A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - 7-Eleven vs. AMPM

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

Today, Josh & Nicole are pitting convenient stores against each other for the ultimate snack stop destination. Which one will win out? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best hapice in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Apply. Learn more at mx.ca slash yMex. During the Volvo Fall Experience event, discover exceptional offers and thoughtful design that leaves plenty of room for autumn adventures. And see for yourself how Volvo's legendary safety brings peace of mind to every crisp morning commute. This September, lease a 2026 XE90 plug-in hybrid from $599 biweekly at 3.99% during the Volvo Fall Experience event.

Condition supply, visit your local Volvo retailer, or go to explorevolvo.com. Hey, can I, uh, get $25 on Pump 3? Sure. Would you also like a croissant, a hot dog, a hamburger, and a donut while you wait? Yeah, can I get some $8 novelty sunglasses as well? I didn't say that. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Cetchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast to Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host Josh Cher. And I'm your host, Nicole Inniati. And from here on out, we will only be wearing clothing items that have been sourced from some sort of convenient store attached to a gas station.

I have never... Oh, Buckeys? Not only Buckeys. You can, like, go into like, some A.m.s and 7-Elevens will have a random t-shirt rack. Oh, are you for real? Dude, I was in one in Burbank, and they had... They were selling T-shirts for the local high school. You could buy some John Burroughs High School T-shirts.

That's like Hikey awesome. I almost bought one, but I thought it would be, I don't know, kind of weird. I don't know. Does a school get any money? I don't know. I don't know the relationship. Interesting. But the point is, we are talking all about convenience store foods today.

We are pitting the two, I don't know about biggest. The biggest for me growing up, convenience stores in America. 7-Eleven has about 9,000 locations. AMPM. Only about 1,200 locations. Yes, I did see that as well in my research. And AMPM is not international. 7-Eleven is very international.

They're actually owned by a Japanese company now. This happened recently, right? This happened relatively recently, yeah, yeah. And there's a whole thing with, like, the Japanese corporate. Because if you go to 7-Eleven in Japan... I've been. Oh, you've been. Tell me about it.

Oh, it's awesome. I mean, like, they're, first of all, wonderful. The vibe is wonderful when you go in. And they have, it's smaller than your average 7-Eleven. They have rows and rows and rows upon drinks. That's the first thing I noticed. The sheer volume of beverages that they have is staggering to like their food. Now, their food is beautiful.

When I tell you that they have the best egg salad sandwiches, they have onigiti stuffed with whatever your heart could desire, everything from umaboshi to a spicy mayo salmon situation. Gosh, they have, they even have like hot drinks. which I love, in cans. So they have a section where it's like hot coffee or hot tea drinks. In cans? In cans, just sitting there on a warmer.

Wow, they really are living in 3025, man. It was great. It was great. I love it. And I can't wait to go back to Japan and eat an exiled sando. Well, we ain't got no Japanese 711. But didn't they, did a 7-Eleven try to bring Japanese-style sandals over? They did. So what's going on right now with 7-Eleven is a lot of them in America.

America, Ray Kroc actually, I believe, like pioneered. the franchise system. Sure. In the same way that like Henry Ford didn't invent the car, but he sort of like invented the, what is it called? The, oh my God, I'm so dumb. Wheel. No, no, no, you don't know what I'm talking about. Assembly line.

Okay, yes. Henry Ford invented the assembly line, not the car. That was what I'm going to say after wheel. Ray Crock didn't invent Fassoo, but he invented like the modern franchise systems we know it. So like individual people, operators, families, groups will own a lot of 7-Elevens or a single store. Right. And then it's hard for corporate to kind of like make big changes because you get most convenient store owners in America. Like we make money off of cigarettes and, you know, random booze and random booze and buzz balls and lot of tickets.

And so it's tough to get like a lot of the food items. But I know 7-Eleven is really trying. AMPM and the other hand, full disclosure, we have worked with AMPM as a brand partner in the past. And they've been great. And I, again, I love convenience store food. Is this Timgis? A.M.P.M. is tombgis. This is a...

Too much good stuff. It's an acronym for too much good stuff. Although, yes, it is an acronym and not in initialism. It is not in it... People assume it's initialismism. But it is pronounced too much. So it is an acronym. If it was TMGS, it would be an initialism.

An initialism. Initialism. So like NFL is an initialism, but not an acronym. Because you don't say niffle. You don't say niffle. But FIFA is an acronym because you say it. You don't say FIFA. Correct.

Okay, I love how much I learned just by sitting here and absorbing information. I love that we got these nachos staring us in the face. Okay, go, go for the nachos. AMPM nachos. We're going to be comparing different foods from 7.11 and AMPM. Now, we tried to match them up as much as we could. We really tried. One of the fascinating things about 711 is their main source of heating.

