40ish - Weight Loss in Your 40s, Menopause at Work & Ottolenghi

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

This week on 40ish Lauren reaches peak midlife as she attends an wholesome Ottolenghi Cooking Club; yet somehow gets embroiled in a conversation about anal s*x within 3 minutes of arrival. Meanwhile Nicole realises that you know when you’re spending too much time with your gyne when he feels fully comfortable eating crisps off your plate. In midlife news it turns out almost half of middle-aged Brits are still traumatised by school PE - not surprising if you remember being asked to climb that rope in a pair of big navy pants. We hear from listeners navigating menopause in toxic workplaces, sharing the very real fear of education being weaponised, but also why the conversation still has to happen. Today’s dilemma asks: Is it actually possible to lose weight in your 40s? Despite doing “all the right things” (gym, PT, food), social media is screaming that unless you buy a miracle pill, it’s game over. We get into the pressure, the myths, and the reality of midlife bodies.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/40ish-navigating-midlife-and-menopause--6942825/support.We love to hear from you! Get in touch with your dilemmas and rants.DM & follow us on Instagram   TikTokOrder Our Book here

I would say under three minutes of meeting each other. Yeah. We were already having a whole conversation about anal sex. Well, my most 40-ish moment of the week is when you know that you've spent too much time with your gynecologist. Is that even a thing? It is for you, currently. If one or other of us is going to be a pearl dancer, it would be you, not me. It's never going to be me.

You have more core strength. And also, I prefer a large, a knicker. I can't pole dance in my size knickers. No one wants to see that apart from like a very niche cake. Nobody wants to see me up a pole in a song. Okay. Hello everybody. Welcome to 40ish. I'm Nicole Goodman. And I'm Lauren Mishkon. This is the podcast where we

tackle 40-something live each and every week bringing you everything midlife. Twice a week. Stories, dilemmas, rants, meltdowns. Lots of rants. Feedback. Trolls. Anything that's going on in midlife, we bring it here. From mundane stuff to ridiculous stuff, we figure out how to survive midlife together, one round of crisis and meltdown at a time. We sure do. And please don't forget you can subscribe to this show on Apple Podcasts and you get early access and ad-free listening across this show

and our other show Self-Care Club. And you can watch the video every week on YouTube. And if you've got something to share big or small, we want to hear it. So please email us. No, that's not an email address. Yes, not. Hello at 40-ish, that's 4.0ish.com.com. Please be in touch, be part of the conversation. We love hearing from you. And last piece of housekeeping and the most important, if you love 40-ish,

please, can we ask you very kindly that you share this show with a friend that you think will love it to? What's your most 40-ish moment? Oh, I did the most middle-aged thing yesterday. Go on. I went to an Otto Lengi lunch cooking club. I know. Basically, you choose an Otolengi dish from any book you like. You make the dish.

Yeah. You go to the lunch. Yeah. And then you all enjoy the feast together. Who did you go with? Strangers. How did you hear about it? Through my cousin.

Who's a real foodie. Right. Wow. Some of these people can cook, cook. Hold on. She told you about an Otolengi club. Yes. You went.

Yes. Do you have to say what you're cooking before you go? Yes. There is a checklist. And then you choose appetizer starter, main course, meat, fish, desserts. You choose whatever you want and then share with the group what you're planning on cooking. What group? Or what's that group?

Yeah. And then everyone goes, oh my God, that sounds amazing. Right. And then you go. Someone hosts it at their home. And then you lay it all out on the table. Was your cousin there? My cousin was there.

It was the most extraordinary feast. It was exquisite. it. My God, I'm like, my stomach is growling even thinking about it. And you know what? I'm an all right cook. Some of these cooks. What did you make? What did you make? I made a dessert because I was so intimidated by these dishes that these people were. But they are intimidating. Wow. So I made an apple and olive oil cake with a maple syrup icing. You love an olive oil cake. And one of the women said, that's my favorite Otolengue dish. And when I go to the Otolengi Cafe, I always have it. So I hope it's good. Oh my God. No pressure. I bet it was great. It was good. It was good.

