40ish - Unfiltered - Printers, Posing Nude and Psycho spritzing
Episode Date: June 17, 2025Today on unfiltered, Lauren flirts with the idea of posing nude for a painting in Paris (but only if it’s giving “airbrushed Kate Winslet on the Titanic” vibes.) Nicole wonders what she could ...have achieved in life if she weren’t professionally chained to her kitchen like a countertop spritzing psycho. A listener nominates herself for the weekly Midlife Meltdown Award after a printer breakdown nearly pushes her over the edge - and we ask the question: is a Live, Love, Laugh mug just a passive aggressive threat at this point? Tune in to find out! To buy tickets to our live show click here - https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Get 10% off Daily30+ today. Go to zoe.com/daily30 and use promo code 40ISH10 We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email hello@40ish.co.uk Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Whether it's a family member, friend or furry companion joining your summer road trip,
enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety.
During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings as you make plans to cruise through Muskoka or down Toronto's bustling streets.
From now until June 30th, lease a 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000.
Conditions apply.
Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details.
No Frills delivers.
Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express.
Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders.
Shop now at noFrails.ca
Hello everybody welcome to Fortish Unftered. I'm Nicole Goodman.
And I'm Lauren Mishcon. This is the show where we dish all the juicy feedback from Thursday's
main episode. We dive into your comments, your DMs, everything that you're saying about
the Fortyish dilemmas. And if you want more Fortyish in your life, and of course you do
because everyone does, please hit that follow button and become a subscriber exclusively
on Apple podcasts. When you subscribe, you get early access, you get ad free across both
shows. And you get bonus episodes. That's it. That's across 40ish and self care clubs.
So please come, come be part of the club. We would love to have you. Are you ready for
the feedback? No. Why not? Because I want your meltdown first.
Oh, my meltdown.
Hmm.
Am I melting down this week?
I don't know.
It's not optional.
You have to bring something.
That's the segment of the show.
That's how it works.
And then we have a listener that gives her us their meltdown.
You understand? That's how it works. And then we have a listener that gives us their meltdown, you understand? That's
how it works. Then we decide who's the winner of the most midlife melty downy person. That's
how it works. It's really upbeat. It's fun. It's a lot of complaining.
That's the one. I don't know if I feel like I'm in meltdown. I feel like I'm very, very
distracted with new motherhood. We're still in, I still can't basically leave the house unless I'm here to record. I'm still
stuck at home with a puppy that can't go out yet.
Let's talk about it.
The puppy?
No, I love your puppy. I love her.
She's got very bitey. She's got very mouthy. She's teething. I wish I could give her a
cow pull. I wish. I wish. She's got very,y. She's teething. I wish I could give her cow pull. I wish. I wish.
She's got very, very sharp little teeth. God, do you know what she did? Yesterday evening,
I was trying to do some like email admin stuff with Zach. She got, she was sitting on my
lap. She drank my cup of tea, a full cup of tea. And I was like, I'm sure puppies aren't
supposed to have caffeine. What's going to happen now? What did happen?
Not a lot. She just did her normal evening time zoomies and then I put her to bed. But
I mean, I don't know. I'm sure puppies aren't supposed to drink tea. Does Miley drink tea?
No, never drink a cup of tea.
Hold on. Like you've always prided yourself on being like strictest mother in the world.
Nothing gets past you. And now she's sleeping on all the fucking sofas. There are beds all over her house.
And now she's climbing on the table and drinking your cup of tea.
She was sitting on my lap. I was at the kitchen counter.
That's not the dog trainer would not like that.
The dog trainer. Oh my God.
Anyway, we're going to talk about this. Okay. This new motherhood thing. Yeah. That is now greatly impacting my life. Because, because I think you should be able to leave
the house. I've just left it for two whole hours. I'm already feeling guilty. What are
you fit? Right. That's what we're talking about. My mother had guilt. My mother's guilt.
What are you feeling guilty about? It's a she'll be lonely. She won't be lonely. She'll be, she will be asleep. She might need a poo.
