40ish - Unfiltered - Insomnia, Old Ladies and Sondheim

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

Today on unfiltered: Nicole's perimenopause is her new personal alarm clock, gifting her the joys of 4am wake-up calls. Meanwhile, Lauren's still in deep denial of her own shifting hormones and is reb...randing shouting at strangers in the street as just advanced etiquette training. A listener ponders the meaning of life somewhere between 35 and death, and producer James wisely avoids any activity that involves Nicole and a padel racket. We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email hello@40ish.co.uk Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everyone, welcome to 40ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Lauren Mishcon. This is the show where we dish the feedback on last week's episode. Every Tuesday we dive into your comments, your emails, your DMs and everything that's happening on social media about the latest 40ish dilemmas. And if you want more 40ish in your life and who doesn't? Because doesn't everyone? You can follow and subscribe. And also don't forget about our Apple podcast subscription where you get early access, bonus episodes and everything ad free.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Amazing. What's going on this week, Nicole Goodman. You now, you now pull a whole, what is his name? Mark Wahlberg. You just get up in the middle of the night, basically, don't you? It's your new thing. Yesterday, we recorded yesterday and I was on my knees, wasn't I? Because I'd woken up at like 5.20, 5.15, I think it was. And I was just on my knees and I just could not get back to sleep. And then last night, and I was moaning about, if it's got a five in it, it's just obnoxious.
Starting point is 00:01:13 It's just not a good time. It has to have at least a six. Well, last night or this morning, I woke up at 4.20. It's getting worse. 4.20. And then I thought, wow, God, how much I would like to wake up with a five at the beginning. But now it's a four. This isn't good because you did have the phase where you every single morning you got up at 320 for a wee, but then
Starting point is 00:01:38 you went back to sleep. Straight back to sleep. And then you were like, this is so weird because now it's 420. I'm like, it's not weird. It's because the clocks have gone forward. It's exactly the same time. You were like, oh yeah. But now you're not waking up for the week and going back to sleep. You're waking up and you're staying awake. Can't get back to sleep.
Starting point is 00:01:52 It's bad. Apparently it's very menopausal. Yes. Very common and very menopausal. So basically you're right. My midlife meltdown, you're right, is that I now have a new menopausal symptom. Who knew I could even find new ones?
Starting point is 00:02:08 I mean, you have really run the gamut. Even the doctor said to me, my God, you're having a rough time at this, aren't you? I'm like, yes, I am. Yes, I am. Not only am I having every symptom known every single fucking symptom, I think there's over 80. I think I've literally had all of them. Yeah. You haven't had the tinnitus, which is funny because that's one of the only ones I do have. It's not one of the only ones you do have. It's special though.
Starting point is 00:02:32 It's not one of the only ones you do have. Are you still in denial about the fact that you are symptomless? Because you're not. Yeah, I am in denial. You're not symptomless. Yes, I am in denial. Yes.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Although I think the tinnitus is hangover from COVID. I don't think it's perimenopause. I'm in denial. Yes. Although I think the tinnitus is hangover from COVID. I think it's perimenopause. I'm in denial about that. What about your frozen shoulder? That's gone now. What about your bad mood? What about your telling someone to go fuck himself? You wound down the window. Oh, that might be my midlife meltdown. Maybe. I think I tell that story. It's a great story because listeners, you tell me after this story whether or not
Starting point is 00:03:09 Lauren is still symptomless. I'm driving Josh home from school. We're passing through a residential area. There is an elderly lady, very elderly, and she has a shopper on wheels. You know one of those little, what are they called? Shoppers. They're called shoppers.
Starting point is 00:03:24 And also yesterday, you couldn't remember the name ofpers. Shoppers. They're called shoppers. Okay. And also yesterday, you couldn't remember the name of it. No, I don't, I've never known the name of it. It's not that I've forgotten. I don't know what they're called. Oh, because you're symptomless. No, I don't know what they're called. You know, okay, because you're symptomless.
