A Hot Dog Is a Sandwich - Domino's vs. Pizza Hut

Episode Date: October 13, 2021

Which pizza chain reigns supreme, Domino's or Pizza Hut? To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This, this, this, this is Mythical. History loves its iconic rivalries. Bird vs. Magic, Nadal vs. Fetter, Limp Bizkit vs. Corn. And in the pizza world, we got Pizza Hut vs. Domino's. Which pie chain reigns supreme? Find out! Because this is A Hot Dog is a Sandwich. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what?

That makes no sense. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, A Hot Dog is a Sandwich, the show where we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Ayer. And I'm your host, Nicole Inaidi.

And today, Nicole, we are discussing the feud between Limp Bizkit and Korn. Now, if you go back to like the resurgence- Uh, uh, uh, Korn has a song called Twisted Transistor, and it's a really good song. Oh my, wait. That's about as far as- Do you like Korn? Am I just now finding out? So you side with Korn in the Limp Bizkit feud. resurgence uh uh corn has a song called twisted transistor and it's a really good song oh wait as far as do you like corn am i just now finding out so you side with corn in the limb biscuit i mean limb biscuit had its moment in the sun yeah but that moment has gone fred durst though i heard is a very talented jazz pianist he is yeah what his i actually went did i tell you about the jazz concert that i went to with fred durst and i told fred durst the first album i ever owned

was uh three dollar billy all by limb biscuit and he said i'm sorry that's really that's pretty concert that I went to with Fred Durst. And I told Fred Durst the first album I ever owned was $3 Billy All by Limp Bizkit and he said I'm sorry. That's really funny. That was pretty cool. I'm sorry too. He was in like a really cool tailored suit, sockless black shoes and then he still wore the backwards red baseball cap. He's a pimp. And he had this like jazz ensemble of musicians that he

had sort of scouted from across America, brought them together to a jazz club in LA and then he went up there and he like scatted with them. Cool! Yeah. Big fan of the scatting. Big fan of Fred Durst scatting. I wish the corn singer would have gone up there and scatted. Pizza Hut vs. Domino's.

Yeah. What about it? Heavy hitters. They are the two dominant pizza chains in America. You can go on about Papa John's. They got Shaq behind them now, which is really super bizarre because they were like, our founder's racist.

Here's Shaq. And the funny thing is it's kind of working. Papa John's, their popularity ranking has actually been spiking. Well, look at that. Even though they're pizza to me,

it really can't hold up. We had it in the office the other day and I took one bite and I was like, ah, that's what I remember. I don't know how to explain it. It's like, the sauce is so sweet and tart. It's like sweet tart

sauce. You know what I mean? To me, it's their crust has a leathery pull to it. Yeah, it has like, yeah, it has like a distinct like chew and it's like when you try to like bite it, you have to like kind of like Yeah, you gotta rip. You gotta rip the Papa John's. As a member of the soft-teethed community

and I would like to think one of the member of the soft-teethed community, and I would like to think one of the foremost leaders in soft-teeth activism, Papa John's, that's triggering for me. I don't enjoy it. Pizza Hut versus Domino's. Who you got? It's so hard. You're ordering pizza for the big game, Nicole. Oh, my gosh.

Where are you ordering from? It's always Domino's. Always. But I love Pizza Hut so much. It's so nostalgic because whenever I was like five, six years old, like Pizza Hut was like the shiznit. Popeye's chicken is the shiznit. Please don't make me laugh at her. That was a monologue from, oh yeah, also Nicole just got her wisdom teeth out.

And so she is infirmed. She is struggling. I am the ambassador of the soft teeth community today. Because I literally can't. Nicole rides in solidarity. I literally have a mug of bone broth as my meal today right now. Oh, Jesus. But on the subject of Pizza Hut and Domino's, I do always order Domino's.

But Pizza Hut is a very special place in my heart because it's very spongy and it's very cakey and it's very thick. And I just like it more. But I know domino's is the crowd pleaser so i'm always going to choose domino's that's interesting uh i was in the same boat until recently where i had always ordered domino's so okay for anyone that doesn't know domino's uh surpassed pizza hut in domestic sales uh in 2017 for the first time i believe wow and that was a huge deal because both Pizza Hut and Domino's started out about the same time.

Pizza Hut founded in 1958. Domino's founded in 1960. Domino's was in Ypsilanti, Michigan. Shout out to the Ypsilantians out there. What's that? Like Stanley Yelnats. But this is one of those things. It's like how most of the major burger chains, right?

They were founded around the same time. There's a huge fast food boom in the 1950s especially. And the franchise game that was popularized by Ray Kroc at McDonald's is what allowed all these places to really explode. And so Domino's started out as Dominick's, which is funny. I didn't know that. Yeah. The Monaghan Brothers, they bought a single pizza store called Dominick's Pizza, but neither of them were named dominic and so they're like well it's kind of weird it's kind of the opposite of mcdonald's right where like mcdonald's was i believe two stores owned by

irish mcdonald brothers okay and then ray crock sort of like took control of all of it and then he there's a kind of the movie the founder there's that one great line you ever saw the founder no it was dry but it was a delight. Michael Keaton, Nick Offerman, what a, you know, go back and forth. But anyways, the reason that he kept that is because he thought croc was too Slavic of a name. So it would be called crocs? Yeah, and he was like, well, if we call it crocs, he's like, people don't trust the Slavic name. So McDonald's, nice Irish Catholic.

Interesting. Yeah. Smart move. The demographic politics at the time, I can't exactly comment on. You want to go eat at Crocs? Said no one ever. A very popular shoe brand. But anyways, point is, Domino's really took the lead against Pizza Hut in 2008.

