A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Crunchy vs. Smooth Peanut Butter

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

It's peanut butter podcast time and you're not gonna want to Skippy this one. This crunchy vs smooth face off is about to be nuts. Today, we're asking which is better: crunchy or smooth peanut butter? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Hey, if this podcast sounds a little bit different, we're doing this from home again, because Josh keeps forgetting to bring his mic back to the studio. Where he at? Where he at? Where he at? Where he at? There he go. There he go. There he go. There he go. Folks, it's peanut butter podcast time, and you're not going to want to skippy this one. This crunchy versus smooth face- off is about to be nuts. This is a hot dog is a sandwich.

Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer.

And I'm your host, Nicole Hendizadeh. And today, Nicole, we're taking on a classic. This is a classic debate. And this is one that we haven't touched in our first roughly year-ish of podcasting. I guess it's only been like 10 months or something. It feels like longer. I can't, I don't remember a time in my life when we didn't host this podcast. Exactly. It feels like it's been ingrained in my bloodstream or something. And it's always been within me, you know?

I think it has been. Is that weird? Yes. Like the Matrix downloaded this podcast into your brain while you were being harvested for battery energy for robots. That's how I feel all the time. Yeah, pretty much.

Nicole, we're doing crunchy versus smooth peanut butter. Wow. I think I know where you stand because you and I exist around each other too much. One, i think we can safely say that we exist around each other too much but we've seen each other's peanut butter preferences in action but i'll i'll let you i'll let you say it what's what's your preference okay so i love crunchy peanut butter a lot can i tell you why yeah i think that's the whole point of this podcast. Okay, I'm going to tell you why.

I love crunchy peanut butter because it's like the perfect amount of smooth, delicious nut butter. And then it's that nice little crunch that reminds you you're eating a nut. And that's where I stand. But you're not eating a nut. Yeah, you are. You're eating a product that is made out of nuts. It's legumes, Nicole. No, actually, I hate the peanuts and legumes, people. Oh, my God.

Don't do that to me. No, we've discussed this enough. Peanuts are not legumes. Theyle no actually i hate the peanuts people i know i know we've discussed this enough peanuts are not legumes they're nuts it's called a peanut it's called nut butter like peanut butter is closer to almond butter than it is to hummus but i guess our chickpeas legumes god one of us should read a book one day what's a book i think it's like a podcast but like it kills trees oh then what's the point of it? Yeah, I think we should probably just burn all the books. Yeah, yeah. Book burning has gotten a negative connotation throughout history,

but I think you can view it as a positive thing. It keeps you warm during the winter. Is it good for the environment to burn books? Yeah, because if paper kills trees, you need to burn the paper so that it stops killing. I think crunchy peanut butter spits in the face of God. Here's why. Here's why. Why?

I think nut butter, I think the point of it is you're taking a product that was once crunchy and then you are turning that into a smooth product by butterifying it. And I think that's the beauty of it. And I think crunchy peanut butter, it's very hard to spread, right, onto a sandwich a sandwich no it's not i i prefer actually no no no no no let me just stop you right there it's not hard it's the same exact consistency except there's just little dots of nut in it you're being dramatic for no you're being extra right now and i don't need you to be extra i need you to be honest with yourself, me and the listeners. What's dramatic about saying crunchy peanut butter spits in the face of God?

I don't think that's quite true. No, no, no. I don't care about that part at all. What I care about is you saying it's not as easy to spread. That is a lie, like a blatant lie. It's definitely not as easy to spread. You can debate. You can debate, Nicole, how much I think that crunchy that crunchy peanut butter is life ruiningly difficult to spread.

I think it actually deteriorates. It depends. I'm so upset at you right now. Are we talking? There's there is a myriad of different crunchy peanut butter consistencies and experiences out there. Maybe I've only had extra crunchy peanut butter that's like cold coming out of the fridge or something. Maybe that's what I'm referring to. But either way, it's going to be harder to spread than smooth peanut butter. And I think that we can agree on.

And I think for me, peanut butter- I think that is, I think you're just lying to lie to make your stance stronger. It's not easier or harder. It's the same exact consistency. It's just, it has the addition of little bits. That's it. Yeah, those little bits are what makes the consistency harder to spread.

