40ish - Waistbands, Wash Day & Wandering Wires

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

Today on 40ish: Lauren finally reaches laundry nirvana… until the puppy redecorates the bed with vomit. Meanwhile, Nicole has officially hit the stage where only an elasticated waistband will do.  Our listeners aren’t having it easy either: one woman needs to break the news that her friend’s dream haircut is giving Dudley Moore  rather than Demi Moore (IYKYK) and another is ranting about the great mystery of the disappearing phone chargers. (We feel your pain.)  We love to hear from you! To share your feedback, dilemmas, rants, funny stories or general complaints about midlife please be in touch at: Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 This episode is sponsored by London Nootropics Get 20% off at LondonNootropics.com with the code 40ISH To book tickets for our live show in October click here: https://cheerfulearful.podlifeevents.com/festival/40ish---live-from-cheerful-earful-podcast-festival-16-oct-2025-tickets?clientside_routing=true Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everybody. Welcome to 40-ish. I'm Nicole Goodman and I'm Lauren Mishcom. This is the podcast where we tackle 40-something life, your dilemmas, your stories, your meltdowns and indeed our own. And please don't forget that you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts, early access, add free listening across both this show and Self Care Club. And sometimes we surprise you a little bit of bonus content that you're getting nice. We do. We've dropped the odd episode, don't we? Nobody else can hear it. And that is over at Apple Podcasts. Come over, come over a subscription. I think it's $4.99 a month. I think it gives. Yes.

And if you've got something to share, please share it. Big or small, we don't care. Meltdowns, dilemmas, questions, thoughts about being in your 40s, anything. We want to hear it. Hello at 40ish.com.com. And the last thing is, you can watch this video every week on Spotify. Lucky old you. you can listen to it on any other podcast platform.

What's your 40-ish thing today? Oh, it's so, it's short and it's sweet. It's not that sweet. It's just very short. My youngest son has become what I would call a vinted entrepreneur. He buys, he sells, always at profit. Sometimes I have to invest a little into the buying and then I get my cut back. It's become a daily thing.

It's almost like a full-time job. When he's not at school, he's buying and selling. This is great. I'm the muggins that has to go to the every postal shop with all his little parcels most of the time. But anyway, the other day I was trying to tell somebody that he was a little entrepreneur, just like Alan, Alan, Alan. But I couldn't remember the surname.

And I'm going, The Apprentice, Alan, you know, the guy that you're fired, Alan and I could not get the name Sugar it was so bad I had to Google it and I was like

Sugar Alan Sugar why you know when the name just drops you know whose name dropped and it's actually now dropped

so I can't remember what the fucking name he's a very famous actor oh my God it's so annoying he's in nativity but obviously he's such a famous actor

Martin Freeman. Thank you. But poor guys should not be known for Nativity. I was just thinking like, what? Surely you mean Sherlock Holmes? Only where I can get him. The Hobbit. Martin Freeman.

And sometimes when I'm testing my brain fog, I test myself, what's the actor from Nativity? Right. Today I couldn't get it. Well, yeah. Martin Freeman. Alan Sugar. There we go. That's my most 40-ish thing.

What's yours? I was on the phone to, no, Daisy was on the phone to her best friend last night. and they were in my dressing room and her friend was on the phone. I don't know, we were just all chatting the three of us. She goes, oh, do you remember the time that you forgot that word, the word for iPad? I'm like, look, you are 17.

Okay, when you are 47, you are going to understand how easy it is to forget the word iPad. I said, I also forgot the word stairs. She goes, oh, yeah, that was it, stairs. It was the same week. You were like, the things that you go up and then you come down, what, do you mean stairs? Yeah, them.