Starting point is 00:03:33 I don't own one. So it's not brain fog. No, it's not. You don't own one yet. I'm actually surprised you don't own one. Me too. Anyway, carry on. If I did own one, it would be leopard print, by the way.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Oh no, you can't do that. Fuck yeah. No, you cannot have a leopard print shopper. You cannot. Why? Because that would be a meltdown all in itself. You cannot. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:51 So there was an elderly lady with a shopper and she was crossing the road and she was struggling terribly to get her shopper from the road up onto the pavement. The curb was really difficult for her. Meanwhile, there's some man who's all of 60 standing on the pavement just staring at her and I'm at the traffic lights. I can't get out the car and help her but he also could have taken maybe two or three steps forward, lifted her shopper for her, taken her by the other help set. He just stood there and watched her struggle and I was getting angrier and angrier and angrier and eventually this
Starting point is 00:04:25 poor lady did manage to hop it up on the curb and carry on walking and I wound my window down and I screamed out the window at him you know you could have fucking helped her and then I drove off. I was so cross about his lack of social awareness and general lack of kindness. What is that? I don't even think that is perimenopause. I just think that's being a horrible human being. But you're saying that 10 years ago I wouldn't have done that. I'm saying a year ago you wouldn't have done that. Well I just watched him and not cared. I'm not suggesting you were wrong with getting upset about it because obviously he was an asshole and he was completely wrong to let her struggle like
Starting point is 00:05:02 that. Obviously there is no way you would have gotten yourself to such a point of crossness that you would have wound down your window and then basically dropped the f-bomb on him in front of your son. There's no way. I felt like I taught Josh a good lesson. Even if I dropped the f-bomb. You help people. I taught him to be kind. I mean, it's a little hidden. I taught him to be kind by verbally abusing someone out of my car window. You actually, yeah, all of the above. And now I'm going to ask the listeners, listeners,
Starting point is 00:05:38 do we still think that Lauren is symptomless with her perimenopause? Because I'm going to go with no. Okay. It just basically every day you're like, you know, because I just don't really have any symptoms. Okay. You're having them all for you. You're having them all for me. I'm not having them all for you.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I'm just having them all for me because God's kind like that. But you are definitely, definitely having some of your own. Someone has got to, you know, be the experimenter in knowing what it's all about. And it's clearly God's chosen you as one of his people. I actually do feel like that. I actually do feel like that. I feel like the menopause was really, really rough on me because I was like meant to be like a bit of a voice for the menopause. Well, here you are. So that I can help like my peers and you know, host a podcast on being faulty. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Maybe that's true. I'm telling you, everything happens for a reason. Anyway, just thank God for my gynecologist. Just thank. I know. You know what? Thank God for my gynecologist secretary. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:06:42 That's all I can say. She is the most patient, kindest woman. I mean, she is practically, I mean, I might even invite her to my next birthday. That is how much I'm in touch with this woman. I want to go to some feedback. Okay. Amy has written in, she says, ladies, I'm all over the Dossett box. I take six meds a day at 44 and I have already got a glam one to take the bloody things. Glam one? Is it leopard print? She hasn't said, but I'd like a photo of it please Amy. Also, please, in capital letters, consider a house coat for your merch
Starting point is 00:07:24 collection. For those of us that want to don large earrings and drink martinis in the middle of the day, muchas gracias. Amy, firstly, I am embarrassed, ashamed and mortified that I didn't think of housecoat merch myself because what a glaring mistake. And secondly, I really feel like you and me could be friends. House coat, large earrings, martinis in the middle of the day. Dosset box. She is my person. She might be my new best friend. I'm sorry, but she's ticking all the boxes.
Starting point is 00:07:57 I'm still your new best friend. Do you want to back up here a bit? She's ticking all the boxes for me here. You're right, because I won't do the- You won't do it. You do the large earrings. Yeah, but I won't do the house coat won't do it. You do the large earrings. Yeah, but I won't do the house coat with the martini in the middle of the day. No, you won't. I wouldn't even do it at eight o'clock at night.