Like, that's a huge difference. I'm about to go into my... You see me pointing to my door. I'm about to go in my kitchen right now and give... Because I have two kinds of peanut butter because I'm a two peanut butter household. And I'm going to show you how it's literally the same exact thing. There might be a little bit of drag, like a minute, like microscopic. What do you mean might be a little bit of drag?

Of course there's going to be drag. A minute of drag? There's extra friction. The chunks are the friction. They get caught in the holes of the bread. And I'm a man who likes delicate bread. Nicole, I like delicate bread, okay? Maybe my bread's too delicate.

Maybe I'm too strong. Nicole, I like delicate bread, okay? Maybe my bread's too delicate. Maybe I'm too strong. This point you're trying to make is so false that it's making me angry. Like, literally, I'm mad at you for the first time during this podcast. Nicole, I don't want this to get in the way of our personal and professional relationship. All right, like, I need to get that out there.

Tell me another reason why it's better. Okay, okay, okay okay okay okay it's not as good in my smoothies no i i like to use peanut butter as an ingredient in things as well and i think crunchy peanut butter is less dynamic than smooth peanut butter with that i would rather here's what i do nicole i love peanuts peanuts are my favorite food i don't know about my favorite food. Peanuts are definitely the best nut. Like when people put out a tray of mixed party nuts, right? And you get like the Brazil nuts in like the pecans and in the macadamias. I don't need that. I just want, I just want a bowl of peanuts. Even like the red skin peanuts with the skin on. Oh, those are the best. Yeah. Oh my God. I love shell and peanuts at ball games. Peanuts are one of my favorite foods and I love cooking with peanut butter. What I do is I will keep smooth peanut butter and crunchy roasted peanuts separately.

And if I want the crunch, I will add it myself. It's the reason, it's the same reason I buy unsalted butter. Same reason I buy unsalted butter. I do not buy salted butter because I can control the salt levels. Yeah, so you're on my side. Yeah, when it comes to butter, I'm on your side, but not with peanut butter.

Also, listen, I was actually talking about this with my fiance because he's like, you know, Josh is going to bring up smoothies my side yeah when it comes to butter i'm on your side but not with peanut butter also listen i was actually talking about this with my fiancee because he's like you know josh is gonna bring up smoothies and i'm like i do know he's gonna bring up smoothies wait wait wait wait you prep you prep for these podcasts with your fiancee you prep no arguments no no no uh well let me tell you so like he just wants to know what my schedule is and what I'm doing because he's curious about my life. So he asked me like, hey, what are you going to debate later this week? And I tell him what I'm going to debate. And then he's like, ooh, what cider you want?

And he also really likes peanut butter. And he's like, you know, Josh is going to rig up smoothies. I'm like, I know. And he's probably going to try to get me to falter on that. But I'm not going to let it happen because smoothies are just one stop. Yes, Josh. Yes, I do prep. It's like preparing a witness for a deposition. that but i'm not gonna let it happen because smoothies are just one stop yes josh yes i do preparing it's like preparing a witness for a deposition it's like you know he's gonna bring up the fact that the glove was found in your car what is your response yeah i was saying what did

he say to the smoothie point i want to know he said yeah he has a point i'm like yeah i know he has a point but a smoothie but see i'm not a smoothie drinker i don't drink smoothies i don't make smoothies i don't i don't do milkshakes i like to do a cold pressed juice because that's the kind of girl i am and i'm not putting peanuts through a juicer so you can i was just thinking about that can you make peanut juice i think it would be peanut milk in the canon of of nut milks i think it would like fresh but like fresh peanuts like i'm not talking about like roasted dry peanuts that we typically get. Like a raw peanut?

Yeah. Have you ever seen like a fresh, like have you ever had a fresh raw almond that's like still in the, it comes in like a green husk. We call it charlebadum in Farsi. Ah. What do you use it in? We put salt and lemon on it. It's like a snack.

Ooh. Yeah. It's real good. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah. I love fresh almonds. I've never had a fresh peanut though. I didn't even know that existed.

