A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Are Crumbl Cookies Overrated?

Episode Date: June 7, 2023

Today, Josh and Nicole are discussing the phenomenon that is Crumbl Cookies. Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: http://youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Nicole, I waited in line eight hours for this drop. I'm putting it all up on GOAT.com tomorrow. Hypebeasts are going to buy it for triple resale value. What are you talking about? Cookies. Crumble cookies. This is a hot dog is a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaidi.

And when we're not internet chefing over on the Mythical Kitchen and Good Mythical Morning channels, we are right freaking here taking on the world's biggest food debates. Nicole, we got a doozy today. We got this is the... I'm so excited. This is the supreme. This is the... Give me... odd future was a streetwear brand the hunt golf golf golf was a streetwear brand golf wing dip rip and dip had the little kitty that would flick you off when you would pull down the

the shirt i'm still stuck on bathing ape do people still wear vape vape was cool vape is still cool they the hoodies that you zipped all the way up and it made like a new thing. But Bape is now on Melrose. It's not on Fairfax anymore. I have no idea what we're talking about except for crumble cookies.

These are the hottest cookies in the game right now. So hot. Been building. That Hansel is so hot right now. They've been building their base for the last like five years. Five years, yeah.

And then when they finally dropped their app, it was literally like one of the top five most downloaded apps in the entire app store. And I've never had a single taste of a crumble cookie. Wow, I've had one, one bite. What is your, were you jaded about it? Did you want to be deliberately iconoclastic

and be like crumble cookies suck or were you open to it? No, I'm always open. I'll try anything once. So crumble cookies, you know, they're good. They're sweet. They're texture. I'm not going to ruin it for you.

Their texture is something that you need to experience in order to decide if you like it or not. Okay, so that has been the criticism against crumble cookies. There's a lot of people, of course, anything becomes so big that people just want to tear it down. They want to milkshake duck the cookies yeah can you explain milkshake duck because josh tells me about milkshake ducking once a week at this

point i am so on monday mornings he's like well time to get milkshake ducked i am so toxically online it was one tweet that said uh the world is in love with milkshake duck the adorable duck that drinks milkshakes 10 hours later we regret to inform you that milkshake duck is racist yeah um which is just a metaphor for how the internet takes one person and they build them up prop them up just to tear them down um the guy was his name was like sly dog 420 oh yeah cramp so cranberry juice juice skateboard tiktok guy yeah yeah everyone loved that guy turned out he said the N-word a bunch. People didn't like that, you know. Rightfully so. So that's another great case of milkshake talking.

Yes, it is. Rightfully so. But crumble cookies, people raise them up just to tear them down. They're still incredibly popular. I want to try them. And also, if we're talking about cultural reasons why they might be sweet, right? Like, okay, for instance, you go to a Japanese izakaya, you eat something like natto. Yes.

Right? That's a texture that is not very familiar. Totally. Natto is fermented soybeans that is very kind of stringy. Stringy and slimy. Has a bit of a slimy texture to it. Sure. But not a texture familiar to Americans, but very familiar to Japanese people.

Sure. So it can be challenging. Crumble cookies are incredibly sweet, apparently. I've never had one. Because they're incredibly American? Because they're incredibly Mormon. Incredibly Mormon. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Oh, are they Mormons? They are Mormons. So they were've never had one. Because they're incredibly American? Because they're incredibly Mormon. Incredibly Mormon! Here's the thing.

Are they Mormons? So they were founded by Mormons. They were founded by two Mormon cousins in Utah. I know they were founded by cousins. I just didn't know they were Mormons. But I should have assumed if they were cousins and they were in Utah, they were probably Mormons. Listen, it's just a numbers game at that point. And I grew up around a lot of Mormons. I believe they tend to have a sweet tooth

because they cannot drink caffeine. They do not drink alcohol. And so I think the vice sort of becomes sugar. Sugar is their drug of choice? This is a gross oversimplification of Mormon food culture. However, are you familiar with like the soda jerk culture in Utah? Yeah, how they have these like little huts and they make like cool drinks. Yeah.

Like really cool. Like, oh, let's put like four pumps of this and like half a spoon of this. You customize all the sodas. You're adding blue syrups, toppings, all this type of stuff. Yeah. And it's because that's what their bar is, right? Like they can't go out and grab a pint and make a weird soda. So I believe Crumble Cookies, the sweet tooth,

has something to do with Mormon hyperfixation on sweets. Wow. And Americans are very Mormon, right? I mean, Utahans are very Mormon. Also, I grew up around a lot of Pacific Islander Mormon people. Oh, cool, okay. Because they did a lot of missionary work there. But a lot of diverse Mormons out there.

Anyway, shout out to the Mormons. Y'all are great at playing instruments. I don't know what it is, if that has anything to do with the scripture. Every Mormon I've ever known, just like, they can bust out a clarinet and just play a song. Wow, really? Yeah, dude. I guess they really like exemplifyify like they really find importance in like learning a skill like an instrument shout out to the smith family that i grew up with um anyways we got to dig into the cookies we got we got to jump in okay we got to make our official designation of

our crumble cookies overrated or not so in front of us we have a a party box typically they come out with four cookies and then there's a mystery cookie. But we, because we're fancy people, we got a big old box. Holy smokes. Look at these cookies. Are you going to cut the box off? Maggie gave me scissors to cut the box off, but I'm left-handed, so this is really awkward for me, and I'm probably going to break my wrist. But to get into the box thing, the box is one of the... To get into the box thing, the box is one of the reasons why Crumble became really popular.

