A Geek History of Time - Episode 289 - Draft An Avengers Team

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Okay, so there are two possibilities going on here. One, you're bringing up a term that I have never heard before. The other possibility is that this is a term I've heard before, but it involves a language that uses pronunciation That's different from Latin it and so you have no idea how to say it properly. It's an intensely 80s post-apocalyptic Schlock film. Oh and schlong film. You know, it's been over 20 years, but spoilers Okay, so so the resident Catholic thinking about that. We're going for low Earth orbit. There is no rational. Blame it on me after.

And you know I will. They mean it is two o'clock in the fucking morning. Where I am. I don't think you can get very much more homosexual panic than that. No. Which I don't know if that's better. I mean, you guys are Catholics. You tell me. I'm just kind of excited that like you and producer George will have something to talk about

That basically just means that I can show up and get fed I'm going to go to the bathroom. This is a Geek History of Time. Where we connect nursery to the real world. My name is Ed Blaylock. I'm a world history teacher here in Northern California. And just a couple of days ago, I finally bit the bullet and did it. I completed Legend of Zelda Tears of the Kingdom. I went through and I defeated Ganondorf. I am only about two years behind, like, you know, the, the first people who, you know, played the game through at its release and, and did it.

Um, and anybody who tries to argue to me that games that video games are not art. Um, I am, I am going to cry with frustration and punch them in the face because the ending of that game made me emotional and I am damn near 50 years old. So yeah, there is always a little bit of sadness, like when you're finishing a really good book or like watching the last part of a series of movies where you know they're not going to make any more of them. There's always that kind of experience

when you finish a video game, but this one hit me even harder. So yeah, that's what I've had going on that's been emotionally meaningful to me. How about you? Well, I'm Damian Harmony. I am a US history teacher up here in Northern California. I don't like the bar that you've set

that it has to be in any way significant to me, but here we go. I took my eldest, I took my son to go, so this will date the show, obviously, for all of you Fomers and Pharaoh equinologists out there. But I took my son to go see Big Boy, Which is the biggest train ever made in America? fucking locomotive Yeah, well, I think it's the largest steam train. Yeah, sure sounds good. Yeah, okay

Remember I go because he loves it not the other way around yeah I go because he loves it, not the other way around. Yeah. But I know it was built in 1941, which sounds to me like it plus 20 of its colleagues were made because we knew there was a war coming. But we got to see it, it was cool. And he got lots of pictures in front of it and really enjoyed himself a lot.

I found, I think I've sent this to you, and if not, I'll send it, what do you call it, off air. I found an accidental funny joke on the bottom of one of the passenger cars. Apparently, there is a pad that goes under it where you can like establish like a lifting mechanism underneath, commonly referred to as a jack. Okay yeah. And it says jacking pad which tickled me. Yeah obviously you had to.

So I took a picture of that and my son was like what was that? I'm like I'll check it out like they have something for the that and he, my son was like, what was that? I'm like, I'll check it out. Like they have something for the employees and he didn't get it because. Because yeah. I feel like, God damn it. Okay. This is what masturbation is. Here's, here's another word for it. Here you go.

Yeah. Yeah. And he, and his response was, Oh, they should have loaded that thing down with graham crackers then. Nice. Cause recently he started eating more graham crackers lately. I'm like, oh dude, you could just go upstairs and play with yourself. That's fine.

And he's like, what? I'm like, oh, graham crackers were made to make you not want to touch yourself. Is it working? So now I just tease the shit out of him about that. And so when I showed him a picture of the jacking pad, he's like, oh, why didn't they just put a bunch of graham crackers there? Nice. Yeah. See, see you have you have sown the seeds of your own undoing.

I you know, I spilled the seeds of my own undoing years ago. So this is true. I should not have realized that was going to be where that one went before I said that. But as you said the other day you just make it so easy really do all right so tonight yes an idea yeah yeah we're gonna draft our own Avengers team because I I've been reading comic books for a long time okay I recently read the MCU book which was really cool and I noticed that they decided on six Avengers which to me always felt Like a bit too much But I didn't disagree with any of the characters they put into it like it all fit with the theme of the Avengers when they First did it okay um and then I go back and I read you know all that

Normally the Avengers typically in the comics had five members not six Right okay in the comics had five members, not six. Right. Okay. So I say this, we're going to draft an Avengers team. And by draft, I mean, if I pick one, you can't pick that guy. Or if you pick one, I can't pick that gal.

Okay. And I think I've got four different versions just for funsies. First group need to all have been former Avengers. Okay, second group need to have never been Avengers Okay, who should have been called up to the show but weren't but never were all right third group must be fiction But they cannot be from Marvel or DC Okay, I'm gonna say they can't be from any other like superhero comic either so don't be like oh spawn

Okay, yeah, yeah 10-4 and and really yeah and Constantine. You know it's just like yeah See ha ha Put someone else on that list now. Yeah, and the fourth group must all be real humans Okay, so all right. I'm gonna hit pause here so that you can martial your resources and see what you can do to gather together a team. So hang on one second. Okay. And here we go. Alright. Alright. So now where are we starting? Are we starting with former Avengers? Former members, yes. Former members, alright, 10-4. Alright. Anybody who has been an Avenger and that includes

Reserve Avengers, I think that's fine. Okay. All right Let's see. It's a you won the coin toss. So you go to start 10-4 I'm I'm gonna start with one that isn't Necessary it's like it's not the one you're probably assuming. I'm immediately gonna go for okay. I'm gonna go for she Hulk You're right. You're right. That was not my first pick Because I think number one

Represent representation matters. Okay number two I think there is an awful lot Just as a character and that she that she could bring to the team dynamic with not just her powers, which are Hulk, obviously, but her knowledge, her personality, and just the way she would elevate the banter. Also, she is the only other person in the Marvel Universe who canonically understands the existence of the fourth wall. And I-

Helpfully useful. I wanna see that. I wanna see that as part of that dynamic. So I'm gonna go with She-Hulk. Okay, okay. I'm right out the gate. I'm gonna draft cap Steve Rogers cap. I yeah see I knew if you didn't grab him. I'm fucking getting him. Yeah Obviously, yeah. Yeah the definition of iconic and like you has to be an Avenger. Yeah. Yeah. Well, not only that but like

The one who will understand literally any other member on the team and what they can bring and how best to deploy them. So oh yeah, as a, as a tactician and a leader. Definitely, definitely for sure. All right. So that's my number one. Who's your number two? So, so far you've got jurisdiction, which is excellent.

I've got leadership. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I next one I'm going to go for, man, I've got leadership. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I Next one I'm gonna go for Man, I'm looking at my list. I don't This one is probably much more Predictable from okay, but my next one I'm gonna go with Wolverine. Oh, okay. Okay Get the mutant representation involved sure yeah and

He has fought with literally everybody in the Marvel Universe, it's true So yeah, no, that's that's good intelligence to have yeah And just his bloody mindedness Like he's not he's not true the leader type, he's not the thinky type, he is cunning and he's willing to fight dirty, so he's not stupid. Right, right. Okay. But, yeah, I would throw him on there.

