40ish - Unfiltered - Insomnia, Old Ladies and Sondheim
Episode Date: May 13, 2025Today on unfiltered: Nicole's perimenopause is her new personal alarm clock, gifting her the joys of 4am wake-up calls. Meanwhile, Lauren's still in deep denial of her own shifting hormones and is reb...randing shouting at strangers in the street as just advanced etiquette training. A listener ponders the meaning of life somewhere between 35 and death, and producer James wisely avoids any activity that involves Nicole and a padel racket. We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email hello@40ish.co.uk Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello everyone, welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Lauren Mishcon.
This is the show where we dish the feedback on last week's episode. Every Tuesday we dive
into your comments, your emails, your DMs and everything that's happening on social
media about the
latest 40ish dilemmas. And if you want more 40ish in your life and who doesn't? Because
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episodes and everything ad free.
Amazing. What's going on this week, Nicole Goodman. You now, you now pull a whole,
what is his name? Mark Wahlberg. You just get up in the middle of the night, basically,
don't you? It's your new thing. Yesterday, we recorded yesterday and I was on my knees,
wasn't I? Because I'd woken up at like 5.20, 5.15, I think it was.
And I was just on my knees
and I just could not get back to sleep.
And then last night, and I was moaning about,
if it's got a five in it, it's just obnoxious.
It's just not a good time.
It has to have at least a six.
Well, last night or this morning, I woke up at 4.20.
It's getting worse.
4.20.
And then I thought, wow, God, how much I would like
to wake up with a five at the beginning. But now it's a four. This isn't good because you
did have the phase where you every single morning you got up at 320 for a wee, but then
you went back to sleep. Straight back to sleep. And then you were like, this is so weird because
now it's 420. I'm like, it's not weird. It's because the clocks have gone forward.
It's exactly the same time.
You were like, oh yeah.
But now you're not waking up for the week
and going back to sleep.
You're waking up and you're staying awake.
Can't get back to sleep.
It's bad.
Apparently it's very menopausal.
Yes.
Very common and very menopausal.
So basically you're right.
My midlife meltdown, you're right,
is that I now have a new menopausal symptom. Who knew I could
even find new ones?
I mean, you have really run the gamut.
Even the doctor said to me, my God, you're having a rough time at this, aren't you? I'm
like, yes, I am. Yes, I am. Not only am I having every symptom known every single fucking
symptom, I think there's over 80. I think I've literally had all of them. Yeah.
You haven't had the tinnitus, which is funny
because that's one of the only ones I do have.
It's not one of the only ones you do have.
It's special though.
It's not one of the only ones you do have.
Are you still in denial about the fact
that you are symptomless?
Because you're not.
Yeah, I am in denial.
You're not symptomless.
Yes, I am in denial.
Yes.
Although I think the tinnitus is hangover from COVID. I don't think it's perimenopause. I'm in denial. Yes. Although I think the tinnitus is hangover from COVID. I think
it's perimenopause. I'm in denial about that.
What about your frozen shoulder? That's gone now.
What about your bad mood? What about your telling someone to go fuck himself? You wound
down the window.
Oh, that might be my midlife meltdown. Maybe. I think I tell that story.
It's a great story because listeners,
you tell me after this story whether or not
Lauren is still symptomless.
I'm driving Josh home from school.
We're passing through a residential area.
There is an elderly lady, very elderly,
and she has a shopper on wheels.
You know one of those little, what are they called?
Shoppers.
They're called shoppers.
And also yesterday, you couldn't remember the name ofpers. Shoppers. They're called shoppers. Okay.
And also yesterday, you couldn't remember the name of it.
No, I don't, I've never known the name of it.
It's not that I've forgotten.
I don't know what they're called.
Oh, because you're symptomless.
No, I don't know what they're called.
You know, okay, because you're symptomless.
I don't own one.
So it's not brain fog.
No, it's not.
You don't own one yet.
I'm actually surprised you don't own one.
Me too.
Anyway, carry on.
If I did own one, it would be leopard print, by the way.
Oh no, you can't do that.
Fuck yeah.
No, you cannot have a leopard print shopper.
You cannot.
Why?
Because that would be a meltdown all in itself.
You cannot.
Okay.
So there was an elderly lady with a shopper and she was crossing the road and she was
struggling terribly to get her shopper from the road up onto the pavement.
The curb was really difficult for her.