They have the boxes. Right. They have the hot boxes where they bake pizzas. They put them in the hot boxes with wings and mini tacos. The mini tacos are good. Do you like that? They're not my favorite. What I love at 711, we don't.

don't have a representative here today because AMPM can't match it are their tequitos anything on the roller is it on the roller because the hot dog roller is the only main heating source inside of 7-11 so they have to turn all their foods and now they've tubed a lot of foods that's smart keto's already a tube so someone who came up with that too was like hey tequito's like great what else you got and they're like ah we can make a hamburger shaped like a hot dog and like uh okay what else we can make a chicken nugget shaped like a hot dog and they've done all of those Yeah, and do you like those? I do.

I never reach for them. Oh, the Buffalo Chicken Roller, that was my favorite. Cheeseburger Big Bite. It was just a cheeseburger log. Big bite, isn't that a hot dog? Well, so, yes, the Big Bite is the official name of the 7-11 hot dog. Oh, I see. But the Cheeseburger Bigbite was a log of burger meat with little pockets of cheese in it.

Oh, God. Was it served in a bun? It was the craziest thing is it was always very unclear when you ordered. The Cheeseburger Big Bite was generally served in a bun. but you'd order a buffalo chicken roller and they'd just like put it in a bag and I'd be like hey I think that's supposed to be in a bun

and they're like is it but there's breading on it and I'm like well yeah but it's like a fried chicken sandwich and then they'd be like would you put a tequito in a bun? I was like well no you were having these full existential conversations with the convenience store owners I don't think they were an owner

I think they were just an employee but yeah this is how I spend my time honestly if that makes life worth living for you. I'm so happy that you have such accessible outlets, honestly. Some people are like, I want to travel the world. I want to cure cancer one day. Josh is like I want to chat up my local employee

from 7-Eleven. And you know what good for you? Finding joy in the mundane little things is honestly what keeps you going. That's good because earlier today I was trying to find joy in the mundane things and I was trying to tell you a story about the frozen parogis that I grew up eating in a child and Nicole just goes, you yap so much.

I was like, we host a podcast together for five years. Can I tell you why? It's because every time we were doing something. Every time we would stop doing it, you would say something. Like, you would just start talking about, like, limone chips and how they're more curated to the Latinx apart. And then you would be like, oh, I used to eat these potatoes of Brian all the time. Like, every time we're going on.

And just like, shut up. Just exist in silence. It's comfortable. We've been doing this for five years. You should be comfortable being silent next to me for like five minutes. at home. I'm chatting up myself. I'm flirting with myself. I'm out here throwing game. If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you're going to

love anybody else? Eat, Bubla. You're hungry? Eat the damn nachos. Okay, so we're going to... Acting like I'm taking the chip out your mouth. Shit. So, why did you do that? There was too much nacho cheese.

So the AMPM cheese, I'll say this. It seems a lot more, it seems a lot less... I don't I don't even want to say. The nacho cheese on the AMPM is less glossy. It's more globular. Yeah.

I'll say that. What were you going to say? I don't know. I was looking at the shine factor of the... It looks oddly thick. It's oddly thick and strangely enticing. Check out. It's the blizzard test.

If you can turn the chip upside out of the jalapeno on it, that means the cheese is thick. Now is that a good thing. Am I going to get bodilism from this? Now what Nicole's referencing is, the last known botulism death in the United States was indeed from convenience store nacho cheese. Bottoms up. Like, what does that do?

What's the point of that? What I mean? I don't get it. Called pinchos. Little bites? In the Basque. I just followed a whole hot menu. Go like this.

In the Basque country, they call these... In the Basque country, they call these pinchos. Yeah. Or tapath in Barcelona. Okay. But in America, we take liquid cheese, Casso Likido, uh-huh.

Have your Espaniel. And then we put these little pickled local chili peppers. You might have a white boy speaks a little. Spanish? I don't. Okay. Okay. So whenever I sent out a runner to go get these and they said,

Hey, man, sorry, they didn't have a lot of cheese at the 7-Eleven. And I'm like, hey. Yeah, that happens. Which do I like? Ooh. There's a level of a city. tang and heat in this nacho that I wasn't anticipating

in the 7-11 one. Now, have you ever earnestly gotten a tray of nachos? What do you mean now? I thought you were a gourmet. I thought you were a gourmet. I thought you were a flaneuze about town. I'm just a dilettante. Is it dilettante? Dilatant. I'm just a... I'm your average

dilatant. Contrarian dilatant. Now, I am not. I am a true patron of the art, so I'm going to Lick the nacho cheese. Okay, I've calibrated the taste off that, and I'm going to wipe it off of this. Interesting. I feel like the AMPM nachos, the cheese is a much more violent shade of orange.

Yeah. However, does not have the same amount of taste. There is literally, there is a reciprocal relationship between color and taste. 40% more colorful, 40% less flavorful. In this experiment. in this experiment. It's like whenever you get a burger and they say American cheese and then it's orange.

Yeah. And like you expect it to be orange, but like on the off chance they have like a slice of white American. You're like, oh, what is this? This is not going to taste the same. You know it's the same as that composition. Now there is also, so at these locations, there are two spouts attached to pressurized hoses. One filled with nach cheese, the other filled with chili. Now you can run, you can open the bag of chips in the store.

