A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Are Bagels Actually Better In New York?

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

Today, we're discussing if New York ACTUALLY has the best bagels. Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@mythicalkitchen To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. I can't believe the rats in New York City eat better bagels than us. It's a ratty bagel world out there, Nicole, and we're just living in it. This is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich.

A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest internet debates. I'm your host, Josh Scher. And I'm your host, Nicole Inayati. And Nicole, today in front of us, we have a bevy of bagels because we are taking down the question,

are the bagels actually better in New York City? Yes. Now, you and I, we've, wait, you're just saying yeah? No, no, no, this is what we're debating. I don't agree. Okay, yeah. Or do I? What?

I don't know. I don't like New York. We were in agree. Okay, yeah. Do I? What? I don't know. I don't like New York. We were in New York together once. Oh, Josh. Really? I love- Did you have a good time? Oh, my God.

I could live in New York. You were thriving there. I was really living my best life. Every single step I took was the most miserable step of my life in New York. Josh. The whole city is hostile out there. The concrete just radiates heat. There are these vents all over New York.

I don't know if people know this, that just belch the city's undersquirts at you. Yeah. And then just a belch of hot undersquirt New York air hits you right in the taint. Yeah. And it's a terrible experience. And they don't have like alleys. So they just kind of put trash out outside. There's just trash everywhere. But other than that, I love New York and I would, I would be down to live there or visit there a lot more than I already do. It's the summers that are unbearable. It's just sweaty. It's hot. It's like the Great Gatsby where everyone's like murdering each other by the end. Spoiler alert, because everybody's just hot and sweaty and it's a big metaphor.

That's all of New York to me. But I have had the best bagels in my life in New York City. Yeah, I've had pretty good bagels in New York. But now we have to decide why that is because there's a lot of myths out there. And there's one myth that like I am very concerned about dispelling today, and that is that it's because of the water. Yeah, of course, Brooklyn water. They say the same thing about the pizza.

The pizza in Brooklyn is better because of the water. The pizza in wherever sucks because the water ain't got the right nutrients in it or whatever. That's all malarkey, right? Well, I've heard of the water theory, but I've heard of another theory where people say it's the hands and like the hands they got different hands in new york we got hands in la we have perfectly good hands at home they're saying that like the hands you know like the hands like public transit and stuff like that they're clearly washed but

like there's like some sort of this is something i heard like i'm not kidding like they were talking about how pizza and bagels how like the like, the bread is better in New York, and it's because of public transit. Like, the hands. You're telling me people are, like, holding on to the grimy subway poles, getting all these bacterial cultures on their hands. It's like the way wild yeast naturally collects in France to make their wines better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's exactly the same concept. They're doing that in New York with just, like, pizza rat grease on the subway poles, and they're putting that in your bread. Pizza rat reference. Nice. Yeah.

Pizza rat. Does anybody remember pizza rat? It was an adorable rat that ate pizza. But then a month later, we were got to inform you that pizza rat is racist. That was a joke within a joke within a joke. I'm too online. I'm chronically online and it's a problem. But I have seen like there's a place called Brooklyn Water Bagels started by Larry King. Right. Yes. I'm too online. I'm chronically online and it's a problem. But I have seen, like, there's a place called

Brooklyn Water Bagels started by Larry King, right? Yes, oh my God. And he brought, he had machines that would quote unquote

Brooklynize This is in Los Angeles. Water, yeah. And he would just, I mean, RIP, but like,

he like would make, there were like these big huge like silver vats in the back that were just pumping water with all these tubes and stuff and you're like,

wow, it tasted like a normal bagel. It tastes like a normal bagel, right? There is like a truth to the fact that different waters in different municipalities are different, right? And so there is like a, what is it, a higher concentration of magnesium and calcium in Brooklyn water that they say makes the dough softer. And calcium in Brooklyn water that they say makes the dough softer. But I think people don't understand quite enough about cooking when they're talking about this like very, very small minutia of like what is the, you know, mineral breakdown in your water. It's like, no, there are so many other points in the bagel making process that change your bagel immensely that affect it on such a catastrophic level that the amount of nutrients in your water aren't going to matter. Like for instance, all the best bagels are, they're boiled, right? They have to be boiled. Yeah. They have to be boiled. That's to me,

that's what makes a bagel. That's what gives it its signature chew. And so the way you make a bagel is you make the dough, you proof it, you roll it out, you punch it out, you punch the hole or you hand roll it, make the hole. And then you boil it typically with like a sugar in the solution, right? I always thought it was a baking soda solution. Some people use diastatic, what is it? Diastatic malt?

Yeah. Some people use malt powder. Diastatic malt powder in there. And then you put that in the oven and then the steam from the boiling of the bagel actually caramelizes the outside. That's why you get that lovely chew oven and then the steam from the boiling of the bagel actually caramelizes the outside. That's why you get that lovely chew right there. That's right. But then a lot of places, they started taking shortcuts back in the day.

So they would just put the bagel into a steam oven. Yeah. Or they wouldn't boil it at all because they're like, we got stuff to do. That adds extra time to the labor process. Sure. People just want bread with a round hole in it. And Nicole, that's how we get such crappy bagels out in Los Angeles.