Meanwhile, there's some man who's all of 60 standing on the pavement just staring at her and I'm at the traffic
lights. I can't get out the car and help her but he also could have taken maybe
two or three steps forward, lifted her shopper for her, taken her by the other
help set. He just stood there and watched her struggle and I was getting angrier
and angrier and angrier and eventually this
poor lady did manage to hop it up on the curb and carry on walking and I wound my window down
and I screamed out the window at him you know you could have fucking helped her and then I drove
off. I was so cross about his lack of social awareness and general lack of kindness. What is
that? I don't even think
that is perimenopause. I just think that's being a horrible human being. But you're saying that
10 years ago I wouldn't have done that. I'm saying a year ago you wouldn't have done that.
Well I just watched him and not cared. I'm not suggesting you were wrong with getting upset
about it because obviously he was an asshole and he was completely wrong to let her struggle like
that. Obviously there is no way you would
have gotten yourself to such a point of crossness that you would have wound down your window
and then basically dropped the f-bomb on him in front of your son. There's no way.
I felt like I taught Josh a good lesson. Even if I dropped the f-bomb.
You help people.
I taught him to be kind. I mean, it's a little hidden.
I taught him to be kind by verbally abusing someone out of my car window.
You actually, yeah, all of the above. And now I'm going to ask the listeners, listeners,
do we still think that Lauren is symptomless with her perimenopause? Because I'm going
to go with no. Okay.
It just basically every day you're like, you know, because I just don't really have any
symptoms.
Okay.
You're having them all for you.
You're having them all for me.
I'm not having them all for you.
I'm just having them all for me because God's kind like that.
But you are definitely, definitely having some of your own.
Someone has got to, you know, be the experimenter in knowing
what it's all about. And it's clearly God's chosen you as one of his people. I actually do feel like
that. I actually do feel like that. I feel like the menopause was really, really rough on me because
I was like meant to be like a bit of a voice for the menopause. Well, here you are. So that I can help like my peers and you know, host a podcast on being faulty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe that's true.
I'm telling you, everything happens for a reason.
Anyway, just thank God for my gynecologist.
Just thank.
I know.
You know what?
Thank God for my gynecologist secretary.
Thank God.
That's all I can say.
She is the most patient, kindest
woman. I mean, she is practically, I mean, I might even invite her to my next birthday.
That is how much I'm in touch with this woman.
I want to go to some feedback. Okay. Amy has written in, she says, ladies, I'm all over
the Dossett box. I take six meds a day at 44 and I have already got a glam one to take
the bloody things. Glam one? Is it leopard print? She hasn't said, but I'd like a photo
of it please Amy. Also, please, in capital letters, consider a house coat for your merch
collection.
For those of us that want to don large earrings and drink martinis in the middle of the day,
muchas gracias.
Amy, firstly, I am embarrassed, ashamed and mortified that I didn't think of housecoat
merch myself because what a glaring mistake.
And secondly, I really feel like you and me could be friends. House
coat, large earrings, martinis in the middle of the day. Dosset box. She is my person.
She might be my new best friend. I'm sorry, but she's ticking all the boxes.
I'm still your new best friend. Do you want to back up here a bit?
She's ticking all the boxes for me here.
You're right, because I won't do the-
You won't do it. You do the large earrings.
Yeah, but I won't do the house coat won't do it. You do the large earrings.
Yeah, but I won't do the house coat with the martini in the middle of the day.
No, you won't.
I wouldn't even do it at eight o'clock at night.
You don't even need a Dosset box.
Well, I'm taking a lot of supplements at the moment.
I'm taking fucking nine a day now.
Are you?
Yeah. It's embarrassing how much water I need to drink to swallow them.
You don't need that much water for nine.
You're not taking them all in one go, are you? Of You chug nine. I was down in one go. Not all nine in my mouth
at the same time, but I'll do like three. That's what I mean. Yeah. Three, six, nine.
I thought you were shoving all of them in your mouth. Oh, they're big. They're like
horse pills. And what annoys me about taking them is we're taking the same ones. I take
the evening Primazol, which is a bigger. But what annoys me is how much water I need to drink to swallow them
because I don't like to drink the water. And now I'm forced to in the morning with all these
bloody pills. You could just do it with your coffee. No, I don't like that. Why? Weird.
Too hot. Well, wait till it's cooled down. Too cold. Sometimes Chug.
down. Sometimes Chuck. It's being a car. Is that on the menopausal list? Is it?
Because I reckon that I also suffer with that as well. You can. That was a real Karen moment. What you did in the car.
