A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - All Cheese Tastes The Same

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

Today, Josh and Nicole enter the lab to test Josh’s most controversial theory yet: does all cheese taste the same??? Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, a hot dog is a Sanders, the show word I say upsetting things. I'm your host Josh Sherer.

I've said so many upsetting things in the past. That will be proven demonstrably false. And I'm Nicole iniety. And I did that thing where I went on a little bit of a rant and said some insane hyperbolic things in a video. Why did you do that? Well, tell you exactly why. So we was doing a video where we made mac and cheese from the dollar store, from dollar store, the dollar tree. We made mac and cheese some dollar tree

and mac and cheese from whole foods ingredients and we tried to buy up as many different cheeses from the dollar tree as we could and so we bought, you know, cheddar and Jack and Colby and Colby Jack and we're like we're doing a four cheese macaroni and cheese. All right?

But then as I was making this, I realized that adding all four of those cheeses together does not change the taste of the cheese. If you add cheddar and Monterey Jack and Colby Jack and Colby, one, the Colby and the Jack, that's just two cheeses right there, But then Monterey Jack and Colby mix of cheddar.

Oh, and we added American too, but to get the sodium citrate, the chemical in there. But all of that sort of just amounts to a mild cheddar. Right? So that got me thinking. That got me thinking. All these cheeses, your Colby's, your Jax's, your mild cheddars. And I'm talking about your sort of grocery store versions of that. Not going to Cabot, Vermont or Leicester in England and getting a cloth-bound cheddar.

No, no, no. I'm talking about your like average run-of-the-mill, weekday sandwich-slice cheese. A Sargento, if you will. A Sargento. And we actually have some here. This is a mixture of Sargento, Tilamook and Lucerne, and then I think even store brand, depending on what was on sale.

Right. But I started thinking about how many of those cheeses taste the same. And so you can get like a mild provolone in that sliced format. And that don't taste like the provolone picante from an Italian deli. But it's not supposed to. But it tastes so similar to your average mild cheddar or Monterey Jack. And that got me thinking. That got me thinking in crazy hyperbolic terms, all cheese tastes the same.

I'm not talking about every single cheese in the world. No, no, no. And I'll get to my actual theory after I prove it to you. Okay. Because right here, Nicole, we have 11 different cheeses. Do we have 11? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. You're so good at counting.

You're better than I am. I have math anxiety. I love that you immediately thought I was lying, though. No, I went to the store to buy these 11 cheeses. I can probably name them off-ripp, too. We have mozzarella, we have provolone, we have mild yellow cheddar and medium white cheddar. Maybe those are flipped. We have Monterey Jack.

We have Havardi. We have Munster. I got a couple wild cards in there. We have Buterkeza. Oh, my gosh. I'm so excited to buy it. Which is so popular from the TikTok, but I'm like, that kind of tastes the same. And then we have a Mexican manchego just to see if, like,

that even can be confused for the other cheeses. Oh, and Colby Jack. Yes. In Colby Jack. If I were to be any cheese, I would be Colby Jack because I'm a Gemini. It's a mix of cheeses. I'd be smoked habanero guda. Because I...

Hard to get. Vakly Dutch-looking and often some... Can't find it nowhere. Unique. This is the most I've to like explore the cheese section a while. You had fun with the cheese monger? I saw a little smoked gutta habanero thing in there, that looks really fun.

I was talking to the cheesemonger about their Buterkeza shortage because all the kids have been buying it from TikTok. We did a TikTok video where I shoved Butcherkeza into a sweet potato, and they legit had trouble stocking Butcherkeza. Do you want me to wear a blindfold now? I think you should go first. I think you should try all these cheeses, blindfolded, and then we see how many you can get right.

How confident are you? Do you resonate with what I'm talking about? I eat cheese all day, every day. It's like my job, mother effer. Do you know, I know people, who were like, ooh, I love a turkey sandwich, but it's got to be Munster. And I'm like, can you tell the difference between Munster and all of the other sliced cheeses out there? Can I tell you why?

I love mustard cheese, but I love all these equally. I don't love them equally. The Munster has a certain, like, a nutty funk and a creamy texture that only Monster can have. Sure, man. Maybe. Okay, let me know when you're going to feed me. Okay, I'm putting my blindfold on just to have as well. You know, and this doesn't work.

You're using something sharpness. We got Logan, can you record results? Yes. All right. Nicole, first cheese coming in. All right. Okay. Nicole is eating Colby Jack. Nicole is eating the cheese.

Kind of like how a camel intakes vegetables. What are you tasting? My problem is... My problem is I consider myself to be a supertaster. Yes. I have a really knowledgeable food brain and a really knowledgeable mouth. But when my eyes are closed, it's really hard. I'm going to say that...

That's like... We're using the phrase tastes the same. Okay. I'm going to say, that was either provolone or Colby Jack. Either provolone or Colby Jack. Do you want to lock in an answer? Provalon.

All right, provalone. Should I tell Nicole if she was right or wrong? Nicole, that was not provolone. Okay, don't tell me what it was. I'm not going to tell you what it was. Next cheese, please. Okay, next one, next one, next one. Okay, we're coming in.

These are pretty big slices, but you sliced them. Nicole is eating mild yellow cheddar. Oh, what is that? Jeez. It's so mild, but it has an aftertaste. It has a nutty aftertaste. Nuttyness. What cheese do you associate with nuttiness?

Is there Yarlsburg here? No, there's a lot. No, dude, I almost bought Yarlsberg because I love Yorlsberg. I love Yarlsburg. No one ever talks about Yarlsberg. My dad loved Yarlsberg. Was that like a dad-era cheese? Yes.