Okay. My next guy is, and it's gonna be a guy, it's gonna be Nova, the rich rider Nova. He, he was on the team on the secret Avengers in 2010. So he counts. Oh, okay. So secret Avengers counts. Yep. Yep. It's in the name. Um, well see, I didn't, yeah, great legs, realize dark even. Um, I have forgotten. Okay. Yeah. So I, I want a flyer, right? So so far I, I, you need at least one flyer and I need somebody who can blast from a distance Can only throw that shield so far the range. Yeah Also, he also has tremendous leadership capability Yeah, as we saw in the annihilation wave and on top of that

He's got humility like he and Cap both have humility. Confidence, but humility. So. Yeah, see, I had him on my list for never been Avengers because I forgot about, because you know, secret Avengers. Yeah, yeah. Secret. I was not well versed enough. But I mentioned that he's a reboot of Spidey

without the self-flagellating angst that Speedball carried. Yeah. All, and, and being an established relatively well rounded hero. So yeah, I fully agree. I like that. I like the choice. Who's your third of the terrestrial Avengers? Oh, let's see. So I'm going, this is tough now cause I'm getting, I'm getting down to a couple here. I think I'm going this is tough now because I'm getting getting down to a couple here. I Think I'm going to throw

I'm gonna I'm gonna put Spidey on oh good good choice always a good choice. I mean right now you have kind of Started recreating the secret avengers a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's a great choice Yeah, do you need to speak to anything of his or just like it's fucking spider-man. It's a it's a it's well I mean, I mean I could just say it's fucking spider-man, but yeah, I will I will go a little beyond that Okay, um he is one of the most powerful characters in the canon.

The super strength and incredible agility. I mean, he is, so you've got mobility and you've got not bruiserness, but you do have strength. Yes. Yeah. And so the mobility, the strength, the flexibility because he has to regularly want up in situations where he even as powerful as he is, because of the nature of his power set, he winds up having to think on the fly

and think creatively it's true And and I think that's that's important also just strictly on a character level uh-huh watching him interact with cap and Wolverine and And she Hulk oh yeah, be a hoot just the personality combinations. I think like yeah All right, I love it. I I think you You have definitely pulled within striking distance of my team with Spidey being on there Especially the interactions between him and Wolvey also she Hulk can can throw Wolverine for a fastball special she has

She's even have you seen that picture where she's holding him? Yeah. Yeah. All right Um, I am going to go with let me see who She's even, have you seen that picture where she's holding him? Yeah. Yeah. All right. I am going to go with, let me see, who, who do I want to? And I think this is our, this is our fifth one. No, no. No, no, no, no. We're each drafting our teams. Oh, okay. All right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on, hold on, hold on. So we're not constructing a team together. We're. 10-4. Yeah. All right. Let's see.

I'm gonna go with And four. All right, let's see. I'm gonna go with Monica Rambeau, Cap Marvel. Okay, deep cut, I like it, okay. Yeah, she actually was leader on the team at one point when Cap stepped away and it's good to have a second leader.

Okay, yeah, totally agree. And one who knows when to fall back when to step forward Also, she's intangible when she wants to be and she is literally the speed of light. So now I've got speed locked in I've got light locked in um energy projection Intangibility like she's she's very versatile and she's also Yeah, pick three people with military experience I didn't realize that but yeah it's true but there you go so

Monica Rambeau all right all right who's your fourth pick fourth pick now let's see I'm having it I'm having to think real hard here I think my fourth pick I'm having to think real hard here. I think my fourth pick I'm gonna go with Johnny Storm ice Because with him I get flight. Yeah, and I don't have a flyer yet. That's true Spidey Spidey is very mobile but flight is not in his repertoire, right? So Johnny gives me a flyer Johnny gives me a glib locked in on your team. Oh, I do I really yeah You can definitely tell that like go team glib. You know go team go team smart ass definitely like and

Is his You know and also ranged abilities, you know fire So he's he's kind of gonna be my Nova on this team and yeah and I because of a couple of my other choices I'm I'm I'm a little sad that tactically I'm having to go with him and I'll explain why in a minute but I think also I would really like to see him just irritating the ever-loving Daylight Santa Logan Yeah, just the team does seem to be centered around off hours bugging the old man a little bit. Yeah

All right my fourth pick Amadeus Cho the seventh smartest man in the Marvel Universe Yeah, I'm a deus Cho the seventh smartest man in the Marvel Universe Okay, he ends up turning into a version of the Hulk I'm drafting him as I'm a deus Cho not as a Hulk. Um Okay, every Avengers team needs a genius I think And having the sixth or seventh smartest guy, you know, he doesn't have a history of beating his wife

So he's a plus. Hank Pym. Um, he's not Richard's. So that's a leg up on being Richard's. What Dr. Cruz had to say about, you know, it's, it's a really good moral guide. Uh, when you're in the Marvel universe, look at, okay, where is beast? Yeah. Okay.

I'm over here. Right. Reed Richards pretty much is also. Yeah, no, he's the human version of the beast? Yeah. Okay. I'm over here. Reed Richards pretty much is also. Yeah, no, he's the human version of the beast. Yeah. The human human version of that. Like, Oh, okay. Reed Richards has taken up his stance over there. I'm going to be on this side of the line with all the people who are not like detached sociopaths.

All the people whose majors required a humanities course. Yes. Yes. I fully agree. So I got Amadeus Cho. Who's your fifth? Okay. My fifth, um, is going to be Sue Storm. Okay. You going family. All right. Well, I am number one. Um, and she's, uh, powerful as fuck too. Yeah. And she's hella smart. you have a genius on your time. I now have a genius on my time Now the thing is what what disappoints me is I can only pick five right? Because if I could pick six do you want to guess who my sixth would be? Oh the

Ampetunia's ever-loving thing Good choice, but no. No? Namor. Oh. That would've been fun. In my notes, Sue Storm, especially if Namor gets back on, just to rankle Reed. Sure. Yeah, yeah.

I like that. I like that. But yeah. Okay. Yeah, she's a genius. She's telekinetic, obviously. Invisible woman. So she can handle, you you know the stealth stuff. Yeah

So yeah, there you go. Okay, my fifth choice my final choice is Going to have to be Luke Cage All right, come on. I need somebody who understands the common man Okay, need somebody who remembers what it's like to not have all the privileges of being an Avenger. Kind of has the same grounding that Spidey has, quite honestly. And a lot of ways. My team is bereft of a bruiser. I mean, Nova does have super strength, but kind of to the same level as Spidey does. So I needed somebody who could duke it out with She-Hulk and at least stall her.

Yeah, no, I like that. I approve with that, yeah. All right, so I'm gonna ask now, I'd like you to analyze the weaknesses of your team. I will just boil, like the biggest weakness of your team is X. I'll go first since that was my mandate. My team does not have any mutants. And that is going to be deeply problematic anytime there is something going on in Genosha. So that is a deep weakness. The public relations department is kind of fine, except that they're bereft of mutants. Like there is no bridge to understanding an entire community there.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What about yours? Mine really doesn't have a designated commander. You're right. Um, I mean, I feel like the dynamic is going to wind up being that Wolverine being the personality he is in just being the guy that has all the experience. I think he'd be the field commander, but I think strategically, yeah, but strategically Sue storm.

