A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Craziest Green Room Requests ft. Steph Tolev

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Today, Josh is joined by comedian Steph Tolev to talk about the craziest green room requests from celebrities. Could a guacamole recipe get any more specific?! Leave us a voicemail at (833) DOG-POD1 Check out the video version of this podcast: youtube.com/@ahotdogisasandwich To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is mythical. Celebrities are known for making weird requests in the green room. A petting zoo with only baby ponies. I can get you a Diet Coke. No, petting zoo or nothing. This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Yay. Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast to Hot Dog. is a sandwich to the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host Josh Sherin. Joining me today is a hilarious actress and comedian who you can see

live on her Keeping Him Hard Tour or check out her Netflix special Filth Queen. Steph Tollove, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. And if you're under the age of 19, do not watch that special. It's a U-19 situation. I think it is. I guess 18s can, but I think that's the gap. What are the bits that you're most worried about a young person watching in that special? I think this is actually really good marketing for it. Well, I don't know. You know what?

maybe it's good. I think I would be a good sex ed teacher. I think you really would. Because I'd scare kids into being celibate. You know what I mean? Like I'm terrifying. And my stories are all real. So I feel like if they heard they'd be like that's what it is. You do have a little bit of a scared straight energy to me. If you ever watch it, kind of like just shaking a kid. It's like, you will get venereal disease. It's kind of great. I know. And I wish because I'm Canadian marketing. You guys had the same schooling about like sex ed. So I think I got off easy. How does Canadian sex ed differ from this? This is something I've never thought about in my life. I think you guys show way more graphic videos.

Because when I bring it up, you guys say crazy stuff. And we only have, like, one video of, like, a birth. Apparently, you guys showed, like, herpes and, like... Yeah, yeah, we had a lot of... We didn't see that. We didn't have, like, a weird gym teacher. There was a lot of pus and a lot of red blisters in our sex ed. I don't remember any of that.

I was at an abstinence-only sex ed school. It was a public school, but surrounded by a really big megachurch. Oh. And so they were abstinence only. But some of the teachers, they went rogue, and they were, like, teaching you. They should have brought me in. They should have brought you in. I should have spent like a, like a, for hire, like on Craigs that's just like scared straight for hire.

Come in a little kids, I got nothing to do the teacher of the church here, but listen up. Keep in your pants. Speaking of sex, Ed, I did think about calling this podcast top five regional rib styles to spice up the bedroom. Because that is my favorite joke from Filth Queen. Uh-huh. But, I mean, I think the answer is it's a Memphis dry rub, right? I like a saucy rib. Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, in the bedroom or just for eating? I mean, both. Okay. I mean, for both. I mean, I'm not going to... The sheets are already soiled. I may as well get some barbecue sauce on them. I like a sticky, like a sticky, like a honey, honey smoky.

I agree with that. I agree. And I think, I think, though, once you start tracking ants into the bedroom, I think then that's the problem. Well, that's a big problem. Which maybe I've, like, so many people assume because I'm, like, actually a chef, the podcast is just something I sort of stumbled into. But people like, oh, you must love incorporating food into the bedroom.

I'm like, it's completely the opposite. No, it's really, to be honest, I don't. Yeah. It's very gross. It's separate. like to have my teeth brushed before I flossed, then we get in the bedroom. Because I've had a rib incident before where a guy ate a lot of ribs and didn't quite wash his hands. And then he tried to get in there. And I was like, what am I smelling right now?

Rib sauce. And I was like, get those rib fingers away from me. And I've had the opposite, which a guy ate a lot of hot wings and did the old shli-bitty-shlub-dy. And that, you know what? The hot sauce burns wherever it goes. It only takes one. I once canceled. I once canceled a date because I did it to myself. I was just peeing, but I was here and I was cooking, making like a habanero salsa and I was peeing, not thinking about anything, and then suddenly I felt a tremendous burn. And I had to call this girl and cancel

a date and be like, hey, so unfortunately I did get a hobanero seed in my pee hole. Oh, no, man. It's just sad, I mean, not like... Also, how smug of you to think anything was going to happen? How dare you? You should have just gone and been a pleasant, nice man. You sound just like her. No, it was burning

me so badly. I was so uncomfortable. Well, because that's the thing with hot sauce. And I'm sure, you know, I used to work at a wing restaurant. We had this hot sauce eating competition. And you had the same waiver. And a guy, one time it happened, a guy went down, he didn't watch the hands and he came back, he was crying. And I was like, oh, you got to tell every guy. And I felt creepy.

I'm like, listen up, kid, if you're going to go watch you before you did you beepbee. And they're like, what is you? You're grossing me out. But you have to. Yeah, having a server at a hot wing restaurant mentioned my genitals in any sort of regard. It's unacceptable. Unacceptable, I think. It's bizarre.

I don't want to do this. But I watch this kid cry, and he was down there for a while. Sure, no, you are a hero. I am a hero. You know what? Saying it from you first, that's fine. Today we're talking about weird celebrity requests on riders. You're about to embark on a tour.

Yes. You've been on tours before. You've performed all around the country and countries. Yes. What do you have on your writer? And do you have a strategy for it? Mine is so boring. And I like this question because I keep hearing other people's writers

and I keep stealing things from there. I only have right now sugar-free red bull, water, and a veggie and hummus tray. That's it. How did you get to those things? I want to give you the psychology. I had nothing before. I only had water. And then I panicked and I wanted a Red Bull one day.

Here's the problem. I feel rude. I feel rude. That's a big part of it. I feel rude making them go out and get me specific things. Because I went to one club in Milwaukee and there's a bunch of weird stuff there. Like oatmeal peanut butter on open, all these weird like, I'm like, what is all this? And they're like, and the way they're like, well, this one comic made us go out and they didn't even touch it.

And they had this like sass to them. And I was like, I don't want to be there. that comic that makes it reward their way. So I try to be healthy. I usually get dinner before anyways. I'm like, I'm going to one little snack after, but I'm realizing broccoli and cauliflower

are very bad for a meet and greet. Because I'm having the war, I go out and I'm like, and then I have like poo breath. And I'm like talking to people. I'm like, it's the broccoli. And they're like, okay, sure, whatever.

