40ish - Waving Goodbye, Hotmail Shame & the £100 Bottle of Wine

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

In todays show: Lauren is sporting something brand new on her bum cheek and can’t wait to show Nicole - who is somewhat miffed at the pulling down of the pants live in the studio. We dive into the surprisingly emotional world of waving goodbye and tackle a very important midlife question: does having a Hotmail email address officially make you old, or should we all proudly keep our vintage inboxes and stop apologising for it? This week’s dilemma comes from a hairdresser whose client called for a 90-minute emotional chat and wonders whether the boundary between client and friend has been crossed? Plus, there’s a full meltdown involving throwing up and a listener rant that turns into a full relationship red flag discussion after she takes a new boyfriend out for his birthday and ends up paying for a £100 bottle of wine she didn’t even drink. Expect strong opinions, relatable annoyances and a bit of moral support for anyone navigating tricky boundaries. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend with a hotmail address who waves you off at the door. Get in touch! Email [e-mail] Instagram https://www.instagram.com/40ish.podcast  TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@40ish.podcast Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/share/DVQWb6y2vesgeHEK/?mibextid=LQQJ4d  To order our book HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?” click here  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Have-You-Tried-This-Only/dp/1801293139/ref=sr_1_2?crid=1O7EA4ZF1O5CS&keywords=have+you+tried+this&qid=1699449028&sprefix=have+you+tried+%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-2 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

mean as the face says a lot, which you may need to use words because it's a podcast. I'll explain my face. The face was like, what on earth? Googly-rolly eye and a bit of a pursed mouth? It was his birthday last week,

so I said I'd take him out for a birthday meal. He picked the place, so I knew it wasn't going to be budget, but what I wasn't planning on was him ordering a hundred pound bottle of wine, followed by more by the glass. Everybody, welcome to 40. I'm Nicole Goodman.

And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we tackle the chaos of 40-something life. You pause, so I've just taken over. Thank you. I appreciate that. Each week we dive into all things middle-aged. It could be news. It could be something topical that's happened in the news.

Your stories that you've written into us, your dilemmas, your rants, your meltdowns, and of course we share our own turrets. of what we are dealing with in midlife. Good word. Turbulence. Love it. Thanks. Please don't forget you can subscribe on Apple Podcasts for Early Access,

add free listening across both this show and Self Care Club and bonus content you won't get anywhere else. And you can even watch this video on Spotify. And on YouTube. That's the one. And if you have anything to share with us, big or small, we would like to hear it. Be part of the show. Come on, join the gang.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We still need a name for our listeners because over at self-care club we call them clubbers. Original. It is actually. Okay. Clubbers. Well, I don't want to call them mid-lifers. I think we should just call them clubbers. Clubbers. 40-ish clubbers. Midlife clubbers. We need a name because I don't want to call you guys listeners. Like, what are you?

Like, send it in your ideas of what we can collectively call ourselves. Send it into hello. Mid-lifish. No, it's rubbish. No. Hello at 40ish.com.com. UK or DM us on Instagram. We want to know what you think we should all be called because we definitely need a name for our gang.

Yeah. Can't be called gangers. It can't be called 40-ishers. Midlifers, probably. No, it's dry. We're better than that. Dry. We are better than that. I'll mull it over as the week goes on. Thanks. What's your most 40-ish moment of the week?

Nicole Goodman. Well, I've just been in Barcelona for my friend's 50th. And there were six of us. Actually, I was the youngest. Were you? Did you feel the youngest? Did you feel youthful?

Did you feel like you were giving it young vibes? No. No. No. Actually, I've only just realised that I was the youngest. But anyway, my point is, is that I've been away up for a 50th. This weekend, that's quite a 40-ish thing to do. Yeah, it is.

Well, it is. I mean, they're happening. That's quite a middle-aged thing to do. Can we change the segment to not the most. 40 your thing that's happened to you, the most middle age thing that's happened to you. Can we do that? I went away for a 50th a few weeks ago and I couldn't really believe that I was there.

