40ish - Unfiltered - Galentines Day, China Clowns and Mini Eggs

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

This is the sidekick show to 40ish where every Tuesday we dish on the feedback from the week's episode diving into your comments, emails, DMs, and the social media buzz about the latest 40ish dilemmas. This week: Lauren and Nicole chat about Labia Puffing, the annoyance of “Galentines Day” and a listener confesses a whopping lie about their cat. Plus, at what point in the year is it ok to eat a Cadbury’s mini egg?  Want more 40ish in your life? Of course you do! Hit that follow and subscribe button, and let's get this conversation going! We would love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Go to ZOE.com to find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. You can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 to get 10% off membership. As a ZOE member, you’ll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. Use 40ISH10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or visit connexontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This episode is sponsored by Zoe. Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I am Nicole Goodman. I am Lauren Mishcon. This is the sidekick show to 40ish where we dish all the juicy feedback from the week's episode. Every Tuesday we're diving into your comments, emails, DMs and the social media buzz about what's happening in 40ish. Yup. Things are happening. We've had feedback on penis beaker. If you're wondering what penis

beaker is, it is the question that was on Mumsnet in 2011 or something about a woman who wondered if it was weird that her husband dunked his penis in a beaker after sex. Yes, it is weird. We had feedback from my mother. She, she, yup, yup. She phoned me up. Oh my god, I can't, I just can't, I can't. I forget sometimes when we do the show that one of our biggest fans is Jackie, aka my mother. So she phoned me to say, well, I listened to your penis, Beaker Show. Oh my God, I can't, I can't, I can't. She said, I can't understand it. Who washes their willy after sex? In my experience, men

don't care about things like that. They just go to sleep. They just go to sleep and then they'll deal with it in the morning and they have a shower. Men aren't fussy about that sort of thing. And I was like, I... You know what? There are so many things wrong with that sentence. My mum's been married three times. First time was to my dad. Don't want to know. Second time...

I don't want to know. Also, I don't want to know. Love Ross. Love Jackie. Don't want to know. Love Ross, love Jackie, don't wanna know! I mean she is speaking from the same song sheet as the rest of the world. No one knows a man that dunks his penis in a beaker after sex. It seems to be only this woman's husband. He seems to be the lone ranger in the penis dunking world.

But I guess she just wanted to reiterate that she had never heard of such a thing, which is reassuring because if my mother had rung me up and said, well, I don't know what all the fuss about the penis speaker, everyone uses a penis speaker, that would have been much worse. Admit it much worse. If she'd said I didn't raise a child who married a man who didn't use a penis speaker, I just, I just, I'm struggling to get past, tell me your dad doesn't listen to this show. No. I'm struggling to get past the fact that Jackie

hears us being really, really naughty. Cause I like your mom and I don't want her to think badly. It's okay. She's really open-minded. Yeah. But what I'm saying is of the two evils, I'm glad she's not a person who thinks that penis beaker is normal. That's good.

Listen, if there is any further feedback from your mum, I'm not sure I want to know, because I now feel like I have to behave myself because Jackie is listening. There's plenty. She's always there. Bear in mind, Jackie is always listening. It's a bit like I say to the kids, don't put anything on your social, you know, like on your WhatsApps that you don't want your headmaster to see. Correct. So I would say don't say anything on this show that you don't want Jackie to hear. It's a bit late. It's a bit late. It's a bit late. Oh, she also said she agrees about baby girl. Yeah. What about Antonio Banderas? Yeah, she's a big fan. I need to see baby girl. I can't tell you how much you need to see baby though.

Please see it. Okay. We had some more feedback this week. We did. We've had some lovely emails, but can I just read my favorite one? Please. It's a very long email so I might not read it all. Okay you can abridge it. Hi Lauren and Nicole I just had to send this email because honestly you two are saving my life. Oh my god. My name is Sareeqa and I'm writing to you all the way from South Africa I turned 38 next month February the 15th yes feel free to dedicate an entire episode to my greatness. Happy birthday. I'm gonna dedicate this episode to her birthday. Excuse me, what about my birthday?

My birthday. My birthday was yesterday. Can you share it joint with her? Yes. Okay. Sareeca, we are both Aquarians. Yes. We can, this is dedicated to Aquarians.