She will be asleep. She's wondering where's my mummy? Is she ever coming home? Is she
always in a podcast studio? She loves her job more than she loves me. I need therapy.
She'll need therapy when she grows up. She might pierce
things and tattoo things and go out with a bad boy because I haven't been there enough
for her. She might get an eating disorder. I don't know. My meltdown, I had two, but actually let's talk about how you won't leave the house.
This is my meltdown.
I'd love to leave the house, but she hasn't had her injections.
I'd love to go out for walks and take her out.
No, no, I get that.
I get that.
I want to leave the house.
Well, everyone else in your household leaves the house.
Yeah, they do. Because they're bastards.
Because mommy's always left holding the baby.
But mommy doesn't have to be left holding the baby.
Well, I haven't got a nanny.
Or an au pair.
It's just me, me, me.
You do have.
I'm exhausted, Nicole. I'm exhausted.
I've got cracked nipples. They're not.
Okay, I we're getting nowhere with this. No, no. Right. What's your meltdown? My meltdown is
It's it's not sexy. Okay, it's not sex. It's okay. It's not about menopause. Okay, as long as it's not about fungal toenails
I don't care
How dare you? Okay, good. That is not nice. Okay, I's not about fungal toenails, I don't care. How dare you?
Okay, good.
That is not nice.
I do not have fungal toenails.
I just, so many people do.
What?
So many people around me do.
Who?
Oh, I don't want to name and shame, but I'm just saying so many people around me.
I'm like, I don't want to talk about it.
I don't want to know about it. I just know it's so middle aged. What is it then?
It's the clearing up. Oh yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I am done with it. I'm done
with it. I leave the kitchen. It is spotless. I know I've talked about this
before. Literally last week.
Wasn't last week. It was a few weeks ago and it was right at the end of the show. I'm
now bringing it as its full segment on its own because that is what it deserves. Because
I am not the only woman in the world that feels this way about her kitchen. I spend my life, life cleaning
my kitchen counters. That is what I do. And it doesn't matter how many times I clean them,
they always need cleaning. If I step outside of the kitchen for maybe 43 seconds and I
come back, there is something to clean.
And the avocados are off.
See, you do have a meltdown.
Right. What's that got to do with the kitchen counter?
Because I'm saying if you leave the kitchen 43 seconds, the avocado has gone from ripe to overripe.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the bananas.
And the bananas, yeah. And the fucking raspberries. Anyway.
Oh, I've actually stopped
with raspberries. I feel like I could literally blink. Open my eyes again and the raspberries
have gone moldy. I've stopped with them. I've also stopped buying them. Because they're
£3.80. I'm sick of it. £3.80 on a cardo for raspberries. Ridiculous. It's ridiculous.
I'd rather grow a raspberry bush and pick them myself. I would just not, I'm not going
to have raspberries. You know what? I haven't missed them. I haven't actually missed them. I do miss them, but they're too expensive.
They are too. So blackberries. I haven't had blackberries for a long time. I can get those
for free in the woods. Don't need to buy those. Share the love. I will in September. Anyway,
so if any person steps into the kitchen, they seem to fuck the whole space up and they don't
care. It doesn't matter to them. It doesn't matter that there's crumbs everywhere. It doesn't matter that there's like coffee stains
in the sink. It doesn't matter that they're all their crumbs from the toaster is all over.
They don't care. They don't see it. They don't care. And I really care. And I said to my
husband the other day, I think I would have been a lot more successful professionally if I did not have to clean the kitchen counters. And he looked at me like I was being dramatic.
I mean, how fucking dare he? I wasn't being dramatic. Not at all. I do believe that it
has held me back in my career. You said the same. You said I could have written a set
of encyclopedias and the time I spend detoxing my kitchen counter
and also bonering my floor. I have a boner. I have a boner. It's a mop and I boner that
floor at least three times a day.
But you also have a puppy.