Yeah, I think you're right. Um, but I think they're not being a clear, like, no, no, that's, that's the person, right? You know, it is, is going to be, could be potentially an issue. Also, public relations wise, I'm kind of all over the map because like she Hulk and Johnny storm, obviously, are going to be able to get out in front of the public and be like, Hey, how you doing? Wolverine really not good at that. He doesn't need to be though. And that's one of the reasons you don't want him as the leader. That's true. That's a good point. Yeah. So, but I think, I think, um, not, not having the,

the charismatic genuine leader figure. Sure. Sure. In the, in the group is gonna is gonna lead to A dynamic gonna disband after about 12 issues Yeah, it's not it's they're not gonna they're not gonna hold together very long because they don't they don't have somebody who's clearly the Heart of the team like like peter is is gonna be the come on guys. We can do it You know, he's the conscience of the team. He's not yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right That's one of the reasons I wanted luke cage on on my team was because I needed a conscience on the team. Like I needed somebody, oh cool you're handling all these galactic threats. You know what there's fucking people drowning in the sewers right now because of the way we're handling it so we're not doing that now. Yeah we need to focus on some other things here. Yeah. Alright if these two teams had to fight each other, who would you say would win? It'd be it'd be a knockdown drag out I think in the end

I think your team would carry the trophy. Yeah, I think you're right. I think I think your your team would would because I think i've got you matched one for one and and I'm ahead of you on some of them yeah yeah yeah so I think I think that's gonna be a thing right so okay so now let's do the team of never members you got the first pick last time I'll get the first pick this time okay my first pick of the never members is going to be nightcrawler. Oh That's a good one. I like that. Yeah, so He's gonna be my first pick partly because he knows what it is to be Demonized

He knows he knows what it's to be to be trod on also. He is the moral center. He's a moral compass He's been on a lot of groups. So he knows how to work with a group. And he has actually been a leader. He has stepped up to be a leader from time to time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll agree. Yeah, that's a great one.

I like that a lot. I've got mobility down. Like, so I'm right there. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's yours? All right, Where to start? Um, I'm gonna start interestingly enough with another mutant. I'm gonna go with Colossus. Oh, okay and also for kind of similar reasons he is gonna be the

heart and the conscience of the group he is he is a You know your alien. I don't know what what part of Russia he's from the year. He's a yeah He's a he's a Russian Boy Scout right? and Also, he is the tank and the bruiser so he kind of manages to fulfill several roles kind of at once that's true yeah and and so I think he's a very strong very strong choice okay so I'm going with Colossus to start all right my next choice is going to be box the Canadian okay self was disabled actually and created his armor to get around his paraplegia

Another thing my team was well my team wasn't lacking on the last one because I'm a day's Cho is a genius He could design shit, but this guy is the full-on tech guy So yeah, okay, you know a team needs a tech guy. Yeah So I'm gonna go with box that also gives my team some strength now I wouldn't call it super strength or bruiser strength but You know, I it's still it's more than just you know, we're a team of daredevil Thank where okay, you know, you better hope that you taped up your fist that day, you know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah

Yeah, I'm gonna go with box. Okay Yeah, also by the way now I've gotten an international team cuz I've got a German and a Canadian Okay, that works. Yeah, that works Who's your next? My next one is gonna be Heimdall. Oh nice Number one we we know have s guardian representation, which next one is going to be Heimdall. Oh, nice. Uh, number one, we, we now have as guardian representation, which I think is crucial. I agree.

Yeah. Um, also, um, Idris Elba, uh, just just made the character. So, so powerful and magnetic. Um, and he, the, the character, I mean, he got a lot more time in the movies than we really get of him in the comics. Right. So, you know, I'm, I'm having to kind of hedge my, my description on that, but the way he worked to lead the Asgardian refugees in the Thor films, or kind of the Asgardian resistance, and just his loyalty and his dedication, and just the fact that he is a named Asgardian in his power level as such. Yeah. I think is an asset in his knowledge of larger, you know, beyond Earth galactic level kind

of threats. Mm-hmm. I like it. I like it a lot. Yeah, I think your team is very much outpowering mine at this moment. Yeah. And just as a note, the way I originally wrote the idea down was any named as guardian, but I went with Heimdall It's a little less second. It was like, you know could be safe could be one of the Warriors three

But I was like now it's gotta be Heimdall. Right? Yeah, right. So, okay, by the way box is roughly as strong as She-Hulk. So I was wrong. Okay. The first iteration of him, he was a little bit weaker than Spidey, or right around Spidey's strength. And then after he designed his second armor,

he was, yeah, he was able to lift more than She-Hulk can., I guess I do have a strong guy. All right. Yeah, so my next one Let's see looking at these I need I Need Banshee on my team Okay, I need a flyer and I need Banshee on my team. Oh, okay. I need a flyer. And I need someone who can hit enemies in a way that, you know, stuff, they can't guard against necessarily. If you vibrate their bowels,

they're gonna shit themselves, you know? If you, you can, you can counter spell hypnotism by screaming and he can fly. So and yeah, I haven't picked a single American yet. So, yeah, Banshee. Nice. Well, technically, I haven't picked you have not either. That's true. So

I'm going to I'm going to break that streak, though, because I'm going to go with Phil Colson. Oh wow Son of coal all right. Yeah, because he's Nick Nick Fury's right-hand man, right? and What we see him do over and over and over and over again is React first of all react with utter unflappability, like the coolness under pressure of this man. Yep. And the, oh, okay.

You've decided you're going to do that. Okay. Well, we're going to we're going to zig. Right. Yeah. Yeah. The the he I he's not in a position to be the leader. No. This team he has been one. Yeah, but he's been in a position to be the leader on this team. He has been one Yeah, but he's been a leader of mundane people. Yeah, that's that's kind of what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah, he's he's in at this at this power level He's he's going to fill the Clint Barton

Kind of role. Okay, yeah being As being, as being the super normal, the voice of, um, Hey, uh, uh, Yoder, I need you, I need you to pause for a second and consider some things that you're not considering because you can turn into a solid block of, you know, right. Yeah. That plan won't work for the rest of us. Um, and him being able to do it in a way that is, um, that works, if that makes sense. Yeah, no, that absolutely does.

So yeah. Um, his, his superpower is always having a backup plan. Okay. We're going to plan Z. Right. You know, what happens if plan Z doesn't work That's why we have plan Z double right Z ought one. Yeah, so that one What is planned said on one? I don't know. I'll figure it out when we get there There's there's plenty of time between T and Z. Yeah Okay, you know, so yeah, okay, um um I'm gonna go with black bolt for my fourth choice Oh one of the inhumans I like it. Yeah now first off now I've got two guys with sonic powers, which there's a bit of overlap there, and he's a flyer

I probably should have picked better, but um Now I can go in space. He's also hella strong and You know he took a beating from the Hulk and didn't turn into pudding. A shade slighter than that. Yeah, I mean he got rocked. But he was at some point able to walk again later. So yeah.

Now I will also say he is not gonna be the leader of my team because he's too nationalistic. He's on hiatus from the from the from the other side of the moon largely to learn the humility of what it is to follow someone. So. Okay. Yeah. He's a good soldier though. Yeah. So I got black bolt and I think that just made my team very very fucking powerful So yeah did yeah that really did that's that's like my Thor like that's my I'm doll. Yeah Yeah, I am. I'm well your your your Thor pastes my Thor Yeah, I mean, you know, I like I'm doll but yeah black bolt that's scary. He's fallen. Yeah. All right. Who's your fourth?

