40ish - Unfiltered - Flashing, fashion crisis & OnlyFans

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

This is the sidekick show to 40ish where we dish all the feedback from the week's episode diving into your comments, emails, DMs, and the social media buzz about the latest 40ish dilemmas. This week on the podcast, Lauren’s Lauren tech incompetence strikes again in a hilarious attempt to cancel a subscription, taking half a workday to achieve the impossible! Nicole has wardrobe woes that cause her to purchase a dress that resembles a Christmas cracker. One woman is shocked to discover that her old school chum is on OnlyFans and another gives the DHL delivery man more than he bargained for. Don't miss this week's episode – it's full of laughter and unexpected surprises! Want more 40ish in your life? Of course you do! Hit that follow and subscribe button, and let's get this conversation going! We would love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Go to ZOE.com to find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. You can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 to get 10% off membership. As a ZOE member, you’ll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. Use 40ISH10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. ever. This episode is sponsored by Zoe. Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Laura Mishcon. This is the sidekick show to our main show, 40ish, where we dish all the juicy feedback from the week's episode. We dive into your comments, your emails, your DMs, all the social media stuff that's going on, just everything. And we also talk a lot more crap about being middle-aged. Yeah, we do. Don't we? And if you want more 40ish in your life, and of course you do because who doesn't,

hit the follow and subscribe button and when you do subscribe you get ad free across both this show and our other show Self Care Hub and Early Access. Yeah. Lucky old you. And that you can only get on Apple podcast. So if you're listening on the Apple platform you will see the subscription there. If you're listening on another platform come over to Apple and you will find it. We've also got another segment on the show where we talk about our midlife meltdowns or our midlife moan of the week. We hear from me, we hear from Lauren and we hear from you and then we decide at the end of the show who is the lucky winner of the midlife meltdown of the week.

You know there's some irony in that because there we were last week moaning about God knows what we were moaning about. Freezers and all sorts of things and tennis and stuff. And then Apple decided to put us up as representatives of Women's History Month. There we are. You and I, the poster girls on Apple podcast for Women's History Month, bringing it for the women. Are we bringing it for the women? I mean, I guess we must be. If Apple say we are, we are. Because Apple know. I mean, I was absolutely gobsmacked. Me too. By that.

I'm like, you know, you could choose like Oprah. You could choose like Mel Robbins. You could choose like all the super bitches in podcasting of the world. There are change makers, trailblazers. Law changers. Yeah. Protesters. Yeah. Fighters. Yeah. And yet. Warriors. There are change makers, trailblazers, law changers, protesters, fighters, and yet, warriors, and yet, it's us. Talking about, my fridge freezer is broken. But you know what, people relate to that shit. People relate to fridge freezers being broken and then you have to

stay on the phone for like 25 minutes when you don't actually have time because you've got other shit to be getting on with to get through to domestic and fucking general. I will tell you what my moan is this week, right? My moan is as follows. I got the letter. You know that special letter that women get regularly where they say book in for your cervical smear. It's that special time of year and it's always around about my birthday so it's like my birthday treat. And you know I like to be a responsible adult woman and I'm putting this here on the show. Can I just say, can I just say this was the weirdest thing that we got the letter on the same day. We did. How weird is that? As weird as the fact that we're wearing the same trousers

today and yesterday when we recorded we turned up in the same top. So, you know. What is going on? We're more, we're merging. And we do get asked a lot if we're sisters. We do. I don't have a sister. Well I do. I know. It's not me. Anyway. So get my smear test letter. I'm like, I'll be the responsible adult and I'll book in for that smear test. Well, blow me down. It is more... Let me take a guess. Could you not book in for your smear test? Do you know? I couldn't. I am so shocked. The NHS is normally so efficient. It took me... Well, I held on the phone for a good half an hour twice, failure. No, you can't phone. Forget it. Online. Forget it. In the end. Because those e-consults,

they are so long and so long-winded and it's like sometimes you want to book an appointment for like, I don't know, an eye infection and they start asking you like, are you breathing? I don't know, an eye infection. And they start asking you like, are you- Are you breathing? Are you vomiting blood? Is your right foot still attached? Like, is the most rapid shit- Are you conscious?