Okay. 2008 is one of the single most successful restaurant resurgences of all time. Why is that? Because Domino's sucked for a long time. And this is how I remember it when I was like a kid. It was like Pizza Hut. I mean, one, you got the pan pizza and you had the stuffed crust and their normal hand tossed.

Stuffed crust. Wow. My parents never let me get the stuffed crust. Like too much cheese. It was expensive because it was never like on sale. It makes sense that it's expensive. But yeah, I mean, Pizza Hut had the innovation and they had just a better product in general. And then they also had the Pizza Mia deal.

Those like you got three pizzas for like five dollars each. That was awesome. They were like worse, though. I don't think they put a lot of TLC into those pizzas, but like five dollar pizzas. That was epic. Oh, yeah. That was an amazing time in history. Oh, my.

I remember being at the pool and ordering like Pizza Mia. It was like me and one friend. We just get three pizzas and we put them by the pool and just eat them with wet chlorine hands. Oh my, I remember being at the pool and ordering like pizza mia's. It was like me and one friend and we would just get three pizzas and we'd put them by the pool and just eat them with wet, pouring hands. Oh no. But 2008, everyone was like, hey, Domino's, your crust tastes like cardboard. Your sauce tastes like ketchup. Yeah. What's the dealio?

And then Domino's basically came out and was like, yeah, you're right. Like, yeah, we suck. We have not put any attention into the pizza in the last 40 years. They kept the original recipe. So 2008, they literally rebuilt their pizza recipe from the ground up, and they started throwing garlic butter on the crust. Their sauce just has less sugar in it now. Smart.

And their pizzas taste a lot better. I agree. So there's been like an 11-year period-ish, or 13, I just can't do math. There's a 13-year period in which Domino's has taken the lead slowly over time over Pizza Hut. Combine that with the fact that Domino's had the Pizza Tracker app. Oh, that's like the best thing ever.

The government surveillance state, hold on, no, no, no. The government surveillance state, to me, started with the Domino's Pizza Tracker app. Started? Yeah. Oh man, it just brought it to light. Started? Yeah. Oh, man. It just brought it to light. Yeah, no, that's true.

It was mainstream. It was made more palatable for the consumer. Exactly, exactly. We should have Edward Snowden on to discuss the Domino's Pizza Tracker app. That would be nice. I'm sure he has a lot of opinions about it. Where's he at? Is he in, like, Venezuela now? I don't know.

Maggie, can we get Snowden on? Can we contact our booker who doesn't exist? I thought the government was like, pew, pew, pew. Nah, he's still kicking. No, Joseph Gordon-Levitt's still alive. He played Snowden. Yeah, he did. I don't know. There's one thing I want to talk about. Nobody does

deep dish better than Pizza Hut, but no one does thin crust better than Domino's. I thought that. No. What? Oh, you're talking about thin crust, thin crust? Yeah, like thin crust where they cut it in squares. Oh, okay, but to me that's pointless. What? Oh, you're talking about thin crust, thin crust? Yeah, like thin crust where they cut it in squares. Oh, okay. But to me, that's pointless. What?

The thin crust. Yeah. What? I hate thin crust fast food pizza. Oh my God. No, no, no. It's a cracker. It's St. Louis.

It's St. Louis style. Whenever we have birthdays and stuff, that's the pizza that the adults would get. Why? I don't know. Watching the carbon take. I don't freaking know. It was just the norm. Every single time we would have a party, the kids would get the triangle slices of regular,

and then the adults would get the flat. So you grew up internalizing that as the flat, thin crust pizza is adult fancy pizza. It's not adult fancy pizza. It's adult pizza. It's adult pizza. Adult fancy pizza is Neapolitan. Adult pizza sounds like a bachelorette party pizza where the pepperonis are cut into like Penises?

Yeah, penis shapes. Penises and cut into like Penises? Yeah penis shapes Penises and vulvas? Penises The penis pizza? I can't say penis I think the plural of vulva is vulvae Or is that a Pokemon? Vulvae activate fire breath

Um Plural of vulva Yeah we're googling this now Oh vulvae it's vulvae Yeah vulvae that plural of volva is volva indeed um i'll watch a lot of spelling b i could work those kids that's a word no no kids aren't spelling volva in the national spelling b i'm saying that they're they're doing like latin roots oh okay you learn any latin word ending in, the plural is A-E and not with an S. That's so interesting.

Yeah, yeah. What I'm saying is 12-year-old children need to learn how to spell the names of the human body part. No, I'm saying that I don't believe in thin crust. So I take that completely out of the equation. Like at all? I like thin crust pizza, like Neapolitan pizza, but not fast food thin crust pizza. It's just, it's crackery and I hate it. But it's cut into squares.

Why is that important to you? It's so cute. And like you pick it up and you dip it in the ranch and you dip it in the- You don't have to sell me on dipping it in the ranch. Also though, I do believe fast food pizza places need better ranch. Okay, yeah, that's true. Because fast food ranch, it's really hit or miss. Yeah.

And I was shocked McDonald's ranch the other day. I had it. I don't know if they got a new ranch recently. No, it was really good. No, wait. I don't like McDonald's ranch at all. Have you had it recently? No. It's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while, dude. I'll tell you.

I was pleased recently because most are just too sweet. There's corn syrupy. Yeah, why is there corn syrup in it? It's just cheap. It fills it out and it's cheap. Yeah, it makes sense. But anyway, so fast food, thin crust pizza, I don't mess with. That said, they do have, they each have a

plethora of crust options. And Domino's has maybe my favorite, which is Brooklyn style. You've gotten Brooklyn style once before. The look on Nicole's face right now is mad. Like she was mad that I got Brooklyn style. Why don't you like it? I don't know. What's so special about it?