Now here's the deal I Am not as well versed in who has been and who has not been an Avenger as you are so this one might get Disqualified two of my possible names have already been crossed out But I'm pretty sure Wade Wilson has never officially been a member of an Avengers team yet Let's see was he ever What I was what I was able because I was pretty sure he hadn't been and I looked it up and what I saw was You know, he's he's begged and wheedled and cajoled, but he's never he's never been officially made part of the team. Mm-hmm Yeah, I think he was a hanger on and cajoled, but he's never been officially made part of the team. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think he was a hanger-on. Yeah. Oh, actually, I'm seeing some sources saying that he was, and I've even seen a picture of him holding... Well, that's... He could have faked that. Hang on a second. I'm gonna look up the word Avenger here. That's he could have he could have faked that. Hang on a second. Look up the word Avenger here.

Avengers Unity Division. He helps the Avengers. Let's see. He helps them. The Avengers Unity Division again. Let's let's see what the Avengers Unity Division division was because that one I don't know about. Okay, so this was in 2012, this was the post AVX stuff. All right.

And essentially Cap redos the Avengers in a way that unites with... Native and kind? Yeah, essentially. And they basically formed up to fight Thor and Red Skull. Just Thor was under Red Skull's thrall. Right, right, right. So I would say that was an ad hoc team that was not an official. We have revisited the charter and have bylaws. Yeah, yeah.

So I would say that they, very similar to what we saw when Thanos kind of created a moon and fought all of the heroes. Right, right. It was that kind of ad hoc thing. So yeah, I think that counts. So Deadpool. So yeah, now that we have established the Bonifides there. So he is nigh unkillable.

Yeah, I was going to say. And again, the banter like, you know, we've already seen him literally bounce off of Colossus several times now in the, in the movies. And you know, God help me, I can't hear him in any voice other than Ryan Reynolds is any more. And I think, yeah, it's just,, yeah, it's too much fun not to put him there. And as a reader, this isn't about power level or anything, just as a reader, I'd wanna have him on the team

just to kind of lighten things up. Yeah, I'm noticing a theme here. You want somebody to break the fourth wall. You want somebody who's a wise ass. Yes. And you want somebody who's hard to kill. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I would love, okay, so with your team,

I would love to see Deadpool interacting with Coulson the most. I would, I would. That. Oh my God. Nevermind fucking with Colossus. Yeah. Take my money now. Yeah. Like, you know, cause what I would love to see is Wade

doing everything in his power to try to get under Colson's skin, just just and Colson being smart enough and having a high enough wisdom score to just be like, oh, I don't I know what you're doing and I'm not gonna let you do it Yeah, yeah And then privately like when wait isn't around just being like, oh my god that guy Pouring himself like an extra shot. Yeah, it's what do you have in there? Oh Wade Wilson shut up That's straight ever clear. I know. Yeah.

All right. My fifth pick. Oh, God, I am stuck here between three very good choices. But based on the team that I have constructed. I'm going to go. With speedball.

I saw that coming. Yeah, well, it was either him or Drax the Destroyer. Okay. But I've already got enough cosmic people. I wanted somebody who's blood-lusty, but... Honestly, Speedball. He's... I've got a wise ass. I've got, this is a very mobile team, and this team is a very hot and cold team. There are movers, and then there are tremblers.

So like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Speedball's fantastic. His, first off, very hard to kill. Yeah. I mean, unless you hit him, very hard to kill with anything kinetic. Yeah. Bullets, knives. hard to kill with anything kinetic. Yeah bullets knives Energy weapons, right? Yeah. Um, well, I mean you've got to hit him with energy weapons, right?

Well, even that that that bounce now. Yeah, good point No, you you have to suffocate him or hit him with gas or hit him with psychic attacks oh, wow, very susceptible to those but Cuz he's fucking idiot um, but uh But yeah speedball, uh, he's never been on the team Uh, he deserves a shot. He has had an entire redemption arc and he's come back to kind of a defiant joy Um, and my team is lacking a heartthrob and I think he's the one

Okay, so and your final? I am I'm coming down to two different characters just like you were and I think the one I'm going to go with is I'm gonna put a second or a third actually I'm really I'm mutant heavy this time I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with third mutant and I'm gonna put a second or a third, actually. I'm really, I'm mutant heavy this time. I'm gonna go with a third mutant and I'm gonna put Psylocke on the team. Oh, nice. And. And you're also very ninja heavy.

Like, I mean, if you look at the abilities that you've got here. Yeah. Yeah, you've either got guns or swords. That's true. Yeah. But, okay, Psylocke. But yeah, Psylocke. You need a woman. Oh shit, my team's all dudes. got guns or swords that's true yeah but it's true okay silo but yeah silo need a woman yeah oh shit my team's all dudes yeah number one to have to have a feminine presence number two funny that you mentioned you know speedballs you know primary one of his primary weaknesses being psychic attacks I was

like you know what I need a psychic yeah um because my my other option was gonna be a space knight rom who is Wow technically a Marvel character yes he is totally very but a very very deep cut yeah um and if I had chosen him I'd be kind of cosmic heavy between having him and Heimdall and the same team it It'd be a little bit alien, a little bit weird. And so instead I'm choosing to go mutant heavy and ninja heavy. But the, again, you know, psychic powers open up opportunities for a Tactical flexibility being able to find solutions that don't necessarily mean we've got a you know run in and beat everybody up, right, right So I like yeah. Okay. So weaknesses of my team

There's no women I mean that's that is a huge weakness right there. And they're all mostly, I mean, with the exception of Speedball, they're all fairly sexless. Like they are and they aren't. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I get what you mean. But I've got a team of all dudes and... Kind of all neuter dudes. Yeah. Yeah

And speedballs just not an effective heartthrob Yeah, yeah, I and there's not enough Bruiser strength on my team. Okay, so I think I think they will on my team. Okay. So I think they will find themselves captured by those more powerful sometimes. Okay. But also, here's the thing, almost everybody on my team are gonna be really good at escaping. That is true. So that is a good point. They're very much an act two team, not an act one team. Yeah, I like that. I like that. Yeah, all right. What about your team's weakness um I'm very very high low

Yeah, I've got I've got a couple. I got a couple that are like no no I am I am a you know grade I'm a god. Yeah, you know Demi-God. You know figure and then I've got Three that are like against ordinary mooks. We're going to mow you down. Yeah. We'll take out Hydra. Yeah. Hydra is doomed. Like we're going to, we're going to screw Hydra over. But if you bring a Galactus level threat, if you bring, or even a new mutants level threat, like it's going to be harder. Yeah. Higher,

higher end of mid range is, is going to give us a lot of trouble. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. You know, because you know, the in, in, uh, aerial, aerial strategy, uh, when you're talking about, you know, your strategy for building an air force or designing strategic plans know, strategic plans, you talk about a high low combo, right? Which is not necessarily high altitude, low altitude, though. That's one application. It's the what is your, you know, Cadillac premier aircraft and then what is your lower end? You have more of these

kind of option. Right, right. And like you want to have a high low strategy, but you don't want to be too extreme. Sure. And I think I have managed to have like F-22s and sop with camels in my in my power level. And that's going to be that's going to be a problem.