Starting point is 00:08:10 You don't even need a Dosset box. Well, I'm taking a lot of supplements at the moment. I'm taking fucking nine a day now. Are you? Yeah. It's embarrassing how much water I need to drink to swallow them. You don't need that much water for nine. You're not taking them all in one go, are you? Of You chug nine. I was down in one go. Not all nine in my mouth at the same time, but I'll do like three. That's what I mean. Yeah. Three, six, nine.
Starting point is 00:08:34 I thought you were shoving all of them in your mouth. Oh, they're big. They're like horse pills. And what annoys me about taking them is we're taking the same ones. I take the evening Primazol, which is a bigger. But what annoys me is how much water I need to drink to swallow them because I don't like to drink the water. And now I'm forced to in the morning with all these bloody pills. You could just do it with your coffee. No, I don't like that. Why? Weird. Too hot. Well, wait till it's cooled down. Too cold. Sometimes Chug. down. Sometimes Chuck. It's being a car. Is that on the menopausal list? Is it? Because I reckon that I also suffer with that as well. You can. That was a real Karen moment. What you did in the car.
Starting point is 00:09:20 It wasn't. It wasn't. It was because I was fighting for social justice. Yeah, so it wasn't it wasn't You know, I mean it was a bit of a car and also if I hadn't been a traffic light if I'd been parked or I'd Seen her I'd been on the pavement I would have just gone over and helped her myself obviously most people would have gone over to help this poor woman And he I'm sure he learned a lesson I'm sure he's a menopausal woman that screamed out and she's probably sitting there thinking gosh you got a kid in the car. I don't care what he's thinking because he was raised badly and behaves badly.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Not your kid. He's no not my kid the man. Dammy says ladies you are very very funny. Oh thanks thanks. I was just listening to the poll about rhubarb compote. I am now married to a British man and he absolutely hates it. I hate hot drinks and if I get a cold compote is the only thing I drink. She drinks it. I use apple and pears. I think you call that fruit fruit juice. I add a bit
Starting point is 00:10:17 of sugar in two or three cloves and then I eat them. Yeah. And then I eat the mushy fruit after isn't compote mushy fruit. I think she, I don't know what's going on here. Also. She says on Thursday, I just bought my first pill dosse box. That's a trend. When did we talk about dosse box last week? She's just something going on. We're talking about like if we had much 40 ish merch, what would the merch be? Like a dosse box is an obvious choice. I wouldn't have said that. You must have said that. I definitely said I would have said like a mug or something. Mug surely at least a water bottle. Oh yeah. Yeah. Come on now. A sandy cup. Come on. You know what? I'm feeling
Starting point is 00:10:54 very tired because I woke up at four 20. Did I, did I mention that I'm aware for 20 Yasmin, she is in New Zealand. We, we have quite a few New Zealanders. How nice would it be to do a tour in New Zealand? I'd love to go to New Zealand. It looks beautiful. It does. I don't want to see Jackie from Married at First Sight Australia. Is she from New Zealand? She sure is. That's why she says, yep. She seems to be all over our TikTok. Have you noticed that? She's everywhere and I sort of wanted to block her, but also I can't stop looking at her, but also I can't stand her. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, I do. You know, Yasmin says, Hi ladies. I'm currently at work listening to the latest episode and watching you for the first time.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Oh, because we're on Spotify now on video. I just saw I can. Yeah, I'm in middle age, she says. But it's not that you've only just seen it Yasmin. It's it is that it is new. Yes. So you haven't missed it because you're middle aged. It actually is genuinely new. Excuse me. I taught myself to video edit. Thank you very much. You're so cool. And I'm getting much quicker at it now. You are so cool. Thank you. I am. It's very young. It's a very young person thing to do. It is. Yeah, it is. It's knocked like at least four years off you, knocked like at least four years off you. You know, in coolness. Has that a thing? Yeah, I've just made it up. Yasmin says, yes, I have headphones in. Thank God. I've just got the picky bits part when Nicole says you can go and fuck yourself and then forgets what
Starting point is 00:12:17 she was going to say more than once. I couldn't help it. I snorted out loud. I was laughing so hard. There was no way I could hide the fact that I was having a ball at my desk. I got some strange looks and laughter. I casually smiled and said, sorry, I'm just listening to a podcast. I've listened to every episode of both your podcasts and I love you both. Keep up the great work and all the laughs. Love, Yasmin. Thank you. Yeah. You listened to every single episode. God, that's a Lauren's done that. That's a lot of content. My husband's only listened to like half of one episode in six years. Oh, Adam doesn't listen
Starting point is 00:12:50 to any of them. He got asked at a party and I'll do you list. You love her podcast. You just took a cast. He was like, um, well, um, I'm like, doesn't listen. All he actually asked me the other day, what the format of this show was. I was like, you know, you could out the blue. Yeah. I was like, you know, you could, well, I was, I was writing it and he was like, I was like, you know, you could listen. He's like, what do you mean? There are dilemmas. Like that's, that's the show. That's the show. Yeah. But how much do you ask about his work? I asked quite a lot. I mean, I don't want all the legal details, but I do ask. I was at a party the other night and some guy was telling me about this new podcast.