Can you tell me? Well, okay, so I love thin crust pizza, like New York style pizza, which fast food pizza is supposedly kind of trying to emulate. I know a lot of these places started in Michigan, so they would probably say it's actually trying to be a Michigan style pizza, whatever. But I think the best formulation of pizza across the globe is just a thin crust New York pie that has the proper amount of crispiness as well as fold as well as chew to it. And Domino's Brooklyn crust, that gets you there closer than damn near any other fast food pizza chain. I see.

And I respect that. That said, you go to the other side of the aisle and like Pizza Hut, that pan pizza. That's a good pizza. it's a good pizza that's a good pizza good it's the way that like the bottom gets like so crispy and oily and like oil logged but like in a good way you know what i mean you know how like um you make focaccia right you just you lather similar yeah you lather the bottom of the pan with olive oil yeah yeah pizza huts dough is in their pan pizza is cooked via the same method i would argue it might be a focaccia except the oil that they're using is

probably some sludge that's just called like restaurant oil or something you know what i mean no i think you're right it's like the hydrogenated whatever it's probably yeah but it has like a really interesting texture to it that like domino's just doesn't do. But Domino's makes up for it with their crust and their flavor of their crust. It's true. Yeah. So it's kind of like a catch-22. I will say, I think right now, if you're pressing me for a final answer, and I know we're probably what, 12, 13 minutes into this podcast and I haven't said anything. Domino's.

Welcome to the podcast. I would say Domino's is better right now. I think Domino's, if you're talking about pizza for pizza, thin crust for thin crust, even pan pizza for pan pizza, because Pizza Hut got rid of their original pan pizza recipe. They came back with a new one. I don't think it's quite as good. You're losing some of that artificial butter extract flavor. If we're ordering lunch right now and I want to please a crowd, I'm ordering Domino's. I agree.

However. Ooh. However. Ooh. However. We is. Like I said, these restaurants have both been around since like the late 1950s, right? And it's only in the last 13 years that Domino's has sort of taken the lead, taken up the mantle here. Pizza Hut, right now, they're down on the ropes.

Pizza Hut closed 10% of their global stores this past year. They're owned by franchisees. You deserve it. No, they don't deserve it. It's morally neutral. Switzerland. It's a process that in political science you call it retrenchment. Retrenchment.

Your troops are spread too far. You need to bring some of them back, realize your core values, and then hit strategic targets out there. And that's exactly what Pizza Hut is doing right now, which I find fascinating. So roughly 10% of Pizza Hut's business was still dine-in globally during the pandemic. Have you ever dined at a Pizza Hut or done it? When I was a kid. Really? Because Pizza Hut had the freaking salad bar.

Never. You didn't want the Pizza Hut freaking salad bar? Never, ever. Bro, Kansas City, Missouri. I'm five years old. The Pizza Hut freaking salad bar. You never did it. Kansas City, Missouri. I'm five years old. The Pizza Hut freaking salad bar. You never did. Oh my.

Pizza Hut, because of their salad bar. So they had like breadsticks and you know, they have like the whole canned olives. Half the things in the salad bar were just pizza toppings that can also be raw in a salad. Yeah. That's the first time I had like raw mushrooms. I think I threw it up. I probably got E. coli from it when I was a kid. But anyways, Pizza Hut was the world's largest buyer of leafy

green kale. Because it lined their salad bar. And they put the little hotel pans in that. But anyways, so Pizza Hut was trying to be that family dine-in restaurant because during the 80s and 90s there's this big resurgence of

fast food restaurants need to play to families. Right. Well, it makes sense. Could have been. Yeah. Like a function of Reagan era, you know, Reaganomics, where it was like nuclear family. People have more disposable income.

Go spend that income at McDonald's on their new steak sandwich or whatever or Pizza Hut at their salad bar. But Domino's has always been delivery first. Yeah. And like in the 80s, they had the, what was it, 30 minutes or half a dollar off is how the campaign started. Was that what it was? Yeah, where if your pizza wasn't delivered. That's very smart.

Super smart. And then it became 30 minutes, your pizza's free, which really kicked things off. Wow. I bet that never happened, though. What, people actually got it for free? Yeah. I bet that like out of like maybe a thousand or just maybe like two. Yeah. But I mean, that means it was smart for Domino's, right?

Yeah. Amazing. That became like a really iconic thing. And Domino's did a great job of figuring out delivery infrastructure early on. So even now, Domino's, if you order delivery via the Domino's app, whatever, they don't have any place outside of a three mile radius from a store that they deliver to. And even in high traffic areas like we're in L.A., right? So three miles can take 20 minutes in L.A. Sure.

Domino's doesn't deliver anywhere that has a 10 minute plus drive during rush hour. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. And so they like we're talking about all these delivery algorithms with Postmates and Grubhub and DoorDash and Uber and all this crap. Domino's pizza tracker out here. They're figuring it out. And it made Domino's really well suited for the future, right?

Especially during the pandemic. We've seen how delivery exploded, especially with pizza restaurants. Did you get pizza during the pandemic a lot? I didn't. No. What did you order during the pandemic? A lot of pho. Yeah.

A lot of soup. Dan Modern Chinese. That's a good one. Yeah. Just a lot of... I'm trying to think what else. Oh, a lot of Persian food. Yeah. Yeah, because I was sending pictures all the time and I would rank their Qashqai badam.

You're so funny. Yeah, especially with my girlfriend living in near the biggest Persian neighborhood in Los Angeles. A lot of great Persian food to be, and it's a food that delivers really well. Yeah, that's true. Especially the stews. Delivery Persian stews, they just really well. Yeah, that's true. Especially the stews. Delivery Persian stews. They just stay hot. Yeah.

I don't know how. I think it's the layer of oil on the top. Yeah, it is. No, honestly. OK, but I don't know if I ordered fast food pizza once during the pandemic. I think I did either. Because if I'm ordering pizza, I'm probably going mom and pop. Exactly. But then sometimes you get burned by mom and pop and Domino's would have been better.

