A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Do You Pour The Milk Or The Cereal First?

Episode Date: January 27, 2021

Today, Josh and Nicole answer a very controversial question: Do You Pour The Milk Or The Cereal First? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. Jack the Ripper, Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy. Truth be told, the biggest cereal killer isn't any of these guys. It's an inappropriate milk pour in a big bowl of Cap'n Crunch. Today, Nicole and I answer a very important question. Do you pour the milk or the cereal first? This is a hot dog as a sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie.

Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwichwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Scherer.

And I'm your host, Nicole Handizadeh. And today, Nicole, I know I say this every week. Yeah, you do. No, but this is a classic debate. This is a classic culinary conundrum. Does it have to be? I don't think it has to be. It shouldn't be.

It's shocking because there are ones like pineapple on pizza where I understand, right? Yeah, I get that. Yeah, should boneless wings be called wings? Those are ones that I understand. But do you pour the cereal or the milk first? I had no idea it was a debate. It shouldn't be a debate because there's only one right answer. It's the cereal first and then you put the milk. And Nicole, a week ago, I would have agreed with

you. My whole life, I would have agreed with you. But like when we talked about doing this podcast, you and I are both lifelong cereal first pourers. Of course. Because to me, it seems intuitive to do that. Yeah. Why would you? It doesn't make sense like ergonomically, mathematically, even spiritually. It doesn't make sense that is the thing a lot of we always talk about people implying some sort of moral purity about different food things like when people talk about you should only eat a steak medium rare there's some sort of like elitism about it the cereal first versus milk first thing takes it to a whole new level where it's not about moral purity it's just like you're an actual psychopath you have bodies in

your closet chaotic evil chaotic evil if you pour the milk first so i decided to go like uh what's that show mind hunter right the dude hannibal hannibal yeah it goes in the minds of the serial killer yeah that's hannibal is that hannibal hannibal does i thought he just eats people yeah but no it's it's the guy that works alongside hannibal i just finished hannibal no who's watson that's that works alongside Hannibal. I just finished Hannibal. No!

Who's Watson? That's... That's the detective. The point is, I decided to... No, that's Enola. Enola Holmes. Enola Holmes. I've heard it's a good movie.

Sherlock, Sherlock. Anyways, I've decided to get into the mind of the serial killer to go into the belly of the beast and for a week, I bought some nice whole milk and I mixed it with protein powder

because that's how I eat my cereal and I got a box of Special K red berries. Wait, back up. Go ahead. You put protein powder in your milk? Yeah, I like because I love eating cereal, but I want to get the macros. I want to get this bulking season. I get that. So I want the protein. So I mix protein powder with milk, which is a whole separate. That's cereal. What? Protein powder is cereal. What do you mean protein? The cereal doesn't have protein. Like if they made protein infused captain crunch that that'd be a huge hit for the bro community the bro community and i think i can speak as in there's protein infused cereals you know they do make protein infused cereals there have been a couple uh cool companies out

there but the problem is they don't like absorb milk which we'll get into later milk absorption functions but anyways in my special k red berries i poured my protein milk sludge which we'll get into later milk absorption functions but anyways in my special k red berries i poured my protein milk sludge which we can just call milk first for the first time in my life i've never done that before and i did it every day for a week how did you feel tell us i felt more adult what i'll tell you why i think that i think i have ascended to a certain galaxy brain spiritual plane so there there are a couple of arguments. Like what is your main argument for why you pour the cereal first? It feels incorrect.

It feels wrong to pour the liquid into a bowl before a solid. You know what? I would have said the same thing until about a year ago. I started changing the way. So a lot of people actually say that not a lot of people like six wackadoos on twitter have been like hey cereal is a salad because the milk is the dressing this is not the prompt i do not want this is going somewhere this is going somewhere how do you put your salad dressing on top of the salad then toss it yes how else are you supposed to do it i do it

the complete opposite and there's a dressing in the bottom of the bowl of course i do that way you get a much more even distribution when you toss it and also this doesn't necessarily apply to cereal and milk but this is going somewhere i like to make my vinaigrettes in the bottom of just like a big old mixing bowl and then however much vinaigrette i have i add the salad to fit the amount and then i toss it by hand massage the dressing into the lettuce a little bit my hands are washed so i make salads and this is how some of the best salad makers yeah i know make salads okay yes i agree with you on that but the ratio of salad dressing to lettuce versus milk and cereal are two totally different things you can't see this but i'm doing the conspiracy theory hand movements but it's not about the ratio necessarily it's about process right we're talking liquid

first why not no you have to consider all fronts whenever you're doing so you can't just isolate one variable what's the point of isolating variables whenever you need the whole i'm talking i reclaimed my time you can't you can't consider one thing and not consider the other thing because you're eating a whole meal cereal is a meal cereal is a dessert like can we just get that out of the way to me not for me do you eat it for breakfast i eat what you eat old man i eat old man cereal so no it's not a breakfast it's not a lunch it's not a dinner it's a meal it does not have a time frame you should we should because i'm inserting myself into your business proposition you should just create a cereal called old man cereal you ever been to that bar just called old man bar no i don't do you know about it no is it on the east side no it's west side it's attached to hatchet hall i've never been to that bar just called Old Man Bar? No. Do you know about it? No. Is it on the east side?

No, it's west side. It's attached to Hatchet Hall. I've never been to Hatchet Hall. Damn it. Well, there's like a bar within this restaurant that's like a separate entrance and everything. And when they described building it out, they were like, we want it to just be a bar where you can just go sit in a dark room, enjoy a nice whiskey drink. And we want to feel like an old man bar, not like a party bar.

