A Geek History of Time - Episode 287 - The One Ring and Who Is Sam-Wise Enough to Resist

Episode Date: October 25, 2024

See, people when they click on this, they'll see the title, so they'll be like, poor Ed. What does that even fucking mean? However, because it's England, that's largely ignored and unstudied. I really wished for the sake of my sense of moral righteousness that I could get away with saying no. He had a god damned ancestral home and a noble title until Germany became a republic. You know, none of this highfalutin, you know, critical role stuff. So they chewed through my favorite shit.

No, I'm not helping them. I'm gonna say that you're getting into another kind of, you know, Mediterranean, Ur, psyche archetype kind of thing. Makes sense. Also trade winds are a thing. Ha ha, just serious. Like, no, he really has a mad on him. Yeah, we'll go upon a tangent. As we keep doing.

Like, yeah, this is how we fill time. I'm going to go to the bathroom. This is a Geek History of Time. Where we connect nerdery to the real world. My name is Ed Blaylock. I'm a world history teacher here in Northern California. And as I have mentioned previously, I have managed to get my wife and my son both involved in a Pathfinder game that gets together once a month and we're playing on Roll20 online. And we've been going at it for a while. We are at 8th level.

We are about to make 9th. And just to fool around with the Pathfinder rules, I started working on a backup character in case anything happens to mine. And I set him up at ninth level. And I decided, you know, if anything does happen to my current character, I'm going to go from Paladin to Ranger because I want to have some more skills to be a little bit more useful in that area. And I was adding stuff up and I got to the point where I looked at

the number of skill points character had available and then I looked at my own character and I Messaged our our DM I said hey, I just want to make sure That I've been calculating things right in terms of hit points Because in Pathfinder for those who are unaware

If you gain a level in what is called your favored class So at first level and as a human at first level you get to pick Whatever class you want to have as your favorite class. So I'm playing a human pallet and my wife's playing a human rogue and We haven't multi class so obviously those are gonna be their favorite classes. Yeah, basically I've already drawn this out too long. I figured out that for the last literally eight levels I have been overlooking points that we could have been using for shit and there have been

multiple occasions as the party tank where those those eight hit points could have could have made the difference between You know remaining standing and getting knocked down very hard so yeah I feel kind of like an idiot I'd feel like more of an idiot if Pathfinder wasn't quite as crunchy as it is but yeah that was my facepalm my gamer facepalm moment earlier today. How about you? Well, I'm Damian Harmony. I am a US history teacher up here in Northern, California at the high school level and My son has really gotten into a couple of video games lately. I think I've talked about this already one being the

The force unleashed and then he did the sequel Which is wild because that's a game that existed before he did. So I keep old consoles for a reason. But then he also, he said, hey, can you buy Jedi Fallen Order? And he's been playing that. In fact, while we record, I let the kids kind of do what they want, which means they can do passive screens or active screens if they want. And so he typically plays Jedi Fallen Order while we're recording the first episode.

And he also has that lightsaber. And so what that means is, I hear that lightsaber going off as he's gone to bed almost every night. Which is hilarious. But he absolutely adores Jedi Fallen Order. He is just all about the story. He's telling me all about it. And what's really cool there is this basic thing.

My son is learning Star Wars lore that I don't know And that's neat nice. That's yeah, that's also a very very limited Limited range of stars and lore right there. Yeah. Yes, so it's pretty cool, but it is technically canon now, too Whereas all the lore that I know isn't so Okay granted. Yeah, the new has the young has replaced the old. Yes uh, but anyway So, okay. Hold on. I'm i dan now now i'm gonna have to ask questions about this. So, okay

It is it is canon Primarily just because it has been created under the ages of Disney Yes, they approve all content including okay, okay, and okay, so Cal Kestis and That's exist. Oh, okay. Fuck you can buy his lightsaber at a sobby's shop Yes, all right. Yeah, all right. Yeah, that should not have It's as cannon. Yeah, it says cannon as Jackie Mason's girlfriend in in caddyshack 2

Okay, there you go. I am canis. Yeah So, oh, all right. All right. Yeah, very cool. Yeah, so tonight I figure since Since I've been depressing us lately with so many stories of sadness That I would find things to perk us up. Okay. Yeah So this one is a list of people who wouldn't be corrupted by the One Ring. Ooh. By the Precious. Okay. So. Alright, now is this gonna be broken down in kind of similar categories?

fiction and real life. Yeah. Okay. Alright. So, so gotta get into it a little bit. Feel free to quibble and correct me as you go. little bit. Feel free to quibble and correct me as you go. But the one ring, the precious, forged by Sauron to do cool decoding shit, right? That's why you get a ring. It's a decoder ring. It's in the Black Hills of North Dakota. So if you find it at the bottom of the Cheerios box, right because there's all those rings So it is used to either decode shit or to dominate those who held the other rings of power Okay. Thank you. And sure. All right now we Was like, okay. So is he intentionally leaving an opening for me to? But no, all right. So all right. Yes, we have that. We have that point covered.