Me neither. Does that even exist? It's got to exist. You ever have boiled peanuts? I've had boiled peanuts. Are those the peanuts at Five Guys? No, those are roasted shallot peanuts. No, boiled peanuts.

What? Sorry. Okay. It was funny. Boiled peanuts are really big in the the american south but they're also a big like vietnamese snack and so i used to eat them all the time it looks like on but that is like one of my absolute favorite snacks so i think for me i like to experience the whole panoply of peanut experiences out there and so i like to keep my peanuts separate from the butter that way

i can incorporate it myself but i understand that peanut eaters are not monoliths. No. Peanut butter consumers are not. And that people have different reasons. They have different motivations. Josh, you know what my issue is? I love Laura Scudder's peanut butter, but their smooth peanut butter is a little crunchy.

So what do I do about that? Wait, okay. I know exactly what you're talking about with Laura Scudder's smooth peanut butter. I wouldn't call it crunchy. I'd say it's gritty it's gritty like the city of phil like the city of philadelphia it's a gritty peanut butter but that is a good point that like a lot of the new school peanut butters and so i've been just dropping i'm i'm not a very big baller i don't spend money on very many things nicole is always in the office being like, Josh, is this $900 bag that's on sale for $490 worth it? And I'm like, I don't, I would not pay $12 for that bag. I use free,

I use free totes that I got from the food events eight years ago. Um, so different values, but I went to the store recently, uh, or I, I like ordered groceries for delivery. Uh, and it was just like way more expensive than it normally was i was like man that's that's like 150 bucks for like you know four days for the groceries what am i buying and then i realized i spent 65 on nut butter and ice cream oh well there you go oh yeah i'm a fancy boy when it comes to nut butters but like my all-time go-to will always be skippy naturals i know that you leave your peanut butter spoon on the table often that is something i do and that is something I do.

And that is something that I'm working actively to correct going into 2021. What happens is I make almost... No, you're not. Stop. I already have too many goals. My main goal for 2021 isn't to grow the channel or increase the podcast reach. None of that. It's just to not lose a single receipt.

That's my goal. That is my one work goal. Why are you laughing can do it i can do it because i've started doing it because you have taught me to start losing my receipts bro you have literally like gone into my brain and said these things are important these things are not but it turns out all of them are important josh i sent javelin like a three paragraph Slack message apologizing sincerely for losing receipts. And I was like, I vow, Javelin, I vow going forward. I will not lose one single receipt. So help me God.

And I plan on that. But anyways, back to nut butter. The point is the new school nut butters that are very fancy. Like there's a couple of brands. Justin's is one of the big ones, right? They're kind of jumping on the bandwagon that Laura's got her started with the natural movement. For sure. I'm not the big Justin's fan.

I think they do almond butter well. I don't like their peanut butter. But there's one called Wild Friends. It's got like a cute little squirrel. Oh my God. They make a peanut butter, which peanut butter to be peanut butter by definition has to be at least 90% peanuts by weight,

which is very cool. And so I don't know if they can legally call this peanut butter, but anyways, it's a chocolate and coconut oil peanut butter. Yo, I've had Earth Balance. Dude, the Earth Balance peanut butter, coconut butter. Oh my gosh. It's like my favorite condiment. Dude, I agree.

And especially as someone who, I use peanut butter for smoothies a lot and I make primarily peanut butter and banana sandwiches that I think people heard me talk about about I put in the microwave for eight seconds just to loosen up the peanut butter and get the bread a little bit softer and it is one of my favorite treats in the world but this freaking wild friends chocolate coconut peanut butter holy crap but it is it like walks that Laura Scudder's line between crunchy and smooth it's by definition smooth because it's it doesn't have the added chunks of peanuts back into it, but it's gritty. So you don't get that like pure kind of

silken, very unnatural texture that you would get from Skippy Naturals, but it's also not, you know, kind of crunchy because when you make crunchy peanut butter, right, they're not just like stopping the process. They're literally folding chopped peanuts into the peanut butter. Maybe that's why I like it because it reminds me that I'm eating a nut product. Like maybe it's just that unnatural silky smoothness where I'm like, oh, this is all hydrogenated oils mixed into this at like a high temperature that's causing it to be so smooth. Maybe that's like my block.

