40ish - Unfiltered - Lamination, Arseholes and the roadside poo

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Today on Unfiltered Charlize Theron is bragging about her one night stand with a 26yr old. Would you? Could you be bothered? Lauren laments about lamination and Nicole’s still reeling from a 7:30am convo involving... arseholes. Yes, actual ones. One woman’s Spanish getaway takes a very public turn when her friend faces a roadside toilet emergency—with no loo in sight and a car full of horrified (and hysterical) mates. Think Top Gear meets perimenopause panic. Unforgettable, unfiltered, and just a little bit traumatic. To buy tickets to our live show click here -  https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Get 10% off Daily30+ today. Go to zoe.com/daily30 and use promo code 40ISH10 We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everybody. Welcome to 40-ish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishcon. It's Tuesday. We are dishing all the feedback from last week's episode. We've got your comments or DMs. I believe we've got a voice note this week. We have. We'll get to it. I'm excited. Are you? Yeah? I love a voice note. I love it when the listeners engage with us. So do I.

On any level. So do I. We've had so much feedback about sandals. Yes. That's been a big conversation. And thank you for that. Some helpful links. We've been sent there.

Delighted. Anything that you want to be in touch with us about, please, please, please keep your messages coming in. Hello at 40ish.com. Or you can DM us on Instagram, 40ish. podcast and you can become a subscriber exclusively on apple podcast and when you subscribe you get early access very early access some weeks you get ad free across both shows you get us totally uninsrupted on this show and self-care club so come on board so come on board so um my midlife meltdown yeah is to do with you it seems to always be

to do with me. No, it is and that is not true. Am I driving you into a midlife crisis? No. Okay, good. Well, you might have done this week. Why? Your efficiency is annoying. My efficiency is annoying. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's the headline. Right. Okay. So, uh, we went to Apple to record a load of shows. We did. They emailed us the links to all of those shows. What do you mean? Like the recordings. Yeah. Right. You know, that's how I then edit it and that's how it then goes up onto the internet right you know that's how well that's how it happens i think it's just magic right no it all needs downloading and it's files and everything there's a lot there's a lot involved and what i needed was that email yeah anyway you know i'm menopausal i'm forgetful i can be a little bit scatty at times

so i'm always chasing my own tail we're trying not to be and we have bulk recorded a lot of our summer shows yes so i had i think at one point 10 shows to edit but it's also 10 20 files to to download It's a lot. It becomes a little bit overwhelming and it's fine as long as everything is organized anyway I was looking for the email because I was on the shows

that we recorded at Apple and the audio files are here and the video files are here I cannot find this email and I'm like I remember her sending this email was it in 40-ish no was it in self-care club

no does she message my personal account no is it in junk no is it in oh I looked for half an hour and then I was about to email her to say I have and got it and I'm sure you emailed it but I don't know where it is where was it and then I remembered yeah that you yeah my business partner yeah my work wife yeah what'd I do

she likes to go through emails and delete shit oh yeah I do I'm organized like that yeah you're organized like that yeah you deleted the email I didn't yes you fucking did did it was in our bin and I thought are you sure that was me are you sure I'm I do do that. I do do that. I don't delete message. Have I ever deleted a message? I can't be bothered. No, no. You can't be bothered. You can't be bothered. You can't believe your WhatsApp groups or anything like that. I do all of that. No, why would you delete it? I use, but I use that as like a search engine. And I use our emails like a search engine. I put it in the bin, all our files. All in the all in the fucking bin. Is that why you something about weird email and message yesterday about

like someone's name and I was like, I didn't even know who you're talking about. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I said you've, you've emailed, you deleted this email from such and such. And you're like, who? Who are you talking about? I didn't even know what you're talking about. I thought, oh, do you know what? I didn't know what you meant. Right.

So my meltdown is this. Yeah. Right. You being efficient. Yeah. Only works when it's actually efficient. Okay. Yeah.

And also, you're not the first person to have raised this issue. What recently? Ever. And also, okay, good. Good. I like it when Ollie and I are on board with each other. Ollie's like where where's the honey in the cupboard? I literally just

took it out the cupboard to use it and you've already tied it up. Where's the glass of water that I just put there? It's in the dishwasher. Yeah, that's what this is. That's what this email is. Over-efficiency. It's over-efficiency and then it is the absolute opposite. Yes. It's inefficiency. Okay. Okay.

And also like don't mess with a menopausal brain foggy woman. It's not fair. It was accidental. Because it makes me feel like I'm going a little bit stir crazy. No, I understand that. I understand that. It was accidental.