My dad also loves Yarosburg. Dude, bring back Yarlsberg. It's a, can you Google where Jarlsburg is from? What do I feel like it's Norwegian or? It's probably from Yarlsburg. You want to Yarlsberg every weekend? What did you just feed me? White cheddar.

It's developed in the 50s at the Agricultural University of Norway. It's a Norwegian cheese, yeah. Yarsberg rips. So I'm going to guess that that was some sort of cheddar. I'm going to go with mild white cheddar. Mild white cheddar? Mm-hmm. You are incorrect.

Oh my gosh, I'm so bad at this next. Okay. Got one coming in. Coming in. There she goes. Nicole is eating Gouda. It's plasticine. It's plasticine.

Mm-hmm. The other interesting thing to talk about is... Mozilla. You think that's mozzarella. Nicole, you are incorrect. Oh, my God. Why am I so confident? Because all the pieces are the same.

But it's funny when you say that's Plastasine, because, like, I've had the good version of that cheese, and it's no one would ever call it Plastasine, right? It's, like, really delightful. You know what I mean? It's like, some of them are even quite crystalline, depending on the age. But when you win all of these. Oh, cheddar, it's cheddar. When you say that. Crystaline cheese.

I got another one coming in for you, Nicole. Okay, this is fun. I'm so excited to try this. Nicole is eating mozzarella. See if you can get one right. Come on, Nicole. Go deep into that mine palace here. Use that supertaster.

I smoke too many cigarettes to be a supertaster. I can super taste a camel crush. Oh my gosh. Don't get me started on Camel Crush. They're illegal now. They're illegal? Don't ask me all right now. Don't, Monry Jack.

That is incorrect. You've got to be shitting me. Incorrect. Oh, for four. I'm going to keep. I'm going to run through all of these. You know what? Until she gets one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. Then I'm going to be promised to be wrong for all of them. Here, coming in. This one I'm curious about. Nicole is eating Botechese. She got one, she got one, she got one, she got one, wait, wait, see if we can keep the street going. Keep the street going. What gave it away?

Is it a texture or taste? Both. Okay, coming in. I'm sorry. Nicole is eating Munster. Are you sick of cheese yet? Monster. It is Munster.

It is Munster. Okay, okay, okay. She's starting to really hit a stride. I have nothing else going on in my life other eating cheese and being blindfolded. One more, one more, one more. Nicole is eating Monterey Jack. That's Monterey Jack. Holy smoke, she's correct.

She's correct. She's on a tear. She's on a tear. Give me one more. Come on a tear. Come on, one more. Come on, one more. Now we're starting to disprove the theory a little bit.

Nicole is eating Havardi. Colby Jack? No, that one is Havardi. You've eaten most. the cheeses now to take up your blindfold? Yeah, I'll take it off. That was so much fun. Can I do that every day of my life?

Yeah, we're happy to do that. Logan, how many in a row did she get wrong? She got four in a row, four wrong in a row, then three right, then one wrong. So five wrong. But that said, like, you actually did better than I thought you would. I thought it would be harder because you have 11 cheeses here. I mean, effectively you have a one and 11 shot. if my thesis is correct, if my hypothesis is correct, you get an average of 9% correct.

And instead, you're probably going to be batting about 40, 40, 60 on there. Okay. Which is pretty good. Was it easier or harder than you thought it would be? Harder. Well, you want to know what it is. All these cheese are processed. Yeah, exactly.

So they are all going through a similar process of being cooked down and, like, being sliced and, like, cooling at a similar temperature. So, to be frank, all cheese, does taste the same whenever you're doing the same thing to it. Yeah, of course, yeah. The thing, the cheese that I was talking about, which is like the aged one being very crystalline delicious is Gouda. I ate Gouda?

You ate? Oh, yeah, one of them was a sliced, they've a sliced Gita and it looks, it's the color of fake news. But like you said, it's probably, that's dyed, right? Where traditional Gouda isn't dyed, but it's yellow because the diet of the cows, I believe. Right, right. You know, a very grass-rich diet like carry gold butter going to yield a yeller cheese.

Cheddar is straight up dyed using... Anato or paprika extractive. But so many of these are, you're kind of flattening them to, like, be in a shelf-stable deli-isle. You know what I mean? But... Maybe you're right. Maybe... Maybe all cheese does taste the same.

Also, it all tastes roughly the same because, like, it's the same chemical process, right? You know, not even to make slice cheese, but just cheese in general, you're dealing with, like, fat structures and glutamic acid and all this. And I still love... I love the world of cheese. I, you know, remember going to, especially when it's connected to culture. I remember going to Sardinia and eating a bunch of different ages of pecorino Sardo. And then the woman who, you know, she was a vintner. And then her brother raised sheep to like a slaughter for meat.

And then her other brother raised sheep for milk and made the cheese. And hearing her talking crap about how like, oh, Pecorino Romano is BS because the Romans hate farming industry. They're their town, so they exported it all to Sardia, but peccarino sardo is better anyways. I love that kind of stuff. But then, yeah, so many of these cheeses, you know, they're the same. So you put on a sandwich. Put on a little sandwich. It's a honey ham.

You taste the difference between mustard in Havardi when you got the honey ham? I'll say this. There is, like, definite flavors that once the cheese dissipates stays in your mouth. Yeah. Like I just ate the menchego, and that very obviously has that, like, sheepy-gody flavor. Once you swallow it. But something like a Monterey Jack or even a monster, it just dissipates so quickly. You don't remember what it tastes like.