Even before the puppy. And I understand I had an elderly in continent Spaniel before the
puppies I was bonering a lot then. But even before he was incontinent, I'd boner that floor many, many times a day.
I don't even boner the floor.
You don't.
Now I'm too busy with the work tops.
The work tops. I do both.
Anyway, my point is we might have a much bigger podcast if we weren't cleaning our kitchen
so very much.
It's so true. And then if we had the bigger podcast, we could like afford to pay someone
to clean our kitchen all the time and then we wouldn't ever have to clean our kitchen.
That'd be amazing.
Right. So everyone listening. Yeah. Could you tell all your friends?
Could you all listen and all subscribe and earn some more money and then we don't clean
our kitchens all the time. All the time. Yeah. We're just moving together and have a permanently
tidy kitchen. We'd fight over that clean surface. We'd be able to see our reflection in it.
Amazing.
We'd have the tidiest house.
The tidiest, tidiest house.
I want to go to some feedback. Are you ready?
Ready.
It's a smorgasbord of feedback this week.
S says, I had to get in touch about the lady with the young PT and the unfortunate
leak after her burpee tuck jumps because I have discovered a hack for such accidents.
A sanitary towel. Period knickers while exercising. That is a brilliant idea. This means any little
leaks are not a problem but I don't have to wear tenopads which would make me feel really old. Also, eating pumpkin seeds really helps. Hope this helps you. Love
the show. Makes me laugh every week.
Pumpkin seeds?
So she says. Who knew?
I did not know that.
What a midlife tip.
What a midlife tip. What a midlife tip.
I actually do have pumpkin seeds every day, but I don't do any burpee squat jumps. So
I can't tell you if they work or not.
Well, you'd know if they, you'd know.
My pelvic floor seems fine.
Then they work.
Great. Vicky says, thank you for the injuries discussion. You know, when you were saying
about how you've always got an injury and everything's an injury and I woke up from sleeping with a neck injury. I thought
it was just my job as a dog walker. So much so that I don't even bother to tell my husband
about them anymore because he just says, you need to get a new job. Now I can tell him
that it's my age and still not get any sympathy. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Welcome. And R says, hello, Lauren and Nicole. I've recently
found your podcast. I found myself laughing out loud whilst listening as I drive to work or walk
the dogs. I think I must look crazy, but who cares? I'm enjoying myself. So many people write to us
and say, I'm laughing and I'm out walking. And I think other people think I'm a nutter. Yes.
Which is, I love that.
I want to know what they're laughing at.
Yeah, me too.
I want to know what bits are tickling you. So everyone listening, please, can you just
write to us and let us know what is making you laugh because then we'll bring more of that.
Yeah.
I don't really have any friends and I get lonely because my children are growing up and doing
their own thing, rightfully so, and my husband is often busy with work or the gym. We do lots together, but I understand that he can't spend
all of his time with me, so I end up spending an awful lot of time alone. Listening to you
both and laughing along with you has helped me feel less lonely and you always put a smile
on my face. I hope you both realise how much you're helping people and how important your
line of work is to your listeners. Thank you."
That's so sweet.
You know what? That is so sweet.
Because we don't often feel like we're doing important work.
No. Especially as I was listening to a podcast this morning on sustainability
and it really made me question mine.
Your sustainability or your life choices.
Life choices.
your sustainability or your life choices. Life choices.
Didn't we have a comment or a DM or someone was asking one of us to do a nude photo shoot?
Oh yeah, I was going to bring that after the break. Do you want it now?
Well, we're here.
Okay. So Philip, Philip, who asked us the question, who would be the better lunch date?
And we've had that discussion. He's back. He's back.
Did he tell us who he wanted to take on?
He said that he absolutely loved the fact that we came as a package deal.
Ah.
And thanks for that.
Right. Is he taking us for lunch or?
He hasn't said. Now he says.
No, because it's going to cost him more.
Wait for it. I love the lunch date answer and how lovely that you come as a package deal, a dream come
true.
Oh, thanks, Philip.
Oh, sweet.
Philip, you're very sweet.