Starting point is 00:13:26 In fact, his wife told me, she said, oh, he's got a new podcast, tell her about it. He's like, I'm not telling her about it, it's embarrassing, it's embarrassing. All right, just tell me, he goes, oh, it's barely a podcast, do me a favor, I'm not talking to you about it. I was like, just tell me about what the podcast is about.
Starting point is 00:13:38 He said, no, no. I said, have you released episodes? Yes, how many episodes? 25, I said, okay, so you have a podcast. What's it about? He goes, it's about climate change and social change. And we interview people that are, you know, having a huge impact on the world. And he starts giving me all these examples
Starting point is 00:13:54 of all the people they've interviewed. And there's some women in India that has basically changed the face of healthcare in India. And are you feeling like more and more embarrassed? I was just dreading the question of what's yours about? And I said to him, oh, it's much, it's lighthearted because yeah, what's it about? I said, well, last week we spoke about rhubarb. Apparently we make people laugh anyway. And then I saw him because it was a whole weekend of parties
Starting point is 00:14:24 and I saw him at the next party and he said, oh, I listened. I said, did you? He's like, oh, only for 10 minutes. He said, you, but you hadn't, I said, what are we talking about? Because, oh, you hadn't really gotten into anything. I said, no, no, that's the show. We haven't got a guest on talking about how to solve climate change or how to change the healthcare in India. Spoiler alert. It's mortifying. Oh, that's embarrassing. But yeah, we are. Yeah. Tonight.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Yeah. For three awards. I know they're not social justice awards, just to be clear. They're comedy awards. Yeah. Yeah. They're comedy awards. He couldn't go up for a comedy award. He couldn't. You are right. I did tell him to go in for the impact award at the British podcast. Yeah, that would be much more suited. I mean, we could go in for the impact award.
Starting point is 00:15:11 I don't think we'd win it. What are we going to talk about the gist necklace? That's a good that have an impact. The beautiful gist necklace that you were presented with your anniversary. And I was editing that show and then my daughter and my husband walked in the kitchen at that very point. And then basically they were telling me about a video that Adam had sent to my daughter and it was a really rude, stupid video. I can't even remember what it was about. I said, Adam, I cannot believe you are sending a 16 year old those videos. He goes, uh, you're talking about jizz necklaces on your
Starting point is 00:15:46 podcast. You're talking about me making you a necklace of my own semen for our anniversary on your podcast. So shut up. Alice has written in with a listener meltdown. I mean, I don't know if he meant it. I love these listeners. Oh, it's from a man. Yeah. I'm not sure if he meant it as a meltdown, but it reads to me as one. Where did he write it in from? He I can't remember if he emailed it or he DMed it. I think he emailed it into 40 ish. Pretty sure. Here it is. I was watching clips.