They're fine utility cheeses, you know what I mean? And again, when you talked about sight, like, yeah, if you see Colby Jack on a sandwich, a grilled cheese with Colby Jack, wow. You're about to, you're in for a treat. You're in for a treat. You know, you're probably at an Airbnb. You're probably on vacation. You're making funnulled ham and grilled cheeses. That's so funny.

Is that, like, an anecdotal? Like a little bit, yeah. You know, but like all these things are kind of different. Anyway, can I take the test? Sure. Can I put my blindfold on? You feed me? You know that feeling when you've technically learned a language, but then someone actually speaks to you and suddenly your brain just freezes?

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Josh, put on your blindfold. Say, ah! It's like a lifesaver. You don't go down in the rabbit hole? Josh, he's eating. mild white cheddar. It tastes like cheese. Uh-huh.

It's nutty. It's nutty and mild, but so are most cheeses. I'm saying Havardi. Josh, you are incorrect. Ah, rats. Okay, more cheese. Okay. You just stay in that position for me.

Thank you. Don't move. If you move, the bad man will come. I may tell me the same guy. Josh is eating mild cheddar. So I was also eating. Fricken gross. No, I smack more.

Like, it tastes chattery, but chattery is the flavor of cheese, because I grew up, as an American, you grew up on a lot of cheddar. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? I do know what you mean. I'm saying that's medium white cheddar. You are incorrect. Rats. That's right.

Like a rat eating cheese. Okay, more. I'm going to eat this one with you. Josh is eating provolone. Kind of, kind of, kind of, um. Let me know if you want another pipe. Kind of plasticy.

A little grassy. This one has the sharpness of an Italian. All right. I'm going to say this one's bravalone. Josh, you're correct. Hey! Okay, we got, that one was a little noticeably different in a way that I really, I do enjoy. Okay.

Josh is eating monster. It melts nice. Well, thank God for that. That's Gouda. That's Gouda. Yeah. Positive. 100%.

Lock it in. You are incorrect. Get the a shit out of here. That wasn't Gouda? No, you get the fuck out of here. I won't get the fuck out of here. Get the Gouda the fuck out of here. That wasn't Gouda?

That wasn't Gouda. I don't believe you. Well, you should believe me because I'm a very honest person. That's crazy. And I only lie when it's important to lie. I tasted smoke. Why would I lie right now? I lie at least a dozen times every day.

I think that's a lie. I don't think Josh lies that much. I think he's just lying about lying. Which is a lie. Josh is eating Havorni That one's Munster You're incorrect

So I guess maybe you're right More cheese Okay I have nothing else Or maybe I smoke too many camel crushes I can't taste cheese no more Josh I smoke too many camel crushes And I'm Colby's always impressed whenever I tell him

All the things I can taste in his food He goes, yeah And I'm like Colby Love you Josh is eating mozzarella Burekesa So wrong Like embarrassingly wrong

What was that one? That one was whole milk mozzarella Yeah it all tastes the same bad Give me some buterkeza You're such a TikTok kid The Boudrecaza is delicious Why can't I say it right

This is like a really sad Charkoutary board This is like a depressing Chakoutheri board How are you able to get so many Correct? Me? It all tastes the same

I'm a super tuesday Taster. Que coza. I'm a super duper taster. What was the one that I thought was Gouda? That was Mexican manchego. Oh, really? Yeah.

And then you thought the Havardi was Munster. Yeah, Havardi and Munster are such. They're lateral moose for me. They're cousins, yeah. Wow. Okay, I want to draw. You want to draw? I want to draw.

I love when you draw. Can you also draw thick-booty penguin for everybody? Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah. So, so, so, so, so, so what I'm talking about, when I'm talking about all cheese taste the same, so I need a palet cleanser. This guy has a board. What am I, a Dimitri Martin comedy special from 2008?

High five. Hi five, Nicole. Boom. What was that? Jokiad? Everyone L-O-L, sometimes people L-M-A-O, but me I L-Q-T-M-M-S, laugh quietly to myself. My favorite is the, God must have known. named oranges before he named carrots.

Got to oranges and went, well, of course, these are orange to call him oranges. Got to carrots one. Ah, shit. I don't know. Long pointies. I loved Dimitri Martin. What's he doing? He saw that cute little haircut? I went to a party wearing a leather jacket and people thought I was cool. Then I went to a party wearing a leather vest and people thought I was uncool. Then I figured out the key to being cool is leather sleeves. He was great for his time.

I love to meet you're a great Woodstock movie. Okay. So we need to talk about this cheese bell curve. Oh my God, he's making a graph. Cheese bell curve. Over here, we have hard and weird. Mm-hmm. Sounds like my ex-husband.

Just kidding. I ain't got one of those. Over here, we have soft and weird. Mm-hmm. Sounds like my ex-wife. Here we have chewy and normal. That's chewy and normal. Chewy and normal?

Yeah. Don't have a comp for that one. Hard and weird cheeses. On the far, like over, on the farthest end of the spectrum. Nicole, what's the hardest, weirdest cheese you can think of? Riccada salata. That's pretty normal. I'm talking like weird or weirdest cheese you're or heard of.

Oh, Kassim. Casu Marzzi, well that's, let's go over soft and weird because Cosumarzu, it's so soft that all the maggots live in there. It's not soft. Casu Marzu's soft, isn't it? Is it soft? That it was soft. I did not know. Well, anyways, what is your hardest, weirdest cheese?