And Nicole, typically you would run it under either of those for as long as you want. Either? Either. But now what I do is I will get a cheeseburger big bite, I'll get a hot dog, I'll get whatever, I'll get tequitos. And sometimes you get a little bag of tequitos and you run that under the chili spout. And the chili spout goes spits chili on your tequitos. And you put those in the bag and you kind of massage the chili into them. Oh, yum.

Because sometimes the tequitos, they get hard. They're open air. They're sitting there for a while. They're open air? They're open air. There's a glass case over them. There's a glass case over them. You know what I mean?

It's an air friar. It's an air friar. But they're slowly losing moisture. They're desicating over time. So you need to re-moisten them with chili. Okay. And the cadence at which the chili comes out, it is quite unnerving because it goes, eh, eh. The chili eat machine at a 7-Eleven wretches chili harm your food.

How does the nacho cheese come out? It's like a thin, it's like a stream. But the chili, there's chunks of meat, right? Aiken to butter you would get at an AMC? Yes, correct. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. So a thin stream of consistent nach cheese just versus absolute sharts of chili.

I'm sorry we didn't put chili on these. Oh, that's okay. You're okay with that? Winter 7-11 on the nachos, for sure. For sure, for sure. We got to go hot dog, right? Stick with savory. Yeah, you know, I'm going to have you eat these hot dogs because yet I remind you,

I can't eat these unless they're to a certain temperature. I'm so good. I will eat the microplastics. These are steaming. Oh my God, Josh. Like steam and Willie Beeman. Do you want condiments? Absolutely.

Would you like me to dress? Would you like me to dress? Let me get some jalapinos on there too. I can't do that. What? I can't do the jalapinos. Why is in this opening? Oh my God, it's been steamed together.

Oh my God. Yeah, yeah. Josh, I'm so sorry. What? Josh, I can't do it. Just mash it in the bun. Hey, give it. You're being too gentle with it.

You got to, no, no, you're not clawing hard enough. Check this out. This is 7-11-1? Just got to put your hand in there and really. Oh, my God. Really rip it open. Wow, you really got in there. Just kind of claw that in, and then, boom, hot dog.

That was an art course. This isn't food you can be gentle with. So now what I'm doing. What do you do? Are you torpedoing? I've put plenty of ketchup and mustard on the hot dog in the bun, but what I'm doing is I'm now swirling the hot dog around. This is called Josh's Spock. Special torpedo underdog

hot dog maneuver. Just try the AMPM. The AMPM now braided bun. I don't like that because it thinks it's better than me. I come in here with a braided bun of me and the hot dog from a gas station. Also, Arco generally like... Can you open this mustard? I've been

struggling for an hour. Open the f***k mustard. That's a good hot dog. It's a good hot dog? Is it all beef? I don't feel like there was a bone in there. I think it's an all beef hot dog I opened the mustard I didn't need your help

or anybody I don't think you're gonna try the hot dog plane just got a hot dog I'm not gonna do your cyclone roll around but you can do it I don't think there's a natural casing

on the AMBM oh my God it's not a particularly unnatural well the bun is the bun looks like a before photo of someone getting a facelift yeah so what it happened

is they put a whole bun inside of a bag Now, if you just go to the store and you don't get it to go, they don't put it inside the back. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Are you okay? There's a sign on this that says buns, hot dogs in warmer four hours? Oh, what does that mean? I think you have to use it.

Oh, you have to eat it before 10, 12 a.m. Or else you'll get sick and die. Josh. If I die, and I don't think that I will, I want it to be a hot dog related I also want it to be because I negated the warnings of a very clear sign that said like don't eat this hot dog and then slow paying it over to me and I got a hot dog

in my mouth well so you were supposed to use this by 1012 when we're recording this at dog for dog here now you see a much pinker color on the 7-11 Big Bite again this is a big play in the hot dog game. You think it's the nitrate. It's the nitrate salt, the pink salt, the prod powder.

Uh-huh. You know? But over here at AMPM, it's a little bit thinner, a little bit shorter. Can you face the hot dogs towards me? Look into the face of death. I will say, the one on top is 7-Eleven? Yeah. The one on top has a coarser grind.

A coarser, do you feel it more snappy? Which is snappier? But the AMPM is actually snappier. Oh, because it's finer? I feel like the AMPM has been emulsified with more extra ingredients. Okay, okay. Fair, fair, fair. I don't think I like a course ground hot dog

Okay The AMPM hot dog is a better hot dog Okay All around All around Okay So there's definitely less meat in it But it's a better hot dog eating experience

And that's what I'm here ever When people talk about 100% beef hot dog I go I don't care what percentage of which animals you're using As long as you create the best tasting squishy meat tube That I can put inside of a bun I don't care if that animal's about to go extinct

Sure well I would care If the animal is going to go extinct Oh, I care about the extinct. No, make me a good hot dog. If it's a Galapagos tortoise that's going to make the best meat tube, put that in my bun. You done grandstanding? You done? You done grandstanding about hot swogs?