I think if you address the poo breath, it makes it a lot worse. I think if you, I kind of like a smelly person who doesn't acknowledge it. Really? You know, I like,

you've been worked out at public gyms for a long time. And in some people, there's like an actual, it's a pathology, it's a disease that they have this body odor that is immensely terrible. Is it? And there's some people that you can tell. I think there's some people where I'm like, this is a chemical emanating from you that you cannot control. No amount of deodorant.

I think this exists. I don't think it does. I think my nose is so big I can smell from a mile away. This is the problem. This thing I can honk. I can sniff. I can sniff when I walked in here. I just think it's people being laziness with bathing.

I don't know. I feel like, Meg, if you have any time to do any research right now on like. Maybe it is. I feel like people have a halotosis. You can smell from down there. But, okay, so this weekend, embarrassing. I just bought this shirt from North Carolina. I wore it in the meet and greet line.

I didn't wash it. I just got it from a thrift store. So during the show, I started sweating, but because it's a thrifted shirt, it became somebody else's smell. Oh, that's crazy. Oh, I was like, oh, I smell. It gets activated. Yes, exactly.

So I was like a perverted man. I was stinking up on the stage. So I sat on stage and I go, this man's done bad things. I smell. Get in the meet and greet line. I already told everybody on stage you smell. This guy comes. He goes, oh, yeah, you freak!

And I'm like, oh, my God, I got so embarrassed. I put my leather jacket on, so now I'm sweating in the meat, and meat, profusely, broccoli in my teeth. I'm like, now I'm the stinking comedian, so maybe you're right, maybe I can't get rid of the smell, and I just stink. But I want, I want to have more, I just heard somebody had like, this is a key, yeah, I have, some comics have, like, I had a guy on my party yesterday,

he brings in a rotissory chicken on his, and I'm like, I want that now. Who's the comic, name him, Dish? Well, he's no, he's an actor, a musician, sorry, Spencer, Sutherland. Is he, like, is he jacked? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's the thing. That's the thing. But I was like, I'm like, oh, slippy fingers, too. That'd be nice to not touch anybody in the meat meat. And I'm like, sorry, I can't touch you. I got rotissory fingers. Wait, this is on his rider or he brings it with him. On his writer.

Okay, okay. He's got, yeah. I respect. I think, I think, because, like, with the hummus and veggies, you probably just, in case you're very famished, in case you have to skip dinner. Hummus, healthy, fiber, got some protein, calorie dense. Like, it's nice. It fills you up a little bit.

thinking all that, but yes. I'm trying to like analyze yours. Yeah, mine's boring. Mine's nothing. I wish I had something more. And like now I'm going to incorporate Diet Coke. Smart. Because I,

that's what I like. I'm trying to drink alcohol so I don't want that in the rider. And that's it. I'm like, I don't know what else to do back there. Sure. I know I get that. Like,

because then I'll start picking out and I don't want to be pigging. But I like, do you have a writer when you go somewhere? Yeah, it's like relatively new for me. But I started doing, you know, a lot more kind of festival, like food festivals on stage and stuff.

like that. And so for the first time, maybe like two years ago, I had to fill out a writer. And I said five-hour energy shop because caffeine in case I can't find coffee, I know it can have energy. And I said, you know, just a protein bar in case I can't find food. And then I said some beer would be nice. Any kind is fine because I don't want to be. I was like, yeah, if you had some beers, I'd probably drink some, makes you a little loose on stage. But the first time I showed up to this event, there's like a little runner going around. She goes, I'm so sorry we couldn't find the Japanese beer. And I went, what?

And she goes, the Japanese beer that was on your writer. I was like, I don't think I said that. And she goes, we're trying to find the Japanese beer. And one, I would never use the term Japanese beer because the Japanese beer program is such a diverse beer. There's a lot, yeah. I would have named Hitachino Ness Brown Ale if I wanted it. Very specific. No, I just, I think all beers are roughly the same.

And I literally said. And so I'm like going through my email trying to verify exactly what I said because this poor person scrambling around trying to find the Japanese beer. And so it completely backfired. the thing where I was tremendously rude and ruined this poor girl's day. See, that's exactly what I don't want. And I try to, like, I'm a bit of foodie. I'm a foodie on the road.

I try to go to a very fun restaurant. So I'm like, I also don't want to ruin that meal. Yeah. I'm going to come and eat like some slot back there. Yeah, I divide food into two categories. There's like medicine and then there's fun. You get protein, vegetables, caffeine, because I need it or else my brain starts to hurt. And then everything else is like leisure and fun time.

Leisure and fun time. Where's your favorite place to travel on the road for food? Right now, I keep saying this, Calgary. No shit. I literally just came back from Calgary and my friend, Darry McLean is a chef. He's got two restaurants out there, three I think now. It's the best food I've had in my life. Like, I can't also like, I don't have a lot of chef friends,

so it's like the one time I get spoiled and they bring it out. He's like, ooh, he picks up the menu and everything comes out. I'm picking out like wagu and like crazy fresh fish in Calgary, Alberta, which is crazy. He has like shipped in. I went to, okay, I don't want to say a restaurant. I went to one of the worst restaurants of my life in Winnipeg. I'm so mad. Everyone in town's like,

go to this restaurant. I like fancy stuff. I'm not going to complain about a bill. The portions at this restaurant. I left. We ate the whole hummus train when we got to the club because we were like,

we were starving. The bill was $350. And I had a crumb. In Winnipeg. In Winnipeg. And everyone there was like, go to this restaurant. And I'm like, I might say it.

Deer at Almond. I don't care. I can't believe, how dare you? Charge the amount. Like, also, it wasn't, if you're giving me a, it was one of the order things

that's stuffed chicken and I'm like, oh, a whole bird's going to come out, stuff to the gills. And they bring out this piece of, I don't even know what it was. On top of one grain of rice. I mean, I brought my, the guy who opens from me, Alex, and we were like, how do we share this? Do we both kiss it to get a taste? Yeah, French chis make out a little bit of a lot.