All right. It made, it made people who wore it deathless, but not ageless. It didn't grant new life, but it did just let them carry on well past the point of weariness. Yes. The one ring later called the precious would corrupt any mortal who held it Eventually turning its wearer into a wraith over time Yeah, this of course required wearing it frequently which explains why Smeagol who is called Gollum didn't wraith up Because he hardly ever wore the fucking thing. He just fingered it a lot He possessed it, but he didn't wear it much, right? So he didn't never race.

I want to quibble a little bit here. He didn't wear it constantly. Right. Right. He did. He used it enough and frequently enough that it led to his degeneration He was simply if and if he kept doing that for the next 800 years, he would have raised up Oh, yeah, you ask I don't his his wraith rate was like really slow. Yeah like sloth wraith sloth wraith, yes, I I I don't even know if it would have been for another 800 years like I I You think he was on the the the the verge of Wraithing? I?

Don't know if he was on the verge of Wraithing, but I don't think it would have taken That many centuries okay fair enough fair enough so based based on How it's been described, okay, so so He possessed it. He wore it in Unconstantly enough that he corrupted it certainly had addictive qualities to it. Yes Gandalf and Galadriel specifically refused to wear it knowing that they'd end up like Sauron And given how powerful they were they knew how bad for Middle-earth that would be Mm-hmm

There is one Person besides I love Samwise Gamgee. I question Whether or not he would have been corrupted I think he would have but it would have taken even longer. It would have taken a very, very, very long time because of the nature of his ambition. Yes. There is one person though in Middle Earth besides Samwise Gamgee for whom it would have taken even longer,

and that is Tom Bombadil. He would not have been corrupted, and that's Tolkien canon talking.. He would not have been corrupted. And that's Tolkien canon talking. It is. But neither was Tom Bombadil useful. This is, yes. From book two, The Council of Elrond, Elrond begins discussing where to send the ring to

keep it safe, first suggesting Tom Bombadil, quote, and correct me on pronunciations as always needs to happen, Yarwain Ben Adar, Adar? Adair? Ben Adar. Ben Adar. We called him oldest and fatherless, but many other name he has since been given by other folk born by the dwarves Orald by the northern men and other names besides He is a strange creature, but maybe I should have him summoned to our council Gandalf glibly responds he would not have come Could we not still send messages to him and obtain his help asked a rest or?

Could we not still send messages to him and obtain his help? Asked Arrester. Arrester. Arrester. Arrester. Who the fuck is that? One of the other high elves in the last homely house. All right. I assume he's someone important. So he goes on. Arrester goes on, quote,

it seems that he has a power even over the ring. No, I should not put it so, said Gandalf. Say rather that the ring has no power over him. He is his own master, but he cannot alter the ring itself nor break its power over others. And then Gandalf goes on to talk about how Tom Bombadil lives happily on his own and that even if everyone begged Bombadil to take it He'd probably just lose it or throw it away and that would just delay things. That's how incorruptible he is Others talked about how he'd still not be able to defeat Sauron once the ring came back to Sauron But he would be the last to actually fall Okay

Galdor who's a guy who was there, I guess. I need to interject here. Oh, sure. Arastor, Galdor, all of these, all of these names that nobody recognizes because they only appear in the book and they only appear here. They are all elves of, of Elrond's household, essentially. Household Hubbard, right? Decidedly not.

Oh, he doesn't have them digging for gold and going out on boats? No. Oh, no? Okay. Different Elrond Hubbard. Yes, it's very decidedly different So no the the all of these like you you see their names and they have a line of dialogue and then we promptly Forget about them because they fuck off and never show up again. And there's by the way, there's Forget about them because they fuck off and never show up again, and there's by the way There's fifteen thousand words to book two of Ron's council. It's like the most unbalanced fucking writing

Like it is it yeah, okay But anyway, so galdor arrest galdor Arastor all of these figures are our names lipitor You know could be one These are all names that that ask your high council of libitors right for you for you. Yeah. Ah, this leg syndrome may not apply. May not. Yeah.

You may develop the urge to go there and back. Yeah. Nice. Thanks. These these were names and individuals that at a reading circle of the inklings Led CS Lewis to loudly exclaim. Oh not another fucking elf Which which of course made John Ronald rule, you know clam up and well, if you're going to be like that, I'm not going to read.

And this was partly a scheme because Tolkien, not a great reader allowed. He was kind of halting and difficult to listen to. But his son, who at that point was an adult, was much more fluid and much more, much more easy on the ear. And so they were all able after, after CS Lewis had his very calculated outburst, they were all able to convince Tolkien. Well, okay, you know, let Kermit read, let, let, let Christopher read it. Yeah. You were, so, but yeah, not another fucking else. Love it. Just yeah

So okay, so this other fucking elf says and I didn't know he's an elf like but they're all their names all ended in or So I was like, oh, these are probably all men who showed up Because there's gone door more door like shut the door keep out the devil Nice thanks. It's different, yeah. Nice. Thanks. It's different epistemological roots at work. Mordor, Gondor, the word, the suffix door means land.