Are you? We've had the most fun day. We've been together all day today. Yeah, we haven't left each other's size. I miss these days. I know. We have been in each other's, like, vicinity all day today. So we're a little wacky, sorry about that.

I'm going to a nice dinner tonight. Yeah, where? Huh? Where? Going down to major demo. Oh, my God. I have some. Oh, yeah.

You told me about this. So I can't spoil my appetite. Oh. Did you have like three pieces of Elpoa loco too right now? Four. Okay. All right, four pieces of Elpoiloco. You eat so much.

I love it. I did leg day today. You dessert. Okay, so. Thank you. Okay, you push. I had no idea, like, whenever you work out, how heavy your legs. are. You know what I mean? Like, they're half of your body, but there's so much weight and

like bone and muscle down there. You know what I mean? What did you think was down there instead of bone and muscle jelly? Bola jelly? No. But like, you know what I mean? Like, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop eating. The jalapeno's are a palate cleanser in between hot dogs. Okay, good. Whatever makes you happy. So AMPN wins the hot dog races. Good job AMPN. Which I will say is a huge upset because 7-11, Big Buy Hot Dog. I will say, I think it's slightly. too big. They also have the AMPM has a Tapatio hot dog. That's really good. Tapitio hot dog's good. I just kind of want the flavor of my hot dog to be a hot dog. I'll put tapatio on my hot dog. I appreciate the addition of tapatio. It makes it like a spicy

chorizo sausage flavor. It tastes like, do you ever have a brand called Tijuana Mama pickled sausage? Yes, I have. Yo, that's for real sickos out there. I love that stuff. What else do you want me to eat? You want to take a break? Do you need a break? I think of three

three minute intermission You can get Protein at home Or a protein latte at Tim's No powders No blenders No shakers Starting at 17 grams per medium latte

Tim's new protein lattes Protein without all the work At participating restaurants in Canada Oh you know what we can talk about I feel like I should address my hair. Oh, sure. So, like half of the people aren't watching this. They're listening.

Well, it's a fair point. So for the people listening, I look like an asshole. No, you don't. He's trying. So for all of you that are not watching, he's trying out a new hairstyle. He's figuring it out. He's figuring out his sense of style. And he decided his barber recommended.

Oscar. His crestfallen barber. Oscar. Recommended. Hey, you have a great hair. let's try something new and Josh saw that he was a little bit sad and you know Josh likes to make people happy and he said yeah let's do it and then Josh is basically rocking a pompadour of sorts kind of a half pompadour half slickback no part pompadour half slick back no part the sides are a little

shorter than than you would anticipate and I think in like four days it'll look really good you know what I mean well so it goes I goes to my barber right and and Oscar looks at me barber, right? Oscar looks at me. It's a nice old time and kind of barbershop. Family on business. Been going on for five years. Love him to death. And Oscar just goes, the usual. And I was like, what's strong? I'm so strong. Oscar, you don't want me to get

the usual? And he just goes, I don't know. You could try something different. And meanwhile, Oscar's trying a different hair. So I think he's going through something in his life. Yeah. You know, his new hair looks great. He's got the kind of like fashion mullet, but he's got curly hair. And so I was like, listen, Oscar, if you had my hair, how would you wear it? And a smile

broke out upon Oscar's face. and he said I would slick back but give it a little volume because I can't do that because my hair is really curly so I think you should do it and I was like make me your canvas Oscar

okay and then he did it and so I am doing this to honor my barber because he's been a good dude for the last like five years I think that's great and hopefully he was also a good dude before that To be fair

every time I go to the hair stylist I always say do whatever you want just make sure you cut off all the death you have necrotic hairs No like you know split ends and stuff I just say hey just chop it all off but do whatever you want in terms of like style

and shape and stuff Love that. This is 7-Eleven coffee. Oh, I drink a lot of this. Yeah? Your coffee order is black two ices, right? Black two ices, but if I'm at a 7-Eleven. Okay.

Now, they have all of the tiny International Delight creamers. I love those. I could drink those all day. I'll rip about seven or eight of those bad boys in there, and I mix and match. I do a couple of Amaretto, a couple Irish coffee, you know, a couple French vinels. Disgusting. So many chemicals. And then six splendos.

Wow. If I'm going to 7-Eleven for the coffee. Well, it's black. This coffee is. black. That's 7-Eleven. Tastes like coffee and make a home. Okay, really? So it's good?

No. Oh, so the coffee you make at home isn't good? Correct. Oh, okay. And then AM-PMs? Those are coffee. Are they both the same? Similar? It's nice. You try. I don't want.

What? You can't drink coffee because of the baby? No, no, it's going to come off as me peer-pressuring you to drink your baby in jeopardy. I'll have a sip. I'll have a sip. Um, 7-Eleven. It feels a little bit more full-body. Don't drink the coffee if you don't want to. I have to sneeze. I thought this was.