Well, that's not true because there have been a ton of articles that have been saying that LA is the best bagel in the world. They've been saying, wait a second, wait a second. They've been saying places like Bell's Bagels, Bell's Bagels, Courage Bagels, Hanks. There's some other places, Yeasty Boys. People are saying that these bagels

are the best in the world they're even better than Montreal bagels you don't agree? as somebody who used to write articles for a living you just have to say things

it was just a thing so you don't think it's true? no I think there is okay there is a new school of bagel baker out there that's true

especially as regionality is just like losing its focus right people are moving from all corners of the world to all corners of the world and that's beautiful. It's sharing traditions. And so, you know, you get some hipster

who loved making bagels somewhere else and figured out how to do it really well with a lot of craft and attention and you open up a spot and you're selling bagels for six bucks a pop without any toppings on them in Los Angeles. There's some good new school bagels out here and we have a couple in front of us. Can you just say the word bagel? Bagel. You were saying bagel earlier. I say bagel,

bagel weird. You were saying bagel. Not bagel. It's like bagel. Bagel. It's a bagel. Bagel. Bagel. Is that how much baritone I have in my voice? I am a gull that lives in a bay. I am a bagel. I just really had to address that. So you want to try some? Let's try some. Okay, okay. Let's explain what we got here. So producer Mindy, God bless her.

She was in New York and was like, hey, I can bring you guys back some bagels. So we have a couple right here. We're not saying these are the best bagels in New York. We are saying these are the bagels that Mindy was near. Yes, yes. I would say that the best bagels in New York are Issa bagel and Black Seed bagel.

I had a great bagel at Seydel's. I know it's gauche to love Seydel's. What's the other one that has Russ and Daughters? Russ and Daughters? Apparently their bagels aren't that good, though. They're small. You get bagels from elsewhere, and then you take it and get you the fish

from Russ and Daughters. And you sit in the park. Or am I thinking of Zabar's? You're thinking of Zabar's. I'm thinking of Zabar's. I don't know. That's okay. I don't know. But let okay. I don't know.

But let's dig in. Let's dig in. So we got the New York bagel right here. Should we toss, jump into this egg, egg everything bagel? That looks really gorgeous. We must say,

we must say, It's thick. that we did, these were frozen and we did warm them up. But we're going to try and like really put on our science hat here

and see if we can see something different between, so we have like this New York bagel right here from a spot called Bagel Pub in Brooklyn. And tell you what, Nicole, you know who says Bagel Pub has the best bagels in all of New York? Is it Bagel Pub? Bagel Pub says that about Bagel Pub. So that's very exciting.

Okay, I'm going to dip this into cream cheese that I got from Courage Bagels. I have to tell you a story. Tell me. Tell it right now. We're on a storytelling medium. I'm kind of embarrassed to tell you. Why? Okay. So we got Courage Bagels for the podcast and I was going to like put them in the freezer, but to make sure that they stay nice and fresh, I put him in the vac sealer and all of the air came out of the bagels and they turned into like chips. And then I thought, oh, let me just open the container.

It didn't do anything. And then they were just these flat little discs of bagels. And I felt so sad because Navya stood in line for an hour and a half to get them. So I didn't get any courage bagels, but I got the cream cheese. You thought like a cartoon when you flattened a bagel and you open the Vaxxiel bag, it would just pop back to life. Yeah. Yeah, I can see how you think that. I can see you opened the Vaxxed Steel bag, it would just pop back to life? Yeah. Yeah, I can see how you'd think that. I can see how you'd think that.

I did, I did. Let's tear into some. Okay, the other ones we have. This to me is like an old school LA bagel. What is it? So this is Western bagel. There's a chain across Los Angeles. There's a bunch in the valley.

To me, this is your definition of like an average mid LA bagel. I don't believe, are these boiled? They don't seem boiled. This seems like a bread roll. You know what I mean? I don't know. Let's look at the difference between our first LA bagel and our New York bagel.

Well, the New York bagel has more holes in it. There's more like air pockets. I feel like the Western is more dense. Yeah. The Western one definitely seems denser. I also got cream cheese from here. Although, we got, this is an egg everything bagel. That's true.

Is there food dye in here? I was going to say, there's got to be turmeric in here. These are abnormally yellow. Let's jump into this just like absolutely misshapen New York plain bagel. Yeah. These seem bad, right? These seem like bad bagels? They don't seem horrible.

It seems like a pretty bad... I can't imagine like a worse bagel than this. No, you're being dramatic. No, but I feel like... Okay, what to you makes a good bagel? Chew. Uh-huh. Crust.

Flavor. Can withstand the holdings of a lox cream cheese, tomato, salt, pepper. Smattering. You don't like it? This is just like a, this is just bread. This is just white bread. I think it's okay.

I think it has a little bit of chew. Also, you have to remember, these were frozen and came back to life. No, no, no. But like freezing a bagel doesn't like change the structure of the interior like this. Like to me, this is like significantly too fluffy for a bagel, right? I think you need, I think bagels, one should be a little bit more petite than this.

And I think that they need to have like a more defined crust. Okay. I want like a very chewy, very toothsome crust. Sure. And then I want like an interior that's a little bit dense and has like a heavy, heavy glutinous spring

and chew to it, right? To me, that's what separates like a bagel from a Kaiser roll, right? And so I don't know. It's a little Kaiser roll-y now that you mention it. It's a little Kaiser roll-y. But it does have a distinct, I think the crust is distinct enough from the center. I'm trying to discern any difference between, the LA bagel is definitely a little bit lighter. Yeah, I will agree, which is a sign of a nice boil.

I don't know. I don't want a light bagel. You don't want a light bagel? They need to be... Josh, what are you talking about? Why would you boil a bagel if you want it to be light? It steams! But that makes it denser. No, it doesn't. The steam makes it heavy. Oh my god.

This average LA bagel is better than this one, right? I agree. Than the one from New York? It is. Like 100%? 50%. 50%.

Okay. Again, this is from like a random bagel spot in New York, but if we're talking about like the water. Did you try the plain one? I did not. The plain one is miles better than the New York one. Laptops are everything. Oh, yeah. No, we now have everything flavored laptop.

My laptop tastes like bagel. That's good. Do you want to try Hank's now? So let's get into the new school. This is why people are talking about places like L.A. being like a new bagel haven. Maybe the best bagel city in the world. Okay, put your ear to this bagel. Do you know what that sounds like?