I think there is something to the idea of adult nut butters. Adult butters? Not like they idea of adult nut butters adult butters not not like like they're they're like adult butters adult butters just you should call them adult butters i don't like the idea of adult butter adult butter sounds like a a very cleverly marketed type of personal lubricant yeah you know like it like it looks like sticks of butter like it looks like yes uh-huh i'm picking up what you're putting down joshie uh but what i'm saying is like like you said you like the crunchy peanut butter because it feels more natural because it's connecting you to the whole

nut product itself whereas like i i don't think i could go to the store with a clear conscience and buy just like Peter Pan peanut butter. I mean, I could and I will. But like there's part of me that would be like, you should get the Laura's gutters because it's got less whatever additives that I think. It's the same as like I wouldn't I couldn't go to a store and just get like Go-Gurt. That would feel very weird as an adult. I'm like, yeah, I'm like, you have a 401k. You can't be out here eating Go-Gurt.

No, that's how I feel, I guess. It's like I've matured with my food. Yeah, but do you think that's fair? Should we just lean into the pleasure of adult butter? Should we just lean into the pleasure? So typically I'm a very hedonistic person and I act on my impulses and I've always been that way since I was a youth. You're such a Gemini.

Sometimes you got to grow up, up you know and like you can't just do things for pleasure 24 7 because how do you know what pleasure is if you have pleasure all the time you know you gotta know what uh suffering is so sometimes you gotta get the the gritty peanut butter to have the smooth to have other smooth moments like nutella you know what i'm saying that's actually you know what the messed up part about that Nutella you know what I'm saying that's actually you know what the messed up part about that is you know what I'm talking about you understand yeah yeah it's not even that I understand it's that is the perfect type of argument to sway me like we've done like we said at least 10 years of this podcast or so we imagine we have and no like

real logical argument do I seem to be able to comprehend. But when you start bringing stuff up, like you can't know pleasure without pain. Therefore, you need to eat the gritty peanut butter to make the smooth Nutella taste better experientially. That's an argument that I can really get down with. Yeah. And I think I agree. Yeah.

Sometimes you need to to suffer to enjoy the good things in life. And let me tell you the gritty peanut butter isn't bad necessarily but again it's that smooth

almost almost illegal tasting skippy jiff Peter Pan peanut butters that make you feel like this is bad like I shouldn't be

enjoying this as much as I should. You know what I mean? It's this weird psychological thing, I guess, for me. No, I guess it's funny how much like almond butter has been co-opted by the like weird wellness food movement where, you know, everyone's making the, you throw it in your overnight oats, you put it on top of an acai bowl or whatever. And like, I have no idea if almond butter is better for you than peanut butter at all. I don't know.

I guess, but the fact is that there were less like processed almond butters on the market. And so everyone got these gritty separated almond butters and it was like, healthy, tastes like sand, you know? But what I'm saying is it depends what you want out of your peanut butter, if you view it as utility food, or if you view it as like something you're eating for pleasure, you know, and I go back and forth between the two. Sometimes I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm busy, I need just like calories, I want some like, fat and fiber and whatever. So like, let's put a piece of peanut butter on or a scoop of peanut butter on some wheat bread, fold in my mouth and eat it. I'll put it in a protein shake. But then sometimes

on a nice treat. And so I put some marshmallow fluff and peanut butter on Wonder Bread. And that's about the best tasting food I can imagine. Yeah, I love fluffer nutter sandwiches, too. But I think I do like almond butter more than peanut butter. The older that I've gotten, the more I've realized like the taste and the flavor of almond butter is like leaps and bounds better than peanut butter. Really? For me, at least. I love almond butter. Well, also, I don't know. I feel like I'm around people that have peanut allergies. So I'm like trying to be considerate. And so the cookie crumbles. Nicole's coming at this from a biased perspective. She's trying to sustain life.