It was unbelievable. I was very upset. I can make enemies in Winnipeg. I don't give a fuck about winning. I mean, frankly. I made one. I talked about it all weekend. Every other stage was like, yeah, the place sucks. I'm like, Then why did everyone tell me to go? There's a weird thing where I view Canada just as one, I guess, large state. You know what I mean?

And as far as like regional distinctions, I was like, you have the Quebequa, they're doing stuff with French fries that I don't necessarily approve of. And they got good bagels and smoked meat. You're saying you don't like putteen. Have you head proper putteen? I've had it like at pubs in Montreal. You have with the cheese curds, the squeaky cheese curts. I get it, but I grew up in Southern California.

We have something called a soda fries. where you go to your local Mexican joint. Those are very good. And it's just like Poutine, but then you got all the sauces and the cheese. I get the cold weather, though. Did you eat Poutine sober? No, absolutely not.

You used to be blockout. Quite blackout. Yeah, okay. You still didn't like it. No, that's a problem. I still like it, but just like compared to what I grew up on it, everyone has, you know, their own regional tastes.

Sure. But it's a hangover food. It's not like a going to, I'm not going to get that at 2 p.m. 100%. But you grew up in Toronto, right? Yeah. What's your favorite, like,

regional delicacy of Toronto? Or is it just such a metropolitan that you kind of have Yeah, it's such a metropolitan We didn't really have like anything specific And we were such a diverse city that like our Indian food's amazing

Our Jamaica We have this like jerk chicken place That people are like still ready about It's unreal We have like an amazing Chinatown So we have I ate so much Amazing shit growing up

So I don't have anything For some reason my parents Weren't the best with food So we used to always eat If you want to bring it up It's called Swiss LA Have you heard of Swiss LA? I'm not so familiar with Swiss LA

We would get the family pack every Sunday disgusting. We would split like this chicken and it was it's very subpar of rotisserie chicken but it was it was home. I've only had, they sell their canned gravy and we've like imported their canned gravy

from Canada to here. The chalet sauce? Yeah, it's not bad. It's not bad. It's very salty and there's like a strange spice palette to it if you're just expecting a gravy. Yes. There's a strange pumpkin pie essence to it that you're not expecting. If you grew up on Swiss LA I'm sure it's very normal. Because we didn't, I didn't

call it a gravy. We knew that it was the chalet sauce Yeah, but it's a thick, starchy. Yeah, it is, I guess, a gravy, but like it was only there, and it was so, and they'd pour it out, and sometimes they'd refill your little mug, and it would be, it would be so, it was like, clump in. I need to do a whole cross-Canada road trip to try and, like, educate myself. You ever had Harvys? No, what's a Harvys? Harvies is, like, it's like a burger restaurant that's, like, kind of conjoined with Switzerland

sometimes, and it's one of the only places in Canada where you can go and pick what you want your burger. Oh, man, like a fudruckers. We have a fudrackers. Yes, yes, I guess it's like that. Yeah, yeah. It's so rare. And I like, sometimes when I go into high school, I'm not like middle school. I think, can I just get pickles and they have to give free pickles?

So shout out to Harvey's for sublime you's pickles for lunch for several years. Such incredible cultural learnings here. See, we're very nice in Canada. We give free pickles. A new year really does feel like a clean slate. And learning a new language is one of those goals that actually feels exciting, not overwhelming. You don't actually have to clean out the attic. Do people have the addicts anymore?

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Okay, let's go through some crazy celebrity writers. We've compiled a list right here, and we're going to rate them on how much of a piece of crap that they are. I know one. Can I give you one? Give you one. Yeah, if you have any... I have this insane one. Yeah, again, I found this up by Wachie. There's a comic who demands brand new Air Force ones

every single show. If they're doing a five, six show weekend, if they came in and the shoes weren't sitting there, they wouldn't go on stage. Do they wear them? Not all the time. But sometimes you think they put them on their feet. Sometimes they put them on feet and then sometimes they would like give them away but they're like expensive. Sure.

And then they would like use that to be like, I'm going to give it away with a fan. So I'm like they, however, exit out of charge. Or this like insane crazy tequila that would be like the highest end. And sometimes they hit like one shot and just leave it there. And you know who the comic is? I know who the comic. You're not going to name the comic. I'm not going to name the comic.

What if you told me afterwards? I can tell you. I promise you I will never. I'll tell you afterwards. I'll never. I'll tell you afterwards. The pinky promise is hilarious. This is legally binding to me.

I take this shit so serious. I've never broken one of these. I don't think I've done this in high school. No, no, it's a part of it. It's into adulthood, you know what I mean? It felt weird as heck. I don't love it. Dry hands.

One of the most intimate fingers. I really, do I have dry hands? I don't know. I don't think I've touched another man's pinky in years. I don't know. Now I feel like you're making it weird. No, I am making it weird because I haven't done that. I'm all nervous now.

That was the worst one, though, the shoes to me. Yeah. Because it's like you'd make them go out if they weren't the right ones, right size, that's insane. Because I think it's also like a tennis player, right? They're very particular about when they break out a new racket, how broken in that racket should be. I feel like if I'm a comic, I'm up there,

you gesticulate a lot. I feel like your shoes are well worn on stage. They are. Doing a lot of squat and legs are going up on stools. Those shoes I wore for the special, those were uncomfortable. I was not feeling great in those. I was clamor. They don't wear boots.

They were like All-Stars. Yeah, yeah. So I was not on my cadence felt off. I wasn't pacing as much as I know. Your athletes out there, the shoes are important. You need to have it worked in it. I thought that was very bizarre. The craziest thing about,

about Filth Queen is how much activity you got the crowd to do. Because they were all acting out how they take their nude photos. There was a lot more. Is that normal? Or were you like, oh, we got something fun here? No, I do a lot of crowdwork. Yeah, yeah. There was a lot of crowdwork.

We had to cut out, actually. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People were. But the crowd works one thing. But then a man standing up and pressing his ass against the stage and pretending to talk to the channel. That was insane. That was crazy.

Yeah, no, no. Some people, I do get a lot of people that stand up a lot for some reason. I don't know why. I'm like, I can see you and hear you. It's very strange. Yeah. Yeah. We had a guy this weekend.