I have to sneeze. Hold on. Who is sneeze? This feels like our 50th podcast. You know what I mean? Do you remember Maggie? Like around like the, like our 50-60, like we would be this unhinged. Okay.

I hate black coffee so much. Ugh, should be illegal. AMPM. Okay. nice. Is this a flavored coffee? The AMPM smells flavored. I like the AMPM one more. It's less astringent. It's less astringent.

They're both, like, good? They're both okay. And I'm not like, listen, I drink a lot of coffee. I drink really good coffee, but like sometimes I'll go into, if I get dragged to one of these coffee shops that have like a lavender, cold, oat, topped macha, whatever, right, then I'll just, I'm not going to get a normal black coffee or cold brew, I'll be like, okay, give me one of your V60, pour over

single origin, Ethiopian, whatever. Sure. I've had some of them that I'm just like, this tastes just like super acidic and like really astringent and like watered down. Yeah, I've had that too. And maybe they're right

and I'm completely wrong, but the 7-11 coffee actually like tastes really good. I prefer the AMPM. I think it had a nice I think the lack of astringency is what I'm looking for in like a black coffee. It tastes like there's an extract. There might be. There might be.

Interesting. I'm only to call this a draw. Like, these are... They're both good. They're both black coffees. Ready for donuts? And also both of these places have really invested in upping their coffee programs. Because they are trying to, like, play in that space.

And I think they're, like, seeing the white space with, like, Starbucks kind of focusing less on... Hey, come here for your morning coffee. Yeah. Now, like, 7.11 and AM PM are like, hey, like, and McDonald's. Donald's, frankly, got into that space, too. Right. Now that Starbucks's core business model is, like, I don't know, white women. Yeah, trying to, or kids. Figgins.

You're geared towards, like, high school kids. Kids of all races and ethnicities. Yeah, I agree. So, I have a glazed donut from 7-Eleven, and Josh is unbagging a... I have, like, a Keith Herring painting. Oh, man. No, that's not Keith Herring. That's Jackson Pollock.

Actually, it's more Baskiot. I was going to say Baskiot, not Herring. Because of the sides. You see the sides are more baskiot. So these are both donuts. What we're talking about for people I can't see, we got a chocolate iced sprinkled donut, and it is in a plastic packaging.

The sprinkles have spread themselves along the packaging and created a sort of streaky, almost like dark, fovest colored painting. Are these both cake donuts? No, these are both yeast donuts. 7-Eleven tastes good. 7-Eleven's a good donut. Really good.

The 7-Eleven glazed donut is as good. good as a donut from like your average L.A. Donut star. I agree. AMPM donut. Oh, the texture is completely off. The icing's good. I actually really like the icing on top of the AMPM donut, but the texture of the actual donut's completely off. The MPM donut is, that's a struggle. I think it's because of the way they package it. It's not, though. It's a dough structure thing. You can tell, look at how much denser the crumb is on the AMPM donut versus the 7-11 donut. Uh-huh. 7-Eleven donut. And their pastries, I love how 7-Eleven will add regional specialties.

Like, one of my favorite quirks of L.A. I know what you're going to say. Are 7-Elevens, when you go up to the front, they have something called a Casadilla Salvadoran. Right. Had it many times. It's a Salvadoran, I mean, they call it a cheesecake. It's like a little snack cake with, you know, farmer's cheese baked in there and, like, sesame seeds on top. And it's so good, but it's like such a regional, regionally specific thing. And I always get it.

And they have De La Rosa Massa Pan? Always. Oh, the peanut powder candy. I love that stuff. I love the quesadillas. Are they called quesadillas? Yeah. 7-Eleven wins.

Go 7-Eleven. That was great. And it's time for cookies. AMPM. Josh, say. I've gotten a lot at what? Do you want some cookies? You guys want some cookies?

Shout out to Chris Catan. Come on the show. We want Chris Catan on the show, right? I have met Chris Catan before. You've met Chris Catan? Oh, yeah. I have a photo. Oh, he's a nice man.

Oh, he's one. Wonderful. He's a star. I always, I'll always know him as mango. He'll always be mango to me. So from 7-11, we have the white chocolate macadamia nut. I'm eating the chocolate chunk cookie from A&PM. I don't think I like cookies anymore. It's a weird thing to say. I know. I'm a little weird now. The cookies at A&M, they taste fresh-baked in a way. Oh my God, that's so good.

You know what I mean? This has that, that kind of like, crispy on the bottom. Bottom, soft on the top, kind of chewy and very, very, very sugary, but not in a bad way. The 7-Eleven cookie is a little hard. It's a little tough to get through. But I love, I absolutely love the A.M. P.M. cookies, my goodness. The A.m. cookies have the perspective of, like, a grandmother who's been perfecting her own very quirky recipe for, like, years. You know what I mean? Very good.