I know. But could we just maybe look at files that are quite important and not delete them? I'll do my best. Because she wouldn't have those files anymore, right? It's lucky I got to the bottom of it. I'll do my best. Because what would have happened if I didn't know you so well is I would have emailed her and said, if you still got those files, she would have deleted them.

Yeah. And then we would have had no shows. No shows. It would have been all my fault. Yeah. Oh dear. How sad would that. Yeah, terrible.

Terrible. That's my midlife meltdown. Okay. What's yours? Mine is a continuation of the garden watering system. Oh my God. Oh my fucking God. I fixed it.

I fixed the whole thing. Well, you obviously didn't because we're still talking about it. And then it broke. So you didn't fix it. No, I did all that bit. A different bit broke. It was like a pipe. And I spent about an hour doing everything I could, everything I could to fix this

and sort it out. and then Ollie came home and he literally glanced. I mean, when I say glanced, I literally a half second glance and he went, yeah, you need a jubilee clip. I was so annoying. Firstly, firstly, what's a jubilee clip? What is a jubilee clip?

Don't tell us we actually don't care. Good. Secondly, how do you know? Yeah. Yeah. You're a lawyer. You're not a plumber. How do you know what a jubilee clip is?

Thirdly, how annoying to be mansplained watering systems and plumbing by someone in heart it really annoyed me it's a hose clip oh it's a hose clip a jubilee clip a k a hose clip

or a hose clamp is a metal loop with a da da da da da da okay anyway I was like I don't know what that is I don't want to go looking

for what that is I'm just going to fix it so I've got some plumbers tape and some super glue and I and I fixed it anyway it was working beautifully

And then Ollie was like, oh, did you manage to fix it? And I was like, yeah. And he was like, how did you do it? And I was like, oh, I just did it. And he went, you didn't do anything stupid like use super glue or anything, did you? I was like, no, I just fixed it. I love that you won't tell Olly, but you'll tell the general public. He was like, you didn't botch it.

Did you? I was like, no, totally botched it. Anyway, yesterday I went to turn it on. Broken. Fucking broken. So I do need a Jubilee clip, but I don't. want to get involved. Isn't it a bit late now that you've used the super glue?

You know what? I don't care. I'm actually past the point of caring too. To be honest, it can all fucking dry up and die. I've tried so hard and I'm just over it now. I was watching TV the other day and not on our sky on our TV. You can go straight onto Netflix, right? So I was doing that and the Wi-Fi was off on the TV.

So I know how to do that. So I went into settings. I go to turn the Wi-Fi on and it keeps, you slide it on. on and then it slides off again. You slide it on, it slides off again. I don't know why. It's like the Jubilee clip. I don't know.

I don't give a fuck why. I just wanted to watch Netflix. I had half an hour to myself. Everyone fuck off and leave me alone. And that's what I want to do. Anyway, so then I had to call Adam in and say, oh, the Wi-Fi's not on on the TV. He's like, really? And I said, yeah, I said, but I've tried to fix it.

It's not working, so I don't know what that is. And he literally just presses a button and it's working. Oh, it's so annoying when they do that, but also so useful. Which is what's so annoying about it. So I said to him, well, what did you do? Well, I'll just press that. And I'm like, but I press that. He goes, well, I pressed it properly.

I said, I know how to press a button. I pressed the same button and it doesn't work. Why is that? What is that? What is that? I don't know. And you know, and it's like, oh, the volume's not working. Then they come, they turn the, so I just press the volume button.

I'm not a fucking moron. He's like, well, it's working now. Oh, I do find that. It absolutely drives me wild, but also really helpful. But so annoying because what if they're like traveling and it happens? What if they die? It's terrible. it's like more like what if they're out for dinner

rather than because it's like a permanent issue then I always think what if I have to set up a new everything yeah and he's just not around I would just never watch Netflix again I'd have to just hire a man to come around and fix everything all the time

or just have someone on the speed dial who I could just pay a month free retainer to any man any man just here's 20 pounds a month please I can call you I can call you any charge And you can make Jubilee clips, thick stuff, turn on Wi-Fi, yeah? I know how to turn on Wi-Fi.

I know, but you don't. You do, but you don't. You know? We've had some feedback. Okay. Okay, I'm just out for a run, says Vicky B, and I'm listening to your episode about Feet. I have to tell you about what my 16-year-old said to me recently.

I was walking around the house in my Adidas sliders, you know, doing the usual mum jobs. She came into the room, looked at my feet and said, what is it with you middle-aged women getting your toes out? It's disgusting. Now, in my day, sorry. You see, we talked about this on last week's show. I'm telling you it's a thing. That's not okay.

