A Geek History of Time - Episode 389 - Top 5 Lists part II

Episode Date: October 9, 2026

They mean it is 2 o'clock in the fucking morning where I am. The 1848ers were so much more radical than what we're comfortable or familiar with. The layer, the layer of sarcasm involved in that entire delivery is like I've seen. It's not even frosting. But he failed, so fuck them buddies. Now after World War II ended Lockley started mapping out foot trails for the newly created. Oh God, Pembroke Shire. Pembrokeshire?

Pembrokeshire. Okay. Pembrokeshire. Just please, let me just read Latin all day. We're way into the 19th century now. I'm sorry. Well, Damien, it's 3 o'clock in the fucking morning.

This is a geek history of time. Where we connect nerdery to the real world. My name is Ed Blaylock. I'm a world history teacher here in Northern California. And I want to point out before I mention what's coming next that I am 51 years old. I am married.

I have a child. I have a mortgage. I have a pretty solid career. I am by a whole lot of measuring sticks, a full on grown up. But today I was very, very excited because a package arrived in the mail that I ordered a little bit ago. And Damien is going to see it as I hold up what it is that I got today. I ordered a few weeks ago an action figure-sized

Space Marine from Joy Toy Toys It is a Space Wolf Intercessor Who came with multiple hands That you can pop off So he can like have a fist on one hand Or he can hold

Different different weapons He came with a chain sword And a bolt pistol And a full-on bolt rifle and and it is just so cool. So yeah. That's pretty fucking right. Yeah, I spent a certain amount of time today

while my son was having his reading time just fooling around posing him and trying to find, you know, what's the coolest like he looks like he's fighting, you know, position I could get him in. Yeah. This is one of the advantages to being a grown-up and having grown-up money. So, yeah.

And still essentially being a 12-year-old in a lot of meaningful ways. So, yeah, I haven't come up with a name for him yet, but I'm debating about whether he's just going to be on a bookshelf here at home or if I'm going to find a spot out of reach of students where he's going to live in my classroom as a Sentinel. Just so I can, I can, you know, cue to my students that, yes, as a matter of fact, I am a gigantic turbo nerd. You know. Yeah. So you have them in your student in your classroom. You've got to give him a name that sounds like a real pussy name. Clarence.

Yeah. Clarence. Or Milton. Milton. Milton. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's that's what I have going on. Nice. He's he's the coolest thing. So yeah. How about you? I'm Damien Harmony. I'm a U.S. history teacher up here in Northern California at the high school level. and last week I told you about how my daughter finished eighth grade.

What I didn't tell you was how my son finished his sophomore year of high school. He has finished all three of his math courses that are required for graduation. Anything math now, it will be recreational math, not obligatory math. Okay, very cool. Now, as folks know, my son has special needs and a few learning disabilities, and that means that I've been very active in his IEP, making sure that he gets the supports that he needs. Not as a lawnmower parent,

but I think as somebody who genuinely truly understands the actual purpose of an IEP. Right. And that is he has to do all the fucking work. We just put things in place where him doing all the fucking work is actually going to help him. Right.

So, and help him does not mean getting good grades. Help him means making sure he learns shit. So, Yes. Math is one of those subjects whereby if you miss a part of it, you're fucked for the rest of it. Whereas history, if you miss the Great Depression, you can still figure out reganomics pretty well. Would it help? Sure.

But do you need it? No. History is much more modular. Kids don't need to know fuck all about the Civil War to understand World War I in any true macro sense. That doesn't mean it would. It wouldn't help, but, you know, but math, you don't know fractions. You're fucked for everything else. So his math.

Boy, howdy. Yeah, his math journey was, now he goes to a school that has a four-by-four schedule. And that is you get four semesters in this fall and then, or four classes in the fall, four classes in the spring. So they piloted a program for kids who struggle with math coming out of eighth grade. And he wasn't particularly struggling, but I was like, ooh, I want him to have this. And what it was was math 1A, math 1B. So first semester was slowed down math 1, and second semester was slowed down math 1, the second chapter.

So instead of one semester covering all of math, he had two semesters covering all at math. And the reason for that was because he would get slower bites at the apple. He would truly understand the flavor, et cetera, et cetera, and it would set the foundations for him. but then I told them now once you get him into math two I want it to be right after the summer

so his sophomore year needs to start with math two and I said then I want him to hit math three right away they're like ah we don't know if we can do this I said bullshit you offer the classes both times blah blah blah well it just seems like that would be really stressful and you know we want him to like school I'm like he doesn't like school ever and he wants to get done with math that ship has sailed yeah

and and it's not even that school has been bad for him he understands its use and he understands understands its necessity, he would just much rather do all the other things. A little Tom Sawyer. That being said, I said, I don't want him to take math two fall semester, and then the spring semester of his junior year take math three. So do it one right after the other. We're going to knock this shit out.

Here we go. Math two, he struggled and kept finding ways to succeed and build his competency, and he ended up with a pretty good grade. Math three, it was the same thing. He has now scored in his math classes for math two and three, which I'm going to say is the level equivalent of when we took geometry in algebra two. Yeah, sounds about right. Except he's dealing with fucking logarithms here.

Yeah. Like, I'm like, I never dealt with logarithms. And I stayed awake for the lectures. I just go to sleep during the work portion, right? But he's doing math I've never thought of. He scored better grades than I ever scored in my math classes. And I'm just super proud of him because the whole thing was due to his hard work to the point where going into the final he had a 91. And he was a little bit stressed about like, I don't know if I can keep my A.

I said, have I ever given a shit about the results? Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of you. I'll pay you more for the results. But have I ever given a shit about the results? No. I said, good. Now focus on the process because the results will or won't come.

but the learning will always happen. So he took his final. He texted me. He's like, I got a 44%. I was like, okay. He's like, so I have a B plus now. But the most important thing is that I did my best. I'm like, well, there you go.

Now you don't ever have to do math if you don't want to do math. So I hope that you'll want to do math. But so my son has successfully completed math at a much higher clip than I ever did. Very cool. Yes. So you showed me your space marie. just a minute ago, and he had a chainsaw sword. Yes.

Yeah. Do you have a top five favorite sci-fi weapons, or is... Oh, I can... I can go on that. Yeah. Okay. Let's start there. Okay.

Tonight is another top five. Yeah. Works for me. Now, I'm going to leave lightsabers out of this because it's space fantasy. but also it's just it's that's too fucking obvious to to have lightsabers um as number one so it's a little on the nose yeah yeah my number five is going to be the zf one pod weapon system from fifth element that's a good one that's a good that's a solid starting point i like it sold by jean baptiste emmanuel borg uh it has a rocket launcher an arrow launcher with poison gas a net launcher

a flamethrower, an ice cube system. It also has a relay function. One shot hits the target, and every shot after that goes to that same very point. And, as it turns out, it has a self-destruct button. A real killer would have asked about the big red button. One of honest to God, one of the best moments in that subgenre of science fiction,

I think ever. Yes. Gary Oldman, Gary Oldman just delivers that line. It's so clear. He's having so much fun playing that character. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, chef's kiss.