And I can see how not everyone would like this A.M.C.m. cookie. It's a little hard. It's a little chewy. That's not that, like, pillowy, fresh-baked cookie, but that's not what I want to have the cookie. That's not what I'm getting out of this. This is like, it tastes homemade. I know. What an incredible way to do it. The 7-11 cookie, it's still very good. The 7-1 cookies, I've always loved the 7-Eleven cookie.

I used to eat a lot of lunch at 7-Eleven when I was dirty bulking in high school to get beefier for shop put. And boy, did it work. Oh. You know, you get like a thing of the Onami brand, California roll. You get three tequitos doused in chili, a cheeseburger, a big bite, and a pack of cookies. Mm-hmm. That's $2,400. calories before a three-hour weight room workout and shot put.

That's what you needed at that time. So I'm very familiar with the 7-11 cookie, especially why chocolate and macadamia, not my favorite cookie, other than oatmeal raisin. You know what it reminds me of? Subway cookies. Yeah, similar. Yeah. Well, shit, does that leave us with a tie?

Yeah. What's the tiebreaker? Maybe we don't need a tiebreaker. Maybe we can just let these two kings of convenience live by themselves. I think we can. We can make that call. I think whoever's jalapenos are spicier wins. Fine, it's a tie.

Well, all right there, Nicole. You and I have to say, I'm burping up jalapenos. Now sound to fight out of the wacky, I do it right out of the universe. Time for the segment we call. Opinions are like casserole. I don't feel good, but I do have four hours until I have to leave for dinner. Okay. So I think if I just do some push-ups, drink a couple of sparkly waters.

Yeah. I think I'll be good. I think so, too. Okay, let's get to it. Oh, boy. Hi, Josh and Nicole. Hi. Hi.

When I made guacamole. Okay. When I lived in New York. Don't know why that's... I'd add something that I cannot do now that I live in Texas. Oh, interesting. But I think it honestly makes the guacamole so much better. So I want to know what you think.

I'm going to say it's peas. Remember when they put guacamole and peas and everyone freaked out? Well, they put peas in the guacamole. That was an interesting... I just said that. You said they put guacamole in the peas. I meant to say peas in the guacamole. Which, that sounds really nice, right?

A little smashed pea avocado. I mean, anything to hide... Dip. Some veggies. I... Maggie, we'll play this in a second. Let me grant him for a second. Josh House is something to say.

I wanted to make a couple of guesses. I was going to say, like, Hugo de Naranha Agria. Oh, yeah. Sour orange juice. Like, I feel like maybe a Dominican thing that you can't find in Texas. That does sound nice in guacamole. But I remember talking to a writer named Bill Esfaza, who was talking about how weird it is.

He, to me, is literally like a taco savant. He knows more about the history of Mexican and all of Latin American food than anyone I've ever met. And he's written, you know, books and produce for TV shows. And he was talking about how weird he thinks it is that people in America specifically fetishized guacamole. And he's like, in Mexico, he's like,

people think, that doesn't go on guac. This doesn't go in guac in America. But in Mexico, like, it's just something that you like have at like a takaria, right? Mm-hmm. It's just, he's like people, some guacamole is just avocado, lime, and salt, and they smear it on their carnassad of tacos.

And he's like, it's weird that in America, it's this like $15 table side of, event, you know, that people have these strong feelings over. Right. And so I thought, I always thought the peas and guacamole thing was like really, really funny. I thought it was funny, too. You know what I mean? Anyways, let's find out. Let's find out. I'm going to say mango. Why can you get mangoes

and... Instead of just doing avocado, like whatever you put in it, instead of doing the lime juice, you smush in a couple of kiwis. But then you eat it with like lime flavored chick. Okay. I really love

the taste of the Kiwis and a I was close. You were close. And I can't do that now that I live in Texas because I live in Texas. But let me know what you think. Wait, wait, wait. She's not, surely Kiwis are available nationwide at this point. Yeah, I think it's more of like a cultural thing. That's a cultural thing. Yeah. Specifically the thing that we're talking about. Yeah. Like weird, diehard, like you can't do this to

walkomoli. Um, I said mango, very similar. Um, I, I'm, I'm having a little bit of trouble tasting it in my mouth, but I can, I can, like, understand it a little bit. I can, I can meet you halfway. I can, I can get there. I can get there. I think the best guacamole I've ever had in my life, you were there. Well, you, but you left. It was an event that, sorry I leave you sometimes. I drank too much. I got to go. I'm so sorry I do that sometimes. No, that's totally fine. I understand it. But it was a chef. I wish I could remember her name, and I'll try and look

it up, but she's from Phoenix, Arizona. And, uh, she made just the best guacamole I've ever had. It was the best guacamole I've ever had. There were pomegranate. Did you eat it? Yeah. You were there for that part. That was before you... Yeah, before I dipped. It was just so perfectly seasoned and proportioned and simple.

It was incredible. And she was like known as making the best cockamole. Yeah. And I was like, okay, let's see how good this. This actually is incredible. It was phenomenal 10 out of 10. She put pomegranate seeds in it. She put it on it.