Okay. Whereas with all of these figures, it's something's something else and okay and noldor in so yeah So he said quote our to defy our enemies is not in him our enemy is not in him enemies capitalized Yeah, yeah, um so it's not so much that Tom Bombadil is all-powerful. He's just not corruptible Yeah, and neither other following in fiction Mm-hmm starting off. Okay. I kind of wish I'd done this like a basketball team Because I'm gonna be like starting off at point guard

Yeah, yeah, but in fiction the first one night crawler Kurt Wagner. All right, all right. Yeah, here, let me make my case. All right. He is no conjurer of cheap tricks, unlike Robin Zander. Nightcrawler, more than any Marvel character,

save for one, exemplifies incorruptible virtue. He grew up in the worst possible of ways, in a circus. He was raised by the goodness of the freaks and the performers and managed to not slip into depression, alcoholism, abuse, or exploitation. And how do you do that and you look like a goddamn demon and you're kept sedated by the ringmaster who does live by Exploiting others and addicting them to substances while living among circus folk in Central Europe The answer is heart and no I don't mean the music of Anna Nancy Wilson in fact when Kurt but good When when he fled he didn't seek vengeance. He sought sanctuary.

Oddly, this may be the only time the Catholic Church has delivered on its promise. Father Wagner took him in and gave him a safe place to feel safe. Okay. Now, it was only when the ringmaster, Herr Gettman, came to reclaim Kurt that Kurt then turned to violence and as he was winning and whooping ass Like Samwise was doing to Gollum father Wagner reminded him of his humanity at which point Kurt relented So we have a similar I can beat ass and I can be stopped from beating ass in the middle of beating ass

Okay, now whenever he took command of the X-Men And he did he did so willingly Decisively and with zero ego this comes back to what you're talking about with the ambition This is evidenced by how quickly he gave up leadership when other more experienced X-Men returned Then he joins Excalibur the team across the pond pond, and he and his fellow members gently confront Captain Britain about Captain Britain's drinking problem. Hurt is not a confrontation guy, he is an intervention guy. He genuinely approaches every situation

with compassion and humility. And when he was tricked into fighting the monsters later in life, this is of course after he's finished the seminary and he's an honest-to-god priest of the Catholic Church, he still led with his heart. Specifically, once he'd quit the X-Men for yet another spell, this time because he stepped aside to let Pixie, a better teleporter, have her time with the team. He then went back to his home in Winseldorf where they'd set up a Nightcrawler museum But he also they also had done that because they're like hey come and visit us because we actually need your help with this problem

And they needed him to fight a monster called Villefrost and as it turns out Villefrost was a 16 year old kid who had been cursed by a Romani witch and Villefrost was a 16 year old kid who'd been cursed by a Romani witch, and instead of fighting Villefrost to the death, Nightcrawler straight up defended this monster against his own hometown and the people who loved him, because he was just a kid who was getting exploited. When Nightcrawler died, he'd fucking died saving hope he spent time trying in heaven he spent time trying to help Logan to not seek vengeance on those who killed him now it's Logan so of course he failed but he was still end up going to heaven and of course Nightcrawler

ended up coming back to and while he's in heaven by the way he kind of is a loner because he doesn't feel like he should be there, and he doesn't feel like he's done. And of course, he ends up coming back to the living through these marvelous means, but he ends up without a soul for a while, and even during the time he doesn't have a soul, he's still good.

And despite failing most of the time, and despite losing almost fucking everyone he loves Including Logan Kurt Wagner never really flagged in leading with his heart The deaths that were attributed to him were never malicious deaths nor were they any of them on purpose? Several of the people he killed he did so by failing to thread the needle of ending the threat, but keeping them alive Even onslaughts final death was more because Kurt led Krakoa in a communion that destroyed onslaught Rather than direct assassination of onslaught Okay, so I think this guy

Would be okay Samwise tier. He's, he's, he's easily Samwise tier. The one, the one thing I might point out. Sure. Is, um, Gandalf specifically says the way it would corrupt me Would be I would want to help basically the way yeah, yeah the way the way I would just want to fix everything But Kurt doesn't want to fix everything He wants to show everyone compassion. He's an interventionist not a confrontationalist All right, he doesn't try to fix Oh god, what's his name?

Captain Britton Braddock he doesn't try to fix Braddock He makes Braddock aware of the problem that and and the damage that that problem is causing He tries to help communities he's not trying to fix them he's trying to give them sucker Okay, so yeah, it would be it would be Eventually, right the the corruption would would be the Lord of the Garden Yeah, yeah, and it would take forever because that's That's really hard to turn into like you got it You got to make a lot of moral steps before right turn to something. All right, and by by the way who is a really good gardener?