Oh my gosh. Because they got the packaging right? Yeah. It's like the Chipotle bag. They put the sort of graffiti looking stuff on it. It's all hypey hype. What the hell are these? Nicole, what the hell is going on with these cookies?

I can't wait to go to someone's graduation and hold this up instead of a picture of their face. For those of you listening only, not watching the YouTube video. We're on YouTube now if you didn't know that. Yeah, you should watch us on YouTube. Our faces are gorgeous. These are not cookies. These are cookies that fell into a Chernobyl, you know, radioactive waste vat.

They look beautiful. They're beautiful and then like came out and were branded by Jojo Siwa. I don't know how to describe it. They're the hyper pop of cookies. They're covered in sprinkles. They're each, I mean, not to get into the calorie count. These each have to be like 800 calories, right?

You know, on the website, there's a one, it's 150 calories with a little asterisk on the side. Yeah, it says. Which is why, Josh, please reach for the crumble cookie cutter. What the hell are you talking about? What is a crumble cookie cutter? Josh, right next to the box, bro. What the hell is this okay okay so there is like this is like the pizza you know the little pizza table yes little white

plastic pizza table this is a giant each cookie is four servings that's not this this they know what they're doing i am currently holding the crumble cookie cutter and let me tell you crumble cookies might be overrated but this is incredible this is a piece of technology that i'm glad to have in my hands it's like holding on to i don't know the first piece of sliced bread or something it's just a piece of plastic with a cross in it which one symbol of the mormon faith and then two just cuts the cookie into four pieces but the cross needs to be like higher right the quadrants are too equal i don't know if the mormon cross is different than like the the protestant cross because like the orthodox cross is different oh is it it's the swirly one

yeah i think right the orthodox cross is a swirly one or am i thinking of the prince prince's uh logo name yeah the orthodox cross has got like serifs on it oh the one with the slant on the bottom oh that's so cool what's the reason what's the reasoning for the bottom one i don't know it's okay this isn't nothing about orthodoxy outside of Tom Hanks. This isn't a podcast about religion. It should be. We should host a religious podcast. I know so much about Judaism.

Okay. So actually, I need to pull up my laptop again because I have all the flavors written down so we know what we're eating. I know more about Mormonism than Judaism. That's embarrassing. That's sad. I should just convert. I don't want to give up any of the things that I love doing, though.

I'm buying you a mezuzah tomorrow. I don't want to tithe to the church. I cannot let you talk like this. I don't want to tithe to the church. I cannot let you speak like this. Did you just tithe? Tithe? Tithe.

You give 10% of your income. That's the thing that a lot of Christians do. It's called tzedakah. We do tzedakah. You do tzedakah? No, we do tzedakah. Is it 10%? It's more.

Do you give? I'm pretty sure it's more. Really? I give a lot. I do a lot of charity. To whom? This is my charity. I'm just kidding.

No, but I do give a lot of charity because I think it's important to give back to communities. Yeah, Julie and I are going to start volunteering at a Jewish food bank on Sundays to do Sudoku. Are you for real? Tikkun Olam, brother. Tikkun Olam, brother. Tikkun Olam Matata. Okay, so the cookies we have. Milk chocolate chip.

That's the OG. This is what launched it. Milk chocolate chip. So they said they set out to... Do I cut it? Do I have to use the cookie cutter? No, let me talk through all of the flavors, sir. Okay, okay.

Honey cake featuring Teddy Grahams. Branded. A tasty graham-flavored cookie decorated with honey butter frosting, a light drizzle of honey, and Teddy Grahams. They put butter under cookies. They butter into cookies with butter onto cookies. Chocolate Milo cupcake, a delicious cake, chocolate cake cookie topped with a layer of fluffy marshmallow whipped cream, gooey chocolate glaze, and decorative white loops. Oh, boy.

Peanut butter featuring Snickers, also branded. A chunky peanut butter cookie topped with caramel buttercream, a sprinkle of delicious Snickers pieces, and a smooth milk chocolate drizzle. Classic pink sugar, an all-time favorite. A vanilla sugar cookie topped with a perfect pink swoop of real almond frosting. What is almond frosting? Dude, I have no idea. And then KG said that the mystery cookie is cake batter blondie.

Cake batter blonde. Listen. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay okay let's throw this out there this is a cookie yeah that is flavored like cake batter cake is another pastry yeah but it's a blondie dude yes that's three different nouns in one there should only be one noun the rest should be adjectives i agree a cookie should be a cookie should be a cookie but like there's there's way too much crossover happening right now and it's kind of giving me whiplash.

It's giving me cookie whiplash. I love that movie. Are you rushing or are you dragging? I've never seen it. You talk about it all the time. Dude, we should watch Whiplash. It'll give you so much anxiety. We?

Oh, my God. Okay, you want to have a movie day? Let's have a movie night. Can we get all these cookies? Okay, the chocolate chip cookie. This is, it looks thick and it looks underbaked, which is what a lot of people like in cookies. Ooh, but that's got a good crunch when you

cut into that, Nicole. So they said that they set out to just perfect a chocolate chip cookie recipe, and that's what launched Crumble back in like 2017 or whatever. Can I tell you why it's already imperfect? Go ahead. Milk chocolate. You prefer a dark or semi sweet chocolate in your cookie. It's necessary for a chocolate cookie. But, Nicole, imagine that you have

lived a life devoid of alcohol and pleasure, and you need the sweet just to feel something. Try it. Try the cookie dough. This is, well, I'm analyzing it. It is underbaked. This is raw cookie dough at the bottom, which, again, I love raw cookie dough. Yeah, this milk chocolate chip. So this is the original chocolate chip. It's a milk chocolate chip.