So they just called it Old Man Bar. Is it in between Finn Tapas, Finn Asian Tapas and hatchet hall no it's like in hatchet hall but you gotta go around the back to separate damn there's a bar in santa monica called the bokowski bar which has like three things on the menu and it's a dark lit room and you just order your drink and you leave that's how i enjoy drinking no not me i'm more of a social animal. You go to like one of the giant margarita. Have you ever been to Bar Lubevich? Is that how you say it? Yeah, I lost an expensive jacket in Bar Lubevich.

Oh, really? I used to go in the back in the karaoke room. Was that what it was? That was a good time. Wow, I miss people so much. I miss people. I miss social interaction. But now we only have our stupid arguments

torturing our own thoughts and loneliness right now. Straight up. What I was saying, you need to create just a brand of cereal. It's called Old Man Cereal. That's the ultimate Old Man Cereal. The ultimate like unflavored, but like just flavored enough to make you happy. Kashi Golene. Kashi Golene Crunch. Doesn't make me happy.

No, it doesn't make you happy. But you need an Old Man Cereal that makes you happy. But anyways, point is what I like to do in the same way that I pour my salad dressing first in the bottom of the bowl and then toss the lettuce in it because I love full milk coverage so I used to think that I like, well,

you're saying you don't like full milk coverage. No, I eat my cereal really fast and I eat it like really crispy and crunchy. Well, then you're the perfect candidate

for pouring the milk first. No, I'm not. Because that's the one benefit. Because it cascades over the whole entire cereal. No, you pour the milk first and then you pour the cereal and the cereal floats on top. Oh, but you're eating dense cereal, aren't you? Yeah. See, this is the issue. I'm not eating beautiful, fluffy, gorgeous. No, I'm not doing that. That's a game changer in this

whole discussion, isn't it? Yeah. I'm a little bit of an, I'm an outlier. Because that, I'm also an outlier in the sense of protein goo. Prote you have a protein goo. So that's a different absorption rate. Yeah. But I use a pretty thin protein. But anyways, the one huge argument that a lot of people use for pouring milk first is that the cereal floats on top. So you. Not for me. But not for you because you're eating just like the crunchy gravel.

I'm eating grape. I love grape nuts. Whoever hates grape nuts just doesn't have a distinguished palate There's nothing I love more than those little wheat pebbles And then some of them are like crunchier than the other ones Because I think they mix up their batches I don't know I'm not sure Sorry post

But like sometimes there's like really large kernels That get really really hard And they no matter how much time you soak them in milk They just stay hard And then sometimes it turns into mush and I really enjoy that. As a member of the soft teethed community, not only am I only eating fluffy cereals.

What's a fluffy cereal? Like happening like kicks. Think about kicks, right? They're like, you could create a life jacket out of kicks that float so hard. They hit the milk and they bounce. I used to love kicks. Wow.

Yeah. There's so many cereals I love. They're good. There's a lot of pleasure in like the kids fluffy they bounce. I used to love Kix. Wow. Yeah. There's so many cereals I love. They're good. There's a lot of pleasure in like the kids fluffy cereals. Yeah. But the big proponents for milk first are that your cereal can stay crispier because it floats on top. But like you don't eat fluffy enough cereal to ever have that be a factor.

No. Because what I like to do, I like to let my cereal, I will pour a bowl of cereal and then I'll like make my coffee and then come back to the cereal five minutes later. This is how I enjoy cereal. I like it to be like we talk about the fried texture of food soaked in sauce, like a buffalo wing, et cetera. I like that texture of like crispy yielding to sog. I like to get it in that in-between Schrodingerian state. No way.

Where it's like a little bit of crunch. It's too cold to be in. That texture is not as enjoyable when it's cold. Well, do you have sensitive teeth? Yes. Yes, I do. More variables. I have Sensodyne.

This is not sponsored by Sensodyne, but it should be. No, but I love, but Sensodyne works. I use Sensodyne once a day, and then use a regular minty fresh toothpaste once another day. Everyone asks for people's skincare routines. So few people are like, bro, give me your tooth care routine. Okay. It's really simple. Do you do, have you heard of oil pulling?

Yes. I've never done oil pulling. Okay. So it sounds like I'd throw up. So I did oil pulling for like a week and my dentist friends were like, you need to stop doing that. And I'm like, why? They're like, that is horrible for your oral health. That is disgusting.

Don't do that anymore. And I said, okay. So now I just use ACT. What's the argument for oil pulling? I don't know. Ask Gwyneth Paltrow. Everyone just uses the phrase draws out impurities. I don't know what that means.

Or like releases toxins. But those aren't real. But you're just spooning coconut oil in your mouth and you're for like 12 minutes in the morning and stuff. Anytime anyone brings up the word toxin, they're like, oh, you gotta do a juice cleanse. It's gonna get all the toxins out. You just go, name a toxin.

Dioxiribonucleic acid? That's what DNA stands for. It draws out your DNA. What did I say? Roxinio. What if- Deoxyribonucleic acid. That's it?

No, no one can name a toxin because they don't exist. It's just snake oil salesmen. I don't know any toxins by name. Isn't that funny? The new snake oil, which I think is hilarious, and again, there might be science behind it that is not super, super available, but is anything using the term gut health? Oh, yeah. Probiotics.

There are 35 bajillion probiotics per square milliliter. And you're like, whoa. That's a lot of probiotics. Probiotic cereal. Oh, I'm sure it exists. We should make it. We should make it. This is the whole podcast.

We remember the first time we talked about a cereal soup and we wanted to make chicken cereal. Yeah. Remember I made it? Oh, yeah, you did make that wanted to make chicken cereal? Yeah. Remember I made it? Oh, yeah, you did make that. We made chicken cereal one time. It was good. The point is I like my cereal completely doused in milk. And so what I used to do is I would pour the cereal first and then I would like. Do you drink regular milk?