Samwise yeah, so yeah. Yeah, all right all right the next one a little more pugnacious Happy Hogan also from Marvel Now this is a new open Hogan from the comics not from the TV from the movies, okay Happy Hogan is incredibly selfless the dude started as a boxer, okay? You're all I was I was confused I was confused for a second because you said happy Hogan and in my head I saw dumb dumb Dugan I was like are you different? Hi? Yeah, okay. No all right

Dugan would absolutely be like he he would like step over Or a mirror and going no no we can use it first. Yeah. Yeah All right, so happy. Oh, yeah. Happy. Oh good. All right now. I'm gonna write started out as a boxer And he he would lose fights Because he didn't want to hurt people fights because he didn't want to hurt people. He didn't want to fight hard enough to knock his opponents out because then he'd feel bad having knocked them out. Yeah. Which honestly sounds like me in a fight probably. Probably. Except he was more skilled. When he ran across a racetrack with no thought to

his own safety to pull a racer out of a burning car that racer was so impressed with his heroism that he offered happy a reward said I'll give you money and happy said no no I would like a job and that's how he became Tony Stark's chauffeur all right now oddly despite being a boxer happy continually fought outside of his weight class. Well, you know, when you're Iron Man's bodyguard. Well, you're Iron Man. You're not Iron Man's bodyguard. You're Tony Stark's chauffeur.

Yeah, I said what I said. True. Like, Yeah, you're not Iron Man's bodyguard. You're Tony Stark's bodyguard. Tony's not wearing the armor. Yeah, which is worse. Yeah, fundamentally Yeah, but as early as 1964 Happy was taking on supervillains with not but his own fists and losing badly because of it And yet he kept getting up and he never let it deter him He often would end up hospitalized for the effort, but he would keep doing it.

By the 1970s, Happy and Pepper were a platonic couple, but not for a lack of interest, just their interests kept not intersecting. And since Happy had actually donned Iron Man's armor a bunch of times, and again, gotten hospitalized in the process to keep Stark's charade and alibi up, Pepper stepped in straight up and moved herself and Happy away from Tony Stark and away from Stark Industries

for a while, noting that being in Tony's orbit was bad for people's health. Well, yeah. Yeah, now that doesn't keep Happy away. His loyalty was met only by his stubbornness. Loyalty. Not giving up, no matter how many times you get beat. When Stark fell into the bottle and Rhodes took over as Iron Man for a while, Happy again

donned the armor. He used it not to defeat the enemies, by the way. He used it to distract them and rescue his allies Mm-hmm time and again. He doesn't look to win. He simply looks to minimize the impact at his own expense Now by the time of the Civil War, which is to me the 9-eleven of of Marvel Pepper and happy are fully an item They are married and. And when Happy, yet again, ends up taking on another supervillain, this time Spymaster, he ends up able to actually defeat Spymaster

with not but his fists. But he also falls off of a stanchion and ends up on life support for his efforts. Now, Pepper knows that Happy doesn't wanna stick around as a punch-drunk bum, and she beseeches Tony to take him off of life support. She's like, he would not have wanted to live at diminished capacity, and it's pretty fucking clear

that Tony actually does use the extremists to take him off of life support, and Happy dies at the end of the issue. But while Happy was alive, that fucking ring would have never touched him. He absolutely would hold on to the ring and never put it on. Even the times he could have been armed with extremists or some other armor to make him a better fighter against Unicorn, Titanium Man, Spymaster, or the Mandarin, he never does.

He never looks to win. And as a result, he wouldn't become a terrible being infused with corruptive and seductive power of the One Ring. Okay. All right. I can buy this. Okay. I can buy this. There is a level of, uh, he's clearly humble. He's clearly self-deprecating. My question, not even going to say quibble. My question is, does that level of self-deprecation

go to a level of self-doubt? No. That, okay. In fact, it goes the other way. I would say the only ambition he has was where he's taking on Spymaster, he says, I always wondered how I'd go up against one of you guys, and now I get my chance to find out. Like he wanted to find out how good he was, but he didn't want to be like, ah, I won. He wanted to be like, you know.

Which is interesting because canonically he had fought several others, but he'd fought them in other capacities. This was literally just him in his suit and his fists. Fighting, I think in a hanger. So he's like up at the top of something that would help people repair the Stark jet kind of thing. So. Okay. All right. So really to a certain extent, he is the Sam Gamgee figure. Yes. in the Iron Man family yeah We might notice a pattern with who ends up being worthy. Yeah. Yeah, who ends up being incorruptible Which I find that analogy interesting because there is no Frodo in that group

Correct there's like no sorry. There's a Sherlock in that group. Yeah and I'm not just saying that because I thought it was cuz he played Sherlock goes yeah No, no the the Sherlock I had in my head was actually Benedict Cumberbatch And I'm just making a parallel between the two characters like you know thinking you fucking know everything right right? between the two characters like you know thinking you fucking know everything right right um but yeah um it's not just because it's robert downey jr in both cases but like yeah there there is there's no frodo there but there's the same gem g yeah which says something about the power of that archetype um good job with archetype by the way. Thank you Um, so okay. All right. Yeah, I so this next one i'm going to stretch your credulity

um As wide as I can here. So here we go. All right. No, okay. let me make mine. Sure. The thing is you're not wrong. But the reason I'm going to say you're not wrong is because Jack Burton is the action movie equivalent of an orange cat My kids have seen the movie I'm gonna ask them if they think the same All right, I mean tell me I'm wrong no Alright, but go ahead. All right, I feel like this almost does now but go ahead