It wasn't. It wasn't. It was because I was fighting for social justice. Yeah, so it wasn't it wasn't
You know, I mean it was a bit of a car and also if I hadn't been a traffic light if I'd been parked or I'd
Seen her I'd been on the pavement
I would have just gone over and helped her myself obviously most people would have gone over to help this poor woman
And he I'm sure he learned a lesson
I'm sure he's a menopausal woman that screamed out and she's probably sitting there thinking
gosh you got a kid in the car.
I don't care what he's thinking because he was raised badly and behaves badly.
Not your kid.
He's no not my kid the man.
Dammy says ladies you are very very funny.
Oh thanks thanks.
I was just listening to the poll about rhubarb compote.
I am now married to a British man and he absolutely
hates it. I hate hot drinks and if I get a cold compote is the only thing I drink. She
drinks it. I use apple and pears. I think you call that fruit fruit juice. I add a bit
of sugar in two or three cloves and then I eat them. Yeah. And then I eat the mushy fruit
after isn't compote mushy fruit. I think she, I
don't know what's going on here. Also. She says on Thursday, I just bought my first pill
dosse box. That's a trend. When did we talk about dosse box last week? She's just something
going on. We're talking about like if we had much 40 ish merch, what would the merch be?
Like a dosse box is an obvious choice. I wouldn't have said that. You must have said that. I
definitely said I would have said like a mug or something. Mug surely at least
a water bottle. Oh yeah. Yeah. Come on now. A sandy cup. Come on. You know what? I'm feeling
very tired because I woke up at four 20. Did I, did I mention that I'm aware for 20 Yasmin,
she is in New Zealand. We, we have quite a few New Zealanders. How nice would it be
to do a tour in New Zealand? I'd love to go to New Zealand. It looks beautiful. It does.
I don't want to see Jackie from Married at First Sight Australia. Is she from New Zealand?
She sure is. That's why she says, yep. She seems to be all over our TikTok. Have you
noticed that? She's everywhere and I sort of wanted to block her, but also I can't stop
looking at her, but also I can't stand her. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, I do. You know, Yasmin says, Hi ladies.
I'm currently at work listening to the latest episode and watching you for the first time.
Oh, because we're on Spotify now on video. I just saw I can. Yeah, I'm in middle age,
she says. But it's not that you've only just seen it Yasmin. It's it is that it is new.
Yes. So you haven't missed it because you're middle aged. It actually is genuinely new.
Excuse me. I taught myself to video edit. Thank you very much. You're so cool. And I'm getting
much quicker at it now. You are so cool. Thank you. I am. It's very young. It's a very young
person thing to do. It is. Yeah, it is. It's knocked like at least four years off you,
knocked like at least four years off you. You know, in coolness. Has that a thing? Yeah, I've just made it up. Yasmin says, yes, I have headphones in. Thank God. I've just got
the picky bits part when Nicole says you can go and fuck yourself and then forgets what
she was going to say more than once. I couldn't help it. I snorted out loud. I was laughing
so hard. There was no way I could hide the fact that I was having a ball at my desk. I got some strange looks and laughter.
I casually smiled and said, sorry, I'm just listening to a podcast. I've listened to every
episode of both your podcasts and I love you both. Keep up the great work and all the laughs.
Love, Yasmin.
Thank you. Yeah. You listened to every single episode. God, that's a Lauren's done that.
That's a lot of content. My
husband's only listened to like half of one episode in six years. Oh, Adam doesn't listen
to any of them. He got asked at a party and I'll do you list. You love her podcast. You
just took a cast. He was like, um, well, um, I'm like, doesn't listen. All he actually
asked me the other day, what the format of this show was. I was like, you know, you could
out the blue. Yeah. I was like, you know, you could, well, I was, I was writing it and he was like, I was like,
you know, you could listen. He's like, what do you mean? There are dilemmas. Like that's,
that's the show. That's the show. Yeah. But how much do you ask about his work? I asked quite a
lot. I mean, I don't want all the legal details, but I do ask. I was at a party the other night
and some guy was telling me about this new podcast.
In fact, his wife told me, she said,
oh, he's got a new podcast, tell her about it.
He's like, I'm not telling her about it,
it's embarrassing, it's embarrassing.
All right, just tell me, he goes,
oh, it's barely a podcast, do me a favor,
I'm not talking to you about it.
I was like, just tell me about what the podcast is about.
He said, no, no.
I said, have you released episodes?
Yes, how many episodes?
25, I said, okay, so you have a podcast. What's it about?
He goes, it's about climate change and social change.
And we interview people that are, you know,
having a huge impact on the world.