It was fine. It was okay. But some man made this rosemary and lemon cake. It was my best dish of the day. I told him so. The dessert. Yeah. And you're not even that big into desserts.

I'm not, but it was the most. I was so full. I couldn't touch dinner. Anyway, it was very middle-aged. But what was very funny about the day? How many people were there? 20. Oh, a lot.

It really was a feast. We ate in the garden. There was rosé. The cordon sounds so fun. It was so fun in the most 40-ish manner. Yeah. Yeah. It was wholesome.

I said it was wholesome, but it wasn't that wholesome. No. So I arrived. Obviously, I knew my cousin, but I didn't know anybody else there. And you know, like, I better would have known everyone there. No, I really don't think you would have done. It was a very diverse group of people. But anyway, what are you saying?

One woman came up to me as I arrived, and she was like, you're fabulous. What do you do for a living? I was like, I'm a podcaster. Do you get embarrassed when you're saying? I get so embarrassed because the reactions and the responses are always different. Yeah. And it also invokes a lot of questions. Yes.

She was like, what's your podcast about? I was like, what do you do? She's like, I'm a breast cancer nurse. I'm like, oh. Oh, you're a proper job. A proper job when you actually save lives. Within, I would say, under three minutes of my. of meeting each other.

Yeah. We were already having a whole conversation about anal sex. I had never met this woman before in my life. Can I just say? Yeah. I've known you six years. Nearly seven. Yeah.

I don't think we've ever had that conversation. I don't want it. I'm just saying. Well, for context, we were talking about libido in women who are going through chemotherapy or are post-cancer treatment because she is a breast cancer nurse. So she gave me a lot of information about how to help people going through breast cancer or any kind of cancer and her chemo with their sex lives. She is like, this is her thing. Hold on, can I just say?

Yeah. You started telling us that it was the most wholesome afternoon. Well, then I said, it wasn't that wholesome. Then it wasn't that wholesome. Anyway, after the lunch, she texted me in the evening. this was the whole message I'm laughing the 40-ish podcast Full Minge on display

pissing myself laughing This is Elite I'm a fan Five seconds in Oh by the way This is blah blah blah From the Otolengi Club today Sorry

What do you mean full Minge on display Well I think she began With the episode of I saw the class reps vaj And I can't unsee it I think she began She went to the early days She did

And I said One knows when you found their person I don't think anyone Has ever gone directly to anal sex within three minutes of meeting me before, but let me say, I'm here for it, and I may also use it on the podcast. She was like, fine.

Great, she's already giving you content. Yeah, love it. But you know how, that's not wholesome, by the way? It wasn't how often. But you know how sometimes, like, when you're in a room full of strangers, you always seem to gravitate towards the people. You know, I do find these people gravitate to me,

or is it that I gravitate to them? You know what you call that, law of attraction? Maybe. It is total law of attraction. Maybe. She was really, very cool. She sounds it. Nurses are cool because they are utterly unflappable.

Yeah. And you cannot embarrass them. There's nothing. Right. Okay, we've got it. You've got a new friend. Well done. We're very happy for you.

We move on now. What's your most fortage moment of the week? Well, my most fortiethish moment of the week is when you know that you've spent too much time with your gynecologist. Is that even a thing? Oh, it is for you currently. Yes, I'd say yes. Oh my God, I never thought that I would see my gynecologist as much as I have seen him a lot. A lot.

For context, I have known him for many, many years. He delivered both my babies. So we know each other well enough. Well, in Dula World, we would say that only pizzas are delivered, babies are birthed. So he did not, in fact, deliver your babies. He just assisted you in birthing them. Okay. Okay.

Okay. It's a political birth point. Is it? Yeah. Only pizzas are delivered. It's like when someone says their hair's thin. Yeah? No.

What do you mean? No, you don't say that. Why? Because it's just a horrible term that's not even accurate. Do you say fine? Fine. Okay. Your hair is fine or you don't have a lot of density to your hair, but you don't say thin.

Okay. Nice. I like how we both brought up. The rebranding there. Post. What did I have? Historic to me? Post, no.