A CPR dummy. Sounds like a CPR dummy. That's because there's air in here. This is how you know Nicole took the voluntary CPR class that Mythical offered

and I did not. I forgot. I was drinking my coffee in my office and I was like, where'd everybody go? And then I would've been 15 minutes late

to the CPR class and I was like, not worth it. I'm really glad that I worked somewhere that offers me that kind of, you know, situation. This is fluffy, Josh. Springback. Okay, it's fluffy but it has like a heavy springback in a way that this also does. That one also does

too. Okay, I'm going to dip into the cream cheese. I've been eating all of the separate cream cheeses. The difference is the crust on this, right? There's two. There's no mistaking this for bread. And that to me is what a bagel needs to be. A bagel needs to be so distinct from bread.

It's like a pretzel, right? Totally. It's like a pretzel should not. It's a specialty baked good. It should not have that like. Totally. Fluffiness. I want a dense chew to my bagel.

I get that with Hanks. This is a great bagel. This is a great bagel. There's also, of course, a bunch of like really great new school bagels in New York. And a lot of people, something that's really trendy

is doing Montreal style bagels, which are a little bit sweeter, a little bit smaller, a little bit denser, a more defined hole to it. Yep. That's right. But we have to get into the stereotype of like why people think that New York has better

bagels than LA and why it actually is, right? I think people assume that because New York has been an institution for bagels since what Ellis Island happened. They're like, whatever, it's like family-owned businesses and people have been making bagels for, you know, almost 100 years. It's iconic. People's grandmas, grandpas are making it. Pass it down, pass it down.

So there's a deep amount of, like, respect for those that make bagels in New York because they've been doing it for so long. Do they do it right now? Well, I don't really know. People are going to be so mad about the mouth noises on this episode, and I don't care. I don't care. I'm loving chewing through these bagels.

This Hanks bagel is so freaking good. It really is. To me, it all comes down to the history of a region, right? And the history of New York, right? There's a much bigger Ashkenazi Jewish history, and bagels are, like, bagels are literally a Yiddish word. Yeah. Right?

It comes from Jewish bakers in, like like the 1600s who had to be completely separate from the Christian bakers. There's a long history of Jews selling bagels to the Gentiles. Yes. And that was like the first sort of bit of Jewish culture. And this is going back hundreds of years. And so when Jews got to New York, there was a big Jewish wave of immigration in the 1880s from Russia because I think they thought the Jews conspired to kill Tsar Alexander II. It was a whole who have it the Jews conspired to kill.ar Alexander II. It was a whole, who have it, the Jews conspired to kill, am I right? I'm saying throughout history, we've been blamed for every major assassination.

So anytime the Jews got blamed for anything, more of them went to New York. And so there were bagel bakeries in New York in like the 1890s in a way that there generally weren't in, say, Los Angeles. So like you said, you have that big culture, that big history. Not only that, there was a bagel bakers union. That's incredible. In like the early 1900s. That's cool. It was like one of the most formative unions in America. That's incredible. Which is really awesome. And that was before the bagel automation process. So my general theory is bagel baking in New York,

people literally have passed down from generation to generation this nostalgia factor of like, I ate bagels from this place, your father ate bagels from this place, yada yada. However, ever since the invention of, God, what was his name? It was like Harvey Lender or something, of the automated bagel making machine. I think the quality has declined and declined and New York is literally resting on its laurels and its reputation as being a good bagel spot. And I think other cities like Los Angeles are ripe to come in and take it from them. I think you're right. I mean, we can just tell by the two bagels we had.

They are miles better than the ones that we got from New York. The chew, the bite, the texture, it's just incredible. Shout out to Hank's in Los Angeles. I think y'all make a hell of a bagel. I've been a big fan their salt rosemary one's really good too oh Josh

what's your favorite bagel have we talked about we've talked about but I just want to remind everyone what's your favorite bagel I'm a huge everything guy I've always loved

everything bagels it's like the onion the garlic sure sesame seeds on there if I'm not getting everything I'm getting's your favorite bagel? I'm a huge everything guy. I've always loved everything bagels. It's like the onion, the garlic, sesame seeds on there. If I'm not getting everything, I'm getting plain sesame seed bagel. And I get sesame bagels toasted, but everything bagels untoasted because I like toasted sesame flavor. Okay. But I'll get cream cheese, tomato, lox, red onion. That's it. Scallion cream cheese sometimes if I'm feeling a little crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Open-faced always. Oh, yeah. We wereion cream cheese sometimes if I'm feeling a little crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Open-faced. Always. Oh, yeah. We were talking about that. But I absolutely love a jalapeno cheese bagel.

That's my favorite from the Ralph's. That's the most LA thing. That's like, pull up. Ralph's bagels are good. Grocery store bagels are like perfectly fine. They're so much better than like, you know, getting a Sara Lee bagel, you know, the pre-made stuff. The bagel we got from New York is very Sara Lee-esque. The bagel we got from New York is very Sara Lee-esque. It's a very bad bagel. Right?

Which is interesting because, okay, hear me out, hear me out. I think we've talked about it a little bit, but I want to flesh it out more here, is that like the reason pizza, say, is better in New York, which that's the thing I fully believe. I think pizza's better in New York. I think pizza's better in New York. I think pizza's better in New York. The bagels on average might be better in New York. It's not what we saw here today, but it still probably rings true.

And I believe the tacos are better in Los Angeles. No, yeah, no, duh. Yeah, I mean, that's obvious. But to me, it's simply because there are a lot more Italian-Americans in New York than there are in Los Angeles. They've been there for longer. So you can't serve bad pizza because Italian-Americans in New York than there are in Los Angeles. They've been there for longer. So you can't serve bad pizza because Italian-Americans aren't going to buy it because they know good pizza.