In my day, she says, socks and sliders or socks and sandals was not fashionable. Clearly now it is because I'm a disgusting woman. What would I know? It is a thing. It is a thing. The kids have got a problem with us ladies over 40 showing our rude, rude feet. Well, they can have a fucking problem with it. I've got a problem with them having a problem with it.

So there you go. Boom. Okay. You know, boom. Mike drop moment. Yeah, yeah. I did have a talking of mic drop moments. Should I tell this moment?

You better. In the gym this morning. Tell it. Three of us were having this whole conversation. I don't even know how it got so rude. And then this guy just basically said, I mean, I do know. We do speak in the gym.

And my friends, but she's very naughty. Anyway, he... She's really naughty. She makes me like a prude. She's really naughty, but she's so much fun. And he basically ended. He goes, yeah, I love assholes. Then he just walked.

Then he just walked away. And I was, like, my mouth was dropped to the floor. What did she say? It was like half past seven in the morning. Wow. And he just left. Well, that was a mic drop moment. Yeah.

And then I just said to her, I feel really sorry for his wife. Yeah. It's a lot, isn't it? It's a lot at any time. He's shared. And I barely know him. And also, you didn't really need or want to know that about him. No what I mean?

And now I feel like You can't unhear it I can't unknow it No I'm sorry But he's alright with that Okay that's on him I feel like I need to be alright with that panel

You're not really neither Talking of arseholes The holiday sex couple People have had things to say about this Deb said Oh no I had this exact thing happen In a ski chalet in France

I left a passive aggressive TripAdvisor review That's not good Titled, Slopes were not the only thing getting action. I say, say nothing. I completely and utterly disagree. Amina says, you absolutely have to say something. We teach kids about boundaries.

This is your chance to model it. Just say, hey, this is a family holiday, not an only fan's retreat. I mean, that's a bit harsh, but I know what she means. I'm with her. You're with her. I'm with her. Say something. It's your holiday too.

This is not. It's inconsiderate. Carly says, I would just start loudly clapping through the wall every time it happens. Keep it light. Think cheeky applause, not judgmental disapproval. Make it a running joke. I bet they'll rein it in.

Oh, that is actually very good advice. Just like, woo-hoo! Yeah. Good job. Then score them. Oh, yeah. The next morning at breakfast be like, that was definitely a 10 out of 10 shag. Well done.

Freya says, honestly, I think it is great. They are still so into each other. I say celebrate it. Just book a separate villa next time. I don't think I would want to celebrate if I was hearing you and Adam having sex in the next room. I don't think I'd celebrate it. I would definitely book a separate villain next time. Definitely.

Rob, who is an acoustics engineer. This is like the wall at the gym when all those men started getting in touch about the wall. He says, That was absolutely amazing. Sounds like the walls are probably 120mm single skin blockwork with minimal insulation. Is he actually joking? No one's thinking about the wall. He says you've got no chance.

Just put on a white noise out and ride it out. They're riding it out. You've also got no chance. I mean, with a comment like that, it's not about the fucking wall. Who gives a shit about the wall? It's not about how thick, thin the wall is. No one cares about the soundproofing of the wall. Rob.

It's about the sex. You totally missed the point. But Rob, thanks for getting in touch. But thank you, Rob. Oh, Rob, I'm sorry I had a go. Thank you. We really do appreciate all comments here at 40-ish. Especially such informed and educational ones, such as that. That's really helpful.

That's going to really help me in my day to day. Thank you. The new BMO ViPorter MasterCard is your ticket to more. More perks. More points. More flights. More of all the things you want in a travel rewards card. And then some.

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A hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. See The Roses, only in theaters, August 29th. Get tickets now. Right, I have, we had a voice note. Oh yeah. We had a voice note from Rachel. Let's hear it. This is going back quite a few. few weeks now about your birds you wanted to hear the sound of birds so you don't even remember

oh when I was identifying birds on my walk yeah yeah I've just been listening to 40-ish and Lauren's bird story actually had me in hysterics and I just want to say that there are actually two ways that you can find out what birds are or what animals are that you can see yeah when you're out and about yeah because I do it all the time um one there isn't actually an app you can hold your phone up just in the air and it will pick up bird noises and it tells you what the bird is. And two, if you take a photo of a bird or an animal and then press a little eye if you've got an iPhone at the bottom of a picture, it will, your phone identifies what that is. And honestly, it is a game changer.

No way. Rachel has just blown my mind. It's like Shazam for birds. Oh my God. I love this. It's actually not Shazam anymore, is it? It's called Encore. You probably don't even know.

what I'm talking about, do you? Someone, Zach asked me to shazam something the other day. Oh no, we were watching The Bear or something. He was like, can you shazam this song? And I was like,

I actually can because Josh showed me in Gail's Bakery how to find an app. And I remembered and I could. And it is still called Shazam on my phone. It's actually called Encore, I think now. What F's?