I had another procedure. after that. And then another one. No, I had a hysterectomy and then I've had to have another procedure. Yeah, and then another one. No. This is your third visit to him. This is your second visit to him after the hysterectomy. No, I've seen him, I've seen him three times since my hysterectomy and then this was the fourth time. This is the fourth time.

No, because I need to be examined and I need to be checked. Yes. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yes. Let's not go into it. I just needed to see him. We all know what a gynaecologist does for a living. We're all aware.

It's not a secret. Anyway, so he came to check on me post procedure and he's like, right, he was discharging me. He said everything went fine. You can go home. I had just eaten my lunch. They'd brought in a sandwich and I had some crisps on my plate. And he was like, eat your crisps. They're good for you.

I said, I don't want. I said, I don't want them. He goes, oh, I'll have them. I'm a bit hungry. He started eating the crisps of my plate. That is very familiar. I said, help yourself. And he goes, oh, well, I really shouldn't.

I said, no, but you are. He ate all the crisps, then took the last handful and left. And then the nurse came in to do the discharge papers. And she said, have you seen the doctor? And I said, yes, yes. He just came in. He ate all my crisps. And she laughed.

And she goes, only him. And I thought, this is when you know you spend too much time with your gynaecologist. When they're eating off your plate. Yeah. Yeah. Even my own husband doesn't like me eating off his plate sometimes. He feels like my uncle's. feels like my uncle at this point. He's very comfortable with you. Well, and

vice versa. Well, that's good. That's good, I'd say. He's going to retire soon. Then what am I going to do? We'll stop having hisorexmi's. Okay, I'll stop after just this one. There's midlife news this week. Okay. I'd like to know what you think about this. The headline is, almost half of middle-aged Britons put off exercise are still haunted by school PE lessons. Millions of Britons are physically enacted. and blame their hatred of school PE for being put off exercise a new poll has found. No. An estimated 4 million British adults aged 50 to 65 say bad experiences at school have put them off exercise for life

and 40% still have bad memories from school PE lessons according to a survey by age UK. Okay. I hated PE at school. I hate it. So did I. Yes, but you're still tracks because you hate exercise. I also hated PE at school and I did everything I could to get out of it. and now I am always exercising.

That's interesting, you see. Because I kind of do feel that P.S. I don't think it's that interesting. I do. I don't. I agree with this survey. I do not agree with this. This is an absolute excuse and looking for something to blame.

What a pile of rubbish. No, I agree with it. Of course you do. Because it's in your best interest to agree with it. Did you ever get up that rope? Be honest. I still couldn't. How?

Who were those girls who were at the top of that rope? But you know what? People still do that. What is that? It's just good coordination. How do you do that? It's good coordination. It's, I look at it and I'm like, it's not physically possible to get up that

that thing. That's the thing. It was that. It was the rope because I was like, what even is climbing up the rope? What's the fucking point? Then you've got to get that down. The down's fine. A fireman's pole thing, but the up.

Oh, I could do the fireman's pole. No problem. I could go down a pole. I could not get up it. No one is hiring me in a pole dancing. club. I'm telling you that for free. Thank you. I would not get up that pole or down that pole. No one was offering you the job. No. And also, definitely, and also I think like, how would

you cover up your HRT patches? And also, imagine going to an Otolengi middle age lunch saying, what do you do for a living? Oh, I'm a pole dancer. It's better to say podcaster. I don't know if it is. Oh, it is. Is it? Yeah. There's one mom at the school, at my youngest school, She is convinced that I am a pole-down-down- She's convinced that I have a pole in my house and that I use it like regularly. Why? I don't know. So every single time I see her, which is not that often, maybe once a year or a show or something. She'll go, how's the pole?

And she sort of nudges me and gives me a wink. And I always say to her, I don't have a pole. She's like, yeah, yeah. She is- No, I've been to your house and you don't have a pole. She's convinced that I'm on a poll. I do have a friend with a pole. And it was very in Congress.

And I really was very surprised when she told me that it was being installed. In fact, she said the builder who installed it was giving her a bit of like the, like, come on. You know. Anyway, she, she, I mean, you would never put this woman and the pole dancing together. She doesn't do it like in a club, in a thong, by the way. No, no, no. No, it is a fitness thing.