Yeah. Do you like, do you have cereal with almond milk? I do. I like it. I don't find because I'm already like mixing protein powder and gross things. Sometimes I'll do protein powder and water and put it on my cereal. I'm not picky. If I had a choice, it would be ice cold 2% milk.

I think a little bit thinner soaks into the cereal a little bit better than full fat milk. But I only keep full fat milk in my house because I use it for cooking so often. And if you do a recipe, I try to make mac and cheese with skim milk. Oh my God. When I was just like, I don't want to go to the store. And I was at Julia's house and like there was skim milk there. I think it was lactaid too. And it was just like disgusting.

The cheese sauce broke. There wasn't enough fat to bind. It was absolutely terrible. But anyways, I would pour the cereal first. Special K red berries are my go-to because it's like in between sugar kid cereal and adult cereal. Yeah. And then I would like spray the milk over the top trying to get the top layer wet i would like like shake the milk

bottle because but the top of a milk bottle is large and round yeah you put your thumb over it no i wouldn't like do the rachel ray olive oil thing but i would just try and make sure that the entire top layer got wetted by the milk. I'm trying to visualize this right now. It's kind of like a thing, like a swirl. Like when you, um. Clean a toilet bowl. Yeah, just like that.

I don't, are you supposed to clean a toilet bowl? Why would you clean the place that you poop? You're just going to poop in it again. Josh, you have to clean your toilet bowl. Yeah, you sound like Julia now. It's so important to clean your toilet bowl. Actually, anytime Julia comes over, I like like Julia now. It's so important to clean your toilet bowl. Actually, any time Julia comes over, I like, five minutes before she's there,

I immediately run into the bathroom and I'm like, clean the toilet bowl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the gross, like, toothpaste scum out of the sink. You leave toothpaste in the sink? Not like a lot, but I mean, like, you know, when you spit the toothpaste out. You don't rinse it out with water?

We're never going to live together. I hate you so. You never know. You don't know what circumstances are gonna happen there's a high possibility i could live with you why not mythical canton gets canceled in like a botulism scandal in two years hey buddy knock knock gonna come in like you can't make fermented cereal you got room on your futon i need a place to no i got beanbag i got beanbag not a futon it I need a place to go. No, I got beanbag. I got beanbag, not a futon.

It's not one of the nice ones either. Hi, I'm PJ Vogt, here to tell you about my new podcast, Search Engine. Search Engine was one of the very best new podcasts of 2023, according to Vulture, Vogue, Time Magazine, and The Economist. We answer fascinating questions about business, tech, and history. Questions like, why are drug dealers putting fentanyl in everything? Who should be in charge of artificial intelligence?

How did ADHD medication get so popular so fast? Listen and follow Search Engine with PJ Vogt and Odyssey podcast, available now on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. lucky charms. Really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, they're colorful. I like that they imply a certain benefit to your life. You're not colorful. I'm incredibly colorful. I'm so colorful. Look at me. I'm so wild and wacky and animated. You're wearing beige! Yeah, well, I exclusively

wear jorts and black t-shirts. You know, I'm not going to apologize for that. But no, I think lucky charms, I like that they imply a benefit to your life. You know? No. It's like, this is a charm. It is you know no it's like it's like this is a charm oh it is lucky your life will be improved by the cereal whereas you know stuff like blueberry is just like i'm gonna frighten you so i prefer you know something that benefits other people's

lives because that's me i'm a giver yeah okay yeah yeah yeah what cereal would you be you're completely insane question it's not It's not an insane question. Barbara Walters asked Audrey Hepburn, if you could be a tree, what kind of tree would you be? Yeah, it's absurd, but it's still accurate. What does she answer? I feel like she'd say like, I'd like to be a Douglas fir.

Probably Douglas fir, probably some sort of, or like an oak. I would be Oreo cereal. Oreo O's? Because I'm void of- You get canceled and then you come back two years later and no one really wanted you. I'm void of all get cancelled And then you come back Two years later And no one really wanted you I'm void of all Nutritional value

No substance No substance I just taste good And then people get Nostalgic about me Because they miss me But they don't realize What they got until it's gone

You're the toxic friend You're the toxic friend In the group That like people Don't appreciate Because she doesn't Bring anything of value They're like

Nicole doesn't make me A better person No it's so true But then you leave The friend group And everyone's like Oh I of value. They're like, Nicole doesn't make me a better person. No, it's so true. But then you leave the friend group and everyone's like, oh, I miss her because you're like the instigator. Yeah. My group chat is bone dry. We have friends just sending fantasy football memes. That's good.

That's like our men be sharing fantasy football memes instead of going to therapy. What's up? So how did you feel putting milk first? I will say, I mentioned this 20 minutes ago. I meant to talk about it. But then we started talking about some other things. I felt the same way that I did when I started making my dressings first. Okay.

And the salad, which to me, it felt more adult. It felt more professional. I don't know if that is just a rejection of the things that I grew up on you know when like you grow up certain ideas and then you like kind of like you're like i want to branch out on my own you create different ideas you go sure yeah that's how i felt pouring the milk first uh i think i don't think there are a lot of valid arguments to why you should pour the cereal milk first i think this is a lot of these arguments come from a very emotional place one of the things that people say and and this I can agree on if you're someone who cares about the amount of food you eat, which I am not, I'm pretty indiscriminate. You know, I just kind of eat

things till I don't want to eat them anymore. But you like the cereal is the main dish, if that makes sense. Right. And the milk is essentially the economy. You say you're like eating a bowl of cereal, like the nutrition, despite cereal not having much, nutrition is supposed to come from that. And then the milk is like aiding and abetting. Yeah. So why would you measure? It completes the dish you are consuming. Correct.

