40ish - Unfiltered - Spice Girl rebrand and a frenemy face-off

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

This is the sidekick show to 40ish where every Tuesday we dish on the feedback from the week's episode diving into your comments, emails, DMs, and the social media buzz about the latest 40ish dilemmas. This week: This week: The epic saga of the Penis Beaker continues, now with commentary from...Lauren's mom. Brace yourselves. Plus, our listeners unleash their hilariously accurate middle-aged Spice Girl names. And finally, a tale of a  listener's (uncharitable) thoughts upon encountering her frenemy after seven long years.  Want more 40ish in your life? Of course you do! Hit that follow and subscribe button, and let's get this conversation going! We would love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Go to ZOE.com to find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. You can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 to get 10% off membership. As a ZOE member, you’ll get an at-home test kit and personalized nutrition program to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. Use 40ISH10 at checkout. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nicole, when was the last time you actually listened to your gut? I always do because nutrition in midlife is so important and we know there's a lot of misleading health advice out there and most of what we're taught about food is wrong. Did you know that Big Food even pays TikTok influencers to say that ultra processed foods are healthy when they're not? I actually find that shocking but it's no wonder that one in eight people globally, that's over a billion people are living with obesity. So our sponsor, Zoe, understands that our health is suffering and that it's time we

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This episode is sponsored by Zoe. Hello everyone. Welcome to Fortyish Unfiltered. I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Lauren Mishcombe. This is the sidekick show to Fortyish where we dish all the juicy feedback from the week's episode and every Tuesday we dive into your comments, emails, DMs and all the social media buzz about the latest Fortyish dilemmas. Nick, you want more Fortyish in your life? Because of course you do. Who wouldn't want more Fortyish in your life? I got stopped in a shopping centre on Friday coming up to me telling me how much they love my podcast.

Oh my God. How did you not text me that info? Because you'd ignored me, hadn't you? I'd already messaged you something and you'd ignored me. I was being punished. Yeah, no, I actually forgot. Yeah. Telling me that she finds it hard to drive because she's laughing so much. Oh, I love that. I mean, not that she's dangerously driving, but she's enjoying it. Yeah, she loves it. So if you do want more 40ish in your life, then please hit that follow

button and come and subscribe onto our Apple podcast subscription because you get free content on there. You get bonus content on there. You get it ad free and you get early access. All the things. All the things. So please come over for that. We would be absolutely delighted to have you. All the things. So please come over for that. We would be absolutely delighted to have you. I came across this weird post last night on Instagram and I sent it to you. Did you? Yes. Right. So the post was, it was a little real and it was of a man and a woman. The woman was lying on her back. Yeah. She was absolutely tanned and had a six pack

and absolutely beautiful looking. And it was like, and he was just like some tanned Adonis. He was just divine, wasn't he? Topless. Topless. And she was lying there and she sort of had her legs spread and he was sort of sat in between her legs and he was massaging her hips. Yeah, her hips and like her stomach. And

it was like this really like sensual music and the line was, I'm gonna tell you, how to help your wife ease her pain during her bleed. So I believe he was giving her a sort of pelvis, stomachy, relaxing massage. The hips can be a great place to help ease period pain. The muscles in the hips are greatly connected to the stomach and the lower back. And he's got like, he is absolutely divine this guy. I might even put it on our stories. And she's just lying there and it's like they're on a picnic blanket in the middle of a beautiful field somewhere and it's a bright, hot, sunny day. And he's just massaging her hips because she is having her bleed. What's irked you so much about this that you sent it to me and now you're bringing it to the show? I'm quite intrigued because

I would just have scrolled past that. Because it's total bullshit. Which part? All of it! All of it! Do me a favor. You lie down in a field on a picnic blanket with your top off and Ollie takes his top off and he massages your hips to ease your pain disease. Is that how it works in your household? Well, I think more to the point. Also, we set up a camera with perfect lighting to film it. Oh, you do do you? Oh yeah. Every month. What I'm saying is like, who's got the fucking time to be massaged by your hot husband in a field on a picnic blanket whilst bleeding and he's so in tune with you that he is able to know how to massage your hips to ease your fucking period pains. A people who've literally just got married, just got married. And B, maybe if he is some sort of women's