It does have the consistency of a blondie, which a blondie is a brownie without chocolate, for those who don't know. That's right. And it is one of my favorite pastries, because I'm not a chocolate guy, and I love the texture of for those who don't know. That's right. And it is one of my favorite pastries because I'm not a chocolate guy and I love the texture of a dense brownie. I think it's delicious. Hot damn, it tastes like Mormonism. It tastes like Elohim has given me my own planet.

It tastes like Joseph Smith reading the scrolls. It tastes like Brigham Young leading the expedition through Missouri. I know about Brigham Young. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have a university named after him. It tastes like Steve Young, direct descendant of Brigham Young. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have a university named after him. Tastes like Steve Young, direct descendant of Brigham Young,

winning the Rose Bowl for BYU in 1984. I don't think he did that, but Steve Young, shout out, Mormon quarterback. What's the mascot of BYU? Tastes like the Detmer brothers,

other Mormon quarterbacks. There's so many Mormon quarterbacks. Zach Wilson, terrible quarterback, great Mormon. The Cougars. The Cougars.

I don't love this cookie. They're the Cougars. Yeah. Sorry. I don't love this cookie. They're the Cougars. Yeah. Sorry. I don't love this cookie. Do you love this cookie? It's okay. It doesn't do it for me 100%.

It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Which is why they have this quadrant cutter, which I'm obsessed with. Capitalism works for me. But even the flavor, it's like, is there brown butter in there? For sure. There's brown butter in there.

It's a well-made cookie. To me, it is simply simply it is too thick it is too underbaked underbaked to be a cookie if you reframe this as a blondie if you bake this in a sheet pan and cut it into squares it would be it would be golden i think it'd be more successful but i don't think that a brownie delivery service or whatever you want or brownie drop doesn't have the same i don't know je ne sais quoi as, say, a cookie drop does. You are absolutely correct. They literally, none of these should be cookies. They're not.

But we can't judge too soon. No, we can't. But I'm trying to get in the head of crumble and figure it out. Because it's objectively, it's sweet as hell. It's a great dessert. It's objectively delicious. Yeah, it's a good dessert.

I just don't know if it's a good cookie. I agree. What do you want to move on to next? Where do you want to go? Should we stick with chocolate? Let's go with peanut butter. Let's go with this peanut butter Snickers monster. It's got just a turd coil of frosting on top.

How do you feel about frosting on cookies? It's weird, right? Lofthouse cookies? Is that what they're called? Yeah. That's the only exception, though. So Lofthouse cookies, for people who don't know, they had a stranglehold on kids' birthday parties in classrooms in the early 2000s

yeah they're like the blandest it's like a communion wafer of shortbread i don't think they're bland i think it's either it's a texture thing either you love them or you hate them it's like a very like dry cakey thing but there's almost no sweetness in the actual cookie part and then there's just a dollop of thick pink frosting and sprinkles pink frosting and i love the cookies i like them because when they mix with your saliva, they kind of go up in your gut region

and you can just keep it there for later. Okay, what's going on with this one? This is a Snickers peanut butter. It's a peanut butter cookie. It's their peanut butter cookie

with Snickers. But what is the frosting? There's normally, okay, so it's a peanut butter base cookie. You have chocolate on your nose. That's good stuff, man.

So it's a peanut butter cookie. There's just a layer of frosting, chopped up Snickers bars, and then chocolate goo. It's a caramel frosting? Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay, this one's good. I have a soft spot for peanut butter cookies. Oh. Oh, God, that's good. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Let me just tell you what it does. I don't like the caramel, the artificial caramel taste.

Because you want to kind of vomit. No, I love it. But the cookie and the pieces on top and the drizzle, I'm all about. Mormon Jesus, take me to your planet. Josh, I can't let you. I accept the fact that you came to the Americas and proselytized to the natives. That's a thing. Oh, my. Dude, this is.

That's good. As somebody who loves hyper-aggressive flavors. That was really aggressive. Like, I love, like, this is. That's good. As somebody who loves hyper aggressive flavors. That was really aggressive. Like I love, like one of my favorite foods. This is a weird tangent. It's like Lao style papaya salad. Yes, you've told me this before. Because it's like fermented mud crabs

pounded with the world's spiciest chilies and just a ton of fish sauce and crunchy green papaya, whole chunks of ginger. And it is just to me, like the most intensely flavored food in the world. And just a ton of fish sauce and crunchy green papaya, whole chunks of ginger. And it is just, to me, like the most intensely flavored food in the world. This is like the dessert version of that. There is no restraint.

Zero. This is balls to the wall, rubbing is racing, cold trickled days of thunder ass cookie coming straight to your freaking dome. Do you say rubbing is? Rubbing is racing, Nicole. What is rubbing is racing? If I'm going 170 miles an hour in a NASCAR and you come up next to me, I'm gonna jam right into you. You know why? Because rubbing is racing and my name's Cole Trickle. Oh, the cars

are rubbing against each other. Yeah, yeah. Okay, got it. Yeah, I guess without that context, it sounds sensual. I was like, you were gonna go down in a weird Mormon-like thing and I just wasn't interested. No, that's soaking. Yeah, I wasn't interested. And soaking is not sex. I think kids listen to this i think listen is this this is a historical fact that we're talking about um yeah this immediately swayed me i'm never gonna go to crumble and get a normal chocolate chip no their normal chocolate chip is is mid as the kids say it's mid my throat burns

from the amount of sugar that's my my problem. I don't care. I can't eat things like that. Why? Was there a point when you could when you were a child? Yeah, of course. When I was a kid, I was like, nom, nom, nom. But like now it's like, yeah, see? Don't you want to?