But in theory, like you should be measuring. I know people don't measure the amount of cereal, but you should at least be like guesstimating the amount of cereal that you want as opposed to guesstimating the amount of milk that you want so the milk should be dependent on the cereal I do understand that however I like to think of it like how you make pasta in a way because like again this is like

growing up right this is like me realizing that I should be making the vinaigrette or salad dressing first and then tossing the vegetables the lettuce and that when I realized that you need to like sauce pasta in the pan. Okay. Yeah. Right. Like you're, you should in theory have the same amount of noodles and sauce that you want. Right. But since you're finishing. I don't know. I'm saying like when you make pasta at home, right. You're finishing the pasta and the sauce. Yeah. Like a good cook should. And then I add pasta water.

Yeah. And then you add the pasta water, et cetera. But like you're making the amount of sauce first, essentially, right? No. The amount of sauce determines how much pasta you use. No, I gauge my – no, no, no. I always gauge my pasta first and then I make my sauce based off of how much pasta I'm going to eat. Interesting.

I always just make a giant batch of sauce. Not necessarily a giant batch of sauce. I will make whatever sauce that I'm making and I will have that in the sauce pan. And then I will add enough pasta to that. Interesting. So we're totally opposite. And so I generally end up with like leftover pasta that's like cooked and that I just kind of put in the fridge and then I eat.

It's like a rainy day. Just like need some food in my body. Put some pasta in. Yeah. You're making the sauce to fit the pasta yes always I always make my I always measure out my pasta with my hand see how much I don't even know what the measurement is I just say that's good give me a fist of skeddy yeah I'm like whatever this fist of skeddy is enough and then I make my sauce based on that. I always make fresh sauces. So I never use jarred sauces. Yeah, no, I mean,

there's a couple of jarred sauces that I do love. I heard Rayo's is good. Yeah, Rayo's is like $12. Who's got Rayo's money these days? Not I. I don't have, not I. No, I'm buying like, it's just called,

it just says Classico on it. You know, and it's like $1.79 and you can see. No, it's not Prego. It's like, it's on the shelf below Prego. But above Kroger. But above Kroger, yeah. Yeah, I love Kroger sauces.

Kroger sauce is great. They like come in, their Alfredo sauce comes in handy many, many times in this kitchen. Because you just need like white creamy to a dish.

Yeah, just toss in some Alfredo sauce. It works in, it literally saves my, my behind on like 85% of mythical food stuff. But Josh, I'm upset because you say that you put milk first and then cereal and you feel more like an adult.

But isn't cereal supposed to take you back to a time when you were just learning your fine motor skills and knowing that, hey, you can use a spoon to put food up to your mouth and it gets a little messy and it gets a little wet. But it's like, don't you want to feel kind of youthful and young when you're eating cereal? Nicole, I'm glad you asked that because I contain multitudes and I think food. No, this is real. This is real. This is going to sound stupid and convoluted. But food is meant to invoke several different things, right? Food can invoke nostalgia and joy.

Food can evoke sophistication and elevation yeah and i think it just depends on what you want i mean you're eating old man cereal right so you're kind of like rejecting the nostalgia no because i was raised on old man cereal the most the only sugary cereals we would have in my house was maybe once in a while my mom would feel bad for me she'll be like here eat some, eat some Oreos. And then, or Honey Nut Cheerios. I never grew up with sugary cereals at home, in my house. Interesting. So for you, nostalgia is old man. Yes.

Old man nostalgia. Yes. Benjamin Button factor, you could say. Also, I don't eat my cereal out of a bowl. What? I eat it out of a... What are you eating out of a... Are you eating cereal on a plate?

No. You weirdo. You eating cereal on a plate? No. You weirdo. You serial killer. You psychopath. No, no. You delusional narcissist. Let me finish. I eat it out of a blue Solo cup.

Why? Pray tell. Why do you eat your cereal out of a blue Solo cup? I know those. Because we used to exclusively buy the blue ones at UCLA because we hated USC so much that we wouldn't even buy the red ones. First of all, easy cleanup. Second of all, though. How hard is it to rinse out a cereal bowl?

You don't even need soap. You know what? You know what? I'll tell you why. Because I used to eat cereal exclusively out of those little sippy bowls. Remember the sippy bowls remember the sippy bowls yeah bowls with the straw so you could slip up all the extra milk that your mom would pour for you even though you said stop yeah so it kind of reminds me of that because it's a really bright

blue color and then i eat it with the spoon i had that same blue sippy bowl yeah i did too and then the 99 cent store yeah yes of course but it was a pack of three because it also had yellow and orange and then so it had like a it has a white mouth so it was a pack of three because it also had yellow and orange. And then, so it had like a, it has a white mouth. So it's almost like a bowl, but it's deep. And then the grape nuts get stuck on the cup.

And it's really enjoyable for me. What we're learning from this is that the world of cereal eating is so varied and wide and vast. And people eat cereal for different reasons using different techniques out of a plastic solo cup, despite, like, an adult and culinary professional.