I was in Calgary, the food place, and there's this crazy tattooed guy. And I was like talking to him. And in the middle of a set, another man ran from the back of the room behind this guy. It was like, he's got arm bars in his arm. I'm like, what? He's got arm bars. Rib for her pleasure. I'm like, who is this guy?

Like another guy from the crowd, it was so crazy. This guy was just in the crowd knew this guy, knew this guy. about his arm bars. What's an arm bar? It's apparently for women. He had like three ribs, technically, put into his arm. Yes. What?

Yes. It's a very, I can send you the link on my YouTube. This is like, if there's like sex ed in high school, I feel like this is a graduate, this is a graduate course. This is unbelievable. This is the honor seminar. I had no idea what was happening. Incredible.

I was learning along with the audience. Yeah. And very confused. Very confused Diplo So Diplo. Okay, wait

This is the unnamed comic with the Jordans Like scale of one to ten How much of a piece of crap move that is? I think it's like a nine That's pretty high It's pretty high You're making these poor people

Go out and like Find you out and then you're getting mad at them And then you're like Giving them away And acting like you got them Yeah So it's like they bought them You're not even

You're not doing anything So like in terms of who's fronning that bill Like it's the theater Yes And a lot of these local theaters Aren't exactly The improv I mean they know

money, but they're not like Air Jordan money over here. That's crazy. Diplo on his tour in 2012, which that was like a very specific height of EDM and they were doing a lot of it. I remember the Dada Life would throw bananas and champagne into the crowd. That's how my college apartment got 13 dozen bananas stomped into our carpet during

one house party. That was a tough day. But anyways, he had a dartboard with Nicholas Cage's face on it. A gorilla and a parrot trained to say his name. We don't know if he actually got that, so he requested. Lost season three on VHS. Two inflatable annals parentheses. It's better if they're in dangerous species and a violinist to play while he, quote, eats his cheese plates.

This isn't real. This sounds like a joke. This is like a sketch. This is like a Key and Peel sketch. Well, this is, what this is to me is like a key and peel sketch that was written by a fan of Key and Peel and didn't quite understand what was funny about Key and Peel. You know, this is somebody trying to be like, look how wacky, look how quirky. I'm Diplow.

Yes. There's no way. There's no way. The only one I now want to steal is the Nick Cage on a dartboard. That's hilarious. And pretty easy to do. Print out Nick Cage. I mean, I used it myself.

Yeah, $15.00. Darbynard from Target. You can fit that to carry on. Carry that to Calgary. There we go. Now I have a new thing. I think you got that. The rest seems absurd. It's absurd in a way where it seems like he's trying to draw attention to himself.

He wanted the headline on, you know, NME.com or whatever. Yeah. No, this is a cry for attention. It's a cry for, I think a lot of this stems from, you know, the Van Halen Brown Eminem thing. Oh, how they only one of Brown Eminem's? Yes, yes. Yeah, or they wanted no Brown Eminemms. Okay.

And it came like lore. And if they saw Brown Eminemns, they knew. that the club wasn't paying attention to detail, and they would have to check other things. But I think ever since that came out, you had people with these kind of joke writers. Okay. Also, the Brown-Dem thing, who's sorting through those?

I need to see them wash their hands. I need to see a glove on there. Picture someone licking their fingers in between and moving the stuff around. That's why he can't go to Potlux anymore. Are you a germaphobe? Well, I saw somebody make weed cookies once. I'll never get over this.

And I watched her make the batter, and in the middle she sucked every finger, pet her dog. And we're back to the cookies. And I was like, oh! And I was like, now I know,

and that was the payment for a show, this back in Toronto season. She cares your payment. I'm like, that's dog finger licking. I can't have that. I can't have the dog finger cookies.

So I now, I'm not really bad, but I don't see the washing of it. This seems like this is too much. Too much. I don't even know what to rank it on scale of 10 how much we can grab. It's just stupid. Okay,

we have Eminem on tour in 2010. I kind of love this. I think this is an O'Toores writer. And this is peak Eminem, right? 2010? 2010 is maybe like, I'd say it was probably five years past his peak. Okay, okay.

You know, what was he, Maggie, what was Eminem doing in 2010? Like, the D12 band. Okay, he was doing, like, the Purple Hills? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. He's still there. All right. Bottled water, but not Evian. Jumbo shrimp and cocktail sauce.

Mm-hmm. Six luncheibles, turkey and ham with cheese, and then French's mustard, Myers Honey Mustard, and Grey Poupon. This is great. This is wonderful. This is a perfect writer. It really is. What are we talking about here?

This is unbelievable. It's easy. It's crazy. Cost effective. Also, he knows what he wants. He's sort of telling us that he's got... Simple stuff. Mustard man.

Had no idea. Mustard man. I pictured him more of a mayo guy. Eminem looks like a male man. That's a racial stereotype. That's a racial stereotype right there. Am I getting canceled? Sorry, Eminem.

Sorry, Marshall Mathers. I didn't know you're a great Poupon guy. I pictured more of a helman's kind of guy. Yeah, fair enough. The Myers-Onda-Mustard. That's a deep pull. That's a deep pull. I kind of love that.

I do like that one. This is a man that knows what he wants, and I accept that. This is right-old. I think that's a 10 out of 10. That's a great writer. Agreed. Lunchables is silly. Stupid.

Who cares? I kind of like lunchebles. I don't like lunchebles. I'm not supposed to. Imagine three different mustards on the luncheers. That would be nice. That's a luxury that you never get. And I like a charcutor.

Sometimes when you see charcutor left out flies. Yeah. It's all sealed up. Sealed up? That's smart. I kind of like the open-air sharkouters. Yeah. It's better at room time.

This is a bit apocryful. This one is not fully fact-checked. So we're going to go ahead and say this is what Kevin Hart allegedly wanted on his 2022 reality check tour. Okay. I saw glint in your eye when I said Kevin Hart. One specific stool from Amazon, no substitutions will be accepted. This is the Winsome brand 29 inch tall square leg flat top model.