I was part of this. What do you meet? This is nuts. I'm too young to be at a 50th. And like one of the girls there has been married for 28 years. Yeah. 28 years. That is like proper adulting. I've been married for 25

years this year. When you've been married to stuff, that is like listening to something that comes out of my parents' mouth. Oh, they've been together, they're celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. And now it's a friend of mine. It's just bizarre. What is this? Anyway, I will say we went to Boston and we had really good fun.

But going away with 50-year-old women, some were 50-plus, slightly 50-plus. You don't get anywhere very far because there is always somebody that needs a week. Right. Okay. Always. Always. How many had reading glasses? Sorry, I didn't notice.

How many needed to use their phone torch for a menu? I didn't notice. Were you just drunk? No. You just weren't observing. I wasn't, I was having too busy having fun. Rather than like, you know, taking down the data of what these women were doing. I would like the data.

I wasn't doing research for the show. What shoes were they all wearing? What shoes were they wearing? Why? I just want to know, what's the vibe with a bunch of 50-ish women? Well, we were walking around Barcelona. So we were all in trainers, I think, during the day. Oh, you know what?

One of the girls, the same girl that has been married for 28 years, she was wearing a furry Birkenstock. Really? I would not have that as a kind of walking city shoe. She was delighted. And the weather was so beautiful. It was bright sunshine. It was like 15 degrees.

We were walking around in jeans and vest tops. And I had a little denim jacket with me that I would put on if we went in the, you know, if we weren't in the sun. It was just the most beautiful weather. Lovely. It was just gorgeous. Lovely. What's the most middle-aged thing that's happened to you this week?

I'm going to show you. I have to stand up and show you it. All right. I know it's not great if you're listening on audio, but you can... You can... What's the word? What's the word? You look like you're about to take your trousers down.

I am. What are you doing? I'm coming out of camera. You're not. You're in camera. I'm coming out. Are you ready? Have you had a tattoo? What is she showing me?

I can't see anything. Oh! Oh! You needed to show me your ass for that? No, you need the mic, is what you need. I needed to prove it. Do you want to tell the list is what you just saw? My bum? I saw her bum.

Yeah. That's so weird sometimes. Like sometimes you are so fiercely. normal. And then sometimes you are so weird. I don't think it's that weird. What, you just flashed your ass, you were undoing your trousers on camera. What did you see? She basically showed me her HRT patch.

It's brand new. Is it? Fresh on today. Fresh on yesterday. Well, congratulations. Welcome to the world of estrogen. It's fucking great. Fun time!

Feedback. Okay, here we go. This is from Catch. She says, after hearing Lauren talk, about how people say thank you in the car with the hand up sign, the universal sign for thank you. It made me think about waving. My parents, family and I were always the ones who waved when guests or family left the house. My husband never ever waves at me when he goes out. I really miss the waving. Do you think it's weird and do you both do it? So whenever we leave my in-laws house,

yes. When we drive out of their driveway and then we turn right and then we're driving up the road, They stand at the door, both of them, always arm in arm, and they wave us off. And we have to wind down all the windows and wave. That is quite funny because Ollie's dad is also a waiver and he will do the same thing. I think it's very sweet. Do you think it's a generational thing perhaps? Maybe. My parents don't do it.

Just Jackie do it? Can't imagine Jackie doing that. Jackie's not a waiver. Can't imagine Russ is either. No, they're not really a wavers. No, my parents aren't either. So, okay, so it's not generational. I'm normally too busy with hands full of smoked salmon and egg mayonnaise that my mum's given me.

Yeah, yeah. On the way of stuff. A food. A food. I'm not really a waiver. No. No. I will say I will give a kiss goodbye.

Perhaps a hug. Depending on who you are. You will not give a hug and also barely a kiss. Sometimes. Who to who? Who are you kissing? Guests. Guests.