Which I guess, like, the fact that chefs are just, like, you know, they'll be drinking, like, Krog champagne out of, you know, a deli cup and stuff. Yeah. It's actually very fitting for a chef. I will say I did not like those sippy bowls. Uh-huh. Because to me, okay, so there is reason uh liquids taste more when you don't drink them from a straw yeah like beer tastes more out of a can than a bottle because you're getting airflow to juxtapose sure i read like one article that said this i don't know if it can be like

absolutely verified but it's something that i believe right because you're getting like think about when you tilt a glass up to your nose or whatever you're not you're drinking through your nose think about when you tilt a cup up to your mouth you're like smelling the soda the coffee the juice whatever you're drinking and that adds to the amount of taste so for me i don't like to you know slurp my cereal milk through a straw because i want to get all those aromas and i want to go and get all that airflow in like i'm slurping down a bowl of ramen i don't know it's again it's that nostalgia factor for me like also do you know that christina tosi made a whole entire line based off of cereal milk yeah she like claimed to have invented like the dude who delivered me ice cream on his bike in westwood eight years ago didn't invent it shout

out to chule who used to bring me ice cream. Dude, the guy was a madman. He would just drive, he would just like bicycle around with like a cooler full of dry ice and ice cream pints and deliver it to people

from Instagram orders. Wow. Anyways, he was doing cereal milk before Christina Tosi but I just want to say that. Okay, well,

I wish I met him but she made a whole brand based off of cereal milk so cereal milk is like a big thing so I feel like the only people that would enjoy cereal milk

are people that pour their milk first because it soaks faster. Does that make sense? If you pour your milk first, you're saying the cereal soaks faster. Yeah, because you are in – whenever you're pouring your cereal, you're making a mountain. Yeah. And you pour it over the mountain. But I'm such a child.

I'm so juvenile in the way I speak sometimes. It's like, am I 27 years old? No, you're not. So it's like a cereal mountain and then you pour the milk over the cereal mountain and then it pools at the bottom but in the inside, until you like take your spoon

and you break up the mountain, it doesn't get wet. No, but either way, you're not getting wet until you break it with a spoon, until you go in with a spoon. Again, as someone who's done this. No, because you don't have the flatness. Think about floaty cereals. Exactly.

You don't have the flatness of the bowl or solo cup. You don't have the flatness so it's suspended in a liquid and it slowly starts to sink into there and then the other layer starts to sink in there. It's like the water cycle, Josh. You're talking about Ricky Raindrop?

You grew up with Ricky Raindrop, right? You didn you're talking about Ricky Raindrop? You grew up with Ricky Raindrop, right? No. You didn't grow up with Ricky Raindrop? You don't know about Ricky Raindrop. Ricky Raindrop was an anthropomorphic raindrop that shamed you into turning the faucet off when you brushed your teeth. No. He was a part, I thought he was a part of the whole California state school curriculum.

I don't remember. We had like a dude show up in a raindrop costume every year. No. Like, hey kids, I'm Ricky Raindrop. If you don't turn off the faucet while you brush your teeth, you're a piece of crap wants me to die no i don't remember that at all oh man well anyways but this is all like this is all about like it's we need to get the physicist in here yeah yeah we just need the physicist in here to tell us what the saw grade is from from my perspective and again as someone who who lived inside the mind of these serial killers pouring the milk first, what I have seen is that you get less even milk distribution when you pour the cereal first.

Because like I said, I like to slosh the milk around the top. Yeah, but that's weird. It is weird. And I understand that people might not do that, right? They probably pick one spot in the bowl to pour it in. So you're getting like partial milk coverage on the cereal and then when you pour the milk first you're getting almost no milk coverage on the cereal because you're creating a layer that rests on top are you gonna continue doing this i was getting to that oh i am i am in fact i am now a milk first pour

if not ever for well i'm not about fair i change my mind on things like all the time um but now, I'm going to keep doing it until it no longer serves me, which is I suppose what you should do with any sort of custom culinary or otherwise. But the reason that I will keep doing it is because there's a part of me might be related to ADHD that needs like order and ritual. Yeah. And so what I realized I love to do is pour the milk first and the cereal goes on top and the top cereal is virginal, untouched by the milk. And then I can use my spoon to push it down like the way that I toss a salad and dressing and I can uniformly then cover the cereal and milk. Got it. You know what I mean? Yes, I do know what you mean. And then I let it sit. Then I go take a meeting in my bathroom. And then I come out. My cereal is perfectly distributed among the milk and sogged up.

I understand your viewpoint and I respect your viewpoint, but I will never do that myself. That's fine. Do you think I'm a bad person for doing it? Of course not. Why would I think? Do you think I'm a bad person for other reasons that we haven't talked about today? I think this is a psychopathic tendency you have. And I'm sorry, but I think it is.

It makes me uncomfortable. I watched a really cool episode once. I think it was Amy Schumer's show. Full frontal. Not full frontal. What's it called? Inside Amy Schumer. Inside Amy Schumer.

Where she interviewed a psychopath. Like someone who actually. Or no. Sociopath? Sociopath. She interviewed a sociopath. And the guy was like, hey, look. Despite not really being able to understand human feelings, we don't all just kill people.

Some of us are just like kind of confused. Of course. Still understand I'd be a good person. I know that. I'd like to throw myself in that bracket. Okay. Benevolent psychopath. I mean, I don't think you're a psychopath. I think we all have psychopathic tendencies or maybe it's, what is the other word?

Sociopath. Sociopath, psychopath. I think there are tendencies that we all have like little like nuances of this is just yours yeah mine is looking up other serial killers for fun other who's your favorite there was the wrong word favorite favorite serial it's richard ramirez the night stalker he was hot i also like the guy what i don't remember his first i think it's albert fish albert fish early early 1900s did some weird stuff yeah i'm a big fan of ed kemper oh yeah if i was starting a starting five basketball team of serial killers that dude was like six eight i put ed kemper in the post um anyways enough about

serial killers what we've learned today uh i mean honestly though cereal is something that is so connected to nostalgia and so many people have so much ritual built around. We talk about that with things like pizza, right? It's an identity food. Yeah. Like how you do this thing and especially finding out that other people don't do a thing like you do it, you know, is like a really interesting thing to find. And then people naturally go way too far and over the board and performative in their hatred of the other on this. Performative hatred. Performative hatred.