For the stage? For the stage? Or for him just to stand on backstage? Unclear. Unclear. Eight bottles of Surak vodka in peach, coconut, amaretto, and pineapple. He apparently wanted 140 rovers, which were 140 people, to roam around the theaters and make sure that nobody was on their phones.

So effectively a secret Kevin Hart police force. And then five females, ages between 21 and 27 with athletics slash sexy build. They must be go-getters and very approachable and attractive. Well, now I hate this. That's the one that really just turned my stomach there. Allegedly. I believe this. Hey, I don't know Kevin R. personally, but I'm just saying, I know a lot of male comedians,

and that sounds like something that they would love to have on their writer. Yeah, that's upsetting. up close, so their jugs are flopping around? What are they doing here? I don't know what they're doing there. Disgusting behavior. I do kind of like the idea of being able to request a type of person on your writer, though. Because if I could just have like three fantasy football bros who love talking about waiver wire pickups midweek.

Okay. I mean, that's fine. I can just drink my beer, any kind of beer is mine. I can just sit with these three dudes. Well, I mean, I guess technically I kind of have that because I, now is a, I need a- My pants off, big dog right in the front side. Icelandic strong, man. I have like, first, my special two, for the second show,

we kind of curated the front row more because we wanted people who looked like more energetic. Yes, because the first show, there's a guy in the front row who didn't react. This is a similar show. I'm like, well, that's distracting. He didn't laugh one time at me. So the second show, we kind of got more people that looked more like my bigger fans. It's always like girls with green hair, septum piercings. I know my fans.

I think we have a similar vibe on our fans. Pattoos, left me hands. Bring them on the front. breathing in the front. The lesbian jock alliance. Yes, yes. And I like couples in the front. In the front row of my shows,

they get weird and nervous and don't like talk to me, or they get too drunk and they're talking too much. I can't tell them to shut up because they ain't mad of me. So I need like, I guess it's, I don't know.

Unless I'm taping something, I don't say anything. It's kind of some like punching bag dudes a little bit because like it's, you know, it's like easy to, they can kind of like take it. Like I feel like I'd be an incredible front row guest. Oh, I would rip you and shrug. Oh, I want you to.

That dry pinky finger. you're screwed. You can do a full 10 on that dry pinky finger. I used to, I can do more than 10. I used to have, and this is real, before I had my boyfriend, I used to have no single men alone on the front because I went through a phase

where I guess my stuff is very sexual and men thought that after, because I talk about it, then they get to have their way with me so I would have like weird men and then they wait for me after the show for way too long, and I got really uncomfortable and I started feeling unsafe.

Yeah, there's one time, I was like, literally eight single men in the front row, and I was like, and like the whole set, I was thinking, the back door was bad. Yeah. And they're not, you know, they're, you know, picture the men that are coming to my shows. They're like, scary, scary, like, metalheads,

like, basement boys who just came out for the first time in 15 years. So I was like, there was a lot of scary. But anyways, I guess I'm like, but I would never, I'm the opposite of that. That's bad and I believe it and it's gross. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, that's a one end.

Also, just, you have a one end. Also, just you have enough money if you hate the phone thing, get the little phone sheets that you, if you want a concert, you lock your phone up. It would seem reasonable. It would seem reasonable. Look, if you're going to post my stuff on, if you're going to film me, just make sure I have double chin. That's what I'd say. Get a good angle. High angle, baby, high angle.

Yeah, high angle. Rihanna 2010, I kind of, this to me is really beautiful. A very soft animal print rug that she can walk on barefoot. White tulips, white Casablanca lilies, or white frisia with no foliage. That's it? No food? I mean, there may have been food, but this is the headline, I think, that people ran with. She's just sniffing back there, sniffing and walking around.

I don't know what Rihanna's eating in. I like that. I feel she's not eating for a show. No. She's very sveled. Yeah, yeah. That's nice, civilized, classy. I like the idea of Rihanna putting herself in this headspace. Do you do anything like that to put yourself in a headspace?

No. The hummus just gets you there? I really actually do nothing. I think I need to do more. I now, oh, now I have a new thing. I have my playlist play outside when people walk in. Nice. Because I'm like, it's like, you know, rat, guns and roses, you know, classic.

It fits with the crop sleeves. It fits with exactly what I look like right now. Yeah, because it's like, and people kind of get hyped up, like, rock show. I love that. There is one celebrity writer that I had to get to because it has become very famous. This is from 2015. It has been known as Guacamolegate. So Jack White was supposed to play a show at University of Oklahoma.

And in the writer, they said it started with this is a no banana. tour. I do not want to see a single banana anywhere, which seems like it'd be, this is the start of a weird joke writer of a weird artist who wants to seem cool. But then they got very specific about the meals. They had 29 people and they needed hot lunches, including a soup course during lunch. But where it got really weird is that they sent a guacamole recipe that was wildly thorough, that they wanted it homemade. And this is a particular pet peeve of mine, but they misspelled Haas avocado. People think it's Haas avocado, but it's a double S, not a double A. and so I immediately don't respect Jack White for this.

But eight large ripe, half the avocados, cut in half the long way, remove the pits, save the pits and slice into cubes with a butter knife, four slices down, three or four across. You'll scoop out the chunks with the spoon, careful to maintain the avocado in fairly large chunks, and then they advocate for putting the avocado pits back into the guacamole because somebody must have told the Jack White tour that that stops the guacamole from oxidizing.

It's simply not true whatsoever, so you're engaging in misinformation in that one. But this is a different. level and then the Oklahoma University newspaper published it and then Jack White's crew apparently threatened to sue the University of Oklahoma paper. Oh, you can't sue for that. Come on that. That's crazy though. There's no clause on your what do you sign? That's insane to sign a thing. I will do not post my writer. That's insane. These people are getting out of control. Sometimes fame gets people's head. Especially a student show. Do you do this may be a stupid question. Do you do a college show? I can't.

I did it's a college. They're adults. No, no, I've done a couple. I'm not telling you to go to BYU, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I've gone to a few and then, let's just say I've never gone back. I'm a little too much for those college kids.

Yeah, yeah. Have you been inspired throughout this to update your daughter writer? I have. I have. I like the flower idea. I think it's nice, but I also don't want to waste. Sure, sure, sure. Because then I can't even with me.