Stairs and iPad. That was good. It wasn't good. iPad I can understand stairs iPad, come on Yeah I still call them AirPods

And the kids hate that Yeah but you don't forget it No I just don't know what they called in the first place AirPods AirPods Yeah But I'm not one to judge

Because I forgot the word iPod iPad I whatever And stairs My Foughtish thing This weekend I said this on self-care club I'm going to say it here again

I had a whole weekend of playing sport going to the gym dropping the kids in places and that was it there was no restaurant there was no alcoholic beverages there was no nothing

so fucking wholesome it was blissful I was in bed early and you know what I didn't have to get dressed I was just wearing gym gear and then today at leisure

yeah you always say an American accent Because it's so American. Yeah. But it isn't, is it? But you can't say ath leisure. It just sounds so weird. Athleisure. It sounds so...

Stiff. Stiff. Yeah. Anyway. You could say athleisure. You could, but again, it's a bit weird. So you can only say with an American accent. That's right.

Yeah. That's the rule. It's a shit rule. Anyway. No, well, I'm just saying. Like, I was very happy. And also, I have decided that I only want to wear things with elasticated waistbands. Remember post-COVID.

That's very golden girls, can I just say. Remember it post-COVID? Oh my God. Golden girls, FYI, I am older than the golden girls. Well, you're older than some but younger than others. No. Only Sophia. Sophia, yeah.

How was her name? Yeah, that was her name. Why love it? She was like 80. You're definitely younger than her. Hello, I got her name. Sophia. Sophia.

Let's see if we could do them. Blanche, Rose, Sophia. Dorothy. No, she's my favourite. I wouldn't have got Dorothy. be Arthur she's my favourite anyway

40 year anniversary is golden girls did you know that it's coming back what do you mean the golden girls they're rebooting the show oh come on

are you telling me they're rebooting the show I'm looking at you like how could you not know that they're rebooting the show what the fuck yeah with who

I can't remember I'll look it up shut up this is big for you this is major is it I have a golden girl Jump her sweatshirt that I adore.

I nearly bought a Golden Girls Snow Globe last Christmas. For who? For myself. Why? Because I love the Golden Girls. And what do you walk around like singing the theme tune? I have it on my Spotify favourites list. Oh, it came up? Yeah. Now I have it.

Is that your theme tune, do you think? Like if you had one theme tune. It's definitely not my theme tune. What is your theme tune? That's a good one. Theme tunes. I cannot tell you that on the spot. I think mine changed because my friend and I used to have theme tunes. and I'm going back when I was in my 20s so surely it's changed now

I think we should have a think about that okay I can't tell you now on the spot but it's definitely not the Golden Girls one it might be more littlest hobo vibes I think Golden Girls is a good call for you okay I'm going to have to seriously Google this reboot anyway elasticated clothes

you only want to wear elasticated waists like COVID vibes I just can't be bothered to get dressed I'm happy I'm comfortable you're in an elasticated wasted jumpsuit today. Look, I am. You're keeping it cozy. You can only see this on Spotify. Yeah, I am.

Oh, on our socials. But yeah, look, I'm cozy, I'm comfy. Because what happens is I put a pair of jeans on and the minute I get in the house, I take them off again. Do you? Yeah. Instantly. Interesting.

I can't sit in jeans. I can't cook in jeans. It's too much. Too much. Everything's too much. I don't like this for you. Why? I don't like this for you.

because you're a woman who likes fashion. I do. I'm getting dressed. And that involves waistbands, you know? It's got a waistband. Yeah, but I mean... It's elasticated. Okay.

I'm just... Okay, but don't let it slide. Well, what would be sliding? Like, you'll only wear a caftan. I don't wear caftans. You know, that's the next thing. Like, even the waistbands too much. Excuse me.

Oh, maybe. You know what I mean? You wear a lot of caftan's. Not dating. on holiday I'm all over that shit but I wouldn't wear it like to the studio of a Tuesday morning that is a lie that is a lie I've ever worn a caftan oh come on what you mean many summer dresses yeah actually they're all caftan vibes mu mu mu that's what they call them in america mumo that's my dog that's her nickname yes uh no I wouldn't wear like a gauzy I'm not giving up on life

I've had my nails done, I've blowdried my hair. I've been to the gym, I've walked the dog, I've seen a friend. You know, I'm here working. Right. Everything is okay. You do not need to. I'm not giving up on life. Okay, good.