So you got to find a reliable spot. Yeah, reliable spot yeah reliable spot but i have a question for you which one has the cuter logo which logo speaks to you more is it the domino or is it the hood because they're both really i see i see the Also, I love playing dominoes with my friends. You know how to play dominoes? Are you 80? Shout out to Wildman Dave who taught me how to play bones. Are you 80?

No, it's just a fun time. You play marbles and jacks too? You just throw some bones at a bar. You just bring a little case with you. Oh my God. Have you seen Squid Game yet? No. I'm resisting.

V won't stop talking about Squid Game. I'm resisting it. Hot Fire Flames. Is it good? I don't. Nothing about it appeals to me. I just don't like that type of stuff. What?

A good show? Well, I think the Pizza Hut logo is cute because it's like a little like hat that's kind of like tipped off to the side a little bit. And it's really cute. Like Pizza Hut's a bad boy. It wears its hat to the side. And so you're attracted to it? You think Pizza Hut rides a motorcycle without a helmet?

That's why I'm like Domino's the 80 year old old man throwing bones. Shut up! For the love of God. No, it's like, you know, it's like, it's like, hey it's like, it's like, what's the fedora meme? You like guys in fedoras? I never said that. Did you watch too much of

the Master Pickup Artist? I never said that. I'm just saying I like the way it looks more. I'm not saying I like men in fedoras? I never said that. Did you watch too much of the Master Pickup Artist? I never said that. I'm just saying I like the way it looks more. I'm not saying I like men in fedoras. Because if you look back to their history, you see ways in which each has poisoned themselves for a different moment. Poised themselves or poisoned themselves? Poised, poised, poised. And right now, Domino's is better suited for the current moment. But Pizza Hut had its run in the past.

So you're talking about the logo of Pizza Hut is the red thing that looks like a hat. That's their signature red roof, right? Love that. Oh, it's a roof. Oh my God. Yeah, you've seen a pizza, right? They all have a signature red roof.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I just put two and two together. I'm so sorry. So the top of, so it's not a hat. That's the top of the hut. Yeah, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, no, it's not a hat. That's the top of the hut. Yeah, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah, no, it's not Pizza Hut.

It's Pizza Hut. I'm sorry your, what is it, co-host is a little bit off the rails. But Pizza Hut in the early 1970s, they hired an architect to figure out, because they were franchising it crazy. They franchised like 500 stores in like three years or something. Wow, that's crazy. All across America? Yeah, all across America. When did they go overseas to the other parts of the world?

Oh, God, was it in the 80s? Crap, did they open up a Pizza Hut in Moscow during the Cold War? Anyways, both of them actually have a really big international footprint. But Pizza Hut designed all of it to be dine-in centric and to have their physical location be part of the mythos of the brand, right?

That's so weird to me, to like eat in a Pizza Hut. Well, yeah, but it wasn't weird for people 20 years ago, you know? Yeah, I guess. But I totally agree with you, but that's why Domino's took the lead and is now poised to sort of be the restaurant of the future. That said, Yum! Brands, which is Pizza Hut's parent company, right? They're owned by PepsiCo. But then Yum! Brands has, what, God, Long John Silver's if they're still around.

Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut, what, God, Long John Silver's if they're still around, Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut, A&W, which is a perfectly fine fast food establishment. And never eaten at an A&W. They have root beer on old-timey pull taps. Never been to, is there an A&W in California? There was one that opened in a city called Ladera Ranch in Orange County that I used to go to. Their little hand-tap-d drawn root beer floats, what a delight.

And they have fried cheese curds. Wow. Shout out to A&W. And all their burgers are like family names. It's like the Big Papa Burger, like the little brother burger. Wow, you really like this place, huh? Yeah, I'm a big A&W fan. But anyways, so Pizza Hut also took a big downturn during the recession in 2008,

which is when Domino's had their big resurgence. Okay. Right? Because Pizza Hut, owned by Yum! Brands, which controls the whole portfolio, Taco Bell and all that, people stopped spending money on big ticket items like, you know, say a $40 Pizza Hut meal, right, for a family and instead went to places like Taco Bell where you can get happiness for $3. And so Pizza Hut was like the neglected stepchild of the Yum! Brands portfolio for a while. That's so sad.

You guys just want to talk about corporate structures? Let's talk about it. Take it away. Because right now, so Pizza Hut closed 10% of their stores, and now they are trying to go the Domino's model of being what's called off-premises. And so literally, think Ghost Kitchen, right? Think, you know, they might have storefronts,

but they're literally just to churn out pies, no seating whatsoever. So the real estate costs are going to drop. And then they're trying to increase rate. When the Domino's Pizza Tracker app came out, apps were sort of new for fast food restaurants. And now everyone's got this rewards program. And Taco Bell is actually probably the most impressive. Taco Bell, they continued to grow during the pandemic.

I am a member of the rewards program. And I got bamboozled. Oh, no. I got swindled. You did. Well, into downloading it because I didn't want to. I am a member of the rewards program and I got bamboozled. Oh no. I got swindled. You did. Well into downloading it because I didn't want to. I wanted to resist. I also had the Taco Bell online app, but I was never part of the rewards until they were like, hey, you can get the Taco Bell chicken sandwich taco one day early if you're on the rewards. And I was like, well, I don't want to wait. Yeah. I feel like your food writer brain was like, yep. Yeah, I had to. And so now every time I pull up my phone, I'm like, well, I could be reaping some benefits right now. But that said, so Pizza Hut right now, they are in a period of retrenchment and they're trying to figure out how to modernize.