Yeah, and they'll tell you if it's bad. Yeah, similar with Mexican people in Los Angeles, right? We're like a plurality Latino city. And so that's the reason you can go to any street corner and find someone selling awesome tacos for like $1.50 a pop. That's right. And they're incredible. Bagels. New York Jewish population around 11%. Is there really 11%?

That's a lot. There are a lot of different numbers that I've seen, but I got it from like, it was like virtualjewishlibrary.org and that seems legit enough. It's an org. It's an org. That's how you know it's real.

And it's a virtual library. No, I'm convinced. Yeah, that makes sense. So New York, this is New York metro area and LA metro area. 11% for New York, about 5.5% for Los Angeles. No way. And also a much younger Jewish population in Los Angeles, right?

That's true, yeah. And so to me, it's like you just have a much younger bagel culture. That's true. Not enough time for it to really mature and blossom. But I will say the hype around these brand new fangled shops. New fangled bangles? You like, you like here, like there's, there's, there's two competing bagel spots in Ocean Park.

One of them is Layla Bagels and there's another one. I don't know the name of it, but literally there's lines going separate around the block and people are like going with their friends. One person stands in line for Layla's, one person stands in line for the block. And people are going with their friends. One person stands in line for Layla's. One person stands in line for the other. And then they get it and compare it to each other. You know how I know Layla's won?

Because it's the name I remember? Yep. Yeah. Like, there's just so much hype around bagels in L.A., though, that I feel New York has that hype. But L.A.'s just going with it right now. It's a resurgence. Like, things... Time is a flat circle, right? that hype, but LA's just going with it right now. It's a resurgence.

Like, things... Time is a flat circle, right? Okay. Like, food, culinary trends go in waves. Yeah, I get that, yeah. Like, at some point, you know, I'm sure Boston had the best bagels or whatever in America. You know, like, there's just, you know,

the cyclical nature to it. You think, like, LA, 20 years from now, people aren't even going to remember New York bagels. Do I think people are going to remember New York bagels? No, like people, do you think 20 years from now at the rate at which LA is expanding its bagel footprint, people are not going to remember the fact that New York once had the best bagels. We are going to wipe the bagel history off the map of New York. We are coming for the spot, Nicole. I don't think that's possible. I don't think it's possible.

I think we will continue to beef like East Coast, West Coast, like Biggie and Tupac. And that's it. You know? There's never going to be a right answer.

Like, you and I are LA people. We're from here. We're born and raised here. We've been to New York only... How many times have you been to New York? Ugh, like four. I've been like twice in my life.

You know what I mean? So, I'm not the best authority to talk about which Ugh like four. I've been like twice in my life you know what I mean? So I'm not the best authority to talk about which one is better but from what I'm seeing here I will say that LA's bagels are better than

New York's bagels 100%. What's the best bagel you've ever had in your life though? Like have you had a life changing bagel? Yeah. Issa bagel.

Essa bagel in New York. It's Issa bagel. It is like literally pronounced Essa bagel. Josh. It's spelled E-S-S a bagel. it's a bagel as the bagel in new york it's pronounced it is like literally pronounced josh it's spelled e-s-s a bagel so what just because this is how words work josh no no it's not okay listen nicole can you chill yes josh no i will say isa bagel i mean their bagel was just delicious and the cream cheese was fresh and it was hot and it was steamy and it was sexy and it was delicious and i loved it. So yeah,

the bagels like that changed my life. Courage also here. Courage in Los Angeles. Have you had it? I haven't had it yet. I don't want to brave the lines. I know.

I should. I should. I should go. Okay, let's go. I should go this weekend. Let's do it. Okay. What are foods that you think

other cities have a cultural lock on? Like Los Angeles for tacos to me is like a no brainer, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. New York bagels and pizza. New York pizza. It's not bagels anymore.

It's honestly not bagels anymore. I'm so sorry. Please don't come for me. It might not be though, right? Like I've had like the average bagel in New York is just like perfectly fine, but it's not the same as the average slice in New York or the average taco in LA. That's true. Like I believe the average taco in LA is so many miles better than the average taco in

any other city in America. You are correct. What's the place? Poutine. Is that Montreal, Vancouver? Poutine in Montreal? Poutine in Montreal. That might actually be one because poutine in so many other places is like, it's rat

effed. Really? People are just bastardizing it left and right? Well, people in Montreal, they're like, it has to be a dark beef gravy. It has to have that like demi-glace like appeal. It has to be the squeaky cheese curd. It's a thick cut,

like double fried fry. And you go to a lot of other places and they're like, oh, here's like some mozzarella cheese. So that might be a good one. Yeah. I would say, what's some other ones?

A lot of just like big immigrant communities that settle in places that like don't elsewhere. So like Miami and Cuban food. I was going to say Cuban food. Chicago deep dish pizza. Deep dish pizza in Chicago.

Have you had any good deep dish pizzas here? I have. Not really. Me either. There are places that have done it. Like there's a spot called Rance's. Yeah. Those doing it.

Masa of Echo Park. Nothing like it. The Chicago one was the best one. But yeah, but everything in Chicago, the average deep dish in Chicago is so much better. Than everywhere else, yeah. That's because food has a sense of place that are created by the people. Exactly. You know what I mean?

Exactly. I just don't think, I think the bagels have fallen off in New York a little bit. Bagels in New York? Come back. I know. Where'd you go? Well, we just have to tell them, please, don't come to los angeles just stay in new york and make the bagels better in new york please they're good there just work at it please did

you josh did you even try the cream cheeses man did you even say which cream cheese you like better are they not all from the same factory are the cream cheeses not all from the same factory just spit what are they like making their cream cheese in-house i know some i know some places like started making their own cream cheese in-house i just don't know that any of these places are actually doing it i don't know they all taste different to me how did jews end up smoking salmon i don't know i don't know maybe you google that real quick it's something i probably should have researched before this but i have a a theory. I have a theory. And then Maggie, can you tell me if I'm correct? Break it down, Josh.