health massage practitioner, he's otherwise no. But I'm just saying that I don't know anyone who behaved this way. Well, I decided after you sent it to me, Ollie was sitting next to me. I showed him. I showed I showed Adam to watch this. He was like, what am I looking at? Yeah, that's exactly what I said. When we go on holiday next week, I am going to have my period. So would you do this massage on me? And he was like, whatever you want. I said, no, no, I'm being serious. Like if we're on the beach, will you do this massage with me for my period pains? He's like, sure, whatever you like. I was like, would you know how to do this massage? I think he was just really deep in

a document trying to sort his workout. And he just thought, I don't know what mad shit she's coming out with now. I'm just going to say yes to whatever it is because then maybe she'll go away and stop with her mad nonsense. I showed my husband and he was like watching it and he was like, I don't understand. I'm like, well, just watch it. Well, I don't understand what I'm watching. I'm like, well, you're watching a husband massage a wife's hips. He's like, well, why am I watching this? I'm like, why don't you just read it? Like just, you know, just take it in. Why have I got to explain it to you? He goes, helps ease with her bleed. What's her bleed? What's her bleed? Like says the man with two

daughters and a wife who's we've been together 20 years. Yeah. He's like, was that her period? I'm like, yes, yes, that's her period. That's just, you're not going to do this. I use what you want me to do is to be honest with you. I don't even know when my periods coming anywhere. I had a fucking bleed. Surprise for everybody. Surprise for everyone. I mean, over the years, very occasionally, I've sent him out to buy tan packs. Like if he's out shopping and I've run out and he'll always say, always, what flavor? What flavor do you want? Do you want the green or the orange? You know, they're not flavored. I'm just just, it's not lemon or apple. I don't know how many times I have

to spell this out. It's like when the kids were really little, the boys used to find them in my handbag and then they'd have a massive argument about who got the lemon and who got the lime. And I'd be like, knock yourself out guys. Pick whichever one you want. They're not tasty. I guess what's annoyed me about it is a they're both in their prime of life. I see. Right. Maybe. Yeah. And also they're just so connected and they have so much free time and they're just so in love and to the point where they're just so connected and they have so much free time and they're just so in love and to the point where they're just so bonded that he knows how to help ease her fucking pain. It's like they bear, they do not live with teenagers. I'll just say.

I just said to you, they've like, if it is her actual husband, they've just got married. These are not people who've had a baby or probably even thinking about having a baby. They're not dealing with teenagers. They're not dealing with neurodiversity. They're not dealing with schools and curfews. Nicole, we were there once. We were those people. Well, we're not. Well, we are not there now. No, because we're 40ish now, but we were there once and it was a lovely time. Well, maybe that's why I'm upset. Okay. You're just feeling, is it because it's your birthday today? You're just feeling? No, no, I don't. I don birthday today? You're just feeling... No. No?

I don't get weird about my birthday. I do. I know. I don't like that every, as March turns around, I creep ever closer to the grave. I'm not into that shit, but you know, others are. Well, happy birthday to me. We have had yet more feedback on penis beaker. Penis beaker, if you missed that episode and why would you miss that episode? You've got to go back to it. Was the woman who asked

if it was unusual that they had a sex station on their bedside table and a beaker of water. A sex cleaning station. Yes, where her husband dunked her his penis after sex. To clean it. Yeah. Kara said, Hi both, just catching up on hashtag penis beaker. I am fully mortified at the idea, but I think you missed an important question.

Who fills the penis beaker and when? Is it a case of, oh darling, we're going to bed now. Don't forget to fill the penis beaker. How romantic. I think when you've been married a really long time, you know when you're going to bed to have sex. Yeah, totes. It's never. Well, mostly. Not always. It's very rarely a surprise. Come on. You know from probably about midday if you're going to be having sex at night. No, actually no. Oh. No, I don't agree with that. Sometimes yes. Not always no.

What? Sometimes it's impromptu is it? Actually, I'd say over 70% of the time. Wow. Yeah. But I'm absolutely not adverse to the many people who schedule it. No, no, no, no, no. It's like I'm totally cool. No, I'm not saying we have never scheduled anything. That is cool to schedule, by the way. I'm not against that. Yeah. But also you've got to be in the mood and you know, I like to take it with the mood. What I'm saying is the day. I get what you're day, you just know how you're getting along and everything

else kind of, and then you lead into the evening and it's never a surprise if you're having sex that evening. But I am sometimes quite a surprising person. You know, you never know what you're getting with me. So it's not always obvious. Okay. My household. But I know what you mean. What I'm saying is. They know to fill the beaker. They know to fill the beaker because they usually know when you're about to have sex. I know what you mean.