Can you walk? Yes, I can walk. Like, I just need a quick antibiotic for my fucking eye. In the end, I got so frustrated. I got in the car, having this like, after putting down the phone, hanging on, hanging on, hanging on, I got in the car and I drove to the surgery. The surgery happened to be really, really busy.

I don't know what the fuck was going on, but the waiting room was full and there were five people standing at the reception desk. I don't know what they were doing. It was like some hangout. It was like some coffee afternoon. Does your doctor reception desk still have the glass panels? No, there's no glass. No, there's no glass. There's still glass where mine is. So there's that even extra separation and you have to talk extra loudly for them to hear you. That's always nice.

There's just a gathering of people, almost a small party, a birthday sized party room full of people, all hacking and looking, you know, all in the surgery, all in this close, like this space. So I go, yes, can I help you? I just thought, fuck this. I'm like, yes, I'd like to book in for my smear test, please. Sorry, I like to book in for my smear test. My cervical smear test. Fuck's sake. She's like, oh, okay. And obviously you're not allowed to go when

you've got your period. You're not allowed to go four days before your period. You're not allowed to go four days after your period. So the window is small. About three days and then you can't get an appointment. So finally, finally find a date that works for my cycle. Yeah. Their nurse. Yeah. Book it in. Two days later, I get sent two appointments for my son. I got to go into town for his doctor's appointments. When is it?

The morning of my smear. Of course it is. So I then have to go through the whole process again just to cancel the smear. No you didn't. Yes I did. I had to go into the surgery to cancel it and now I've been told it's too early for me to book an appointment for April. By the way, by the way, that's a lie. Just so you know, because I've also, because we've got a letter on the same day.

Oh, sorry we're not open for then. Oh, oh, I had a slightly different experience. I went in, I got the letter and I went in and there was obviously, I haven't seen her there before and she said, no, sorry. Again, I had exactly the same, had to talk through the glass and say I wanna book in for my cervical smear. Like, do I?

Please look at my cervix. It's just, it's not nice. It's an unpleasant experience enough as it is. Please can we make this as dignified as possible? You know? Please. She wouldn't let me book it. I actually made the effort to go and she wouldn't let me fucking book it. She said it was too early. But I've had the letter. Can I just say, just like, I'll give you a speculum. Can you just do mine for me? Just

so it's done. I just can't. I can't with it anymore. Right. Yeah. Anyway, then I had to go back. Yeah. She said, you can book it next week. Right. So I had to go back next week and I booked it again. Did you have a date? Hold on. The same thing happened. Fuck sake. Please, can I book in for a cervical smear in the public space of the doctor's surgery? There was a different person there and she gave me that week. So I didn't book it for a week. Basically the other woman didn't know what was going on.

So I booked it. So happy with myself. And it was the following week, it was like five days later. An hour before the smear. And you do build yourself up to it. You're just like, oh, no one wants to have a smear. Well, you at least have a shower in the morning. That's the minimum. Well, yeah, but it's also just you just want to get it out of the way and done. Yeah, done.

You want to get the results. No, everything's okay. And you're finished. Move on. Move on for another three years. Yeah. Thank you very much. Yeah. Anyway, it got cancelled an hour before the hour before. So I had to go through the whole rigmarole again. You were with me yesterday when I went to book it. I was. Lauren, you know me and you know when it comes to answering the listener's dilemmas and when it comes to food, I always trust my gut. And I also trust Zoe, the leading size and nutrition company. All the nutritionists that we've spoken to on Self Care Club have highlighted just how much misleading information is out there when it comes to food. Things like the claims that you see on packaging that say things like low sugar or nothing artificial. These

are often assigned to actually avoid these foods. Ever noticed a health claim on fresh fruit? No, never. Right, well you get my point. So it's completely understandable why there's so much distrust and wondering who you should turn to for accurate information. Well, it's very simple. It's not a dilemma for us. We use Zoe. Backed by one of the world's largest microbiome databases and most scientifically advanced at-home gut health tests, Zoey gives you proven science whenever you need it. Go to zoey.com and find out what Zoey membership could do for you. And because you listen to Fortyish, you can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 at checkout to get 10% off membership. As a Zoey member, you'll get an at-home test kit and personalised nutrition programme to Okay, well my moan, yeah, is I've actually got Trust Zoe.