That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what this is. It's all performative hatred, which again, I understand why it's like fun, right? That's the whole point of this podcast. It's kind of poking fun at the idea of performative hatred while simultaneously kind of doing it ourselves. And I don't regret that.

Not at all. At all. But no, as someone who was a lifelong cereal first pourer and switched to milk first, I will tell you two camps, you have more like than you think all right nicole i've heard what you and i have to say now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the introverse spider-man into the introverse

oh whatever we're running with that take it's time for a segment we call Opinions Are Like Casserole. Everybody's got one and they smell like onions. You're pitchy and you're pitchy and you should be here. Everybody's got one. Okay. First up, we got Vigil Michael. Trail mix is a salad. No, trail mix is trail mix. Yep.

Trail mix is a bag of nuts. You ever had a Waldorf salad? Yeah, trail mix can be a salad ingredient, which is technically in a Waldorf salad. No, no, no. Which is what, like apples, grapes, mayonnaise, and trail mix, kind of? Walnuts, grapes. Well, the walnuts are the trail mix kind of walnuts and grapes well the walnuts are the trail mix yeah yeah this is trail mix is a dried salad and salata seca and salata seca i

i'm fine with that yeah honestly fancy trail mix like that's one of those things that i've appreciated as i've gotten older yeah like fancy granola fancy trail mix um i'm into it but it's still got to have generic m&ms in it ones without the m on it and they taste just a little bit worse yeah they're melt in your hand and in your mouth nate henry one two three four five says i crush up my instant ramen noodles and make a ramen mush with salty chicken flavor okay yeah i love this. I love it. It's porridge. It's porridge. You're making gook in Korean. Yeah, this is just a noodle porridge, dude.

And I'm all for that. One thing that I do think is strange is like the idea of chicken noodle soup in America. Because the noodles are just so over. Like it's not like any like Asian noodle soup, right? What do you mean? Because like in, you you know ramen and pho whatever the noodles are like cooked fresh and they are served completely separately right like say you're ordering takeout which i've done a whole lot with noodle soups during

the quarantine right the noodles get added to the broth like at the last minute and that's the point because the noodles need to have a certain texture sure whereas like american chicken noodle soup it's just like i throw the noodles in there and boil it for nine hours till it's a mush i think that's interesting i've also gotten a lot of matzo ball soup and i do not like noodles in my matzo i don't like noodles in my mouth the matzo i don't like when they're competing they're called like in economics substitute goods right yeah they're substitute goods like the other day i was just making a complete like mishmash of leftovers in my fridge and i ended up with beans and potatoes in the same dish and i got really mad about it because every time i thought i was getting a bite of potato i'd be like potato and then i'd be like ah bean every time i thought i was getting a bite of bean i'd

be like oh bean and like ah potato oh interesting they kind of distract from each other you know what you should do cut your potatoes in a different shape than the bean oh oh and that's a little fun potato there you go because yeah i would if it was like a baked potato, like topped with beans, it would be cool with that. Yeah, that's different. That's different. All right. I don't like this because it tastes – I don't like that. I just – because I like long noodles.

All right. We got at Jolene Joanne. Nicole, I think you're going to like this one. Savory oatmeal is better than sweet oatmeal. Okay. So I made a tweet recently about cream of wheat being a savory option, and I do think it is. I think we need to switch over from thinking things are automatically sweet or automatically savory. I think that's so

whack. Carbohydrates are a blank slate. Oatmeal is one of them. Cream of wheat is another one. Amaranth is another one. There's just so many options. It's a blank slate. It's a normal flavor. It's all the same thing. And I think that they should be sweet, savory, either either. It doesn't even matter. I knew exactly what people were're gonna reply to your tweet with when you because you said like you want like a coffee rubbed tri-tip on a bowl of cream of wheat seasoned with something and i knew everyone's gonna come in and be like why not grits yeah it's like bro because i want wheat i want wheat i don't want corn and i also like sweet grits that's like a huge debate among a lot of Southern people.

Is there some people who put butter and sugar and cinnamon sometimes in their grits? And a lot of people, it's like the cereal debate where it's just like, you're an absolute psychopath for doing that. Sweet grits are really lovely. It's just like a dense corn custard. And ditto with like, I mean, I obviously love savory grits, just doused in hot sauce, maybe put some smoked gouda in there. Top of the shrimp, some creole sauce. but no i i love the idea of savory oatmeal like you said carbohydrates are a blank canvas do whatever you want with them yep uh aleski01 says i like floppy bacon and can't stand

getting bacon that shatters when you bite into it i'm the same way i like my bacon nice and soft and supple and squishy girl hard sam i like I like a little bit of crisp that then yields to the suppleness of the fat. Yeah, just a little. Also, I went to the Rose in Venice and I had a really beautiful block of bacon. Oh, like a whole piece of pork belly that had the bacon treatment? Yeah. Beautiful. With some grainy mustard on the side and some garlic rubbed bread.

It was delicious. Yeah, I love when people take like pork belly cubes, like they don't cut it into it, right? Bacon is just made from pork belly, but it's sliced lengthwise to keep that fat striation. But I love when people just make like thick nuggets out of it and then just give it the bacon treatment of sugar, salt curing and smoking. Yeah. Bacon's fun. It's overrated.

We've talked about that, but it's still so fun. All right. At Carrie Kacharski, a grilled cheese with ranch is the best combination. No one can change my mind. Yes, sir. Absolutely. Yeah. Dip all your sandwiches in ranch.