Yes, it is. Happy birthday Aquarians. Never met Sareeca, let's dedicate a whole thing to her but fuck me don't worry about me. Yeah don't worry about you. And your podcast is my daily dose of sanity, laughter and preparation for whatever fresh hell awaits me in my 40s. Love it. Brain fog, rogue chin hairs, the sudden urge to start a herb garden, I feel like I'm ready for it all thanks to you. Your most recent episode had me tearing up in my car, partly from laughter, partly from emotional overload. The way you were jerking each other around about not being gay had me wheezing.

It was pure comedy gold and reminded me of my very odd coming out phase. Let's just say denial was a hobby for a while and my subtle hints were about as subtle as a marching band at a funeral. Yeah, that's not subtle. I have to say I'd love to know more about her coming out story. It sounds great. Sareeqa, tell us more. We want to hear everything. As a married lesbian with a gorgeous wife and 11 month old baby boy, QR moment, I felt that episode in my soul.

Anyway, I swear this email isn't just about me, but let's be real, it kind of is. I actually have an answer for the listeners dilemma from I told a huge lie sex dreams and James Nesbitt because of course I do. Okay, let's hear her answer to the dilemma. Now, I don't know how familiar you are with South African culture and humor, which let's be honest is some of the best in the world, but here's how I'd handle it with a mix of UK and SA cheekiness. Okay.

She's talking about the woman who lied about her mother-in-law's death because she wanted to go to Florence for a few days with her then boyfriend. Yes. And they're now getting married. Yes. The boss is coming to the wedding and he's going to meet the mother-in-law. He's very much not dead. Yes. Yes. She should tell her boss something like, look, when we went away, I genuinely didn't know my boyfriend's extended family that well. Turns out the funeral wasn't for his biological mother, but rather for the woman who practically raised him. So when I got back, I didn't think it was a big deal to clarify. Honestly, I was just relieved no one asked me to

help with the funeral sandwiches. But since we're now invited to the wedding I feel he should know. Yes I like it. It's breezy. It's not it's dishonest but it doesn't sound dishonest. It's plausible. Sareeqa sounds very breezy and very fun. And I reckon with the right tone you actually could get away with that. It's like listen I know it's like totally not a big deal because who's petty enough to care about it but like it wasn't his actual mom it's just the woman who raised him She's like basically like his mom, but I just like tell you, because otherwise you might feel weird at the wedding. Like she's not a ghost. I like that. But also she would do it in South African accent. And she'd be like, oh, look, like I know it's not

a big deal, but his mom is not dead. Oh, shame. It's like a woman who raised him. It's not like his mom, but it's like his mom. Like that. Right. Okay. You finished? Yeah, I'm finished. Thank you for the Ted talk. Oh, you're so welcome. Um, I hadn't actually finished what she said. Oh, okay. She says lesson learned, always triple debt. Check the dead person's credentials before taking leave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what she's saying. Yeah. Boom. She says crisis somewhat averted. Yeah. Now she just has to hope her boss doesn't have a sense of humor as dead as the fake mum. Nice. Love it. Love it. She finishes off saying, anyway, keep doing what you're doing. I can't wait to hop into my car each morning because by the time

I'm on my way to slay your episodes are out and ready to fuel my soul. You ladies are the best. You are the best, Sareeqa. Sareeqa, I think you're part of our subscription because she must have got this early because I got this in the middle of the night and the episode hadn't dropped yet. So she must be part of our subscription because by the way, if you didn't already know in our subscription, you get early access to all episodes. So I told Ollie about this dilemma. I was like, this was the dilemma that came in on our show last week. And I told him about this dilemma. I was like, this was a dilemma that came in on our show last week. And I told him, he was like, I'm sorry, that woman is a bit thick. Why

didn't she just say it was his grandma that died? Because it's like really quite normal to have a dead grandma by the time you're an adult. Yeah, but that's not helpful. Because it's like 2020 vision hindsight is 2020 vision. True. But he was like, that was just really short sighted of her. 20 vision hindsight is 20, 20 vision. True. But he was like, that was just really short sighted of her. You know, 20, 20 vision. I site jokes. Yeah. Oh, it's wild here today at the club. Wild, wild. Someone else you said had a solution as well. Oh yeah. We've got a message on Instagram. This was the best. Yeah. And

by the way, both of us are absolute numpties for not even thinking about it. And it was like, Oh yeah, why don't we think of that? Vicky says, Flora's trip was five years ago? Question mark. Just say it was an ex-boyfriend's mom or just tell the truth. I did say just tell the truth. Yeah, just say it was an ex-boyfriend's mom. When he asked like, hang on, I thought that that she was dead. No, Richard, that was an ex-boyfriend. Can I also just say another thing that we haven't thought of? Yeah.