Yes. Well, like if my mum was over. and then she left. I would kiss her good life. I would allow you to kiss your mother. Who else? Wave her at the door. I can not imagine you wave me at the door.

You are, for people that don't know, but I mean, if you're a regular listener, you will know this. Lauren is the least fluffy person you will ever meet in your entire life. I'm not demonstrative. With my love. So if Lauren says something like,

if Lauren comes out with something sweet or she'll all your it's so rare I mean when I tell you soak it up lap it up

because it ain't coming around for another a good year Ollie and I agreed on this I'm assuming yeah yeah

of course definitely yeah I think everyone who knows me has agreed on that but I like that in you

because I thought maybe I do want her more fluffy and loving it would be weird I like it as you are if you left

my house of like a Wednesday afternoon and I which I often do and I stood at the front door and I waved you

off. And gave me a hug and a kiss. I think. But never mind the hug and the kiss. Just the waving off. All of it. All of it. You'd think like, why is she waving? Like I'm going off to war. Kissed me goodbye. It'd be so weird. Or like, why? Like, going off to war, waving you off to, like, it's weird.

I'd also find it really weird if you waved me off. But then it's all about context, isn't it? Because if Adam's parents didn't wave us off. You'd find that weird. I would be very, like, where are they? What's going on? You know. Yeah. I mean, I don't think intrinsically it's weird, cat. I think that you either are a waiver or you're not a waiver.

And I guess it's just like how you were brought up and so you were used to it. But you could always say to your husband, I'd love it if you waived me off when I leave for the school. My husband can barely look up from his laptop. I don't think I'm going to get him to wave me off. No, but I do like a kiss goodbye in the morning. I'm wondering if we kiss each other goodbye. We always do every morning. We always kiss goodbye.

when he leaves. Do we kiss hello? Maybe we kiss hello. No, I don't think we do that either. I don't think we do that either. I'm going to make more of an effort. I'm going to kiss him hello and goodbye. And I'm going to do it every time I leave the house

and let's see how long it takes for him to notice. We always kiss goodbye. Yes, you said. You said. I'm thinking about the hello. 50% of the time we kiss hello. But if I'm right in the middle of doing something or whatever, then no. But kissing yes, waving no.

Okay. All right. Good. Okay, got it. Okay, Debbie. Hi ladies, thoughts please as fellow 40ish people. I have a hotmail email address. I keep seeing it being mentioned on social media in videos or posts that it means you're old.

I have no plans to change my email, but lots of people are saying they hate giving their email address to people and having to say at hotmail.com. I didn't even realise that new emails don't still use this. I have a hotmail account. I also have a hotmail account. You see, I feel like you're too modern to have a hotmail account. I'm modern. I felt like you would be like, everyone's got Gmail now who's still got hotmail.

But I'll work. I'll work one, yes. A Gmail. I have a personal hotmail account. Actually, you know what, this is how cool we are. Yeah. We don't even have it. It doesn't even say Gmail.

It says hello at 40ish.com.com. Yeah. Hello at the self-care club.com.com. Yeah. What would you have for yourself? Well, I have hotmail. No, I know. Yeah.

I know, but I'm saying if you, thank you. And I do know your email address. I'm saying if you had to name it for yourself, like what would it be? Hello at Lauren Mishgon.com, but you're not. It's weird. I don't want that. It's weird. It's weird.

Yeah, weird. Listen, Debbie, I have to say, I feel very comfortable. And also, let me tell you something else, Debbie, about something really handy about having hotmail. So don't you worry about this. Go on. When you return every and every parcel. Uh-huh. And then you have to put in your email address.

Uh-huh. Oh no, I think it's raw mail. Yeah. When you have to type in your email address at the locker. Yeah. It already has at hotmail.com. So I would only have to put in Nicole, I'm not, Nicole Goodman. And then you just chat at Nicole at Hotmail.

I don't give your email address. That's actually not my email address. By the way. So if you, if you email Nicole Goodman at Hotmail.com, that's not my email address. No, it's not. So I said it. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Do you understand what I'm saying? It's already there. Yeah. You're not... I do know what you mean. I do it. But it also has the other ones.