It's brilliant. Yeah. So that's my number five. What's yours? Okay. Number five, I'm, I think I'm going to go with the Bolter

from Warhammer 40,000. Um, the bolters come in in several different flavors. Um, there is, there is the standard bolt gun or bolt rifle carried by the Adeptus Astartees. There's the bolt pistol. Right. And then there's the Usain Bolt starter pistol. Oh, nice. Nice.

Yeah. Uh, and then there is the, the heavy bolter, which are the, are the basic three flavors of it. And then there's the crotch weapon, the nuts and bolter. and then there's the one that makes Sleneshi armies yeah and then there's the one that makes your crotch crawl up into you the and bolter nice nice I you know what not even mad

and then there's the bandoliers that that serve as a vest the over the shoulder bolter holters nice nice so in in the lore and and it's one of the things about the Warhammer 40,000 universe that is

both front frustrating and at the same time kind of charming is like you get the description of how a weapon works, but you don't get all of the details. So a bolter is essentially, the term that we use in the real world is a gyrojet weapon. So the rounds that a bolter fires are essentially rocket propelled. and they fire mass reactive rounds. So the round penetrates, it's designed to, you know, penetrate a target and then detonate inside the target. So they're explosive. Oh, it's a Judas bullet.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They are described as anywhere between like 50 caliber and like 68 caliber. They're giant big bullets. That's huge. Yeah. It's, well, this is a weapon that's,

that's the primary weapon of the Adeptusisusis. This is carried by space marines. This is not a weapon that's carried by regular human troopers. Right. Now, human, regular Imperial Guard soldiers or militarum, sorry, astramilitarim now in more modern editions. But anyway, ordinary human troopers might have a crew served heavy bolter as a, as like a tripod weapon. But space marines carry a bolt rifle as their bolt gun. gun as their primary armament.

And then there's the hand cannon version of it that all of them carry as a sidearm so that when they get into close combat, they have, they have something they can, you know, use there. Okay. And it is over the top. When you think about it too long, it is absolutely ridiculous. It is always depicted as making a gigantic, big, loud noise. and it is just it encapsulates so many things

about 40K all in one big usually red or black package. Nice. So that's the bolt gun. Okay. My number four is actually a very simple weapon. It is the stun baton from Demolition Man. Okay.

It is simple. It is effective, largely benign. I don't see that they did any kind of concussive thing. It just kind of shorts out your neuropathways. Yeah. But also, as it turns, turns out you can use it to electrify people across in water yeah that's cool so yeah that's that's my number four sci-fi weapon how about yours okay um i'm gonna say that my number four i'm gonna

scale things up uh pretty dramatically my number four has to be the ppc from battle tech and you know we we talked about when we talked about our favorite max you know we a little bit got into er large lasers versus PBCs. I just really like the concept of, this is a lightning cannon. Yeah. It says, distorts the air around you.

Yes, yes. It causes a massive magnetic distortion. Yeah. On along its path. Yeah. And when it hits, it's, you know,

a bundle of ions moving at, you know, fuck all speed. Yeah. It's a little too ion. Yeah, I really do think. Yeah, nice. Again, not even mad.

It's chaos rains. Oh, yeah, there you go. But just the, and what I love about it in the context of battle tech is anybody who does the numbers on, okay, so what you're saying is you're going to be throwing, you know, charged ions, electrons, whatever, you know, however many thousand yards, you know, 100 yards, because ranges in battle tech are dumb. But, you know, you're going to throw a bundle of charged ions at this speed doing this amount of damage. And, like, Battletech is a game that attracts science nerds. They've done the math. And, like, you'd need the power equivalent of we're going to power Sacramento for an hour. Right.

To fire this weapon once. Yeah. You know, but, you know, in battle tech, no, no, that's a main line, you know, that's, that's a primary battlefield weapon. Like, yeah. Holy shit. It reminds me of the, uh, the, uh, the death star when it fires its lasers. This is pre-Disney takeover. So now it's all hyper crystals.

Um, but when it fires its lasers on the death star, um, it's the equivalent of like two years resources for most planets. Right. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Similar, similar kind of let's really think about the scale here. Mm-hmm. What we're doing. And, you know, like anything in most tabletop games, the physics of it completely fall apart if you think about it for more than a second and a half. But it's really cool. Yeah. And that's what matters. So there you go. That's my number four. What about you? Actually, just real quick, the scaling issue that you talk about kind of reminds me of when people talked about how fast data computed in like 1990. Yeah. You know, data from Star Trek, data, you know, I'm capable of 42 quadrillion, blah, blah, blah, whatever the fucks. Right.

I made up the number. Yeah. And computers now can do like eight times that. Yeah. Yeah, we've achieved. That's, that's opposite scaling issue. Yeah. in, I think that's a subcategory of what TV trips calls Z Rust.

This looked really futuristic in 1960. Yes. And it doesn't anymore. Not so much. Not quite so much, no. All right, my number three? Yeah. The identity disc.

Oh, good one. Yeah. Deadly Frisbee. Yeah. Deadly energy Frisbee. And the more that you do with it, the more you can control it because it remembers everything for you. Yeah. That's just cool.

Yeah. I like that. They used it to drink water. They used it to like block shit. They used it to pull open Sark's head. It's a frisbee. Yeah. It's, you know, the, the, the high-eye balls were just a sport that turned deadly.

This is an actual weapon. So, yeah. Yeah. All right. So that's my number three. What's yours? Okay. My number three,

I'm going back to Warhammer 40,000, because there are so many to choose from. Kind of the point of the whole game. In that universe, kind of is, is the chain sword. I was wondering where that would land. Yeah.

Yeah. And it is absolutely patently ridiculous. Yeah. Like when you, again, When you think about it, it's an even more obvious version of the same issue with the PPC. Like with the particle detector cannon, you have to think a little bit about the physics. All you have to do is think about how would that actually work with a chainsword?

And it doesn't. Like, it's not going to do the things it's described as doing. But God damn, if it isn't just metal as fuck. literally you know yeah it's it's i'm gonna i'm gonna swing a chainsaw like a cavalry saber and and what and obviously whatever i hit is fucked yeah and and that is the that is the iconic defining this is the close combat weapon carried by space marines is the chain sword it is it is their their you know if they are knights templar it is their long sword

like that is that is their tool for for dealing with the alien the heretic and the mutant and like it's ridiculous just like everything else in 40k and god i love it so so yeah that's that's my number three what about you it is what we would call grotesque truly yes yeah yes in every sense of the word yes yeah well uh let's see uh my number two is the proton pack yeah you thought you were safe because you're dead? Yeah. No. It is the most inaccurate, sloppy, and easy to get wrong weapon that there is.