Yeah. So I think I think that's my biggest weakness. I also would point out a weakness of yours since you talked about airplanes. None of your guys can fly. This is true. That is a problem. Yeah. They're gonna be they're gonna be relying on on shield tech. Yeah. Or Avengers, whatever Stark decides to give them. Yeah. Yeah. They're gonna need to be subsidized. I'm going to say that my team would beat yours. Um,

I don't know where you stand on that, but. Well, all right. Yeah. I, the flight capability is a big deal. It really is. Especially when I have two of them. Yeah. And the fact that you went with like, you opened out the gate with black bolt. Like, yeah, like, you know, the moment he opens his mouth and says Good morning, right all dead. Yeah, you know The only the only member of the team who's not gonna be a puddle is colossus

Mm-hmm, and he's gonna have permanent tinnitus and and you know dented organic steel itis. Yeah, yeah well But like you know he, he's going to be looking at himself going, I don't know if this will buff out, you know, like. I can't see Colossus actually beating Speedball or Nightcrawler.

Just because I never catch that is, I think he knows Nightcrawler's tactics well enough, he might be able to get a hit in. Yeah, and if he does, that's the end of the fight. Yeah, but he's just not, he's not physically fast enough. No, he's not.

And he's, oh yeah, no, Speedball is gonna be all over him because he's a physical loser. Well, Speedball will be all over. Yeah. Ball is going to be all over him because he's a physical loser. Um, because, yeah, cause Clauses, he'll, he'll get a 35 hour reprieve from Speedball with one punch cause he's going to have to bounce all the way back from New Finland. Yeah. But, but I just, I, I, I, I see him getting his ass knocked out,

honestly, Banshee hit the right frequency. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh, yeah, I think I've got you beat. I think, I think. I think, I think you do. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Definitely. So let's go with the third group. We're moving right along. Third group is Other Fiction, not Marvel or DC. Okay. And I picked first last time. So you pick first this time. I'm going to start with Luke Skywalker from the Star Wars Expanded Universe. Coming out hot.

Yeah. All right. So so a weird combination. You're going with a cyborg. Well, yeah. I mean, he's he's a he's a multiple threat he's a cyborg and part wizard and part psychic mm-hmm so you know depending on how you want to describe how the force works yep and so yeah I'm starting with him I think he would and since we're talking about expanded universe, Luke Skywalker,

would be clear on that. He has developed along the road of his hero's journey far enough that he is in a place to become maybe not the leader of the group, but he is going to be a, uh, a voice of reason. He's going to be, you know, the, the member of the team that everybody can come to and talk to. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and yeah. So, and also, you know, get him, get him within lightsaber distance or I should say, get him within a force reach and I pull you into lightsaber distance. Yeah. Of anybody and like, yeah. So. I'm going to go with Willow Rosenberg. Nice. Yeah, I need magic. Nice choice. Yeah. She's a witch. I like it. I like it a lot.

We only saw her scratching the surface. She's just going to get more powerful. So yeah, I'm and enough said there. Yeah, I don't think you need to go into any more detail. Yeah. All right, who's your second choice? My second. I'm going to put out as number two. I'm going to put out as number two talent from to gun which by a friend of the show, Bishop Hockam.

OK, since you went with a magician, I'm going with a magician. The difference is my magician's magician has guns. Yes. Um, and the flexibility of being able to decide what kinds of spells she's going to throw through her spell irons, uh, the flexibility of that, um, and you know, not having to chant Latin to get a spell off.

And you know not having to chant Latin to get a spell off Bear you know bear she's literally a quick draw gunfighter, so You know My wizard shoots your wizard and yes, you know I think your wizard your wizard has the potential to become kind of a darkling semi deity, so I don't know Mine is much more of a non-combat wizard. Yeah, that's true. They set up the team in Buffam. Yeah, that's true.

Or set up the field. Alright, my number two is gonna be Neo. Oh, that's your Luke Skywalker. Yeah, you want guns, you want paladins, you want guys on heroes' journeys, I gotcha. Also, he's a flyer. Shit. Yep. Nice. Thank you. I like it. And I don't know if you know this, he knows Kung Fu.

Yeah, that he does. It's true. Don't try to hit me. Hit me. Right. Yeah. So yeah, going with Neo. Okay. I like me hit me right. Yeah, so yeah going with neo Okay, I like it. All right, who's your third? I'm gonna wind up in the same kind of situation. I wound up in with my last team My next one I'm Who do I want to talk about next? I'm gonna go with a link Oh legend of Zelda sure and I'm going with him for a reason that you might not immediately think of,

which is he's my team's iron man. Okay. He's he's the gadget guy. Okay. Yeah. In, in the last two games they've, they've changed this up and had him have, you know, the ability to manipulate objects in the universe around him, but for forever, in the, in the history of the game, it has been each, each dungeon you beat, you get a special item, you know, and that special item allows you to do this trick. Like the boomerang allows you to pick stuff up from a distance and bring it back

by hitting it with a boomerang and bringing it back. Okay. Yeah. The chain shot. Yeah. The chain shot allows you to, uh, you know, swing from point to point, you know, it's not quite flight, but it's like Spider-Man web slinging, right? You know, um, and that those kinds of tools you pick up over the course of the game And I have determined by the way for for anybody in the audience who who has been part of this debate link It pains me to say it link is not a ranger in Dungeons and Dragons link is a fighter

Hmm with a lot of tools Okay, so and if you think I'm wrong You can you can find a way to come argue at me later, but yeah your shadow in the warp so good fun Yeah, well, yeah, they're gonna. Yeah, you're gonna have a hard time doing it, but yeah, okay, okay? I like it I like it you you've got a very weapons heavy squad so far Yeah, I do I know I'm going to also point out here Link manages to fulfill the kind of gadget guy role that iron man does

Yeah without the selfishness and showboating Yeah, link link is another's kind of a Luke Skywalker. He's a guy on a hero's journey. And also, he is laconic to the point of silence. So he's like the mirror image of Tony Stark. In that way.

Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna go with Hancock. Oh, I like it. Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna go with Hancock. Oh, I like it. Yeah, nice. So, I think he's a flyer? He doesn't land well.

I'd count it, yeah, he's not a skilled flyer. Well, he's not a skilled lander, but yeah. But super strong, very durable. A man of the people, again, in that he's homeless when we first encounter him Yeah, I think that that helps ground folks. Okay, he's Yeah, you know he he he is Yeah, he's got the human touch to what's going on there. Okay, but yeah, I need a bruiser and That that man will bruise so yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna go with hand cards

So yeah, it's two flyers and again a really strong dude a really skilled dude and a witch. So yeah, nice Yeah, all right. Who's your fourth? My fourth I Who's your fourth? My fourth I think I'm gonna I'm gonna go to my to my bruiser in this group. That's gonna be Circa Wayne of Orkney Okay He has a complicated backstory

So like we we we have the the Not be well, he's not an anti-hero but he, he has done some things in his past. It's like the Clint Barton kind of, you know, he was part of the circus of crime, but now he's not anymore. Uh, in, in Gawain's case, it's, it's a femicide, but you know, um, he also, uh, has supernatural abilities. Um, which is to say he gets stronger, uh, every day from sunrise until noon and at noon, he is, um, depending on how he's,

who's depicting him and which sources writing about him. Uh, he, he would go toe to toe with Spidey probably at noon. Um, and so he's, he's kind of the Thor of my team. Uh, it's, it's the same, the same kind of vibe, um, and the same, the same, uh, you know, supernatural kind of vibe And the same the same You know supernatural kind of our source role Yeah, and yet another sword guy Yeah, and yet another yeah So cool all right we have established I mean we have established that I am a member of the of the red and gold house

And I have a sword rack in my home, so that is it shouldn't be surprising to anyone. So yeah, I'm gonna go with Han Solo Nice yeah nice he's gonna be the leader albeit reluctantly Okay, I can here's the deal I can see him being this is gonna be another situation kind of like kind of like my team where They're not they're not gonna stick around together very long. I don't But yeah, he is he is gonna be very cagey very savvy tactician and Willing to fight dirty. He's also my my mechanic. Oh Okay, I like that.