And he starts giving me all these examples
of all the people they've interviewed.
And there's some women in India
that has basically changed the face of healthcare in India.
And are you feeling like more and more embarrassed?
I was just dreading the question of what's yours about?
And I said to him, oh, it's much, it's lighthearted because yeah, what's it about? I said,
well, last week we spoke about rhubarb.
Apparently we make people laugh anyway. And then I saw him because it was a whole weekend of parties
and I saw him at the next party and he said, oh, I listened. I said, did you? He's like,
oh, only for 10 minutes. He said, you, but you hadn't, I said, what are we talking about?
Because, oh, you hadn't really gotten into anything. I said, no, no, that's the show.
We haven't got a guest on talking about how to solve climate change or how to change the
healthcare in India. Spoiler alert.
It's mortifying. Oh, that's embarrassing.
But yeah, we are.
Yeah. Tonight.
Yeah. For three awards.
I know they're not social justice awards, just to be clear.
They're comedy awards. Yeah.
Yeah. They're comedy awards.
He couldn't go up for a comedy award.
He couldn't. You are right.
I did tell him to go in for the impact award at the British
podcast. Yeah, that would be much more suited. I mean, we could go in for the impact award.
I don't think we'd win it.
What are we going to talk about the gist necklace? That's a good that have an impact. The beautiful
gist necklace that you were presented with your anniversary.
And I was editing that show and then my daughter and my husband walked in the kitchen at that
very point. And then basically they were telling me about a video that Adam had sent to my
daughter and it was a really rude, stupid video. I can't even remember what it was about.
I said, Adam, I cannot believe you are sending a 16 year old those videos. He goes, uh, you're
talking about jizz necklaces on your
podcast. You're talking about me making you a necklace of my own semen for our anniversary
on your podcast. So shut up.
Alice has written in with a listener meltdown. I mean, I don't know if he meant it. I love these listeners. Oh, it's from a man. Yeah. I'm not sure if he meant it as a meltdown,
but it reads to me as one. Where did he write it in from? He I can't remember if he emailed it or he DMed it.
I think he emailed it into 40 ish.
Pretty sure.
Here it is.
I was watching clips.
You have to bear with.
Okay.
It's a bit of a convoluted story.
I was watching clips of Sondheim's company a play about a man going through some stuff on his 35th birthday as he's questioning everything
about his life.
I hate sometimes. I know that's a very controversial thing to say but do.
Okay.
My daughter and I argue about it all the time.
Okay.
I discovered this play when I had coincidentally just turned 35 and my life was in total upheaval.
I just now am finally getting my bearings and beginning a second leg of
my life. It's looking great all of a sudden, better than it's ever been for me.
Oh that's great, Ellis. I never would have believed it at age 35 because my life
seemed over and I had to re-evaluate everything. People think of a midlife
crisis as being a 40 year old or a 50 year old but statistically speaking 35
is probably a pretty good guess for half my life maybe a little early. Is 35 a good time for such a crisis? Is it inevitable? Will
I probably have another major one in my life anyway? When was your midlife crisis? Have
you completely avoided anything of the sort?
A lot of questions Ellis.
What's that got to do with sun time?
Because the play that he was watching company is about a 35 year old questioning his life
and he resonated with it.
Okay.
I mean that is a lot of questions, Ellis.
I start with the first one and we'll answer them together.
Firstly what was the first one?
Statistically speaking 35 is probably a pretty good guess for half my life maybe a little
early. Definitely too early. That's not for half my life maybe a little early.
Definitely too early. You put a question mark.
Okay is a question.
It's too early.
Way too early. You don't want to you want to go later than 70.
I did look up average age of a man in the UK 82.
Okay.
So yeah.
41 you've got six more years.
Too early yes. Is 35 a good time for a crisis? I don't know if there's ever
a good time for a crisis. There's no good time for a crisis. You asked me yesterday if I thought
you were having a crisis. Yeah. A midlife crisis. Yeah. Do you think I'm having one?
I think there is potential. What fun. Yeah. It could go either way. But being my most stable friend, you're actually
not allowed. It's also really off-brand for me. That's why you're not allowed. Okay. Is
it inevitable? He asks. No. Well, I would say no for him. But also as a man, he's not
going to go through menopause, is he? So you don't need to
go through, you don't need to, you don't just go through a crisis when you go through the menopause.
You don't. But what I'm saying is he's never going to have puberty backwards and massive hormonal
shift happen in his life at around 50 because he's a man. So you can still have a midlife crisis. Of course he
can but I'm saying menopause is inevitable and with it comes change. Oh fucking hell
does it. So he will avoid that. Will I probably have another major one in my life anyway?