On it, on it, not in it. Correct. Top to the pomegranate seeds. Probably a garnish. But like, you know, that's not that far from Kiwis. That's not that far. She's from Arizona, very established Mexican food culture. She's Mexican herself.

I'm not against it. I can't taste it right now, but I imagine it's pretty good. And I like the lime chips. I have lime chips on my house all the time, so. I tend to not love fruit in salsas. I hate fruit and salsas. Mango salsa is my biggest op. Yeah, I don't, like I...

Hate. Look at me. Hate. Even in this, this is a crazy thing. I don't love, like, pineapple and apple store. I'm not there for the pineapple. I'm okay with pineapple in alpastore. I would almost rather just have, like,

adobada, which is basically the kind of same thing. I think it's a Tijuana-based term. Okay. Okay. But just give me the delicious spit-roasted pork without the pineapple, and I think I'm having a better time. I understand the theory behind it. Good to cut it through all that fattiness. That's what the salsa is for. Do you? That's what the onions are for. That's cilantro. The limon is for. Lime is the only fruit that I want in my salsas and in my guac. I think. I don't like pineapple salsa. I don't like, do you like it in your savages, like pineapple

Mango Ceviche, things like that. Sometimes it's good. No, man. I want to I'm trying to think. I want to hear more. I want to hear more people's opinions, Maggie. Okay. Sorry, Josh. No, it's okay. Hi, Nicole and Josh. Hi. Just because everyone's

Josh first, Nicole's actually the best. That, oh. I have a really hot thing. I said. I think everyone has different spices growing up in their household. Spices? And I think one spice that I only found, after experiencing a lot of, like, Caucasian cuisine, is celery salt.

Hey. Why is that specifically Caucasian? Oh. Anyways, thank you for listening and let me know your takes. Why is celery salt mainly for people of the caucus? And now we're talking Caucasian, not as in from the foothills of the Caucasus mountains. We're not talking about Central Asians. We're talking about whites.

Most likely, American whites. So this is ground celery seed mixed with salt. I do not know, like, what area in the world would have started doing this. I have no idea. I have no context. All I know is that it's good with the Bloody Mary. That's how I know. I know Bloody Mary's and celery salt go together.

Chicago-style hot dog. They put celery salt on a Chicago dog. Interesting. Oh, it's also reported to be an ingredient in KFC's secret spice mix. Hmm. I do agree. It is a really unique taste. that you cannot get anywhere else.

You can't duplicate it with another spice. I don't know. I grew up in a Caucasian household, right? Yeah. You know, Jewish, but a lot of areas, assimilated to American-likeness in a lot of ways. I grew up in an area in Orange County, though very diverse, there was a lot of sort of assimilation towards whiteness. Most people I know, most whites, the main spices they use are blends. Salt pepper paprika.

Salt pepper paprika, sure, but they're using like Mrs. Dash. They're using McCormick-Montreal steak. They're using packets. of Lowry's taco seasoning. Okay, yes. I don't know a lot of Caucasian Americans that really had a great grasp on how to

use actual raw whole spices. Interesting. Okay. You know what I mean? These are the Caucasian. These are the whites that I grew up with. I don't know. I never really cared or paid attention to spice cabinets in my white friend's houses. How much spices are used in Persian cuisine? Oh my God, so many. Literally, my mom came over

on Saturday, and we cleaned out all of my cabinets, specifically my spice cabinet, though, spent hours organizing my spice cabinet. It was a disaster in there. Like, I had, like, four different kinds of cumin. Did I keep them all? Yeah, I did. But I have, like, there's a lot of spices in Persian cooking, but it's very delicate, I'll

say this, it's an incredibly delicate art form. Yeah, yeah. Like, there's nothing inherently, like, punchy or, like, slap in the face or, like, addictive about it, it's all very balanced. And it takes a steady hand and someone who knows how to cook to be able to cook Persian spices like a Persian person. You know what I think is the ultimate Caucasian spice? Paprika. No. Paprika is a black spice. Oh, really? I firmly believe that. I think paprika's for everybody. I agree that paprika is for everybody. But I don't think that that can be like, I'll tell you what it is, chili powder. Oh, okay. I'd love to hear why. Because if you are

A Mexican cook, cooking Mexican food. Mm-hmm. You are likely never going to use a product simply called chili powder. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah, you're using guahillo, you're using paella, you're using Chipotle. Right? Yeah.

You could use like Chile molido, right? Sure. But the packet, the thing that just says chili powder, unidentified chili, it can be any different kind of color. And Rachel Ray in her cooking show goes, and I love a little bit of heat and puts like an eighth of a teaspoon of chili powder into a whole bowl of soup

that you would never even start to taste that I believe is the whitest spice in the world. I always thought chili powder was meant to flavor chili. And it like is? You know what I mean? Okay. But it's not, it's which again would make it a very white spice.