Okay, well my moan. Yeah. Is I've actually got two moans and I'm really undecided about what to bring you. I'm actually gonna bring the most current one, which is that I went to two parties at the weekend, which was a lot, actually three parties because it was a lunch as well. So it was a lot of outfit changes. A lot. Yes, and a lot of makeup was a lot, actually three parts is because it was a lunch as well. So it was a lot of outfit changes.

A lot. Yes. And a lot of makeup and a lot. And I don't really go out that often, it would seem. So I hadn't really put on all of my smart clothes for a long time. And basically to cut a very long story short, none of them fit. Right. I couldn't do up.

There's a pair of trousers in my wardrobe that, you know, when you have an item of clothing that always errs on the side of small, and it doesn't matter if you've lost a bit of weight, it still feels a little bit snug. Or you have an item of clothing that errs on the side of big and it doesn't matter if you put on weight, they still fit you very nicely. Well, that was these trousers and I put them on and they did not do up. I think they've shrunk. They, they, they haven't shrunk because they are dry clean only. Oh, I bet they can still shrink. I promise you none or all my clothes suddenly shrunk. I don't think that's what's happened. So I basically have expanded over the last few weeks.

It was the moment that I needed. Was it? No one needs that moment. Who needs that moment? It's a really bad moment. It's a really bad moment when you then have to go to a party, isn't it? Well, yeah.

Cause then you've got to like feel okay in the clothes that are still too tight. And basically you only got an outfit on because it actually just covers you. The difference between you and me is, is that you would just like go nil by mouth till it fits. No I wouldn't. I get rid of the item.

I had this jumpsuit. These trousers, can I just remind you they are Nadine Marabi. Yeah they're really nice. I spent a fortune on these trousers. I really treated myself because I had loads of things coming up. They were over £200, right? And I never spend that on clothes, ever. But you had events coming. I had loads of events and I have worn them maybe 10 times since. They are so useful and

I love them. There is no way I am bidding these trousers. No way. Well, I had a jumpsuit, a black strapless jumpsuit. It was just the perfect jumpsuit because you kind of dress it down, but you could really dress it up. Big necklace, heels. It was the most easy outfit. You have to think about it. I think they call that a day to night outfit. Well, definitely not a day because it was strapless. I wouldn't be wearing that. You could wear a cardigan on top. I mean I could but it would be a bit showy. But it was like the perfect outfit for just

perfect. You could really wear it to an event or a dinner or a party or an anything. I wore it. Can't be that perfect because I've known you five years and never seen you in it ever. And I know you sure. You know, can I just say whilst we're on the subject, I've barely ever seen you in the same thing twice. Well, it was great. And I definitely wore it after Covid ended because I remember it was like,

oh, my God, Covid's finished, I can go out. And I wore this jumpsuit anyway. Put it on a few weeks ago for something, to try on for something. I could not get this motherfucker done up over my ribs. It was like, what has happened to my ribs? This no longer zips up. What has happened to my ribs? It's like expanded, like my whole rib cage has expanded on my boobs or like up. Your boobs are much bigger. I could not zip this fucker up. So I gave it to my sister-in-law. I was like, you're going away. You're going to love this jumpsuit.