Gmail. Yeah. It doesn't talk to stuff. Outlook. No. Outlook is a part of hotmail. I fucking hate Outlook. Let me tell you something.

Outlook can do one. Really? I hate Outlook. Really? Anything to do. What about Outlook bothers you so much? You know what? It's not even just Outlook.

That actually goes further. I'm doing my meltdown now. We're here. Okay. it's Microsoft. Right. You know Hotmail is part of Outlook.

Yeah. It's Microsoft as a whole. I'm not into it. I'm much more into the Google stuff. The Google products are far better than Outlook. I find it at Microsoft. I find them clunky. I find them old.

I find it. It slows my machine down. It's like word. Who? Who uses word? Hmm. I had to write a speech for my friend's 50th with my other friend. she starts pulling up a word document.

I said, we're not using word. Why not? I said, because it doesn't work. She goes, well, it works. I said it doesn't work and we can't share a document. So what you mean share a document? I'm like, you see, go into Google Drive. You've taken me over to the side of Google Drive now.

There's much, but when you're in partnership, yeah, you need to be able to share. Sharing. Yeah. It's caring. And sometimes what's really fun is that we go into Google Docs, and we're going to our Google and you're there in there. And then we can say hello.

When we were writing the book, we saw each other in there. It's like, oh hi! It's weird. That was weird. Like a ghost in the machine. Debbie, just be proud of being in your 40s. It's fine to have a hotmail account. Embrace it. Also, we are a very lucky

generation where we could actually use like our full name and age. Because it hasn't been taken. Exactly. Even our maiden names in some cases. Who's using their maiden name? What? I'm saying when I set up my Hotmail account. I was not even yet married. So, yeah, it's not even my name either. So, you know, it's cool. I think it's cool, Debbie. It's not cool. I'm reclaiming Hotmail

as cool. Yeah. Yeah. Come on now. Let's just do that. Should we go to a dilemma? I've got a patch on my ass and I don't care. Oh, I really still do care. It's literally been 12 hours. I mean, I really do still care. and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

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In communities across Canada, hourly Amazon employees earn an average of over $24.50 an hour. Employees also have the opportunity to grow their skills and their paycheck by enrolling in free skills training programs for in-demand fields like software development and information technology. Learn more at aboutamazon.ca. Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a very quick disclaimer, we are not doctors or healthcare professionals.

If there is an issue that you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. Interrupting this show very quickly to say that if you are loving 40-ish, we'd be so grateful if you could share this episode or this show with a friend of yours who you think. think we'll love the show too. The more ears we reach, the more we can keep bringing 40 years to all the brilliant midlife women who need to hear it. This is an interesting one today. I actually read it. Can you believe it? I read it before the show. Proud of you. Thanks. I've a lot to say about this. Great. Hi Lauren and Nicole. One of my clients, in brackets, I'm a hairdresser, rang me out of the blue last night on my personal mobile. Clients do have my mobile number, but they usually just ring the salon.

She's never rung my mobile before, so her number wasn't saved in my phone. I just answered, and I didn't know who it was at first. It was 7pm, outside of work hours. She was crying, asking if I had time for a chat. I said I did, and I had a long chat with her, and we ended up on the phone for over 90 minutes. I do her hair, but we don't have a friendship outside of that.

She is basically having a tough time at the moment and could do with a friend some support. I'm happy to support. her, but my husband thinks she overstepped the boundary because she's a client. And if I'm honest, I did feel a bit uncomfortable at first when she called, but I am happy to support her. She has an appointment with me on Tuesday. This was already booked weeks ago, so she could have spoken to me then. Like I said, I'm happy to support her, but I do wonder if he is right that she's overstepped the boundary because I was uncomfortable at first. Has she overstepped the boundary? Or am I being mean? Thank

you, Aisha. I mean, the face says a lot, but you may need to use words because it's a podcast. Well, explain my face. The face was like, what on earth? Googly-rolly eye and a bit of a pursed mouth whilst looking away into the distance. And I flared my nostrils at the same time. Orio description there for you.