And so I think in the next 10 years, if we record a follow up to this podcast, Nicole, 10 years from now, I think Pizza Hut will have overtaken Domino's. I think they're going to figure out how to get leaner. You want to do that? How to get meaner. Yeah, we're going to figure out how to get leaner, how to get meaner. You want to do that? Yeah, we're going to be doing this podcast for like, what, 20, 30 years? What? Okay. What else do you have to do? Raise a family. Become a doula? Stop, don't bring that up now. Don't bring up my

past. You suck. Are there many male doulas out there? I think there can be. Why not? I don't know. I don't think a gender should apply to a job such as a doula. Is a doula like a spiritual baby extractor? Sometimes. Do they physically take the baby out?

Depends if there's a doctor present. Hmm. Interesting. You can Google it later. Domino's Lava Crunch Cake. Yeah, what about the other menu items? Pizza for pizza, pizza for pizza, pizza for pizza, pizza for pizza.

Right now, it's tough to argue that Domino's does not have the food. Domino's is better. Domino's is better. Domino's is better when it comes down to it. Pizza Hut has tried

to throw a bunch of bells and whistles at the wall. They did like a pretzel crust pizza. You ever have that? No, I love myself far too much.

They got rid of it. That's the thing that people don't realize when, I mean, I'm one of the people who complains when a fast food company gets rid of an item or whatever. They're like doing that because

it's losing them money. When you say you complain, like, do you like write a letter to corporate or do you just shout it into the Twitter? Oh, yeah. We make whole YouTube videos, right? I forgot you did that for a second. I like threaten Taco Bell. Yeah, remember you like threatened them with warfare or something? Yeah, man. I was, I was, uh, really

researched some old general speeches i was going like i remember castro up there um but i think the title of the video is literally like bring back the mexican pizza or else uh or maybe it's like are we riot i don't remember uh but anyways i mean they're doing that because it's one harder for the employees so it makes ticket times take longer you know stuff like that so there's a reason so pizza hut right they're starting to trim the fat they're getting back to basics uh and so i think you know a couple years from now we'll see what sort of stuff they come out with to try and save the business pizza for pizza though domino's takes it in pure taste alone totally i agree right and then other menu items are there any things so

pizza hut they who has the wing street who has the pastas dom So Pizza Hut They Who has the pastas Bought Wing Street Who has the pastas Domino's Domino's has the pastas Domino's has the pastas Which are I don't really care for the pastas

Yeah let's just say They're not great I mean it's You know I feel like that's for Like the difficult cousin Yeah You're ordering delivery

And you gotta I don't want pizza We'll get you the chicken fettuccine Yeah yeah yeah Who has the chicken bites Those are good Domino's The chicken bites? Those are good. Domino's.

The chicken bites are fire. Well, so Pizza Hut partnered with a company called Wing Street. Okay. And so they're kind of like part and parcel. Oh, yeah. They have like Wing Streets next to Pizza Hut. It's like in the same building or whatever. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so Pizza Hut has that as its chicken arm, which is great. But it's weird when you're ordering that because whenever I order fast food pizza, it's always like one pizza costs you $14.99 or have this special deal where you get three pizzas for $9. And it's like, I don't know how the economics work, but I feel like I'm always downloading the online coupon. I was going to talk to you about coupons. I, you know, when I was a kid,

my mom would make me sit there and clip those coupons. Oh yeah. I was a coupon clipping kid. Kids these days don't realize it wasn't easy back then. It wasn't just log on to the app and click a button. No, you'd have to clip out the coupon and be like, here you go. Yeah, and then you'd scratch out the expiration date with a penny. Oh, yeah, you would cut around it.

Yeah, you'd just cut around it and go, oh, I lost it. I lost it. What do you mean? You know what you do? You take an acetone and you put the Q-tip in the acetone and then you get rid of the date. Yeah, that's how we had to do it back in the day. That's right. Because it wasn't all these.

I bet our parents just help us scam restaurants out of $3. It was nice. It was nice. So the point is Pizza Hut, like their chicken is more expensive and so it never seems worth it to get the wings because there's never the wing coupons. Never wing coupons. Never wing coupons. Yeah. Too much.

No, it's not fair. No, uh-uh. Other menu items. Oh, gosh. You go, it's not fair. Other menu items. Gosh, you go cinnamon dessert for cinnamon dessert. Pizza Hut wins. I don't like the cinnamon desserts. It doesn't do it for me. The chocolate crunch lava cake.

The fire. Dude, chocolate crunch lava cake from Domino's. That is like a high quality dessert. It is. You could serve that at a steakhouse. Absolutely. You top that with some vanilla ice cream, give you a little cinnamon sponge knot on the side or whatever they got from Domino's. It's like something at Mastro's, man. It's amazing.

It's delicious. Domino's cinnamon desserts, they're like a little twisty thing and they look like the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation logo. And so I don't think they donate any money to breast cancer research, but you know, it's still nice in solidarity for Domino's. You're funny today.

You're on one. In conclusion, Nicole. Conclusion is this, Josh. Domino's rocks. Yeah, Domino's rules. Domino's rules. Pizza Hut. It's all right.

It's there. They're going through tough times. Yeah. And we've all gone through tough times. Buy more Pizza Hut. You know, Pizza Hut is all of us in a way, right? Oh, extrapolate. You know, sometimes we all gone through tough times. Buy more Pizza Hut. You know, Pizza Hut is all of us in a way, right? Oh, extrapolate. You know, sometimes we all go through tough times.

You know, Nicole, your face is swollen like you just got hit in the head with a brick. You're so mean to me. But in, no, you had a medically necessary procedure just like Pizza Hut did when they, you know, took out these 10% of restaurants and, you know, the night is darkest before the dawn. It looks like I have a goiter.