Serbian donkey cheese, poola. Oh, donkey cheese. Because, like, this is, if we're talking about the very end of cheese, this is the very end of the cheese spectrum, hard and weird, because that is cheese, you got a little puck of Serbian donkey cheese. You know what I don't like about you? That one camel cheese I ate that one time, that one Bedouin camel cheese. You know what I don't like about you? Hold on. You would like to consider cream cheese to be cheese, and that pisses me off.

It's in the name. What the hell are you talking about? It's like saying that Skid or Labna is cheese. Great. So I'm so glad you asked. So we're going to go ahead and put skeer. I didn't ask, I said. We're going to put skier over on the far end of soft and weird.

Because this is, when you speak in absolute, it's like all cheese tastes the same. I'm talking hyperbolicly. So I need to explain what I actually mean when I mean all cheese. Because I don't mean the skiers or the. Leb, Nez, or even, hey, over here, Farmer cheese? Let's put a panier. Hey, what about farmer?

Hey, what about farmer cheese? I'm over here. Let's put farmer. You know, let's even put Yettost over here. What about Brunost? Blunost and Yettost, I think, are the same thing. Farmers, you know, any kind of thing like that. Got a panir over here.

Let's say like a peccarine. So, so, so let's say this right here, hard and weird, soft and weird. And these account for maybe 60% of the cheeses in the world. What I'm interested in is this 40% in the middle of what I'm calling chewy and normal cheeses. And all of these tastes the same, roughly. We just proved that to me they do, but mostly because I don't think I'm a very good taster. Nicole, you had more success.

Hey, yeah, I had good success. But over here, you have things like cheddar. You have Monterey Jack. You know what we didn't even get into, but I think this sort of proves the case. What is the cheese that you and I grew up on? What's the cheese that was most often in your house growing up on? You take a little shreds-smith. Mexican blend.

What the hell is a Mexican blend cheese? Craft Mexican blend. You know what it is? It's three cheeses with a little bit of chili powder on top. I don't even think of dude. I don't think there's any chili in there. I'm almost convinced that I don't think. Can you look up what?

Oh, I think you're right. The craft like the finely shredded one. The one that we grew up with had the finely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was some sort of chili in it. But now I don't think the kids do that. Like look up what's in Tillamook's Mexican. Mexican four cheese blend, because that's what I buy for Julia every week.

Let's put Havardi in here. Let's put even a normal provolone. Provalon has that, like, stank, though. Only one that I was able to guess right was provolone. That one had, like, an odd smoke. Colby. What we got? Munster.

Colby Jack. Monterey Jack. Colby Jack. Cicadilla. Ceso quesadilla. Ceso menonita. Ceso menonita. Menino cheese?

Yeah. Menonite cheese? Do you not know what I'm talking about? No. Cheese made by menonites. In Mexico? Claro. Claro.

I like those menanitas. So this over here is what I believe to be your sort of bell curve of cheeses in ones that all taste the same versus ones that don't. But then I'd argue that there's a little satellite out here. That is your Swiss family of cheeses. Oh, Swiss. These are nutty, these are nutty, more nutty than they are salty. And within that, I think you have Grier.

You have Yarlesburg. Em and tall, I'd say Yarlesburg. Wait, no, Swiss. The reason why Swiss is Swiss is because of the bacteria that's used to make those little oxygen holes. Really? Yeah. What do you mean? What is, Swiss cheese doesn't exist.

What? Swiss cheese is like an American thing. Havardi has holes. Swiss, Grueuier, Emmental, these are actual Swiss cheeses. Grueir does not have little holes in it. But there's no such thing as Swiss cheese in Switzerland. Right? What are you talking about?

You go to Switzerland and you say, give me some Swiss cheese. They'll say, what kind of cheese do you want? Do you want something like Emantol? Do you want something like Grier? Do you want something like our many small batch cheese producers? So Emmental is, no, no, Swiss cheese in America's derivative of Ementhal cheese. I believe so. I believe that to me the case.

Okay. These cheeses are all the way that they are with a little holes in them because of the bacteria that is introduced. I did not know that. Well, if you're going to say all cheese say the same, you've got to know details. Where's blue cheese in here, huh? Blue cheese is... There's so much penicillin in blue cheese. They put lactobacillus...

Penicillin in there or something. Blue is under the category of soft and weird. Because those don't taste the same. Can I look at your board now? Yeah. I'm so sorry. It's okay. Well, you did a lot of scribble, scrabble.

I did a lot of scribble scrabble. If you want to add to the board, because there's certainly, like, when I'm talking about these chewy normal cheeses, I think all of these could be substituted in a sandwich with roughly 85 to 90% efficacy. God, your handwriting is atrocious. I was trying to crane.

I have pretty good handwriting for a man. I have the same handwriting as you. It's disgusting. I think you could exchange those cheeses in the middle with 85 to 90% satisfaction rate. Somebody goes, I want a ham sandwich with cheddar, and you go, we only have Montari Jack. I think they're going to be at least 85% happy.

Unless they're expecting, like, a great cheddar. You know what I mean? Yeah, okay. So that's what I think here. And then here you have those relationships with stuff, like if you were to replace Lebna with skier, 85%. If you're going to replace Roque 4 with Gorgonzola with Stilton,

Uh-huh. 85%. You know what I mean? Swiss, Greer, Emmental, Yarsberg, you have these sort of clusters of cheese. Uh-huh. That I think you can replace a pecorino with a parmesan, with a parmachian, with a Cotea.