No, I can't yeah, Jack Burton is the ultimate loyal friend who lives according to his own principles This makes him hard to corrupt ultimately look at it from the very beginning He's his own man, but absolutely has no problem Seconding himself to someone at the drop of a hat or the welshing of a bet He accompanies Wang to the airport and immediately buys into the troubles that Wang is having when Miao Lin gets kidnapped No question. No doubt. No hesitation simply just hopping in ship and all All right, he could he and he gets his ass beat regularly, but he never Very rarely he comes out on top, but he never seeks advantage beyond his own ability either

In fact one could say that that very quality is why he's getting his ass beat so much getting his ass beat so much. But also, one could point out that such a refusal to enhance his abilities beyond the potion that makes you feel kind of invincible is what would keep him from thinking that the One Ring would be the thing that would save Gondor. He is also- I don't need any piece of jewelry. Right, exactly. Yeah.

Oh, come on there, Gandalf. You're telling me one ring would rule them all? I don't buy it. I don't buy that. Yeah, just, all right, come on, ringwraiths. You really couldn't find the other ring in all this time? But he's also without attachment, ultimately. He chooses to leave Gracie Law

without even kissing her goodbye because he knows his limits He doesn't need the one ring because the checks in the mail So he's gonna make sure when the rates are stabbing and the uruk high are raining arrows down in the size of your arm That old Jack Burton will look that big old Palantir square in the eye and say give me your best shot pal. I can take it I'm still going with orange cat like yeah All of that just solidifies my thesis

All of that just solidifies my thesis. Yeah. But... I could just see the eye turning. Who are you? Jack Burton. Jack Burton. Who? Who?

Yeah. Ah, and then, you know, some General in the army of Mordor You know flings a spear at him and without even thinking about it he manages to catch it reverse it and fling it back And is that's all in the right? Yeah, he's surprised at his own success as everybody else that try out cover it. It's all in the reflex No, he would just be like for Frodo Oh my god, I want somebody to make that fan film. Alright, so this is the, let's see, yeah, this is the penultimate, this one is the penultimate

fictional character. Okay. The only one who's not a sidekick. Chewbacca. Right, because we've discussed this in the past. Yes, Han is the sidekick. Han is clearly the sidekick, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Now, this is the only main character to make the list. This long-suffering, silent partner boss to the Corellian mouthpiece himself, Chewbacca, would never let the One Ring corrupt him.

He would reject the precious in that way. He's the veteran of four wars who's been on the losing side as often as he's been on the winning side. This 235-year-old, 2.3-meter walking carpet has known love and loss and loss and love. He's witnessed his nephew murdering his best friend. He's lost almost every human who's ever mattered to him and done so largely away from his own family and his own home. Why? Because Chewbacca, despite being a hero, despite being a father and a husband, is a Wookie first and foremost. And that means he honors his life debts. A wookiee willing to sacrifice more than a quarter of his life with his family by keeping safe a

Corellian braggart, an Alderaanian aristocrat, and a Tatooinean farm boy who'd been radicalized by an old cleric of a forgotten superstition. Couldn't leave it a Tatooine for a point. Nope. At any point, Chewbacca could have sought some cataclysmic way to make things different for his people who were enslaved, but instead he put his head down, did the hard fucking work. He didn't look for a quick fix to their problems. He saw the empire rise and fall and re-rise and re-fall again

in his lifetime, and he knew what no human knew, which was that sustained effort, however small and gritty and non-sexy, was the way to go. This wookie thinks in decades, and a wookie who thinks in decades doesn't find the thrall of the One Ring to rule them all to be particularly Precious or enticing he's as close to Tom Bombadil as it gets while still being more like Bjorn and Terms of something and and this this means that it would have no power over him because he would not see it as a worthwhile tool mmm

So all right worthwhile tool. Mm. Alright. What I find interesting about everything you just said is that the figure out of Tolkien that immediately leapt to my mind was Aragorn. Yeah.

Played a long game. You know, a hundred and something years old. Yup. Has lived through it all, seen it all. And is cool being second to pretty much anybody. Yeah. And, and knows that he has a birthright, knows that, you know, this, this is, this is who he is. But when presented with the ring, the prize, turns it down.