I mean, none of that is okay. Oh, interesting. What'd you mean interesting? If a doula client of yours just phoned you up, someone that you knew quite well, but you were not friends with, phoned you up to tell you about what was going on in their life because they need someone to listen.

You wouldn't find that an overstep. It's a little bit different and it's a bad example to use because the literal job is to emotionally support. No, no. What if they're not pregnant anymore? I would still feel And it wasn't about the baby

I would still feel in that particular instance because of the very very personal and emotional nature of the job that they felt some sort of bond and trust with me and perhaps I was a good person

You do with the hairdresser Right I mean I have been in this position You have been in this position No no I have been a hairdresser for 30 years Did this ever happen to you? No never But to be honest

with you, like, and I had clients for years and years and years, and they do become friends. They absolutely do. But they become friends in their own setting. I see some of my clients now. We meet up for lunch and it's lovely. Yeah. And because I miss them, otherwise I wouldn't get to see them. And if this did happen, I would feel like they had very much overstepped. Because it's not, you have a working relationship of sorts. You do have a relationship. and you do have a fondness for one each up for one another. But it's not a friendship. It is a transactional relationship.

Some, you know someone for so many years. And of course they've become friends. But she's saying, I like her. And she's not a friend of mine, but she is a client. Like, I understand that. But it is transactional. It is. And you can still have a wonderful time together when she's in the chair.

I feel slightly different about this. I feel like we did do. We've actually done quite a lot of work on boundaries over at Self Care Club. And in our lives. And in our lives. And we also wrote a chapter in our book about it. And what I learned from those shows

is what Nancy Levin taught us, which is your boundary is between you and you. And nobody can overstep your boundary apart from yourself. So true. That is so true. So if your boundary is, clients, do not phone my personal mobile number because that's where my boundary is.

then that's when your boundary is. So it's only you that's allowing her to overstep your boundary. Okay? She hasn't overstepped it. You've allowed her to overstep it. That's my first thought. Yeah. Okay.

She's got you on fire. She also says she's happy to. And I do. No, she said. She said, I felt uncomfortable at first, but I'm happy to support her. Don't you think that sometimes there are situations, in life and obviously we don't know what her tough time is this woman, but perhaps she needed to speak to someone who was outside of her friends and family. She obviously did, she obviously

did, but that's not her role in her life. It just isn't. Look, I have worked with clients for 30 years. You have to protect your own energy so fiercely because you like people and people like you and people can read that situation wrong. I'm not saying everybody because there were a lot of my clients that I did become friendly with, but some people can just read it wrong. And also, I don't have the emotional capacity

or energy to support every single one of my hundreds of clients. I just wouldn't be able to do that and show up in my own life. I also feel like I am someone who gives all of myself to my friends as much as I can. especially if they are going through a hard time, I want to be there for them, I want to be as present as possible, and I want them to know that they can talk to me whenever they need to.

So to then have to do that with clients, it makes me feel exhausted just thinking about it. I think, if I were you, Aisha, firstly, I don't think you're being mean at all. I think you are allowed to feel however it is that you feel about the situation. You have done 90 minutes with her. You've given her your advice and support. Well, she phones her again, which she probably will. I think it is absolutely appropriate if it happens again or when you see her on Tuesday to say, how's your situation? I've told you everything that I have to say about it.

And I think that if you need more help or support, it might be better for you to speak to X, Y, Z. And just lay it down in a really kind way. That's a very hard thing to say. It is, but it can be done with great kindness. Like I don't have, I can't help you anymore with this. I've told you what I think and I've given you my advice and, you know, maybe you should speak to blah, blah, blah about it. But she didn't. Also the other overstep is she didn't give this client her phone number.