No, we just have more cookies. Do you have a palate cleanser in there? What's in there today? I need milk. I need milk and sparkling water. I want to combine them. I was counting down the minutes until you said you needed milk. Oh, God. I was waiting for you to say, I just put down a jug of milk in front of you.

I have a nice little flat white with oat milk. I ate a cookie and I saw God. All right, freak. Let's move on to the next one. What are we doing? I want this one. I say we stick with chocolate. No, we want a palate cleanser before chocolate.

Let's do this one. This is going to be the sweetest. Okay. This is the classic iced sugar cookie? Yeah. This is going to be the sweetest. Okay. This is the classic iced sugar cookie? Yeah. This is going to be the sweetest. The cookie is literally made of sugar, and then they put a sugar goo on top. Oh, look.

It kind of looks like the cutter itself as well. It's beautiful. It's pink. It's understated. It cuts the cleanest out of all of them. It cuts the cleanest. It is hard. It is dense.

This thing weighs... You ever pick up a wedge of tungsten? Not recently, Josh. Does anybody know what I'm talking about tungsten tungsten is heavy heavy heavy look small pick it up heavy the inside is tungsten ass cookie the inside is just is just dough they used anti-leavening agent, Nicole. They used a densifying agent in this cookie. There is no rise. I get, okay. God damn. I need to spit this out. I'm going to swallow it. I hate this so much.

It is like eating pure fondant. So almondy. Oh my, it literally just tastes like you're eating a thing of marzipan. It tastes like a spoonful of marzipan. God. Which is good for some people. A cookie thing of marzipan. It tastes like a spoonful of marzipan. God. Which is good for some people. A cookie exploded out of my mouth and I ate it again. I love almond extract too.

I think almond extract in pastries is one of my favorites. I almost prefer it to vanilla sometimes. That is so much. That's too much. This is like the beef bouillon of cookies. It's like a cookie concentrate. Are you not supposed to soak this in water? You soak it in water, it hydrates to be a full cake, and then the flavors disperse.

You mean like the boyfriends, the little like build-a-boyfriends that you would get from Oz? What? You know, whenever you would buy a little, it was like, build-a-boyfriend, or like build-a-girlfriend. And it was like a little like like um i don't know if you know what i'm talking about no it's like it was like a toy that you get from oz you know oz the store oh no do you know the store oz oh my gosh it was like an la thing no look up a a hs oz oz yeah so there's a lot of ways to spell Oz. A-A-H-S exclamation point. And it was like a weird like kitschy store. They had a lot of, I don't know, like Halloween costumes in like June or whatever.

And they had these things that's like build your own boyfriend when you would like, it was like made out of sponge material. And it was like the size of your thumb. And then it would like expand in water. It would like be like kind of like the size of like your palm. It's like, oh, build a boyfriend. Did you love him? Did he validate you like David? If you know, you know.

If you know, you know. Those are like fun little toys. But that's what you're talking about, right? Reconstituting it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. This is the first time I've drank a full glass of water on this podcast because each cookie

I can feel the cavities forming It's disgusting And again, I have such a high tolerance for very, very sweet things but apparently not Mormon tolerance You know like Thai spicy? Yeah, Thai spicy, Mormon tolerance, Mormon sugar You can get it like mild, medium hot or Thai spicy at a Thai restaurant

You can literally get it Mormon sweet, and this is Mormon sweet. That is heavy, man. Do you want to keep going? Yes, we have to keep going for science. If you do not forge ahead, Nicole, I will. It's okay. Like John Muir entering the wilderness with nothing but a notebook. I'll be your co-pilot.

Cut me up. I want to taste the chocolate because I want to end with the other ones. I'm just going to make the cookie cutter messy. Don't go to the chocolate. Okay, go to this one. I can to taste the chocolate because I want to end with the other ones. But it's going to make the cookie cutter messy. Don't go to the chocolate. Okay, go to this one. I can't reach that far. You have to do it. Then we'll start slopping around in all the frosting. Oh my god, I think this one might be filled. Oh god, it's so hard.

This one's pregnant. You ever see a fish and it's just a little too fat and you're like, that fish got baby eggs in it. What the hell is this? Oh my god, it's just like a pad of white chocolate in the middle. What's going on? This is the cake batter one. Oh God. Cake batter bundle.

Cake batter bundle. None of the cookie dough is cut. It's so raw. Oh God, this is so good. It's so soft and raw. What's the flavor? Cake batter blondie. It's so soft and raw. Oh.

What's the flavor? Cake batter blondie. No, but there's like a raspberry going on. There's like an artificial raspberry. I am. What is it? I think it's the sprinkles. God, that's good.

No, it's like cake batter and raspberry strawberry. Oh. Please contain yourself, sir. I can't. This is a family-friendly podcast. I love how we got two of each. I know. To be like, well, there's two podcast hosts.

They'll each want to eat a cookie. We're eating a quarter of a quarter. I told KG. I told KG to get us a nice pretty box. I'm so sorry. The Heimlich. We need to administer the Heimlich. I finally met my match in a food.