It's amazing. How did that decision process come to be? Like, I know I've just told you that I don't fit into any of my clothes. I was like, my ribs are not going to shrink. No, no. But why your sister-in-law? Why not your work wife? Oh. I'll tell you why because she was going away over Christmas and she was like I really need. So was I. But you did not say to me I really need some fabulous outfits so I was like here are some fabulous outfits to borrow here's some bags here's some bits and pieces and I was like by the way you can keep the jumpsuit because I can't do it And she kept it and then the other day she said to me. Oh my god that jumpsuit is the best But yeah, I know yeah, I know people who don't have like a giant rib cage and walloping bosoms anyway anyway

This is about my own. Yeah, I've got another party. Yeah, I have a good friend in three weeks time Yeah, and I'm wearing those fucking trousers. Okay. Good luck. I'm wearing those fucking trousers Good and no one is going to stop me It's the worst though, isn't it? Come on, it is the worst feeling when you realize okay now I've really got to rein it in now I've got to do something about it because I feel shit in everything Nothing fucking fits and this is just not working for me to be honest once I wasn't a size 8 anymore I gave up anyway, so it's like I'm not that for me. To be honest, once I wasn't a size eight anymore, I gave up anyway.

So it's like, I'm not that tiny anymore, so it doesn't matter anymore. So I've kind of stopped. You say it doesn't matter anymore, but you always have the comment after Christmas, oh, I'm basically turned into a panatoni. Well, it's because I've eaten like eight panatonis. So then I turn into a panatoni. And then you said the other day when you came back from holiday, right, I need to rein it in now because I've been on holiday.

I think I said I need to shift some timber was the actual phrase I used. It was a terrible phrase. But it's all right because I'm still wearing big jumpers anyway. What's your other moan? Oh, you're not into this one. You're just the wrong fucking audience. Yeah. You're the wrong audience. I have, right. Can I just say, because we're not quite finished on this topic, if it was somebody else sat here, I feel like you would take them a bit more seriously. Would I? Yes. Not really. Yes you would. What do you want me to do about it?

Fucking liposuction? No, I want you to have some sort of understanding and sympathy that is fucking me off. Yeah, I get it, it fucks you off, you have to wear something else. No, I'm not going to wear else. I'm just gonna figure it out. Okay. My other moan is, I mean, I've only got myself to blame. You know when those ads come up on Instagram and they look amazing. Amazing. And I have been catfished a few times. Have you? Yeah, I have. Anyway, there was a like a floor length dress and I had all these parties as I said, this is a few weeks ago and it just looked, it was bright red, I even hate myself in red,

I don't know why I would ever buy myself a red dress and it just looked fabulous, absolutely fabulous. Anyway, the dress arrived, the dress arrived in time for the parties but as I have previously mentioned, I have expanded somewhat and I didn't realise until the parties came. I put the dress on and I showed Adam and I said, what do you think? And he said, why are you wearing a Christmas cracker? But Adam often finds your outfits quite eccentric. Like he will sometimes say things like you

can't go to a party in that. Yes. So he doesn't- But I usually ignore him. He doesn't always understand your fashion styling. No, but then when I put it all together and the hair and the makeup and the jean and everything, then he'll say, oh, you look great. He can't imagine it. He can't see the vision.

No. Until it's before him. But when he said Christmas cracker, I felt he was correct. Was he correct? He was 100% correct. He goes, what the fuck is that? I said, you know what it is? It's a 30 pound dress off Instagram

and it looks like a 30 pound dress off Instagram. You know, I'm 48. I can't pull off 30 pound dresses anymore. We can't. I just cannot. Anyway. Yeah, have you got a photo of it? I have got a photo of it and we're not gonna show you

because you'll just take the fucking piss. Okay. It was a moment, it was a lapse in judgment. What do you want from me? Listen, I will take the piss, but also I still want to see it. Okay, well maybe I'll put it on our Instagram. Anyway, trying to return this thing is like, I might even give them another 30 quid just to make this payments. Just to make it go away. Right, I get this email from them and I you know there's no returns policy there's no you know like a credible website right. There's a receipt. There's a receipt you know exactly where to return it how to return it and pack it back up you go to your in post lock or you go to your every delivery and you're done. That's it. This is not the case. I got this long-winded