I mean, you saw what it did to the table, the chandelier, half the ballroom, the bar, never mind that poor maid's cart. But if it locks onto a ghost, it acts as a lasso, and that positron accelerator can keep you from doing ghostly free shit. So. Yeah. All right. Number one?

Well, I still got to do number two. Oh, that's right. That's right. You're number two. Yeah. No, no. I'm going to go with... What am I going to go with?

I had an idea. And then it disappeared. Oh, I'm going to go with just general category, powered armor. oh okay um the idea of a suit of armor that is not only protective but augments the wearer you know makes you stronger maybe has a jump pack attached to it um you know whether we're talking about iron man whether we're talking about space marines whether we're talking about starship troopers right um you know or or the the book armor um any any place in science

fiction where, you know, you have that going on, it opens up all kinds of avenues for storytelling. There's all kinds of things that you can play with. And just the idea of, you know, that being a mechanism for augmenting a soldier. Yeah. Which is wild because it's normally just a place to keep all your clothes. Yes. Yeah.

Nice. And just to have them cycle through just by the hit of a button. Yeah. Power on wall. Yeah. Nice. I'll play. No, you're right, though.

I mean, it is one of those, you know how like in the second Matrix movie, they talked about how the entire world is built on this fundamental concept so that like the operating system of the entire simulation runs on this same concept. And so he's like, oh, electricity. Exactly. And if we knock that out, then power armor is very much that for sci-fi. Like, there's some version of it in just about every goddamn sci-fi there is. Yeah. Yeah. So, all right.

My number one is the monomolecular wire from Johnny Mnemonic. Nice. That thing was so goddamn cool. So basically, for those who haven't seen one of Keanu Reeves' early movies, One of the movies that got him made fun of a lot before he kind of became this icon of like being a good person. But it's a single molecule across, and it has an energy supply powering through it,

and it cuts through everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. A fence, a person's face, because it's so thin. And it's totally hidden because it's like a garot that's on a spool that comes out from like your missing thumb. So it's about three meters of this material.

That's 10 feet. So you can swing it around and it becomes a shield. You could swing it on people and you were just lopping off body parts. You could wrap it around something and it's instant decapitation of that thing. Yeah. It was absolutely underutilized in Johnny Nemonic

and they used it for some cool shit. And it was still, I was like, why is anybody using anything else? So what's interesting about that idea is a similar idea appears in the Ringworld series by Larry Niven back in the when did he start writing the series? I want to say it was the 60s, the 70s. And the version in Ringworld is a is a sword-like weapon that what the energy field does

is it charges, it essentially creates a magnetic or, you know, field around the wire to cause it to be rigid and act like a blade and you can vary the length of it it can be a knife length all the way out to the length of a sword and it has a little red dot on the end of it so you so you the user can keep track of where where the end of it is because otherwise it would be invisible and um you can relax it in order to you can switch the power field off to wrap it around somebody and then switch the power field on to then, you know, cut off whatever it is you've surrounded with with the cord with the with a strand. And then that idea goes into Johnny Mnemonic and then it reappears in cyberpunk specifically in the in the subgenre in the voice of the whirlwind by Walter John Williams. the main character in that novel buys one as he's having the, you know, I'm preparing for the roaring rampage of revenge at the very end of the book. And, you know, winds up using it to great effect against the antagonists there. So that's, that is one that has shown up again. You know, like Johnny DeMonic is where most people who, who have seen the concept have seen it.

Right. But it's, it's, it's an idea that other authors have played around with. Well, and Johnny Nomonic was based on the 81 Gibson short story. Yeah. Which predates the Voice of the World Win by a good six years. Yeah. But still, it's it, it's power armor, you know, in some ways. Like, yeah, a little more specialized.

But yeah. Cool. All right. What's your number one? Oh, my number one, I'm, I'm going. to have to go with, and this is just because this is off the top of my head, but also in the Ringworld series,

Niven came up with the idea of the laser flashlight. Okay. And it is literally what it says on the tin, which in the 60s, this was really, you know, amazingly high future tech. Nowadays, it's,

with enough money, you can buy a powerful enough laser that you can, click it on and start setting shit on fire like, you know, without having to worry, but like, it's just a thing, right? But, um, the idea was it, you can have it act literally as a flashlight. And then when you need a weapon, you hit a button and it becomes a high powered laser. And what he pointed out, that I think, um, makes it interesting from a science fiction point of view.

is it's not it doesn't work you know it doesn't turn into like a light saber it is still a laser and the speed with which you move it determines how badly it hurts the person you hit if you wiggle it rapidly it's it's gonna hurt them it's gonna cause surface burns and they're gonna you know you're gonna be causing them to flinch away

if you point it and hold it, it'll burn a hole through somebody. Okay. Because it is still more powerful than lasers that we have access to today. But like, we have access to the concept in real life is kind of what I was saying.

But, you know, if you point it and hold it, you're really going to hurt somebody. If you wiggle it around, at a far enough range, you're going to be able to keep a crowd of people like at a distance as you, you cause their clothing to smolder and them to go, ow,

out, you know. Right, right. It could be a harassing weapon. Yeah. And so his, his level of thought that he applied to it,

I think elevates it above, like what it would be just on its own. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm going to go with that.

What have you got for your number one? Oh, that way, I gave you my number one. Oh, right. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah.

All right. Nice. Well, that was sci-fi do you do you have fantasy weapons at the ready or do you want more time on that hmm um i'm i'm i'm going to want more time on that one okay then i'm going to just do one that i know you're not going to have so you're just going to have to sit back and enjoy okay the top five weirdest baseball statistics okay yeah this will be fun all right okay so baseball is an old ass but modern game.

It has had several rule changes since its inception and it has a wealth of measurable statistics, some of which will never be touched again. And others are like, oh, this is the fourth time that a man has done this on a blue moon in a July. And you're just like, who came up with like, what the fuck? Like, it's just, it's so goddamn. Well, this guy, he's 13 of 70. when going against left-handed pitchers

who don't throw knuckle balls and who only throw above, you know, and you're like, it is amazing the stats people come up with. So as a result, this combination of being old, of having the rule changes and having so many measurable statistics has given us some really weird records.

Okay. I also want to point out baseball, like famously, like professional athletes will talk about this. is a baseball season is a shit ton of games 183 or 180 180 yeah you know uh football is like 16 17 now unfortunately yeah well okay yeah is it should be 14 but yeah they they go up to 17 now and and yeah so so but still basketball is 82 yeah uh i don't know what hockey is i think it's close to basketball yeah that could be wrong and so like like by a sizable margin basketball and hockey both have

a lot of games but baseball you have a hundred plus years of professional baseball being played with stats being kept and that's over the course of 180 games in a season right so

30 teams or so yeah I think right now it's 36 so yeah yeah it's just the wealth of of primary source documentation. It's like, you know, holy crap. Oh, I didn't look this up.