Yeah. Hell. Oh, no, you can't do that. Cotilla is just Mexican parmesan. No, it's not. That's so disrespectful to Cotea cheese to just call it Mexican Parmesan. Well, Parmesan is Italian Cotija. Okay, thank you.

You're welcome. Grego. So you're saying everybody's living. in here. But I'm saying a vast majority of cheeses, especially carried out an American grocery store. So you're saying the average American grocery store experience is all in the middle here.

Illusion of choice. So people are just living in the middle here is what you're trying to say. So you want people to stay here, or do you want people to be on the outskirts more? I don't know what I want. What do you want? I feel like I'm Chet Hanks doing an impression of Heath Ledgers the Joker

on Zeeway. You know? I'm like a dog chasing car. I wouldn't know what to do if I got it. So this is important to bring up Of why Why is this important to you? Oh Oh shoot

Why do we have to do a whole podcast About this? I didn't really think about the why I'm not yucking you're yell I'm just trying to find out how that big old Doggin works mister Let's think about this I said well I started yelling I started yelling

Yeah you start there You started yelling About cheese and did you ever stop? Have you just stopped Well well but then We put it on the internet. Yeah. And I'll tell you what happens.

We shoot an episode. God knows what I say. I don't know what I say. I know. That's the fun of it. But the ether happens to respond back in the terms of views and comments and negative. I don't remember saying that at all. If we didn't record a video and publish that, I would have completely forgotten.

Not only that, if we didn't, if Matt didn't just cut it down into a YouTube short and post that, I would have still forgotten what I said because it's in the middle of a 40-minute episode. They posted a YouTube short and then a bunch of people were saying that I was either right or wrong. And so I said, well, let's go test this. Well, we tested it and we found out

that my batting average of my taste buds is really high. Yeah. And yours are big stinky pooh-stanky poohs. Not like sticky pooh-pooh, like a good cheese, just bad. No, sticky pooh-pooh farts because of your cigarette. Which is funny because we probably had similar...

No, you probably smoked a lot more than I didn't want to live. Yeah, you... who had issues. Yeah, yeah. And yeah. So what I've learned today is that America lives in the middle. Whatever. But what Americans should do is venture out.

Eat something hard and weird. Eat something soft and weird. Eat something with holes in it. Grow up. Get a Camamble. A Camom Bell. Camombeau. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar.

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That's hot dog to 64,000 in case you forgot. It haven't been having their IQ bars, you know what I mean? Well, message and data rates may apply and see terms for details. Okay. All right. All right, Nicole. we've heard what you and I have to say Now it's time to find out what other

Wacky ideas are rattling at this universe Time for a segment we call Opinions are like casseroles God Well Nicole it's about that time I get to hear what other people say Yeah That's it let's do it

Hey Josh and Nicole I'm calling in coming off of your Costco versus Sam's Club episode As a Costco employee I thought you guys might appreciate some fun facts about the food court, specifically the pizza. I'm ready? So each pepperoni pizza has exactly 60 pepperonies on it. And when they're placed on the pizza, they're placed in six even triangle patterns to make sure everything is uniform.

Wow. And the reason why that cheese pizza tastes so good is because there's a pound and a half of cheese on each whole pizza. That's a lot. That's why there's so much protein. It's 24 ounces measured out. So that's why it tastes so delicious. Oh my gosh. And none of this is a secret because you can see straight into the food court where the pizzas are being made.

We even have posters up showing you how to make it so anybody can look at this. I'm not giving away any trade secrets. Good for you. My opinion is that all beef hot dogs are not hot dogs. They're sausage. False. And I understand that categorically, hot dogs are sausages, but sausages are not hot dogs.

And let me tell you where the stems from. So something I noticed is my fiancé and his best friend. My fiance has a habit of calling all sausages brats. It could be a hot dog, hot link, one of the young one of ever-goids pineapple sausages. But he calls everything a broth. To him, it's a brat. And similarly, his... And similarly, his best friend calls everything a hot dog.

A wiener. And it's important to me to make that distinction. So to me, sausages is like the umbrella term for the tubes of meat. And it can come in various forms. But under that umbrella, I feel like a hot dog should be a more distinct descriptor. I really enjoy what they're saying. I'm really curious. Do they mention where they said it was their boyfriend and the boyfriend's best friend?

Um, fiancee and fiancee, Fianza. Fianza. Oh, sorry, someone got a ring. Um, but, uh, I, I am curious where they're from.

Because somebody referring to it exclusively as a brat that reads like very Midwest to me. Okay. I didn't realize how popular like brats were until I went to Wisconsin. Mm-hmm. And it's just like everywhere has a brat and they're very proud of their brots. And I love a bra. What defines a brot?

Well, we're about to get into what defines any sausage, right? A sausage is just meat inside of a casing. Sure. But like, What defines individual sausages, right? So, like, what is the difference between a brought-versed and a knock-versed? I couldn't tell you.

I couldn't tell you off-ripped. But, like, so I've had Broughtwurst, like, American Brought-Words, like a Johnson-Fill brand Broughts. Yeah, cooked in beer with onions. So good. Yum. But, like, to me, a Brought-Wurst, it's got a very specific spicing pattern. I couldn't tell you what it is. Maybe it's...

It's white, right? Broughts are white. Vice-versed is white. Brought-Wurst, to me, should be a paler brown. Because vice is white. Price is white. But like, to me, like, a Brought Worst has to do with the grind and then the spicing pattern. Mm-hmm.