She doesn't want to kill her friends. No, I don't think one of the most disappointing moments of my life. That's dramatic. Why do I say so many dramatic things? But they were doing a GMM episode that was like, you know, some sort of nut butter taste test. And I think I was like alone in the office. And they just had like 14 different kind of nut butters just like sitting out in the kitchen. And there was Brazil nut butter. There was pistachio butter there was all this stuff and i was like oh

my god what a treasure trove i'm gonna take all these home i'm gonna put in my smoothies i'll make nut butter sandwiches and every single one i tasted was freaking disgusting it was yeah and they like don't even have like a lot of nuts don't seem to have the consistency to be able to be ground and stored like that like there's just way too much oil per fiber that doesn't get it to blend like that um or like the brazil nut one is just so so so bitter yeah have you had any like alt nut product other than almond butter that competes yeah i've had pistachio butter before but again i think it was fortified with like powdered sugar and like a bunch of different like, like guar gums and xanthan gums to help it come together. But I've never had like

straight nut butter without any additive in it the way that you're talking about. Yeah, it's gross. It just made me appreciate peanut butter so much more like even the natural stuff like Laura's gutters. It just made me like appreciate it as a treat in and of itself. Josh, do you want to know something interesting? Yes. About what your peanut butter preference says about you? Yeah, wait, you're talking about the, it was a survey that was done from Peanut Butter & Co, right?

Yes. I'm fascinated. I'll go ahead and say what this says. So a survey conducted by one poll on behalf of natural food brands, Peanut Butter Co, says that a smooth, that smooth has, well,

whatever, this is stupid. Smooth peanut butter eaters are more introverted, more likely to avoid confrontation, like to arrive to work early, most likely to report to stay in on a Saturday night, most likely to be rational with love, fans of the Big Bang Theory,

and likely to bail onale on plans now crunchy peanut butter eaters are more extroverted more likely to arrive late most satisfied in their love lives more gore or goal oriented fans of game of thrones more likely to compete in chess tournaments and more confident so this is just like that survey and this is based on like actual data from respondents but yes i think like there is a slight majority of people like i think 61 or so of america prefers smooth peanut butter and then like 39 crunchy but all that said is like smooth peanut butter lovers are lame and kind of dull and basic crunchy peanut butter lovers are just like out there

experiencing everything life has to offer. And I don't agree with that. I don't, I under, I believe in the data, Nicole, I believe in science. I'll take the vaccine as soon as it's out. But all I'm saying is I feel like crunchy peanut butter lovers need to seek the joy in smooth peanut butter more i think they need to to really love its monotexture for what it is i think you know what this is i got soft teeth i got soft teeth that's all it is i don't oh really i didn't know that like he was like oh the guy who who mushes his bananas into a paste before he eats them of course he likes smooth peanut butter no but i don't you know i don't think you always need textural contrast to obstruct food i love leaning into the smoothest peanut butter but i do respect your opinion of inflicting pain deliberately on yourself i'm

acting like people put thumbtacks in peanut butter and it's not just a delightful crunch yeah you're being so dramatic i feel like it's because you are like you see yourself as the peanut butter czar for some reason you feel like responsible because because you consume so much of it i feel like you like have some sort of like harbored emotions deeply with it and i'm just a damn peanut fan just a casual peanut fan i bought a large tub of peanut butter one of the big 32 ouncers you know and i was like this is gonna hold me over for a while. And I meant to get smooth. And it was skippy natural. And I accidentally got crunchy. That thing has lasted me months because I do not want to eat it. There is like there's never a time in which I actively want crunchy over smooth. I've made a couple sandwiches that I've put it in smoothies. It

just makes it gritty. It is not something I want to eat. And it's it sucks. Maybe I wish Nicole, I wish that I could experience the joys of crunchy peanut butter. I want the relationship that you have with your peanut butter. Do you ever stand in front of the refrigerator and eat spoonfuls of peanut butter? Wait, you refrigerate your peanut butter? Sometimes. Or do you just grab the peanut butter out of the cupboard, then go open the fridge? So it just blows cold air.