Who's to say Alice? We all could. We all could have. Who knows?
I think this is more of a dilemma.
I feel like it's a crisis in a question.
You know what? Yeah.
When was your midlife crisis? He asks. Well, I haven't had one so far. Am I about to have one? Maybe potentially, Nicole says.
Yes. Yes. You've had one.
God, yes. Okay.
I was about 38.
That's very early. Till I was about
41. Quite lengthy. They are. They tend to be. Takes a long time to get into it and then
get out of it. I didn't know you then. We wouldn't have been friends. I'm glad that
I met you the other side of your midlife crisis. I wasn't in my best self. I really wasn't.
Okay. I'm sorry, but also glad I met you the other side of that. Me too. I wasn't in my best self. I really wasn't. Okay. I'm sorry,
but also glad I met you the other side of that. Me too. Yeah. Well, we wouldn't have
been attracted to each other. Oh, you know, you know, I know what you mean. Well, you
might have been attracted to me. I might have done that. Might have been part of a crisis.
It wasn't a lesbian crisis. Just to be clear, it wasn't a lesbian crisis. Okay. Uh, have
you completely avoided anything of the sort? Well, yes, so far I have. But who's to say what the future
may hold Ellis? I could have one next week. I could have one tonight. Oh, don't have one
tonight. The awards show tonight. Okay. Winners, not losers, but winners. Even if we lose,
I won't have one tonight. I'll save it. Don't have it if we win either. No, I won't. I have no
intention of having a midlife crisis tonight. James, can I just say, maybe he's having a
bit of a crisis because he walked in with some wayfarers on his face that are cameras.
What the fuck? They're cameras. He goes, are they claiming just in time for tonight? I'm like,
why have you got cameras on your face? I went really like immediately dark with those. Like my mind. You did. You
said you could be having sex with someone and not tell them and filming them and they
wouldn't be very much. He has been married for many, many years. I don't think he would.
I'm saying he would. I'm just saying he wouldn't. One could a man could or a woman. A woman
could one could wear those glasses and
he's I would everyone would know that they've got cameras in them I only know
you would because you're into gadgets can I just say I would never know they
had cameras and it would never occur to me they wouldn't even think about a pair
of raybans with cameras in raybans with cameras in who even knew that existed
until today no they existed because he knows stuff. He's got his finger in the pie of tech. How
did he know? How did that come up on his algorithm? Probably. He might have been hoping he might
have been waiting for them to be invented. And then he started saying, can you hear this?
Can you hear this? It's like what can you hear? You can play music through it. You can
ask it. Hey meta. Oh no, I mustn't start saying because it would be like the hey Siri thing
all over again. But you can say, Hey Metta, tell me the tallest building
in the world. He said it three times and it didn't. So I, Hey Siri, it doesn't fucking
work. It does work. Hey Siri. No, stop. All our listeners. Sorry. So what happened to
them last time? I'm just saying I don't like this whole concept of the cameras in the glasses. It feels very spyware. It is spyware. It feels very like a Disney kids film set in the future
where they all wear camera glasses. James, how did you find out about the camera wayfarers?
He also can I just give you... He's still wearing them. Can I just get... He's still
wearing them. Did they hit your algorithm or have you been waiting for them to be invented or like what's the deal? How did you find out about them? A friend
of mine bought them but we're still recording. Yeah we are still recording. A friend of his
bought them. Can I just give you an update on James and Paddle? He still refuses to play
with me. I keep saying this to you he's never gonna play Paddle with you. Get over it. I
don't know why I am really. He doesn't want to
merge the worlds. You're in his podcast world. Let him have his paddle world. Oh, he said I could be
in his paddle world. Oh, you'll get there. How am I gonna know when I'm there? Because I already know
because of what you told me. Oh, because I got that shot. Yeah, but I got the shot. The first time
ever. Yeah. Well done. I'm really impressed. I'd only started doing it a week ago.
Do you do them a lot though, Shots? Oh, whatever, James.
It's about half the game.
Okay, James isn't ready to let you into Paddle World until you're very good at Paddle.
But you told me I'm allowed to play with his wife. I'm like, I want to play with you, James.
Yeah.
I said, well, can the four of us play? He's like, no, I mean, he is literally like,
it's like Mission Impossible. That's okay. That's okay. It's something to aim towards.
I don't know why it's not okay, but it just isn't. It's something to aim towards.