And then sometimes that has to do with, like, what fillers are in there. Like, you get, like, bangers that have, like, a majority, you know, other filler in there. Like oat or, like, fat. Exactly. So, like, oats binded with fat and whatever. And so to me a brot is, like, a coarse ground sausage that is spiced with, I don't know, maybe the coriander, mustard seed, whatever. It actually is in a Brought, I couldn't tell you offhand. That's what makes it a sausage.

an Italian sausage, like the link, fennel seed is the thing that we, like, really associate with that flavor. Sure. Hot dogs, I don't think it has to do with the animal that's in it. It has to do with how smooth the paste is. How smooth the paste is, how emulsified it is. Because to me, a brat worse, I don't think this holds up in the German nomenclature,

because I think some brots do have a finer grind. Yes. But, like, if you eat a sausage and the texture is almost kind of like ground hamburger meat, inside of it, that's what we call, like, a coarser grind, versus something like a hot dog where like when you see a broth being made it looks like ground meat being shoved into a two.

When you see a hot dog being made I mean that that looks like it's a perfectly smooth paste it's more like a meat smoothie that gets pipe in tubes. For me I think the colloquial let's go get a blink like I always say let's go get a hot dog

even if I'm going to go get a sausage like I'm just going to say let's go get hot dogs like that's just the general term for tube meat. Wait wait so you're saying but I never actually go out for sausages but I do go out for hot dogs To me, they're so different. Like, if I say, like, oh, let's go out for sausages, I'm going to probably Verskucha.

Yeah, me too. Which is a great sausage beer garden in L.A. But I'm going to say, let's go get hot dogs. No way. You're going to a German beer garden and saying, let's get hot dogs? Yeah, I've also been, can I tell you something? I've also been to October Fest in Munich. And I said, okay, let's go eat hot dogs, everybody.

But, like, we know that that means all tube-shaped sausage. like items. Interesting. It's just something that I was grown and I was raised with eating hot dogs more so than any other tube meat. To me though, there's a class difference. And this is painting with a broad brush, but this is what

I've internalized as a kid. Check this out. I'm serious. Poor people eat hot dogs. Rich people eat sausages. That's what I internalize as a kid. Is that so? That's what I internalize as a kid. And so for me, sausages are aspirational. Sausages are white color. This is crazy.

And hot dogs are blue color. So if I say I'm going out for hot dogs, that means I'm going to go fresh off of eating Wienersnitzel Chili Dogs and drinking a beer outside with Patrick McDonald. Go check out the podcast. But like to me, eating hot dogs is a street event like that. Like you get, you know, a street dog in L.A. outside of a Staples Center. How interesting.

You go to Larry's Chili Dogs in Burbank. Great chili dogs. It's Lairies. You go to Cupid, something like that. but a sausage, I'm having like a cultural experience. Wow. I guess it's because in my house we never had sausages growing up. We just had hot dogs.

Why do we have hot dogs? Because Hebrew National. So I also grew up in Hebrew National. But my grandma, which is interesting, called them sausages. And I also had to tell her, granny, these are not sausages. These are hot dogs. Wow, this is so interesting. Fascinating.

Fascinating. But as far as like the all beef, I would say all beef makes a hot dog more of a hot dog than any other grind of meat Because there's very few sausages out there That are all beef Hot links can be Like a Texas Hotlink

I think You're right It is very strange To find an all beef sausage But like an all beef Hot dog to me That's the archetypical hot dog Um

South African South African Borovash Borovash Is beef right Isn't it Isn't like 95% Lean beef?

Yeah it's got to be at least 9010 Something crazy like that. And I think it is beef. Do they ever use? Surely they make game bourgeois. I don't. Right?

At any amount of buck. I don't find myself being as much of a sausage historian as I want to. And that's sad. Like there's such a wonderful wild world of sausages that like we should research the way that we research cheeses and wines and other fine goods. Sausages deserve their like love. I agree. I consider myself an amateur sausage historian. Really? I don't.

I mean, I love sausages. I think it's such a fascinating. The best place to learn is to go to that old sausage factory in Glendale and just sit there for like 10, 15 minutes and just learn about all the sausages. Yeah. So I think I got to do that because what a wonderful world of sausage. I think a hot dog is defined by its smoothness of grind and its spicing pattern and the thickness. Got to be in like a natural. What casing is it?

Well, you know a lot of hot dogs now. If they don't have a natural casing, they are cased in some sort of. of like biodegradable whatever. It's like a vegetable, a glycerin, something or something. Excuse me. But like, because Murgaz, Murgaz sausage, right, is in a lamb casing. And that's a very thin. That's why Morgaz sausages tend to be thin like that.

I love Maregat sausage. You get like a beef bun casing. Those are giant. The sausage, okay, here, I'm on Wikipedia. Your standard rot shape is like an intestine. What is a hot dog? Why is it straight? Okay, the term hot dog can be fritess, okay, yeah.

The sausage uses a weiner or a Frankfurter. That just means someone. Someone from Frankfurt or someone from Vienna. Okay, but there's Vienna sausages, not the ones that we know, not the canned stuff. And there's Frankfurters, too. So I think those two, again, I need to do my research. What am I doing something wrong? No, I'm saying what you're reading is BS.

I'm saying what you're reading is BS. It's Wikipedia BS. Oh, hot dogs, whether you use Frankfurter and Weiner, despite the fact that they mean people from two different cities or things from two different cities. There's specific spicings and styles with those two sausages, though. But God is dead and we have. killed him because now because now hot dogs are being manufactured all across the globe

and they have nothing to do. No, I'm saying God is the hot dog. God is the original Frankfurter or Wiener. We've killed any sort of semblance. It's like when people say hamburgers are German. It's like no, they are not. The original recipe for hamburg steak was a literal

like bastardization in an American cookbook about a German dish. But anyway, it's like I'm saying hot dogs now have so little to do with a traditional sausage of Vienna or Frankfurt. And because they are now, I mean, you get hot dogs manufactured in South Africa, right, that have sort of their own mild spicing patterns. You think the Barr S hot dog is going like, what is a traditional spicing pattern?