For a light source. I do refrigerate my peanut butter, but I don't like source. I do refrigerate my peanut butter, but I don't like the fact that I refrigerate my peanut butter. I live with my parents, and my parents want to refrigerate it, okay? When I'm in my own house and in my own cupboard, I'm going to put it in the darn cupboard. But for now, I've got to adhere to Morris and Shiloh's rules of the house.

And it makes me upset, but there's nothing I can do about it. Someone go break Nicole out of her self-imposed prison. I'm leaving soon. Hopefully. I need a wine cellar. I need a wine cellar for my peanut butter. Here, what we've learned.

What we've learned is that peanut butter experience, it is deeply preferential. I don't think there's any virtue in crunchy or smooth peanut butter i'm kind of fascinated by the survey results uh that indicate that smooth peanut butters like myself are just absolute lame-os who don't leave the house and they shut themselves in you like big bang theory i love big bang theory people are such haters i love that show sheldon great character b character. Bazinga, indeed. You know, I want a wine cellar kept at exactly 56 degrees to keep my peanut butter in because the cupboard's too warm and the fridge is too cold. But I think all that signifies is that this is all deeply personal and that you

should love yourself for the peanut butter inside your own heart. And that, Nicole, that's the true crunchy. i think i just had a stroke all right nicole we've heard what you and i have to say now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the universe it's time for a segment we call what was that? Was it some found footage horror movie? Yeah, I've been watching a lot of those. All right.

At Action Gordon says, Brioche is only good for French toast. Keep it away from my burgers. I think at some point brioche, it's like aioli where the term stopped meaning what it actually is. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Because like brioche is like almost like it's kind of a hybrid between pastry and bread, supposedly in like the French canon. And it's supposed to be like kind of, you know, this very crusty, heavily egg washed exterior and then kind of bready, airy, but, you know, slightly like almost dense and dry, but incredibly buttery center. But now I feel like when people call a hamburger bun brioche, it just kind of means like we put a bunch of butter in a standard white bread dough. Any burger bun that is listed as brioche, I tend to like, but I would challenge whether

it actually is brioche. Well, whatever a brioche bun is, I like it on my burgers. So I don't think it's only reserved for French toast. I think it's a beautiful sandwich bread. I think it's a beautiful standalone bread. I think it's great on burgers on anything else. I think it became a class issue. And I'm serious. Like we had we had the fancy burger movement, right? And like the early 2010s, where you know, umami burger and start charging like 15 bucks for a burger, and they put all these fancy ingredients on it. And then now you have this extreme reaction to the other side where people are like, McDonald's is as good as it ever got. And you got people making $4 smash burgers on squishy white buns.

And so I think the anti-brioche movement has some class implications, whether it's legitimate or not. I love smash burgers. Yeah, I just, they're hard to do. John underscore, underscore, underscore Harrington says, spaghetti is the best way to eat chili What?

Like a bed of spaghetti? Yeah dude Cincinnati style baby You never had chili spaghetti? No I've never been to Cincinnati What am I gonna do in Cincinnati? What do you mean? You can go catch a Reds game You can go catch a Bengals game

You can go catch a Bearcats game That's all I know about Cincinnati I don't know anything about sports. Come on, man. They probably have like bridges in Cincinnati. No, but that's a big Cincinnati thing. You put the Skyline chili with all the shredded yellow cheese on top of spaghetti. You know what that pretty much is?

I've seen photos of it. I know what it is, but like I've never had it before. But I have had pulled pork on top of spaghetti and that's good. Yeah, North Carolina barbecue spaghetti. That is really fire. never had it before but i have had pulled pork on top of spaghetti and that's good yeah north carolina barbecue spaghetti that is really fire chili like american chili with spaghetti especially with how like kind of sweet and cinnamony the cincinnati style chili is is really really similar to filipino spaghetti i love i just realized god i want filipino spaghetti right now with the shredded american cheese on top and especially with the hot dogs and the sauce and all the ketchup

yeah it's so good my favorite way to eat chili though is called a chili size have you ever heard of a chili size never have i ever it's just a bed of a hamburger bun or some similar roll and you just cover it in chili so it's like the the crouton on top of soup and onion it's like that except it's just wet bread underneath a bowl of chili that to me is the best way to eat chili i love fat soaked bread like what's the term for for the lavash under under kabob so it's a euphemism nunzir kababi means uh the girl who so there's a girl who's getting married and the younger sibling is the nunzir kabobby, which is the delicious, luscious part under the kabob. I don't necessarily agree with metaphors that involve consuming women, but I do think that that is a very powerful one. Yes.