You know, he's a crack shot with a gun. Although I've already got that with Neil. But he, yeah, he's also good at fixing shit. And he can take a beating. Yeah. Like in the EU? He really can. In the EU, there's, god, I forget her name, but she's a force witch and she's torturing

him on Dathomir and he's like, what's next, my teeth? And she's like, oh, good idea. And she bursts his teeth in his mouth. Bursts them. Like if your teeth exploded all at once in your mouth. Like, and he's still hot Yeah, and I guess that's not me right Yeah, I don't know how how to without my mouth yeah, thank wow all right all right, yeah

Without my mouth. Yeah, thank Wow. All right. All right. Yeah Although he'd still be able to say his wife's name perfectly because you don't need teeth to say Leia That's a good point. However, you also got to keep in mind that when your teeth explode, what are they gonna shred? Yeah, true true tongues heal fast, but yeah Okay, but for you know a week is getting her time saying much of anything through that You know if you're trying to torture him for information. I gotta say it's like obviously you're not really in this for the info No, but she's a death Mary witch. I'm pretty sure yeah Interest that's true all right. Who's your fifth? Man, this is tough. I got two of them, and I know your team is gonna wax my team at this point no matter what

But I really like both of these characters so much I'm I'm okay, dr. Henry Jones jr. Oh wow, okay So we've got Harrison Ford representation on both sides. Yeah, we have Harrison Ford representation Oh, but you've got an academic on your team. Yeah, he's gonna know the history of shit I mean you've got your bard right there. Yeah, so Also, he's an accomplished tomb robber so we can you know, he's a sneak thief him and link both. Yeah Well, and link doesn't link he breaks. He doesn't enter tombs. Yeah, he yeah He commits a m commits massive, massive. A mink vase, huh?

No! Right? No, it's a fake. No, it's a, one of my, one of my favorite, as a, as a fan of the Zelda games since forever. One of my absolute favorite, uh, cartoons that somebody created about it is one where, uh, Zelda comes into the room and shouts, like, what have you been doing? Running around everywhere, smashing all the crockery in the castle. He goes, well, I mean, obviously how am I supposed to get the rupees out? There's in there's, and there's, and there's, and there's two frames of, of

Zelda with just as absolutely furious expression on her face Reaching into a pot and pulling out the rupee from the last frame is link Absolutely panic shrieking Great punctuation work on that. I love it So yeah, but okay, Dr. Jones also, he's, he's supposedly an ordinary human being. Um, but he, he takes the kind of fucking beating. He takes the kind of punishment. You're like, no, no, no, you're a mutant. Aren't you? Like you're, you're part of the Logan genus. Yes. Or gents. That would be a better, better. You're part of the Logan genus. Yes.

Or gents. I would be a better, better. You're part of the Logan gents. Like you have to be, there's no way you can kind of like, and walk five minutes afterward. Like, no. Um, and yeah, resourceful. Yeah. Uh, he is, he is my, this is really my, my super normal really my super normal In this in this group So yeah, I honestly I'll tell you my final choice And I know my team's gonna table yours like that is a forgo. Yes, how given however? Yeah My team might win, but I don't know that they'll survive

because three days later, the final thing will fall out of one of your team's corpses hands, and it will table my team as well. Like, your team has like the repudiative effect of like, I pulled the pin. Like, you know. Oh yeah, all over. Oh god damn it, I should have it's too late now what well instead of Han Solo I I should have had high from raising, Arizona

No, nice That's perfect Oh, I would I would oh take my money No, but instead I'm gonna finish this out with Ang The last airbender. All right. I mean, okay. I've got youth on my side now He's got the avatar state. Um he controls all the elements. Like he, okay, so I don't have a genius on this squad,

but you've got Aang having learned all four elements. You've got Han Solo's experience, which makes him tactfully- That counts for a lot. A lot. Rosenberg's witchcraft. They're gonna be okay with most situations. I've got a bruiser, two fliers, a witch,

and a guy who controls all the elements and martial arts. I've got two martial artists. I've got one guy who's a crack shot. Yeah, like, yeah. Aang is incredibly powerful. Yeah, I think the very first thing that my team would have to figure out is, okay, what are we gonna do to take out the kid with the glowy eyes? Well, and you guys, I think your team would be really good at setting up a... Finding some way to manipulate the battlefield to even the odds some. Yes. My team would blunder through that.

Yeah, but the power level of your team is enough that like you know once one hurt them enough Yeah, once everybody once everybody twigged to oh shit this whole thing is a setup right um the the Capability the flexibility of your wizard versus mine. Yeah, what would begin to tell very rapidly Yeah Yeah Yeah, would would begin to tell very rapidly. Yeah Yeah Yeah, the real trick would be neutralizing console or Luke Skywalker rather like after that for your for your team for your team It would be it would be okay blondie needs to go down hard. Yeah What do we what we need to do and and hon would be like, oh shit. Why?

My brother-in-law all right look again again, really How do you how do you always wind up with these people? Leo would find a way to neutralize Luke's hand and that would start the problem Yeah, cuz that is a sword hand Yeah, so yeah, that would be that would be a thing. So I just want to say, yes, before we move on, my sixth option that I didn't wind up using was Simon Templar, the saint. Oh, well, if you weren't going to go with Dr.

Jones, you would have gone with Simon Templar. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. You you would be able to I mean, honestly, he would be able to steal everything on my team Yeah, and make us think he was the new janitor like yeah, you know yeah new janitor has an Austrian accent by sunny You know You guys want some coffee or something? Would you like a cappuccino? Yeah, producer George and I

Joke with so when he when producer George and I first moved in together, that was one of the first movies we went and saw in the theater together. Oh, very cool. That's how long ago we've known each other. And we always loved Val Kilmer's depiction. And by the way, producer George's wife, Stacey, who's been on our show as well. She and I share a crush on on Val Kilmer. I can see why. Like dude yeah. But his depiction of the person in the German... In the train station? Yeah in the train station. I know you are not armed and I know I'm not armed and we can have a talk you know that. If you can have a conversation like civilized people. Yeah it was. I'll ask her like armed and I know I'm not armed and we can have a talk You know that you can if you can have a conversation right nice to people

Um, yeah, it was ask her like he and I quote that character all the time and it's just by Sonny. Yeah Yeah, so good. Okay. Yeah, my team tables yours weaknesses What is your team's weakness besides not flying? Well, yeah, the flying thing is really big. The other one is just our level. Is not that it's not that high. Luke is nigh. You know, Luke is, is my, is my god.

Yeah. Is yeah. And Gawain is close But only until noon, right? Even fighting at noon, I think Hancock's got him beat to be honest. Oh, well, yeah, cuz Hancock is a Superman XP So I mean, you know, yeah and now now Luke and Aang and Aang and Neo would team up on Luke, and I think that's yeah covers it Yeah, so but I yeah, I think I think just general power level Yeah, the characters that I was interested in putting on the team or not

Just are not are not Hype enough. I think you would stay a team a lot longer than mine like you said though. Yeah, I think they could I think they could yeah Yeah, okay weakness on my team Alcoholism Big problem. It's gonna be an issue. Yeah. Yeah No, also their ability to have relationships with other people is severely stunted. And I think that crucial part of humanity. Yeah.