email about options about if I want to get 30% back, then I can keep the item. I can actually keep it. They don't even want this fucking thing. They don't want me to give it back. So there's a few options I can have it for. If I want 20% back, I can do this. If I want 30% back, I can do that. If I want the% back I can do this if I want 30% back I could do that if I want the full refund yes please then you can do a triathlon send us video evidence yeah right basically yeah all I want to do is return this thing and now I'm thinking it was 33 it was 33 pounds that was included postage and packaging like I actually don't think I've got the headache for this I might just have to throw the 33 pounds away because it's giving me anxiety. It's just ridiculous. So my moan is why do

some people make returns so difficult? Okay. Yeah, I hear that. I once and only once and never again ordered from Sheen. Oh, well done. You said it correctly this week. Yeah. Once and only once. No, Sheen's very easy to return. It wasn't. It wasn't then. It is done. You said it correctly this week. Yeah. Once and only once. No, Sheen's very easy to return. It wasn't. It wasn't then. It is now. To be honest with you, with all due respect, it took you two and a half hours to cancel Survey Monkey this week. So are you the reputable person to trust with this? I'm quite good with returns. I'm better with returns than I am with tech. Returns is like a part-time job for me. Sheen make it particularly difficult. They don't. They don't. The quality and the sizing control was so appalling. It was almost

like did you send this stuff as a joke? Sometimes what she do is they send a completely different item, completely different. It will be if you've ordered a skirt and it will be a skirt, but that is the only thing it has in common with the item you ordered. Well, for me, it was a one and done and never again. Well, I've got teenage girls, so we do order a lot from Sheen.

Right, survey monkey. Listen, it was really tricky. I wanted to cancel our account. There was no button for canceling the account. I went onto the chat bot. The chat bot told me how to cancel the account, but it was the same thing that I've been doing. But the button they said was there wasn't there.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I know these things. Then it was there. I know. I'm not joking when I tell you it took her two and a half hours on a Monday morning. Yeah. And we have got so much work on at the moment. But I couldn't, I had to cancel it because I was going to be charged for another month. No, I know. But and I wanted you to cancel it just swiftly.

It was time precious. And so we could get on with other stuff. I was also having the day where I just couldn't focus, could I? You couldn't focus. I was like stop talking I have to cancel this just I have to and then I emailed them I was like I'm gonna email them I'm gonna email them. Normally she phones them. Normally I do I email them I was like I can't cancel they can't. Did they email you back? Well not only did they email me back they did it for me and then I was like oh my and then you were like oh my god you've done it it's been cancelled but it wasn't me it was actually them them. They did it from their end.

So I never even did it. I mean, I did find the button, but by the time I'd found the button, they'd actually already. So the button was there? It was there. They make it so difficult. They did make it so difficult.

They did. Just like she does. It's like the returns. It's the same thing. They don't want you to cancel, so they make it really hard. This company do not want me to send this fucking dress, but who wants this fucking dress?

I'm gonna find it. Maybe I want it. Do I want it? You do not want this dress. I am in great in red. I'm gonna show you this dress. Okay. I'm gonna find a picture and show you this dress. In the meantime I've got some feedback. Are you ready for this? I'm ready, I'm always ready for it. I love, this is like my favourite part of the whole show is the feedback. I don't even want to know what you make of this email right. I'm just gonna preempt this because I had to edit it down because it was a very, very, very long correspondence to say that the lady who wrote in says that when she was doing a bit of cyberstalking, it's about cyberstalking. Remember the woman whose ex-husband was going on holiday with his girlfriend and she was doing a bit of cyberstalking and she accidentally liked her Instagram post, right?