It must be really strong. Really strong. It's like proper body strength that is. Yeah, I also don't have that. So it's not going to be a career move for me. Just saying. Few. So I won't lose my podcast partner just yet to the poll.

No, you won't. You can see the headlines now. Podcast partner lost to the poll. Loving that headline. It's a good headline. Yeah. It's a good headline. If one or other of us was going to be a poll dancer, it would be you, not me.

It's never going to be me. You have more core strength. And also, I prefer a larger knicker. I can't pole dance in my size knickers. No one wants to see that, apart from like a very niche kink. Nobody wants to see me up a pole in a song. Okay. There's more feedback about the feedback about the feedback.

Oh my God, it's still going on. I am so obsessed with this. Hello, just listening to your show. Love it. Thank you. I've been sharing with friends. Thank you. I wanted to drop you a message regarding the lady who was worried about the impact

of menopause education on women in the workplace. I have a different angle. Please hear me out. I get it. I totally understand why she feels worried about the menopause being used against her. I have pushed back on training myself, but in capital letters, this is because I was in a toxic, in capital letters, workplace. The menopause training was put in rightly in good faith,

but the men in the organisation were not trustworthy enough to take this advice and use it for good and not weaponise this against women of Perry and menopause age. Oh my God. Yeah, awful. I don't think this is that uncommon. I mean, not that I'm in the workplace. It's now being weaponised? It's tough for us and this doesn't help, but it still needs to be done.

We need to fight against a toxic workplace and stand strong and continue to deliver so the women coming up the corporate ladder behind us don't suffer in the future. Yes, I love that. I was wrong to push back against the training. I was right that my workplace was toxic. Does that make sense? Yes. Also, you were not shrill, you were passionate and you really made me think about my pushback on training.

I'm deeply disappointed that another woman said this to you. P.S. I'm still kind of in the toxic workplace. It got worse after a change in management and the stress of it is appalling. On top of perimenopause, it's crap. But that doesn't mean we don't push together for change regardless of how rubbish we feel. Wow. Thank you for that. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We also had one from Katie.

She said, I just listened to the newest episode in the segment about the feedback in inverted commas that was sent. Now, maybe I don't qualify to have an opinion on this. because I'm still in my 30s. Of course you should have an opinion on this. You do. Thank you, Katie. I don't have any female relatives alive on my mother's side of the family and no one who I can actively discuss or ask for advice on such matters. Now, this is where you ladies come in.

You've educated, reassured, entertained and informed me on how life changes as we grow up, not old. I can't thank you enough for that. So the point I'm getting to, and as I said before, I may not be qualified to have an opinion, but I'll have one anyway. Yes, good, Katie. No harm at all can come from having these open discussions. Knowledge makes us all more powerful. I really hope this lady is okay with her experience, but the more we speak openly on these matters

mean that our future generations will benefit. Look how much has changed, including the attitudes towards the menopause in the last decade. Anyway, it's a long way of saying, I love the pod, Katie. Thank you, Katie. Thank you. The feedback has been tremendous, and we are deeply humbled by it all. So thank you for every single one of you who has written in.

Just before we dive into your dilemmas, a very quick disclaimer. We're not doctors or healthcare professionals. So if there is an issue you are seriously struggling with, please contact a qualified expert. If you're loving 40-ish, we would be so grateful if you could share this episode or the show in general with a friend. The more ears we reach, the more we can keep bringing 40-ish to all the brilliant midlife women who need to hear it. Hello ladies. Firstly, thank you for the many laughs that you've given me on my way to and from work.

It's just brilliant to switch off and laugh after a day of teaching teenagers. Oh, you're welcome. I hope you enjoyed the pole dancing. We leave home and we go home to the teenagers. I hope you enjoyed the pole dancing and the anal sex. I'm writing in to ask you slash your listeners if it is possible to lose weight in your 40s.