I should have figured out how many baseball players there have ever been. But instead, here's number five. Most at-bats with zero home runs. Oh, fuck, man. Well, here's the thing, though.

You don't have to hit home runs to be a contributing member of a team. That's true. And in different eras, home runs were very rare. Like there was a year when Unsporting Going for him

Yeah Ty Cob famously like he's like Well if I wanted to hit home runs I'd hit those too And then like the next game he went like three for four And hit three home runs And then he went to the reporter after he was like See now I'm going to go back to playing real baseball Which it was a different time

You know But like I think Babe Ruth famously I think there was one season where he He topped the league with like 21 home runs. Yeah. Which that's really low for him. So it was early on.

And the next highest home run hitter was five. Which just goes to show what a fucking monster he was. Yeah. But also it's 180 games. So. I honestly don't understand how baseball players manage to have careers as long as they do. Because God Almighty, just the number of times you've got to go out there.

Yeah, but. But you get four at bats a game typically. That's okay, true. And depending on your position, how much activity and, you know, if you're in the outfield, you're going to have a longer, theoretically you're going to have a longer career because nobody's sliding into you. If, however, it's fair. However, it's not like baseball teams maintained their outfield either.

So there's plenty of guys whose knees and legs got destroyed by the field itself. Yeah. There was an area called the pond in one. baseball outfield because it was a pond. It was a swamp. Yeah. It was just like and there's guys who'd run back and they'd run straight into the wall and that thing was made of fucking bricks or concrete.

I mean, it was just. Okay. So most at-bats with zero home runs as a guy named William Holbert, whose career goes from 1876 to 1888. So 12 years. Okay. Now this is what's called the deadball era. Okay.

Which is where like they did everything. they could to scuff and fuck up the ball because nobody had been killed by a pitch yet so they're like it doesn't have to be white um and so just and and the the more misshapen and lumpin the the ball could be the more erratic it's it's flight flight path yeah and then when you hit it like it's like you splayed open a cabbage so it's not going to get much distant like i love i love your choice of metaphor Oh, I love baseball. I love the history of baseball so much. So, still, during the dead ball at Earth, this fucker had zero home runs.

He was a catcher. Okay. And catchers were so valuable defensively that their low slugging percentage and their low batting average would be acceptable. Okay. This is why Bob Yucer somehow had a successful career, by the way. Okay. Now, Holbert didn't issue home runs for the sake of getting good hits either because his overall batting average in his 12-year career was 208. Oh, wow.

That means on a normal day, he had a chance of missing all four and then he'd get a hit. He'd basically get two hits every, well, let's see, every 10 at bats. So, okay, let's explode that out. 10 goes to 14, 14 goes to 20. he'd get four hits over the course of five games. Wow. On average. But he was a catcher and they needed him.

So he had a 12-year career of never having a home run. Okay. Yeah. All right. The fourth one is a guy named Johnny Sane, S-A-I-N. He was the last pitcher to face Babe Ruth in the major leagues. Now that's not a big deal. It's got to happen to someone, right?

Right. But he was also the first pitcher. in the major leagues to face Jackie Robinson. Talk about being born under a bad sign. But also his name is forever tied to two of the greatest black athletes in baseball. That's true. By the way, Babe Ruth was the nickname they had for him at the orphanage was N-word lips. If you look at his features, they're very broad.

His skin is very tawny. He had like piercing blue eyes or I forget if they were light eyes or blue eyes. But either way, he was quite likely of malungeon descent, which means that per the rules of white supremacy, his family would have done everything they could to deny the African-American heritage part of their malungeon descent. Right. But it's entirely possible that there were a number of baseball players,

not the least of which being Babe Ruth, who were in fact in violation of the one-drop rule. Right. So, but anyway, this guy, I mean, he was the last guy to pitch to Babe Ruth, who is famously one of the greatest who have ever put on the uniform. Right. And he was the first to pitch to Jackie Robinson, who was famously one of the best to ever put on the uniform. Okay. Yeah.

Now, this third one is one of my, he, he's the first giant, San Francisco giant that I ever saw get hit. a home run. So he's always been one of my favorite guys. Okay. Even though he was a pitch hitter at the time, like he was on the end of his career. Okay. But he's a guy named Joel Youngblood. And he is the only player to ever get two different hits for two different teams in two different cities on the same day. Was he on a national and an American league team? I forget if he went from national, to an American League team, but all the other things are true.

He was traded. So he played a game, got traded, and then played that evening. Suited up and played another game on the same day. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's fucking crazy.

You know, you have a sport last long enough. You're going to have crazy shit happen. That's, wow. All right. Yeah. So yeah, he started the night, he started the day on the New York Mets. Okay. And then he got traded to the Montreal Expos. Oh, wow.

And I believe the Expos were in the National League as well. So it wasn't two different leagues. Okay. But still. And now that may- That's remarkable. That makes sense, though, because Montreal and New York are not that far apart. Yeah. Yeah. So boom-da-boom. But yeah, it's just. Wow. All right.

Number two. Tony Gwynne. Padres, babe. He had more assists in college basketball. Okay. A four-year career in college basketball. He had more assists in college basketball. Then he has strikeouts in his baseball career, which was a 22-year career.

Oh, shit. What? He's famous for being impossible to strike out. Like, the amount of most... Multiple strikeout games that he's ever had is like just so vanishingly small. I mean, I didn't realize he was that frightening a batter. Oh, God. Yeah.

He, I mean, I knew he was, I knew he was. He's amazing. Amazing. I knew he was amazing. I didn't realize he was that amazing. Oh, like, holy cow. The best pictures of his career, I think, combined for a total of like, single-digit strikeouts against him.

And these are guys who like, like won the World Series and shit. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So, yeah, just guys who like frightened every batter. Like, no problem. Shish.

Yeah. And again, famously amongst athletes, hitting a major league pitched baseball. Yeah. Is reputed like football players, basketball player, else look at, look at baseball players, you know, having to hit a fastball in the major league,

like, I couldn't do that. Right. That's a recognized that is hard thing. Yeah. So, wow. Yeah. That was an average of 21 strikeouts per season. Okay.

Out of 180 games. Right. And so 180 games is roughly 180 times four. Right. Right. So that's what 720 at bat Yeah

Out of roughly 720 at bats He struck out 21 times That doesn't mean he fell He didn't foul out and do all these other things He did Yeah Because he never hit over He got very close

He was the closest player to hitting 400 Since Ted Williams Yeah Almost got there But yeah He'd struck out 21 times per season Um

Now baseball starts In April Right Okay. Last season, almost 130 players had already struck out 22 times by the end of April. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, he was going to make contact with the fucking ball.