Although Willow, I mean, she's she's the exception on the team, though. Willow Willow would wind up Willow would wind up being the part of the group. Like, cause- I think Aang would, to be honest, but, well, okay, Aang would be the conscience, Willow would be the heart. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right.

Yeah, Aang would be the group, in that lineup, Aang would be the group's conscience, and Willow would be the group's heart. Yeah. Because everybody in that group would look at Willow and be like, oh my God, this is literally a 17 year old girl. Right, and Aang's like, yeah, I'm this is literally a 17 year old girl. Right. And Ang's like, yeah, I'm 12. Yeah, I'm 12. And everybody'd look at him like, yeah. And you have God like,

yeah, you know, like obviously God like abilities, right? You know, and, and you brought the moon back. Yeah, dude, the moon. Also, um, you're a 12 year old boy with all of the dumb ass that goes with it. And so you're going to annoy us a lot more frequently than she is because she is literally a walking cinnamon roll. How dare you? Right? I just don't think my team would stay together much after whatever. I don't think they would. I think everybody would keep in touch. Yeah.

Like everybody would like everybody would want would keep in touch. Yeah. Like everybody would like everybody would want to keep in touch with and check on Ang and Willow. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't cohere very well. Yeah. I picked largely. I mean, Han Solo and

well, despite Han being like a radical individualist, he keeps teaming up with people a lot. But he's reluctant. Right? And so you need somebody else to be like the heart saying, no, we should all be together. And nobody else does that, quite honestly. Aang wasn't that character. Aang had a journey. Hancock damn sure wasn't that character. And I think he would cause enough problems. Neo actually, And I think he would cause enough problems neo actually Like he had support, but he yeah, he didn't have family

and And the thing is he was neo was a Was a figure I don't want to say figure head because he really was right all that in a bag of chips but he he was a Rallying point for the human resistance, but he wasn't really a leader because his quest was a very individual one. Like everybody else, as you said, it doesn't go well when you hang out with the hero.

Right. You know? Oh, I can't believe I didn't pick Conan. Oh no, he's in Marvel. Can't pick him. Yeah, no. He has several Marvel magazines I picked two avatars for this team by accident you know you got Neo

and yeah yeah yeah all right final one pick four or five regular folks I'm going to go first. Yeah. My first one will be... These are normal human beings that exist in our world at some point in history. Okay. I'm gonna pick... Brad Rogers. Nice. Yeah. I like that.

I like that a lot. Heart and soul of the team literally you need to have a Rogers On a team it's required. Yeah, it's an Avengers team. Yeah, he's got to be there. Yeah, um She's I mean talk about so this team will never split up No matter who's on it now like because because how do you leave a team with mr. Rogers on it right? And he's got multiple combat uniforms He's got a whole closet True of armored cardigans so and I assume rocket-powered shoes Yeah, yeah, so yeah Fred Rogers. He's my first

Okay, you might beat the shit out of my team if I'm starting with mr. Rogers Yeah, so we won't we won't be able to bring ourselves to beat the shit out of your team because it's Mr. Rogers. Like if you want to talk about psychic, you want to talk about psychic powers, like, shit, well you've, you've made it hard for me right out the gate, but actually I do have one person that I've, that I've thought of on my team who, okay. Who would, as a matter of fact be willing to hit mr Rogers, and that is the Viking at Stanford bridge. Oh Jesus Christ

Okay, yeah What does your white Christ say now Yeah, you've got your bruiser, you know yeah, I have yeah one of one of a couple but yeah, he's he's wow Actually know that he is he is in fact my bruiser. Sorry. Yeah, and quite the bruiser. He is nigh unkillable. Yep One weakness and it's barrels. Yeah Yes Yeah, Donkey Kong Donkey Kong. He's done. Yeah and yeah, and and terrifying to behold so So there you go. All right fuck it. I'm doubling down on my side Levar Burton

Gonna make me feel so goddamn killed you are gonna feel terrible feel so awful. Yes Yeah, all right. Yeah, so now I've got very well read Team yeah, and yeah Alright alright alright Nikola Tesla oh Nice you got yourself a genius. I have I have a genius with electric powers Yes, who can whip up a lightning cannon or an earthquake creator or an earthquake machine. Yeah You know but not a patent

but sadly Edison on my team he totally nerf you Know really all you need is anybody with a patent law degree And we own that law degree And we own that what? Yeah, okay, okay you got Nikola Tesla. I love it. I'm gonna go with Hedy Lamar Alright, so now I have a genius on my team. Yeah, she's brilliant Also does the femme fatale thing just fine. Very much, well honestly,

like I was gonna say, very much the face of the team, but not with these guys on the team too. Like everyone's a face. But yeah, I see your Tesla, and I I at least Call you with Hedy Lamar. Okay. Yeah, I like it who you got next Robert Smalls Nice or for anybody who does not immediately recognize the name, this is the man, uh, who delivered a Confederate gunboat, uh, into union hands, um, and figured out how to get himself, his, his family and the families of his co-conspirators, uh, out of, uh, out of slavery, out of Confederate hands, and then went on to play an important role going forward in the Civil War.

So he is my Clinton Barton. Yeah, he is he is my Clinton Barton. Yeah, he is. Because the the OK, no, we are not going to be able to shoot our way out of this. We need a plan. Here's what we're going to do. Mm hmm. This is it. So, yeah, no, he's he's fuck. That is a powerful dude.

Yeah. All right. My next person, Amelia Earhart. All right. So. I have a flyer. Yeah, you do. That's that's a good point. You do, in fact, have a flyer. I'm going to have to have Nikki Boy cook something up and then and then and then figure out yes

Yeah, well, I have an anti-aircraft lightning gun. How do you like that Amelia? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah shit, I'm in a command and conquer game. Yep Right all right who is who is your fourth? Teddy Roosevelt. Oh, you you are going to beat the shit out of me because he's not going to give a shit about LeVar Burton or Hedy Lamar. No. Yeah. No, no, he's not. And and as the author of all this, I'm going to stand back and feel terrible.

Yes. Yes. But, but the man literally rebuilt himself, you know, turned himself into a physical specimen. He did. He did. And, and then when, when his life had shattered disintegrated in front of him, uh, or all around him, uh, he went out West and reinvented himself

emotionally. Yeah. Um, and, and all along the way made connections and built friendships that then served him later on. His ability to develop his own charisma turned, he, you know, everything that we've said on this show about people who are savvy about their image. And, and I'm specifically right now thinking of the episodes we dedicated to, uh, Hulk Balea, um, and, and his, his invention of himself and his consciousness of charisma.

Yes. Teddy Roosevelt was, was the same way, but I think hitched to a different kind of horse Okay, yeah, that's it. Yeah and so He's going to be the member of the team who's like no. I know a guy Yeah, this is cool. Wait Yes, I understand. This is problem, but hold on. Let me let me let me use let me use the telephone and You know

He also inspired both Groucho Marx and Bugs Bunny's walk That's true. So yeah, there's that so yeah, so there you go delighted So bully bully and dude could take a shot yeah and keep on going he's like a time and deliver it to an hour speech right um dude could take an emotional shot a lead shot was blinded in one eye could take a punch I mean you keep peeping picking guys who could take a beating. Yep.