Yeah, Nicole's got an iodine deficiency I believe in pizza Also we didn't even talk about the best pizza chain Of them all and that's Little Caesars Little Caesars come on $5 pizzas The crazy bread with that little gazpacho side It's disgusting I hate Little Caesars I think it's like 80% as good as anything else

And 80% cheaper And so the math adds up Little Caesars is good when you're down on your luck I think it's like 80% as good as anything else and 80% cheaper. And so the math adds up. Little Caesars is good when you're down on your luck and you need to pay rent. That's that pizza. Shout out to Little Caesars, the people's pizza, the people's champion of all things tomato pie. But no, Domino's right now, they have a pretty commanding lead. Yeah, I agree.

That said, I'm curious about the future. See what the future holds for all of us and for Pizza Hut. And from all of us here at Mythical Kitchen, I agree. That said, I'm curious about the future. See what the future holds for all of us and for Pizza Hut and for all of us here at Mythical Kitchen. Do you? Happy pizza hunting. What the hell? All right, Nicole, I've heard what you and I have to say. Now it's time to find out what other wacky ideas are rattling out there in the Twitterverse. It's time for a segment we call... Opinions are like casserole!

First up, we got EP414. Cheddar on graham crackers is fire. Yep! Here's the thing. One, graham crackers, they don't stop you from baiting. They were meant to stop you from baiting. Scientifically, they don't. It didn't work.

I thought you meant Ritz crackers. What? I can't read right now. Nicole's struggling. No, Ritz crackers encourage self-stimulation. Graham crackers discourage it. You know that whole history, right? Ritz wants you to touch yourself.

No, no, no, no. Well, Graham really didn't want you to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course I know about that. And so I think... Or Flakes and Graham crackers were anti-masturbation aids. Yeah, yeah.

Whereas Ritz crackers has been neutral on it. So I think that means they want you to. What about Club Crackers? Oh, Club Crackers. There was a man... Sex positive crackers.

There was a man who tweeted at Keebler every day for over a year just saying, what is the sexuality of the elves? And Keebler never responded. So I guess I'd like to know what the sexuality of the elves is. Cheddar on graham crackers. I can't imagine it. I can't really get my – maybe if it's white cheddar, but that's just maybe.

What's the difference between white and it's just food dye? It looks less intimidating. I guess that makes that makes sense staring down a yellow cheddar graham cracker uh no i like cheddar and sweet is good i recently put some crushed up cheetos in a bowl of frosted flakes now it's a delight for fun no it's like a work thing we're like filming a silly video um and then i wasn't even supposed to eat it was supposed to be a prop i was like well there's a bowl of cheeto frosted flakes i'm not gonna not eat it. It was supposed to be a prop. I was like, well, it's a bowl of Cheeto Frosted Flakes. I'm not going to not eat it. And that was a delight.

And so if graham crackers and cheddar goes as hard as Cheetos and Frosted Flakes, which I imagine it does, I'm down with it. I'm going to try it. I have cheddar and graham crackers at home. Because me and Jules, we like to make this little treat at night where we take, hold on. So we take strawberries. We cut them up. And then we put them in like a bowl and then

we'll put some whipped cream on it and then here's the kicker. We take like just a couple graham cracker squares and we crush them up and we put them on top. And then we just watch Shuckle Law and fall asleep on the couch together. So cute. I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear that. It's pretty adorbs.

Melly Mel's underscore 22 says soy sauce and sriracha are the perfect additions to popcorn. Wouldn't it make the popcorn soggy, though? Here's the thing. I like soggy popcorn. You don't like soggy popcorn? No. No, what you do is you dip your fingles in the jar of pickles and then you flick the pickle juice in the popcorn.

You dip your flingles. You dip your flingles in the pickle jar. And then you flick that at the popcorn. Just get popcorn seasoning. Just get the dill pickle popcorn seasoning. No, I like the wet. I really do. It's like, well, you've seen me eat a bag of chips. I open it and I put hot sauce in it

and I shake it. Well, that's because you've got problems, baby. It's because you have soft teeth. Soy sauce and sriracha, that's aggressive on popcorn. Yeah, I mean, I'm telling you, there is such thing as soy sauce powder and there's such thing as sriracha powder, so just put those on there. You don't need to do the wet. I like the wet though. I like the texture of wet soaking in the dry.

I'm saying it works! No, you gotta put some butter in it. Butter's got wet. I know, but it doesn't make it sopping wet. Yeah, the amount of fat insulates it. Exactly. And I guess most of the time it's not real butter, right? You're probably putting

hydrogenated melted oilulates it. Yeah, and I guess most of the time it's not real butter, right? You're probably putting hydrogenated oil on it. Fake butter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, that stuff's good, though. I like olive oil on my popcorn. I like olive oil, rosemary, and a little bit of pecorino. Oh. Ooh.

It's like Giada Delos. I was going to say, that is absolutely in like the, it's movie night at home, and we're making popcorn. Popcorn. Here we go. At Litson Lady. Oh, this is interesting. I've never tried this, Nicole.

A little yellow mustard on Kraft mac and cheese is surprisingly good. I believe that. Why wouldn't mustard be good on it? I don't know, but why have I never tried this? I don't know. I've done barbecue sauce. I've done ketchup. I've done certainly all kinds of hot sauce, sriracha.

And I've never put yellow mustard on it. It sounds really good, actually. So I think a lot of people don't know what yellow, what like mustard is, right? What? What are the ingredients to like a bottle of mustard? What do they do to it? They take mustard seeds and they add water and vinegar. Yeah. But I think a lot of people don't know that. Like they just. Oh, I think that's right. People don't know that. Right? Yeah. Like it's mustard flour, like the mustard powder that you get in the store. It's just that plus vinegar. It's the seeds that you grind up. Yeah.

Yeah. People don't know that. So you'll see like mustard flour, mustard powder, whatever in the, you know, Rachel Ray's mac and cheese probably has that in there. For sure. And so why not just put a little bit of vinegary hits? It's like hot sauce is just chilies and vinegar. Mustard is just mustard seed and vinegar.