Yeah, yeah. But I'm definitely, I'm definitely going to, I want something to get me in my headspace, backstage, maybe some, like, music back there. or something. I don't know. It's going to be the same thing. I'm going to have the same thing. People don't change.

I don't. Sorry, I'm easy. Not that way, but I was. All right. The NFL playoffs are here. And Heath-the-Call NFL podcast with Dan Hansis and Mark Sessler is your destination for coverage of every round from Wild Card weekend to Super Bowl Sunday. Head-the-Call Sunday.

Head-the-call covers every game, every storyline, everything that matters. And we have fun. No fake hot takes. Just entertaining football talk from your favorite buds at the bar. Wait, Mark. Which bar? Well, like the typical neighborhood bar. We're the witty sports guys at a place like that.

Ah, I like that. Follow and listen to heed the call, wherever you get your podcasts. All right, Steph, we've heard it you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe. It's time for a segment we call opinions are like casseroles. All right, let's listen to that first opinion. How's you? My opinion, casserole.

Actually, it's more like a question, is is a fork with tines or a round fork? Incredible. Also, when I was younger, my mom used to make me something called pear sauce, and it was made of pears and avocados. Now looking back on that, that's kind of weird. But yeah, love you guys. Bye. Love you, too. When I was younger, that was a six-year-old child.

That was a 38-year-old woman. How did, no way. Yeah, your old woman, 100%. Are you serious? No, I think that was a small child. How does she, the fact that the small child was like, back when I was growing up, you still are. And you could smoke on airplanes back when she was growing up. Unbelievable.

I didn't realize that there was a visual here. We do have a visual. You do have a spork. Okay. But this is a very unique spark. So this is modeled after the sporks that Taco Bell used to have. Okay. They discontinued them in 2021.

But would you say that this is a spoon with tines or a fork with, a bowl. I'd say spoon with tines. Is that the wrong answer? No, I would 100% agree with you. I think, what I think is is a very astute question because I think at this point, you're going into sort of like an ontology and continental philosophy here. But there are other sporks that don't look like this. Some of them have very long tines and a very obvious bowl that was sort of crafted. Okay. So I think there's a continuum of more spoon heavy spork and fork heavy sporks. I mean, you seem to know a lot about this. So I'm going to let you take this one because I'm sitting here going that to me was just something to shovel food of my mouth. I'm not really looking at the pricks at the end.

I'm using my fingers. Sometimes when I'm on the road, they forget to give me my cutlery. I'm eating salads. I'm eating a lot of my fingers. Ground beef. We just got, we are just scooping. Some cultures only eat with the hands. This is my spork. It's just a scooping hand motion. I'm reading a book about the history

of utensils right now. Because I like the fucking party. Hey, you said we can't say that word. And I know. And I know. I'm so sorry. And that's a child. I'm going into the holiday. I'm so sorry. That's a child.

Sweet small summer child. The pear sauce, the avocados, and the pears. I think it's probably your mom trying to get some vegetables in you, trying to introduce them to you. Because when you said when I was younger, I can only imagine that that was three. It sounds like like a Gerber baby food. Like when you have like mixed in little glass things. Do you ever have that? Did you grow up in Gerber baby food?

I don't. Do you have memories of eating baby food? No, no, no. No. I don't have memories from under the age of 20. I drank a lot in college. No, I just remember like I remember seeing my sister, I think, eating it. Oh, here's another fact about me.

We're learning a lot about each other today. I had the Guinness Book World Records record for most baby food eaten in a minute. Are you serious? Yeah. Are you joking right now? I'm dead serious. Is this real? I can show you the plaque.

It's in my office. What? Do you have a plaque? Yeah, there's like video of me doing it. Really? Yeah, yeah, I did it. I think I maybe dressed as a baby. Well, okay, okay.

We started a show where I wanted to break a world. And I got pretty close on a couple. I stacked, I think, 109 scoops of ice cream on one cone. Oh, my gosh. And I guess I'm second all time on that. Somebody beat you out on that? Yeah, well, he got like 120. It was crazy.

Do these people have jobs? Well, here's the thing. His job is a professional gelato maker. Oh, okay. So he's really used to it. Also, he did his in a freezer. Oh, and you did yours? I did mine out in the Burbank room tent.

Well, that's not enough. You need that cold freezer. Yeah, yeah. And so then I figured the baby food, if I really just debase myself, for a minute and I use all of my, you know, kind of cross-fit training. Do you use?

No, spoon, but we tested a couple spoons. Okay, wow. I also tried it with a beer bong. How bad was your bell movement the next day? Not bad. Well, the good news is, though, it's kind of just one continuous.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your body did not have to convert anything. No, your body was also very confused as to why you were going that far back in the day. They're like, this is strange, huh? Is that your big brag? you're like I hate to slip this in but by the way when I was in grade 8th grade to you Americans

I tried to grow my armpit hair out to see if I got the longest and I got about a weekend and I had to wear a t-shirt and pool class I almost drowned so you know that didn't work for me and then I realized I don't care about this as much as clearly and you know what you got it out of the way early I did you could find that the journey is really yeah yeah not me and then the guy that I took the record from he re-brook it back and I've now failed twice at getting the record back

from Andre Ortol from Hamburg, Germany. And they don't take your plaque back? No, no, they could. Wow, that'd be hilarious from my cold dead hands. They came in. They're like, you know, does jar guys anymore?

He's what they don't tell you. You just have to like pay $2,500 to the plaque. It's just such a pyramid scheme. Make her on black. Okay. Make her own back here. Okay. Hey, Josh, Nicole,

and Nicole's unborn child. Jesse from Orlando here, first time caller, long-time listener. This definitely isn't the second time I'm calling, and I definitely didn't mess up the first time. As someone from North Carolina roots, I wanted

to get your Californian hot takes on the greatest of all breakfast meats, liver mush. If you guys are confused, just ask Rhett and Link, they'll know what you're talking about. Also, I wanted your thoughts on a hybrid dessert that I'm workshopping. In honor of my family's southern roots and my wife's

Cuban roots, I want to take the back of the box nilla wafer banana pudding recipe, but swap out the bananas with Maduro. Do you think it'll work? Would it not, Thank you. Oh, fuck. Okay, so we should address...