Thanks, Rachel. That is like the most useful thing I've heard, maybe all month. Oh, come on. It is. There's more useful things. Surely the, the weight of the wall from Rob was much more useful.

The single skin block work. Okay, brilliant. Thank you, Rachel. I'm totally going to do that. Right. We have some more feedback about the interfering mother-in-law on holiday. This was the holiday when she kept interfering. She kept interfering and overriding what the mother wanted.

Carol says, oh, hon, I get it. I once went to the Lake District with my mother-in-law and ended up with a two-day fake migraine so I didn't have to speak to her. It's an option? I think that's a really good option. S.H says let the kids eat ice cream at 10 a.m. Then hand them back to her when they're feral at 12 p.m. and say you're taking an app. She wants holiday rules, fine.

She gets the consequences. Yes. Okay, also an option. Yes. Another Rachel says, smile sweetly, say nothing and then never, ever invite her again. Next time, say she deserves a solo spa break. No one is saying what we've said, which is that it's the husband should be dealing with it. Zoe, 47, conflict averse from Bath, is her name.

Could you set rules before the trip next time? Like, we love your help, but we need consistency for the kids, then make a rules list and laminate it. Laminate everything. Passive aggression hates laminators. Does it? Good to know. Passive aggression hates laminators, okay.

Well, because it's so direct. Something laminated is so in your face. It's black and white, yeah. It's just there. Isn't it? Laminated. Okay. I bet you've got a laminator.

I wish I had a laminator, Nicole. Do you? Do you actually? What would you laminate? You know, I have to say, we've been doing this show for nearly a year. You know that? Wouldn't I laminate. And we have never, ever had the lamination discussion.

I think that's one of the only things we haven't discussed. I mean, I don't know what I love that we go from assholes to lamination. Yeah, I do. Maybe that would be the title of this show. Arseholes and lamination. I don't know what. what I would laminate, but I feel like I could laminate stuff a lot. I reckon you would laminate

the shit out of things. I would. You would be so good at it. I think you are missing a cooling. I love that wipe clean thing. Do you? Yeah. I'd need to put an ecloth on it after. Yeah, you would. Actually, someone has mentioned the parenting, the husband. Dan said this is classic triangulation. Your husband is the missing link here. Oh, yes, yes. He needs to step in and actually parent his parent tell him he either speaks to her or no more holidays i feel like dan is a therapist dan sounds like a therapist that is like therapy i don't know what classic triangulation is but it sounds like a therapy term it does doesn't it therapy speak dan we need

more clarification yeah i reckon your friend kate would have a lot to say about this she's a therapist she probably she's a such a therapist she's such a therapist she would therop the shit out of this dan she would give you a run for your money let me tell you pria says I simply wouldn't go on a multi-generational holiday unless sedated or paid. Well, sedation's quite easy, isn't it? Because you can just drink. Payment's harder.

But hold on saying that. Didn't the mother-in-law pay for the accommodation? So there you go. That is payment. She was paid. Georgia says next time she criticizes your parenting, just widen your eyes and say, wow, that's a strong opinion for someone who's not parenting anymore.

then walk away. Wow. Okay. I don't think I'd be able to do that. But good luck to you, Georgia. I think that's really bad advice. That's really confrontational. And also you can say like, wow, that's something coming from you and how you

parented your son. I mean, you just can't say shit like that. Wow. I'm living with this asshole that you got up. So, wow. I'm not taking parenting advice from you. Have you seen those memes on Instagram? They're very funny.

Yeah. I like the one where the woman says, I phoned my parents and told her that I couldn't stand the sleepover that I was on and please could I come home and she was like no you're 44 and they're your husband and kids you have to stay I'm really not enjoying the sleepover tough luck that is brilliant we're going to take a break and we're going to come back with some midlife news no frills delivers get groceries delivered to your door from no frills Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC optimum points

on your first five orders. Shop now at no-frails.ca. Coming in. What's happening? Charlie's Theron, 49, has opened up about her sex life, revealing that she recently had a one-night stand with a 26-year-old man. Is she not married, obviously?

Nope. The Oscar-winning actress is currently single but has been enjoying her sex life. She said, I've probably had three one-night stands in my entire life, but I did just recently fuck a 26-year-old and it was really fucking amazing. She told host Alex Cooper on the Call Her Daddy podcast. I've suddenly gotten into Call Her Daddy. Yeah. I sent you a link.