I am 47 and I have gone up a dress size. and I hate the way I look and feel in my clothes. I have been going to the gym and I have recently got a personal trainer. I want to know I'm doing the right exercises as this is time away from other things that I need to get done. I am watching why I eat,

but social media is constantly, in capital letters, telling me it's not possible without spending a fortune on some sort of pill. Oh my God, I hear that so much. I have my brother's wedding in August and I want to feel good about myself and my shape by then. If you or your listeners have words of help or encouragement, I would be very grateful.

you, Rebecca. Thank you, Rebecca. I would like to say up front that we are not nutritionists, we are not dietitians, we are not qualified in any aspects. So what we are going to discuss is purely our opinions and where we sit on this very polarising issue. I believe we call it peer-to-peer support. Yeah, yeah, I like that.

Peer-to-peer support. Lauren and I actually discussed this dilemma when it came in and we discussed whether or not we should bring it to the show, didn't we? Yeah, we totally did. I was very much for it, and Lauren was quite hesitant to bring. Yeah. Do you want to say why? Because, well, because we're not qualified.

Because we're not as high-efficient and nutritionists. She just wanted to go away like, literally can't advise you on how to lose weight, nor is it my business to advise you. I also, just from a very personal note, I just find it really, really boring and a bit sad. And what do you find boring and a bit sad? That women are so desperate to be smaller. And just to be smaller. And it occupies so much headspace and energy and time and effort and angst and upset and worry and feeling shit about yourself. And all of those things.

It's also not a conversation that I have. with my friends or really at all and I'm not a person who's dieted and I and then I did say to you at the end of this whole conversation I said to you but you know I'm a person who has always existed in a socially acceptably sized body so I'm naturally yes I'm not someone who has struggled with my weight so I think there's lots what do they call it thin privilege is that what they call it is that the term I might have got that wrong but that's something like that yeah you have we both have thin privilege. So it's not something I've struggled with

and so I say that from the top. I don't know how quality I am to discuss this because it's not really my specialised subject. I would like to say thank you for that.

I would like to say Rebecca that I very much think about it. I very much work towards being in a certain shape and feeling a certain way about living in my own body. So I absolutely resonate with this email, which is why I very much wanted to bring it to the show. And I know that, oh my God, so many women, I would say probably 98% of women feel the same way and think about their weight and think about what they should eat

and how they should look and how they want to feel in their clothes and wanting to go down a dress size and what number they are on the scales. And you are right, it does take up a lot of space and a lot of energy. And all of that is correct, but yet it is still very much an issue. So I would like to say, Rebecca, yes, I, in my opinion, think it is absolutely very much achievable

to lose weight in your 40s. I think it takes longer. And this is going on my personal journey with it. And there is so much conflicting advice about how to move and how to eat as you reach perimenopause, menopause. But she says she's exercising and she's got a personal trainer and she's looking at her nutrition. She says she is doing all the things.

Yeah. Yeah. And that may be so. And sometimes I have found that when I'm not losing weight and I want to and I'm still doing all the things and I'm still in the gym and I'm still eating well in, you know, relative standards. It's when I tweak things and when I look at it and I really zone in on my macros and I zone in on how I'm weight training and I zone in on my water intake, that's when change starts to happen for me, is when I get really locked in, as my kids would say. You know, I want to answer this and say, no, you should feel good in your body and feel good in your being a dress size bigger

and all of those things. But I know that's just not, it's not a reality for me. So I get that it's not a reality for you either. I actually wrote back and said that there's a woman whose advice I follow. She is qualified and she is trained and she's a personal train and all the things and I just love her whole vibe and I wrote to you personally about it. And I just follow the method of lifting weights, resistance training, cut out the cardio, just do lots of steps a day. That's the best way to train for perimenopause and being the age that you are at because we need, we lose so much muscle tone at this stage. So it's really important to keep your muscle. And the more muscle you have on your body, the more fat you burn. That's just how it goes. And you can actually

get away with eating more the more muscle that you have. And fuel yourself correctly and work out what your macros are and then go in a slight deficit. And that should help. But it's not easy. And And I get it and I get where you're at. And that's just the stuff that I follow if I want to lose a bit of weight. I go into a slight deficit. I up my training. I up my water. And I really zone in on what I'm eating because it is more nutrition based than anything else.