Yeah. Like you were not going to get it past him. He was going to make contact with the ball. And it was going to be up to your catcher and your, you know, your first baseman. Yeah. To make it work. To make it work. Yeah.

Oh, my cow. He, here's another. example. He had 45 different games where he hit four times in the game. Went four for four. Holy cow. That's 11 times more than he recorded multi-strikeout games. That's crazy.

So he, okay, so this is the one that I found. It was Greg Maddox. He faced Greg Maddox 107 times in his career. And he batted 415 against Maddox. Maddox famously just made everyone miss. And he hit above his average, his lifetime average, against this guy, who won the fucking Sy Young Award four times. It's just, wow. Yeah, it's just bonkers. And again, he had, what was it? I wrote it down here, 590 assists in college, 434 strikeouts in the major leagues.

gee, Christmas. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. By the way, if you split his career in half, he would rank first and second in Padre's history when it came to runs, hits and total bases and doubles.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, growing up in San Diego. Yeah. Oh, God, he's the hero. Yeah, well, I mean, number one, him and junior say out with the Chargers. But, like, there was a certain extent. Sorry, the Chargers are an L.A. team.

I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, fuck you. Shall we talk about the Clippers? By the way, they were in San Diego at the time. Yeah. And he got drafted by the Clippers and the Padres. He's the only guy to be drafted by two San Diego teams at the same time. Yeah.

Yeah. Sorry, you were going to say. Yeah. Part of, you know, he was obviously, you know, a hero in San Diego. and like I understood that he was you know a you know all-star level baseball player but there's kind of this for me anyway and I think for other other people like me who aren't hardcore sports fans

but like paid attention to baseball a little bit yeah there's kind of this assumption that like well you know yes he's our hero but we're San Diego and like, you know, we're like, you know, a second tier market on a good year, you know? Right, yeah, you guys are never going to, like, win a World Series kind of show.

Yeah, like, we're going to make it to the World Series. You're going to make it to the Super Bowl. Yeah, we're never going to bring. Yeah, we're never going to get a ring, though. Right. Because, like, that's just not allowed. Right. The universe is just like, no, you're, no, you're not going to get that.

Yeah. So now hearing that no, as a matter of fact, he was a freak of nature is a revelation. And I kind of regret that I didn't know that sooner. Yeah. Yeah. I found the quote that I was looking for for Greg Maddox. Greg Maddox famously, he said, no hitter can tell the difference in speed of different pitches. Except that goddamn Tony Gwyn.

That's son of a bitch. Just, when you can, like, rattle a guy whose nickname is the fucking mad dog. Yeah. Like, yeah, it's,

it's, goddamn. That's funny. I think also he never, uh, yeah, he, he never had more than three hitless games.

Um, and, uh, and, and, and I think he never went more than 11 at bats without getting a, base hit or something like that or it might have been in this period of time stretch. Like in five years he never went more than 11 at bats without getting a hit.

Yeah. Like just insane shit, right? Yeah. Okay. But that pales in comparison to this last one. Okay. And this is until 2002. So history has changed.

It's been four years. Until 2002, the Seattle Mariners, another of your possible favorite teams, given where you've lived. Yeah. Yeah. Not even anybody in Seattle thinks of them as their favorite. But until 2002, the Seattle Mariners had more players who suffered from a ruptured testicle injury during a baseball game than they had ever as a franchise reached the playoffs. That's until four years ago, until 2022.

Yeah. Sorry if I said 2002. 2002. They had more players who had suffered ruptured testicle injuries during baseball games. than they had ever reached the playoffs. They finally ended up in the playoffs a fifth time that year in 22. Okay, wait. Which tied their record.

They've had, hold on. Hold on. Yeah, once I get you the number, you're like, what? What the fuck? Five people. Yes. Have specifically suffered ruptured testicles. Yes.

Okay. So they finally caught up to that record Yeah, boy And what a record that is Wow, so is that Like, and now I have questions Sure.

I'm not sure that I want to know the answers But like I've seen somebody You know, you see clips And in a little league game I've actually seen somebody get beamed by a hit Oh sure So like is, is that? that what we're talking about?

Or like how? No, one was a third baseman caught one just coming right down the line. Line drive to the Jones. Another was a collision. So your partner's cleats catch you in the groin. Yeah. Another was, I think he crashed into a wall or something or like straddled a fence or something. Oh, okay.

And the others I think were hit by pitch or hit by a ball in play. Yeah. Oh, God. I love baseball. Oh. So, so yesterday, I wound up taking Robert out into the backyard, and we were sword fighting. Uh-huh. And I got for my students at school to teach a basic long sword fencing class as a home room thing.

Right? I got, yeah, I got padded training longswords. And, you know, I brought two of them home. And I was like, hey, we can now, you know, you and I can sort fight. And I don't need to worry about you, you know, catching me with your rubber, you know, master sword, which hurts like a bitch when it hits. And so I said, here, you know, we'll go out. And we were, and we were swinging them and, you know, sparring and having fun. And he glanced.

Like, he didn't even solidly catch me. Right. In the pills. Yeah. He glanced across the pills. And I was rendered speechless. Yep. You know, I had to stand there and just, you know, do that laugh.

Mm-hmm. That's that, like, it's not. Yeah. You know, and like, it's simultaneously funny and really not. Yeah. And he was like, Daddy, are you okay? Yeah, I'll be all right. We'll be.

I'll be okay. Yep. I'll be okay. Yeah. And like that was the most painful thing that's happened to me in months. Sure. I cannot conceive of being hit by a major league baseball. Yep.

Oh. Oh. Yeah. Oh, that's awful. All right. And they'd have. that happened more times than they'd make it to the playoffs right they finally tied that record in 2002 they matched it yeah let's actually i think this year just last year i think they actually made it to

the to the playoffs as well okay well i was going to say i hope they i hope they surpassed the playoffs part before before the testicle rupture part because i don't want to wish that on anybody wow yeah okay all right uh so how about top five insults okay I can do this one cool all right you want to start us off then number five yeah yeah number five I'm gonna kind of split the difference between two of them because I think they're they're in the same category one of them I think is funnier mm-hmm but but they both they both kind of kind of hit the same same zone and it is shit ass or ass butt oh I know ass but I know where that's yeah yeah yeah

ass but is of course supernatural yep and there's something both of them have a vulgar kind of poetic effect to them you know

I think I think shit ass is is more violent yeah in a way verbally um you know

and And it evokes a picture of, you know, unwashedness. There's there's kind of, there's an ignorance kind of level involved going on there. And and ass butt is very clearly. And of course, the context in the show is exactly this. It is, I'm very angry and I need an insult to throw, but I don't know enough about bad vocabulary or dirty vocabulary to really make it cutting. Yeah, I think shit ass is for someone who is very angry and ignorant, potentially,

or they're so angry that they're losing control of their vocabulary. That's probably what it is. Right. Ask but is somebody who's new to swearing. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So that's my number five.