All right, we got, I am Tim Jarrett. Flaming hot Cheetos taste better when they're stale. They get a popcorn like texture too. I know exactly what he's talking about. Horrible, horrible, horrible. Yeah, I vehemently disagree. But I think there are foods that do taste better when they're stale and when they've let sit out.

Like my favorite thing, the best dessert in the world is you just let a buttercream sit out at room temp in the open air for about eight hours. And it gets the crusty on it. That's my favorite thing. I know exactly what you're like, like the crackling top on top of buttercream. You know what my favorite is? Raw cookie dough, but it's room temp. Raw room temp cookie dough is my favorite thing.

You got to let it just kind of air dry for a couple hours. You have to let it weep. No, you have to let it weep a little bit and then it also- Oh, you like the sweaty. I like it a little sweaty. And then it also has like a weird like crystallized top on it too because of the air hitting the sugar. So I'm in the same ballpark as you, but I like mine to be cookie dough.

Yeah. I think we get where Tim Jarrett is coming from on the idea of letting, letting foods age in the open air until they're a little stale but i don't agree with flaming hot cheetos also it takes a while for flaming hot cheetos to get stale who can have a bag of flaming hot cheetos for that long no oh my gosh i can clean that stuff up in like a day like a minute okay sarah10892 says cold pizza taco the pizza is the shell uh so you so so you out here putting taco stuff in a pizza and folding it up like a like a taco okay i mean that's not my kind of thing but whatever here why cold why cold you could heat the pizza up it would fold a lot easier if you

heated it up i don't agree i don't i'm not a huge cold pizza fan i know why because i know why they're doing this it's because the way that the sauce and the cheese melt into one amorphous being with the bread creates a level of like cheesy sauciness for them i understand i understand this it took me while, but after decoding it in my brain for like 15 seconds, I know where you're coming from. I love cold pizza, so this makes sense to me. No, well, you know what? I have just been eating a lot of cold lasagna straight out of the pan recently, and I think I'm starting to understand the cold pizza appeal. My life is really exciting right now. Same. All right. Danny Jentz, salsa mixed with cottage cheese as a dip yeah i love it do

you remember when pete budaj during the i think it was pete budaj during during the primaries talked about salsa ranch no do you know what i'm talking about no i don't apparently it's so budaj right he's from he's from indiana go hoosiers um but he talked about salsa ranch which is apparently a popular Midwestern condiment and restaurants will serve it where they just mix ranch with salsa. And I, that's one of my favorite things. It's something creamy mixed with something spicy.

It's basically hot sauce, mayonnaise, but salsa ranch. However, cottage cheese to me, I don't think it's bad. I just, I don't want the chunks much like I don't want crunchy peanut butter. I want my peanut butter smooth, but i respect people who like it crunchy i want smooth salsa ranch not salsa cottage cheese yeah the salsa and the cottage cheese just too many textures going on it wouldn't work for me but if it was cream cheese and salsa that's a different story i love i love this uh especially like all those tasty videos really seem to kick off an entire generation that just blends cream cheese with various things and then bakes it and calls it whatever food dip, like the buffalo chicken dip.