I'm going to keep an eye on this. Yeah, you look very worried. I'm a little concerned. Should I be concerned? I don't know. I don't know. Let's see how we go over the winter period and Christmas. If you don't get dressed up and you insist on wearing your athleisure to like Christmas parties, I'll be concerned.

Before we jump into your day lemons, a quick disclaimer. We are not doctors or healthcare professionals. So if you are, I'm doing this, I'm doing this at the top of my head. Go on then. There's not, it's not in the script. No. If you are seriously struggling, please contact a qualified expert. Yeah, not us or Martin Freeman.

Oh, Martin Freeman! I couldn't think it was they were about to drop it in. It's like, you see, you see I can do it. I knew you were. Could you see me ticking away? And all I could think was Will Ferrell? I don't know. I could see the brain moving.

I see the cogs. Martin. What the name? I didn't even get Martin, I only got Will. Okay, no that. Will Ferrell from, what's, elf. From elf and other films. He was great in Elf.

He's great in everything. This dilemma I think is. more for you than for me to solve. I'll read it to you. Okay. My friend is in the middle of a messy divorce and understandably she's gone into reinvention mode and I'm totally cheering her on with that. But the problem is she wants to get this haircut that is frankly hideous. Oh God. I am talking about a bowl cut with chunky red highlights. Why would she want to do that? To describe it best, it's like that episode of Friends where Phoebe cuts Monica's hair like Dudleymore instead of Demi Moore.

I love that episode. So what do I do? On the one hand, I want to be supportive. You will be supportive. She's fragile. She's starting over. She deserves to feel empowered.

On the other hand, if I let her walk around looking like a middle-aged divorced member of a Beatles tribute act, am I being a terrible friend? Yes, categorically. So what do you say? Don't get that haircut.

Don't do not get that haircut. So if I say to you, listen, I'm going divorced, I want to change my hair up. This is what I'm thinking and I love it. And it's absolutely amazing. what are your thoughts

what would you say to me I'd say that is disgusting don't get that that is disgusting yeah that's quite harsh well I think she needs to be quite listen the only important thing here

is that her friend looks good feels good all of that right we're here to empower her friend yeah right if she gets a hideous haircut she's not going to feel any of those things

it's going to make everything because let's be honest a bad haircut makes everything worse in your life everything every single thing you cannot get away from a bad haircut

you just cannot I always hate having my hair cut and I always hate it the next day I'm always angry when I get my haircuts I hate getting it cut so I understand

but it doesn't mean that it's a bad haircut no I just hate getting it cut but could you say something a little gentler like you know what I like the colour that maybe you could. No. No.

Or I'll tell you what. What? Let me deal with this. What's this woman's name who's written in? She hasn't said. Okay. Mrs. Haven't said, or Miss haven't said. Let me deal with this.

I'll set straight. Well, get the friend to send the photo of the intended haircut to you and then you can give suggestions as to what she should do instead. I am a professional. I know. I think that's good advice. Send a photo of your friend's current hair and Nicole will give her idea.

for a new style that isn't Dudleymore. There's going to make her feel feminine, beautiful, sexy, revamped. She wants to chop. What I'm hearing is she wants to take it off. I get it. She wants to cut that man right out of her hair. Yeah. Yeah.

She wants to cut that manner. She wants to shed. Yeah. And I'm here for that. And I think changes as good as a rest. Yeah. I really do. I really do believe that.

And all the times that I had breakups, the first thing I did was cut my hair. What if it was already short like it is now? No, there's a million things I can do to my hair. Okay. Okay. Oh, change the colour or something. You know, something. Yeah.

Maybe she should just change the colour. We don't know what her hair's like. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. If it's like really wispy and gross and neat to cut, then that's one thing. Yeah. But if she goes to a good hairdresser that understands her and her situation, then you can go gently. Like, it's like when my colourist came over and I said to him, I want to go bleach blonde. Yeah.