It is crumble cookies. Oh my gosh. Josh, that was horrible. Subway has a raspberry white chocolate cookie. Does it taste like that times like on steroids? Literally. Literally. It is like you threw Subway's raspberry white chocolate cookies into a black hole and it

like condensed it into dark matter. Yeah. And then it, you know, went through Provo, Utah and ended up here. Yeah, also had like 100 grams of steroids pumped into his bottom. 100% man. And I am in. Like, I think this genuinely tastes good though.

I think the texture is good. I love blondie texture. Again, it is sweet as hell. That one's working for me. I need an adult. I don't know how much i never thought i'd be the person who's like that's too sweet i can't handle it it's like no people say that about indian sweets right and i love indian sweets they think they're too sweet yeah and like

they're they're very very sugar-laden because they're so honey heavy maybe the honey it's like jaggery it's just they're very dense and it's a lot of nut paste you know mixed with stuff and it's not meant to be eaten in this quantity is the thing about Indian sweets especially. Like think about like jalebi, right? Yeah. Or zulbia. Mm-hmm. It's incredibly sweet, but it's a little mush.

Little pieces, yeah. It's a little mush. You need the whole thing, yeah. Uh-uh. Different. Different portions. America. This is the most American thing I've ever seen.

Slice up the honey graze. There's a Mormon Mexican chain called Cafe Rio that came into my hometown. Same thing, but burritos. They were just the biggest, wettest, mostest burritos I've ever had. Mostest burritos. Man. God, I love it. Cut it open. What are the

other ones? This is the honey bear one. God. The honey butter bear. It's honey butter frosting. Oh my gosh. Alright, we were cutting into the golden is horrific Oh God golden grams honey butter frosted honey crumbling crumble cooking. I want the one with the bear on it Take another bear. No Hey, just let me live. Oh, this cookie feels wet. Why is it? This is the heaviest cookie.

Why is it? It's heavy. Oh, my God. This is... It's like holding a two-pound weight. No! This is like a two-pound... This is two pounds of cookie. This is like pure plutonium.

Oh, my God. It's crazy. It's wet. It's wet and it's heavy. You poke it. It stays wet. Look it. How does your finger poke like that?

I can poke all the way through if I wanted to. Oh, my gosh. I have such a hard finger. I'm just eating butter. It's all good. It's all actually balanced. Ethicists. Ethicists need to study this food for whether or not this is suitable for human consumption.

This is the most balanced cookie we've had though. It's good. Salt. It's salty. This is a well-balanced cookie. Good job, Crumble. These are just the Indian sweets of cookies, dude. If these were like little tiny, if it was a single bite, like a single very sweet thing to end a meal. But it wouldn't be Instagrammable if it wasn't.

Correct. They need to play to American excess and, have they. This is just butter. This is butter. This is like a whipped honey butter. That is a really good cookie. Which, like, buttercream is just whipped butter with, you know, it's any frosting. Yeah, this is just a lower sugar cookie, so the butter can really shine, and then they just drizzle honey on it.

And it's salted, which makes it great. Which makes- Unreal. This is the best cookie out of the ones that we've tried so far. I remember that. Because it's salted. And it's not like you're not getting punched in the gut with just sugar. Incredibly balanced.

Well done, Crumble. Damn, I am. This has been the biggest emotional journey of any food tasting that we've ever done. Ethicists. Ethicists. And we still have. One more. We still have the marshmallow cupcake.

Oh my gosh. Dark chocolate. Nicole. Oh, I'm getting the sugars. You stare into the eyes of Sauron and you dive. What is this based off of again? Oh God, it's so dense. Nicole.

Oh my God. It's stuck. The cookie has stuck to the cutter because of just the sheer gravity of it. So this is based off a hostess cupcake with the marshmallow frosting. Thank you. I do not enjoy chocolate cookies either. This is going to be the fudgiest thing we've ever eaten. Can you even describe the texture of this?

Sand. Wet sand. It's like kinetic sand. It's like wet kinetic sand. Excuse me. I'm a lady Oh my god Are you ready? Are you drinking already?

Ugh Okay What the hell Oh my god What the hell's going on So sugary I hate this I hate that

I hate this so much I also hate How's this cupcake This makes me hate my life Ew Ruined my day Worst thing to end on. My whole day is ruined. Do you realize how many Diet Cokes

I'm going to need to drink to make up for this? Ew. Six Diet Cokes. It is so, so, so dense with pure cocoa powder. Oh my god, it tastes The most egregious thing on this though is it's a whipped cream. They call it a whipped cream marshmallow frosting, but it's

just pure whipped cream. Yeah. And it's super over whipped. Is it whipped cream? So it's a whipped cream. They called it a whipped cream marshmallow frosting, but it's just pure whipped cream. Yeah. And it's super over whipped. Is it whipped cream? So it's super, super fatty and it dissolves in your mouth. If this was a proper like marshmallow cream, that would do better

because it doesn't have such a soft texture. So you're going from the, literally the densest cookie you've ever had with the lightest whipped cream that evaporates in your mouth and then you're just left. Left, yeah. With dense chocolate.

I have never had such terrible experiences and such beautiful euphoric experiences in one box. Yeah, I think they say life is like a box of chocolates, but I think life is like a box of crumble cookies because it's going to give you your highest highs and your lowest lows. And that's what I would rather have that though. Yeah. Right? I know cookies are like a comfort food and people, well, my laptop is covered in crumbs.