That is a thing. Okay. My fifth and final, every good team needs a headquarters. Okay. I want the man who can design that headquarters. Okay. Jimmy motherfucking Carter

Hey, there's so many habitat for humane Yeah, right. All right. Yeah, right. There you go. And God I'm guys on table in this team. Yeah Yeah, well, yeah is he is unkillable. I'm still living Would actually as of this release he may have just died. I don't know Yeah, but we record months in advance. Yeah, but but yeah, there you go. That's Jimmy Carter You know understands agriculture has an understanding of nuclear physics, so I've got two geniuses on the team Yeah, leader of them just genuinely Nice people. Oh very very nice people. Yeah

All right, who's your who's your final person who will absolutely wreck? Harriet Tubman, oh Okay, so I have a list of alternates in case you picked any of mine. Like if you started to see what I was doing. It was going to be Harpo Marx. Oh, okay. Desmond Doss, the conscientious objector from Iwo Jima. Okay, okay. John Brown.

I was shocked you didn't pick him, honestly. Because he fucking has a sword. Yeah. Harriet Tubman was the final one on that list. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like because because I figured you would have picked John Brown. Yeah. You know, and so I was like thinking about it. I'm surprised I didn't, too. But Robert Robert Smalls came up in my head first. Yeah. All right. So Harriet, motherfucking Tubman.

Harriet, as we see on the show, motherfucking Tubman. Harriet as we see on this show motherfucking Tubman. Yeah So yeah, you're gonna know how to get everywhere. Oh, yeah, and and Between the Viking at Stamford Bridge Being physically unkillable right and Harriet Tubman being Psychologically unstoppable right you know, no, we are not turning back. We are not quitting We are committed. Yeah, you're gonna go. There's no stopping your team done. There is no stopping. There is no yeah so I

You know also Harriet Tubman Christ she she lived from John Adams to Ronald Reagan. That's 38 presidencies. Yeah, that's that's fucking to stay, including Jimmy Carter. OK. Obviously, I see the field to you on this, but I will point out with my team, you have an inventor, you have a flyer and three men who will paralyze any bad guy into shame Almost any bad guy. Yeah, you you may beat this crew, but they will destroy you with sincerity and kindness Yeah, our Burton is gonna be the leader actually because he's the most extroverted of my crew. Yeah. Yeah

but Sense yeah, but yeah, there's there's no way I'm gonna stand up to the guys that you've picked. I Went a totally different skill set. Yeah. Yeah I was thinking okay, this is this is like a Marvel mashup. We got a we got to beat the shit out of each other So yeah, I'm going yeah My obviously I will say I will call it out my weakness is physical capabilities Yeah, my weakness. I think is gonna be coherence or or I agree unity keeping Viking is not gonna get along with Tesla

Teddy Roosevelt will not get along with With the Viking well actually there might be a begrudging respect there There'd be I think my thing and I think you get along with Robert Smalls actually he'd have a respect He'd have a great deal of respect for smalls Not so much Harry Tubman though. No, so well. Yeah, it's being a woman. Yeah get in his way but and and I think he'd be he'd be Flattered to be able to say that he was hanging out with such a genius as Nikola Tesla I think Roosevelt would oh fully want to do you know like well

Yeah, he's the smartest guy and at least on the eastern seaboard although although He would have much preferred to hang with Edison than Tesla because Tesla's a foreigner and okay, and Tesla was good friends with Mark Twain and and Roosevelt fucking hated Twain yeah, so I will guess doubt that he would get along with Yeah, so I will because doubt that he would get along with Yeah, all right. All right. Yeah second thought that would be an issue

But that just that just reinforces what I'm saying about the team's weakness is there they're not they're not gonna cohere very well I think Smalls is gonna be the brains the operation, but I think the leader is gonna be Teddy Operation, but I think the leader is gonna be Teddy Just by virtue won't let anyone else yeah, just by virtue of force of personality yeah You know which which will create issues with multiple people because everybody in this group has a reason to have an ego Mm-hmm. I think the only one of them Well, I don't know. I I don't know enough about Harriet Tubman's personality Oh, she drew guns on people. She's like no we're gonna go fucking my way because I know what i'm doing

Okay, that's kind of what I suspected. Yeah. Yeah Smalls might be the only one who'd be like, all right you have all right long you got a plan I mean, I got like three backup plans, but you got a plan. So all right. All right, cool So, okay, you know incoherence versus my Frailty yeah, yeah, so pretty much cool. Well shit. That was fun. That was yeah I'm three and oh or I'm three and one against you yeah, but And I feel really bad about the one so I feel the pure victory

You run the table just because like yeah, I'm gonna win this one, but god I don't want to Okay Let's see is there anything you want to recommend to people to read this week There is not anything I want to recommend anybody to read but I am going to very strongly recommend the Netflix Ultraman animation. Okay. It is for anybody who is a fan of the Ultraman Sub-genre I Think it's a really good modern Interpretation, okay. It's very well animated and I so far the amount of it that I've been able to watch it is

Very well voice acted as well. So I strong recommendation for it. How about you? I'm going to recommend a book by Daniel O'Brien called how to fight presidents defending yourself against the badasses who ran this country this book actually so Daniel O'Brien I don't know if you know he ended up being a writer for John Oliver show but he was one of the big-time content guys as far as creating cool shit for cracked He was okay after hours. He was Daniel Okay. Yeah, but he wrote this book this book got him put on a list Be because it well, you know Secret Service like

What are you wanting to fight presidents? So Yeah, he is on a list But I think given what we've been talking about and the fact that we just had two presidents fighting each other And just you know picking groups of people to fight. I think it's a it's a fun little arc of a book It's okay. You could read it per president, which is kind of cool. It's nice and epic Yeah, so you never want to be found am I right No at present that is correct. Okay, I remain a shadow in the warp But we collectively can be found at our website at wubba wubba wubba dot geek history time comm

Where you can go through our archives, uh, find any other episodes by topic that you're going to be interested in. Uh, there are now over 270 of them at this point. So there's an awful lot of stuff to choose from. Um, we can also be found either on the Apple podcast app or on the Amazon podcast app or on Spotify. And wherever you have found us, please take the time to give us a five-star review and subscribe because you know you want to hear more of this kind of content. And how about you, sir?

Where can you be found? Let's see. I'm betting that the October 4th show has already happened at the Comedy Spot at 9 p.m. for accountable punishment. But if it hasn't, get a ticket. It's going to be a banger of a show. But, barring that, November 1st and December 6th and January 3rd, you should come on down to the Comedy Spot in Sacramento at 9pm. That's the first Friday of every month if you noticed the pattern. And come and watch Capital Punishment.

It's the longest running pun underground tournament that's been happening in the world, and certainly in Sacramento. More than 8 years old now. So come on down, spin that wheel, pun, battle, win, check out who we got going against each other, and just have a lovely time. If you can't come live, then I recommend you go to the Comedy Spots website and buy an e-ticket, I think that's what they're called,

where you can stream the show at home at your leisure. And for those of you who are old enough to understand the reference Uh having having seen his show it is an e-ticket. There you go So yeah, that's where you can see us. Uh, cool. Well, thanks for this. This was a nice lark from the You know very serious take on the smurfs that I gave her. Yeah Cool well for geek history of time i'm damien harmony on the Smurfs that I gave her. Yeah. So, cool. Well, for Geek History of Time, I'm Damian Harmony. And I'm Ed Blalock, and until next time, bully!