Once again.
What a charmer.
You may change your mind after this.
Once again, in the spirit of fun and harmless education, which one of you lovelies would
be more likely to pose nude for an artist?
Maybe you have already.
Also would either one of you be happy seeing it hung in a gallery or museum for all to
see? Please ignore the fact that I am an artist living in Paris.
Philip, we can't ignore the fact that you are an artist living in Paris. Can we? We
can't ignore that. If you were like, I am a plumber living
in Walthamstow, that's one thing, but you're not. So what am I supposed to do with that?
What are you saying, Philip? Are you inviting us to Paris, Philip? And are we allowed to
keep our clothes on if we come? I don't know. What is your answer to this? Firstly, have
you posed already nude for a painting? I'd like to this? Firstly, have you posed already nude for a
painting? I'd like to know. No, I have posed topless for a painting. Have. Yeah. Who painting
it? My friend. She was a woman. That's fine. No problem with that. Where's the painting?
Oh God. It's probably in her A level art folder somewhere in her mother's loft. Her A levels. Yeah yeah so okay fine. Let me tell you exactly who is more likely Philip it is Laura
Mishcon okay it's Laura Mishcon. I actually don't care. We are not a package deal when it comes to
this she doesn't care about shit like this. I'm very prudy I'm not getting my kit off. I'm sorry. There's just no way Jose and my posing
in any nude fashion whatsoever. No.
The thing is, what I would want to know is, is it going to be like a Sigmund Freud because
he, you know, when he painted Kate Moss and it's all like the veins and the blotchy and
the this, or are you going to do like an idealized painting? Because if you're going to like
give me a tummy tuck and a boob job and all the rest of it, great because if you're going to like give me a tummy tuck and a boob
job and all the rest of it, great. If you're going to pull a whole Freud, Lucian Freud,
are you going to have like grapes and cheeses and things all around you? Like Titanic vibes.
Titanic vibes. I want something more modern. All right, but she's getting very fussy about it.
More modern than Titanic, but not Lucian Freud.
Okay.
Got that, Philip?
Got it.
Are you inviting her to Paris?
Is she coming to Paris for this nude photo shoot?
I don't think my husband would be that delighted.
Not a nude photo shoot.
It's a painting.
It's a portrait.
Who will we take a photo first and then paint from the photo?
Have you ever painted a nude?
No. I have
painted many. Okay, because I'm not surprised. Okay, so I have and I can tell you it's not that
different from painting some apples because you're really not looking at like the bits,
you're just looking at the shape, the curve, the tone where the shadow lies. So for me, it's not a
weird pervy thing for me, it's just art. I'm a okay with it. Sorry, but I am. And would I care if it was a museum or gallery? Again,
depends on the painting.
Okay, well then you can go to Paris.
He's not actually, again, he's not actually invited us.
He actually was. He actually was.
No.
Actually he was. First he's asked you out for lunch.
He hasn't. He hasn't asked us for the lunch. He hasn't asked us.
He said who would be the better lunch date.
He hasn't asked us on the lunch date.
Listen, if Laura Mishcon is going to get her kit off, it's going to be her, isn't it?
You can go to Paris. I'm not going to Paris without you. You're coming. We've been to...
I'm not coming. You'll have to sit in the room. You'll have to be my chaperone.
You have to keep it above board. I have to keep it above board. Yeah. Perhaps maybe don't go.
That might keep it above board. Philip, I feel like
you're just asking these questions now so that we discuss it on the show. Listen, I'm
here for it. What's next, Philip? Where's this going, Philip? Because I feel like the
next question is going to be really, which one of you is more likely? Well, neither of
us. We're married. Very, very long, long-term marriage. Which one of you lights it up the bulb up?
It's better than an elbow. Come to Paris, let me paint you nude.
Lauren is referring to the dilemma last week with the listener last week.
Whose husband elbows her and that's his form of seduction.
That's his initiation.
Yeah. Listen, how am I supposed to break this to the family?