Fuck, he turns down his own sword. Yeah. Yeah, tries to. And that's the same spirit, you know, and when we talked about when you told me about Who would be worthy to wield Mjolnir? Mm-hmm Chewbacca is him to mind right up there because the humility and the Self knowledge and self understanding. Yeah, he just never held back

He did hold back the storm if somebody was around him to say a safe word Yes, but otherwise he was throwing white suits until he got shot To convince him otherwise Yeah, punch punch all Nazis all Nazis yeah even in space Yeah, like okay. Oh is that is that what we're doing? Yeah, is that what oh you about to freeze my boy? Okay? Yeah, you're gonna have to do it with a lot fewer staff. Yeah I hope I hope you brought a lot of guys in white armor, right? Yeah, you're gonna need some binary load lifters cuz I'm about to throw all the guys you plan to carry it

Yeah Yep, yeah, so all right all right. I can see that okay, so the next one This is the last fictional character, and then we'll move into historical characters all right the last fictional character piglet Okay, are we talking? Disney piglet no we're talking a mill knee piglet. Yeah Okay, cuz cuz Disney piglet got kind of flanderized True true became kind of a one- character. And, and I think, uh, uh, Disney Piglet,

Disney Piglet has a lot of, a lot of fear and anxiety going on. That's, that's, that's going to be a gateway. And I don't think that I, I think the way that you're right, but I think the way that he addresses his fear and anxiety keeps him from using the precious. I think in the books we get to see more of that. Yes. And so I can believe that.

Yes. And that's why we're literary piglet. Okay. So Piglet once said, it is very hard to be brave when you're only a very small animal. He embodied what Taoists might refer to as the Te, power or virtue, and the Te of the very small at that. Now Piglet knows exactly who he is. He knows his limits, he does not have ambition about that, in fact he knows that he is not brave, and he knows that he will not overcome his fear, and yet he still faces his fears regularly.

He never imposes upon anyone, and he practices wu-wei to such an extent that everyone recognizes his softness and his heart. This is not someone who utilizes hard power or manipulation in any way. He simply exists. He is action without effort. He's a very small animal, but he's very fine with it, fully fine. He doesn't envy poo for his size, rabbit for his cleanliness, or owl for his wisdom. Piglet's greatest weakness is his insecurity.

Right. But that insecurity is also the source of his greatest strength, which is his empathy. Okay. He is happy to live on as a friend to all and to be included where others want to include him. Piglet would have no use for the ring and no envy surrounding the ring. The rain may come, but Piglet accepts that the rain would come, even on the most blustery of days.

And by going with the flow, he's never one to be engulfed by it, although he comes close on that chair that one time. But he's also faced all the situations in which his courage and his innovation are tested and he doesn't mind failing at them and getting back up. He's no ring yearner. He simply lacks the resistance to necessitate being overcome by the ring.

There's a quote that I heard Stephen Yeun, Glenn from Walking Dead walking dead. Yeah, he said that there was a quote that he kept in his mind while he's filming a Korean movie or he's filming. No, he's filming beef recently. Oh, yeah, and which I kind of want to see But he said what we what we resist we uphold What we resist, we uphold. Fuck. Right. Now... That's really elegant and very, very deep. Yeah.

It's troubling too. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I think Piglet embodies that. I think Piglet would not... He wouldn't resist and therefore the

ring wouldn't overcome him. He would keep it on a shelf. You know I'm not saying it wouldn't get stolen from him, it would, but it would not corrupt him because he keep it on a shelf next to the urn of Trespassers William. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it would be a very bombadillion circumstance in that it would not matter to him. He wouldn't take it seriously. Right, and he wouldn't take it seriously because I'm too powerful for that shit, like Jack Burton might.

Jack Burton's just too stupid to use it. Orange Cat. The next time I watch that movie that's gonna be in my head the whole time because I've made that realization. Like, oh my god. Anyway, sorry. Yeah. No, but Piglet, he wouldn't use it because he'd be afraid of it being overcoming. I've failed so many times before there's no way I'm going to let that happen. I'm not touching that thing.

Right. Yeah. So. All right. All right. All right. Historically. Okay.

So there are only two people. Historically. Yeah. All right. That I could find. Now there's only one person contemporarily well, I do have two people that are honorable mention for your considerations, but These next three people I am going to argue are are incorruptible by the one ring by the pressure. Okay. All right

Diogenes Yeah Because Diogenes didn't have enough fucks to give right no ambition whatsoever No desire to rise up no desire to rule no desire to be ruled no just you're fucking wrong Yeah He got angry at a bowl once and then threw it and then he was cool because he could find that he and he was mad Because he found that oh if I just cut my hands together That's like having a bowl This fucking thing the fucking bowl, right? Yeah

If a man's goal is to live like a dog that is there's no past or future that matters No desire beyond handling your present needs and wanting nothing to do with social norms He's not gonna think any ring is more precious than a drink of water Norms, he's not gonna think any ring is more precious than a drink of water. Like I could see Sauron offering it to him and he'd be like, uh, could you move your light a little bit that way? Yeah, you're, you're, you're, you're the moon is rising. I want to see it. You're blocking my right.