But please don't be buying pills and gummies and all this shit on Instagram. That's what really annoys me. The conversation on. I can't stand it. I know. Are you fat? Have you got a fat time? It's your cortisol.

You need to buy these gummies, drink this drink. Of course, something really comes up for you, doesn't it? Oh, my God. My algorithm's obsessed with the cortisol. I said a few weeks ago, didn't I, that my algorithm was telling me that I was fat. Because it was like every supplement company had the weight loss pill that you need. And in the world of GLP1s, all of these supplement companies are trying to replicate something else, which isn't a GLP 1.

And not everybody needs to go on a GLP 1, nor should everyone be on it, by the way. No. But I don't think it's down to a pill. I think it's down to your nutrition. Listen, if there was a pill, a magic pill, a magic gummy that you buy that made you, don't you think that everyone would be on it? Well, it's called a GLP1, which everyone is on it. Right.

Or everyone that wants to lose weight is on it. That's not a supplement that you can buy on Instagram. No, it's proper medication. So that really, really annoys me. Because I do think the same with all the men. Menopause stuff that there is this huge rise of let's find people who are in a vulnerable state. Oh, I know. Perimenopausal women. And let's find shit and make shit that they can buy and spend their money on. Menopause shampoo. Yeah. It totally exploits women. Menopause.

You know. Everything. I've got menopause night cream in my bloody cupboard. It's just enough. Enough. Sorry. It's like I feel like it preys on the vulnerable. And also it's dressed up as support. But it's not support. and it's exploitation. Totally. Yeah. And I think this is very much the same because obviously all these companies

understand that it is harder to lose weight the older you get and that women are desperate for something that's an easy fix. But there isn't an easy fix. There isn't an easy fix and what works for one person won't necessarily work for another and whatever method works for you

and that you can sustain and want to sustain in your life, then that's the route that you should go down. This is something that works for me but it wouldn't work for everybody. Well, and you also have to have the discipline to follow that through and I have zero discipline so I would never be able to follow that through. But to me it's not discipline in terms of how I train because I enjoy it.

Yes. So it's a pleasure for me to do it and I haven't been able to train like that for nearly 10 weeks now. So I mean I am like desperate to get back to it. Desperate. My whole body feels desperate to get back to it and I will and my God I'm I always just think it's such a privilege to be able to move your body. Yeah. It really is. Thank you, Rebecca, for that question. Thank you. Meltdowns. Have you got one?

Actually, don't. Why don't I have one? I just don't have one. I don't know why not. How nice. Yeah, I feel very much like, I feel very myself. Good. Very myself.

I, I, I kind of feel myself, but then I'm not myself. Does that make sense? Yeah. Does it make sense? Totally does make sense. Oh, really? Oh, you've noticed. no I've noticed

gone you had a very quasi day on Saturday you were very quasi I was not I was not I was not in a good way no you were quasi

but by Sunday you were fine yeah but I also think I was having a come down from the anaesthetic totally because I woke up that morning and I was like

Adam I am not feeling right yeah I couldn't leave the house I felt very anxious I felt overwhelmed everything was bothering me there were like crumbs on the kitchen surface

I mean there's always crumbs oh yeah and I just I wanted to cry. Oh, yeah. That's not good. Just quasi. Quuzzy as hell. You were quasi as fuck. I was quazzing out. Meanwhile, you phoned me and I was like, what do you want? I'm in waitrose. Flirting with a man at the meat counter and you were like, what? What's going on? What are you

talking about? What's happening here? I was like, this is normal for me. You were like, this is not normal for you. Like, no, this is normal for me, old me. I didn't realize that you were flirted with strangers. I flirt with everyone, men and women. No, absolutely. You don't. You don't. I'm very much chatting at chat pants with strangers. Look what happened when we were at that BBC thing with the man with the tattoo? Oh my God. There's this guy. We're at this thing all day.

That was not okay. It was totally okay. He was totally okay with it. Anyway, we were sitting in this. Of course he was okay with it. Couldn't believe his luck. I think he was gay. So I don't think he was remotely interested in me.