And I really meant it. I'm so glad you didn't. And I'm an expert. Yeah. You know, I'm a hair. expert. So with 30 years experience, might I add, and he looked at me and he said, okay, well, you're

going through something and that's a no. He was right. He was totally right. And he wouldn't. And I was really crushed and upset. But honestly, three days later, I was so happy I wasn't bleach blonde. I'm so glad that he said no. Yeah. It wasn't even a discussion. So what I'm saying is if she goes to

the right person and the right professional who maybe knows her and knows what she's going through, hopefully she'll get the correct advice. Okay. So the friend should not just suck it up and say, yeah, yeah. No, that's great. I guess the question is what is a supportive friend?

And I always think being a supportive friend means sometimes saying the thing that they don't want to hear. Don't you? Yes, I know, but it depends very much on the situation. I just want to like, I understand the intention behind it. I don't know. Being a supportive friend is not. following her blindly making a bad decision also what's hideous to her the other woman might think is fabulous it sounds disgusting it does sound terrible it doesn't sound very um fashionable or

feminine or maybe she doesn't want to be any of those things yeah maybe she just wants a new completely new but she can have a new completely new look she could do all of those things and still look great I mean no one wants to look like Dudley more no apart from Dudley more Maybe even if he doesn't want to look like this more. One of the first lessons I ever learned in hairdressing, nobody wants to look worse. Every single solitary person on this planet wants to look better or wants to look good. True, true. Everybody.

True. Don't get who you are. That is a universal thing. True. Here is a quick quiz that I found online. It's called, if you've said these eight phrases, you're officially middle-aged. shall we do the quiz? God.

Okay. That's the title of the quiz. Is it one point per tick or something? Yeah, there's eight. Okay. Eight phrases. Okay. Shall I keep a tally?

Keep a tally on your fingers. Right. I'm left. You're all right. Okay. Number one. Let's do dinner at six. I've got an early morning.

No. No. If it's not on my calendar, it doesn't exist. Yeah. For me, I don't think I've said the phrase, but like that is true. If I haven't written it down, I'm not going to know. No, I wouldn't remember if it's not on my calendar.

Okay, so one all, one all. Okay. Can we turn it down a notch? It's a little loud. Oh, yes. I'm putting yours up, definitely. A hundred percent. I go to restaurants now that are too loud.

I can't stand it. But what's the point? You can't talk. Too loud, too dark. Turn the lights up, turn the music down. No, don't mind about the lights. You can't read the menu. Okay, so you use your torch.

No. Fuck that. Number four, back in my day. No. You do. I think I do. I have said that. You do. If not, you should. Because it's very you. It's very, very me. Number five, I don't bounce back like I used to. Well, I don't really say that phrase, but I, but I, but I don't. I don't bounce back like I used to. You have a much worse time with hangovers. Yeah. Than me. I'm giving me. We're three apiece.

Six. Who are these people everyone's posting about? I mean, a lot of the time I don't, I don't know who people are. Yeah. So there's a guy who is on strictly now who is, uh, YouTuber Never seen or heard of him in my life Max walks in the room He's like oh it's blah blah blah blah I'm like who? Yeah

So yeah Poor each Seven I only have bandwidth For my people I mean you could have written that That is yours Yeah Isn't that yours

You're boundworth for everyone With five apiece at the moment Eight Do you need Advil I have some in my bag Oh yeah I mean I literally have some in my bag Right now

Always not Adville No I literally have them From America I bought a travel paper pack. In fact, I bought three when I was in America this summer because they're so useful. Aren't Advil just paracetamol? They're actually ibuprofen, but you only need one. They are.

Do you actually only need one? Yeah, you do. What, they're 400 milligrams? Well, they're a double dose of what you get here, so yeah. Okay. You could probably buy them in all different doses. It doesn't matter, it's not about that. We were six apiece. Were we? Yeah. Okay. Well, then we are officially middle age. But we are officially mid-aged. We need that already, right? And I'm all right with that. I'm still not alright with it, but I'll have to get

all right with it, because soon I'll be older. Yeah, that. What is that then called? Old. Old. Upper age. But, you know, with middle age, it should be upper age, you have like middle school and upper school. No, high school.