Oh my god. So this woman did say that she's not on social media anymore and she doesn't cyberstalk anymore and this happened when she was much younger. So I'm just preempting it with that, right? Okay. Hi Lauren and Nicole, I'm writing in regards to the cyberstalking incident shared

on the recent podcast episode as I've done it and I've also been a victim of it. Oh dear. The last time I did it, it was when Instagram recommended me an old high school classmate. Let's just say her life took a complete 180 from how I remembered her. It's a bit sad actually. So I was snooping through her Instagram page and her stories because they popped up and lo and behold she's doing drugs, alcohol,

has a kid that I believe was taken from her and she runs an OnlyFans account. What a bit of snooping we'll get you. On her stories she was promoting sex toys and her sex toy wish list on Instagram. I was so shocked I screen-shotted stuff and I sent it to my husband being like wow what on earth happened to her. No shade to sex workers or people who do that on the side. I totally get it as the Cosy Lives is outrageous and people pay a pretty penny for feet pics. But it was more like wow she's clearly not doing well what happened to this poor girl why isn't she at least censoring some of this stuff. Anyway I forgot that on Instagram

stories unless you've only shown it to certain people it will tell the poster who peeped at your stuff. She later made a bunch of stories saying that she was going to make a separate account and had forgotten about certain people on her account. I wasn't upset or anything, she was probably just as embarrassed as I was. But who actually looks at who's viewed your stories? I mean, do you ever look? I never look. I never assume anyone's viewing my stories. No. I don't have the time or bandwidth to view things like that because then you have to really care. That's what I mean. I don't think there's a lot of people that actually

search for who's looked at their stories. I mean, okay. How old are they? Do you know? Does it change? Well she said she, I think this was a long time ago because she said I'm not on social media anymore and this happened many years ago Oh, okay. I'm just gonna say though I know she's saying like no shade to sex workers or people who do this on the side But like it's quite a little bit of judging my judge pants in this email. She's screenshotting it She's like sending it to her husband. She you know the whole thing So listen if this but listen we all judge okay, and we all snoop Listen, if this is... But listen, we all judge, right?

And we all snoop. These are human behaviours, common human behaviours that we are all capable of. You know, if this woman's making a living out of promoting sex toys, good for her. Good for her. Yeah. I don't want to do OnlyFans because no one wants to pay to see me naked. But you know what? If they did, good for her great

she's making a good living she's enjoying herself how do you know people don't want to pay to see you naked do you know what i'm not going to test that thing right because be really really deeply inappropriate it's already inappropriate that i'm on t. Is it? Is it? Yeah, it is a bit. You love it when your TikToks pop up on your kids. I hate it. Right. Often the kids come in, my friend, my kid's friends come in and they say,

oh, you popped up on my for you page. And all I say is, I'm so sorry. Now imagine if it's your vag popping up. Do you know what I mean? I found the dress. It's the sleeves. Basically, listeners, it's an off the shoulder dress, full column length to the floor dress with long sleeves, completely plain, but then...

Bright red, pillar box red. Pillar box red, but then at the sleeves there is what one can only describe as the end of a cracker, yeah, fluting. Yeah, but I like that. Yeah, I'm not loving that. If you chopped those bits off, just left it as a plain, classic red column dress. Yeah, they're a bit extra. I see what you mean. I can see why you thought it was a thing. Yeah. And I thought, oh, that's fabulous. And for 30 quid, let's try it. But I think because there's like a model posing by a very exquisite foreign villa next to a pool and she's wearing it.

I got caffin. She's like, maybe a size zero, if that. And she's like maybe a size zero if that yeah she's about yeah 24 yeah all right okay yeah no I know I know it's a no I can't return the fucking thing Lucy has written in. Okay. She says, hi Lauren and Nicole. Hi Lucy. Hi Lucy.

I listen without fail on my way to work every Thursday and now every Tuesday too. Yay! Thank you. I felt compelled to email having heard this morning's episode and the dilemma from the mum of a 12 year old who was constantly being told by another mum that her kid was trouble and the other mum clearly thought her own kid was an angel. This was the one when the vape fell out. This resonated hard with people. Oh it really did. And it resonated hard on TikTok. Did you see all of the comments on TikTok? I saw all the comments.