That's okay. I'm sorry. I know cookies are a comfort food and people tend to look for consistency in comfort foods. Right? Not this guy. I would rather ride the sine curve of life, Nicole, to its highest highs and lowest lows. With cookies though? With cookies, with everything. I want to cry. I would rather ride the sine curve of life, Nicole, to its highest highs and lowest lows.

With cookies, though? With cookies. With everything. I want to cry. I want to laugh. I want to be hurt. I want to, you know, feel safe. With cookies, though?

Yes. No way. Cookies are a microcosm for life, Nicole. I don't think cookies should be like this. I need a bite of something else to wash out. I think cookies like this should. I think the government needs to step in. Because this is crazy. This is insanity. This is excessive. This is, dare I say, this is a little bit overrated.

You're saying it's overrated? I think it's a little bit overrated. But let me tell you, there's so many other companies that do the same exact thing. There's Dirty Dough. There's Last Crumb. I've had all those. There's Crave. You don't think any of them hold a candle to crumble? No. Why? Not at all. This is the level of shock and awe in crumble cookies.

I am dead serious. I've had all the other ones. And those are all delicious. There's the one that's pregnant and fat, and they're all shrink-wrapped and whatnot. I don't enjoy them. All of them taste the same. They're all kind of similar. Giant, bloated, over sweet.

But none of them literally have the shock and awe and the pomp and the circumstance. Do you know the halftime performer Red Panda? Absolutely not. Red Panda. So she goes on a giant unicycle and she balances plates. She throws them on top of her head. There's a lot of people who can do it. There's a lot of people who balance on stuff.

They throw stuff. Not a single person does it nearly as well as red panda they're talking about potentially inducting her into the nba hall of fame because she's done so many halftime shows and nobody can hold a candle to her this is the red panda of cookies crumble cookies are not overrated they will give you the ride of your freaking lifetime if you can just hold on long enough and not let go, baby. I prefer insomnia. All right, Nicole. We've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe.

It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casseroles. God, I don't feel good. Oh, my God. My body's been sent into like a shock. Josh, my left toe is tingling and I can't stop it. I gotta take it. I gotta take the toe.

I gotta cut it off. I'll save it in a jar In case I can reattach it Let's get into our first opinions right As I'm just trying to stop shaking Hey Josh and Nicole Calling from Rochester New York

Walking around and it's very snowy And my nose is running But I'm originally from San Diego So shout out to the Cornice Hut of Burritos and Cali Bees out there. Let's go. I know you're a big fan of them, Josh. Hell yeah.

I like them too. But anyway, what my controversial food opinion is, I don't think there is anything wrong with microwaving leftover fast food. I always get shade. I agree with that. I'm just insulted by my friends and by my partner. Whenever they see me microwave

three to four day old McDonald's, there's nothing wrong with that. It's still food. Is it still just as good as when it's fresh? No. Obviously, fast food is better when you're eating it right away, but there's also nothing wrong with microwaving leftover fast food. It still is food.

Thank you. Hope to be featured. Yeah. I kind of only heard bits and pieces of that because I'm kind of blacking out right now. This man's moved from San Diego to Rochester, New York, the two opposite cities in America. Are they the most opposite? I mean, like, Rochester York, the two opposite cities in America. Are they the most opposite? I mean, like, Rochester's like cold

and desolate. San Diego's like happy and warm. Happy and sunny. I agree that when you microwave fast food, it is not as good as the original,

but it doesn't become worse. It becomes different. For instance, microwave lettuce. Nicole, you're familiar with a fancy Italian restaurant in Los Angeles called Alimento?

Sure. Alimento with Gruner Veltliner on tap from a large steel drum, and they have Radiatore Pasta. They have a dish- I've been there twice. They have a dish called Bruschetta with braised lettuces. Nicole, they cook their lettuces till they are hot- I never had it.

And it's delightful, and they put it on Bruschetta. I would eat it. You microwave a McChicken with the lettuce and mayonnaise, you're just braising it in the microwave. That's all's I'm saying. Josh, no. Three, four days after you get it, no, just throw it away, bro. They're chock full of preservatives.

Okay, yeah, I agree, but like- It's going to be fine. Just, there's no point. It's not like meal prepping. You ever microwave a Crunchwrap Supreme a couple days out? No, no, I've never done that. Microwave a Crunchwrap Supreme. One, the crunch, the layer just completely absorbs into the rest of it. Totally. The lettuce, the moisture from therowave a Crunchwrap Supreme. One, the crunch, the layer, just completely absorbs into the rest of it.

Totally. The lettuce, the moisture from the lettuce takes the Crunchwrap. It takes the tostada into itself, like a starfish eating, and it just becomes a soup inside, which is still good. It's like a gigantic soup dumpling.

I'm with this man. I wouldn't do that anymore. Also, shout out to Jenna Marbles and Babish. Who are both from Rochester. Correct. And Mario Lopez from San Diego. Chula Vista specifically. Hi.

My name is Anna. I'm from Burke, Virginia. And my hot take is that I cannot stand raw onions, whether it's chopped up green onion ties. A lot of times I'll have to ask for it not to be put on my food as a garnish because restaurants love to never list it on the menu and sneak it on there. Like, oh, hey, it's nothing. But no, it's not nothing.

It's raw onion and makes everything taste like it. So love your show and thanks for listening. Bye. Okay. I think raw onion is a beautiful flavor and I'm a big fan of it. I like red. I like white. Don't do yellow onions.