The boss probably hasn't even remembered. It depends. The boss might have remembered. Some people remember mad shit, right? Some people do. Do you remember your employee went to a funeral? Okay, listen, this week, my best friend messaged me. She said, Yeah, but this is your best friend. Can I just say whatever you're about to say? This is your best friend. This is random, right? She's like, do you want to go and see the musical Clueless with me? Do you remember?

Wait before the face Do you remember when we went to see the film and you like were mute because you just had your wisdom teeth out? And you were all puffing you in a really bad mood. My mum took us as like a treat to cheer you up Zero recollection of any of this and and also I'm not going to see musical Cuelas with her. Also you have the worst memory. Well I know but like zero memory but why would she remember that? Is there a point to this?

I'm just saying people remember weird random stuff. They do! That was the most weird random thing to remember right? No I don't know why you've just told us that. I just don't know why. Because you said why is Richard, the imaginary boss, I'm calling him Richard, I don't know his actual name. Why is Richard going to remember this story that this lie that she told because people

remember random stuff. There was a very fine link between the two. I'm just saying. Okay, to me, it was an obvious link. Also, now I know that you're looking at other people because I said to you yesterday, you said to me, what do I want for my birthday? Yeah. Which I have to say, I was very surprised about. Why? Because you pride yourself on being such a good gift giver. And I actually had a really good gift in my basket. And then I was just about to click out and I was like, I just had this

feeling like if she wanted that, she would have bought that for herself already. Like she would own that she doesn't own it. And there's a reason why she doesn't own it. And then I was like, she's not going to like it. And then she's going to be like, Oh, you know, so I just thought, you know what, just be an adult, ask the woman what she wants. So I then said, why don't we go, because we are exactly a month apart. Why don't we just go to a nice theater trip? So then yesterday we were going backwards and forwards

over what musical to see. And now it turns out, because you were like, oh no, I don't want to see a play because I suggested a couple of plays. I want to see a musical because Olly won't go to musical, which is fine. And now it turns out that you're going with someone else.

You're going to see Clueless. I'm not going. I'm not going. I declined. Did you say no? Yeah, declined. No, no, I'm not going. I'm not going. I declined. Did you say no? Yeah, declined. Oh, why? Because I don't massively want to see it.

And also, as just mentioned, I don't remember seeing the film. You don't remember seeing Clueless? Don't be ridiculous. I've just told you the story about how I don't remember seeing Clueless. So what's the point of me seeing the musical? I've literally just told you.

You must remember Clueless. What is it? Which one is it? With Alicia Silverstone. Thank you. Isn't that Mean Girls? And Paul from Friends is in it. Paul Rudd? Yeah, but that's not his name. His name is Mike in Friends.

I got that confused. Paul Rudd. Mike from Friends is in it. Isn't it like the Hollywood version of Dangerous Liaisons? Is that one? It's that story. They're half brother and sister. They're not half brother and sister. Yeah, it is. It's the Hollywood version of Dangerous Liaisons. Okay. It's great. She's great in it. You've got to watch Clueless. It's really good fun. I think I have seen that film. I think I have seen it. You know, I have to say having sun in some ways you are very deprived because you haven't seen Frozen. That's not okay. I've never seen Frozen, but you know what Nicole? Let it go.

Lauren, you know me and you know when it comes to answering the listener's dilemmas and when it comes to food, I always trust my gut. And I also trust Zoe, the leading size and nutrition company. All the nutritionists that we've spoken to on Self Care Club have highlighted just how much misleading information is out there when it comes to food. Things like the claims that you see on packaging that say things like low sugar or nothing artificial. These are often assigned to actually avoid these foods. Ever noticed a health claim on fresh fruit? No, never. Right, well you get my point.

So it's completely understandable why there's so much distrust and wondering who you should turn to for accurate information. Well it's very simple, it's not a dilemma for us, we use Zoe. Backed by one of the world's largest microbiome databases and most scientifically advanced at home gut health tests,E gives you proven science whenever you need it. Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE membership could do for you. And because you listen to Fortyish, you can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 at checkout to get 10% off membership.

As a ZOE member, you'll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. That's z-o-e dot com, use code four-zero-ish-ten at checkout. Trust your gut, trust Zoe. Are you crushing your bills? Defeating your monthly payments? Sounds like you're at the top of your financial game. Rise to it with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card, the credit card that rewards your good financial habits.