Everyone was like, tell her, tell her. The timing of hearing that dilemma was so perfect for me. I have a very similar issue at the moment with a mum who I've known since primary school and am in a mum friend group with. My 13 year old daughter and her 12 year old perfect daughter were good friends in primary school But it changed a bit in secondary and unfortunately my daughter took longer than I would have liked to realize that she should find some other friends Yeah, it happens. I've had that. I've had that. The issue with the other mum has been building over the months and started off as concerned in inverted commas messages Mixed with friendly chatty messages and the odd

friendly night out. But recently I've had two separate accusing WhatsApp rants from her and I am sick of it. Good for you. When I see my phone ping with a message, my heart sinks. I've said to her previously that I know my kid isn't perfect and my daughter definitely has done some stuff she shouldn't have done, but I know her daughter has too. I've even got a voice note to prove it, but I keep that to myself because I'm not going to lower myself to her level. Well good for you for not being petty but wow I'd be tempted to be petty. You wouldn't be petty. There's nothing petty about you. There could be. No, no. This mum talks as if she's there in the classroom or

playground with these kids repeating the story as if it's her own. Oh, there's something wrong about that. Yeah, mum's gossiping like they are the 12 year old. It's weird. You need to not come down to their level. To, yeah, you need to access the adult in you and not go into child mode. It's made even more awkward, she says, that the girls are in the same netball team outside of school and both me and my daughter have at times felt pretty uncomfortable in the group of mums due to the other mum being the popular one that can hold court a bit.

But today, karma appears to have happened and I am secretly jumping for joy. Actually, I was literally jumping for joy in the office. What happened? Following some performance trials in the team, it was announced via WhatsApp today that my daughter has been put in the A team and her perfect, intelligent, sporty daughter has been put in the B team. I know this may seem cruel and don't judge me, we are not judging you. We are understanding this on a deep level.

But it's like the netball coach has served up a huge slice of double chocolate cake with a dollop of double cream. Thank you, God. Yes. Everything you said was spot on and I'm so relieved to hear I'm not alone. I love Fortyish for hitting the nail on the head with all the craziness of midlife. Thank you. Oh, well, thank you, Lucy. I love everything about that email. Yeah, me too.

Everything. Me too. Because I feel like I could know this mom, you know? The stuff that she's dealing with, the stuff that I have dealt with over the years of having daughters, like it's just so common. It's so common and there is always that mom that just misses the mark ever so slightly.

Those are vicious. It's vicious out there, right? It's dog eat bloody dog. And what they're all trying to do is survive these kids yeah they're all trying to survive and they're all trying to integrate and they're all needing to be part of that tribe and one's in and one's out and it's so changeable so they're all just fighting for their lives and the mums are the ones that have to emotionally hold that listen what do they say you're only as happy as your unhappiest child.

That's the second time I've heard that today. So when you've got a kid who is struggling or miserable or feeling excluded or whatever, you feel shit as a parent because it's your natural instinct is to go in, swoop in, fix it, help it, make them better. What's our listener meltdown this week? I actually thought that was the meltdown. No, that was just feedback.

Feedback. Yeah, we've actually got a proper meltdown. No, that was just feedback. Feedback. Yeah, we've actually got a proper meltdown. Okay, it goes like this. I was listening to Nicole rant about bras. We've had a lot of feedback about the bras. Bras are a big issue. I don't even remember ranting. I mean, I know I do rant about bras,

but I don't remember doing it on the show. I'm sure I did, because I rant about bras quite a lot. How long ago was that? We record so much content, I can't remember what I even say. And people come up to me when I'm out now, like, you know, a party or something. Hi Nicole, how are your tits? No, no, but they're like, they'll, they'll, they'll say something they've heard in the show and I don't know what they're talking about.

Yeah, I think you were talking about them last week, how you were wearing two bras and then you didn't want to talk about it because you got shy. Was I only talking about it last week? Yeah. Okay. I was listening to Nicole rant about bras and had to share my story. As part of my life's mission to find a bra that fits uplifts and doesn't dig into me all day, or good luck with that, I ordered eight to try. The doorbell rang and it was DHL delivering a big bag of dog food.