You know, yeah. Like you're obstructing my view of a gog, you know Whatever. Yeah, you know, um, he's not corruptible because he's not susceptible to such things And he has no he has no reverence for right Anything so there isn't there isn't anything there isn't anything like you you couldn't you can get to Some like a whole lot of figures out of history who are who are otherwise pillars of virtue Who would because they are immediately but yeah who would fall in a heartbeat because they are they are so tied to a nation state or an institution or whatever

Or a principle. Yeah, Diogenes is like no That's all Bufarov like that's bullshit like be old a man like right You know you're you're all so busy trying to show what smart fuckers you are no, right? I don't care right Like the fish that swam by the ring Would have cared more about the ring than diogenes. Yeah So all right, yeah, I can I can I can actually I can grant you that one I see that all right All right, the next one we're gonna come all the way into the 20th century for our po marks

Not Groucho not not Zeppo, not Gummo, not Normie. Three Stooges. Yeah. Certainly not any of the Stooges. Harpo Marx. He is the cinematic diogenes in a lot of ways. I think you've made your case just with that analogy. Now that's the character that he played. I'm talking about the man behind the wig though, all right? Okay. Yeah, by all accounts, he is one of the rare people in movies and in comedy who was a genuinely good dad to the four children he and his only wife adopted.

His brothers, well, actually, I think he and Chico stayed married to the same, their wives their whole lives. Everyone else in that family got remarried a bunch of times. I think Groucho had three wives. But Harpo actually married his wife and then they adopted four children. George Burns actually once asked him how many kids he planned to adopt and he said I want to adopt as many kids as I have windows in my house so that when I return from work I'll see all of their smiling faces. Like name somebody in movies who's actually a good dad and doesn't have like massive problems in life, especially from that era. You pretty much just get Harpo.

He actually, so Harpo's thing is that as a character on screen, he never talked. Right. Right. He'd honk horns and stuff like that. And there was a TV network that tried to pay him a lot of money, money that would have taken care of his family in all kinds of ways,

tried to pay him a lot of money, to talk as a TV stunt. And he refused to sell out. Now what hobbit does that sound like to you? Yeah. Right? Yeah. You know, I'm gonna say that on, depending on the day, Barry and Pippin might do the same thing just because of their commitment to the bit. Yeah. Not out of any like sense of virtue, but just like no right right ruin that the Joe could be ruined Like I can't I can't do that like come on at the same time as soon as one of them found out that there was a pint He sold out his friends, so

They they were dumb sold out sold out They were dumb sold out sold out you fucked up and Say fucked up. Yeah, didn't sell them out because they grew they certainly grew. Yeah, I mean no pun intended there, but all right So here's here's a quote from his son quote He never drove a fancy car didn't wear expensive clothes from France or Italy or live an extravagant lifestyle. Simple things made him happy. What Hobbit am I talking about, right? His daughter also echoes a similar sentiment. Again, what Hobbit will this sound like to you? Quote, my dad taught me that you always have to look out, look for the good in people. He never had a negative thing to say about a person, at least that I ever heard. He also taught me to think before you speak,

especially when you are mad. Yep. Yeah. Again, I'm major, major game G energy. Exactly. Like I'm, I'm pinning everybody to Samwise. Yeah. Like if it's going to corrupt them, it's's gonna take a really long time. Yeah. So that dude's not gonna be moved by a precious. No. He's not. No. Now that's it for history. Let's talk about contemporary. All right. CM Punk. Okay. He is wrestling's angry grumpy Diogenes. Okay.

His whole career has been held back by a combination of others' efforts and his own stubbornness and unwillingness to compromise what he sees as his integrity. Whether I agree with him or not, that's what he sticks to. Like most of the other people on this list, CM Punk just wouldn't care about any goddamn ring. However, he's the angry and bitter version of that. He's the... not even bitter. I would say he's the cantankerous version of that. That's a word I I was thinking after yeah His he is frustration personified all too often

But when he's offered a fix he will reject it time and time again Yeah, well because it doesn't it doesn't mean anything unless you've earned it exactly He doesn't want success as a trapping he wants success on his own terms because he's earned it in his mind. He's also supremely confident in his own value and his abilities, so there's no insecurity to crack through there. And he said in his pipe bomb speech, quote, I'll go be the best in the world somewhere else. All right. Now, you could neatly divide the people on this list into two types.

Those who, for some reason, wouldn't give a shit about the ring, and those who would refuse the ring. Yeah. I don't think anyone can use the ring and not be corrupted by it, but I do think that everyone on this list would not use it,

even if they were to come into possession of it All right, that's fair and there are two people I would submit for honorable mention honorable mention as Not not being people who would be corrupted by the precious and that would be Jennifer Hudson and Helen Mirren Precious and that would be Jennifer Hudson and Helen Mirren. Both of whom turned down roles in the movie. Precious.

Yeah. I knew it was coming. Knew it. Knew it. Oddly enough. Oddly enough. I'm a lot less angry about it this time because there's there's at least one hop sure that had to be made sure that wasn't just somebody's man to land it wasn't just yeah well it's last name's worthy like yeah you're still mad about that I yeah and I will be for a while yeah I. I, oh my, cause it's beneath you. It's not. Only, only.