Bar S hot dog? What does that, what is that even mean? You know Bar S? No. Look at the brand Bar S. This to me is hot dogs that I grew up on. Bar S hot dogs? Bar S is the brand.

They were sold at the 99 cent store. This is the hot dog that I grew up on. Yeah Poor people hot dogs They're such poor people hot dogs But like an Oscar Meyer tastes so different From Hebrew Natty You know from Baras

I have an H&H right now So good You know who loves H&H Bill Oakley He put me on to Abelsoehm I don't know but he put me on to A&H Next opinion You have sparked a good

A good discussion though Thank you for that. I'm gonna do some research on sausages Later because of you And that's the real ticket Oh we didn't even talk about the Costco stuff That we learned from her That was interesting

Thank you. A lot of cheese, dude. That's a lot of cheese. Okay, next. Wow, what a intro. Thank you for that. What's up?

I'm Javvy from San Marquez, Texas. So, Bobby? I usually don't call, but I have probably honestly an abomination of a snack toys. It's iceberg lettuce and sour cream.

Um, it's just the perfect refreshing, like, flavor, you know? It's like eating from the meaty, like tacos or like, thoughtas or like, you know. I like though he said flappas. It's like lettuce and sour cream. So good. Yeah. All right. Thank you all.

I, it's so, it's so funny. I love you, too. I love you, Javi. I think what Javi's done is he's found a flavor association. Yes. With an entire dish. Yes, yes, it. Decided that he can just isolate that to sort of like Proust's Madelens to sort of trigger that memory of eating like a flauta or something.

Proust's Madelans. Can you please explain to the people what Proust's Madelan's is? Proust just wrote a really beautiful essay about the way that the Madelins of his childhood and ignited a sort of taste and sense memory that was able to sort of bring him through all sorts of places. A wonderful, wonderful little read. But I think this is the sort of like the Socratic form. of Bruce Madelan's. You have found the thing that brings you joy. Congratulations.

Enjoy it. I am no longer yucking people's yum. I love that for you. Is this a new change from being a mother? No. I don't think so. I think, you know, we've spent, what, five, six years yucking people's yums and honestly,

I feel like we've never yucked people's yums at most. Oh, honey, we have been brutal to some people. We haven't been brutal. Oh, honey, we have been so brutal. I've always been the open mind. We've, like, tried several of that. Both very open-minded people, and I really like that about us, but sometimes we are bitches. Peanut, butter, onion, and salami sandwiches. Sometimes you're a big bitch.

And you know what? But this, I understand why you're doing it, and it is a very refreshing flavor, and it is very light and crisp. And if it reminds you of eating flautas without necessarily getting flautas, I commend you. Check this one out. Ketchup and bread. Hamburgers. Reminds me a hamburgers. Dude.

When I was a kid, I was eating ketchup and bread because it reminded me a hamburg. Burgers. Dude, I had a, my brother had, like, a cookout, and it was an impromptu cookout with, like, just, like, three, four people. And it was the greatest thing I've ever done. You spent, like, an hour and a half there. You cook up some burgers. The time I had. Man.

Impromptu. Like, just like, hey, come over. Just grilling up some burgers. We also bought two ribbys, bone-in ribies, literally, like, maybe, like three inches. That's fun. Cook those up. That's fun. Greatest time I've ever had.

I want to get, man, I haven't had a good charcoal, grilled backyard. burger in a long time. Mm-hmm. Because every time, if I ever... It's gas now. Who uses charcoal? I know. I want to use charcoal.

I want the taste of the... No, but who does that? No one. But I need to do that. Do you have a grill? No, I can't do charcoal. I have a gas grill outside. But gas grill burgers, that's the point, you know?

Well, I had fun because I was with people I loved. Yeah, but I don't want to have fun with people I love. I, at this point in my life, do not want to talk to anybody. Oh, stop it. What I do want to do. Oh, stop it. You love talking. What I do?

No, I love Jumbos Clound Room. It's an artistic institution, Los Angeles. Stop telling people you go there so much. People are going to associate that with you. I would be happy to. They're artists. But I want charcoal grilled beef. Would that be your dancer name?

Yes. Charcoal real beef. Yes, it would. We have time for one more, Logan? One more. Come on. Come on. It's going to be a good one.

I can tell it. I can feel it. Hi, Josh and Nicole. Hi. This is DJ. from good old Burbank, California. I don't have an opinion castle roll. I just wanted to call in

because Josh has brought it up like three times on both the podcast and other Mythical Kitchen videos. I'm sorry that I called out your Fall River Flub. I didn't mean to cause you this trauma, but clearly, it's lingering with you, so I hope we can move past it.

I beefed it. Thanks, love you. I beefed it. Why does everybody love you? We should, I love everybody. I should, I should come on. We should honestly use this podcast as a way for me to sort of apologize for loving things. What is DJ talking about? DJ is talking about in an episode that we did with Ben Eberl from Sorted Food, where we do like, you know, four real regional, or three real regional foods and one fake one.