Earn points for paying your credit card bill in full and on time every month. Level up from bill payer to reward slayer. Terms and conditions apply. Playoff football is here with BetMGM and as an official sportsbook partner of the NFL, live. Right, what's annoying you this week? Oh my god, two things. One, the phrase, not the meaning behind, but just the phrase, Galentine's Day. Fuck off! Do Valentine's Day. Don't do it. Be married, be single, be in a situationship, be shagging the postman. I don't care. Don't

use the phrase, Galentine's Day. It's irksome. Okay. It is irksome, but why is it irksome? I don't know. But then I've been seeing on social media that people are doing Galentine's night. I'm going to have a Galentine's night. Just see your girlfriends. Amazing. Great. There's rarely an evening that's more fun. I'm going to invite you over for a Galentine's night.

You can invite me over for any kind of evening with women. Great. But just don't label it Galentine's. Please. It is sweet. There's a good intention behind it,entine's. But it's sweet, it is sweet. There's a good intention behind it by the way. It's so that single people don't have to feel shit about their marital status on one day of the year, which I completely agree with because it's completely ridiculous. I just said and it's not

about the intention. It's just the phrase. It's just the phrase. Okay. Other thing I cannot stand and this is a thing that comes around Valentine's Day. Adults who gift each other, gift other adults cuddly toys. It is, it gives me the biggest ick. Why? Why do you care? So infantile. Like if Ollie gave me a teddy or if I gave him a teddy because he was a man. Was that not what you were buying me for my birthday? Like if he was a middle-aged man who liked cuddly, I could, no, I once went out with a guy. Oh no, go on. And he had, um, let me get this right. I think it was, it was like China clowns.

Shut up! China clowns. No! He collected China clowns. No! Going back a long time, obviously. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Swear to God, any of my friends listening there

will remember exactly who it was. Was he a closeted gay man? And we really, really liked each other. Like really got on brilliantly well and it was all great. And then I went back to his or I went over to his one day and when I say there were China clowns, clowns, China clowns, not even dolls. When I say they were everywhere and I remember wanting to make myself a cup of tea, I opened the cupboard and there were, instead of like where you would find cups or plates, it was just China clowns.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Up in his bedroom on the windowsill was just like rows and rows. They were, he must have had a thousand China clowns in his house. Did you quiz him on the China clowns? I broke up with him because of the China clowns. I couldn't get past it. Who could? I couldn't. What is that? I bet he's still got them. Well, he obviously has a deep passion for them. It's, it's not a path. Yes. Weird, right? Yeah. Thank God you broke up with him. You know that guy in Sex and the City? Yes, when he goes back with the

dolls. The one from every country. It was like that. It was exactly like that. That's exactly what I was thinking of. But they were much smaller. Yeah, Stanford goes in with this perfect guy and he's got Mary, Queen of Scots, all the dolls on the bed. And they got in like a moment of passion and then he had to go get off the dolls. Like the dolls are more important than Stanford. No I'm sorry no it was like that. I'm really sorry for you that's hideous. It's okay I'm now with Adam and everything is fine. Adam would not collect China clowns. Adam also would not be a man who enjoys a teddy bear. No. No. Come on doesn't that give you the ick? I mean, I don't really care about it and I don't really think I would waste my energy in getting the ick about it.

But you get really icky about really weird things. I find it like, like we're not allowed to get mini eggs before it's like April. April. April. Why can't I just enjoy a mini egg whenever the fuck I want to enjoy it? Because they shouldn't be producing them when it's not Easter. They don't. They don't. They do. It starts in the new year. I think that's perfectly acceptable.

If I want to eat a mini egg, I will eat a mini egg. Okay? I'm a grown woman. I'm an adult and I don't need you making me feel bad about the fact that I want a fucking mini egg. I like them. I actually also really like a mini egg. But you get so humpety about it.

I do. Really, that is what I hate this week. It really bugs me. But I get humpety about mini eggs being released early in the year. And Christmas trees. Oh, fuck that. Christmas trees in October. It really bugs me.

Just like, let it go. Oh, people who put their trees up early. And then like, if I'm eating a mini egg, you're so like... No, I'm not. If you're eating a mini egg, I want one out the bag. I had a Malteser bunny. You were like, you shouldn't be eating that. It shouldn't be out yet. It's not Easter. They're not as nice. You know what? I like the mini. I like the bunny.

They only come out in their limited edition. They come out at a certain time of the year. You're fucking obsessed with the Malteser bunnies. I love a Malteser bunny. You're obsessed with them. Someone's written in with a confession to go into our, we listen and we don't judge section of the show. Oh, is that what we're calling it now? Have we settled on that? We listen and we don't judge.