Starting point is 00:16:32 You have to bear with. Okay. It's a bit of a convoluted story. I was watching clips of Sondheim's company a play about a man going through some stuff on his 35th birthday as he's questioning everything about his life. I hate sometimes. I know that's a very controversial thing to say but do. Okay. My daughter and I argue about it all the time.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Okay. I discovered this play when I had coincidentally just turned 35 and my life was in total upheaval. I just now am finally getting my bearings and beginning a second leg of my life. It's looking great all of a sudden, better than it's ever been for me. Oh that's great, Ellis. I never would have believed it at age 35 because my life seemed over and I had to re-evaluate everything. People think of a midlife crisis as being a 40 year old or a 50 year old but statistically speaking 35 is probably a pretty good guess for half my life maybe a little early. Is 35 a good time for such a crisis? Is it inevitable? Will
Starting point is 00:17:30 I probably have another major one in my life anyway? When was your midlife crisis? Have you completely avoided anything of the sort? A lot of questions Ellis. What's that got to do with sun time? Because the play that he was watching company is about a 35 year old questioning his life and he resonated with it. Okay. I mean that is a lot of questions, Ellis.
Starting point is 00:17:53 I start with the first one and we'll answer them together. Firstly what was the first one? Statistically speaking 35 is probably a pretty good guess for half my life maybe a little early. Definitely too early. That's not for half my life maybe a little early. Definitely too early. You put a question mark. Okay is a question. It's too early. Way too early. You don't want to you want to go later than 70.
Starting point is 00:18:13 I did look up average age of a man in the UK 82. Okay. So yeah. 41 you've got six more years. Too early yes. Is 35 a good time for a crisis? I don't know if there's ever a good time for a crisis. There's no good time for a crisis. You asked me yesterday if I thought you were having a crisis. Yeah. A midlife crisis. Yeah. Do you think I'm having one? I think there is potential. What fun. Yeah. It could go either way. But being my most stable friend, you're actually
Starting point is 00:18:48 not allowed. It's also really off-brand for me. That's why you're not allowed. Okay. Is it inevitable? He asks. No. Well, I would say no for him. But also as a man, he's not going to go through menopause, is he? So you don't need to go through, you don't need to, you don't just go through a crisis when you go through the menopause. You don't. But what I'm saying is he's never going to have puberty backwards and massive hormonal shift happen in his life at around 50 because he's a man. So you can still have a midlife crisis. Of course he can but I'm saying menopause is inevitable and with it comes change. Oh fucking hell does it. So he will avoid that. Will I probably have another major one in my life anyway?
Starting point is 00:19:39 Who's to say Alice? We all could. We all could have. Who knows? I think this is more of a dilemma. I feel like it's a crisis in a question. You know what? Yeah. When was your midlife crisis? He asks. Well, I haven't had one so far. Am I about to have one? Maybe potentially, Nicole says. Yes. Yes. You've had one. God, yes. Okay. I was about 38.
Starting point is 00:20:04 That's very early. Till I was about 41. Quite lengthy. They are. They tend to be. Takes a long time to get into it and then get out of it. I didn't know you then. We wouldn't have been friends. I'm glad that I met you the other side of your midlife crisis. I wasn't in my best self. I really wasn't. Okay. I'm sorry, but also glad I met you the other side of that. Me too. I wasn't in my best self. I really wasn't. Okay. I'm sorry, but also glad I met you the other side of that. Me too. Yeah. Well, we wouldn't have been attracted to each other. Oh, you know, you know, I know what you mean. Well, you might have been attracted to me. I might have done that. Might have been part of a crisis.