I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Salingly said. And also when you were sorry to say, I don't know if they've got teenagers, but when you've got teenagers, have I mentioned I've got teenagers? Like there's not a lot of opportunity. So you have to take it when the opportunity is there. You have to be in the mood and you have to take the opportunity when you've got it. Okay. Mine don't

infiltrate my bedroom. So it's not an issue for me where they are. They don't come up to my room. But you're on a different floor. Yeah. Makes a big difference. Because when Daisy goes to bed, she passes my door. So she always comes in to say good night. Oh, I see. No, no, my children don't come in to say good night. And Lily Rose often just barges in because she's lost something or wants something or it's just no. Right.

Okay. It's too risky. Oh, we have a different setup. So yeah, there's no risk involved. Okay. Um, sellingly said, I nearly peed myself walking to work listening to this awesome episode. Ladies, definitely P to the B. Penis to the beaker. I hope they don't have kids. Salingly said, I nearly peed myself walking to work listening to this awesome episode ladies. Definitely P to the B.

Penis to the beaker. I hope they don't have kids. Mummy, I was so thirsty I had a drink from the beaker in your room. What I said on the show, I hope they don't have a cat. Yeah. Because cats always do that. That's grim. And someone, SLK0116 said, I am cracking up.

The poor man obviously uses up all his energy so he can only roll over to dunk in the beeper after the deed. That is such a good point. Like, can't you just get up? Or not dunk it? Or just leave it? Yeah. It'll be fine. It will be fine. Like it won't drop off.

Lauren you know me and you know when it comes to answering the listeners dilemmas and when it comes to food I always trust my gut and And I also trust Zoe, the leading size and nutrition company. All the nutritionists that we've spoken to on Self Care Club have highlighted just how much misleading information is out there when it comes to food. Things like the claims that you see on packaging that say things like low sugar or nothing artificial. These are often assigned to actually avoid these foods. Ever noticed a health claim on fresh fruit? No, never.

Right, well you get my point. So it's completely understandable why there's so much distrust and wondering who you should turn to for accurate information. Well it's very simple, it's not a dilemma for us, we use Zoe. Backed by one of the world's largest microbiome databases and most scientifically advanced at home gut health tests, Zoe gives you proven science whenever you need it. Go to Zoe.com and find out what Zoe Membership could do for you, and because you listen to

Fortyish you can use the exclusive code 40ISH10 at checkout to get 10% off membership. As a Zoe Member you'll get an at-home test kit and personalised nutrition programme to help you make smarter food choices that support your gut. That's z-o-e dot com, use code 40ish10 at checkout. Trust your gut, trust Zoe. With the Fizz loyalty programme, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. So that's Peanut Speaker Gate.

Yes. Also, do you remember we did, um, which middle-aged spice girl would you be? Yeah. Well, I put that out to pasture to see what we get back. We had a few responses. Oh, I like the first one. In fact, we've got a whole band. Have we? We've got new spice girls.

Air fryer spice. I love air fryer spice. I could be air fryer spice. You totally could. I really could be air fryer spice. ADHD spice? Yeah. I could be.

I just found my neuro spicy spice. Neuro spicy spice. Yeah. I could be, I've just found my neuro spicy spice. Neuro spicy spice. Yes. Rosacea spice. I could just be spicy spice now that I'm in the thick of the peri-medicals. I can be spicy. Yeah, you can. I mean that in a moody way. Yeah. Spicy spice. Yeah. Rosacea spice. Okay. Is that you? Cause you were moaning about your skin the other day. It's not me yet, but who knows? Uh, Costco spice. Costco spice. You'd like that. I would. I'm here for that. But you have to go with someone cause you're not a member. Yeah. So we always have to like sneak you in. Fake member of Costco. Sneaking in Costco. You're so weird about Costco. What is this? Let's talk about it. You know, I have a Costco card. I didn't know that. Yeah, I do. I just don't like to go

alone. I don't like to go alone. Is it the driving? No, because I have done that drive and I'm okay with it. Okay. All right with it. I just don't take the motorway route. That's fine. You don't have to. I don't take the motorway route either. Some people do. Some people don't. I just don't like to go to Costco alone. It's a very sociable trip for me. You just heard it. I said it. I heard it. I was like, what? No, that's like going to Paris, Lauren. That's a sociable thing that you do with other people. Going to Costco, it's not an outing, except it kind of is. It is. It's an outing for me. The thing is, I've been to Costco with you twice. And what happens is when you walk into

Costco, you are so overwhelmed and overstimulated that you just disappear in Costco. I need a bit of reining in. I think that's the other thing. No, but you go off on your own anyway in Costco. Sometimes. And then you come back with like the biggest load of shit in your trolley. And I'm like, when are you going to drink the peach gin? I mean, just take it out.