Okay. Mine is, I admire your commitment to your current level of knowledge. Oh, that's, that's a, that one has a fuse. Oh, it does. I love that. Yeah. That's so good. Yeah.

That will be in an email. Yeah. At some point with an administrator. Yeah. I was going to say, yeah, that's, that's one, that's one you include in the, I'm going to make this sound very professional. and you're not going to realize I'm telling you to fuck all the way off. Well, and on top of that, I mean, you're going to use AI and it's going to think that I, you know, was just being kind.

Yeah. All right. What's your next one? I love it. This one, this one I appreciate for its cutting ability and the context in which I learn. of it being used. And it is medium talent. Oh, you've talked about that one from the get-go.

Yeah, you know, like, yeah. Yeah, and, you know, anybody who doesn't remember or hasn't heard, you know, me talk about this story before. I love the way this plays out according to the lore. Chevy Chase had been on SNL for its first season. And Hollywood had, for whatever reason, decided he was, he was the shining star. He was the one that were going to, you know, make into a big movie star. He was the next McLean Stevenson.

Yeah. Oh. Yeah. So he left and Bill Murray wound up joining the cast in the second season. Right. And Chevy came back and was like spent the whole week. He was hosting the show and he spent the whole week just being a condescending prick to everybody. just being an asshole

and everybody was pissed off at him and everybody and he apparently particularly said some really nasty sexist cutting shit to I want to say it was Jane Curtin yeah and Bill Murray not doing drugs

yeah and and you know and like Akroyd and Balushi you know had had were buddies and they didn't want to confront him on it. And Murray was like, you know what? I'll be the bad guy.

And it apparently descended into a fist fight backstage right before a curtain. And as they were being separated, Murray was shouting apparently with a smile on his face, medium talent, medium talent. And there's just something so vicious. Yeah. Well, because you're hitting him where it hurts. Yeah. And it's not, it's not something that, like, you can easily shrug off.

Like, you can't go, well, you know, he's calling me a no talent hack. I know I'm not a no talent. Yeah, I know I've got jobs. It's like, no, no, you have talent, but you're mid. Yeah, you hit me with an insult of degree. Yeah. That I cannot just create as unassailable. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Love it. I, chef's kiss. It's brilliant. Yeah. How about you?

Next. So, uh, you have the body of a milk bag. Oh. Oh. Damn. This is the first of two that are from Jim Cornette.

Holy shit. Yeah. That's hurtful. So hurtful. That is so. Yeah. Wow. Again, he's the one who, like, I will text my friend who's an English teacher.

All of the different, like, weird shit that he says, you know, like, I want to know who's fucking the dog. And I also want to know who's holding its head, like, or who's just holding its head, like, which is just crazy. But, yeah, it's the same idea. Same kind of thing. So, yeah, you have the body of a milk bag. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

All right. What's your next one? Okay. So when I was jotting these down, thinking about, you know, insults. The, the, kind of

the majority of mine are, are not phrases. They're, they're just like, you know, vituperative

kind of words. Sure. And, pig fucker. Oh, that's a good one. Pigfucker. And again,

there's a context involved in it for me. Mm-hmm. Because the first time I ever heard anybody use this particular one, it was a combination

combination of words I had never heard anybody say before, was in, let's see, that would have been 1996 in the computer lab that I was working at, at Davis as well as an undergrad. And it was when a couple of the other guys had found, if not the first, one of the first South Park shorts. Yes. and it was Jesus versus Santa Claus

Yeah so this is the first one and it was made as a Christmas card cartoon for George Clooney as the story went Okay got it but yes Pigfucker is is yeah dude don't say pig fucker in front of Jesus Yeah yeah like and and it is so at the time anyway Because the world has moved on and this is relatively Yeah relatively tame now but at the time oh yeah It's a it's they're supposed to be what eight years old.

Yes, they're eight year olds. It's it's an eight year old using the F word. Yeah. The the name calling you are a fucker version of the F word and involving beastiality with a pig. Yeah. No, it is it is top tier shit like like transgressive all the way. Yeah. And then immediately with another kid responding using same.

word telling him you can't say that in front of Jesus right yeah it it was it was a vista being opened up yes yeah you know this is before they got cartoon deal with comedy central yeah as long before that yeah this this was this was just just genuinely we're going to be as crude and transgressive as we could possibly fucking yeah yeah so So that's for its place in insult history. That's my number three. I like it. All right.

Here's my number three. If it was raining soup, he'd be outside with a fork. Okay. That's, I love the down hominess. Yeah, it's Jim Cornett. Of that, yeah. Again, yeah. Be outside with a fork.

there's there's there's there's there's there's there's that's that's wow yeah see jim cornett's also the one who who he was talking about his uncle he's like you know my uncle was such a good lawyer he got arrested for sodomy but he talked him down to tailgating it's just he just oh god i love jim yeah that's good yeah that's that's funny that's i like that yeah yeah All right, what do you got? All right, my number two, my number two, my number two and my number one are both Shakespeare. And so they don't have, and remarkably, they're Shakespeare that don't have the level of vulgarity that the others on my list have. But thou three-inch fool.

Oh. From Taming of the Shrew. Oh, tell me Kate said this. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's my girl. So, so, yeah.

So like height, insult, blatantly calling somebody a fool and the double entendre of calling you, you know. Small peen. Yeah. You know, a small peen hammer. Yeah. And, and, you know, delivered, you know, like, their different actresses have brought a different kind of energy to the role of Kate.

Mm-hmm. But, um, Merrill Streep's version. Oh, I've never seen that one. I've seen Emma Thompson's version. Emma Thompson, Emma Thompson is great,

but, uh, in Taming of the Shrew, um, Merrill Streep and Roald Julia. Oh, wow. Played against each other as Kate and Patruchio. And it is, is, it is, it's wizardry.

Yeah. Like absolutely amazing. And yeah, and the delivery, the, you know, what with my tongue and your tail, that whole back and forth between the two of them. It's, it's, it's a legend. Yeah. Like words fail. They're, they're incandescent with each other.

It's amazing. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's great. So, yeah. So, yeah, now three inch fool. Okay. It's simple, but when delivered by anybody who knows what they're doing, it's devastating and hilarious and wonderful. So, yeah.

I put into the chat what I expected your one or two to be. Okay, hold on. Let me take a look. See, I don't consider that an insult. That's a diet. That's just a descriptor. Yeah. That sounds.