I don't even need it to be a sandwich. Just bread and ranch. Anytime I go to a restaurant, they're serving bread and butter. I throw the butter off the table. Okay. I throw the butter off the table, Nicole, and I say, sir, a bowl of your finest ranch. Okay. This is only acceptable at Cheesecake Factory if you're eating the brown bread.

Anywhere else, it is shameful and you should go to food jail immediately. But at Cheesecake Factory, you take the brown bread and you dip it in the ranch. And then if you're feeling freaky in the studio late night, you ask for the Santa Fe dressing on the side too and you dip your brown bread in that after. I don't think there's any problem with that. I mean salad dressing is just a delicious condiment. Bread's a blank slate. I want to taste the salad dressing.

Oh my god it's so good. But yeah I don't agree with grilled cheese and ranch. I like ketchup and grilled cheese because I don't like it Josh. Have you ever like spread ranch on. No. No hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm thinking about because the idea I love I love like bad red sauce Italian food right. Yeah. Where you're paying like eight bucks for spaghetti. Yeah. And they always about, because the idea, I love like bad red sauce Italian food, right?

Where you're paying like eight bucks for spaghetti. Yeah. And they always give you like the garlic bread that you're like, I think you just bought the frozen stuff from Albus and that's cool. I love just getting a side of ice cold ranch that comes straight out of, you know, the freezer that has like a two-year-old expired.

Sure. And I love getting the ice cold ranch and dipping the garlic bread in that. But I'm wondering, could you take that ranch, spread it on bread and then broil that? And what would that taste like? Oil.

Yeah, but I mean like, you think a big proponent right now in the grilled cheese community is to mayonnaise your bread and then get that extra crispiness. So you're thinking instead of mayonnaise-ing

the outside, you'd be ranching the outside? Yeah. Huh. Ranch it up. In the words of Eric Andre. I love Eric Andre. I have a big crush on Eric andre i would ask him to come on the show but i'm afraid don't be afraid there's nothing to fear but eric andre itself uh chocolate ping pong boy why haven't you been in mythical kitchens except

in the corner i'm i'm present in mythical kitchen episodes but yeah i like being in the corner because that's my little comfort spot. You're my corner man. You're like Mick to Rocky. No, that's not true. We are equal partners. Mick. Call me Mick. Call me Mick.

I can't see. All right. At Hey, It's Me Isaac, craft singles are the worst. They are purely plastic chemicals and disgustingness. Let me educate you. Hey, it's Isaac. Everything is chemicals. What do you mean chemicals?

Name one of those chemicals. If you want to get myopic on it, you can be like, oh, it has soy lecithin in it. But what do these things actually do, right? Like everything, I don't think we should put all of our trust in the FDA. But if we look at foods that are actually dangerous for you to consume, it's red meat, right? The World Health Organization put out a report that said that, you know, eating red meat, especially processed red meat twice a week increases your probability of having cancer by like 30 times or something. There's at least 10 times.

And then all these people want to come in and just be like, this has chemicals. It's bad for you because I don't understand science. Glyphosate. Glyphosate. What? Roundup. The chemical that's in Roundup. They've had to pay billions of dollars in settlements for actually giving people cancer.

Monsanto? Yeah, it's a Monsanto product. Monsanto. And then, you know, all these things that are like actually bad and actually hurting people. Something as simple as red meat and people come in with like, Kraft Singles are chemicals because I don't understand that all they did was melt milk with an emulsifier with cheese and then put it in a freaking wrap of plastic. Educate yourself. Kraft Singles are my favorite snack. Yeah, you should just eat it straight up. When I'm sad or not, when I'm just neutral,

it's just there and I just go ham, okay? Debbie knows. My mom wouldn't buy craft singles, but Debbie's only buy craft singles. So what I would do is I would go to Debbie's house and I would eat a craft single and I would feel so satisfied. And to this day, whenever I'm feeling weird, I eat a craft single and I feel better. Yeah. I like to place it on my tongue and I slurp it and it kind of flaps around. It's also Martha Stewart's favorite snack. It is. Yeah, it is. Yes. Gwyneth Paltrow has a single cigarette. Martha Stewart has a single Kraft single. It's a single single. Single single. Kelso89, the heel of the bread is not for sandwiches. It is to keep the real slices from drying out.

Heel of the bread? That sounds like a metal band, like a goth metal band. Welcome to the stage, heel of the bread. Anybody think that's funny? No, I thought that was a poor reference to someone who does listen to it. If it was like- Nobody thought it was funny in here? You guys suck.

Something like Enemy of the Dead or something. You know, a lot of these bands are really just called like. Enemy of the Dead. Sorrow for suffering. No, no, no. Enemy. Enemy of the Dead. Kill the Beast.

Heal of the Bread. Same difference. It's like a rejected Weird Al song. I like the Heal of the Bread. Sometimes I make my peanut butter and jellies on a Heal of the Bread and I fold it over. The Heal of the Bread. So I feel like the life I want to give my children, right, Nicole, I don't want my children. I want them to be like, you know, free from any debts and strife, of course. But most of all,

I want to be like, you know, prosperous enough so they don't have to eat the bread heels so we can just afford to throw away the gross part of the bread. Okay, well, flip side, I want my kids to be so aware of their surroundings and where they are that they are grateful that they have heels of bread to throw away if they wanted to. And I think it's beautiful.