He didn't love your unborn child. Well, we should address about the unborn child. Okay. So there's normally another co-host called Nicole. Okay. Nicole is currently out on maternity leave, and Nicole's child is now born. Okay. So they must have left this message while unborn.

Yeah, yeah. I was like very confused. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what's going on right now. You're subject to do a lot. I think you for rolling with that. I'm really, I'm very good at improv. I don't know what liver mush is.

What is that? Livermush is. mush is... I'm assuming liver mushed up. Yeah, pretty much. That's it. But it's like with like cornmeal and just pig fat and all that kind of stuff. But there's a Northeast delicacy that I grew up eating called Scrapple.

It's like a very Amish-y kind of thing. It's just a brick of fried mush meat. Okay. I feel like there's got to be an equivalent in Canada. No. No. It's cold up there. Maybe like a maple syrup.

I don't know. They weren't eating much. They were sucking on meat and dipping into the snow. I don't know what they were doing up there. I really don't know anything. There's got to be a Canadian version. Liver mush. So what do you eat this with a cracker?

No, so you actually, you like fry it until it's crispy. So the cornmeal sort of gets crispy when you fry it and the fat renders out. And so it's like scrapple is what I can speak to. You set the liver mush into a sort of paté. You cut it while it's cold into a brick. And then you just sear that down and it like renders and gets crispy. Okay. And then you put that in a roll with typically grape jelly and mustard.

I don't like this. This is disgusting. Nobody likes this. You don't eat Scrapple because you like it. Eat it because it's there. Well, just don't put those things together. Why? You just don't eat them.

That makes no sense. Put the mustard. Why is the jam in there? Well, yeah, because, you know, the Scrapple tastes pretty bad, so you're going to want the mustard, but then it still tastes pretty bad, so you're going to want the jelly. I got to move there because I'm going to lose some weight. This is good. You really should. Yeah, this is perfect.

Oh, my gosh. I don't need a Zempick anymore. I'm going to go to a Mish food. And then the dessert, the banana pudding, but with Madurros with fried. plantains. That sounds good. I've done it. It's not.

I know. Have you done everything? What have you not done? I don't know. I feel like you're here in a very special day. I did this because I cooked for somebody's Fourth of July pool party. But I wanted a little bit of a conceptual menu. So I kind of did like a little which America are you talking about?

So I did an entire South American menu. Okay. So I kind of, you know, did like Jimmy Churry Smash burgers and all that kind of stuff. But I made this, this nilla wafer, except I used. There's just like Venezuelan coconut cookies instead of nil-wafers. Okay. But did the banana pudding with fried plantains. Fried plantains are a lot starchier, which is why you have to fry them.

And so starch, starch when it gets cold, it kind of hardens up. So if you imagine like a cold potato, cold mashed potatoes, there's hot mashed potatoes. Okay. Stark seizes up. And so the Maduro's when they were cold ended up, like, weirdly kind of hard and kind of ruin the entire pudding. Huh. Yeah. Ruin the entire pudding.

Do you have any cooking questions for me? You throw it out? No. No, we all got hammering. all of it, but like... Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do this thing too, where I cook something and I say, this is dog shit,

I hate this, I hate myself. Wow. And then everybody else is like, this is the best thing ever had. Thank you for this. Uh-huh. And I go, no, no, no, I can't love myself or my creation.

Wow. You can't love me or what I do. Huh. Yeah. I never do that. I just go, this sucks and we eat it anyways. I'm not very, I'm never home. Yeah.

And I have like four things I cook. I don't, I should, I wish I had some questions. I just, I'm just simply, my baking is so horrendous. I don't like following instructions. And I'm not listening to a teaspoon, and I'm putting too much in,

then it's a pile of salt, or that's dry as hell. I don't know what's going on. You and I'm in the same boat on baking. I can't even make a, I try to make a no-cooked protein ball, and I don't know, I wouldn't call that a ball,

and I wouldn't call that no-cook. I don't know what I ate. It was a pile of sand. I think you probably did it right. I think that's just what they end up as. No, I put way too much protein powder, and when you put your mouth, it was the Sahara Desert,

but I ate the whole thing. Because I was like, I'm not wasting. I can't waste. You have to start dry scooping. I need a spork. I need a spork. I need a sport.

I'd make you one more, two more. Hi, my name is Tanner. My opinion is I like to have popcorn at night. It's our nightly routine. And I tried out some chicken bouillon powder on my popcorn. And it was delicious. Thanks. This guy's living on the end.

You're dangerous, Tanner. I can't believe that. thought that this was going to be a crazy take. Hey, get this. At night, popcorn. Call the police. I can't do popcorn. I can't stand when a colonel gets in my tooth.

It ruins the whole meal. I have to get up and get it out the whole time. But I like the Dill Pickle seasoning. And I love movies. I doubt that was when it got that free butter over there. Oh, the butter. Oh, that liquid butter. Oh, it's so gross.

I love it. I'm not a liquid butter guy because when your hand gets too liquid buttery, just like hydrogenated fat so when that gets cold, it kind of hardens onto your fingers, like wax. You don't like hard things, do you? Don't like hard things. I like my, no, but what I'm, there's a warning on this episode. I'm drinking at least 128 ounces of Coke Zero, and especially if they got one of those, uh, the freestyle machines. Yes. Where you can put like grape flavoring in it. Oh, you're slopping in some new stuff. Yeah, yeah. And so my hand is constantly cold with the grape Coke Zero. So you can't have the, I'm pissing four times during Dune 2. You don't want butter. Well, I mean, Dune 2,

we're all pissing four times. It's way. too long. It's a great piss movie. It's all I remember was pissing. And I missed the weird sex scenes in that. I didn't see anything. I was pissing. It was like a black and white,

a dude bald. Didn't see it. Vampires? There were vampires when I got back. Maybe I didn't see this movie. Austin Butler, he's like a, I don't know blackness out of the popcorn. I see was he sucking butter out of the popcorn machine.