But we can talk about it in a sec. Yeah. So what's your next one? my next one is I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you now honorable mention alongside this one is yeah I'd agree with you but we'd both be wrong I love that that's good that's the one that I would actually use in a meeting but the I have neither the time or the crayons is one that I want to use but I won't yeah yeah there you go that's that's one of you use you know your last two weeks on the job yeah the the because the

thing is the crayons one is overtly condescending. Yes. Yes. It is overtly you're fucking, you are a moron. Yeah. Is that one. The other one I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong is not as much a directed, you're a fucking idiot. It's a, it's a, like, right now, you are incorrect. Yeah. You know, it's still condescending. Yeah. Which, I mean, it's an insult.

so yeah. But it's all folksy condescending instead of. Yeah. I mean, folksy can be fucking brutal, but, you know, but, but it's,

it's, it's gentler. Yes. Would be my way of putting it. So the, the one that you, you thought was going to be number two or number one on my list

was insufficient personality. Yes. Which, which is a favorite phrase of mind to refer to a whole host of pathologies. Sure. But again,

And like I said a second ago, I don't consider that an insult. Right. That's that's me being clinical when I talk about what's wrong with someone. Okay. Fair, fair. And so, I mean, certainly anybody who heard me say that about them would be insulted. Right. But I'm not, I'm not, when I say that, that's not me trying to be hurtful.

That's me just saying this person is, it has a yawning. chasm somewhere where a personality ought to be. Right. There's an insufficiency there. Yeah. So to me, it's just a statement of like, this is the problem. No, my number one for this list tonight, thinking about it, is I pray we may be better strangers. Oh, I like that.

Because, you know, at first it sounds very, you know, I pray we may be better and then, you know, the last, I pray me may be better strangers. just like fuck off. Right. Go away. Yeah. So yeah, that's again, it's Shakespeare. Again, it manages to be Shakespeare that is not overtly vulgar, which he did boy. Plenty.

Yeah. Yeah. He knew how to throw scatological matter for sure. But I like his insults when they are, when they are wittier. and I don't necessarily want to say subtle because I don't think this one is subtle at all but they're a little bit more elevated. Yeah, they take you investing in listening to the person.

Yeah, you got to pay attention. Yeah. Yeah. All right, my final one is sharp as a marble. I use that one all the fucking time. That I love the picture of that one. I use, you know, not exactly the sharpest marble of the knife drawer.

Yeah. Which, yeah. Or not the sharpest peanut in the turd. No. Okay. I'd never heard that one before. I don't use that one in public. But I do use sharp as a marble quite frequently in public.

Yeah. Yeah. So. Oh. Yeah, those are good. Oh, yeah. All right. So I'll close with this one because I don't think you've done this one either.

Top five dumbest laws. Yeah. No, I haven't. had time to research that one. So yeah, go for it. This one is just cities in the United States. Okay. Okay. So number five, in Providence, Rhode Island, it is considered an offense. So this is finable. Okay. If you throw pickle juice on a trolley. Now, my question here is, are you on the trolley throwing pickle juice or are you aiming to land said pickle juice on said trolley in question that's an important distinction it really is number one number two

this is this is one of those and i'm guessing there's going to be at least one more on this list that's like this there was a specific incident yes where they're like that son of a bitch he better not do that bad you better not do that again you know um because like I can think of laws that that would that would cover this like you know flinging one of the things I said when I worked as a clerk in the public defender's office one of the things that we'd see you know all the time was people who were incarcerated being charged with assault on an officer or throwing food or you know biological matter at guards or sheriff's deputies or whatever.

And like there's laws that could be applied here, but no, this is specifically pickle juice. Right. Specifically on the trolley. Right. Like if you throw pickle juice at somebody in the street, you know, you're going to get a finger wagging,

but you're not going to have to pay the fine. Right. Well, the thing I can, that I'm thinking about this is that trolleys used to be horse drawn. Could it be. that the smell would so spook the horse in some way that it became as a public danger

or something. Okay, yeah, that could be. I can kind of see that. Okay. Yeah. Now, number four, in Gainesville, Georgia, by law, you must eat a chicken with your hands. You're going to eat

chicken. It must be with your hands by law. Okay. Yeah. this is another one that requires clarification. Right. Do we mean you have to,

you have to use, you can't use utensils? Like you can't use a knife and a fork to be chicken. Because that seems unsanitary to me, depending on how the chicken is prepared. Right. Number one.

I mean, if we're talking about fried chicken, okay, sure, use your hands, whatever. If we're talking about like a roasted chicken, Okay, you can pull the wings off You can pull the drumsticks off You can eat those with your hands But then You know, if we're talking about the thighs

We're talking about, you know, the breast of a chicken It's starting to get gross It's starting to get really messy and unsanitary Like, so do we mean in that? Or like was there somebody who Just like flung their face at their plate? Oh, so the hands would be a step up Yeah.

Or or did somebody like answer a dare or make a bet or something and like try to eat one with their feet? Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Like, good question. Yeah, like what is it you're trying to stop from happening here? What is, again, this sounds like something that, okay, well, that bastard better not do that again. Right. That was, that was beyond the pale. So like when we say you have to eat it with your hands

What do we mean? And what is it what is you trying to stop people from doing by making that rule? So yeah, that is that that's that is dumb that is way overly specific and it leaves me with more questions than answers. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. In South Bend, Indiana. Okay. A monkey was once tried, convicted, and sentenced to pay a fine of $25 for smoking.

Oh, plus court costs for smoking. Now, that's not the weird part, believe it or not. The weird part was the next year it became illegal in South Bend, Indiana, to make a monkey smoke a cigarette. Okay. So, I mean, at least they're trying to decriminalize certain things. Okay, well, okay. Because now it's not being blamed on the non-sensient creature that has no access to currency. Yeah.

You're getting at the root cause. Yeah. I feel like there's a, we're witnessing legal evolution happening in real time here. Because like, okay, so the law may have been like it did. I'm picturing a situation where it's like, okay, smoking in the street is. is illegal. Right. And some Joker, organ grinder, you know, performer or whatever, had a pet monkey.

And he thought it would be funny like, well, this is a monkey. So, you know, I'm not, I'm, you know, as, as, you know, ha ha, how funny. Right. Because comedy is transgression. I'm going to, you know, train the monkey to smoke a cigarette and I'm going to have him do that on the street in public. And then the authorities are like, well, okay, there was smoking going on in the street. he wasn't the one doing the smoking. We have to charge the monkey.

Yeah. Because, you know, how, otherwise, how are we going to do this? Well, okay, you know, obviously the monkey doesn't have any money. So he's the one paying the fine, you know. Right. Is the intent. But like, and so the following year, it's like, no, you can't make an animal, like, nobody can smoke on the street. So you can't even try to get another primate to do it.

Right. But now we've made a specific law. Yes. Yeah. Which, dumb. But like I can see... Very American jurisprudence, though.

Very, very remarkably, yeah. Yeah. So, all right. Now, this is the one that I found in a bunch of towns throughout the United States, and it was multi-regional, too. Okay. And it's that you can't have a donkey on the second story of a building or above. Now, some of them have qualifications like being more than one exit that would make it allowed.