But they still eat it because they know that it's good. No, I want to raise the same, because I don't want to just entitle a whole kids who are throwing away bread heels, but I want them to know that we could afford to. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, but that said, who are throwing away bread heels but i want them to know that we could afford to yeah you know what i'm saying uh but no but that said uh to me the bread heels what i do i do keep them as caps to keep the real slices fresh so i respect that yeah analogy but then when i get to the end and it's just two bread heels i use them before i work out like i like to have some sort of carbs and just any food and so i'll keep like random scraps of bread heel like

i'll keep a half a bread heel in a bag so I can just like eat it to get some sort of calories. It's, it's the utility calorie. It can go either in your body or in the trash. I mean, food waste is bad. But you know, yeah, I agree with this. The heel of the bread, it's useless. Moity 22, eggs are absolutely disgusting. No, they're not. No, like eggs are the basis of civilization. Eggs are delicious. Get out of here. Dull Face, but the L's are ones. Great name. Cabbage is so underrated. Josh,

I told you, I always tell you this. Stop ghostwriting tweets. I don't care. Nicole, I have 12 to 15 burner accounts that I will use to forward several agendas online. Josh, you can just tell me straight up. You don't need to keep hiding behind these silly, ugly, ingenious things.

No, I don't need to hide behind anything. Whoever Dullface is could be anyone, but now that we're on the subject, cabbage is the most underrated vegetable. I run through a head and a half cabbage a week. I know what you're saying, Josh. You buy a half head of cabbage. No, I buy three cabbages every two weeks,

and they got to be at least two and a half pounds, the cabbages. I put that on everything. You can salt the cabbage and make a coleslaw-type salad. be at least two and a half pounds the cabbages and i put that on everything like i will you can salt the cabbage right and make like a kind of like coleslaw type salad you can use it fresh and you can top it yeah you put it on top of soup you can saute it you can saute it in pork fat you can make top tacos it's the ultimate thing and and it's so shelf stable like it keeps for so much longer than lettuce you don't have to worry about bruising. Cabbage is the ultimate food.

It's my favorite vegetable. You can roast it whole. A lot of fancy restaurants have been roasting a quarter head of cabbage and charging $23. Charcoal in Venice? No. I remember. That's cauliflower, silly man. No, it went from cauliflower because Avec New started doing, I love how we get into such like weird internal LA restaurant drama.

Avecneau, my boss at LA Magazine, shout out to Leslie Suter, shamed Avecneau into stopping charging $48 for their whole roasted cauliflower because they used to do Chateaubriand, right? Which is a prestige protein. It's a beef tenderloin. Yeah. They would carve at the table for two and it was like, you know, 80 bucks or something. And then they had a like carved chateaubriand style cauliflower head that was 48 well yeah no you're paying for the experience

yeah but like that's not actually reflected in any of the cost of the dish it's reflected in the service of the person cutting i suppose but anyway she like wrote not even like a big thing just a small thing and we got like a straight up email that's like we're dropping it to 32 okay wow and it was like good i think i don't like, we're dropping it to 32. Okay, wow. And it was like, good. Okay. I think, I don't know. I've had cabbage the way that you're saying actually now that I think about it. I don't remember where,

but I'm pretty sure I had like a wood roasted. Simone, Simone, the restaurant. Jessica Largy was open for a couple months. I have no idea what you're talking about.

She demonstrated the dish on the chef show. I can't help you. No, I was at Charcoal with a bunch of food writers. He has this dish and you know, this is the chef from Malise who's like several Michelin stars. He's a fantastic cook and I was at Charcoal with a bunch of food writers. He has this dish where, and you know, this is the chef from Malise,

who's like several Michelin stars. He's a fantastic cook and the food at Charcoal was really good. And so was the cabbage, but he took like, you know, a quarter head of cabbage and he like charred it in the Spanish wood burning jasper oven and then, you know, wrapped it in the foil with like olive oil or whatever. And it kind of like steamed and charred and, you know, everyone tasted this at the table and he gave it,

served it like a yogurt dip. And they're like, oh my God, the pure essence of cabbage. I was like, bro, it's cabbage. This is the food of the people. This is blue collar food. You don't charge 18 bucks for a quarter head of cabbage. That costs 16 cents. Yeah, I agree with you.

Cabbage is the food of the people. It's the food of the everyman. It's every man of vegetables. I remember I was at a friend's house when I was like a kid and not knowing anything about the world. And I always thought that cabbage was like fancier on tacos. You know, his dad was from Mexico. I've probably told this story before, but I don't want to tell it again.

And he made tostadas with like, you know, a braised like chicken tinga. And then he like topped it with lettuce. And I was like, oh, hey, like, you don't do cabbage. And he was like, hell no. We're not putting cabbage on it. We're not poor. And I was like, this is a socioeconomic food issue that I did not know.

The lettuce cabbage divide. And I'm seven. But now I know. Nice. And we were watching the Disney movie Luck of the Irish. And those two memories are fused. You were the second person to bring up Luck of the Irish to me today. It's a good movie. Sans parsarvas. I'm getting shorter. Cool.

On that note, on what other note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we've got new episodes

for you every Wednesday. Compose yourself. I can't. You're so funny. Do I do it in an Irish accent? Yeah, yeah. Hit him with the Irish accent.

I can't. If you want to be featured on Opinions Are Like Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or nhendizade with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. Okay, I'm not going to do Irish for you, Brad Pitt from Snatch. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube. We launch new videos every week.

And of course, if you want to be sharing your pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. Mythical Kitchen? You sound like a drunk person. You sound like you're Australian. I don't even know how to say it next time. It's not a real Northern Irish accent. It's just a Brad Pitt. It? You said like a drunk person and it sounded like you're Australian. I don't even know what I'm about to say next time.

It's not a real Northern Irish accent. It's just a bad fit that doesn't sound like a stanch.