It's the long con. It's not. Yeah. Yeah. That's, and that's the part that makes me hate you. Oh, okay. It's like, I want it to be beneath you. No, in fact, it's so low rent that it becomes art like it circles all the way back around

for me. No, no, no. Like, there's, you know, throughout this episode and our previous episode, it's mostly been well, you know, I'm going to quibble with you on that. I don't know about that. No, I totally agree. Totally agree. 10 out of 10. You know no on this though. No, you're fucking wrong It does not do that. It did

So there's one other person that I do think okay that is alive today who would not be corrupted by it Yeah, and he was part of a quartet. So it fits thematically Richard Starkey Okay Okay, hold on. I fits thematically, Richard Starkey. Okay. Okay. Hold on. I know I've heard the name, but right now I'm blanking on it. Part of a quartet?

Quartet. I'm... Sorry. Hold on. I'm... Richard, you said? Richard Starkey yeah I'm gonna hate this when I find this out mm-hmm the look on your face tells me mm-hmm oh Ringo Starr Who's the thing though? I'm not wrong. You're not wrong like like if it was just a shitty pun, right? I'd be furious, but it's it's

Yeah, and and again and again. It's not as bad sure as worthy Sure, as you at least put in the effort of using his you know given name is given name And and the thing is yet. I don't yeah Ringo Again, just wouldn't give a shit like yeah, he really wouldn't you know every every interview I've ever heard him give about Really anything but but the one that one that most resonates right now is while Paul and John Were in you know one part of the recording room, having it out over whatever.

He was at the back of the room on a modified drumming stool, just hanging out like, whenever you're ready, I'm here. I'm good. Whatever you want, let's do it. Whatever you want to do, let's do this. Also, you know, genuinely considered one of the greatest drummers in rock and roll history, not just because he was part of the Beatles, but because like, that shit he did.

Oh, his skill is undeniable. And if you look at the things he did that made those songs work so well, was he scaled back on all the things that made him great and just focused on the simplicity of holding it all together as a rhythm section. Like he really, I mean, there's so much more other drummers would have done to feature themselves and he's like, no, this song requires that I just do this. And just the restraint that that showed, again, the lack of ego, the ambition Mm-hmm all those things absolutely make him the Samwise of the group. Oh

Yeah, yeah a hundred percent. No, and by the way, George would have been Frodo and John and Paul would have been Mary and Pippin Yeah, yeah Yeah, 110 percent. Yeah, but yeah, so there my list. That's it's kind of a short episode. Yeah No, it works short bits of joy. So yeah, I like it glimmers. Yeah So What are you recommending to people this week? I am going to recommend, and now I need to find it again.

Hold on. I recommend The Tow of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff, published in 1982. Okay. After you spoke about Piglet and Wu Wei and all of that, I'm pretty sure, it sounded to me like you've read this. I have. Actually, I was pulling from the Tei of Piglet, actually. Which is the next book.

Which is 15 years later, he came up with another one. Yeah, but the Tao of Pu is a wonderful primer on Taoism That actually like holds up if you if you actually go into academic You know comparative philosophy kind of books and read about Taoism Tao of Pu holds up real well. Yeah You utilizing the characters from the hundred acre wood It's a it's a wonderful read and a great very introductory window into Eastern philosophy, so Strongly recommend that how about you? I'm actually gonna recommend that people go and watch a hard day's night by the Beatles It is currently let's see, where is it streaming?

But watch A Hard Day's Night, it was in 1964, it's in black and white, but it has such wonderful wit in it and it just, there's not much of a story to it but it's very, very witty. It's actually it's on Max streaming so if you have access to that there you go and It's it's basically shot over. It's supposed to encompass like two days of Beatles and It's just hilarious. It really is and And it features Ringo in a lot of ways, but it's a much shorter movie than anything that would have the one ring in it. And it's much sillier.

So go watch The Hard Day's Night. So you remain a shadow in the warp, but where can they find us? We collectively can be found as always at our website at wubba wubba wubba dot geek history time com we can also be found of course on the Apple podcast app on Stitcher and on the Amazon podcast app wherever it is that you have found us since you're listening to us right now please take a moment to hit the subscribe button and give us the five star review that you know we deserve. And where can

you be found sir? Well you can't find me on Stitcher you can find us on Spotify but... Oh shit. It's alright. Spotify. But you you could find me and my crew at Capital Punishment that is Justine Lopez and Mark Berg as well as what four guests we bring with us that month at the Comedy Spot in Sacramento at 9 p.m. the first Friday of every month. So for you that looks like September 6th, October 4th, November 1st and December 6th. Go to the Comedy Spot's website, buy your tickets in advance so that you can avoid the disappointment of hearing that it's sold out at the door. But come, bring your friends,

and be ready to shout out ideas. Support the person who wins the tournament and takes on the bosses. Maybe you'll see history happen and somebody will beat the bosses. That'll be cool. But yeah, that's the Comedy Spot at 9 p.m. on the first Friday of every month capital punishment

So nice. Yeah. Well, thank you for joining me on this I really do appreciate the you coming there and back with me on it So for a geek history of time, I'm Damian Harmony and I'm Ed Blaylock and until next time keep rolling 20s