Oh, I heard the bell, quickly pulled a cardigan on and opened the door. He greeted me with a big smile and asked for me to sign. I dragged the bag inside and as he left said I had made his day and gave me a wink. What has she done? It was only when I returned upstairs to the mirror that I realised I'd been trying on a front fastening bra and it had completely come undone while I was dragging and signing for the package. My entire right tit was hanging out. Oh amazing! As if this wasn't bad enough, my husband later insisted that we watch the whole thing back on

the ring doorbell footage for his own entertainment so he could witness my stupidity for himself. But hold on, she said she had a cardigan on! Yeah but it must have been open! She must have like just shr. But hold on, she said she had a cardigan on. Yeah, but it must have been open. She must have like just shrugged it on, not done it up. And then, I don't know. And as she kind of leant forward, it popped. But like the DHL guy, that is not cool. What's he supposed to do though? He's supposed to be a gentleman and look away and walk away and not make her feel completely humiliated that she's just flashed a stranger her right tits. That's what he's supposed to do. What would your husband do? He wouldn't say that. He wouldn't go up to her and go

thanks for the... What did he say to her? He said you made my day. My husband wouldn't say you made my day. He would be so embarrassed and he would look the other way. I feel like DHL delivery men see a lot. Of tits? Yeah. That is such a generalisation. I just meant, I'm in tits, but they must see a lot. They must see a lot. Like people opening the door in all sorts of states. I reckon Uber drivers probably see more. I mean, I definitely opened the door to postmen and delivery men in the middle of breastfeeding. Like, you know, I got to the point where you can actually walk around breastfeeding.

Yeah. And I definitely would have. I mean, I breastfed everywhere. That is different. I'm sorry. Breastfeeding is very different. Well, there was a baby attached to it. So it wasn't like...

And also, it's... that is completely different. I mean, I'm really sorry, listener. That is mortificado. Yeah. That is absolutely brilliant. But also brilliant. I mean, I'm really sorry, listener, that is mortificado. Yeah, that is absolutely brilliant and hilarious. And thank you for sharing your embarrassment with us and we really appreciate it. So we've got now in this space, we've got in the midlife meltdown space, booking of a smear, which you can't do.

Can't do, no. Even having a smear. Me putting on like excessive amounts of weight in what seems you can't do. Can't do. Even having a smear. Yeah. Me putting on like excessive amounts of weight in what seems to be three weeks. Okay, I mean that's a bit of an exaggeration but okay like one whole inch. It's not a whole inch. I couldn't do the trousers up and they were like usually big anyway. Anyway. And basically flashing the DHL guy your tits. I mean I really do think the listener has won. I think I have to agree. You've won.

And you've won nothing. The prize is nothing. Just the entertainment of the nation. Ha ha ha ha. Thank you so much for all your feedback. Please do keep it coming in. We absolutely adore it. And we love that you are

now part of the show and that we can all be in midlife moaning together. It's fantastic, isn't it? I love being in crisis with everyone. Yeah. And if you want to be in touch, you can email us hello at 40ish.co.uk that's 40ish.co.uk or you can find us on Instagram, on TikTok or we'll stick to Instagram because we're not brilliant with TikTok. And who wants to be brilliant with TikTok when you're 48? No one. Not even when you're 47. Yeah. Well, you weren't great at 37.

I don't think it even existed when I was 37. TikTok. Did it? No idea. Probably not. Anyway, we'll be back on Thursday with a main show of Fortish. See you then! Hi, I'm Grace, host of Red Run True Crime podcast. These cases focus on the true victims of crime. Why not jump in at episode 114, the tragic murder of Jasmine and Aliyah? The main suspect in this case gave an extremely bizarre interview to a number of press reporters

whilst he was drunk and reportedly high. He speaks about an awful lot on camera and has this completely inappropriate laughing and chuckling response when talking about the case. He may even have thought he was going to get away with the double murder he'd been accused of but what he didn't know was that two undercover officers were on their way to catch him out and he easily and willingly took the bait. You can find us wherever you get your podcasts. Just search Red Rum True Crime. That's Red Rum, murder backwards, R-E-D-R-U-M, true crime.