Okay. So judging by my like Eastern European Jewish family members, smoked fish has always been a part of it, but it's always been like mackerel and herring and sprats and like, uh, what are kippers? I don't even know what kippers are. Is that kippers and herring? I don't know. But kippers is like a smoked in vinegar or something or other, but they're all these like small river fish, right? Cause that's what kippers are. Is that kipper herring? I don't know. But kippers are like smoked in vinegar or something or other. But they're all these like small river fish, right? Because that's what they could get. Maybe some of the Russian Jews are eating smoked sturgeon. Like salmon, that's not a thing over there, right?

Norwegian, right? Salmon's Norwegian. I mean, salmon, it's in the Americas as well. But like, I have a feeling that it was just enterprising Scandinavian businessmen who got the Jews to start using their smoking techniques on salmon instead of their small fish because they can get bigger slices out of them. Well, didn't a Scandinavian guy do that in Japan and tell people, hey, eat raw salmon? God dang right he did. Yeah. God dang right he did.

Maybe. It's highly possible. I'm wondering if it's the same situation. I'm just eating bagels. This is my lunch. How do you feel about people just making like a classic deli sandwich on a bagel

instead of bread? Ugh. I hate it. Do you hate it? I hate it too. I despise it. Gross. It is literally the worst.

A bagel, a bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel? Put it away. Get out of here. I think it's a pretty common thing that people enjoy. Put it on an English muffin. Grow up. I have never had a bacon, egg, and cheese from a bagel? Get out of here. I think it's a pretty common thing that people Put it on an English muffin. Grow up.

I have never had a bacon egg and cheese from New York. I'm sorry. Have you ever had one? Yeah. Have you ever had a chopped cheese from New York?

No. Me neither. Cheesesteaks in Philly. That's another one. That's another one. That's another one that people really mess up. Do you want to go

Okay, so we have plans to have bagels this weekend. But like, you sound like you want to go back to New York. I would love to go back to New York. New York is my favorite city. And my favorite thing about New York is how romantic it is. Because, Nicole, it snows there 11 months out of the year.

I don't know if you know this. I think it's only like seven months out of the year. I think you're being dramatic. Well, it's seven to eight months, depending on if the vernal equinoxes happen or not. But that's my favorite thing. It's just you're walking through Central Park, roller skating on the ice, but not ice skating. You're roller skating on the ice, and you fall over, and she's like, oh, my God, and

she helps you up, and then you're both rolling around on the ground. You're kissing, and then a bunch of pigeons just come and swarm you, and one just vomits a cigarette butt right in your mouth. And that's New York, baby. The Big Apple. That's why we love it. One of my first days with David was roller skating. And then a pigeon vomited a cigarette butt in your mouth?

And then he took me again like two months ago and I said, never ever take me ice skating ever again. Terrible day. It's a terrible day. But it was so fun and, you know, it was beautiful. And I will never go ice skating ever again. Not even New York Rockefeller Center. I will not. I will not. But I will eat a terrible day. But it was so fun. And, you know, it was beautiful. And I will never go ice skating ever again. Not even New York Rockefeller Center. I will not.

I will not. But I will eat a bagel. Heck yeah, you will. In conclusion, are the bagels actually better in New York? This test says no. This test, no. And this is a very flawed scientific test to be fair. And our science was based on where Mindy was at the time

and how much we felt like inconveniencing her. And the answer was she was near Bagel Pub and not a lot, respectively, are the answers. But I think the general idea of if there are more people, if there's a higher supply and a higher demand, you have a higher chance of outliers, right? If you got more Jews, I know non-Jews eat bagels too, but if you got more Jews

demanding more bagels baked by more Jews, then there is a higher chance of one of those Jews being incredible at baking bagels, right? Ditto with pizza, ditto with tacos,

ditto with Philly cheesesteak, ditto with deep dish, ditto with ropa vieja. You know what I mean? So you just like find a high concentration of the thing you want, and then you have more choice, and it has nothing to do with the chemical

composition of the water. Shalom Aleichem, Aleichem Shalom, Kadesh Baruch Hu. Hot dog! All right, Nicole. We've heard what you and i have to say now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe it's time for a segment we call opinions are like casserole

so before we get into that we got a brand new segment called pole dance where nicole does a five second interpretive dance based on the poll that we posted on Spotify. Nicole, your timer starts in three, two, go. All right, so we asked, which is better, green salsa or red salsa? 57% of people responded with red salsa, only 43% green, which is actually a lot more parody than I thought. I thought people were going to go heavily red on that as Nicole is explaining Via her beautiful dance.

Nicole, that was good stuff. Thanks. At the end, I just wanted everyone to open their eyes and realize how important it is to vote in polls. You're a real Twyla Tharp. Using your dance for political action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big fan of Twyla Tharp.

