ish. Please keep your messages, your emails, your comments, everything coming in. Hello at 40ish.co.uk and we'll be back on Thursday. See you then. Wednesday for your turn where we hear your teen tales past and present. Teen Commandments, find us where you get your podcasts. Yes, teenagers, pick up your wet towels. And don't call us bruh.