Uh-huh. We had the Chow Main sandwich from Fall River, Massachusetts. Not, I said River Falls. River Falls is University of Wisconsin River Falls is where I didn't almost go there But the coach at University of Minnesota was trying to convince me to go there Aw, cute After two years and then transferred to University of Minnesota and then I ended up at BC Santa Barbara and said So I had Wisconsin River Falls on the brain and then I said that instead of Fall River, Massachusetts

Also I said and I still don't know the difference between because New England is all the same to me and I apologize for that but I said that, I believe I said that it was 50 miles north of Boston, but apparently if you go 50 miles north of Boston, you're just no longer anywhere close to Massachusetts. Apparently it's 50 miles south of Boston. I fudge that. I fudge that entirely. Another thing, I fudged really badly. I said Poland was a part of the Soviet Union. It was never officially a Soviet state. It fought hard to retain its independence. It was a communist republic and very culturally Soviet in a lot of ways. Some people would even go so far as to say a puppet state, but Poland did retain its independence, and I said it was part of the Soviet Union, and I apologize very deeply for that. What other things have I gotten really wrong?

I think you just, you got to do the work. I can't do it for you. It's tough. Logan, do you have anything that I've gotten really wrong? No. You get a lot of things right, I feel like. I appreciate that. You know what the key is, though?

No more social media on my phone at all. It's out. I've had to read-download Instagram a bunch. just to talk to people, because sometimes it's my only mode of communication. But stop looking at comments, no more TikTok, no more Reddit, no more nothing. And so when you're talking about, like, I'm sorry you've caused this trauma in the Fall River, the good news is in the future, I'm not even going to know when I get stuff wrong. It's awesome, you know, just kind of like showing up, doing the thing that you love.

I think we all know too much about ourselves. Could you imagine if you had like a normal desk job? and you just had thousands of people commenting on your performance about it. I know so much of it is what we signed up for. I know. I definitely signed up for it. Small, pitiable complaints.

And if I had a desk job, I would not be happy, actually. No, nor I. I think the job that I have is exactly what I need. And if I was, when I was on maternity leave, when I was telling myself, I don't want to go back to work. I'm so glad that I go to a job that I come to my... You were saying that?

Of course. What do you mean? I was like, I'm so glad that I go to a place around people that are funny and empathetic. And I enjoy their presence because if I was at a desk job like doing insurance stuff, I would blow my brains out. Bro, I had a pet smart employee the other day. She was the most, God bless her. God bless her. She was the most miserable person I've ever seen at a job. And obviously she was like in a fight with her coworker.

And I was literally just there waiting by cat food You know and I was just I was kind of thinking though Like this just I I tell it This isn't much you and brick and mortar is even just like dead This pet smart's not doing great You know what I mean? Yeah, so anyways

Grateful to be here Yeah of course Dealing with the traumas of my own doing And be getting things wrong All jobs have pros All jobs have cons If it comes down to it and we have to work in a pet smart we'll try our pet. Hey, if you go work at PetSmart, I'll come and work at PetSmart with you.

You know what that's the thing? Can I be your manager at PetSmart? It's the people that people don't. Because you're my manager now. You should be my manager at this way. Here's the thing though, like at any point, at any point anybody can end up in any situation. Of course, and you know, thank God that I'm here now, but if there's ever a situation where I need to work somewhere else and do something else, you know, go back to retail or do whatever else, you have to take it head on. You can be sad about it. You can be upset about it. You can be upset about it, but it's your reality now. And don't beat yourself up about it.

Having a job like working at Mythical and then having a job doing something else is very normal. And you can celebrate it after you're done crying about it. I had an experience I was working at the food bank this Sunday. And chatting with one of the clients who was like getting food there. And she was kind of like asking some questions about the back. And I was kind of curious. And then she was like, oh, I used to volunteer here. Mm-hmm.

And I was like, oh, that's very cool. And I realized, like, one of the reasons I like volunteering is, you know, I watched, you know, my dad kind of thought he was very stable and had his life figured out. And then he ended up homeless. Yes. And we ended up, you know, really relying on food banks. There is a world, especially thinking about stuff like medical debt, man. It's so real. That can just hit you like a ton of bricks.

And there's a world in which I could end up. needing food banks as well. Of course. That's very true for a lot of Americans. How did we even get on the subject? We're cheese drunk, man. We got to go. We got to go.

We got a goal. On that note. I don't know how we started talking about this, but I'm glad we did. I did too, man. I did too. Well, I'll see you all next time. We got new episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to our channel so we can keep working here.

If you don't subscribe, then we're going to work at PetSmart. And you know what? She's going to be so mean to me. No, no, no. I'm going to be so nice. I'm a nice. I'm nice. In retail, I'm the nicest.

I think I... No, I don't think I'd be the best one. I would kill it. Dude, you should have seen me at Levi's. Chuck and jeans up, people. I was top seller for three months. I was only there for three months. Did you know that?

No, that's really good. That's huge for you. Call us at A33 Dogpod 1. Tell us about your former jobs or whatever. I got promoted to to senior... guest, senior guest services experience coordinator or something at the catering company

really quickly. Wow, really quickly. What are they called? What are they called? It's some sort of like... Hospitality. Hospitality, liaisons, just like a person. You were like a waiter. You're like a little later. Just an empty title. Make baskets of muffins. If you have an opinion, you're like 1-8-33 doc pod 1. You already said that? Well, now we'll just tell you to go spread the love. That's how we end every podcast. We say go spread the love. Spread the love like Thousand Island

across a Batty Mel. I like that. Do you put Thousand Island on a Batty Mel? I put Thousand Island on everything. Amen, sister. And that's really what it's about.