Right. So we have to listen. And not judge. Try not to judge. Okay. Well, mine of the and not judge. I'm trying not to judge. Okay. Well, mine of the week is that I want to eat a Malteser bunny or a mini egg without your fucking judgment. That's not a confession though. No, it's a request. Okay. That's slightly different from this person. I'm just saying, is this something you can do? I'll really do my best

to watch you eat. I mean I think I really watch you eat Maltesers bunnies or mini eggs but if you do buy a packet please. But just don't make a comment about the fact that it's not Easter yet. Go on. I don't know if this is a man or woman it's a non they haven't sent their name, their age, their shoe size, they know nothing about them. All I know is that they're 44. I'm 44 in a job that requires a lot of evening work outings with clients and I just can't be asked with it anymore. Oh God, yeah. I've been sharing the news for months now that my cat Stanley has diabetes. I've had loads of sympathy and people ask after him all the time. Poor Stanley. What What a great name for a cat by the way.

It's a complete lie. He's perfectly healthy. Is he called Stanley? Who knows. He's a fluffy little bastard who scratches holes in my sofa, gets fur all over my clothes and does nothing but eat and sleep all day. But I've been milking this diabetic cat narrative so I can get out of social events. I tell people that I need to stay home to give him his insulin shot, but really I just want to leave when I get bored and binge watch Netflix without any judgement. The best part? Nobody ever questions it. They just nod and say poor thing and I smile in a slightly sad but stoic way.

I mean I'm not judging because I kind of love this person for this. I'm not judging. I'm actually not this week. Do you feel? Are you going to sit in judgement? I'm wondering why you would, why that's the lie. Well, remember we said last week, like don't tell like with the women with the non-dead mother, don't lie about death, illness, things like that. So maybe the cat, I mean he does, he, she does say the cat is real. You could just make up that you even have a cat. Who knows?

Who even checks? I wouldn't want to lie about Miley's health No, I know you wouldn't I know I know I agree Don't know because I don't really want to say this because I'm just gonna get like fucking hounded with hate mail But it's different when it's a dog Are you saying that dogs are more important than cats? Is that what you're saying? I mean, I'm not going to make that statement so that Becca can clip it and put it on social media. I'm just going to say it's not.

What's not the same to you? I've had both. I've had both. I'm always saying like a dog person. I've never owned cats. Hey, cats. Not true. I've owned dogs. I've owned cats. It's not the same. Okay. Okay. Listen, I think go you for getting out of something that you don't want to do. You know what I call that self care because we have a self care podcast. So I'm all for that. Yeah. I'm judging the lie a bit. I'm not, I'm not into lying about animals health. I actually think it's brilliant. Because no one's going to be like, Oh no, I'm not into lying about animals health. I actually think it's brilliant. Because no one's going to be like, oh no, I'm sorry, you've got to stay at this work. You're like,

I've got to go home and give Stanley the incident shot because he will die of diabetes if I don't do it. I know, I get it. Yeah. I think it's almost flawless because also, unlike this woman who went to the wedding and the mother-in-law is going to be there, if some rando comes back to the house and Stanley the cat's there, they're never going to be able to ask Stanley, are you diabetic Stanley? No, and also the cat will just look like a cat. Yeah, exactly. It's not like, oh, Stanley's got three legs.

Yes, Stanley's very diabetic looking. Look, I get it. It gets you out of a lot of uncomfortable situations. Yeah, he's genius. I just don't like the lying about animals' health. Oh, you're such an honest person. Get over it. What do you always say about me? I can only ever be myself. That's how I roll. So true. It's how I roll. I know. I know. I don't mind this. And I love the confession. And I'm not sitting in judgment of it. You're slightly judging. You are judging. I'm not slightly judging. I are judging. I'm not slightly judging. I am judging. Oh, you are judging. Okay. Okay.

I'm all right with that. Yeah. You know, listen, it's normally you. It's normally definitely me. Well done, anonymous person, for bringing something that Lauren can't judge. I could, I'm just choosing not to. Oh, now it's a choice.

Now it's a choice, not when it comes to my mini egg. Let's go home. I'm going to buy you a mini egg. That is our show on 40 Shelf Filtered. We'll be back on Thursday with a brand new episode of 40ish. If you want to subscribe to our Apple podcast, please do. We just come over to Apple, you will see it there. You get all of Self Care Club and all of 40ish early access and ad free plus bonus content. So please come and be part of our club.

We would love you to support our show and we'll be back on Thursday. Bye bye.