The client went and got it. Well, we don't know. Didn't she said at the beginning. She said something about she usually calls me on my. She said clients do have my mobile, but they usually just ring the salon. Okay. Okay. Whereas all my clients have my phone number because it was my business.

so they would come through me. But no one... I'll tell you what she could have done. She could have texted her and said, hi, would it be okay if I called you? I really need some support on this. Is it okay if I give you a ring? She could have done, but she didn't.

And you're absolutely right. The only person that can push your own boundaries is you. I had one client text me once. I mean, you know, I knew clients back to front and inside out that by the end of it, by like maybe 20 years in, 25 years in, I could tell on a text if a client was going to be for me. And I remember someone messaging me at 10 o'clock on a Sunday night saying, can you, she WhatsApped me?

So that was the first thing. Can you do my hair? She didn't tell me who she was or how she got my number. I didn't know anything about her. Literally a stranger. Yes, right? Yes. I mean, they weren't ever strangers because they would come through somebody.

Can I book you into Brazilian my hair and my daughter's hair? Sunday afternoon at 6pm. Well, find me a hairdress that works on a Sunday afternoon at 6pm. And then I didn't reply. And about an hour and a half later, she sent another message, sorry, not 6pm, 8.30pm. Oh, do me a favour. I didn't reply.

And then the next morning, she sent me another message. Did you get my message? I never, ever, ever reply. Because I thought, no. For a thousand reasons, no. You are not the client for me. me. If you think it's a appropriate to text me for the first time on a Sunday night, not introduce yourself and then ask me to work at a really unreasonable hour of a weekend, no.

Nah. What's your advice for Isha? It's difficult because they've already had the conversation. My advice for her is, I think you're right with your boundaries. You're the only one that can cross them. And you have to be very boundary with clients. You do because they're, you know, they come to you because they like you and they like how you do their hair. And I get why this client has reached out to her, but you cannot service and emotionally support all of your clientele. You will absolutely burn yourself out. So I think make sure that nobody touches your private mobile phone.

It would be my suggestion. Moving forward. And if she does it again, if she calls you again, you're going to have to say something. You're going to have to have an uncomfortable conversation. I mean, it's awful. But it's necessary. Thank you, Aisha, for your dilemma.

I've had my stupid little meltdown about Microsoft. What's yours? My meltdown is throwing up. I threw up on Saturday night, all night. And I maybe throw up once a decade. I've never known you to throw up. Well, yeah, I haven't even known you a decade, so there you go. The last time I threw up was before I even knew you.

One thing we haven't done together I don't ever want to do that with you And I have to tell you Even when you only do it once every 10 years It's awful It's the worst Being sick is the worst But it's not even the actual

Vomming It's the feeling of I know I'm going to be sick It is happening It's just a question of when it happens Once you're sick You're like oh thank God Yeah

But only if it's a one and done It's when you're really sick And then you don't feel better that's the worst bit. It was, I'd forgotten how awful it is. And now, because I'm 10 years older than the last time I was sick, it fucking flawed me. It did it.

It's the next morning and I was sick and I was sick and I was sick and I was sick and Ollie was fast asleep and the next morning I woke him up. I was like, I'm going to give you some electrolytes. I was sick. I was like, what? I said I was sick all night. It's like, where? It's like, in our bathroom.

He said, I didn't hear anything. And I did not leave my. bedroom until 6 p.m. yesterday. I couldn't. He brought me up some toast. He brought me up tons of water. He brought me up baracetamol. He brought, I just could, I could not recover from this. Needed a good old electrolyte. I actually did need an electric. You should have called me because I'm the queen of electrolytes now. I was in such a bad way. Oh, you poor thing. It was so great. Anyway, I actually feel okay today. But wow, like, once you're 48 and you vom all night, it really takes that shit out of you. Once you're 48

and you do anything all night, it really takes that shit out of you. It could be anything. I mean, the last time this happened to me, it sounds very glamorous, but it wasn't. I threw up all night in Paris all night. It was terrible. Can we stop with throwing up? I got up. I went to bed at 5, got up at 8. I had a Coke and a bacon sandwich.