It's a goal. It's something to strive for. Yeah. Okay. Give you something to live for.
Imagine if we then play paddle and I whoop his ass? I don't want to come into the studio that day if that happens.
Do you know what? I actually don't even want to whoop his ass.
You just want to play with him.
I do.
I don't know why.
It's because he won't let me.
Yeah, that's exactly why.
It's like when you're not really that interested in a boy,
but then when you find out that he's not interested in you,
then suddenly actually you're quite interested.
It's exactly that.
Yeah. Or it's like when you've out that he's not interested in you, then suddenly actually you're quite interested. It's exactly that. Yeah.
Or it's like when you've really, really, really been eyeing up this pair of shoes and then
you realize that you don't actually really like that much.
You don't want them, but then you look at them again and they haven't got them in your
size and then suddenly you're obsessed with them.
That's actually happened to you recently with the loafers.
It did happen to me with the loafers, but that was just a sorry sad tale in the end.
It was because you had to take them back.
And now I saw them the other day when I was in M&S and I was like, oh, they're horrible.
Why are you always in M&S?
You're always in M&S.
I am in that a lot.
A lot.
Maybe I work there part time and I just don't tell you.
I work there part time and just don't tell you.
Can I tell you that online cyber crash hack thing has really affected my life. Why?
Because you have to change your password.
No, they haven't asked consumers to change their passwords and this is another problem.
They've advised them to though.
Oh, when I was listening on the bank holiday Monday to the news, they asked that very question,
should they be changing their passwords?
And they were like, well, they haven't asked anyone yet.
So my cousin works in cyber security. Yeah. And most like any sort of big crash that happens
usually falls on his company. So I said to him, what's happened with M&S? Yes. And he was like,
they're not our client anymore. Thank God. Yeah. I bet he's so relieved. But do you like the way
the hackers have gone high, mid and low brow? They've hacked the co-op M and S and Harrods. Yes. So weird. Low, medium,
highbrow. That's what they've done. But I'll tell you why it's really affecting my life because you
know, the Memorial bench. Well, I found a lovely, you've got to stop calling it the Memorial bench.
It's just a bench. It's just a garden bench. The pre-memorial bench. No, the garden bench. The garden bench is bare.
I found a really nice bench cushion and some other cushions for it. They're on M&S.
I can't order them because they've paused their online orders.
It's really... Have they? Yes. For two weeks. Can I just say, I don't think I can listen to the bench anymore.
Okay?
Okay?
So now the dressing of the bench and the carrying of the bench and the throwing over the shoulder
of the bench.
Listen, when I invite you for a nice cocktail.
And you know what?
I'm going to sit on the bench and I'm going to be like, okay, it's a bench.
And I like the cushions that you finally managed to get after 18 weeks.
You're going to be so happy.
Why am I gonna be happy?
Because we're gonna have a lovely chat on the bench.
You very, very rarely bore me.
You very, it is so, so rare.
I'm gonna say it.
I am bored talking about the bench.
I'm sorry.
I know it makes, oh, I feel bad now.
I know it makes you happy,
but I just don't care about your bench. I don. I know it makes you happy, but I just don't. I just don't care
about your bench. I don't have any feelings about your bench, about the cushions on the
bench, about the M&S cushions. And I just, I don't, I don't care. It makes me feel old
listening to you and this fucking bench. Okay. Just stop it now consider your invitation revoked. I'm going to invite my new friend Amy. She's
going to come in a house coat with a body branded. I'm going to make her a martini and
Amy and I will enjoy the Memorial bench. Amy you're welcome anytime. It calls out out Amy.
out Amy you are in there okay with this bench that's it you go and play paddle Amy and I will enjoy who's winning the midlife meltdown this week? Ellis with his massive existential crisis?
Me? Or you?
I think you verbally abusing a stranger, even though he did deserve it.
He deserved it.
Yeah, but you can't verbally abuse strangers and drop the f-bomb on them. You just can't.
Apparently I did.
You've got that. It's such a midlife meltdown. It is like the epitome. It's the quintessential
midlife meltdown. But I don't feel like it was a meltdown. I felt like it was the right thing to
do. Hence why it is the absolute epitome of the perimenopause. You my darling are the winner. Sorry Ellis.
We are going to be back on Thursday with a new main show, 40ish. Please keep your emails and your feedback coming in. Hello at 40ish.co.uk or you can DM us at Instagram at 40ish.podcast. We absolutely love hearing from you and we'll be back on
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Welcome to Suddenly Single, the podcast where we dive deep into the wild world of love,
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