Why not? This sounds like a delight. I think I'd get on top of this 100%. I mean, thank you, Litson lady. Underscore Jordan Hanson underscore says, goldfish and cheddar cheese with Italian seasoning microwave. Then ranch. Then my favorite sentence.

You know the shortest sentence in the Bible? It's just Jesus wept. Oh, I thought it was I am. Yeah, maybe. I'm going to say's just Jesus wept? Oh, I thought it was I am. Yeah, maybe. I'm going to say it's Jesus wept. That's what the sentence then ranch reminds me of. Apre la deluge, then ranch.

This sounds good, high key. I like, do you eat it with your hands? I'm guessing a spoon. So, let's break it down. Goldfish, you put the cheddar cheese on it. Italian seasoning on top of the cheddar cheese and then microwaved. Yes. Which is a delight because then the dried herbs are getting bloomed by the oils in the cheese when they melt.

That's ace. That's good technique. Then ranch, of course, because you need the cooling effects, right? You get the cold ranch on the hot melted cheese. In my mind, this person is just swiveling that ranch on. He's not pooling it on the side. No, no, no.

He's painting it on. It's a thick drizzle. Yeah, thick drizzle. It's a thick drizzle. Correct. It's a fizzle. And they do the fizzle dance. I was going to say

fizzle dance right now. It's so funny. I've never thought about this either. This is kind of blowing my mind. It's like goldfish nachos or like migas.

That sounds great. Wow, we should make goldfish migas one time. We should definitely make goldfish migas. That sounds good. This is kind of blowing my mind. It's like goldfish nachos or like migas. That sounds great. Wow, we should make goldfish migas one time. We should definitely make goldfish migas. That sounds good. This is, man, shout out. People got great ideas today. At BXG, I'm going to say Bixcanix. I don't know how to say it.

Screw it. Everyone should learn how to cook slash make their own bread. False. No way. Nah, I don't know, man. It's like that one person who's really into sewing clothes. Everyone should learn how to sew. And I'm way. Nah, I don't know, man. It's like that one person who's really into sewing clothes. Like, everyone should learn

how to sew their own. And I'm like, nah, I'm cool. I know how to use a needle and thread. I know how to put some, you know, scraps together and bake up a loaf. But, like, I don't think it's, like, the most important thing in the world to know.

I think it's... Stocks are more important to me. Yeah, learn how to change a tire on a car versus making your own bread. Which one's more important? Yeah, do your taxes. Well, honestly, like, if you had to choose between learning how to change a tire on a car versus making your own bread. Which one's more important? Yeah, do your taxes. Well, honestly, like, if you had to choose between learning how to change a tire or making bread, which one do you think is more important to your life?

Probably making bread. Probably, right? But I think changing a tire is more important to know than how to make bread. Because, like, both are, like, the argument. But, I mean, just join AAA. Right? Because the argument is you just buy bread. Yeah. Join AAA. They're there and like, oh my, have you used AAA

roadside assistance? No, thank God I've never had to use it. Dude, no, it rules. It rules. Anything. I just like locked my keys in my car and I called, it was like 10 o'clock at night under a freeway overpass in Burbank and I was like, I locked my keys in my car, I called AAA and they were there in like five minutes. It cost me nothing. I paid like freaking

$9 a year. That's good. and the service always rules the contract what a delightful service point is you can pay most people to do other things you don't want to do these days including bake bread probably better than you could do true the triple a dude's gonna change a tire better than i could i've changed a tire before shockingly good uh i like did it and i didn't die that's great and it's pretty's pretty intuitive. You kind of just like take one off, shove another one on and put the bolts back on. What about like playing the stock market? Yeah. See, I've never done that.

But I'd like to one day pay somebody to do that for me. I'd rather learn how to play the stock market instead of learn to make like Rio. You're not like perfect substitutes for each other. Oh, what are you talking about? I guess we all have limited time. No, but I mean, I get the notion behind this. I think more people should learn about the food system because I think a lot of people just don't

know how bread is made. They don't know what yeast is. And I think doing that could be like a good just learning experience for somebody. I think if there's a zombie apoc coming, short for apocalypse, I think people should know how to make bread. You can just eat flour. No, you can't. Why not? You can get salmonella from it. No, you don't. It's a myth. Okay.

Steve Bryan Jr. says, Eating cereal from a cup or mug is way more convenient than an actual bowl. Hate this. Hate this. Do you remember how I told you how I eat cereal out of a blue solo cup? Yes, and it bothers me. Yeah, but I haven't had it in so long because I moved out. So I haven't had my blue solo cup.

So now I eat it out of a bowl like a regular person. Oh, no. My identity. And I hate it. Why do you eat it out of a cup? What regular person. Oh, no, my identity. And I hate it. Why do you eat it out of a cup? What's enjoyable about it to you? It's easier. But why is it easier?

Bowl too big, cup up. But why cup up? Why do you need the up? The cup up is better. Why? Because I say so. I'll tell you why a bowl's better. Why is a bowl better?

Because you can't get a full spoonful in the cup because there's not enough. You have to tilt the cup. You gotta use the baby spoon. No, but then you don't get enough cereal per mouth. But no. More cereal per mouth in bowl. Cup up, no good Josh mouth. No, no.

Cup higher, bowl larger, but diameter, no good. Spoon. Spoon have to be in. Spoon in. Spoon in, but dig in the cup. No dig. Josh, no dig. No, no, no.

Josh, shovel. Cup slow you down. I like actively hate eating. I'll eat a slop out of a mug. I'll make like a... That whole exchange was really, really upsetting, but also very telling of who we are. That was weird. Yeah, we just kind of devolved into it.

That was weird. What's that like early form of writing, like cuneiform? That was like spoken cuneiform. That's so funny. It's not even more convenient. A mug is just a bowl with a handle. I don't know if it's the same amount of dishes that you wash. No, diameter.