Yellow onions are bad raw. Too pungy. Green onions, delicious. Red onions can have a lot of bite and a lot of funk to them, though. Josh sometimes makes me put it in ice water before I feed our guests on last meals. My favorite thing to do. My favorite thing to do. And I know Scott Conant on Chopped is a big proponent of that as well. And I understand it.

But I just think raw onion is a beautiful flavor. I agree. But you're allowed to have like your preferences when it comes to like not having raw onion on stuff. I recommend maybe you start out with pickled. Pickled onions are a great way to introduce yourself into onion hood. Yeah, start with pickled onions. And then eventually just like half of like your burrito or like half of your taco, do half pickled onions, half raw onions. And maybe you'll, you don't know, maybe you'll love it at that point. I think not liking raw onion is a very reasonable thing to not like.

Totally. Yeah. I think it's reasonable. When people are like, I hate mayonnaise. It's like, well, I mean, mayonnaise is, it's really just a texture and a flavor of salt and acid that people like generally love. Yeah. But yeah, like the bite of raw onion can be really, really abrasive, really, really obtrusive in a way that I genuinely love. But yeah, the trick, the soaking it in ice water is a trick I learned from Connie Seafood, my favorite mariscos place, because they had just these thick cut red onion rings

and every time I bit into it, it just exploded with onion sweetness and it was incredible. But no bite? No bite. And it was incredible. But no bite? No bite. And I was like, how do y'all do this? And like you soak it in ice water like overnight. So cool.

And so I started doing that when I want like a big raw onion wedge, you know, to have that big old texture. And to me, that's really great. But totally agreed. Very reasonable dislike. Totally reasonable. But just try liking it by doing some fun things like what I said. Couldn't imagine like tacos without raw onion. It's delicious.

Street tacos without raw onion is crazy. Hey, Josh and Nicole. This is Graham from Austin, Texas. Saw you guys at Nikkan. It was a great show. Thanks. Josh, more of a Jim Bro-centric question. Josh, I really want to know your thoughts on the pocket egg. Is this dumb? it i know what overrated is it underrated or are the jimbros onto something like carrying a whole food

around as a snack i'd love your thoughts on that may i please take the pocket egg i believe pocket egg is an egg you keep in your pocket for protein boost. Is that correct? That is, that is correct. Um, my only problem with the pocket egg one, I'm a fan of pocket foods in the gym. I'll keep a protein bar, which having a whole food is probably better than a protein bar. But a thing that I believe in, I'm doing like two and a half hour workouts in the gym. Right. And it's not all lifting. If you're, if you're lifting for two and a half hours, it's overkill, but I'm stretching. I'm doing cardio. I'm doing rehab, prehab.

I'm chatting a lot to all my homies. You know what I mean? So I'm there for a while. And if you get tired in the middle of your workout, you generally want what are called intra-workout carbs. Okay. Because you get a little bit of that blood sugar spike. You know, it makes your muscles feel more full. You could push out a couple extra reps.

Intra-workout protein to me doesn't really do much. To me, it's strictly a carb thing. So that's my only pocket food is a little bar pocket egg is probably a great way. If you are going low carb, if you want to get, cause eggs have what 70 calories, six to seven grams of protein, like four or five grams of fat to me, that doesn't suit my nutritional needs. Whenever I eat protein again, if you get protein wherever you can, but when I'm eating protein I'm eating five different 40 gram of protein feedings per day so I have five meals at 40 grams of protein

I'm not religious about it but I'm like sometimes I'm like what is eating six grams of protein gonna do for me right now because I can eat six ounces of chicken breast and get like 40 grams you know or just stuff Oscar Mayer lunch meat in my face and get 40 grams versus a six gram of protein egg. But you wouldn't keep that in your pocket. No, but I do stash it around. I mean, you see what I do at work. I just order like rotisserie chickens and just keep them in fridges, you know? So I understand the need for a pocket egg.

I would rather just go protein bar because I'm not low carb. But doesn't the gym smell like eggs? Yeah, people eating these eggs in the gym. I've seen videos of people doing it as like a gag, but like nobody's actually doing that, right? But going outside and eating it and coming in, that's fine. Oh, super fine. I don't want the gym to smell like hard-boiled eggs. Well, when I was, so I've told the story before, but when I was really dirty bulking,

which is a term for eating as much as possible, as often as possible to get as fat and strong as possible, and it really served me. I got my bench press up 100 pounds. I got a D1 scholarship and shot put. That's incredible. And the way that I would do it is Carl's Jr. always had a two for $3 burger special back in the day. Now it's like two for five. Thanks, Joe Biden on inflation. But back then it was called the Big Carl. And it was like 56 grams of protein, like a thousand plus calories per burger. It was their take on a Big Mac. And I used to buy two. I'd eat one before

the gym and then I would eat one immediately after the gym to get in that anabolic window, they call it, which is probably a myth, but whatever. I'm not yoddy because I'm bored. I'm just tired. I'd eat a freaking sweaty two-hour-old hamburger in the sauna because I wanted to be

funny and I thought it was a funny bit and people laughed at me and then some people were disgusted and it smelled bad. So people do weird stuff people dry scoop their protein can I tell you something if I was in the sauna and I saw someone eating a big carl I would tell the management to stop doing that but like a 280 pound 17 year old you'd be like get out of here yeah I'd be like hey no I wouldn't say get out of here I would go get the manager and say get the heck out of here I never got in trouble. I only got in trouble for accidentally dropping metal plates on a concrete floor.

Oh, you should never do that. Oh, I shattered the window once. You need to drop it down nicely and slowly. You can't just go, ah. Yeah, but if you have bumper plates, you can do it with bumper plates. They're meant to be dropped. Bumper plates are meant to be dropped? Bumper plates and Olympic platforms are meant to be dropped.