Middle school, high school? I don't know. I don't want to be in those schools. High age. Middle school, middle age, high age. I want to be back in reception. No, you don't. I do.

I don't. Okay. What's your meltdown this week, Nicole Goodman? Do you have one? I do. Oh. I really do have one. Do you want to share it with the listeners?

It's basically washing. No, no, no, I know this is like a boring, obvious meltdown. That's what we're here for. It is right. Yeah. And I was thinking about it as I was doing it yesterday because I was thinking, oh, we're recording tomorrow. What's my meltdown? What's my 40-ish thing?

I was trying to think of, you know, and then I always have to write it down. Otherwise, I'm going to completely forget. And as I was doing the washing, I was thinking, well, I don't really have a meltdown. Fucked off that I'm doing the washing. And I'm like, well, my meltdown is this. I'm doing the washing. again on a Sunday afternoon right it's endless it's thankless it's boring but it is totally necessary and then I started thinking endless thankless boring and totally necessary

I so fucking middle age what else is endless thankless boring and totally necessary well it turns out a lot of things in middle age are endless thankless boring and totally necessary most things yeah yeah most things are and if that doesn't define middle age and I don't know what does so come on what else is like period Having your period. Well, I don't think periods are thankless. Well, they are. Well, they're not.

Well, they're not. The actual period. And they're also not endless. Well, they feel it. They're not. I mean, they will end. When will they end? Let them end.

Before the washing. Yeah, that is true. Before the washing. Yeah. I do sometimes have the thought, if I died, would the washing ever get done? Or would there just be after a month a pile so big that everyone would just only.

have one pair of pants left in the house. No, I think the washing would get done. I don't think it would. I do. I do. I think there'd be a lot more screaming of where are my jeans? Where's my sports kit? It wouldn't be as efficient but it would get done. Can I just take your laundry thing and just take it to a new level? This morning I was feeling a little bit smug because as we know, towel change day, Sunday. I decided to do them early. Do them, dry them, put them away. This morning I had, and this is very, very rare, zero laundry, zero. Every bag, every basket was empty and everything was folded and put away in cupboards. I'd reach Nirvana, like a point that few women ever reach in their lives. And I was like, wow, this Monday morning, it's

freedom. It's special. It's special. I'm thinking about a week. And if you woke up, like, this is great. I get to go to the studio today. Tomorrow we've got a lunch thing. Wednesday, we've got this sale thing. Like, you know, this is a nice week. By the way, by Wednesday there will be washing. No, I know, but I was just thinking how lovely to start the week like this. No laundry and like nice things in the diary. That's why I always do leg day. Right.

By 704, the day was already ruined. Did someone take off a t-shirt that was dirty? No, I get a call from upstairs. Ollie calling me, calling me, calling me. And I just think, whatever he's saying to me... I don't care. Whatever it is, it's not good. Whatever it is at 704, it's...

It's not a good thing. It's not like, by the way, I love you. You look stunning in your nighty. Do you want to go out to dinner tonight? It's not going to be that, right? No. I'm like, what? I don't know.

He's quite romantic, your husband. He is quite romantic, but not often at 704. No, okay. So he comes downstairs. We're all on the edge of our seat, by the way, with what he was going to say to you. The puppy's been sick on the bed. Obviously, our bed, the super king. And then literally just left, just left the house.

And I thought, okay, do you know what? How bad can it be? I've got a blanket on my bed. Maybe it's just on the duve. I'll just whip the duve off. Stick it in the wash, doesn't matter. It's going to be fine. And I've got no other laundry soup.

I go upstairs. I will just preface this by saying that for breakfast this morning, she had ready brek with blueberries in it. All right, we've got it. Okay. We got it. None of it was digested. We got it.