Big Twyla Tharp fan? Huge. I'm a Tharp fan. She was the one that used the uh the scarves maybe yeah i don't know all right let's get into some voicemails hi josh and nicole hi good to talk to you um i think that the best and dare i say only way to drink beer is to add salt when i go to a bar i order a pint with a salted rim when i'm home i just like throw some salt in the can in college we used to say if you put salt in a miller it tastes like a stella so i just have gotten in the habit of salting my beers and it's made them a lot better and even better than that is a michelada but i think we all know this you throw some lime juice some Worcestershire some

soy sauce some tabasco into a glass with ice a little tahini rim with your that's the best best way but really everyone should just be salting their beers i'm a big like lager pilsner guy though i can't speak to like me too salting an ipa because i think ipas are gross in the first place and i think that we should stop pretending that they taste good but yeah hope you guys are having a good time and put some salt on your next beer xoxo excellent opinion yeah i first of all i hate ipa so much i have such a nostalgic soft spot for it because i drank so much when i was a teen a 21 year old teenager Dos Equis isn't an IPA

we're talking like Stone Lagunitas Firestone IPA Modern Times you know all that stuff so I drink a lot of those and I still really enjoy them especially when I go back to visit friends in San Diego you know going to the breweries there

and you drink some some 14% IPA that's served in a three-ounce thimble, and it just punches you in the throat. Why did I always think Dos Equis was an IPA? I don't know what Dos Equis technically is, though. It's a lager. I just looked it up. But no, I love Pilsners, and I like the idea of adding, whenever I have a Corona, I always put a little bit of salt and lime in there and a dash of Tapatio.

But I've seen it a lot on TikTok of people salting beers. It's like a thing right now. A lot of what I want from a beer, like if I'm just drinking a beer with my meal, I'm typically not going IPA. Something like a Pilsner is fantastic because it's super clean. It's light. It's fresh. It's crisp.

It's cold. It's not like an abrasive flavor. But you add a little bit of salt to it and it just kind of like… Rounds it out. Rounds it out. It cuts through that bitterness. And also, her talking about micheladas, there's like a wide spectrum of like the chelada plex in Mexican culture, right? And so, some people, they think if you just call it a chelada, that just means lime and salt in your beer, which is really fantastic.

Is that true? So, there's like chelada, michelada, cubana. Okay. And all these terms get really nebulous and they shift depending on where you are, so it's not like a perfect science. Some micheladas have tomatoes, some micheladas don't have tomato, stuff like that.

But there is a drink recognized as a gelada that is just lime and salt, which is beautiful. That's my jam. I'm in. I do love a full Michi, though. Me too. Have you ever had a Michi Lada with a tamarindo stick? Yes. Oh, I've had the freak Chiladas out there.

Oh, where they put lollipops and stuff in it? Oh, they'll put lollipops. They'll put a whole shrimp cocktail in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They served it a giant hollowed out watermelon. I'm into that. I'm into that. It's not an everyday thing. It's a good summer treat. I just want a beer.

I'd love a beer right now. Anybody got a beer? Who wants to get daddy a beer? Who needs a beer? Papa needs a beer. Come on, beer papa. Come on. Who got a beer for papa? You just had a bagel.

And now you want to have beer? A bagel's just solid beer. Beer just a liquid bagel. Next opinion, Maggie, please. Where's my everything bagel IPA? Love the voicemail. Big controversy. Clementines.

Clementines do not exist anymore. Cuties brand used to be Clementines. Now it's Cuties mandarins. There are no Clementines for the last three years. What is up with that? Please help me bring back Clementines. Mandarins suck. They're too sweet.

I want the tart Clementines back. Give me cuties Clementines. Please and thank you. I love you. Interesting note about the Clementines branding not existing anymore, which is true. And I haven't even thought of that. It doesn't.

Well, unless you go to the farmer's market or you got a cool neighbor. Do they call them clementines? I don't know. Because it's a mandarin, right? It's a small citrus fruit. I don't know the genus species. That's like bred to not have seeds. I don't know that much about it either.

I eat a ton of them. I eat like three of those bad boys a day. I love them so much. I love them a lot simply because I love oranges. I love citrus fruit. Me too. But like a navel or a Valencia orange

is so tough and annoying to just peel and you get a ton of pith on the outside and you can't just eat the segments enjoyably

the big thing that Clementines did now Cuties Halos whatever is that they have an easy to peel peel there's no seeds

and you can just throw them back so good but there's a new player on the scene Sumos Sumos baby Sumo I've known about Sumo There's no seeds. Yeah. And you can just throw them back. So good. But there's a new player on the scene. Sumos? Sumos, baby.

Well, I've known about Sumo citrus for a long time. But they got a big old advertising campaign out there now. I have seen that. They're getting the name out. I have seen that. They're getting the name out. So Sumo is like a gigantic, clementine, mandarin, whatever, in the sense that it has a very easy to peel peel.

It just comes right off. It's a Satsuma. It's a satsuma. It's a satsuma? Yeah. Yeah. And that's fantastic. But I don't know if, like, do they just keep selectively breeding the mandarins to be sweeter? Yeah, I think so.

Man. So kids will eat them. That's interesting. I wonder if they are actually less tart or if your palate has just changed. I love really sour, like, cle, Clementine-y Mandarin things. Same. They're so good. I want a little bit of abrasiveness.

Oh, my gosh. I want to taste like a, uh, what's the Filipino fruit that I love? Calamansi. Calamansi. So good. I always taste like calamansi. Ugh, so good.

Man, the world of fruit breeding, though. Riveting stuff. I want David Guest to make a mockumentary about fruit breeders. Is that Blue Stone Hill guy? No, David Guest is the guy who did, like, Spinal Tap, Guest in Show, Waiting for Guffman.

Never seen it. Mascots. Never seen it. Fun times, Nicole. Oh, also have to issue a stat correction. Oh, do you? I mentioned that maybe Jews didn't know about salmon. Turns out Jews have known about salmon for a long time. Salmon, very popular in the Baltic states.

Huge. And also in Russia. And they farm a whole lot of it there. Huge. So it turns out Jews was just smoking salmon Like everyone else. Yeah, for like a long time. Like with all the other fishies.

And then they just kind of like brought that over to like eventually London and then eventually New York. Why didn't Jews do this Feast of Seven Fishes? They had so many fishes. They have so many fishes. They should have just done it. Jews could have done eight fishes.