Starting point is 00:20:39 It wasn't a lesbian crisis. Just to be clear, it wasn't a lesbian crisis. Okay. Uh, have you completely avoided anything of the sort? Well, yes, so far I have. But who's to say what the future may hold Ellis? I could have one next week. I could have one tonight. Oh, don't have one tonight. The awards show tonight. Okay. Winners, not losers, but winners. Even if we lose, I won't have one tonight. I'll save it. Don't have it if we win either. No, I won't. I have no intention of having a midlife crisis tonight. James, can I just say, maybe he's having a bit of a crisis because he walked in with some wayfarers on his face that are cameras. What the fuck? They're cameras. He goes, are they claiming just in time for tonight? I'm like,
Starting point is 00:21:22 why have you got cameras on your face? I went really like immediately dark with those. Like my mind. You did. You said you could be having sex with someone and not tell them and filming them and they wouldn't be very much. He has been married for many, many years. I don't think he would. I'm saying he would. I'm just saying he wouldn't. One could a man could or a woman. A woman could one could wear those glasses and he's I would everyone would know that they've got cameras in them I only know you would because you're into gadgets can I just say I would never know they had cameras and it would never occur to me they wouldn't even think about a pair
Starting point is 00:21:55 of raybans with cameras in raybans with cameras in who even knew that existed until today no they existed because he knows stuff. He's got his finger in the pie of tech. How did he know? How did that come up on his algorithm? Probably. He might have been hoping he might have been waiting for them to be invented. And then he started saying, can you hear this? Can you hear this? It's like what can you hear? You can play music through it. You can ask it. Hey meta. Oh no, I mustn't start saying because it would be like the hey Siri thing all over again. But you can say, Hey Metta, tell me the tallest building in the world. He said it three times and it didn't. So I, Hey Siri, it doesn't fucking
Starting point is 00:22:33 work. It does work. Hey Siri. No, stop. All our listeners. Sorry. So what happened to them last time? I'm just saying I don't like this whole concept of the cameras in the glasses. It feels very spyware. It is spyware. It feels very like a Disney kids film set in the future where they all wear camera glasses. James, how did you find out about the camera wayfarers? He also can I just give you... He's still wearing them. Can I just get... He's still wearing them. Did they hit your algorithm or have you been waiting for them to be invented or like what's the deal? How did you find out about them? A friend of mine bought them but we're still recording. Yeah we are still recording. A friend of his bought them. Can I just give you an update on James and Paddle? He still refuses to play with me. I keep saying this to you he's never gonna play Paddle with you. Get over it. I
Starting point is 00:23:22 don't know why I am really. He doesn't want to merge the worlds. You're in his podcast world. Let him have his paddle world. Oh, he said I could be in his paddle world. Oh, you'll get there. How am I gonna know when I'm there? Because I already know because of what you told me. Oh, because I got that shot. Yeah, but I got the shot. The first time ever. Yeah. Well done. I'm really impressed. I'd only started doing it a week ago. Do you do them a lot though, Shots? Oh, whatever, James. It's about half the game. Okay, James isn't ready to let you into Paddle World until you're very good at Paddle.
Starting point is 00:24:00 But you told me I'm allowed to play with his wife. I'm like, I want to play with you, James. Yeah. I said, well, can the four of us play? He's like, no, I mean, he is literally like, it's like Mission Impossible. That's okay. That's okay. It's something to aim towards. I don't know why it's not okay, but it just isn't. It's something to aim towards. It's a goal. It's something to strive for. Yeah. Okay. Give you something to live for. Imagine if we then play paddle and I whoop his ass? I don't want to come into the studio that day if that happens. Do you know what? I actually don't even want to whoop his ass.
Starting point is 00:24:29 You just want to play with him. I do. I don't know why. It's because he won't let me. Yeah, that's exactly why. It's like when you're not really that interested in a boy, but then when you find out that he's not interested in you, then suddenly actually you're quite interested.
Starting point is 00:24:43 It's exactly that. Yeah. Or it's like when you've out that he's not interested in you, then suddenly actually you're quite interested. It's exactly that. Yeah. Or it's like when you've really, really, really been eyeing up this pair of shoes and then you realize that you don't actually really like that much. You don't want them, but then you look at them again and they haven't got them in your size and then suddenly you're obsessed with them. That's actually happened to you recently with the loafers. It did happen to me with the loafers, but that was just a sorry sad tale in the end.