That's what I call pissing. My head is under the butter. All right, baggie, line one up. Hey guys, it's Sage from Pittsburgh. I just saw on Reddit that Tillamook is introducing a butter nays product. Yes.

I'm still in shock. So I kind of need you guys to be aware of it and tell me how to feel about it. Thank you. Love Tillamook. Love Tillamook. I do. I do. I'm a big Tillamook cat.

Love the cheese. What is this? Butternese. Have you ever, like, put mayonnaise on the outside of a grilled cheese and grilled it? I have not. It's really good because it's just eggs and oil, so it kind of cooks into a nice, a nice greasy sheen on top, but they're getting the best of both worlds

with butternades, and it's meant to be spread on a grilled cheese. Just specifically for grilled cheese. Yeah, pretty much. Man, college fat, Steph would love this. This sucks. Bring her back, Steph. No, we got L.A.

L.A. Staff can't have this. No, come on. Calgary, Steph can't. Calgary Steff can, for sure. L.A. Steph has to go home and do a workout after even looking at that. This is crazy. That seems, how long does that last?

Forever? Yeah, there's no, what would go bad at that? That's just pure fat and salt. It's great. No, I don't know if I can get behind that. Butternays. It looks, it's a weird consistency it's looking like. Yeah, a lot of the pictures of it outside the jar seem to be kind of chunky.

I will say this is a relatively popular Vietnamese thing. I grew up in a big Vietnamese neighborhood in North County. Okay, okay. And so they would mix like a very egg yolk rich mayonnaise with butter, and they would smear that on the bun meat. Was they making it fresh? Yeah, they're making it fresh. Okay, yeah, that's... They would just sell it in like loose, like red solo cups, too.

Oh. I was buying my Vietnamese butternays loose. Wow. This sounds like it's off the black market It's crazy What do you want in Facebook marketplace? You're like, I need some spreads Wander around man

Wander around Little Saigon and get it And so there is like a precedent For this and other cuisines Huh Hey Josh Hey Nicole Hey Maggie This is Sam from Oakland

California, the greatest city in the world And I'm calling with a Opinion Cash roll That may be a little strange I am a Jimbrough Meathead. Shout out, Josh. And I eat a lot of chicken breast.

It's not dry. It's wet. And I buy it from Costco. Oh, now, now listening. And they're cooking some right now. I don't know if you can hear it. I just flipped it. And I buy it from Costco.

And it comes vacuum sealed and there's like these juices inside of it. And my opinion casserole is that I cook the juices because they're all protein and they kind of cook like egg white. and then it's cool fast so when I'm waiting for my chicken breast to finish cooking

no he eats those pieces I eat the chicken breast juice scrambled egg white thing and it's really tasty and I eat it I love the pod no

I love you this is a single man God bless us everyone Jim head man hey you got grilled dinner this is this is boy munching right here This is Bolly Munchin. I rinse my chicken.

I take it out and I rinse it. I feel like whatever that juice is is bad juice. That's drizzled off juice. That's Costco, Kirkland, warehouse juice. I don't know what that is. Don't call that chicken scraps. That's bad juice. Chicken wetness.

Chicken sweat. I can speak to this from like an actual like food safety standpoint. So rinsing your chicken has been proven to be significantly more dangerous than not rinsing chicken. Water droplets can pick up the salmon. and just sort of deposit them within an eight-foot radius. You're effectively spraying your kitchen salmonella. Well, wait. I'm not putting, I'm not putting a fire hose.

Yeah, okay, okay. No, but you don't have water droplet? You know, you can go far and why. No, that's the stupid person. The NHS had to put out a PSA about don't wash your chicken. I'm renting. You think my water pressure is that high? Are you insane in Los Angeles?

It's a slow dribble of rust water. I have to like really beat it in there. That's crazy. That's the reasoning. But the thing you're most worried about in chicken is salmonella. Right? Of course. But salmonella, the insta kill temperature is 165.

So no matter what, you get your chicken 165, which is USDA fully cooked temp. All that salmonella is dead, no matter what funky juices were on it. Okay. So technically what he's doing, infinitely grosser, but infinitely more safe than what you're doing. Wow. Because what he's eating is something called albumen, which is the egg whitey thing you're talking about. So you're right that the chicken juices have protein. The word albumin is not edible.

This is a problem. This should be on the periodic table. Al Bumin is at the bottom. Yeah, I'm trying to show you. This is gross. Al Buman is not... You don't go to a restaurant, but make guess who would serve that? Deer and almond in Winnipeg.

Al Buman. This is like white shliem on the salmon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate that. The white shleam on the salmon. No, I have to throw that out. It makes me sick. Well, he's eating it straight out of the bag.

No, that's, I can't, you know what? You know what? That guy better be jacked. He better have the little gutters at the side. He better have a full. If you're eating Al Bumon, you better be yoked up. If you don't bench 125 kilos at least. one rep max. I think you've got to stop eating the albumin.

Unbelievable. Well, on that upsetting note, Steph, thank you so much. I was hungry. Thank you. Now I'm feeling pretty good. Yeah, between the liver mush and this dude eating albumin out of the fan. Where can people find you? On Instagram, I'm at Steph Tolev. Everything's on there. My ticket links. I'm touring a lot, a lot every weekend. So come see me. Oh, yeah. I'm going to post up in the front row every single L.A. show.

Please don't. Man spreading looking weird, extra dry in the hands. Thank you all so much for listening to a hot dog as a sandwich. If you want to be featured on opinions, you like castorls. Give us a ring and leave a quick message at 833 Dog Pod 1. You can leave a message too if you want. Sure. Oh, I should also say I have a podcast. Oh, yeah.

Keep telling them where you're at. Sorry. I forgot. Steph infection. I have a podcast that's not about food. You should come do mine. It's all about body stuff. And you're Mr. Jack.

That's called Steph infection. Yes, it's all about body-related stuff. Not for kids. Please listen to that. I would love it. I'm very, very free with my body. I feel like I would do well in a nudist colony. For more mythical kitchen,

Is that the kind of vibe on the podcast? No, you're closed or you're not coming in. For more Mythical Kitchen, check out our other videos. We launch new episodes every week. We'll see y'all next time.