Okay, and Olympic platforms, not at the freaking Planet Fitness. They have it at 24 sometimes. They have it at 24 sometimes. Planet Fitness, no. Don't go to Planet Fitness if you're trying to lift. Planet Fitness has a great business model. It's because 99% of their customers simply do not show up. It's for money. Yeah, yeah. So they're doing well.

It's for monies. Pocket eggs are good. Just do pocket meat instead. Beef jerky. Good luck. Just do pocket jerky. Good luck. Better macros. Your two favorite gym bros are giving you the best advice. I feel like swole. I feel vascular. From the freaking cookies, dude.

I feel swollen from the cookies. You feel like a freaking good pump from the cookies, man. If you were to grab my leg, like what's this part of my leg? The bottom part of my leg. If you were to grab my calf right now, I think an imprint would stay. The gastroc, the nemias, the tibialis?

Which one? Hey, you sexy beasts. This isn't really an opinion casserole. I just wanted to call and let you know. You know how Instagram shows you so-and-so friend like this photo? Well, Instagram decided that me and nicole are

best friends because pretty much every time i pull up a meme that i'm going to send to my partner i see that nicole liked it and i feel like i'm learning a lot about her just from seeing the instagram posts that she likes so i don't know what you want to do with that information but i just thought you'd want to know thanks for the kick-ass podcast. Love you. Bye. I love you. Send them to me. Don't send them to your partner. Send them to me. I have a quick concern.

What? People can see the posts you like on Instagram? Yes. All the time. Can I just say something? Wait, we all knew this. Wait, side note, side note, side note.

Sorry I touched you. Side note. I love Instagram Reels. I don't have TikTok on my phone. I'm on Instagram Reels. I don't have TikTok on my phone. I'm on Instagram Reels. And I like almost everything that pops up on my Explore page. But now it's curated right now. Like right now if I go on my phone, it's going to be kitty cat videos and funny foreign men.

But is there like a setting where people can't see the things you've liked? Just don't like them. Just out there, huh? Just don't like them. Well, I want to like them. Just save them oh smart you can start saving them well here yeah but yeah thanks i i think i have good taste hi this is connor from spokane and i just want to say that if you uh we have one cheese as a pantry staple i think cream cheese is just the best option.

You can use it for every single meal, and it just makes every single thing you put on better. Cheddar is good, but it's a little too powerful for most applications unless you really want that cheesiness. But cream cheese can go on just about everything. All right. Love your show. Bye. I kind of love this. I have my qualms. what are your qualms um so whenever i first started working here one of the first willits i worked on was

will it mac and cheese on the youtube show that josh and i work on good mythical morning and um he was like and i said oh yeah let's put some cool cheeses in there he's like just put cream cheese and i'm like cream cheese he's like yeah cream cheese is a cheese. And I'm like, is it? You're talking about for the dessert ones. For a lot of them. You say cream cheese is a default cheese, but it's not at all. I remember differently.

Of course you do. You always remember things differently. No, well, I specifically said for the dessert ones, we made a Kit Kat mac and cheese. Sure, okay, yeah. And I was like, well, cream cheese is a cheese and it is, I specifically said for like the dessert ones, we made a Kit Kat mac and cheese. Sure, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and I was like, well, cream cheese is a cheese and it is, like you said. It's not a cheese.

What? It's not a cheese. It's a cheese, dude. I don't think it's a, I think that's why. We need new terms for cheeses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like Parmesan and mascarpone or. Are so different.

What's the skier? Yeah, like. Skier is basically yogurt, but it's classified as a cheese. Quark. I think quark nuf nuf and chill is that enough shut that enough chattel cream mascarpone even like ricotta those should just not be called cheeses but what are like brie boursin camembert like those are all spreadable okay yeah but they're but they're uh they're in a rind they have a rind and they're aged. A poisse. Rind. A poisse. Rind.

Aged. Stinky. Yeah. I do it, but one cheese, right? You can make a cake frosting with cream cheese. You can't make it with cheddar.

Yeah, you can. You can spread it on a... You could do anything. No, you couldn't make it with cheddar. How would you make it with cheddar? You could do anything in this life, Josh. What would you do? You'd have to make a bechamel

and then just add a bunch of powdered sugar to it and see if you can make cheddar frosting? Yeah. I guess that would work. Yeah. Cheddar frosting on like an apple crumble cookie? Oh my God. We just invented the next crumble cookie, folks.

This is how the creative process happens. Crumble cookies, call us. So we will help you. Josh and I, Josh and I, will help you make your next batch of four flavors. They will all be weird, but they will all be delicious, and they won't be too Mormon sweet. The Mormons and the Jews have always been like this. Shalom Aleichem, Aleichem Shalom, Kaddish Baruch.

And on that note, thank you all so much for stopping by. A hot dog is the sandwich. We got new audio-only episodes out on Wednesdays. This video comes out on Fridays. If you want to be featured on Opinion Casseroles, you can hit us up at 833-DOG-POD-1.

The number again is 833-DOG-POD-1. I'm going to start doing the podcast from down here. I like this. And if you want to check... I'll meet you. I'm so sorry, Becky.

Oh, messed up. I'm down here now. Oh, messed up. For more Mythical Kitchen, check us I messed up. I'm down here now. I messed up. For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube. We launch new videos every week. We'll see you next time, Josh. I'm going to vroom.