Like, you can't. can't have it on second story unless there's more than one exit. A bunch of states have actually have a ban on second floor or one exit. Or, yeah, they have a ban on second floor with only one exit or second floor and higher. And many also have a ban on them sleeping in bathtubs. Huh. So just as a corpus. Yeah.

As a corpus of laws, I found that to be an oddly, again, cross-regional. at the same basic times, there must have just been a spate of. The thing I'm thinking of is maybe college dorms, because those kids were up to all kinds of weird shit in the 1870s and 80s. Yeah. So, okay, fraternity pranks, college dormitories,

number one. And when you have an animal like a donkey, you know, you might be, you might look at a donkey and not understand how much damage and possible injury a donkey is capable of causing. Oh yeah, they're brutal creatures. Yeah, you can underestimate just how hard a donkey can kick. Oh, yeah. Or bite.

Yeah, or bite. Yeah. Because it's not as big as a horse. Like if you stand next to a horse, you're going to be like, I really don't want to make this animal mad. Yeah. because this animal, like, this animal's shoulders are near the top of my head. Mm-hmm. Or if you're short like me or above my head.

Like, this is, this is very clearly a large animal. I don't want to make this animal mad because those are very big hooves. You know, a donkey, you can look at a donkey and be like, you know, this is, this is a really, really, really big dog. Right. And you don't understand that, no, the mechanics of the way its legs are. built. And the way its jaw works are such that this could in fact kill somebody. Yeah.

You know, and you don't, you don't look at a donkey and think that it's capable of inflicting mortality unless you, you know, know, know, somehow that it is. Right. And so, yeah, dumb kids doing dumb shit, bringing donkeys up onto the second floor of buildings and, you know, the donkey panics. and huge property damage, serious injuries, you know, and like, okay, well, we've got to try to find a way to prevent this from happening. So, you know, and if somebody does this again, we've got to hold them accountable.

So, you know, we make a law. And this is at a time when there is a lot of urbanization going on. Well, that's if we know that it's happening at that time. I mean, you're making several assumptions. but I'm saying this is one of the ways that it could happen. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah.

No, all of those are very specific. And like I would like to sit down with the attorneys and everybody responsible for writing them to go, okay, look, I want to know why. Right. I'm not, I'm not shaming anybody. I'm just asking why. Yeah. What? Because to us,

100 years later, this is really dumb. Yeah. Like what was so pressing that in like, as many states as they have a springfield, you have laws about donkeys on the second floor. Oh, yeah.

You know, and that's, that's an interesting parallel, too. Well, I made, I don't know that that's a one to one. I know, but yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So, all right. The final, the most bizarre. is that in South Dakota, now this is statewide. This is not a municipal law.

This is not a city ordinance. Okay. Statewide. It is illegal to lay down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. Okay. That's really, again, really specific. Yeah. Not, you know, any kind of.

I thought maybe it was an anti-striking law. Oh, yeah. Okay, that could be. But when did you? You could just get a. them on trespass. Yeah. Like, why?

Yeah. Do you have... I have no dates on this. In your notes. Okay, no dates. That's a bummer. Because that would be useful for trying to explain why that specifically. And I think your, you know, anti-striker, anti-labor theory is a strong one.

Yeah, but again, they can get them on trespass. Well, they, I mean, they could, but, you know, um, lawmakers can can be vindictive and and industrialists even more so sure so you know that's that's a thing so yeah yeah it seems unnecessary yeah but you know fuck them workers yeah so you know or yeah I don't know that's weird. Yeah, that is, that is really, yeah. All right. Yeah.

I mean, I guess that could be a safety thing, but like, don't you just have internal regulations on that? Well, you, I mean, you should have. Sleeping on the job is the regulation. Yeah, you should have regulations. You should have, you should be able to just be like, okay, well, you don't belong here. You need to get to hell out. That's trespass. Right.

Yeah. And, and if it's a, we don't want workers falling asleep on the job, um, why are you criminalizing that that way. Right. That's, yeah, weird. Mm-hmm. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

Well, I think that's it for tonight. Okay. As far as those go. So next time, I challenge you to come up with the top five most interesting historical quotes. Okay. Top five fantasy movies that don't include Tolkien. Damn it. Yeah.

Top five of your favorite some sort of series of books or some sort of universe of books, because I'm going to be doing Star Wars comic books and Star Wars EU characters. Okay. And books in the Star Wars EU. Okay. Then also, so find universes that you like that have, you know, written stuff. Yeah. And then maybe top five moments in history, I think, would be a.

a good one. Okay. And I've also got top five favorite sports players. Okay. So I'll come up with something. Yeah. Oh, and then fantasy weapons, of course. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. So that is my challenge. I've laid down a gauntlet. All right. Cool. I like it. Well, uh, are you reading anything? Uh, watching anything. Watching. What am I, what have I been watching? I'm going to very strongly recommend the pit. Oh. I think I may have recommended it previously, but it's worth recommending again. Okay.

I, and I'll actually recommend this other one because I don't think I recommend this one here. Bridgerton. You have. I have. Okay. Both of them, excellent series, very, very different. But, yeah. As far as, you know, intake of media that isn't, you know, playing a video game blowing up robots, that's most of what I've had going on recently.

So those are going to be my two recommendations. If you want something emotionally complex and kind of heavy, the pit is well worth it. It's an amazing drama. And if you want something sudsier that is lighter and more. fun, Bridgeton is a definite win. So those are my two recommendations. What about you?

I'm going to recommend the book called The Spirit and History of Baseball's Superstitions, Rituals, and Curses, The Magical Game by Addy Baird. So I love, again, I love baseball facts. I love historical baseball stuff. So it was either that or a book on bare-knuckle boxing. Okay. Nice.

There you go. All right. Well, where can they find us? We can be found on our website at wauwobo-wababwoba.giquehistorytime.com. We can also be found on our YouTube channel, which is ever expanding with our archive at YouTube and a geek history of time. Wherever you have found us as a podcast, that's going to be a couple of places, either the Apple podcast app, the Amazon podcast app, or on Spotify. Please take the time to give us the five-star review that you know we deserve. and please hit the subscribe button.

And where can you be found, sir? First Friday of every month. So let's say September 4th, October 2nd, November 6th, at the Comedy Spot in Sacramento, I and the rest of the crew for capital punishment will be slinging puns at 9 p.m. on the first Friday of each of those months. So come on down.

Go to saccommodyspot.com. click on the calendars and find our tickets for capital punishment. You will be glad you came. It is a hell of a show, and it's been going for 11 years now. All right. We're in our 11th year. I'm sorry. So there you go.

Well, for a geek history of time, I'm Damien Harmony. And I'm Ed Blaylock. And until next time, Caesar C.V. Verit, Adremum Dereris. I can't believe you tried that.