Again, you're just. Here's a smaller diameter. I want bigger diameter. I want to eat my cereal out of like a diameter. Again, you're just... Here's a smaller diameter. I want bigger diameter. I want to eat my cereal out of like a shallow pasta plate. You know? Scraping the surface. I hate that.

I hate when they serve desserts that are meant to be in a bowl, like in those like shallow plates. I'm like, no! Yeah, and then I'm just like just scraping. You're like scraping it. I just use my fingers to swipe.

Conversely, I ordered a tiramisu At a fancy restaurant recently And they served it in a martini glass Did you want to punch him in the face? Yeah and it was like a nice restaurant Like not one of those nice antiquated restaurants That would do something like that But like a cool modern restaurant that's supposed to be cool In a martini glass

Hated it One tiramisu supposed to be like even layers You don't get even layers in a martini glass. Hated it. One, tiramisu, supposed to be like even layers. Yeah. You don't get even layers in a martini glass because it's a freaking triangle. I mean, it can be like even enough. It wasn't.

It wasn't. Anyways. Oh my God. This is David Anayati. Restaurants should serve hot food hot. Oh yeah. Nicole, does this have anything to do with the steak that you paid a lot of money for at a restaurant that was served cold?

No, it's mostly like, it's David and his family have this thing where like, if the food hits the plate, you got to eat it while it's hot. I agree with that. That is how that they were raised. And that's how they eat their food. The second something comes off of the grill, it goes on your plate. There's no downtime. Yeah. And I think that's smart.

Agreed. And I think he's just tired of these restaurants serving, yeah, I think he's just tired of these restaurants serving like mid-cold food. You know who like serves hot food well? Because that's the thing that's happened to me at multiple restaurants. The pasta sits too long, it gets sort of gummy

and it's not hot. The steak over-rests, it's a cold steak. You know who serves hot food hot? Frickin' Chili's. Seriously, you go to these mass market restaurants that a lot of their techniques and workflows are really dialed in from a corporate level. Because some capital investment firm told them to in a PowerPoint presentation. And I went to a Chili's or some sort of equivalent. It wasn't chili's what

was it oh it was a red lobster oh it was red lobster same thing uh but no the the hot food came really hot the plates were freaking hot i love that and it was incredible and i was like this is a delight i certainly you know because you know restaurants they have plate warmers like they have it like use it you know it's just annoying how they don't use it thanks for writing this cute little thing, babe. Love you. Oh, I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up.

Your brother's the next one. Oh, my God. Oh, God. Yeah, okay. Well, you know, let's go to my brother then. We got at Couchwine, Nicole is a hipster who only drinks orange wine. I literally barely drink orange wine. I don't know where he gets these lies from.

I am. He has this idea of who I am and it's just fake. We're all fake. I recently went to a restaurant with him and watched him order wine. It was unbelievable. It was like

watching people talk in code. He went up to the server, came by, and my brother was like, yeah, you know, I'm a big Yossi Lights fanboy, but I don't know if the Riesling from this region right now is like blah blah blah by and my brother was like yeah you know i'm a big yossi lights fan boy but i don't know if the riesling from this region right now is like bubble i think i was like oh love yossi lights and i was just like who are you talking about who is like a bts guy like what who you just like name a wine producer and then it got us a free cup of soup my brother was so impressive at a restaurant that they were just like soup from the chef.

And yeah, so he's the real influencer here. Nima underscore Harz says mushrooms have bad PR. Fungus? Nima, you're so funny. Yeah, I love mushrooms. And I think they're starting to, I mean, like people are starting to like eat mushrooms more. I think people were anti-mushroom for a long time because they think it's gross. Yeah.

But now they're, like, down. I know what you mean. Like, mushrooms are the new beans. True. You know, like, everyone's, you know that hipster bean list that everyone was on? Yeah, Rancho Gordo. Rancho Gordo. So there's, like, an artisanal bean farmer producer, Steve Sando, I believe his name is, Rancho Gordo.

They make fantastic beans. Good beans. Oh, fantastic beans. Good ass beans. During the pandemic, they had this like bean of the month club or something. Oh, I don't like that.

And it now has a 35,000 person waiting list. Huh? Which is wild. But anyways, I'm rooting for mushrooms to be the next like cool hipster foodie status symbol. Yeah, I love mushrooms.

To be like, oh, I'm on 19th on the waiting list for the lion's mane mushrooms to come in. People need to eat more mushrooms. I do. It's such a diverse world and they are so cool and there's so many cooking methods

that you can use with mushrooms. Big fan. Go to a farmer's market and find the mushroom guy. He's always a weird mushroom guy. Yeah, I love watching people. He smells a little dark. Yeah, smells damp.

Smells like he's been in a cellar. Smells dusky. He's probably been in a cellar. Yeah, but I don't care. No? I just think it's so cool how like mushrooms are like, there's so many different kinds of mushrooms and also watching people forage mushrooms is really fun. Oh, they just like, they just kind of root around like a pig and just kind of dig and

yank them out? It's like they like educate, there's like people, I forgot what they're called. There's like mushrooms. Mycologists. Yeah, mycologists that can actually take you on guided tours to pick really cool mushrooms. And I think that's awesome. Okay, I'm done. And on that note, thank you for listening to A Hot Dog is a Sandwich.

If you want to hear more from us here in the Mythical Kitchen, we got new episodes for you every Wednesday. If you want to be featured on Opinions Without Casseroles, you can hit us up on Twitter at MythicalChef or MHendizadeh with the hashtag OpinionCasserole. And for more Mythical Kitchen, check us out on YouTube where we launch new videos every week. And of course, if you want to share pictures of your dishes, hit us up on Instagram at Mythical Kitchen. See you next time.