We were sitting in this auditorium and in front of me, directly in front of me, was a man with a t-shirt. And he had a tattoo. his arm and it was of a woman's legs and corset and a neck but where the line of his t-shirt was cut off her head i was convinced the face was going to be madonna because it was like the madonna pointy-boob corset and you were like look at his tattoo i was like i have to see what the face what's the face what's the face why do you care it bothered me so much because his t-shirt cut exactly where the neck was and i thought if i have to know anyway i felt a bit weird to like tap him on the shoulder in the middle of the lectures but i did it anyway no but then halfway

I don't know where you went in the loo probably. I saw him in the... You went upstairs. Yes, saw him in the corridor. We'd separated. We'd separated. And I saw him in the corridor and I said, excuse me. I said, I know this is a bit weird.

But I have to see the top of your tattoo. I have to see the face. Because I've been sitting... Like, your t-shirt cuts on the line. Anyway, he lifted the t-shirt. What do you think the face was? It was headless. It was headless.

I was like, what? My mind is blown. He said, I think it's a bit weird to have face. with tattoos so it's headless. Oh, that's weird. And I said, but come on. That's what's weird in this conversation. I was like, but come on.

It is Madonna. It is Madonna's body, isn't it? He said, it's totally Madonna. Which is why I'm fairly sure he was a gay man because he's got a tattoo of Madonna's on his arm, right? Yeah. That's a good point. I said, I'm sorry.

I know it's weird, but I would not have been able to sleep tonight if I had not. Although, let's talk about the time when you did flirt with a man at another podcast event. Oh, yeah. And you did assume he was gay. I did. And then you actually spoke about running off to Santorini for a holiday the next day with him. Yeah.

And then you realized... He was actually straight. Straight as you like. Straight as a die. And then... Then I'd just get myself in trouble. And then he was like... Couldn't believe that he was going on holiday with you the next day to Santa Rini

and you were running away together, I think. The term you used was. And then we had to avoid him all night. All night. All night. You're like, oh my God. Reverse. He's not gay.

Reverse. He's not gay. He's a straight man. Where's my gay dar? He's a straight man. And I've just said I'm going on holiday with him. Anyway, so you're more yourself and I am like so like if it is on my lung, it is on my tongue. I can't.

This morning I was playing paddle, not in the usual place that I play paddle. I was playing in a social and it was very man heavy and I got onto the top court because I kept winning. Don't want to show off, but I did. Anyway, so then my last game was with all these men and this one guy kept smashing the fucking ball at me. And you know what? It's bad paddle etiquette to do that if you're the only woman on the. course. It's not on. Well, you're using your pointy finger, so I'm going to assume that it's true, but I don't know for a fact. It's not on. Normally, I suck it up. Yeah. And I hate the game and I

can't wait for it to end. And I actually, at one point, and I said to him, stop smashing the ball at me. And I said it just like that, like I'm telling off my child. And you know what? He looked at me and he stopped smashing the ball at me. And I thought to myself, if he smashes the ball at me one more time, I am simply going to leave. Can you just throw your racket in his head? I don't even need to do that. Because that's aggressive, by the way. But so smash your ball at you. That's also bad bad leddicket. Really?

Are you sure? I don't need to do that. I was just going to literally walk off the court and thought, fuck this. Because I am like, that's where I am. Like, fuck this. If I don't like it, I ain't doing it. And I am loving it. I feel empowered.

I feel alive. I feel myself. I am like... But not quite yourself, but yourself. Huh? Not quite yourself, but yourself. I feel like I'm an exaggerate. version of myself.

Wow. Take a deep breath. It's going to be a ride. But what's wrong with that? Nothing. Nothing. No, it feels like you've got a lot to say. Just say it.

No. Come on, say it. It's going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot. It's going to be a lot. Listen. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know what to tell you. This is where I'm at. This is who I am in postmenopals. Maybe your uterus was just holding you back all this time. Maybe it's fallopian tubes weighing you down. Those fucking ovaries have been holding me back all my life. Who knew? Who knew?