Could have done, yeah. Jews could have done eight fishes. Could. Jews could have done eight fishes. Could have done nine. That's all I'm saying. Right. Next opinion. Do you know what the Feast of Seven Fishes is about? I have no idea.

I just saw it in the bear and I'm like, uh. But you knew about it before the bear, right? Of course. But like, what? Maggie, can we have the next opinion? It's something about Christianity, bro. I don't know. Jesus is depicted as a fish.

I know that. Jesus' symbol is a fish on the back of cars. Annalise, why Jesus a fish? Teach a man to fish. No, no. Give a man a fish. Feed him one day.

Teach a man to fish. Feed him for a lifetime. No, no, no. Give a man a fish. He knows where to come to buy fish. Teach a man to fish and you've lost your entire customer base.

That's the Jewish version. This is a business. Why would I teach you to fish? I come to buy fish. Teach a man to fish and you've lost your entire customer base. That's the Jewish version. This is a business. Why would I teach you to fish? I know how to fish. I got all the good fish in my spot. You come to me for fish. I'll give you a good deal on the fish. Next opinion, Maggie.

Save us. I'm not anti-Semitic. Hey, Josh and Nicole. This is Andres from Denver, Colorado. Hi, Andres. A slept on food combination Is barbecue chips With pesto This works best with Kettle backyard barbecue chips

What the hell is going on I think in my experience pretty much any barbecue chip Will work but that is the best combo By far Sorry to cut you off That is so headache inducing I just love the Verbiage that he used,

of slept on. As if people know that this is a combo. Keep sleeping on it. That people eat a lot. Put it under your pillow. But people are just sleeping on it. They're just being deliberately obtuse about the fact that it exists.

I've never thought about putting these two foods together in my life. The interesting thing about them, they're both such complete flavor profiles. Yes. Like, what's a good thing to put on a barbecue chip? Not much. It's kind of its own thing.

It's its own thing. Maybe onion dip? Right, a very plain, neutral, creamy dip because it's already spicy. It's true. It's acidic. Sure. A good thing to put pesto on.

Pasta. The plainest food. They're both like such heavy profiles. Intense flavors. Headache-inducing. Mashing them together. Headache-inducing. I would love to try it inducing. Mashing them together. Headache inducing. I would love to try it.

I feel like it'd be a rush in your mouth. I feel like it'd be a party in there. The only way. It'd be like a euphoria party. I don't need to do euphoria. They're like doing crazy drugs. I never, you know, I was so uncomfortable the first episode of Euphoria, I couldn't watch the rest of it. But then you just kept going?

But then I saw the rest of the Idol. No, I stopped. Oh. But I saw the Idol in like one day. You watched all the Idol? In one day. Euphoria. But I saw the Idol in like one day. You watched all the Idol? In one day. Euphoria is more uncomfortable than the Idol, right?

Is it? Well, the Idol to me is like a stage play. It's like you're watching the behind the scenes craft of it all. You're like, why is The Weeknd doing this?

I think in 10 years it's going to be Showgirls level. It might be. It might be Showgirls level. But it didn't even get to that. It will. Ice them down for me, baby. For the kids.

They're going to be like, ah! How old were you when you watched showgirls? Well, it was on TV. And they edited it in. They edited it out. Like, all the bad words and all the naughty bits. So maybe I was like, what? 16, 17? When you saw it

unedited. When I saw it edited. Oh, edited. Gotcha, gotcha. And I saw it again when I was like, what, 16, 17? When you saw it like unedited. When I saw it edited. Oh, edited, gotcha, gotcha. And I saw it again when I was like older. Yeah, yeah.

How about you? Uh, like too young. 11. Yeah, about 11. About 11. They edited in like digital bikinis.

It was bizarre. Yeah, they would walk and it'd be like. Yeah, the bikini would be like trying to follow them. It's utterly, Elizabeth Berkley though, huge fan.

Yeah. Hey Josh. My opinion is you should have cooked that tomato paste before you put it into your dino nugget Parmesan.

Thanks. People. Okay. What is up with people talking about cooking tomato paste? Hold on. I'm here too.

I always I always cook my tomato paste. Why? Why? Why? Why do you cook your tomato paste? Because it's in a can and it's metallic tasting and it gets rid of the metallic taste.

Does it? Does it? Yeah, it does. I don't know. Does it? I don't know. I've never cooked. Well, okay.

Hold on. Hold on. If you're using tomato paste, you're likely cooking it, right? There's not a lot of raw, cold tomato paste preparations out there. Well, some pizza sauces. Are they talking about, some pizza sauces if you're lazy, but then you're adding heat to it and that's cooking it.

Like, I don't understand. There's a disconnect here for me. Are people talking about caramelizing it in the pan? Because that's the technique I do if I'm making like bolognese. I'll add anchovy paste and tomato paste in the middle of a bolognese, get some color on that in the pan, caramelize it, deepen it, yada yada. But also, let's analyze the statement you just made.

You should have cooked your tomato paste when you were making what? Dino nugget parmesan. If I had any amount of self-respect or culinary skill or acumen, I would not have been making d-d-d-dino nugget parmesan in the first place, man.

You need to check yourself, all right? You're coming here. Hey, Josh. He's coming here talking all crazy to me. Hey, Josh. He's talking all crazy. I don't go to his job. Josh.

Talking all crazy to him. Where do you work? He probably is like, I don't know. Where do you work? Library? I'm coming in. I'll be like, put that book there. What's with the Dewey system or whatever?

What's it called? The Dewey. Dewey decimal system. Actually, really formative, really incredible way to organize a lot of information. What is this? What am I saying? The Dewey decimal system. Are you saying decibel?