You were sick, you're sick. I was fine. No, what I'm saying was. Oh, sorry. I jumped the gun. I had, I finally got to sleep at 5, got up at 8, Coke, bacon, sandwich. She went to a vintage market. Well, it was 10 years ago. It was 38.

And I was fine. I was not fine yesterday. A decade is a long time. Yeah. God, if I think back to what I was doing a decade ago. Well, I wasn't doing this. No, me neither. We've got a good list.

Oh, come on. I didn't read this one. This is from Alison. Hello, Alison. Oh, ladies, listen to this for a rant. This guy and I have known each other for five years. We started dating six months ago. We're both early 40s.

It was his birthday last week. So I said I'd take him out for a birthday meal. He picked the place. So I knew it wasn't going to be budget. But what I wasn't planning on was him ordering a hundred pound bottle of wine, followed by more by the glass. I wasn't even drinking because I drove there and back. Well, he had like six glasses, seven glasses of.

mind himself. Bloody ill. He knows I'm not poor, but that is essentially down to my extreme budgeting, which he is well aware of. Yes, yes. It was a nice meal out, totally ruined by me internally stewing over the fact that I have picked up a tab, the equivalent of a monthly food budget for me and my two kids, and it has totally put me off him.

I don't blame. We do get on, but this has really narked me. Yeah. You know why? You know why that's totally narked her? is because it's a liberty. He's taken such advantage of her. Yeah, it's that.

It's not about the wine or whatever. It's like, well, where else are you going to take advantage of me? I'm not into that. It's such a liberty. Alison, I'm not into this. I wouldn't be able to get past that. I wouldn't be able to do that to someone. No.

If anyone said to me, I'm taking it, I would be like even more cautious about making sure that I didn't order the most expensive thing on the menu. Yes, or I would order a glass of wine. One glass. and it would not be the most expensive one. I'd be so mindful of this is so nice of you to take me out. Same. I can't believe.

I actually find that. Rude. That's a big red flag, Alison. I know you like him. She said they get on, but it's put her off. It's only been six months. I'm not in. I am not into that.

No, I'm not either. You know what? Wait for your birthday. Go out with him. Order a 200 pound bottle of wine. Yeah, be really petty about it. Do the one thing that's pissed you off so much and do it yourself. And then end it.

It's really good. That's just very good advice. You are full of good advice stage. You think it's the patch. 12 hours. 12 hours in. And you are like the Dalai Lama. I'm the wisest woman in North London.

Imagine what I'll be like after a month. I'll be in some temple. People will come to me with their problems. You're going to be like a shaman. Yeah, I'm going to be like the umer, the hugging mother. I'm going to be her. Oh. Oh, that's not going to be me, is it?

I could see that for you. Oh, no, I couldn't because you don't, I won't hug. Yeah. But you could pat them. That's a bit too. I gave you a hug last week, you patted me. Did I? Yeah.

I patted you? Patted me. Where did I pat you? On the back. Yeah. Was that weird? No. It's weird because it was you.

Okay. Because I went in for a hug. Right. And you went in for a pat. Yeah, maybe the hug was a bit overwhelming for me. I think it was. It was. I'm sorry.

It was a bit too much physical affection for. for me. Yeah. It's amazing. I've got three children, isn't it? It's a wonder. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It is. Anyway, that's our show on 40-ish. We will be back next week with a brand-new episode. We hope that you... What do we hope? I hope that your 40-ish week is as stable as it can be.

That's what I wish for you. See? Dalai Lama. You really... are bringing it. Please be in touch. Hello at 40ish.co.com. Please come up with your suggestions of what we can all call ourselves as a gang because we need to be a gang. Yeah. And we're thinking about doing a lot more live shows in 2026, aren't we? Yeah. And I was looking at venues yesterday. I saw tell you about that after.

And we will be back next week. Lovely. See you then.