Hi guys, listen, can you do the school run?
Can you cook your own dinner? Can you look after the puppy?
Because I am going to Paris to meet a random man to be painted nude.
I cannot tell you how fucked off I will be if you can't leave the fucking house
for three minutes with this puppy but suddenly she could go to Paris.
I'd like to hear the conversation with you and Ollie when you bump into him in the David
Lloyd.
Always.
About where I am.
Yeah.
Where's Lauren?
She's in Paris.
What's she doing?
She told me she was working.
Well, he won't be at the David Lloyd, will he?
I have to be at home breastfeeding.
You're right, he won't. at the David Lloyd will he? I'll have to be at home breastfeeding. You're right he won't.
So true. So true. A daily game that's never ordinary. All you have to do is match as many tiles as you can. And the more you match, the better.
We also have top table games like our incredible Super Spin Roulette, Blackjack, and a huge
selection of slots.
So there you have it.
How can you match that?
Check out PrizeMatcher and see why it's never ordinary at Bet365.
Must be 19 or older, Ontario only.
Please play responsibly.
If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connexontario.ca, T's and
Z's apply.
Nothing's going to top Philip.
Nothing is going to top Philip apart from maybe the thong, the thong, thong, thong,
your thong confession.
It's not a confession.
Or a lot of boys to the yard.
A bit like your milkshakes or your ninja creamies. Your ninja creamies. Back
to the thong. Don't, don't distract from the thong.
I don't want to talk about the thong.
You confessed it. Anyway, Erin, Erin Ashley Rose, she says, me too. She's with you on
the thong wearing a full pant makes me claustrophobic.
Yeah. I'm so with her.
Hot?
Yeah. With her. weird. It's very
hot in the studio. You shouldn't use that word. Karen Phillips says, I love the way
she uses her phone. Karen Phillips, I feel like I know her. She says, phone knickers
are so uncomfortable. Yes Karen they are. It has to be a fitted short, proper little
shorts or a thong. Can I just say something? Yeah. You can't go from Philip and his sexy photoshoot that you're
now going to sexy naked photoshoot to now talking about thongs. You can't do that because
you can't. Because it gives the wrong impression that that is not what this show is. Okay?
No, let's move on.
JB says, as a man, please bring back French knickers. French knickers. Do you remember
those? They've got frills on the side.
Yeah, they were like a boxer short,
like a silky boxer short with a split.
But how are you gonna wear that under leggings?
Well, that actually is a no-show knicker.
If you're wearing skirts.
No, it can't be if there's a frill.
You can't wear it under leggings,
but you could wear it under a nice skirt.
Who, you don't have any skirts, neither do I.
When was the last time you saw me in a skirt?
When was the last time you saw me in leggings?
Exactly.
Can't wear a French knicker.
Exactly.
I'm bringing the listener meltdown. Do you want it?
Yeah.
Because you're getting it.
You didn't have one.
I didn't really.
Right. Can I just say it's the second week in a row that you have not brought a listener meltdown.
I'm really sorry that my life is in balance. I'm feeling alright. I'm really sorry. I
apologise. I'll try and fuck it up next week just for the show.
You don't mind. Hold on. Hold on. I talked about cleaning my work tops. It's not like
my life.
I also have to clean my work tops.
Right. Your job is to make content out of nothing. That is your job. Okay. It's not a great job,
but it's a job. So just suck it up and bring it. You can't just not do the work.
Can I bring that my 12 year old doesn't want to give me a kiss hello, goodbye or good night
anymore? Yes. I mean, it's not a meltdown. That is a perfect meltdown. It's not nice.
That's a perfect meltdown. Please can I have a kiss? Good night. Night night I go to kiss.