Decibel. Decibel. Oh, my God. Come on. Keep them going can I just say doing the podcast in Mythical Kitchen is actually so much more fun I feel like I'm hanging out

in like the basketball gym after it closed in high school you know yeah that's the same same hey Josh and and Nicole it's me Quinn I'm from North Carolina. What's up, Quinn? And my hot take is I think that nacho cheese

deserves to be on a Subway ham sandwich. Yes. What do you guys think? My man, Quinn. Quinn, great. I agree. More liquid cheeses. With ham.

With ham. At Subway. At Subway. At Subway. Subway could have fixed all of their problems if they just got a vat of liquid cheese. You know who did that? Chipotle. Well, Chipotle's liquid cheese is ass. But I'm saying, but you get some good liquid nacho cheese, some of like the canned stuff

at a Subway. I'm putting that on the meatball sandwich. I'm putting that on the tuna sandwich. You know, I'm putting that on all the sandwiches at Subway. I'm putting the liquid cheese. Quinn, you should just tell, you should literally go to subway.com and look up, you know, their

info, and then you should email this and be like, I want to own a Subway one day. And then go, and then they'll pay for your college or something. Yeah, smart. Do it. Quinn, I imagine you're a child and here's the power of being a child. You could write a letter to like the founder of Subway, HR Subway or whatever their name is. And you can say, hello, my name is Quinn. I am, let's say 11 years old. 12, 11. You know, and this is where I'm from. And then you say, I think you should add vats of nacho

cheese to all your restaurants. And they have a chance of doing that because they can use it as a marketing opportunity. And you should really spread all of your efforts around while you are a child. Any dream you ever have that involves a company, write a letter to that company. Yeah. Just do it. You never know where it'll take you. Not us. We won't fold.

We don't negotiate with child terrorists. No, we don't. Or regular terrorists. No, no don't. Or regular terrorists. No, no. Once you turn 18, if you decide to... Then you negotiate with terrorists. Okay.

Do we have one more? Also, America negotiates with terrorists all the time. I don't know where that... We will not... Who said that? I don't know. We will not negotiate

with terrorists. Was that Reagan? We literally do. We're constantly bargaining with terrorists. Was that Reagan? Bush? Who said that?

Who said we don't negotiate with terrorists? You think it was Reagan? Sounds like a reagan thing nixon that was way off nixon all right i am not a crook you know you said that and on that note are we done i want to do one more. Thank you so much. One more, one more. I want to do one more. Please. Nicole doesn't want to go home. No. Hey, guys. I'm Lily from Oklahoma, and I actually have two opinions. Firstly, French toast isn't good.

It's just like overrated soggy bread. And secondly, eggs that are like cooked in an oven or some sort of like breakfast casserole are absolutely disgusting. The texture is so weird and rubbery. Anyways, I love your podcast. Bye. Lily, coming in hot and swinging with the energy of a misanthropic teenager. I love it. Love it, right?

Yeah, totally. That's what I want my teenagers to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I go into Starbucks and there's a teenager in there, they shouldn't be all Chick-fil-A. I'm happy to see you. My pleasure. No. You should be pissed off.

You should have multiple piercings. You should have one earphone in. You shouldn't care about my order. You should get my name wrong. You should look like you were on the cast of Daria, you know, the animated show Daria? Correct. Yeah. Bring malaise back to teens.

Yeah, I want a malaise-ed Malaysian. I haven't podcasted with you so long. I don't know how to talk to you anymore. French toast. It's good. I love it. It's my favorite of the breakfast. You gotta get it from somewhere good. What do we call

the triumvirate of waffles, pancakes, French toast? Triumvirate? What do we call them? There needs to be a collective name for the triple encomptvirate of waffles, pancakes, french fries? Triumvirate? What do we call them? There needs to be a collective name for the triple entendre. Like the father, son, holy spirit. Yeah, like a, yeah.

I don't know. IHOP. I guess. I don't know. But that's my favorite of those. But I love soggy, eggy things.

To baked eggs, this is a pretty good opinion that I've never heard eloquated like that. Anytime you bake an egg, it does get kind of worse than if you cooked it any other way than baking it. I actually really like it whenever you take eggs and then you put cream and then you bake it. Like quiche. Not like quiche.

Like you crack an egg, you put cream in it. Oh, and you... In a cocotte or whatever. Eggs and cocotte. Is that what it's called? Eggs and cocotte? Yeah, I think so. The cream kind of caramelizes.

Yeah, and then you cook it in a bain-marie. You got to cook your eggs in a bain-marie. But bain-marie, you're like effectively steaming it, right? It's good though. Like you're kind of not really. Why don't you just agree with me one time? Lily, that's an astute observation. And I hope that you work a retail job

and you are mean to customers because that is your right as a teen in America. I don't know if you're a teen. I have no, you could be a 37 year old career woman. Yeah. Quinn could be 45. What? It just had big teen energy though, right?

At BTE? Sure. BTE. And on that note, thank you so much for stopping by. A hot dog is a sandwich. Your favorite podcast that you listened to in the last 40 minutes. We got new audio only episodes every Wednesday. We got new audio only episodes every Wednesday. We got new audio only

episodes every Wednesday and new audio only episodes every Wednesday wherever you get your Wednesdays. We got new audio only episodes every Wednesday and we got our videos

coming out on the Mythical Kitchen channel What Up every Sunday. If you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles, you can hit us up at 833-DOG-POD-1. The number again is 833-DOG-POD-1.

Specifically interested in children who want to write letters to companies and misanthropic teens. Those are the big opinions we're seeking right now. For more Mythical Kitchen, check out our videos where we launch videos every week. For more Mythical Kitchen, check out our videos where we launch videos every week. No, this is the copy I got. For more Mythical Kitchen, check out our other videos. We launch new videos every week.

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