I need some reining in. I need someone to say to me, no. But it's not like you can never go. You don't live that far from Costco. You don't need 18 pairs of those socks. No. Put it back. Oh, I just get this. Oh, I just get that. Yeah. I'm like that. Yeah, you are like that. A little magpie. You are a little magpie in Costco. But I don't know why you need to go with people because you

just disappear anyway. I've just told you why. For the company and the reigning in. Oh, the reigning in. Yeah. Oh, I didn't realize that's just using us. It's me and Eliza that you go with mainly. Eliza. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Is everyone listening? I'm like a Costco sluts. You really are. You're Costco sluts spice. I'm wholesale spice. Wholesale goods loving spice. Did you have any more thoughts about your own spice girl?

No. I mean Tupperware spice was great. I was quite happy with Tupperware spice. I mean, you were talking on the show last week about how much you love a platter. Oh, I love a platter. You could be a platter spice. I don't think anyone would understand that. Because you know, Tupperware's spice is quite self explanatory. Yeah, serving platter spice. It doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but it's the same theme.

No, neither is Neuro Spicy Spice. No, I quite like Neuro Spicy Spice. I reckon that's for me. I could also be Aldi Middle Isle Spice because that's like the minor version of Costco because it's like not a warehouse. It's just a middle aisle of stuff. What do you mean a middle aisle? You know the Aldi Middle Isle, it has all the shit that isn't food or drink. It's like cast scrapers and coloring books and slippers.

They have that in those big Tesco's as well though. Do they? Like the Tesco's, what they're called, the Tesco's. It doesn't have a name. Like the Aldi Middle Isle, that's a whole thing. It's a whole thing that everyone knows about. I don't think I've ever been to an Aldi. Banging. banging.

Right, we have a we listen and don't judge confession. Oh, please read it. There is a woman who used to be a fellow mom in my son's primary school. I can't stand her. She was always a sanctimonious bitch. Jesus, I hadn't seen her in over seven years. Yesterday I was having lunch with my cousin in a local cafe and she came over to say hi. Time has not been kind. She's put on about four stone and I was delighted in capital letters. Okay, I'm happy to listen to that and not judge. Are you? I mean, I kind of like want a lot more information about what makes her sanctimonious. Yeah, me too. But listen, it's always good to see someone that you really don't like and then they have not fat. Yeah, it is good. Or they've just not aged well. You know, my dad often says that

he'll see something on to see someone on TV and he'll be like, Oh, time has not been kind. Yeah. He always says that. Yeah. Well, you don't see it on TV so often, do you? Well, you'll see like an actor who you haven't seen in 20 years and you're like, fucking yeah. I tell you, you know, documentary. Yeah, Mikey. Oh, Mikey. He's unrecognizable. It's like that guy ate Mikey. But he doesn't even, there is nothing familiar about him now. Nothing at all. Like I would never ever ever in a million years, if I sat and had to speak to him for an hour on my own and someone said, guess who this guy is? I would never guess it. No, never. Because they're

showing you Ronan. Wow. Ronan is like aging like a fine wine. He's looking better, better than ever. He was always handsome. Ronan was always handsome. He was always handsome. He was very pretty and now he's still pretty. He's still pretty, less pretty, but handsome. Good. He looks great. Like Gary Barlow. He aged like Gary Barlow did. He got better with age. Gary Barlow got better. The other two, they're a bit dog on a rope for me. They're not my kind. Not Keith. Keith. Keith looks great.

They look good, but they're a bit rough around the edges for me. I like a bit of rough around the edges. Okay. But they look good. But Mikey. Mikey does not look good. I can't say Mikey was around the edges. Okay. But they look good. But Mikey. Mikey does not look good. I can't say Mikey was actually my favorite. Why? I just loved him. I even forgot he was in it.