Yes. Yeah, and I'd crap on it if it wasn't also delicious. I know. Cream cheese is like the great equalizer of food. Cassidy Go-Go. The only proper way to pronounce fusilli is fun silly okay i'm gonna psychoanalyze you right now okay so when you were a kid your parent put a plate of pasta in front of you and then they're like you're like what kind of pasta is this and then the parent was like oh

honey it's fusilli and you're like fun silly and then the parent was like, oh, honey, it's Fusili. And you're like, Fusili. And then the parent was like, oh, yeah. I think that's beautiful. I think Cassidy has probably a great relationship with their parents or a terrible one, in which case I'm going to feel really bad. This reminds me, my brother, there's like urban legend in my family that when my brother, once when he was a small child, was sick he was demanding soup but he couldn't pronounce soup so he said poop toop and it was a specific brand of progresso uh the progresso chicken noodle soup and like from then on throughout my entire childhood the progresso chicken noodle soup was called poop toop uh and so yeah yeah it's fun dad stuff it's fun dad stuff

fun silly is fun dad stuff it's not the stuff fun silly is fun dad stuff it's not the only proper way to pronounce it but it's a fun dad way to pronounce it and that's what's important yes agreed all right we got coop.spammo sweet onion is the most underrated subway sauce i agree with that oh my god i i love sweet onion it when the sweet onion chicken teriyaki came out that was an absolute game changer at the Subway. I had a buddy, Chad, he used to order it cold all the time. And I used to have to watch him every time at the Subway when he was like, don't put the chicken in the microwave. And they're like, why not?

And he was like, I want it cold. And they're like, I don't know if we can serve it to you cold. And he was like, just do it. Just give it to me. But anyways, the sweet onion sauce. People just found out that they love sugar sugar on their food and that's basically just like pouring simple syrup on your sandwich and it makes it really delicious i love sweet onion sauce i was a subway girl when i would go so my school when i was growing up was right next

to this bumping street called beverly drive so you would go in like your school school like gym uniform and you would walk to beverly drive okay and it was really cool and everyone would like go to different places there was like a chipotle there was a sand side there was a pizza place whatever i would be a subway girl and i would go and i would get my tuna sandwich on wheat bread the center pulled out everything on there extra pepperoncinis. Wait, I'm not done. Sorry, you would have them hollow out the bread for you.

Of course I would. I was conscious about my weight at a young age. Let's unpack that. And then I would put sweet onion sauce and then I put Southwest sauce and then I would put salt and pepper and oregano on it.

And that was my sandwich. Tuna, sweet onion, pepperoncini sandwich was my sandwich of choice. It was a damn good sandwich. That's so funny. I always went oven roasted chicken breast. I used to get a Subway Footlong almost every day senior year of high school because the Subway was like the closest restaurant to my high school and five bucks, you get like 800 calories of lots of nutrition, all that.

So I'd get their oven roasted chicken breast which is terrible to be clear they put fake grill marks on an oven roasted chicken breast which is my favorite thing it's either that or they're implying they're just roasting it directly on the oven rack which would be insane yeah but anyways they put the fake grill marks on it uh but i would get the southwest sauce and the mustard and that to me that is my subway economy of choice but sweet onion i do believe is the most underrated. All right. Last one. Ginny Smith 17,

breakfast sausage needs to be infused with syrup and dipped in syrup. That's just overkill. It's one or the other. You know what I want? I want like the way that pickles are packed in brine. I want to get sausage. I want to get sausage links that are cooked and they come like packed in maple syrup like brine like preserved like preserved in amber

yes yes yeah exactly or like you know the way sardines come preserved in oil like that i want that but with syrup and sausage why doesn't that exist we should make that product sounds good josh you know what you live your truth we're looking no no no no nicole we one we're in america all right if people want to infuse their sausage with syrup and then dip in syrup and have that preserved in a brine of syrup that's their god-given right and i respect that and i think we're the people that need to give it to them i think that should be the first we're always looking for like what's what's gonna be the first mythical food product to hit the market and for me for my money nicole that's that's maple syrup sausage pickles no josh that literally sounds so revolting to me to have sausage just

out in the open preserved in maple syrup no that's awesome that you don't have to refrigerate your sausage you don't you don't you don't use as much fridge space on your sausage because you can just keep it in the cabinet i think we're gonna kill people with botulism yeah i think so too they're gonna use this podcast as evidence in an upcoming uh mass tort case well on that note thank you for listening to a hot dog is a sandwich if you want to hear more from us here in the mythical kitchen we got new episodes for you every wednesday if you want to be featured on opinions or like casseroles you can hit us up on twitter at mythical chef or n NHendizadeh with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. For more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week.

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