I get a bent head top of the head. He's got a lot. He's got llama haircut. You know, like a llama short and
then a lot of curls at the front. I don't want to kiss that because you know, he's only
13 years. I want a skin. I want the face. Kisses. No kisses. I can't remember the last
time I kissed my daughter's face. I mean, it might have been over a year ago. You know, I miss it. Sometimes I crave it. Sometimes, sometimes when she walks
past me and I sort of skim my lips on some like her lower arm. Like a brush pass. Yeah. She doesn't
like that. She doesn't like that. He actually, I drove him home from, from school
the other day. He was in his pee kit. So he had his little legs out. So I just put my,
put my hand on his knee. Yeah. You know, and they're like, Oh look skin. Yeah. Did he let
you? He let me for about three seconds. And then he like, gave me a bit of a dirty look
and noticed me away. I was like, okay, all right. I'm not allowed to give you a kiss
or touch your leg anymore. Okay. All right. I understand you're a teenager. You're cool. I'm tragic.
It's the push pull thing. It's very natural. Sorry, I've got puppy now.
Thank God. Thank God. She smells great. She loves being. Oh, she, you know what? She does
smell great. To the point. Why is that? Cause puppies normally stink. She smells great.
I never washed her. I've never bathed her.
To the point that I went home and washed my dog yesterday because when I got home and
smelled her she smelled... Puppyfied. No, my dog did not smell puppyfied. She smelled
like she needed a wash. So I gave her a bath and I thought, now you smell like Bieber.
But mine is living in a house which is endlessly being detoxed and wiped.
Also she hasn't been out.
She hasn't been anywhere.
So that's why.
And also mine was in the woods and when I turned her out yesterday, when I turned her
out she was rolling in something and I don't know how long she was rolling in it for.
It's alright, mine will stink really soon.
She'll stink.
She smells gorgeous now.
Here's the listener meltdown.
Brace yourself.
Hi ladies, I would like to be considered for the meltdown
winner of the week. Oh, go for it. Today I was drinking... To be honest, you've won anyway,
because Lauren didn't bring one and mine was rubbish. Today I was drinking coffee from a mug
that my mother-in-law brought me that says live, laugh, love, which to be honest, feels like a threat at this point. Amazing. Amazing.
Did she buy that for you in an ironic or non ironic way?
It's got to be non ironic.
I would, I would, that would accidentally break if I got that mug.
I might get you that mug.
Please don't.
I think I will.
It will have a terrible accident. No, it won't. No, nothing says live. And you don't like wasted. Live
laugh. Don't buy me a live life. Please don't buy me that. I'll put it on like a 40ish mug
so you can't throw it away. Don't you dare. I'll let the puppy drink out of it. Please
don't buy me that. I don't want it anyway. The printer won't work again. This is the
same printer that I bought during
lockdown because it was highly rated by people. Printers never work, light bulbs, they never
work. They never work. It was highly rated by people who clearly enjoy suffering. I've
updated the firmware, I've restarted the router, I have shouted at it, I have begged it, but
it won't print and it is making me lose the will to live.
What's this got to do with the mug?
Meanwhile I can feel another rogue chin hair sprouting, yes I did tweeze yesterday, and
my eyelids suddenly look hooded like my mum's. I am fed up being told that age is just a
mindset by 22 year olds on Instagram and that eye cream actually works. It does not.
It doesn't. I just want
one day, one day in capital letters, she says, where nothing breaks, nothing bleeds, nothing
sprouts. Nobody asked me what's for dinner or where their football boots are. Is this
too much to ask? Thank you, Gemma. Gemma, the printer has sent you spiralling. What's this got to do with the mug?
I think that she was feeling the irony when drinking out of a live, laugh, love mug.
That she wasn't feeling that vibe in her life.
Got it.
Got it.
I think that's the point.
I hate printers.
Like I hate light bulbs, like you said last year.
I hate them. They never work.. I said last year hate they never work
and why ever ever ever work. I did work yesterday with the fucking toner. Toners low. Your tone is
low. Okay. 400 pounds on another toner cartridge. Shall I say I ignore that and ignore that and
ignore that and like living life on the edge because you think I know it's always the color
toner always is always the color and I was think fuck it, let's see what happens. And then the kids are like, and it always comes out in color.