Starting point is 00:25:03 It was because you had to take them back. And now I saw them the other day when I was in M&S and I was like, oh, they're horrible. Why are you always in M&S? You're always in M&S. I am in that a lot. A lot. Maybe I work there part time and I just don't tell you. I work there part time and just don't tell you.
Starting point is 00:25:20 Can I tell you that online cyber crash hack thing has really affected my life. Why? Because you have to change your password. No, they haven't asked consumers to change their passwords and this is another problem. They've advised them to though. Oh, when I was listening on the bank holiday Monday to the news, they asked that very question, should they be changing their passwords? And they were like, well, they haven't asked anyone yet. So my cousin works in cyber security. Yeah. And most like any sort of big crash that happens
Starting point is 00:25:50 usually falls on his company. So I said to him, what's happened with M&S? Yes. And he was like, they're not our client anymore. Thank God. Yeah. I bet he's so relieved. But do you like the way the hackers have gone high, mid and low brow? They've hacked the co-op M and S and Harrods. Yes. So weird. Low, medium, highbrow. That's what they've done. But I'll tell you why it's really affecting my life because you know, the Memorial bench. Well, I found a lovely, you've got to stop calling it the Memorial bench. It's just a bench. It's just a garden bench. The pre-memorial bench. No, the garden bench. The garden bench is bare. I found a really nice bench cushion and some other cushions for it. They're on M&S. I can't order them because they've paused their online orders.
Starting point is 00:26:39 It's really... Have they? Yes. For two weeks. Can I just say, I don't think I can listen to the bench anymore. Okay? Okay? So now the dressing of the bench and the carrying of the bench and the throwing over the shoulder of the bench. Listen, when I invite you for a nice cocktail. And you know what? I'm going to sit on the bench and I'm going to be like, okay, it's a bench.
Starting point is 00:26:58 And I like the cushions that you finally managed to get after 18 weeks. You're going to be so happy. Why am I gonna be happy? Because we're gonna have a lovely chat on the bench. You very, very rarely bore me. You very, it is so, so rare. I'm gonna say it. I am bored talking about the bench.
Starting point is 00:27:18 I'm sorry. I know it makes, oh, I feel bad now. I know it makes you happy, but I just don't care about your bench. I don. I know it makes you happy, but I just don't. I just don't care about your bench. I don't have any feelings about your bench, about the cushions on the bench, about the M&S cushions. And I just, I don't, I don't care. It makes me feel old listening to you and this fucking bench. Okay. Just stop it now consider your invitation revoked. I'm going to invite my new friend Amy. She's going to come in a house coat with a body branded. I'm going to make her a martini and
Starting point is 00:27:55 Amy and I will enjoy the Memorial bench. Amy you're welcome anytime. It calls out out Amy. out Amy you are in there okay with this bench that's it you go and play paddle Amy and I will enjoy who's winning the midlife meltdown this week? Ellis with his massive existential crisis? Me? Or you? I think you verbally abusing a stranger, even though he did deserve it. He deserved it. Yeah, but you can't verbally abuse strangers and drop the f-bomb on them. You just can't. Apparently I did. You've got that. It's such a midlife meltdown. It is like the epitome. It's the quintessential
Starting point is 00:28:48 midlife meltdown. But I don't feel like it was a meltdown. I felt like it was the right thing to do. Hence why it is the absolute epitome of the perimenopause. You my darling are the winner. Sorry Ellis. We are going to be back on Thursday with a new main show, 40ish. Please keep your emails and your feedback coming in. Hello at 40ish.co.uk or you can DM us at Instagram at 40ish.podcast. We absolutely love hearing from you and we'll be back on Thursday. Bye bye. Welcome to Suddenly Single, the podcast where we dive deep into the wild world of love, romance and everything dating. That's right, I'm Siobhan and alongside Tim each week we're joined by celebrity guests who share their unique dating story.
Starting point is 00:29:52 Whether you're navigating the ups and downs of dating sites or just looking for some love inspiration, we've got you covered. Remember you're not alone when it comes to dating, sometimes it's sad, but it's always funny and that's just Tim on his first dates. So join us every week on Suddenly Single.

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