I saw. I haven't listened, but I'm going to. I've never done that. And I was like, oh, this is great. Okay. Cooper playfully replied to the man, Cooper playfully replied that the man in question was the luckiest man walking the goddamn planet. But can you imagine this guy who's had this one-night stand with her?

And now he's telling all his mates, listen, I've just had a one-night stand. And they're like, yeah, all right. And then she goes out publicly and admits in. He's like, hello, I was the one-night stand. And also, it was fucking amazing. And how many men do you think? How many 26-year-olds are claiming that it is them? Yeah, every 26-year-old in America is claiming that it is them right now.

I mean, that is, that's 23 years difference. that is quite an age gap. That is four and a half years older than my son. I don't know if I can do that. 26. But also, it's like fully growing out. I mean, I'm at 27. But I mean, also good for her.

Good for you. Charlies, they're on. Would you like to have sex with a 26 year old? Not today. Not today. And I don't think Ollie would be thrilled about that. No. No, no.

I really don't think he'd be thrilled about it. No. No. I don't know. Would I? I wouldn't. Would you want to? No, I really wouldn't.

I really wouldn't. I really wouldn't. It would have to be really dark and they'd have to keep their eyes shut the whole time. It would have to be really dark. I know what you're like. Yeah, they'd have to have their eyes shut. Yeah, they would. And also not put their hands out.

Or speak to me ever again after. Or during. Or before I actually got to think of it. Hi ladies, I feel a bit bad sending this in because technically this meltdown didn't happen to me but it's too good not to share. Oh, share it, share it. I was in Spain recently with a group of old girlfriends for a long weekend.

We were staying at my friend's house having a much-needed escape full of sun, wine and inappropriate conversations. Sounds perfect. One night after dinner, we were all driving back. My friend, the host, was at the wheel. And the rest of us were in various stages of food coma and sangria's sleepiness. suddenly she said I really need the loo this wasn't the usual I'll go

when we get home kind of need it was urgent the problem was we were on one of those Spanish fast roads no hot shoulder no service station she said again I really need the loo this is terrible and before we could respond she veered the car over to the side of the road

hazards on engine off and jumped out and we were all just sitting there like surely not oh yes oh yes my poor desperate friend yanked down her trousers, crouched by the door, and proceeded to have

what can only be described as a roadside event. The rest of us stayed frozen in the car, half horrified, half laughing so hard we were in pain, trying not to look.

It was deeply childish, possibly a bit mean, and absolutely the funniest thing we'd seen in years. I swear the mix of her panic, our cackling, And the car's whipping past at 80 miles per hour made it feel like we were in a particularly unhinged episode

of Top Gear, Perry Menopause edition. She's still traumatised and says it's the worst moment of her 44 years on this planet, which is saying something. But to us, it was unforgettable. And now it's immortalized in your inbox. Love the show. Keep the meltdowns coming. And make all your road trips have toilets.

Big hugs, tea. oh that's really special that's really special thank you for sharing that i mean i do see why she felt a bit bad sharing that sharing that and like does your friend listen to the show and if not why not if not if not yeah um oh my god it's amazing it's amazing thank you thank you for that love it's just terrible obviously she'd eaten something that had disagreed violently and you are now writing this into a podcast I mean, but when you've got to go, you've got to go.

Shame on you, but thank you. Yeah, yeah, like you're mean, you're mean, but we love it. And if you have any stories like that or you want to share your listener meltdowns

or your midlife meltdowns or your dilemmas or your rants or your moaning or anything that you're celebrating in midlife, it has to be about middle age, then email us hello at 40ish.com. Or you can DM us at Instagram at 40ish.podcast. Now listeners, we have some sad, sad news for you. It's not sad for us, it's just sad for you.

We're going on holiday for a little bit. We're taking a little bit of a break in order to have a private 40-something midlife meltdowns. In private, we won't be sharing. We will be sharing. Oh, no, we'll definitely be sharing when we get back. Because we're going to come back in September. Newer, fresher, probably more fucking exhausted from all the summer holidays. and moaning even more.

Oh, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. So enjoy your time off. Please, please let us know how you're getting on over the summer, what midlife mayhem has ensued. Yes. Over August.

We want to hear from you because we're coming back in September with a new season and we cannot wait. We've been going nearly a year. Nearly a year. In fact, it will be a year when we come back on the 2nd of September. So good for us. Yay. Yeah.

Thank you for all your. support this past year it's been very appreciated and very humbling and we love that you're here with us the show wouldn't be what it is without you so thank you for all of your emails all of your DMs all of your support we very much appreciate it and we promise to bring you more fun more joy more laughter and a lot more meltdowns in september see you then bye