Print it in black and white. And then I always say to Ollie, please, can you just replace,
I'm fed up with the kids talking about the color toner. He's like, I literally might as well buy a
new printer because it comes with a free cartridge and that costs less than buying the cartridge.
I'm like, then buy a new printer. I don't care.
My printer is about as big as this screen behind you.
It is so huge.
Why have I got such a big printer?
It's Adam's fault. It's massive, your printer.
Of course it's Adam's fault.
It's massive. It's like industrial.
Yes, but it never works. So it's not industrial, is it? It's rubbish. Rubbish.
I have never pressed print and not seen the words, tone is low.
Or low on paper or paper
jam. That's my favorite. And then I opened the door. There's never a jam. There's never
a jam. I hate a paper jam. But there's never a jam. And then you're like, okay, well, there
isn't a jam. Sometimes it's at the back, sometimes it's at the back, not at the front. Printers. They're wankers. Printers.
Printers are wankers.
Are wankers.
They are not good for menopausal women.
No Gemma, we hear you.
Why are you, what are you printing?
That's your opposite.
I had to print yesterday.
This should have been my meltdown.
I'm printing things all the time, aren't you?
No, literally never.
What are you printing?
I'm printing like forms for school trips.
Why do you have to print them?
I do. Oh, that annoys me so. Printing stuff to hand in. I'm printing like forms for school trips. I'm printing. Why do you have to print them? I do.
Oh, that annoys me so.
Printing stuff to hand in. I'm printing a medical form.
I have to tell you, days as old school used to have to print everything and then you used
to have to scan it back in and then send it. It's like, have you ever heard of a Google
Doc? I mean, can we not just do that? Why don't they use Google Docs? The things that
you have to scan, that fucks me off. Have they not heard of DocuSign?
Don't start with DocuSign. I'm not. I did that to be annoying. But anyway, I had to print something yesterday. You know what? I had to print it. My daughter's going on a school trip tomorrow morning
and they sent the letter, the email of all the kit lists and everything else. It was so small,
I couldn't read it, even with my glasses on. So I had to print it out to read it. So you could read it even with my glasses on. So I have to print it out to read it.
Amazing. Special, hey?
Yeah, that is special. I think you may need to go back to the optician. I'm just saying
because you had trouble. Couldn't read your laptop before, could you? Or your phone or
something.
Oh yeah, I couldn't. Yeah.
Sorry, but your eyes are failing. So please go back to the optician because you know, sight is kind of handy for things.
You know, I say this as a woman in bifocal contact lenses. I'm not in contact lenses.
Maybe I know you're not, but I'm saying it's not like my eyes are young. They're very ancient,
but they are fixed with the wonders of modern bifocal contact lens technology. Gemma,
you're the winner. Oh Gemma, you're definitely, definitely the winner.
You are the winner by a mile.
But also Gemma, that mug, take it to the charity shop.
Just, it's a no.
It's a no Gemma.
It's a no.
And also, maybe go and get some laser on your chin.
Just a thought.
Okay.
Well that's it for this week.
We're gonna see you on Thursday.
For the full show.
Well we are if Lauren gets out the house and leaves the puppy for three seconds.
I'll do my best.
She gets very stressed.
She got very stressed about leaving the puppy today, didn't you?
Very, very stressed.
The puppy's fine. The puppy is bold.
Well let's hope so.
As bold as anything.
And is very confident.
And she is fine. Let's hope she's okay. She is
going to run rings around you this puppy just so you know. She already is. Yeah I know she is.
She's okay. She's okay. She's not the one I'm worrying about.
We'll be back on Thursday with a brand new episode. Please be in touch hello at 40ish.co.uk
and we'll be back on Thursday.
so please be in touch hello at 40ish.co.uk and we'll be back on Thursday. an audio panic room. Join us every Monday for the main ep and Wednesday for Your Turn where we hear your teen tales past and present. Teen Commandments, find us where you get your podcasts.
Yes, teenagers, pick up your wet towels.
And don't call us bruh.