She somehow managed to hit the blanket, the duvet, and the sheet. Tell you, it was lucky she looks good. It had seeped through Nicole to the mattress protector. I had, so I have five, five loads of laundry to do. And my day was fucking ruined. That wasn't even my meltdown. It's just you reminded me because of your laundry meltdown. That wasn't even my meltdown.

Well, it is. Well, it clearly is now. Fuck that. I'm sorry. It's all I can say is I am sorry for you. And then the little cow came. No, that's not allowed. No, it's not nice.

Looking at me, he's signature, and I just stuck my little finger up at her. I did. I just, I thought she doesn't even understand because she's a dog. My dog is like phasing me out. Yeah. She is giving you the right cold shelter this morning. What is going on? She's very happy to see me though.

Thanks for that. Thanks for that. She won't sit with me. She wouldn't come up to bed with me last night. she just will not come anywhere near me she loved her daddy she's like really into daddy at the moment but daddy doesn't walk her

and daddy doesn't feed her and daddy doesn't change her water well he does something that she likes whatever it is what I don't know it's annoying and then I keep telling her yesterday I got so annoyed there and I'm like you know what I had a whole chat with her I'm like this is not cool

because you know I'm the one that looks after you I'm the one that gets you groomed you're as beautiful as you are because of me you know no one would fucking feed this dog No, I know. And she doesn't show me any love at the moment. I'll tell you what, I'm not feeding mine again. Certainly not.

Ready break with blueberries. Yeah. Should we go on to the list of the meltdown? Why is it that every single fucking phone charger in my house has mysteriously disappeared? Oh, my God. I hear you. I find myself on a daily hunt and usually end up with some frayed piece of wire

that only works if I hold it a 47 degree angle and balance it on a stack of cookbooks, yes. Meanwhile, my kids and my partner teams have fully charged devices at all times. When I dare to ask if they have seen mine, they all look at me like I've offended them, but a USB dash C cannot grow legs and walk out of the house, Julia.

Oh, Julia, yes. All I do on Amazon is by charges and needs. buy fucking chargers. I don't know where they go. It's so annoying. I had two proper Apple chargers for my laptop. Yeah.

Both have gone. Like gone. They have got legs and they have walked away. No. I very passively aggressively put red nail polish on the plug of mine with an L. So I thought whichever bastard steals it. Yeah. I will be able to see that.

Name and shame. Yeah. Because they can't. Anyway, gone. Gone, but like completely gone. Gone. Gone. Yeah.

again, then Josh had a sleepover on Saturday night, two of them, well, he's charged my phone, you can't my phone. Could I charge my laptop or phone yesterday? No. Where are all the charges and plugs? Who knows? Who knows? Where do they go? I don't know. You know what I once did. We've got a charging dock on our breakfast bar. Yeah. So it like pops up. Yeah. I actually brown taped. What's it called the brown tape? Oh yeah. You gaffer taped. Gaffer taped. I gaffer taped. I gaffer taped. I got such a good idea. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. Because guess what? Gaffer tape can be ripped off. And also it leaves all that residue.

Gaffer tape. There's still gaffer tape on it. Shit. But no plug. I gaffer taped it. That's how desperate I was. There must be a solution. Bastards.

Where do they take them? Where do they go? It's so irritating. I know. She's won. Yeah, Julia. Well, I don't know. I haven't had a good morning.

No. You know what? I actually think you've won. Because I just relate to her so much. I relate to her so much. I relate too. You had hit Nirvana and then you just. just hadn't. It was over. I had

I had like, it was a peak Monday morning and then it just all went to shit. Well, we're still going out for lunch. It was still going to a lovely sample sale on Wednesdays. Those things are still happening. I've got things to look forward to in life. Once I finish the laundry. You can't leave until you wash the mattress protector though.

Thank you for listening. That is our show on 40ish if you want to be in touch hello at 40ish.com. We'll be back on Tuesday and Thursdays. So keep tuning in. Make sure you subscribe. and make sure you come over to Southcare Club and listen to just there. That is released every Monday.

We'll be back next week. Bye-bye.