No, I never forgot he was in it. But I did see him then they... Were you a big Boyzone fan? Massive, but I like them. But they went from Mikey as he was to Mikey now. And you're like, what? What? Yeah. What? He just doesn't... Happened. Time has not been kind, Lauren. Time he just doesn't he time has not been kind

time has not been kind and I think he's really suffered like mentally from being in that band and fame and everything I think I don't think it's good for anybody no I really don't it's not a natural way that's why we're not famous yeah that's why I would want to be famous anyway would you absolutely hate it Especially I was thinking about this morning. The show or this morning? No, not the show. Actually this morning as I woke up, I'm talking about the actual morning. Not the show. 10th of February this morning. Yeah. It was 7.20. I was in, I mean, I want to say pajamas. It wasn't even pajamas. It was just clothes, clothes, clothes that I found on the floor. That's what I was doing. That I put on. So I wasn't freezing cold or in pants. Yeah. Making breakfast for Josh.

And the dog decided, you know, I think he has some dementia going on. So for some reason this morning at 7.20, he decided, I think I'm a six month old puppy, bolted out the front door. I mean, he never does that. And then just started running up the street. I don't know why, because he can't even really run. Why was the door open? I had to open the front door to take a dustbin liner out and he just bolted. I mean, sorry, sorry. I opened the front door.

A lot has happened and you've missed out things. I opened the front door to put a bin liner outside the front door to take to the bins later. And as I opened the front door, he was like, yeah, I'm a puppy, even though I'm nearly 16 and can't actually walk and I'm just going to run. And he ran and started running up the street. And there were like cars leaving and stuff. So I had to go out in my outfit and slippers out in my outfit and slippers and catch him. And I can't even tell you the state of me this morning. I just thought, you know, if I was, if anyone saw me, my neighbor did see me. It was fucking mortifying. Did they recognize you? It wasn't like a Mikey situation.

No, he was my actual neighbor. No, I know he was your actual neighbor. Did he recognize me? Because I look so terrible. No, because we're talking about, I assume there is a point to this story. The point is if I was famous and I was out looking like that, like it would be much more embarrassing than the fact that I'm nobody out looking like that. You're not famous. And I'm still embarrassed.

Yes, but if I was, it would be much more embarrassing. That is like, that is like saying, oh my God,... well I can't I haven't got another analogy. If you have an image to keep up, if you're JLo and you have this fabulous image you don't want photos of you looking like shit. So I see so your moment your brush with fame this morning was basically like saying oh I feel sorry for all the famous people because they always have to look good. Yeah because I can look like shit all the time it doesn't matter. You don't ever look like shit ever. Believe me. You don't.

I know you've seen me in the mornings, but you didn't see me this morning. We didn't see me this morning either. Not on the show this morning, but this morning. I'd like to see you on this morning. Not as in the show. Would you? I really would.

I'd be a bit scared about what would come out of your mouth. Me too. Which is probably why I'm not on this morning. Well we would be on this morning. They'd cut straight to a break. Wouldn't we? We would, but I just feel like they'd cut to a break. You know?

Or I'd say something and Alison Hammond would crease up and it would, because it was inappropriate. And it would be clickbait for the next three months and I'd be like, fuck's sake It's supposed to be about self-care and being middle-aged and you've just brought it back to vaginas It would totally be about vagina. Yeah, yeah What's okay cuz we're not on this morning. No one's asking us. It's fine, right again lucky. You're not famous. So lucky lucky We're not on because we've already got you cancelled before we've even gone on. Yeah, so yes Thank God we are who we are stay anonymous. Yeah. I like it like that. Do you? Yeah. I would like to be a little bit more well known. I wouldn't. I'm very happy. I don't mean about being well known. I mean just, I mean just for the podcast to grow more. Oh, they can enjoy

the show. Oh, they're allowed. Anyone is allowed to enjoy the show. Orally. Just by ear. Yeah. Anyone can enjoy the show, but don't make me like get dressed. Orally. Orally. Auditory. Auditory. Orally with an A. A. U. Not orally. That's not what I meant. And you know that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant and you know that's not what I meant. You're actually giving me more credit. I'll go with it but that isn't what I meant. Enjoy your audio experience of us. That's what I mean. Someone wrote in a review. I was so excited. I was going through all our reviews yesterday. And they said, someone, oh I was so excited because I'm a big fan of self care club, but I'm really sorry they don't stop screaming and talking over each other. Oh, sorry. But don't we do that on the other show as well? I thought we did. Yeah, I'm sure

we do. I think we're more polite. We're probably we rein it in a bit more on that show. Anyway. Yeah. Sorry. We're going to go now. Okay. Can we go to Costco? It's my birthday. What a treat. What better outing. We will be back on Thursday with the main show. Thank you.