Just take out the whole lot. Take out the whole lot. And here I am. I felt like I could burst into a cabaret song. You know? I'm not a strange. Okay. Okay.

I'm worried. Is it this as me? It is. This is me, yeah. But thankfully you haven't got the beard. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have. Who said I haven't?

Another beauty of postmenopause. We can do the circus then. I can do the poll and you can be the bearded lady. We're there. We are there. We're going to run a circus. Maybe that is what's next for us. Do you remember we went to the crystal reading as she said,

oh, what you're going to build is a team. But what she meant was. A freak show. A circus. The circus. Great. What will James do? Oh, James could do many things.

He could be like the grumpy man in the corner. He could be the ringmaster. He'd love that. He would be a brilliant ringmaster. He actually really would. Oh, my God. You have found his dream job. Right, now we just need a dwarf on a pony, a very tall ghost woman.

Yeah. And a trapeze artist. And Zach Ephron. Oh. Oh. But only Zach Ephron in the greatest showman. You're not post. You know what?

Pre-Greater Showman and post. No, pre-was too young and post, his face went weird. It's literally like, he was like perfection in the greatest showman. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, that's it. He peaked. And Zendaya on a trapeze and we're there.

We don't need Zendaya because she'll make us feel shit. I don't need Zendaya in my face on the trapeze. Do you? I mean, I just don't need that shit in Postman. But I'm telling you, I'm telling you, she can take her tree. And her lizard. Oh, she can shove that right up her little ass. James is a ringmaster.

That has got a real ring to it. Do you want to hear the listener meltdown? Yeah. Hi, ladies. I have a fashion meltdown to share after listening to your spring style episode. I was on Vinted late at night. I bought a black and white polka dot midi dress.

I agree, Nicole, it's going to be a one-season trend. I'm not into the poker dots at all. But I was so chuffed at getting it at basically the same price as a Tesco meal deal, so it felt worth it. Anyway, it arrived yesterday in a very small package. A Tesco meal deal. I had this conversation. My daughter last night is £3. Right.

No, it was on vintage, she said. She got it on vintage. Oh. Later night. I'm a size 8, but I had managed to buy a dress for age 8. My daughter is 15, so I can't even give it to her. I am blaming my eyesight and brain fog. You have to be careful.

on Vinted, you have to really read the small print. Because you can see how that could happen. Yeah. Yeah, that's a cool middy dress. Oh. And also it's three quid, if it was the meal deal price. Yeah. It's three quids.

It's like, what, you can do with it? Nothing. You're going to stick it. Or you're going to stick it back on Vinted. You know what? For the three quid, I don't know if I could even be bothered. Yeah. But yeah.

Well, no, I'd put it on for a tenor. You're taking tips from my son now. No, well, that's what you would do, right? Would you? I don't know. I had to put a load of stuff on Vintage for my dad. Because if there's one person in the world that would make me go back on Vinted, it was only going to be my dad.

I wouldn't do that for anybody else. Did you set up the new account? Yeah. Oh, good for you. I did. And I put a whole load of plates. Plate. How are you going to post it?

Plates. Okay. What do you think I said? No, plates. I'm just thinking how much fucking bubble wrap are you going to have to buy in? ship. Well, they're moving, so they're into the whole bubble. There's a lot of bubble wrap around me.

Okay, okay, good to know. Okay, so I need some. I'm telling you, there's a whole set of Villaroy-Bosch plates and bowls, beautiful, perfect mint condition. Unvinted now. Yeah. Go grab them. Go grab them.

I'm telling you. They're an absolute perfect condition. I mean, I don't need them. They tried to palm them off to Daisy for her uni. Yeah. She was like, no, that's okay. They're a bit great. up for her.

Yeah. You could keep them in the loft until she gets married. She's not going to want them. No. Okay, listeners, that's it. That's it for this week. Who knows what next week will bring?

I'm scared. I'm scared. I am scared. I'm scared. I'm telling you, that guy, he was not a fan of me by the time we left that paddock call. He didn't even say goodbye.

I'm not surprised. Terrified. We'll be back next week. Have a great weekend, everybody. Bye.