Got it. Cool. That's what I believe. Wish we could tell you more about celery salt. I mean, maybe I need to buy some. It's, I would like to experiment. with it more. Hi. This is Chris from Bend, Oregon. Hi, Chris. I'm calling for my girlfriend, actually. Whenever she eats a sandwich, she'll eat about half of the sandwich normally, bite by bite, and then she'll pull the sandwich apart and eat every individual component on its own. This is like every sandwich. Like a cheeseburger, she'll be eating the meat patty

and the slice of cheese and the bread and the lettuce all in different pieces. So, she wanted to know if you know that might be wrong with her. Yeah. Have you heard of the show couple's therapy on Paramount Plus, I believe?

Is that where it's that? I don't, yeah. I think it's a showtime show. I mean, I think there's like a plug-in with Paramount that you can watch showtime shows. I started watching it. I think it's just a weird quirk

that your girlfriend has. I don't think there's anything wrong with her. But if you can't really solve this, I recommend going on the couples therapy show with Dr. Orna. She's pretty freaking lit. Big fan of Dr. Orna. She's so level-headed. But she seems to care a lot, but not too much to where she... Which is important. It doesn't like rule her life. Dr. Orna Goralnik. I think... Brilliant woman. If I were to Dr. Orra Goralik, you hear, I would say that it's great to have curiosity about your partner and what they do. but you should never hold that against her.

You shouldn't try and figure out what's wrong with her. You shouldn't love her in spite of her ticks. Things that you may even see as flaws, you should love her because of those. Because you, I'm sure, have equal amounts of ticks and flaws, and you want to be loved for your whole self, not in spite of parts that might be deficient. And then she'd flip her beautiful hair,

and then it's cut to random B-roll of a New York City Street, someone picking out an orange from a market and Dr. Orna just holding on to a subway pole thinking deeply about our clients. I'm a big fan of the show. Do you have a favorite couple on that show? I like Michael and Michal

because Michal's all kinds of crazy. There was a couple that... I also have the trans woman couple. There's one trans woman and one cis woman. I think, yeah, I remember them. I don't know any of them by name, but there was one where they like owned a restaurant together. I think I maybe only looked them up after the fact,

but the guy was just like the worst. Mao. Mow? Oh, boy. A lot of people dislike Mao. Dude, and I would watch it. Mildignant narcissists, I believe is what people say. 100%. Yeah, I would watch that and like try to give, you know, try and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. And no, just like the worst person and the wife just trying to hold it together.

Man, she tried. I heard they got a divorce. Great. I love that. I love that. Anything else, Maggie? One more. Crank that. Meggy one more. Hi, my name is Grace.

I'm a newer fan of this show. And my controversial food opinion that has made many of my friends upset with me is that all foods can be categorized as either a soup, salad, or sandwich. And for the record, casseroles are just hot salads in the same way that pasta salad is a salad. I'm going to let you take this one. I'm going to let you take this one. Should I just tell you random foods and tell me what you? category they go in?

Yeah, of course. Okay, hold on. Let me get a list of foods going on. I will say, I do believe that everything can be categorized into anything. But do they need to be? They need to be. But, but this, right, we've talked about this before. There is no such thing as a fish, right?

Every animal can either be categorized into mammal and the bird and the fish and the lizard, whatever, until you really get the fish and you're like, well, there's a lot of really diverse, crazy things going on here. And the only thing they seem to have in common is that they're kind of, you're kind of of in water, which is a meaningful distinction because very few humans live in water. So for us, we can kind of just go, ah, they're in the water. They'll figure it out the categories themselves, you know? And so we could, of course, create three arbitrary categories to view things in,

but is it meaningful and does it serve our lives? Nicole, give me some foods. Onion rings. Onion rings are a sandwich because the breading on the outside and you eat it with your hands. Buffalo Wing. Buffalo Wing is, again, a sandwich. A taco. Taco is a sandwich.

A California roll. California roll is a sandwich because it is encased on both sides by stars. A scoop of ice cream. Oh, that's the soup. It's a soup that has been frozen, you see. Come on, you know that. A mozzarella stick. Sandwich?

No, I mean like a string cheese. Oh, string cheese. That's a salad. What is he saying? Especially if you string it. An alfajor. Don't say sandwich. Alpha Hore is literally the perfect sandwich cookie.

Asparagus, just a stalk of asparagus. Nicole, you put lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper on that. This is a salad. Of course. A croissant. Sandwich, just a very plain one. A head of cabbage. You know the answer.

A cabbage roll. A cabbage roll. Cabbage roll is also a salad. You're talking about like Golomki? Golopki, yes. Golopki? Yes, I am talking about Golopki?

One of my favorite weeknight dinners to make. Dude, it's a lot of labor. It is a lot of labor. A piece of toast. That's a sandwich. No, it's not. Of course it is.

It's bread. That's what makes sandwich. A date. A date is a salad. Any single produce item is a salad. And on that note, thank you for listening to a hot dog is a sandwich. We got new audio-only episodes every Wednesday and a video version here on YouTube every Sunday.

Diet Coke is soup. We got... I'll see y'all next time. You know where to find us. Bye.